I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine.
She swallowed hard. She knew what was happening.
I know what happened to us.
Then why’d you ask?
I just wanted to confirm that you knew too, so I don’t look like a fool again. I do an incredible job of looking foolish in front of you without even realizing it until it’s too late.
She put the back of her index finger up to her mouth and quietly laughed at me. She was laughing. Progress. All it took was an incredibly frightening ‘thing’.
What’s so funny?
You. You’re funny.
Why?
Because even with our ‘thing’, our powerful, powerful ‘thing’, your ego is afraid of rejection Elliott Gray. This town still has a slight hold on you, I think.
You’ve got me pegged pretty well Jacobs.
I know.
What should we do about it then?
Talk after class?
And why not now? As far as I’m concerned, we’ve just gotten started. You’ve somethin’ better to do?
When she didn’t answer, I looked at her and she nodded toward the front of the classroom. It was Mrs. Kitt. She had been watching us and was headed our way. I turned over my book and weren’t able to talk or write for the rest of the class. Jules was definitely lowering her defenses and I was making plans to disarm her completely by the end of the week.
On our way to lunch, Jules and I walked side by side. I didn’t want to unnerve her so I stayed pretty quiet. When I didn’t say anything, I clumsily gave her the impression that I was no longer interested in talking.
“See you third period,” she said and started walking quickly toward her usual table.
I jogged to catch up with her.
“Uh, I don’t think so Jules. I just got you to start talking to me. Where do you think you’re going?”
“Well, I didn’t think you’d want to be seen eating lunch with the ‘freak’ of Bluefield High,” she laughed.
She was being sarcastic. She knew that was her reputation and probably reveled in it.
“Is there a freak here? Point them out to me? I’ve never seen one up close before.”
She rolled her eyes.
“You sure do make a lot of assumptions about me,” I said. “Why don’t you just throw out whatever preconceived notions you hold of who you think I am and consider me a blank slate. Now come on, let’s sit at your table. It’ll be easier to talk if we’re alone.”
I grabbed her hand and the surge permeated my skin and gave me the most luxurious calm pulsing through my arm and torso. We sat down and she stared at the wall away from me.
“So, Julia Jacobs, why do you sit here day after day by yourself? Don’t you have any friends at Bluefield?”
“Yikes. You’re nosy. If you must know,” she said, placing her elbow on the table and leaning her body toward me, “none of the girls here like me because of Taylor Williams’ noxious gossip and none of the boys like me because they’re afraid of me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know about the girls. Honest. I don’t listen to anything anyone says about others around here. Gossip just doesn’t appeal to me.”
“I find that................refreshing,” she mused, her eyes brightened.
She reclined again in her seat and brought her legs to the chair next to her
“There are lots of things you might find refreshing about me.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
“As far as the boys are concerned, I can see why they’d be afraid of you.”
“Ha! That was rude.”
“Are you surprised? You sulk around here. Pay little to no attention to anyone and sneer at the ones who even attempt to talk to you.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s a matter of self preservation. You think I enjoy having to be ‘put up’ with? What would you know about it anyway? You’re just as much of a freak, or whatever their definition of a freak is, as I am. Yet, since you’re the king of their football team they look right past it. I know you listen to all the same music I do. I know that you secretly think my clothing is kind of cool.” She slid her hands down her waist. “I have a pretty good feeling that you can’t stand most of your lemming friends and I’m also willing to bet you don’t really care what they think.”
“Oh yeah? And what makes you think I don’t care what they think? They are my friends after all.”
“Because you’re sitting at this table while your friends whisper and stare.” She threw her eyes in the direction of the team table. “If you cared so much, you wouldn’t be here at all. You’re perfectly aware of the trouble I’m going to cause you by being here right now. Still, here you are.”
She had hit the nail on the head. I didn’t care. I only cared, selfishly I admit, for my ownreputation because I was a teenager and hopelessly shallow in the matters of position within the young community. However difficult it was to keep up the false pretense of our town’s expectations of me, I knew too well, as Jules did, the load of being the town’s black sheep. I chose the former because it seemed easier.
“Truthfully Elliott Gray? I’m confident you’re as sick of this place as I am but you just quite haven’t figured out how to let it go. You’re too afraid of losing the security of your popularity that you’d rather not risk being unique and possibly opening yourself up to new and amazing things. You’re too afraid to be yourself and that’s just pathetic to me. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
She gathered her bag and made her way toward the door leaving me stunned by the sudden turn of events. My, my, my! Who does Julia Jacobs thinks she is? I immediately stood to chase after her. I wasn’t about to give her the last word.
Outside of the cafeteria I caught her arm and pressed her back against a locker. She looked at me with shocked eyes as the electricity clung and snapped against the lockers around us. I kept my hand on her arm to help drive the point home.
“Who do you think you are passing a judgment like that on me? You don’t know me. You’ve never bothered to find out if I was the same Elliott or not. You don’t like to be judged by your appearance or actions and yet look at the massive contradiction that is you judging me by mine! I was trying to get to know you again Jules. I wanted to know more about you and not because I had ulterior motives but because I was sincerely interested in you. You should know this. This” I said gesturing with my free hand around us, “should be proof enough.”
