Chapter Fifteen
B.J. worried she was going to yak through the entire ceremony. Arriving at the courthouse half an hour early, she had to admit, she was a little unnerved when she discovered the ever-prompt Grady hadn’t shown up yet. Not that she’d blame him if he cried off. But damn, even tomboys didn’t want to get jilted at the altar.
Her stomach had already been weak up to that point. And she was cranky because she hadn’t been able to have her morning coffee for going on three weeks now. But the absence of Grady’s truck in the parking lot tipped the scales. She hurried into the building, found the nearest bathroom, and threw up until there was nothing left.
When she stumbled out five minutes later, weak and tired, she immediately started to unbutton her blouse. The white T-shirt she had on underneath seemed to be free of chunks, but she had to admit, a plain white T and blue jeans was not the best outfit for a bride.
She hadn’t thought the new dark pants looked that bad with the blouse she’d originally put on. But with a plain white undershirt, the jeans suddenly looked less crisp and more. . .average. Glancing at her watch, she cursed when she saw how late it was. She probably didn’t have time to go home and find a new top.
Suddenly, she laughed, realizing what she was doing. Waiting until she was twenty-seven was a little too late to finally start worrying about her appearance. But then she glanced up and saw Grady approaching. Her smile fell flat. He wore slacks, a starched shirt, and a tie.
Damn it.
She couldn’t stand next to him and get married when she looked like this and he was decked out in that.
“I need to change,” she said without preamble. Lifting the wadded blouse in her hand, she added, “I just got sick all over my shirt.”
His blue eyes took in the shirt and then rose to her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she nearly snapped, trying to hold back her impatience. She needed to get a move on it, though, or she’d be late for her own wedding. “I just need to go home real quick and—”
“You look fine,” Grady interrupted.
She snorted. “Says the man whose damn-near wearing a tux. Just look at us, Slim. Talk about mismatched.”
He merely quirked his lips at her distress. “I can’t imagine you owning a dress.”
“Because I don’t,” she said, appalled by the very idea. “But I do have some black slacks. I could—”
“B.J.,” he said, grasping her elbow. “It doesn’t matter what you wear. We’re still going to be married either way.”
B.J. blew out a breath. “Well, if you don’t care, then I certainly don’t give a rat’s ass.”
He grinned, and his smile immediately shot a spear of white-hot pleasure down her spine and through her arms and legs. God, she loved his full smile. It’d been in remission far too long. But what she liked even more was the fact she’d been the one to make his eyes crinkle and the corners of his lips tilt up.
“Amy always said you’d turn out beautiful,” he murmured, skimming a purely male, appreciative gaze down her body.
B.J.’s heart stopped beating. For a full second, she could only gape. He’d just called her beautiful. . .or at least implied it. Be still her heart, the man had complimented her. What a day this was turning out to be. First a smile, then a comment on her looks. She was starting to feel like an honest-to-God bride.
Afraid tears would follow, she bit down hard on the inside of her lip.
She was beyond grateful when a voice called, “Grady!” from behind them, interrupting the moment.
Both B.J. and Grady turned to find his younger brother approaching. Caine Rawlings was one year younger than her, but they’d shared a few classes in high school. He was a famous photographer who lived in some big city, she couldn’t remember which—maybe Dallas. But she hadn’t known he was going to show today.
Obviously, neither had Grady. He stared at his brother in shock. “What’re you doing here?”
Caine ignored the question until he’d folded Grady in a hard hug. Then he said, “I’m here to see you tie the knot. What do you think I’m doing here?”
Grady frowned in confusion. “I thought you couldn’t make it.”
Caine snorted. “Like I was going to miss my big brother’s wedding.” Then he turned and grinned at B.J. “Especially to this wild thing.”
The two brothers were strikingly similar in looks, but Caine was shorter—probably the same height as B.J.’s five ten—and he was stouter than Grady. Plus his playful blue gaze had nothing on the intensely hot look Grady could give.
Grinning at her, he murmured, “Banner,” and pulled her into a hug, much the way he had Grady. “Welcome to the family, kid.”
