“We need to go quickly,” Scriber said through Sam.
Sam hurried out the exit and Ruin felt Isadore in him more than ever. The sudden burning need to have her, keep her, caused him to hurry after him.
At exiting the shed, Sam aimed his fingers forward and purple ink shot out, forming a tunnel leading to the car. Outside the tunnel, a barrage of demons pummeled the purple walls, echoing inside the eerie hall they raced through.
“I feel Isadore,” Ruin said, needing to know if she was still somehow alive.
“Yes,” Sam said.
“Yes, what,” Ruin demanded.
“It’s the link. Keep moving. Quickly!”
Ruin did as he said, knowing the being didn’t hurry for nothing. Once at the car, Ruin dumped the boy in the back seat and climbed in next to him. Sam muttered words the second the doors shut and the purple tunnel fell, followed by an explosion that sent the forest before them shooting into the air like a blender of giant broccoli.
“Ohhhhhh shhhhiiiiiite!” Sam gasped, holding his chest, looking at Scriber now sitting across from him in the front seat. He groaned and gasped. “Ffffrrrrack, my body hurts!”
“I’m sorry,” Scriber said. “I healed the worst of it.”
“Why do I feel Isadore,” Ruin demanded. “What do you mean it’s the link?”
“Drive, Sam,” Scriber said calmly.
“She saved me,” the boy said.
Ruin met the boy’s bright eyes and immediately disliked him for those words. Then he remembered she hadn’t done it for the boy. “No, she saved me.”
He stared at Ruin for several moments and Ruin realized he had his normal powers back and felt the boy reading him.
“What are you looking for?” Ruin snarled.
“Nothing,” he said.
“You lie.” Ruin loathed more than ever that sin.
He shook his head. “I’m just looking. I always look.”
Ruin regarded him a few moments more. “It’s rude to dig inside people’s minds without asking. Just because you can, doesn’t make it okay.”
The boy nodded. “Yes sir.”
Ruin regarded him a few seconds more then met Sam’s gaze in the rearview mirror. “How you doing, big guy?”
At hearing the concern in his voice, pain nearly stole his breath. Ruin fought to think around it. “What…happened, Scriber, where is Isadore?”
He realized how crazy the question sounded. “I feel her.”
“You feel the link.”
“I feel her in Sam.”
“No,” Scriber said. “You don’t feel her in Sam.”
Fury took him and he roared at the stupid being, “I feel her in Sam!”
“You feel the link!”
“No! I feel Isadore, I feel her.” Ruin fought to calm down, maybe if he cooperated a little he might gain some kind of mercy now that she’d done this. “Is she still here? In Sam, I mean? Can she come back?” He gripped the seat next to Scriber. “How can I get her back Scriber, tell me, please, I’ll do whatever it takes, there has to be some way.”
Silence. So much silence.
“I feel her!” Ruin yelled.
“You’re not feeling her, brother. You’re feeling the link.”
“What the fuck does that even mean, Scriber!”
“It means you need a link to be what you are in this realm,” he answered still calmly.
Ruin fought to digest the words, fighting desperately not to let those words mean what it seemed Scriber was suggesting. “Are you…are you saying that I have to link to another?” The idea stole his breath. That would mean…he’d linked to Isadore out of…necessity? No, it was more than that. “I will gladly die right now. I will never link to another person, oh fuck,” he gasped, shaking his head at the idea. Ruin gasped and it hit him what Scriber was also saying. “You said I’m feeling the link. Are you saying I-I’ve already linked? To Sam? No, no, no,” Ruin shook his head, “then that can’t be right, he’s a fucking man, that can’t be right.”
“Maybe he should try to link to another woman?” Sam suggested.
The blasphemy boiled his blood. “I will never link to another woman!” Ruin ground out before roaring, “Never!”
“Ooookay,” Sam mumbled. “No linking to another woman, got that loud and clear.”
Something was wrong. Ruin could feel it. Sam was lying. Hiding something. “What are you hiding Sam?”