I let go of her arm and we both relaxed from the release of the lit tension. She stared seriously into my eyes.
“I’m.....I’m sorry Elliott. You’re right. I, I did judge you unfairly.”
“Well, good,” I said, running my fingers through my hair, “and I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I was anything like the idiots just beyond those doors.”
She smiled and sniffed.
“So?” I asked.
“So, I think that maybe you should call me tonight.”
“Seriously? That would be really nice.”
“Alright. Here.”
She grabbed my hand and took a pen from the inside pocket of her bag. She wrote her number on my palm then looked up at me and smiled before releasing our grip.
“If this were a movie, this would be where we break away from one another and the gooey music would be cued, but....” I said.
“But we still have like twenty minutes of lunch together? And third period next?”
I moved next to Jules at the lockers. We slid to the linoleum floor in unison.
We ate and passed back and forth simple questions like, what’s your favorite color? Things like that. We had things in common that didn’t really matter much on paper but, to me, were an indication of the things to come.
Also, we shared birthdays. I had forgotten about that. Growing up we were always aware that we’d have to plan our parties around the other until, that is, Jules no longer threw them. It didn’t seem that significant then but intimid
ated me now. I wondered what it meant. Feel like adding weirder to the already weird? Our birth date was February, 29th, leap year.
We talked music, food, movies, books and when they bell rang, much, much too soon, we headed for third period. Without even skin contact, I could tell her heart was lighter and that mine beat in rhythm with hers.
That night, I asked my mom if I could borrow her cell. I borrowed it all the time to talk privately in my room because Maddy had a tendency to get on the other line and eavesdrop, so my mom thought nothing of it. I picked up the phone and ran up the creaky kitchen wooden stairs to my room. My hand shook as I nervously dialed the number written on my hand. Three rings. Her dad answered.
“Hello? Jacobs’ residence.”
“Hello? Mr. Jacobs? This is Elliott Gray. May I speak with Jule, uh, Julia please?”
“Just a moment.”
The silent wait was torturous. My bouncing knee would have kept time with a hummingbird’s wings.
“Hello?”
“Hello? Just hello?”
“Hi Elliott.”
“Jules.”
She didn’t correct her name. My heart swelled.
“Can you talk?” I asked.
“Just a sec,” she said and laid her hand over the receiver before continuing, “Pop, please? I’m beggin’ you.” There was a ruffling sound and a chair scooting backward. “Thank you! I hereby retract calling your love for ‘Tiny Dancer’ lame!”
She yelled the last part then laughed.
“Okay Gray. It’s not true, by the way. I love that song, especially after ‘Almost Famous’, but if I let him know that, he’d never let me live it down.”
“You’re funny Jules.”
“Nah. So, did you get all your homework done?”
“What are you my mother?” I teased.
“Um, no. That would be gross.”
I laughed.
“Why would that be gross? My actual mother doesn’t feel that way. At least, I don’t think she does.”
“Because that would mean we’d have to change your name to Oedipus and mine to Jocasta.”
“Yup, that would be gross. Those names are hideous.”
“Hardy, har, har.”
“We wouldn’t have to change names, just yet, anyway. We’d have to marry first, then have children who also happen to be my siblings,” I said.
“You’re right. What was a I thinking?......Uh, this conversation has taken a turn down ‘I never thought I’d talk about something like this’ lane. Serious change of subject por favor?”
“Hey, you brought it up Freud,” I said, both of us laughing. “How about we start over by you telling me something about yourself that no one else knows.”
“Um, I have nothing to tell,” she said.
“Um? You hesitated. Besides, everyone has secrets. Are you afraid to tell me?”
“Well, I’ve got one but I’d never tell it, especially not to you.”
“Come on! I’ve got to know now. Would it help if I told you one about me first? Then, would you tell?”
“Nope.”
“Oh come on Jules! Now that you’ve piqued my interest you’re just going to leave me dangling on your hook? That’s some cruel bait there Jules.”
“Alright, fine but if you so much as think of letting it pass your own lips, even on your death bed, you’re a dead man Gray.”
“If I’m already on my death bed you can’t very well threaten me with death, can you? What would be my motivation to keep quiet?”
“Gray.”
“Okay, scouts honor. You can’t see it but I’m crossing my heart and hoping to die.”
“Good.”
I waited.
“No, baby. You’ve got to go first!” She said laughing.
“Alright, alright, alright.” I sighed loudly, trying to think.
“Okay. Well, if I had my druthers I’d rather stay home on Friday nights and watch seventies era BBC comedies.”
Complete silence.
“Are you kidding me? That’s your big secret? My God Elliott! That’s almost boasting. There’s no way I’m gonna’ tell mine now! Especially since you used a word like ‘druthers’.”
“Oh come on Jules! I just can’t think of anything juicy right now. Please Jules!”
