I took the mug and drank the coffee as if my life depended on it. I loved coffee in the morning, although allot of people did, its just it reminded me of a new day. It gave me hope for what’s to come.
I always got a take away coffee on my way to set but there was nothing like a fresh cup at home.
“Do you like it?” Joshua asked smiling at the face I was pulling of pure delight.
“Yes it’s really good, do you want some?” I asked.
Under normal circumstances I would never share my coffee.
“No thank you, I am glad you like it. Because I made it,” Joshua said looking proud.
I looked into the mug at the remaining coffee I couldn’t believe it he could only boil water how did he manage.
He smiled again at my frown.
“I actually wanted to make you coffee and bring it to bed, but then Dean heard me and he came out. He was scared it was you but when he saw me he was relieved. He wanted to find out how angry you were before he actually spoke to you,” he explained.
It still didn’t answer the question in my head.
“How did you get it right?” I asked.
“I watched you do it last night,” he answered.
“It’s really good. That explains why I woke up in an empty bed. I thought it was my snoring that got you out,” I joked.
“Not at all your snoring isn’t that bad,” he said playfully.
“Not that bad, you should have asked ‘what snoring’?”
He laughed, shaking his head.
“I love everything about you even your snoring. About last night, no regrets?
You didn’t have a change of heart?” He asked.
He had that anxious look on his face again.
I ran my fingers through his thick brown hair.
“I have only one regret, but no I haven’t had a change of heart I still love you. Maybe not as much as last night now that you commented on my snoring.”
He laughed and then he frowned.
“What was the one regret?”
“Last night in the kitchen, it would have been nice to have seen how that would have played out.”
I felt the blood rush to my face when I said that, I had a bad habit of biting my lip when I get nervous or shy.
“Me too,” he said putting his finger on my bottom lip.
“But the hours of kissing in bed was nice, don’t you think?” He asked
“I love it when you kiss me,” I answered leaning forward to kiss him again.
“My agent is coming here in an hour; he needs to talk to me about a magazine that wants to do an interview with us,” he said as the kiss ended.
“What interview, are they going to interview you and Jack?” I asked.
“It’s an interview about me and you. Everyone knows about us now and Taylor did a press release last night so now they want my side of the story,” he answered looking nervous at what my reaction would be to what he was telling me.
“What are we going to say? Do I need to do the interview? What did she say?” I asked with total shock, a million thoughts were running through my mind.
“Try to stay calm, Jack will provide all the details. I will try my best to keep you out of the cold claws of the press. But you must know that Taylor basically tried to kill my career and possibly committed career suicide last night. She said that we were never an item and because she was a great actress and I was still a struggling actor, she took me under her wing and helped me out. She explained that she made me and I just threw it back in her face. The thing is people like me and my acting ability, but she was seen as my girlfriend and the fans are angry as hell.
“She made a mistake in a sense that could cost her a couple of fans, I watched some blog’s on the internet and the people feel she thinks too highly of herself. People are saying they thought she was this cute girl next door, now they think she is a self obsessed scorned woman.”
I looked at him, I couldn’t believe it. Here I was happy in a good place and just like that I was back to reality.
“The engagement is going to make things worst,” I said softly.
“Jack says that it can either make things worst or it can actually blow all the negative publicity away,” he answered.
He saw the worry in my eyes; I pulled away from him and walked towards the window.
I looked out to see how many reporters were still outside.
“Obviously everyone knows of you staying the night?” I asked knowing the answer. “Yes,” he answered softly.
“Maybe we should move back a few steps, I will not be responsible for your career taking a knock, this was a huge mistake. How could I have been so stupid to even believe…” I said.
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.
“What are you saying? Do you want to break up?” He asked softly clearly he didn’t want to hear the answer.
I didn’t want to break up with him but I wanted off the rollercoaster, all I could think of was the fact that it would never end.
The press outside my house, the people talking about me when I couldn’t even defend myself.
I was back to reality and the reality was actors don’t date or get engaged to the little people they date their own kind, people who could handle the pressure of being under the microscope all the time.
“I don’t know…Yes,” I said softly.
I held my face in my hands. I didn’t want him to see me crying it would just have confused him even more.
“I don’t understand an hour ago you loved me now you don’t?” He asked.
I heard his voice change.
“I just can’t handle the pressure; I can’t be watched and judged all the time. I do love you and the last couple of days were great but I cant I am sorry.”
I turned to look at him.
He smiled at me but I could see I just broke his heart, he nodded he wasn’t going to discuss this any further.
He got up and walked towards me, I pushed him away.
“Good bye then Katie,” he said.
He leaned in and kissed my forehead.
I just stood there watching him leave.
