Like this student, many participants were triumphant in the face of adversity. Despite (or perhaps because of) how demanding College Initiative events can be, the extent to which so many people—particularly young women—become empowered by successfully developing and executing their productions is staggering. Many people never have the opportunity, desire, or ability to tackle in a lifetime what (mostly) seventeen- to twenty-one-year-old women achieve in a semester.
Dear Karen,
On a personal level, the College Initiative will be the experience that I remember most from my college career. Directing The Vagina Monologues taught me more about myself than anything I have ever done. It also reinforced my belief in the power of community, especially a strong community of women. To sit in the audience, watching my once-shy actresses laugh and moan and cry about their vaginas, and feel the power that their words had over the people surrounding me was indescribable.
—Danielle, Colorado State University, May 19, 2000
As Danielle’s letter expresses, many of the young women and men who participate in the College Initiative experience a heightened awareness of “the power of community, especially a strong community of women” and the need for such a community. This is the second magnificent, unanticipated outcome of the College Initiative: The Vagina Monologues and V-Day are helping to bring a new generation to a new kind of feminism.
Finally, and perhaps most important, many of the people who have come into the fold in various capacities (as contacts, actresses, helpers, or audience members) have done so with a conscious or sometimes subconscious desire to heal from personal experiences of sexual violation. Many of them have written to me of their feelings of isolation, fear, helplessness, despair, pain, and lack of self-worth, and their belief that they would never recover from their abusive experiences—until they found The Vagina Monologues and V-Day. The play and the movement have served as vehicles for their present recovery and future survival.
Karen, I just had to respond to your e-mail and let you know that meeting you and Eve has been one of the most special and important experiences in my life to date. You give me some indication of the woman I want to be.
I know I did not discuss this with you before, it’s not something I discuss often, but I have been sexually abused.
This V-Day experience—being a part of this wonderful project, meeting women who have made it to adulthood as strong, intelligent, together, interesting, as well as interacting with peers of mine who have given thought to the same issues I have and are willing to work to prevent what happened to myself and countless other young women from happening again—has reminded me what I lost in my rush to recover: I lost my body and now I know I will get it back.
With energy,
—Anonymous student, October 21, 1998
Directing the V-Day College Initiative has been much more demanding and rewarding than I ever expected it to be. For two years, I have received twenty-five to seventy-five e-mails a day regarding the Initiative. I have responded to all of them. And that has been only a fraction of my daily responsibilities. I have never given myself more fully to any project in my life. There have been days when I would be in my twelfth exhausting hour at the computer and I would ask myself again, “Why V-Day?” and then I’d get a letter from one of the Initiative participants and, again, the answer was clear.
Some of these letters follow, but there are hundreds more like them from people all over the world of all backgrounds and ethnicities who have found, through The Vagina Monologues and V-Day, new ways of thinking and talking about their concerns, discovering their own potential, helping others, healing themselves. I am certain, when you read these letters, that you’ll know “Why V-Day?” too.
LETTERS AND STORIES
The Beginning
I feel (who doesn’t?) that V-Day is a very important cause, and I think it’s a good strategy as well. It gets people who ordinarily wouldn’t even think about women’s issues to come to the play and most of them leave with a new understanding and a lot more respect for the experiences of women in our society. It’s also empowering for the people involved, both to have the experience of using their voice to say (to 400+ people) something so meaningful and powerful, and to take active steps to make the world better, safer, and more respectful for women.
—Brian, University of Oklahoma
[To her fellow College Initiative participants]
I want you to not worry. We did this last year and are doing it again, with 8 directors, a 150-person team and 10 other V-Day-related activities (including a concert, an art show, a vulva puppet-making workshop, a zine, a lecture series and more). It is SOOO insane and hard to manage. We won’t have tryouts until November 30. We don’t have funding. So, while we may LOOK organized, things are ALWAYS insane. Every group does it by its own rules. Don’t sweat it if your approach is different. There are pluses and minuses to each. Find what works for you. There is no ONE WAY to do this. Don’t stress, just enjoy it—it will work out. good luck!
—Danah, Brown University
[To her fellow College Initiative participants]
We had auditions before Thanksgiving break and some 40 women tried out, which was spectacular. We ended up casting nine and were fairly successful in reaching out to a diverse group of women as far as ethnicity, race, sexuality, age, whatever. Rehearsals have already begun and I’m so excited. As far as sponsors—all of our money is coming from on-campus groups. We are lucky enough to have an on-campus arts grant that provides easy-to-get funding for plays/concerts/etc. but I am in the process of finding funding for the other more political projects we are doing. For that money I have approached our Women’s Studies Department and am planning to approach American Studies, Sociology, African-American Studies (one of our speakers is talking about poor minority women), and any other academic department that might be considered relevant. I am also presenting a proposed budget to our on-campus community service umbrella, which will provide a couple hundred dollars for one-time projects. If you are at a university, pull from the grad schools—I am planning to approach the feminist law journal at the law school for money and for other types of support and will be checking to see if the other grad schools here have women’s groups with available funds. And, if you have a fairly liberal college, try the administration—we are approaching the Dean of Students who has a discretionary fund (although that’s a little bit of a stretch). For those of you with less on-campus funding sources, if you are involving non-student communities, see if you can get money from a local community loan fund or the education department of your local/state Planned Parenthood. Even if they can’t give you money, they may be able to refer you to someone who can. Hope that helps!