“Hiding? Not hiding.”
The giant untruth felt like a slap in Ruin’s face and he was very much ready to take his head off in order to get to the truth. He barely managed the low, “You lie.”
“Tell him,” Scriber said.
“No, hell no,” Sam shook his said, “There has to be another way around this, surely the link isn’t set, he can, he can re-link or something.”
“Absolutely impossible.”
Sam looked at Scriber several times, grabbing his cigarettes from the visor. “Doesn’t have to be done now does it? Everything is so…fresh, you get me?”
Scriber let out a sigh. “Yes, but we have no time.”
“I am one second from killing him Scriber if he doesn’t tell!” Ruin yelled. “I have a right to know!”
“I’ll tell him,” Scriber said.
“Frack no!” Sam yelled.
The boy pulled Ruin’s hand and drew in his palm and Ruin jerked it away. The boy got closer and put his mouth on Ruin’s ear then whispered, “Sam is a lady.”
Chapter Eight
Sam drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, fighting the sudden terror she had of the man behind her. She could feel his fury. That kid told on her. Somehow the boy knew. The look Ruin had given her in the rearview mirror said that had to be what the boy told him. She wanted to tell him not to worry, she had no intention of being linked to him outside of friendship. Not to mention she was a guy. She’d trained long enough to be one and she was damn good at it, happy with it. She couldn’t be a woman to save her life.
The man emanating a shit load of negative energy behind her, finally unloaded. “She’s a woman?” Ruin’s tone dripped with enough disgust and acid to burn up the air particles.
“No, I’m a man,” Sam said.
“Holy hell,” Ruin said incredulous. “She actually just told the truth which has me really confused, now. Is she a man or is she a woman?”
“She’s a woman,” Scriber said.
“I may have woman parts, but I am all man. We’ll make great friends.”
“Like hell we will,” Ruin said.
“Fine, we won’t make great friends, we’ll make great enemies,” Sam muttered.
“I realize this is a stupid question,” Ruin said, but why in all disgust would you want to be a man when you’re a woman, my curiosity has just surpassed my need to kill you for lying.”
“Let’s get something straight, mister. It ain’t your business what I am,” she said. “How was I supposed to know you’d be linking on me? If I want to be a man with woman’s parts, that’s what I’ll frackin be and it isn’t your right to know it much less have issues with it.”
“I should burn the hair right off your head.”
“And I’ll punch you in your frackin little dick. I may be a man, but I do like the little bit of hair I have.”
“You are a woman you sick freak.”
“Well since you want me to be a woman—“
“I don’t want you to be a woman!”
“Good! Yeehaw,” she cried, sucking on her cigarette hard.
“She has her reasons for what she does,” Scriber said, making Sam a bit uncomfy with Scriber now. How much did he actually know and how did he come by knowing it? While he used her body?
“Look,” she pointed her cigarette at the ink dude. “I don’t know how you came by your knowledge, but I’d appreciate you respecting my privacy.”
“A fucking woman playing to be a man. And I link to that? Is this my final punishment for the unknown sins I’ve committed somewhere?” he yelled
to nobody in particular.
Sam reminded herself what he’d just endured and lost. “Look,” she began, “I told you about my past, my childhood. I told you all about my wicked little step sister and how I was made to do things. Well…” she sucked on her cigarette, “I forgot to mention that she didn’t want a sister, she wanted a brother. And so they obliged her, which was fine by me, I do make a hell of a better dude than I do a girl and it’s saved me a lot of trouble. No regrets here.”
Ruin’s snort echoed in the silence of the car, making Sam feel like the ass of a joke. “And you smoke,” he muttered like that was just the shit-icing drizzled on the vomit cake.
Sam was done trying to play nice, maybe he needed a swift kick in the ass to reset. “You don’t like it, you can suck it.”
“Un-fucking-imaginable,” Ruin whispered. “Is Sam even your name?”
