The next morning, all packed up, they said goodbye to this home of theirs.
Zoe had Laura nestled in her carrying pouch. “I’m a little sad about leaving. Never thought I would be.”
Harry glanced at the sheer face of the mountain that towered over them. “Imagine, we started way up there.”
Laura hiccupped, and Harry reached over and wiggled her nose.
“That should fix it,” Zoe said, smoothing her own hand over Laura’s face.
“Shall we start out?”
“Wait a minute.” She poked her head in the cave. “Click. Just taking a mental picture.” She was about to join him when she whirled back to the cave. “We almost forgot.”
She came back with Harry’s axe.
“Um, it’s heavy. And I don’t think we’re going to need it. Why don’t you just put it back. And hey, lean it up nicely.”
Zoe looked hard at the axe, cracked a smile and hurled it off into the woods. She stood there ready to argue about tossing it—something she had longed to do more than once.
When he didn’t respond, no doubt wanting to get out of there as much as she did, she grinned broadly. “Ready. Lead the way.”
So with Harry carrying the food and his gun, and Zoe toting Laura, they headed down along the creek outside their cave. The sky was clear and the trees were budding. She took energetic steps, big steps, with a beaming smile, and a constant loving eye on her daughter. They followed the winding creek, its gurgling and bubbling sounds making for a pleasant background.
Zoe turned around to take one last look at the grand mountain. Something moved. “There’s the cougar. Up there—between the trees.”
“He dropped the food and shouldered his gun. “I’ll get it.”
“Harry, it lives here.” She’d never have pointed it out if she thought he’d just kill it. “Let’s just wish it well and say goodbye.”
“It's a predator. You’ve seen too many Disney movies.”
She made a pleading face, which prompted him to lower his weapon.
“Okay, fine.”
They walked on.
“It’s great not having to trudge through snow,” said Harry.
Zoe contemplated the seasons. “What day is it?”
“I have no idea.”
“We need to keep track of the days, so we can eventually figure out Laura's birthday.”
“Right now, she’s fifteen days old. I've been keeping track.” He paused to show her the side of his gun case. “See, for each day, I add a mark along the edge of my gun case.”
Her jaw unhinged. “I can't believe it. You're scratching up your gun case.”
“Yeah, I guess I am.” Harry’s brow’s came together in a bushy V. “These scratches for each of Laura’s first days are special.”
“I see a family heirloom.”
They walked several more yards before Zoe spoke. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Why didn't you have children with Carol? It sounds like that's been a huge hole for her.”
“It has.”
They continued walking and she waited for a response.
“It’s a beautiful blue sky, the sun shining and there’s Laura, looking around with those big eyes of hers.”
They hiked across a rockslide, which slowed them down.
“Guess there’s not much you don’t know at this point.”
The time had apparently allowed Harry to ease into another one of his stories that she loved to hear.
“Carol’s a wonderful gal. I'm truly blessed. And, though we never discussed it, I assumed we might have a child or two. My kids were almost out of the house and it would have been like a second family. But, turns out Carol picked me for a reason…I already had kids, and they're close with her. She can’t have children. I’m sure something happened to her. She won't talk about it, but underneath I know it’s distressing. I have my theories, but I don’t really know.”
Zoe was torn between suggesting she should seek help or encourage Harry to respect her privacy. It was an uncomfortable feeling for her, not knowing what to say.
“You’re young, Zoe, and when you’re young, everything seems fixable. It’s not until you get older that you understand that there are just some things no one can fix.”
She glanced down at Laura, the seriousness of the moment dissipating with the sight of her little face.
Harry continued. “Things have worked out in unexpected ways. I know what Laura will mean for Carol. You see, there is a lot to be happy for today.”
Zoe hadn’t taken her eyes off Laura, Harry’s words bouncing off without much thought.
As they walked, they found themselves squeezed between a rock wall that had risen up to their right and the creek on their left. The creek was shallow but wide, and its banks were soft and muddy.
