“What are you doing?” He asks the question with caution… like I’m a venomous animal.
I want to tell him Vince put me up to this, that he threatened me with rape if I don’t go through with it. Instead, I angle my head and quirk my lips.
“I’m here for you, Master Kade… if you’ll have me.”
He straightens his posture and turns his large body in my direction. His movements are robotic, as if he’s being controlled only by the flesh in his pants, not his brain. He stalks toward me—each footstep seemingly more predatory than the last. He stops when his knees hit the side of his bed and he waits, staring at me with lusty, hooded eyes. My heart is in my throat, threatening to beat its way into my mouth as I rise up off my heels and inch closer to him.
“Will you have me?” I whisper. I let my hands press against his hard chest and trail along the crisp fabric to his shoulders. My hands move with skill in order to avoid an unthinkable punishment. Without permission, I kiss Kade’s bottom lip and he makes no move to push it further. Hope blooms in my chest. Please, dismiss me.
“This is what you want?” he asks against my mouth. No.
I pull back and see the suspicion in his eyes. No. My eyes begin to swim and I can’t see as they become misty. No. I quickly blink back tears, keeping my hands on Kade.
“Yes.”
No.
In one swift rough move, he cups me between my legs, letting a finger slip between my creases. I gasp and instinctively squeeze my legs shut as my entire body goes rigid. I don’t like this.
“You’re lying,” he growls.
He removes his hand and shoves me backwards. As I fall, he dives onto the bed and his hard, heavy body pins me to the mattress. I can’t move. I pant for air and struggle against him, trying desperately to break free. Panic builds. It restricts my chest and blurs my vision. I thrash my head from side to side, but it does nothing to help. I can barely wiggle my toes!
“Please,” I beg, my voice sounding far away. “I don’t like—I can’t breathe—I can’t move!”
His large hand grabs my face, keeping it in one place. “That’s the point.”
My throat fills with heavy stones and I choke on a sob. Hot tears burn down the side of my face and into my hair. I squeeze my eyes shut, unwilling to look into the black ones above me. I try to inhale and barely fill a quarter of a lung. Panic kicks in again, multiplying tenfold.
“I can’t breathe! Kaden, please!”
His body stiffens against mine and his hand tightens on my face. I wince and push my head into the bed to get away from the pain.
“What’d you call me?”
A new panic rises in me, no, forget panic, fear rises in me, growing exponentially every second his hate-filled expression bores down on me.
“I’m sorry,” I squeeze out, my lungs burning. “I didn’t mean to call you Kaden—”
He adds more pressure to his grip and I inhale sharply.
“You’re getting too comfortable here, Unfortunate.” He spits the word and I feel specks of saliva hit my face. “Know your fucking place.”
I nod as much as I can with his intense grip.
“Why are you in my room?”
“I wanted to—”
“I had to force you to get on your knees earlier, so don’t you dare tell me you’ve come here to fuck.”
My bottom lips quivers. I can feel it shaking my whole chin, making my teeth click together. “Please, don’t make me say it.”
He makes no movement, only watches me with his intense expression. It’s his expression that confirms I’m on my own out here. If I don’t tell Kade, who knows what he’ll do to me. If I do tell Kade, Vince has already told me what he’s going to do. It’s a lose-lose situation. I sniffle.
“Vince…”
Kade’s face contorts into a furious scowl and I hate that something so ugly looks so beautiful on him.
“Vince is going to hurt me if I don’t—if we don’t…” I drag in a shaky, half-assed inhale. “I’m in trouble, Kade, I need your help.”
He doesn’t bat an eyelid at my neglect to call him master. I chose not to use it on purpose. In this moment, I’m not a slave asking her master for help. I’m a human being, asking another human being for help. “Please?”
“What happened?” Kade’s voice is low and dangerous, laced with the kind of dark tone that puts my hairs on their ends.
I tell him everything. I tell him every single thing I did after leaving him at the party. I tell him every detail—from the feel of the grass to the colour of Vince’s eyes.
