On a whim, I angle my head upwards and unexpectedly, my lips brush against his. His entire body tightens, hardens like concrete, and I pause, leaving my lips barely grazing his, allowing it to register with my body. My heart races rapidly, begging for me to kiss him, but my stomach twists painfully, desperately pleading with me not to start something I can’t finish.
“Go to sleep,” he utters against my lips. “This is not what you want tonight.”
“Isn’t it?” I ask, wondering how he can tell. I don’t think it is… my head swims and my body aches, but I’m confused. Lying in here in bed with the man that saved me—that killed for me—is confusing my system.
He brushes a finger along my side, from the base of my rib to my hip, and my entire body tightens painfully. Goosebumps that seem almost excruciating erupt over every inch of my skin and silent tears well in my eyes.
“No,” he says, kissing me ever so softly. “It isn’t.”
He pulls his body away from me and turns around giving me his back. I take note of the way my body relaxes, almost sighs, as it realises it doesn’t have to give him anything and I fight a smile. There he goes again, assuring me that he’s different. That he’s not selfish or out to hurt me. He killed for me. I have his unwavering loyalty, his trust, his protection and maybe, I even have a small piece of his heart, too.
∞
(A few short weeks later)
Weeks pass and we make no move to hurt his father, in fact, we’ve barely spoken of it since the night Michael pressed the barrel of his gun to my temple. Kade has forbid me to leave his room at any time unaccompanied by him. If he leaves without me, he locks the door from the outside and I’m stuck, locked up in the massive room all by myself. It gets a little lonely… especially when he doesn’t come back until well into the night. In those moments, when I hear the door unlock and see him step in, it highlights my entire day. I’m not sure I like the way butterflies run rampant in my stomach when he comes back, or the way my heart beats at a quicker pace, but it happens anyway.
Sometimes we shower together and all of the time we cuddle until we fall to sleep. We don’t talk about it. He refuses to discuss anything that hints to any emotion or memory and I’m content with that for now. He has yet to touch me again like he did the day he blindfolded me and I wake up in the middle of the night, finding myself craving it, craving his touch, but he refuses to put his hands on me. It’s me that usually pushes him for more, desperately wanting him to do something to me, anything, but he never does. He’ll kiss me until my lips swell, until I’m grinding my hips into him, but he won’t take it further. God, I want him to. I want him to so badly. As stupid as it sounds, there’s no one I trust more in this world than him.
This morning, Kade left in a huff and came back just as quick. I sit on the couch, trying hard to ignore him as he storms around the room, cursing under his breath and raking his fingers through his hair.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, knowing better.
Kade pauses and peers at me from underneath his brow. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Michael found out about the mine and he’s pissed. He’s going to pull me as supervisor and second in charge and give the role to Vince.”
I lift myself off the couch and step closer to Kade. “That’s not fair… did you tell him you were going to fix it?”
He shakes his head. “I can’t tell him that. He can’t know I was going to use you to purchase a mine off of Albert. It’ll embarrass him, make things worse.”
I make my way across the room to Kade, who stands by his desk. “What do we do?”
His black irises search mine, flicking between the two. “We have to kill him… before he goes back to the city to make the changes next week.”
My heart stops beating. Kill him? We’re actually going through with that? “It’s been so long since we’ve spoken about it… I assumed you didn’t want to do it anymore.”
“I never change my mind,” he states and I swallow hard.
“Okay… how do you want to do it?”
“You’ll distract him, like you would Albert, and I’ll kill him.”
My stomach churns and rolls, forcing my hands to clench into fists. He wants me to seduce his father, distract him so he can kill him?
“He will see me coming, Nine. I never allow myself to be alone in a room with him and he knows it. If I try, he’ll see right through me. I need you to get him alone in his bedroom.”
“Why would you make me do that? I thought we—”
“You thought we what?” he snaps, daring me to continue. Problem is, I don’t even know what I was going to say. I thought we had an understanding? I thought we were something? I shake my head, hating the way my shoulders slump. “You said you’d help me.”