She couldn’t recall ever being hugged by Caine Rawlings before. But it was strangely comforting, as if she really was welcomed into his circle of loved ones.
“Banner?” Grady repeated in confusion.
When B.J. glanced at him, she found him frowning thoughtfully. It took him a second to realize what his brother meant. Then his eyes popped open wide.
“Is that what the ‘B’ in your name stands for?” He swung toward his brother. “How in the world do you know her name?”
Caine merely grinned and gave a mischievous shrug. When Grady turned back, pinning her with an accusing gaze, B.J. sighed.
“I lost a bet with him in high school,” she explained with a roll of her eyes. “And the wager was for me to tell him what B.J. stood for.”
Grady looked back to Caine, apparently not liking the fact his own brother knew more about her than he did.
“Hey, she made me swear not to tell anyone,” Caine defended, still grinning.
Grady swung back to B.J. “What does the ‘J’ stand for?”
She sighed again. “Didn’t you pay attention to my name on the marriage license?”
He gave her a blank look. Then he scratched his head and murmured, “I didn’t even think to look.”
“Don’t tell,” Caine advised, sending her a devilish smile and a quick wink. “Not knowing will bug him to death.”
Grady didn’t get a chance to pry anymore, anyway. Everyone else showed up, seemingly all at once. Grady’s parents, grandfather, and Jo Ellen appeared along with Cooper and baby Tanner. Her father strolled in next with her three brothers and sister-in-law, Phyllis. Thankfully, Buck and Phyllis had found a sitter for their little hellion.
Jeb and Rudy trooped directly toward her, while Leroy stopped a few yards away with Buck and his wife.
Rudy was the first to speak. Holding out two envelopes, he said, “Here. This one’s from the Smardos. Junkyard would’ve liked to come, but he thought it best to stay away.”
B.J. stared at the card in surprise. Well, hell, she hadn’t expected to receive gifts for marrying Grady. Getting him felt like a special present all by itself. However long he could stand to be married to her, he was going to be hers.
“Uh. . .thanks,” she said, feeling uncomfortable as she took the card her brother thrust into her unsuspecting hands.
“And this one’s from me,” Rudy said, pushing another card at her. “Actually, it’s from all of us, but no one else had the balls to give it to you.”
He sent a meaningful look toward Pop. But Jeb merely cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck.
“So, uh, what do I got to do at this thing?” he asked.
For the first time, she noticed he was wearing a new pair of overalls and his thin, gray hair had been slicked back as if recently brushed with a wet comb. Feeling a sudden spark of adoration for him, she smiled.
“Don’t worry, Pop. This isn’t one of those conventional weddings. You don’t have to walk me down the aisle or anything.”
“Oh,” he said, and for a second she could’ve sworn he looked disappointed. But then he blew out a breath and gruffly said, “Thank God.”
B.J.’s grin spread. She was about to tease and put him on the spot by saying something like, ‘unless you really want to,’ bu
t both men tensed, glancing over her shoulder at someone’s approach. She turned and found Jo Ellen there, holding out two small wrapped presents.
As Jeb and Rudy subtly backed off, moving automatically toward the rest of their family, Jo Ellen grinned and handed the gifts over. “Emma Leigh says she’s sorry she couldn’t make it today. But this is from her and her husband, Bran.”
She piled the package in B.J.’s quickly filling arms. “And this is from me, Cooper, and Tanner. Actually, it’s really for the baby. It’s a book. What to Expect when You’re Expecting.”
B.J. blinked down at the second gift Jo Ellen had given her. “Really? Well, hot damn, I didn’t know I could buy instructions for the little ankle bitter.”
Jo Ellen laughed and then impulsively threw her arms around B.J. Since her hands were already full, B.J. couldn’t hug back, so she stood there in stunned shock as Grady’s sister kissed her cheek and said into her ear, “Welcome to the family. Oh, and thank you for not sleeping with Cooper.”
B.J. pulled back in surprise. When Jo Ellen merely beamed, she blinked. Then she let out a chuckle.