Chapter 17
I fell down on the sofa, buried my face in a pillow and cried my heart out. I don’t know how long I laid there crying because I fell asleep.
I woke up when my front door slammed shut; it was Dean holding a new bedside table lamp.
After waking up there was a split second where I was alright and then reality set in again.
I started crying again.
Dean put everything down that was in his hands and ran over to me.
“What is wrong girl? Why are you crying? Did that actor upset you?” He asked holding me in his arms.
“Dean I broke up with him,” I said in-between sobs.
“Why? What did he do?”
I held on to him for a while crying and then I told him the whole story.
After I told him he sat there looking out in front of him. He was a logical person and to him it probably did not make sense.
He gave a sigh and then he turned to me.
“I understand,” that was all he said.
I could see on his face that he was just being kind and that he didn’t understand.
“I am going to make you something to drink, and I will put the radio on loud. I will stay with you today. I can run my office from my Blackberry.”
He gave me a big hug and kissed me on my forehead.
He got up, he put the radio on and walked to the kitchen.
I just laid on the sofa, holding the pillow and listened to the song playing on the radio.
I closed my eyes for what I thought was only a minute, when I opened them I saw he had put a cup of camomile tea on the coffee table for me. I didn’t feel like drinking it. I heard him changing the CD's every now and then.
My phone k
ept on ringing constantly but I didn’t want to answer it.
Finally he said, “I am going to answer it now, it might be your mother.”
“Hello……... She’s not available... What channel alright I will make sure she watches it.”
“Katie that was Jack he says Joshua is having a press conference to clear the air after Taylor had hers yesterday and he thinks you should watch it. It is on channel 6.
I sat up and took the remote. I put the TV on channel 6 and waited.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw him on TV, he looked so sad and extremely stressed I had never seen that side of him. He stood on the podium with the lights of the cameras flashing, he looked down took a deep breath and started talking.
“Good afternoon everyone thank you for coming, I am Joshua Scott as you all know and I am here today to talk about some of the issues that came to light recently.
With regards to what Miss Logan’s said last night I would just like to say that although I considered her a friend, I am deeply sorry that she got hurt in the process. We were never an item and yes we posed for photos together many times it was the public’s assumption that we were in fact dating. I feel sorry that I had let it go on for so long.
I believe that I am an actor in my own right and that I have earned the respect of my fans, Miss Logan never got me movie rolls or did me any favours, sadly we only let the lie continue because it meant that we would stay in the spot light, I am ashamed of that.
“With regards to Miss Roberts, yes we were in a relationship it saddens me to say that she broke off our engagement this morning. We will still remain colleges because I am still working on the movie with her. I love her dearly and I wish that things had worked out differently-” he paused smiling a sad smile, he took another deep breath and continued.
“But unfortunately she felt that our relationship would ruin my career. She feared that my fans would be too disappointed at the fact that Miss Logan and I were not dating and that would damage my reputation.
Miss Roberts was and is the best part of me. She allowed me into her world and I enjoyed every moment of it, she is kind and understanding. But at the same time she is cautious and protective over the people she cares about.
“My world on the other hand is cruel and I was a stupid man to have expected her to be part of it. To everyone I am the guy in the movie, the character. To her I was someone I was Joshua Scott. Katie, if you are watching this; I love you pretty girl and I am very sorry. Thank you again to everyone that came.”
He walked off the podium the cameras were still flashing.
Dean put the TV softer and looked at me. By then my face was blood red, I had cried so much that I had a head ache.
“Wow Katie what are you thinking?” Dean asked.
“I am thinking that he just made an enemy of Taylor Logan. I also think that I messed up, but I can’t be his girlfriend I will drag him down. He will get over the pain and he will meet an actress and then he will forget the way he felt today,” I said.
“Well if you want to know what I am thinking… I am thinking that yes you are right he did create tension between him and Taylor. But at least he was honest. Also I think you are right you did mess up.
Here is the part I disagree on, if you even heard a single word that man said in front of all those reporters and the thousands of people who just watched that on TV, you would realise that he is completely broken and that you were the one thing in his life that made him feel like a person and not a thing people fantasised about. You broke his heart and your own for what? Because Katie Roberts cant take a little pressure?” Dean almost sounded angry.
“A little pressure? Dean you know how bad it was the last couple of days, with the press,” I defended myself.
“Yes it was difficult but I can remember clearly how easy it was too. You two couldn’t keep your hands off each other. And better yet do you think for one second it was easy for him? He fell in love with you and all you did was worry about what everyone else was thinking.
“Katie the man asked you to marry him last night, there were no cameras it was just us, and what did you do? You ran to the bathroom. Same with when he asked you to be his girlfriend you said yes but everyone including him heard the doubt in your voice. In both cases you weren’t judging the way you felt about him, it was about ‘What would everyone else say?’