“And I will, I just thought those kinds of requests were behind us… after everything that has happened.”
“Regardless of what has happened, you are still my Unfortunate.”
“Unfortunate?” I can’t help the offended gust of air that spills from my mouth. “You are an assh—”
He snatches my face in one quick hand and I wince at the pressure as he draws it to his, digging his fingers into my cheeks. His smell flows over me and my knees wobble… God. “If you let the rest of that word roll of your tongue, you’re going to regret it.” I clench my jaw and cringe as Kade’s fingers dig in. “You keep expecting me to be sweet and kind, but I’ve never been either of those things in my life. You’re lucky I don’t bend you over my desk and fuck you like the meaningless possession you are.”
I flinch at his fallacious words and watch as his eyes drop to my mouth and his lips part as a heavy breath flows through them.
“Why haven’t you?” I ask, throwing caution to the wind. He cringes imperceptibly. “Why haven’t you hurt me? Taken me against my will?”
He ponders my question, his face serious and hard. “Because I—”
“Because you care?” I challenge him. “Because I’m not just the meaningless possession you believe I am?”
“Don’t be so imprudent, Unfortunate, it might come back and bite you on the ass.”
“Don’t be so witless, Fortunate.” I slap his hand away, playing on deadly ground now. Relief radiates through my jaw. “You’re not as scary as you want people to believe. You want to threaten me? To hurt me? You want to rip off my clothes and fuck me all over your room while I cry and beg you to stop? Do it, because if you’re going to threaten me and it’s going to happen anyway, why drag on my impending doom? The day makes no difference to me.”
Kade snaps forward, gripping my hips with devastating force and crushing me to his body. He forcefully brushes all of his paperwork and pens off of the desk and onto the floor before lifting me and dropping me roughly against the hard surface.
“You want to play a game? You want to test me?” He forces my thighs open with his knee and panic instantly bubbles in my chest.
“Stop!” I demand, as his hands claw at the edge of my dress and he forces the fabric further up my thighs. “Kade, stop!”
I’m in the deep end now and it’s all because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. “You want to see how evil I really am? You want me to prove it to you?”
He drops his weight on me, pinning me firmly against the wood. His hard length presses right into the apex of my thighs and tingles flare throughout my body, almost reducing me to jelly. I’m paralysed… and underneath the fear, tingles roar through my body and I like it. His fingers dig into my hair and tighten, making me wince as he tugs my head back.
“You think I’m nice enough not to fuck your tight, virgin cunt until it bleeds for me? Think again, Unfortunate, and make no mistake. You mean nothing to me. I protect you because you wear my crest. You belong to me.”
His eyes flare, daring me to speak again. I’ve already come this far and although he’s giving me a way out of this, I can’t take it. Here I am, pinned under his incredibly hard body, totally helpless... and yet, I’ve never felt so in con
trol in my life. I love that I made him mad. I love that I, Nine, using only the words of my mouth, have pissed off a Fortunate. The feeling is addicting—it elates me and I can’t stop now.
“You killed for me.”
“For respect. I killed in honour of my own name.”
“You held me while I cried, you let me sleep in your bed, and you can’t handle the thought of someone else touching me or telling me what to do.”
He shakes his head—the perfect picture of indifference. “Stupid girl.” His insult rolls off my newly thick skin. He’s out of his mind if he thinks his ‘old Kade’ behaviour is going to drag me back to the beginning. We’ve passed that point. Fortunate or not, he’d never hurt me.
“You see me only for yourself.”
His dark irises flare, seeming more dark brown than black. “I see you as a mere toy I possess.”
My eyes drop to his lips and he runs his tongue over it slowly—the purpose to moisten them or moisten me, I have no idea.
“And yet you refuse to use it for its only purpose.”