“Did he tell you?” she had to know. “Or did you just listen in on our conversation?”
Jo Ellen snorted. “Like I could get him to confess something like that.”
B.J. shook her head. “It wouldn’t have happened between us, anyway,” she said. “He was so hung up on you, it was pathetic.”
Jo smiled, obviously pleased to hear such a report. “Then I’m glad you were there to cheer him up.”
B.J. glanced around to make sure no one else was listening. But Grady stood gathered with his family, and her relatives were clustered in their own group.
“I really don’t do sympathy sex,” she muttered quietly so only Jo Ellen could hear. “I wasn’t thinking one sorry thought when Grady and I—” Realizing she was about to discuss personal details with his sister, she snapped her mouth shut.
Jo Ellen smiled. “Well, that’s good to know. Just as long as you did with Cooper.”
“Okay, it was all about sympathy with Cooper,” she relented. “That’s true. And Ralphie Smardo too, but not—”
“I think it’s time to get started,” Granger Rawlings announced loudly from his wheelchair. “But before we all go into the judge’s office, I demand a kiss from my soon-to-be granddaughter.”
B.J. was quick to oblige the old man. She leaned over him and pressed her lips to his cheek, but he grabbed her hand and returned the sentiment, softly saying for her ears alone, “I’m glad it’s you who’ll be taking care of my grand-boy.”
She blinked repeatedly as she straightened. She hadn’t expected this kind of welcome at all from Grady’s family. She’d just assumed they’d see her as some kind of opportunist leech, going after the sad widower and taking advantage of him. But with Jo Ellen’s, Granger’s, and Caine’s approval, she felt pretty damn good.
Then she turned and caught Tucker Rawlings’s eye. Grady’s father gave her a quiet nod, his eyes full of all sorts of messages. She froze, suddenly remembering their “arrangement.”
He’d already cornered her at her house earlier in the week with his lengthy prenuptial agreement. Having no problem letting Grady keep all his money and possessions in case of a divorce, she’d signed Tucker Rawlings paperwork. Thinking they’d get into specifics about child custody and her plane next, she’d been shocked when he’d merely nodded and left, leaving behind her own copy of the prenup.
She spent the rest of the evening reading what she’d just signed. And to her horror, the deed and child custody issues were all mentioned in the document. If she and Grady ever split, full custody of their baby would go to him, and in return her plane would be signed over in her name.
A cold chill washed over her. Swallowing, she set her hand protectively over her stomach. In the past few days, she’d come to realize she wanted her baby. . .she wanted it very much. And she wasn’t about to give it up either. Not for anything.
Somehow, someway, she was going to have to make her husband keep her around for a good long while. Because she also wanted to be his wife just as much as she wanted to keep her baby.
It was the biggest gamble she’d ever taken.
Chapter Sixteen
The wedding was over five minutes after it started. It took longer to get everyone packed into the judge’s chamber than it did to say all their vows and sign their names to the certificate. Rudy stepped forward and relieved her of her wedding presents and puked-on blouse. Then he backed her even more by being a second witness to sign the license.
“Does this make me your maid of honor?” he asked teasingly.
B.J. rolled her eyes. “Just sign.”
Grady had his brother Caine stand in as his witness. And then it was all over and done. She was married. Feeling queasy, B.J. pressed a hand to her stomach and prayed she didn’t have to race to a bathroom.
After all the legal paperwork was taken care of, Tara Rose declared they’d celebrate her son’s wedding at the country club, all tabs paid by the Rawlings family. Her brothers eagerly stepped forward, salivating at the thought of a free meal. Rudy and Leroy headed straight for the bar as soon as they arrived. But B.J. pulled to a frozen stop in the doorway, feeling transported back in time.
The last time she’d stepped foot inside Tommy Creek’s Country Club, the whole place had been rented out and decorated with blue and cream-colored balloons and crepe paper for a Rawlings wedding. . .for Grady’s wedding. Realizing she was here again for the same exact reason, B.J. sent her groom a worried look.