Which brings us to now.
Kade rolls off me and air floods my lungs. I drag in a deep inhale and try to steady my racing heart as Kade sits on the edge of the bed. I watch cautiously, not moving from my position.
“Stay here the night.” He exhales, raking his fingers through his short, jet black hair and pushing himself to his feet. “Get in bed.”
I let my stare follow Kade as he saunters across the large room to his oak desk. He flicks on a bright lamp and shrugs out of his coal black jacket before tossing it over the back of his chair.
“In… in your bed?”
He files through a stack of paper on his desk and turns on a glass screen. “Do you see another bed in here?” he asks, his voice bored and detached.
I shake my head. “No, I guess not.”
He looks at me from under his brow. It’s a look that ignites something dark along my spine.
“Get in bed, Nine.”
I don’t know what it is, but when Kade refers to me as Nine, I feel like there’s a teeny tiny chance he sees me as an equal human being, not an Unfortunate lesser to him. Complying, I push myself under his heavy blanket. On the bed, I feel smaller than I usually do. Like the mattress is going to swallow me up any second.
I watch as he lowers himself into his seat and pulls himself closer to the desk. He stares at his screen, touching it with his fingers and writing things down onto a sheet beside him. He’s focused, and when he’s focused, his intensity seems to multiply tenfold.
“Didn’t they teach you not to stare?”
As he speaks, his eyes never leave his screen. My stomach jolts into my throat and I avert my eyes.
“Yes, sorry.”
He sighs and leans back in his chair. My body begins to tremble, shaking softly against the warming mattress. I hope I didn’t pull him from whatever he was doing. What if he sends me away? What if he tells me to go back to my room and Vince is there waiting for me? Panic begins to bubble…
“You’re not tired?” Kade asks.
I shake my head, and as he reaches up to loosen his tie, I regret ever looking at him. His lips curve into a breathtaking smile. Who would’ve thought he’s capable of such a positive expression? I hate that his smile stirs something in my chest… he has the loveliest smile I’ve ever seen, with beautiful, straight white teeth to match.
“Relax,” he says. “I’m not going to touch you.”
Despite his words, I regard him curiously. All he’s done since I arrived is touch me.
“You don’t want to touch me?” I clarify, and he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
“Listen carefully, Unfortunate. I said I’m not going to touch you, not I don’t want to touch you.”
So he wants to? Instinctively, I squeeze the blankets tighter against me. Not that it’d do anything to keep him away if he really wanted me.
“Where will you sleep?” I ask, inching the blankets higher. I’m naked, so I pray it’s not here with me.
He chuckles, actually chuckles, and the sound is almost alien to me. “I’ll sleep in my bed.”
Dread burrows in painful tendrils through my stomach. I’ve never shared a bed with anyone before, or slept naked, or slept naked with someone. “But—”
He runs his hands over his face, suddenly looking exhausted and resigned. “Are you going to talk all night or can I actually get some work done?”
“Sorry,” I a
pologise again and roll onto my side. I pull the blankets up and peer over the very edge. There’s so much blanket and he’s so far away, there’s no way he can see me watching. I don’t know why I watch him… I guess I’m just trying to figure him out. Kade makes no move to go back to his computer. Instead, he watches the bed and rakes his teeth over his bottom lip, as if in thought, deep thought.
“Master Kade?” I mutter, unable to stop myself. I can feel my curiosity rearing its head. It wants to know about Kade’s leaf collection. I never thought about collecting things like that… I should have. It would’ve kept me busy. Who knows, it might’ve even made me happy. The yard at the Unfortunate camp was filled with lots of random leaves. I didn’t know that someone, at one stage in their life, held something as small as a leaf to value. I saw it as a nuisance, a nuisance that covered the mud I liked to draw in.
He doesn’t answer and I don’t know if I should take it as an order to shut up, or if he’s letting me talk. Either way, I thread my fingers together and proceed at my own risk. “Can you tell me about your leaf collection?”