Keeping my hands against the wood and not on his body, I push my head forward, crushing my lips to his. I feel his body tense against mine, as he no doubt tries to make sense of my actions. I run my tongue along his bottom lip and a growl emanates deep in his chest. He kisses me back with wild abandon and I open my mouth to him. Not a second later, I feel his fingers glide quickly under my dress and up my thigh, making me quiver. They slow as they reach the top, almost hesitantly, and I bite down on his bottom lip, causing him to gasp into my mouth. His fingers press against my centre and I shudder as one slips between my lips and touches a small, electrifying spot. I moan loudly, subconsciously thrusting my hips into his finger.
“You’re so goddamn wet I could slip right in,” Kade groans against my lips. “Fuck, I want to slip inside and fuck you until you dissolve into nothing.”
Oh, I want this… I want him. He kisses me roughly, fucking my tongue with his. A shiver rips down my spine as he begins to circle my little bundle of nerves. My stomach twists and I begin to pant and moan every time our lips separate for air.
“Touch me,” he demands against my lips and I falter with my kiss. How? How do I touch him? Is there a certain way I’m supposed to do it? Kade growls impatiently, lowering his mouth to my neck. “Put your fucking hands on me.”
His finger strokes me ruthlessly, sending an electrifying pulse through my body and I rake my fingers through his hair, drawing him even closer to me. His hair is soft, feeling exactly how I imagined it.
“Oh, god!” Something sinister builds and builds in my stomach, threatening to spill over and crush my organs. “Wait. Wait!” I gasp, not ready for what’s about to hit me. “Stop.”
I hear him chuckle darkly under his breath and I bite my lip hard enough to draw blood. Kade slips the very tip of his finger into me and my breath hitches at the sudden friction and pressure. My back arches and my entire body clenches as I scream out and waves of ecstasy roll over me. Kade crushes his mouth to mine as vibrations shake my body and I grind my hips into him, unashamed by my outburst, until the intense pulses cease to exist. When he pulls away, his breath hits my face in heavy bursts and I can’t help a lazy smile as I glance up at him through heavy lids.
“You don’t fear me anymore…” A statement, not a question.
“No,” I reply, uncurling my fingers from his hair. I smooth out his jacket and allow my fingers to brush along his rough jaw, speckled with shadow. “Not anymore.”
“Why?” He releases me, bringing his hand to rest on my thighs. He’s frustrated. I can hear it in his tone—deep and gruff.
My smile fades. Why don’t I fear him? I don’t even know the answer to that. In the beginning, he was the most terrifying thing in my life, but somewhere along the line, the fear melted away and we’re… I don’t know… friends, maybe.
“You saved me,” I utter, avoiding his stare. “I trust you.”
Though our conversation has flowed into casual territory, his length still presses hard into my thigh. I flick my gaze to his and heat filters into my cheeks as his dark, stormy irises study my face.
“If you trust me, you’ll do this for me.”
He knows I’ll do it and he knows I don’t have a choice. I straighten my posture, trying desperately to remain unaffected by Kade, who stands dominantly between my legs. “I’ll do it, but you have to kill him before it goes too far. I don’t want to have sex with anyone…” I pause because that’s not entirely true. “Unless it’s y—”
His fingers dig into my thighs. “Don’t say it.”
I cover his hands with mine. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want you to make this harder than it already is.”
I frown. “Harder than it already is?”
Peering up at me from underneath his brow, his face betrays no softness. “You think I don’t think about it? You think when I sleep on my hands most nights it’s for fun? No. I struggle with myself every day when it comes to you.” He exhales slightly, slumping his shoulders ever so subtly. “I am different to the rest and they know it, too. I’m watched all of the time and they’re just waiting for me to fuck up. I almost have. If this becomes more than a normal Fortunate/Unfortunate relationship and we’re caught… neither of us is coming out of this alive.”
I angle my head. Did I not just have an orgasm by his hand? “But it already has, hasn’t it? Become more than a normal relationship?”