“It’s Samantha,” Scriber said.
Ruin snorted and Sam sucked on her cigarette. “Nobody calls me Samantha. Ever. It’s Sam. Always.”
She glanced in the rear view mirror and her stomach jolted at finding his furious gaze there. Jesus, he was a tad intimidating.
Just when she was sure all talking was done, Ruin muttered, “What happens now, Scriber? My wife is dead, now what? What’s next on the agenda?”
“Caliber is coming.”
“Ah, the bastard,” Ruin muttered.
Sam cringed at the anger behind his words. As much as she wanted to be angry at his cruelty, she couldn’t because of this right here. God, he’d loved that woman. No, loves. She just needed to help him learn to cherish those memories. Sam had a lot of experience with that. She’d never felt such love between two people like she had between him and Isadore. Downright astonishing, really. Fairytale like. Sam was still in awe of it because to be completely honest, she had believed that kind of love didn’t really exist outside of fiction. But wow, she was so wrong. Even with her gone, she could feel the power of it.
She wasn’t sure exactly this link was or entailed that Scriber was referring to. She needed to ask so she could help him with boundaries. She was a man. A dude. A guy. Ruin had no idea exactly how devoted she was to that identity. He’d see that they could share a link and not tarnish that sacred memory of his wife. Not in a million years would she dare touch that. As far as she was concerned, the memory needed to be kept very alive. She’d show him how to do that. He’d not forget Isadore because she wouldn’t let him.
“And where are my feelings?” Ruin asked, his tone sounding tired. “Where is my grief, my regret? Do I not get to have that part of my humanity either?”
“Whatever emotions that originate with Isadore will fade as the new link forms.”
Shiiiiiit, Sam thought, sucking hard on her cigarette. “I think we can preserve that.”
“Preserve what!” Ruin barked, making Sam jump inside.
“Y-your feelings for your wife, that’s what. I can teach you how to do that. I can help you remember her…memory.”
“I don’t want her memory, I want her!” he roared.
Sam nodded, her chest constricting with his fury. “Fair enough,” Sam said.
“No, not fair!” Ruin gasped. “How dare you say fair!”
“Okay, okay, sorry, fair was a bad word.”
“Mr. Ruin?” the boy whispered.
“What!” he snapped.
“Your wife was really happy when she left.” Silence filled the car briefly. “She wasn’t happy when she first got there,” the boy clarified. “There was a lotta darkness in her eyes, I saw it. Then the darkness left and there was a pretty light.”
“Stop talking to me,” Ruin said.
****
Ruin needed to be away from Sam more than ever. It wasn’t Isadore he was feeling so there was especially no reason to stay, there was especially a reason to leave, in fact. Fury roared through him at the idea that he’d dare have similar feelings with another person. What a cruel trick. He surely wasn’t short of hate, thank the twisted powers that be, he had plenty of that right with all the other useless cruel emotions of this new link. He would not link with this person, that was for damn certain. He’d sabotage this stupid little trait he’d been given, just like they sabotaged his life, that’s what he’d do, that’s exactly what he’d do.
A sudden calm hummed through him at that idea and he latched on to the feeling. He’d show them who he was, who they’d made him by murdering his wife. He’d play along enough just to perfectly ruin every loathsome righteous plan they had for him.
He stared at the back of Sam’s head, building his negative feelings toward her. She smoked. How disgusting. Weak. Stupid. Self-destructing. And look at her. A man of all ridiculous things. Ruin turned his gaze to Scriber next. You’d think the inky bastard could have helped him in this, prevented him from linking to this…ridiculous human. If she had not pretended to be a man he’d never have linked to her, it was her lies that caused this, as well as Isadore’s God who commanded him to kill his wife, requiring him to take a deal with the devil which inconveniently removed his ability to defend against her said lies.
Once they got to the safe house, Ruin decided he’d prefer to sleep in the car. “I’ll be in later,” he said when Sam would clearly require an answer of him before leaving him alone.