“No sir. No way. Not after a revealing bit of information like that. How could I possibly follow the scandal that is nineteen seventies era British television? Gimme’ a break!” She laughed. “I mean, if you had said something like, ‘On Friday nights I’d rather lounge around and watch old BBC reruns on PBS while I switch the heads on my sister’s Barbie dolls. Now, that would have been something. I could have worked with that but no, I would just humiliate myself now.”
“Switch the heads on my sister’s Barbie dolls?”
She laughed.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked. “Alright, hold on. Let me think........Okay. Okay, I think I’ve got one. Okay, don’t tell anyone but once a month, I volunteer at Shady Pine’s retirement community and play cards and games with the older residents who don’t have much family.”
I think I heard a pin drop.
“Anyway,” I continued, “I have to admit it’s one of my favorite things to do.”
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
“Seriously Gray? Seriously! ‘Don’t tell anyone’,” she mocked, “‘but I’m a super nice person who likes to spend time with old people....Tee hee!’ My God Gray! Just sit tight. Whew! I’ve got to tell you my secret just to explain to you what a secret truly is.”
I laughed.
“Alright,” she sighed, “over the summer I drove Carmen down to....”
“Who’s Carmen?” I interrupted.
“Oh, right. Carmen is my Karmann Ghia.”
“Oh,” I chuckled.
“Anyway, over the summer I drove Carmen to the creek, near the rock bridge, that we used to fish for tadpoles in. Remember it?”
“Yeah, I remember. The shallow pool?”
“Yeah. So, I got out and trekked the little quarter mile to the creek and enjoyed the beautiful nature of it all. Well, it was July and it was getting kind of hot and I was dying to jump in but didn’t want to get my clothes wet.” I shifted uncomfortably in my computer chair. “So, I looked around to ensure that no one was there. I mean, it is in the middle of nowhere and you and I are the only two people in the world that I knew of who had any idea where it was so I took off my cut-off’s and my tank top and left them with my flip flops on that tree stump that got hit by lightning when we were kids at the edge of the creek. Anyway, so I dove in. I was having a marvelous time just swimming and enjoying the cool water but when I got out and started for the stump where my clothes were, they weren’t there. I started to worry that someone had seen me and I kind of began to panic until I remembered that I had left half a candy bar in my shorts’ pocket. That’s when I noticed the raccoon tracks trailing away from the scene of its crime.”
“What’d you do?” I said, swallowing hard.
“The only thing I could do. I put on my flip flops and walked back to Carmen in my underwear.”
I laughed so hard.
“How did you drive through town without people noticing?”
“Well, when I got back to the car I remembered I had an old hand towel from my Tribal dance class in the back so I draped it over my chest and practically sped through town. I say, practically sped because I didn’t want to risk embarrassing myself or your Uncle Danny.”
My Uncle Danny was the town’s sheriff.
“Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious.”
“Well then came the hard part.”
“The hard part?”
“Yeah, so I made it home right? My parents weren’t there and I had no way of calling for help. Plus, go figure, I only had one key and it was for the front door, meaning the back wasn’t an option. I parked the car as close to the house as possible to avoid exposure and studied the neighborhood for a second. I didn’t notice
anyone or anything so I rushed out and bolted up my porch to the front door. Just then, my neighbor, Sawyer Tuttle,” She paused.”Do you know him? He’s in our Chemistry class.”
“Yeah,” I laughed, “I know him. I sit next to him in class.”
“Oh, anyway, Sawyer comes sauntering around to the front of his house from the side and catches me in all of my underwear glory. Well, there was no sense in hiding because he’d already seen everything. Plus, like a deer in headlights, the kid just stared with his mouth open. He didn’t even bother turning around. So, I winked at him and finally opened the door.” She took a deep breath. “And that’s my secret. Well, mine and Sawyer’s secret. Well, mine, Sawyer’s and that naughty raccoon’s secret.”
“And mine,” I threw in.
“Yes, our secret.”
No wonder Tut stared at Jules the way he did. I couldn’t blame him but that didn’t change the fact that I still wanted to bash his face in.
“You know, I said something that no one else knew. Sawyer knew.”
“Whoa buddy! It counts. Trust me. It counts.”
We both laughed.
“You torture Sawyer Tuttle, you know.”
“No I don’t! I’ve barely said a word to him since. I even wave to him now and again so he knows I’m not angry at him.”
“Even making eye contact with him is torturing him Jules. He’s seen you in your underwear. I’m pretty sure that’s all he ever thinks about when he’s around you.”
“No!” She said. I could almost hear it click in her head. “Wait. Seriously? It was so long ago. I’m sure he barely remembers it.”
“Trust me baby doll. He remembers.”
“Well, crap. Should I say something to him?”
“No,” I laughed, “not unless you want him to keep obsessing about you. No, the best thing for you to do is wear a large bulky jacket to Chemistry.”
More laughing. Poor Tut. Poor, can’t wait to punch him in the face, Tut.
The next day, I saw Jules at lunch and we picked up where our two hour phone conversation left off. We reminded ourselves of all the little things we did together growing up. I had forgotten what great partners in crime we had once been and definitely felt closer to her again. All it took was a simple phone call. It was like time had never passed us by.