But he’d obviously been here numerous times since then. Because when he caught her gaze, he didn’t looked sickened with nostalgia. He merely puckered his brow and took her elbow, looking concerned. “Are you still feeling queasy?”
B.J. stared at him a moment longer. He honestly didn’t look overcome with misery, like this was the worst day of his life, so she shook her head. “No. I’m fine. Just hungry.”
****
As marriages went, she couldn’t say hers and Grady’s was by any means normal. But she couldn’t say she minded it either. It was nearly midnight when they broke away from both their families and finally arrived at his big house on the hill. Feeling self-conscious about going inside, B.J. lagged behind as Grady led the way to the entrance.
This was Amy’s home. Grady had built it for her. Though dozens of people had been hired to construct it, no one had labored as hard as Grady had. B.J. still remembered driving by when it was being erected. Every time she’d looked out her window, there he was, shirtless and sweating, helping out and making sure every detail was just the way his wife wanted it.
Amy had been so excited to see it finished. B.J. remembered bumping into her at the grocery store one time. The woman gushed on for a good half hour about its progress, not even noticing how B.J. had nearly gone cross-eyed and started to drool from boredom.
Seven years later, the place was still in great condition. The brick siding had weathered well, and the trim looked as freshly painted as the first time B.J. had seen it finished. The dried wilting weeds in the flowerbed, however, about broke her heart. She stared at them as Grady unlocked the front door.
There was a swing at the far end of the porch, and she had a sudden vision of him, at sunset, sitting there, watching the sky turn all shades of the rainbow. He was the quiet type who would do a thing like that. He’d feel content, living out here by himself with nothing but a house full of ghosts and memories to keep him company.
Tension gnawing at her stomach, B.J. glanced once more at the decaying flowerbed. When she saw a green flowering plant in the depths of those brown weeds, despite the fact it was being choked out, she caught her breath, not sure whether it was a good omen or bad. She could either take it as a sign for new growth and hope, or as a haunting reminder that there would always be a part of Amy alive here, no matter how dead she was.
B.J. shivered. She was about to step over the threshold into Amy’s life with Amy
’s husband. It felt almost wrong. . .forbidden.
She glanced toward Grady to see how all this affected him, but he’d already opened the door and disappeared inside. “Remind me to get you a key made,” he called over his shoulder.
Wondering briefly if he’d carried Amy through the doorway of their first home after they married, she shook her head and forced the thought away. “Okay.”
She didn’t want Grady picking her up. She definitely didn’t want him treating her the same way he’d treated Amy. She was nowhere near that important to him, so she’d better just forget any ideas otherwise.
****
After pointing out the kitchen and bathrooms, Grady showed B.J. the second floor.
“This is our room.” He opened the first entrance on the right in a long hall full of closed doors.
He stood in the entrance, watching her stroll around the room and study the furniture. She peeked into the closet and was surprised to see all his clothes pushed to one side, leaving the other half completely bare. The skin on the back of her neck prickled as she wondered if this was where Amy had hung her dresses.
“I cleaned out a few drawers for you too,” Grady said, bringing her attention back around in time to catch him opening a dresser drawer to show her it was empty.
She blinked in surprise. He’d cleaned the space out for her? That meant. . .leaving the closet half-bare hadn’t been some tribute to his departed wife. It was done in order to welcome B.J. Feeling ashamed of her thoughts, she looked at the room in a new light and realized this probably wasn’t even the master bedroom. There wasn’t a bath connected, nor did it contain some of the amenities a homeowner would put in his private chambers.
He’d probably moved into this room after Amy died. That suspicion was confirmed when she moved back into the hall and motioned toward the half a dozen closed doors lining the walls.
“What’re they?”
Grady shrugged, unable to meet her eyes. “Other rooms,” he said on a mumble and started back down the stairs.
Though she was tempted to go peek, she decided not to mess with opening any closed doors just yet. She turned to follow him back down to the ground floor. But once she entered the living room, an open photo album caught her attention. Wandering closer, she jerked to a stop when she saw a picture of Grady feeding Amy a piece of wedding cake.