Soon he was sitting in silence. Only it wasn’t silent at all, it was screaming with memories of Isadore. He didn’t know how long he was encased in his private memory lane hell when a knock startled him awake. He blinked at the small person with the cropped blonde hair and furrowed brows next to the window. It was that bitch.
“What,” he barked.”
“I need to talk to you,” she said gruffly.
He didn’t like the concerned set of the dark eyes shining at him but he especially didn’t like the white muscle shirt she wore. He clenched his eyes shut and turned away, not trusting his body. It was set to betray him now. Preserve Isadore’s memory? Sure that’s what she wanted. That’s why she was slutting herself in front of him showing off the breasts she didn’t have. Probably been plotting this from the moment she picked them up. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
She walked off, only to make her way to the other side of the car. She opened the door and threw boxes out of the vehicle then climbed in and shut the door. “Listen, I just want to reassure you that we can do this link without it being weird, okay?”
Ruin was too pissed to unhinge his jaw.
“I don’t want to link to you anymore than you do.”
He waited for the lie alarm to go off but it didn’t and for some reason it made him more angry. “Well too bad for you,” he said. “You don’t get a say in it.”
“Oh I do believe that I do. And stop being an ass with me, I’m not your enemy.”
“Why did you even stop for us?” Blatant suspicion harshened his words.
“Because…” He waited for what bullshit that might follow the quick response. “Because I saw you.”
“You saw me.” What a stupid term that was becoming.
“I saw your demon.”
“Ahhh you saw my demon, right. In the rear-view mirror. And of course you just had to stop for that because who doesn’t stop for demons? Are you fucking nuts, or what?”
“No, I’m not nuts.”
“Why did you stop?”
“I just…”
“You just couldn’t stand not picking up a demon? You like demons? You were concerned for the woman with the demon, what?”
“No, I just felt like I was supposed to, I can’t explain it.”
Ruin shook his head, astonished. “I cannot believe I’m linking to you.”
“Well I’m not happy about it either!” she spat. “I like my solitary life.”
“You planned for three people!” Ruin jabbed a finger at her safe house. “So don’t tell me that bullshit lie.”
“I can plan for people and still like my solitude. Look, I didn’t come to fight with you, I came to work a solution out.”
/>
“There is no solution!” he yelled. “You’re not my wife! I don’t want to link to you in any way.”
“Well then unlink from me!” she yelled back. “I don’t care, you think I care if you link to me? Don’t link to me, good, I don’t want links, I don’t like links, why did you even do that, hell, I was just giving you a ride, do you always link to people who give you rides? Why is this my fault, I’m not the fracking linkster here, you are, you linked to me and I’d really like it if you… got your links off of me.”
Ruin wanted to snarl at her. He contemplated all that she said, trying to make sense of the answers in his mind. Why did he link to her was a very good question, one he was sure was her fault. He pointed at her. “You said we were connected. What did you mean?”
She jerked up both hands. “I did not know how or to what extent, I can see but I don’t see all. And if I had seen this, I would not have stopped, I might have run your shitey… butt over.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Not curse, you constantly evade it, like,” Ruin rolled his hand at his mouth, “a liar. Just say what you want to say.”
“I’m not lying by trying not to swear.”
“Why are you trying not to?”
“Because I don’t want to and I can do whatever the frack I don’t want to do.”
“It’s another form of lying.”
She stared at him, head nodding barely. “So you want to fight, I see. Then let’s do it like men.” She opened the car door and got out, putting up her fists. “Come on, let’s fight.”
“You’re not a man!” he yelled, annoyed.
“Come say that to my face." She nodded eagerly with wide eyes.
When Ruin didn’t move, she stormed around the car and opened his door. He didn’t think she would but she sure as fuck decked him square in his forehead, rocking his head back.
Fury shot through him and he flew out of the car. Sam sidestepped him and kneed his midsection then hammered his back with an elbow, dropping him to his knees.