“We have to cross over.”
Zoe stepped toward the creek but began to sink in the mud, and jumped back. “Argh.”
“Better take’m off.”
Harry first tossed his across the stream. She then handed him her shoes and with another good toss, they also landed safely on dry ground.
He stepped forward and gestured for Laura.
She resisted the urge to argue that she was capable of taking Laura across, but opted to let Harry enjoy a moment being a man. With Laura in his arms, he took the next step into the creek. She heard his gulp, as the water was freezing. Nonetheless, he worked his way across, stepping around the large rocks lying in the creek.
“Wow, was that cold.”
“Watch out, here I come,” shouted Zoe.
She slugged through the muddy bank. However, as she reached the water, the burst of youthful energy and the warm sunshine got the best of her. With the springiness of a fawn, she stepped up and then hopped from one large rock to the next, zigzagging her way to the other side. She stood on the last rock. She had been carrying her winter gear, and for whatever reason, decided to toss it over for the final leg. With Harry and Laura watching, she heaved it into the air, landing it, plop at Harry’s feet.
Zoe smiled at this playful victory, but it was short-lived. Gravity gained the upper hand, and doing a kind of comical dance, she flapped her arms in a failing attempt to steady herself.
As if landing thud face down in the mud wasn’t bad enough, getting up only made things worse—her arms and legs sunk further in. She walked the final few feet completely covered in thick gooey yuck.
“Don’t even think about laughing.” She couldn’t hold back either, and both of them broke into uncontrollable laughter.
“Just wash off in the stream.”
“Are you kidding? I’ll turn into an ice cube.”
“I didn’t mean you should take a bath. Just dab your hand in the water enough to get wet and clean off the mud.” At her incredulous expression, he nodded. “Yup, it’ll take time, but look at you. Your clothes, on the other hand, you should take off and rinse them in the flowing water. They’ll dry off fast enough in this arid air.”
She picked up on the idea but wanted to get away from the mud. It was hard to clean off mud while standing in it. Looking around she noticed that just ahead, the bank was level and solid rock. Somewhat skeptical that she could really clean up, she walked over and stood at the water’s edge.
Leaning down, she passed her hand ever so slightly in the flowing water. Her hand immediately snapped up, anticipating the cold, but it was bearable and she tried again. The mud melted away from the bottom of her hand. Encouraged, she started on an arm. It wasn’t so bad after all.
Turning to Harry, she gave him an approving nod. “Can you leave Laura? I’ll wash her too. You know, it’s the first time we really had running water.”
Walking over, Zoe took Laura and returned back. Lying Laura on a flat rock and keeping her steady with one hand, Zoe moistened her fingers and rubbed across Laura’s soft skin. It engaged Laura in a new sensation, her eyes anticipating each stroke.
“When I’m done I?
??ll put her on my coat. Can you hand it to me?”
He brought it over and watched.
“Thanks. I’ll be fine. Just need a few minutes.”
Harry still stood there looking around.
“Harry. I’ve got to take my clothes off. Can you go away?”
His cheeks reddened above his beard. “Oh, silly me. Of course.” Toting his gun, he marched thirty feet or so into the trees. Although he was facing away, she remained uncomfortable.
She yelled out. “Harry, I mean really away. So I can’t see you.”
He finally got the idea and headed into the trees. Relaxed, she finished washing Laura then gently placed her on her coat, using her winter hat as a blanket. Laura immediately began playfully squirming.
Zoe found a heavy, fallen branch and lugged it back to the water’s edge. Standing it upright, she pushed it into the soft riverbed.
With one more scan of the woods, she assured herself that she was indeed alone. She started with her shirt. Taking it off and holding it tight with the tips of her fingers, she dipped it into the passing water. Unlike other faster sections, the current meandered by at this particular spot, and so the stream only occasionally hinted at carrying the shirt off.