I want to know what it feels like to collect something. How many different types of leaves are there? How many did he have? Different shapes? What was his favourite shape?
He reaches across his desk and shuts off the lamp, throwing the room into semi-darkness. The only light came from his screen and that of the dwindling fire. I close my eyes. I guess he doesn’t want to talk. I was told it’s important to know your Fortunate, but I assume Kade is more comfortable being strangers. That’s fine with me, too. I’ve lived in a room with a lot of people for years and years, and to this day, I still don’t know their names. With my eyes still shut, I notice the room darkens again and then hear a faint sizzle as the fire is extinguished. My steady heart begins to beat a little faster, forcing blood through my veins quicker than normal as I hear him kick off his shoes and the other side of the bed dips. My mouth and throat dry up, and as subtly as I can, I shift backwards, moving as close to the edge as possible. To my surprise, Master Kade lies on top of the blankets and makes no move to touch me. Regardless, I don’t dare let myself relax. I’m in a potentially dangerous situation.
“You want to talk about my leaf collection?” he mutters, shifting on the bed. “I shouldn’t even tell you. As an Unfortunate, you shouldn’t soak up conversations. Your curiosity can get you killed.”
I want to ask him why he lets me get away with it. Why does he ignore it when I don’t refer to him as ‘master’ or when I mutter and mumble? Why?
“It’s the last question I’ll ever ask, I promise, I just… I just want to know what it’s like to have something—a collection, a hobby.
He exhales and shifts again, rolling onto his side. “As you can imagine, my collection didn’t last very long. It turns out leaves die when they’re not connected to a tree.”
I smile, catch myself smiling and then frown. It feels wrong. Every smile for him is an insult to my people.
“You stopped collecting? Why?”
“I thought that was your last question?”
I press my finger to my lips. After a short while he swears under his breath and blows air from his cheeks. “I’m not the same boy I used to be. I don’t care for leaves, decorations, flowers—anything.”
“What do you care about?”
I know I told him I wouldn’t ask any more questions, but I’m on a roll. He’s answering everything. I’m pushing my luck, I know that, but I can’t help myself. To hear about hobbies of any kind is interesting. I’ve never had one.
“I care about power and money. I care about control and routine… those are the only things that matter.”
To me, those are the only things that don’t matter.
“Hypothetically,” he mutters, and against his pillow, I hear him shake his head. “If you could care about something, what would it be?”
I open my mouth and then stop. I’ve never been asked a personal question before. I’ve never been asked what my favourite colour is or whether I like to wear my hair up or down, nothing. It occurs to me, in this moment, that I have no idea. I’ve never spoken about myself because someone else is genuinely interested. He waits patiently for me to answer and for a brief second, I wonder if he’s playing a game with me. Is this a trap?
“I don’t know…” I whisper, afraid someone else will hear. “I’d care about my family, if I had one. I’d care about nature and music—and reading. I would care about humanity.”
In the darkness, I can feel him watching me. I’m staring back, too, and I’m thankful he can’t see.
He clears his throat and returns to his back. “That’s the difference between Fortunates and Unfortunates. That’s why the strong prosper. Caring for things gives others access to your soul. Do you know what someone could do to you if they knew you inside and out? They could destroy you. Unfortunates are weak… and in this world, the weak suffer.”
“Weak…” I repeat, breathing and blinking quicker to stop sudden tears from restricting my throat. “Right.”
I draw my knees in, curling up into a ball in Kade’s bed. I’m not sure how long I stay like this, but I do know it gives me some semblance of comfort.
“Perhaps I moved too fast earlier,” he admits. “Tomorrow we’ll work on something a little more your speed.”
“Yes, Master Kade,” I say and he pushes himself off of the bed.