“If your relationship hurt his career he was willing to take the chance. Believe me he considered that but still he proposed.”
I was speechless Dean was right.
“Its over anyways there is no point… he has already told the press its over,” I said. “No point? You broke his heart you owe him more than, ‘There is no point.’
So what if he told the world it’s over, tomorrow he can have an interview with a magazine and say its back on again. If you don’t want him say so, don’t tell me there is no point.
“You said to him you don’t want to be in an article a week after you announced your relationship stating that you broke up. You made him promise that he wouldn’t let that happen, funny thing is you broke that promise, you did that to yourself.”
Dean shook his head.
I didn’t understand where his anger came from, was he my friend or Josh’s?
Why was he so angry with me?
“What do you want me to say Dean? And why are you so angry with me?” I shouted at him.
“I am not angry with you, I want you to realise your mistake before it’s too late. I want you to phone him or to go over to his hotel room; I want you to talk to him,” Dean said moving closer to me on the sofa.
“I messed up badly and I don’t know how to fix it,” I admitted.
“Go shower, wash your hair, put on some make up and a pretty dress. I will go with you,” he said smiling.
Chapter 18
I got myself off the sofa and followed his advice.
As I put my make up on I said to myself, ‘dress up for the paparazzi.’
I did my make up perfect and I put on my nicest dress. It could be possible to live in his world, I just need to change my mind set.
I was dressed up and ready to go, Dean was sitting on the chair with my car keys in his hand.
“I hope she will start,” he said showing me the keys.
“Don’t pretend I know you used her this morning,” I said.
He just blushed he didn’t even deny it.
I got out the door when I saw two body guards standing in front of my door.
“Why are you still here? He left this morning?” I asked the one.
“Mr Scott sent us over here before the press conference; he gave us instruction to follow you if you should go out. He was scared someone would want to hurt you after what was said at the press conference.”
I looked at Dean and thought I was scared of the press, now I have to be scared of angry fans as well.
“Very well you can follow me to Mr Scott’s hotel room,” I said walking past them. “Miss Roberts you are going to have to drive with us. We can’t take chances.
Should we let Mr Scott know you are on your way?” the one asked.
“No please don’t.”
“Alright follow us.”
They led us through a back corridor of my apartment building.
I didn’t even know it excited. But it wasn’t secret enough there were a couple of reporters standing outside waiting for me to show my face in public.
“Miss Roberts, care to comment?” one asked as I passed him.
I looked into the man’s eyes and realised I could make his day with a comment; it could possibly mean a big pay check for him and his family. I realised they were not the enemy I could use them to my advantage and both parties score.
“Yes I have a comment. I am on my way to see Mr Scott after the press conference today, I realised I loved him too much to let him go. I am going to see if he will
still have me,” I said as I walking away from the reporter.
“What if he doesn’t want you back?” He asked.
“Then I only have myself to blame,” I answered.
I got into the black car and looked out the window as we drove to the hotel.
Dean took my hand in his and squeezed it.
Still holding Dean’s hand I climbed into the elevator and pushed the button to the top floor. He turned to me when the doors closed.
“I am not going in with you, I will go back down when you get out. I will wait for you in the bar down stairs. Doesn’t matter what happens, I will wait till I hear from you.”
I nodded smiling nervously.
The doors opened and I got out, I looked back at him when the doors closed.
I waited till the elevator doors closed completely before I took a deep breath and walked towards the big double white doors of the hotel room.
I knocked softly just hard enough for him to hear me, but when the door swung open I was surprised to see Jack standing there.
“Is he here?” I asked unsure.
Jack recognised me immediately although we had never met. I heard Joshua’s voice from inside.
“Who ever is it Jack. Just tell them to bugger off.”
Jack smiled and opened the door wider.
“I don’t think you really want me to tell her that,” Jack said as I walked in.
He was lying on the couch with a beer bottle in his one hand, he couldn’t see me but I saw him.
“Joshua,” I said softly.
He got up and pulled his clothes straight.
I could see he had been drinking.
“Hi,” he said putting the bottle on the coffee table. “Why are you here?”
He wasn’t angry he just looked so tired and sad.
“I saw you on TV,” I started.
“Oh yes that,” he said.
I sensed that it was going to be a bit harder than I thought. I looked at Jack still standing in the door, he nodded at me almost understanding what I wanted to say.
“I will be in the bar downstairs,” he said as he reached for his coat.
“Katie please...” he started.
“I won’t,” I said.
He smiled and closed the door behind him. I looked back at Joshua he was still looking at me.