Initially, dark muddy water flowed like paint, but then the mud would wash out. It reminded her of rinsing a paintbrush. She hung the shirt on the branch and its sleeves swayed in the breeze. She took off another item, and another, rinsing and hanging them on the branch until she finally was standing there naked.
It was a liberating moment, having been bundled up all winter. Next, she leaned down and worked on the remaining splats of mud, dissolving the crusty stuff away. Unfortunately, the tightness on her back, just below her shoulders, told her there was more.
Wanting to get it off, she lay with her back to the creek. Putting her weight on her elbows, she scooted forward. With most of her back hovering over the water, she dipped in to skim the mud off.
The water was chilly and by reflex, she thrust her legs up in a motion to get up. But she slipped. Splash, she went in, and then instantly sprang to her feet. At least I’m clean, she thought. She finished up while reminiscing about being home and that freshness she loved after taking a long, hot shower.
“Hey Laura, how’ya doing?” The clean air, the anticipation of going home, the chance to take a moment for her self and clean up—she was blissfully happy. But this ended abruptly.
The cougar was back. Adrenalin shot through Zoe’s body. It strode toward Laura. Grabbing the heavy branch, she plucked it from the riverbed. She shook off the hanging clothes. The cougar took notice, but didn’t slow its advance.
Zoe’s body tensed. Taking two strong brisk steps, she placed herself between Laura and the cougar. She screamed for Harry; but no response. The cougar moved closer. She raised the branch, ready to strike. It growled and circled.
She yelled at it. “Get lost. Scram.”
But the cat kept closing in. She yelled again, threatening it with feigning swings. But she didn’t want to waste that first blow—it had to count.
Zoe didn’t let the cougar find an opening to strike her unsuspecting daughter. She kept between them, matching the cougar’s every move. With pounding rage, she stepped toward the cougar. It hissed. Clearly it wanted Laura, who was now whimpering. The cougar became even more aggressive, its movements driven by a fixation on helpless Laura.
Zoe stomped. This got the cougar’s attention. It stopped, stepping back. She screamed for Harry again and again, not realizing the fear in her voice.
This wasn’t missed by the cougar. Emboldened, it postured, ready to pounce. She couldn’t wait—she grabbed the initiative. Letting loose a wild swing, she whacked the cougar on the side of the head. This knocked the animal over, but also the stick out of her hands.
The cougar recovered and got up. She was frozen, unable to step aside to retrieve the stick; she couldn’t remove herself between Laura and the cougar’s teeth. She grabbed a handful of sand and pebbles. Her eyes were pinned on the animal. She tried one last time to intimidate it, thrusting forward and raising her arms, all the while yelling at the top of her lungs.
The cougar leapt. She threw the sand causing the cougar to turn its head, but not before the cougar swiped her arm with its claws. With all her weight, Zoe pushed it aside mid-air, sending both of them tumbling to the ground. By the time she regained her orientation, the cougar was already charging.
It’s over.
The last thing she’d hear would be Laura’s cries. She lost the strength to even brace herself. The cougar flew onto her naked body, but then didn’t move. There was a long silence punctuated by Laura’s feverish pitched shrieks. Then, a strange sensation on her skin. Warmth, a liquid.
Blood!
Hers? The silence dragged on, while her mind raced to anticipate what was next. But nothing happened.
“Are you okay?” Harry ran over, panting, very much out of breath.
It all clicked. Harry had shot the cougar. A shot she hadn’t heard over her own screaming.
“Just get Laura. I’m okay.”
She pushed the dead animal off, though its tail was left still draped across her waist. She and Harry regained their composure. Finally she thought her legs would support her weight.
“Can you turn around?”
“Oh, sorry.” He continued to coo at Laura, calming her.
She slid out from under the cougar’s defeated tail and dragged herself over to the stream. Her arm was throbbing. Blood oozed out from five slits across her forearm.
“I’m hurt.”
Harry momentarily glanced over. “You need to clean the wound. I’ll get soap.”