I want to ask him where he’s going, but then I realise I don’t care. I want him gone. I want him to sleep somewhere else, not here in this bed with me. In the dark, he manages to gather all of his things and leave, locking the door after him. I roll onto my back and kick off the blankets. That conversation goes to show that no matter how kind a Fortunate is, their virtues will never change. They’ve been taught since birth that equality doesn’t matter… that their life is more precious than ours, and for the first time in my life, I realise just how depressing my existence really is.
∞ Kade ∞
Kade stormed down the hall, adjusting his tie. How’d she do it? he thought. How’d she get me talking? He began to roll the sleeves of his shirt, stopping the fabric just above his elbows. Kade had told Nine more about himself in that ten minutes than he had anyone his entire life—not even Elizabeth knew about Kade’s leaf collection and they’ve been friends for as long as he could remember. Thankfully, Kade was able to catch himself and rectify their relationship before he opened up about anything else. I’m the Fortunate. She is the Unfortunate. She has no business asking questions… she has no business being curious.
Kade knew for certain that she couldn’t stay in his room, but he wasn’t about to let her out of his sight, not with Vince snooping around and making threats. Adding to his already lengthy list, Kade had to protect Nine from Vince and teach her how to please a Fortunate all while keeping her from his head and finding out what’s happening in his mine. Things were getting complex, much more complex than he’d planned. Towards Nine, he needed to remain detached and cold. He didn’t know how, but Nine had a strange way of making him feel inclined to protect her...to comfort her. Maybe it was her eyes, the beautiful pale violet wasn’t a colour he’d seen before. They were striking—captivating—they made him want to do vile, perverted things to her and it didn’t help his resistance any knowing he could do whatever he wanted to her, whenever he wanted. One bat of her eyelids had Kade hard and ready to throw his plan out the window for the slightest taste. The other… well, the other made him think of his mother… before she was killed. Kade’s mother was a humanitarian. She loved people, regardless of their stature. Growing up, Kade would help his mother do rounds at the Sario manor, feeding soup to their overworked and underfed Unfortunates. No one else treated them like people, even though Kade was certain they were the same.
‘I’d care about humanity…’
Kade gritted his teeth. Of course humanity was as important to Nine as it was to his mother the last night he saw her. Was this a cruel joke? Was his mother pushing at
him to remember what she taught him from beyond the grave? Was there a reason Nine fell into his life? Questions bounced around Kade’s skull; he refused to entertain any of them.
Mom swiped her hands over her face, collecting falling tears. I don’t understand why she’s crying. She never cries this hard before she leaves with Dad to go into the city.
“I need you to be a good boy, Kaden, and I need you to look after your brother.”
I nod as she runs her fingers through my hair. It catches in a knot and pulls on my scalp but I don’t mind. Sometimes I don’t see her for weeks.
“Remember what I’ve taught you. No matter what they tell you, no matter what they teach you, nothing is as important as compassion, love—humanity. You’re going to lead one day... Make the world better, not worse.”
I don’t understand why she’s talking like this... Like she’s not coming back. She grips my shoulders and pulls me in.
“I'm sorry,” she whispers, her throat clogged with tears.
Something heavy swirls in my belly and it makes me feel sick, and sad.
“Now, Helena,” Dad calls as he storms past the door.
Mum jumps and releases me. She swipes at her face again, collecting more tears. I stand still, confused as she straightens out her light green gown and pulls her cardigan further over her shoulders. Lightning flashes, lighting up the room and a bang of thunder sounds out with a loud clap. I’m trembling in my bed. Does she have to go? She knows I can’t stand the storms. The loud bang doesn’t wake Vince and I guess I didn't expect it to. Vince loves storms... even though he’s a lot smaller than I am.
Mum strolls slowly towards the door and I watch her from my bed. She twirls around one last time, blows me a kiss and switches out the light...
That was the last time Kade saw her. His father had taken her straight to her death.
Music from the party still filtered through the windows of the Sario Manor. Kade hadn’t cared for music since he was a little boy. To him, the noise was an unnecessary tool to make people more comfortable around each other. His lips curled at the thought of people standing around with drinks in their hands, but no music to accompany them.