I want him to admit it. I want him to admit that over the past few weeks he has developed feelings for me, like I have for him. Mine started the day after he saved me from the Black House. In the morning, we had breakfast together and neither of us said a thing. Then he left, locking me in his room until nightfall. When he came back, he switched off my lamp and climbed into bed. That was enough for me. In those dark nights, all I had was him. He comforted me, soothed me back into my own skin by wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. In those weeks, he didn’t have to say much, but then again, actions have always spoken louder.
He grits his teeth and I see his perfect jaw tighten. “What exactly are you fishing for? A declaration of feelings? Of love? So I made you come,” he states plainly with a shrug of his shoulders. “Don’t be so naïve. Orgasms are a specialty of mine that I’m more than happy to give away.”
“Even though you’re not allowed to,” I point out. A selfless act, really. “Tell me, how many Unfortunates have you made come by your hands?”
“Don’t play this game with me.”
“How many?” I ask again, more forceful this time.
When he allows it I like to push him, and there’s something that tells me he likes it when I push. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about arguing with someone who’s supposed to be in ‘power’ that electrifies every cell in my body. Dominating a Fortunate and making them uncomfortable is every Unfortunate’s wet dream.
“One.”
I manage to keep my lips from curling victoriously. “One.”
Exactly what I thought.
He smirks. “You’re reading into it. In this world, you have to watch who you fraternise with. You don’t want anyone to slip up and spill all of your secrets, so yes, only one. One that I trust will not share it with anyone else.”
“I wouldn’t,” I say with absolute confidence.
In this house, Kade is the only Fortunate I’m loyal to, everyone else can go to hell.
“I’ve answered your intrusive questions and sated your annoying curiosity. Are you finished?”
My fingers twitch around his. “For now.”
Kade’s irises flare and the corner of his lips pull further. “Good, now we can get back to work.”
He pulls away from me and straightens his thick, black tie. While he adjusts his clothes, I adjust mine and slip off of his desk. My bare feet press into sheets of paper and pens. Out of instinct, I reach down to tidy them up.
“Leave them,” Kade orders. “We’ve
got other things we need to deal with.”
I straighten my posture, placing my hands on my hips. “Like what?”
With a tiny breathtaking smile, he slips his hands into the pockets of his pants. “Take off my clothes and I’ll show you.”
I feel my brows pull in, furrowing tightly. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Take off my clothes,” he drawls. “And I’ll show you.”
“Is-is this a joke?” I wonder aloud as I step closer to him.
He exhales in annoyance and angles his head. The way he looks at me from such an adorable angle kicks the rate of my pulse up a notch. “Keep wasting my time and you’re going to wish it was.”
I suck in a breath and stroll towards him. Naturally, I reach for his tie and, naturally, he swats me away before I even see it coming.
“The jacket is first,” he tells me in a dark, frustrated tone as I hiss and cradle my hand to my chest.
“You know this whole thing would go a lot smoother if you just told me what you wanted me to do instead of slapping me away whenever I try.”
“Are you even trying?”
“Yes!” I shout and when his eyes darken like coal, I wish I could take it back.
“So you’re telling me you don’t have a single seductive bone in your tight little body? Not even one?”
I shrug. “I don’t know… but if I do, let me figure it out on my own. You and your slapping isn’t helping.”
“You want to do this on your own? Without any coaching?”
I almost scoff. Coaching, my ass. I think he looks for excuses to piss me off and turn my skin pink. “Yes.”
Abruptly, he reaches out for my waist and tugs me into him. I’m still in his grasp as his brooding eyes scan my face. “Good luck with that. You do whatever you have to do to distract my father.” He drags an index finger over my bottom lip and I bite the inside of my cheek as his warm breath skitters across my face. “But if these lips touch his, I’ll kill you both,” he adds in a whisper and I almost smile.
“Death threats over a kiss? I thought you said you had no feelings for me.”