Still very much rattled, she again scooped water, gradually washing off the blood—both that of the cougar and her own. Harry soon arrived back, doing his best to look away without tripping. While holding Laura with one hand against his body, he handed to Zoe the last remaining piece of soap.
“Are the cuts deep?”
“No. Not too bad.”
“Good. Let them dry in the sun and clot.”
After gathering her damp clothes, she dressed and put on her shoes. Harry had been a little optimistic about the drying time.
He’d been biding his time, humming to Laura, and periodically succumbing to the urge to blurt out, “Damn. That was close.”
After dressing, she walked to Harry. Still holding Laura with one arm, he hugged her with the other. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. They just held each other, letting all the stored-up fear and anxiety pass.
Then they left, hiking along the creek. The mood was business-like. It didn’t matter that it was a beautiful day anymore.
It was time to get out.
Chapter 8
Harry cheered. It had taken until mid-afternoon, but they finally reached his stone pile.
“It’s from my expedition before winter. It marked my path back to the cave.”
Zoe’s stomach growled. “Can we eat? I’m hungry.”
“Sure, this is a good spot.”
While they ate, he pointed and told of his climbing the northward and southward passes. He could see now that the stream they had followed emptied into a lake, centered in the valley.
“I didn't even know this lake was here. It was frozen, under the snow. That reminds me, we need water.”
He took out and filled the plastic bag that had held the ammo, careful not to make it too heavy.
Hiking along the water’s edge was a lot easier than up to the pass, where they huffed and puffed in the warm desert air. Harry turned at one point and much to his surprise, saw that Zoe had her coat unzipped and was walking along nursing.
“That’s amazing.”
“Come on, keep your eyes on the road.”
That got him thinking. “The hard part when we find the road, is knowing which way to go.”
“What do you mean?”
“The wrong way could just take us back into th
e middle of nowhere.”
He wanted to turn and make sure he hadn’t alarmed her, but realized it better to use more words.
“Actually, away from the mountains is probably the right direction.” He hoped this was true, and got to think about it for another hour until they stepped up and onto the southward pass. The sun had just dipped below the horizon.
“This is about when I arrived last time. It seems trudging alone through snow is near as fast as a spring hike carrying a baby.” He twisted around. “Hey Laura, how are you doing?”
“I think she’s hungry again.”
“Over here, this is where I slept.”
Zoe was single-minded and didn’t even glance to where he was pointing. Instead, she took a long, hard look out across the plains. “I don’t see a road.”
“I'm sure it's there, but a good distance out.”
She regarded him. “How do you know it's there?”
“After it had gotten dark, when I was out here last time, I watched a car's headlights cross the horizon.”
“Just one car?”
“Yeah. Just one. That’s all that went by. And like now, I never could actually see the road. I wish I could,” he said, more to himself than to her.
“It would be reassuring.” Zoe scanned the camp area.
It was dark and stars were out in abundance. Laura started to fuss and Harry unraveled the blankets.
“It's cooling down. Can you keep Laura warm for a minute?”
“Sure.”
Zoe had him take off his coat and she put it back on over his shoulders but without his arms in the sleeves.
“Here’s Laura.” She took Laura out of her carrying sack, the cold air causing Laura to open her eyes wide. Harry took her and Zoe zipped the coat over her, while he held her tiny body against his chest.
#
Zoe watched his ministrations, knowing that she had to talk to him; sooner than later, if she could only find the right moment.
“It's nice holding her, isn't it?”
“Yeah. She's so delicate.”
Feeling the carrying sack would never be warm enough, Zoe thought to sleep with Laura on her chest, much like how Harry held her now. However, she figured it better if she removed her shirt ahead of time, so she could nurse.
“Don't look over here for a minute. Okay?”
He turned his head away and looked out over the moonlit plains. It was getting colder, so she worked quickly.
Now was as good as any time. “I need to talk to you about something.”