—Anika, Yale University
I would just like to say that bringing The Vagina Monologues and the V-Day celebration to Lincoln, Nebraska, is a HUGE deal. Lincoln is an ultra-conservative town that when viewed from the outside would appear to care nothing about “women’s issues.” Nebraska is famous for its “Husker Mania” where during college football season most people go to “church” twice a week, once on Saturday afternoon, and once on the usual Sunday morning. This is a state where a retired football coach/demigod is running for the U.S. Senate position, and has a pretty darned good chance at winning. This is a state where violence against women is normalized. Just a few short years ago, a certain favorite football star was given a slap on the wrist and sent back out on the field after missing only a few games, for beating up his estranged girlfriend. Coincidentally, I believe the Huskers brought home the national title that year.
In spite of the apathetic position of our notorious athletic department, there are many passionate individuals in this community who are dedicated to stopping the violence. I am overwhelmed by the overall positive response that I have gotten for bringing this show to Lincoln. It will truly open some eyes, minds, and hearts!
—Keri, University of Nebraska, Lincoln
The Buildup
> In this environment, The Vagina Monologues was not initially well received. Now, support has come forth from various departments on campus with donations. I have booked one performance at a 450-person venue. Now I am not so sure that 450 seats will be enough.
—David, Oregon State University
I’m trying to work in the community. I’ve contacted several shelters and programs, and they’re very interested. They ask me, OK, what do you want us to do? This is where I choke up.
—Laura, University of Puget Sound
I just wanted to thank you once again for giving Colorado State University permission to do The Vagina Monologues last November. Our show was a huge success and “vagina” is still the hottest buzzword on our campus. We completely sold out our run in an 80-seat theatre, and had to add two shows and break fire code (Shhh!) by squeezing in 20 extra seats each night. We cleared over $1,000 for the Crossroads Safehouse in Fort Collins. Because we were able to direct the show earlier, I am also able to revive it for Valentine’s Day. This time, we are doing two shows that night in a 650-seat theatre and publicity has been donated by organizations all over our once-conservative little town. This show has done so much for all of us, and I just wanted you to know that by stretching the rules for us, our message reached hundreds of people.
—Danielle, Colorado State University
We have been posting little teasers every week to let people know that the show is coming, things like “ ‘What are we saying about our bodies if we can’t say vagina?’—Eve Ensler” or “Have you made a clitoris happy today?” or “V-Day is coming . . .” Well, our teasers keep mysteriously disappearing and one of our cast members noticed one of our flyers that had been defaced (the clitoris one). The word “clitoris” had been scratched out and a penis had been drawn in, and not just any penis, but a penis ejaculating. I’ve also been hearing people on campus commenting about the show: “Vaginas?! Jesus.” (laughter) “What are we saying about our vaginas?!” (laughter)
But I guess that’s what this show is for, to dissipate this ignorance.
—Eman, University of California at Santa Cruz
It has been such an exciting and exhilarating experience, I don’t know where to begin. Somehow, with hard work and effort and love, it’s all coming together. We have some fantastic actresses, undergrads, grads and alumnae, as well as a few non-Columbia actresses. We’ve been rehearsing like crazy, and I can’t tell you what a profound experience it is. I keep learning more and more about The Vagina Monologues and about women. It’s wonderful.
—Joan, Columbia University
Dear Karen,
I just want to tell you how deeply moved I am by all of the women who have come forward to donate their time to our Women’s Resource Center production of The Vagina Monologues. I had no idea when I replied to your e-mail that this event would become such a powerful experience for so many of us. I worry a little about negative backlash from certain individuals at this university but am completely dedicated to this project. So, there is much more in my heart to say but I have so much to do in running the Women’s Resource Center, including making time to memorize my lines, that I must go for now. Please thank Eve Ensler for what she has given us and you for all your hard organizational work! By the way, we are close to selling out our 300-seat venue. It’s amazing!
Another Vagina Warrior,
—Sandrea, University of New Mexico Women’s Resource Center
Karen, approximately 31 faculty, staff, and students will collaborate in performing the show. The entire performance will be presented simultaneously in English and in American Sign Language (approximately 10% of our population is deaf). Staging will be fairly simple—for most monologues two actors will be on stage, one performing in spoken English, the other in ASL. A few of the monologues will be ensemble pieces, including “Wear and Say,” “Smell,” “My Mother Slapped Me,” and “I Was There in the Room.” In between the monologues, a slide will be displayed on a large screen with one of the violence statistics given to us in our V-Day packets. Before and after the show, taped music will be played which celebrates women, women’s health, women’s sexuality, women’s empowerment. Before and after the show, there will be informational tables set up from local health agencies, as well as sales of the book, T-shirts, buttons, and vagina chocolates. At the reception, we are making plans to have artwork by a student who does paintings of vaginas.
—Julie, Coordinator of the Women’s Center,
Rochester Institute of Technology
Just had to share! Our largest local newspaper is extremely (putting it mildly) conservative and I expected that even though the arts desk is on friendly terms with several cast members, we would be listed in some dark recess of the classified section. I just spoke with our friend and not ONLY will we have a nice-sized article in the Sunday edition, but he was granted permission to actually PRINT “VAGINA” ONE TIME!! Please remember we are talking KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE, where the grocery stores block the cover photos of Cosmopolitan magazine because the images are too suggestive!! We ARE making a difference!! VIVE V-DAY!!!
—Linda, University of Tennessee, Knoxville
I just wanted to thank you and Eve (and all the other people whose names I don’t know) for making this possible. Since becoming involved in this project, I have learned to respect myself more. I take more chances. I am just a happier person overall, because I feel that I am a part of something so colossal and important and compelling and breathtaking—the list goes on and on. And, I am proud to say that I now have no problem saying vagina. In fact, I literally say it at least five times a day lately.
Sincerely,
—Jenna, Carnegie Mellon University
The Events
We are already sold out for all of our shows. This is going to be insane. We sold out in a couple of hours!
—Danah, Brown University
We are performing at 3:30 today.
Yesterday’s rehearsal was unbelievably emotional. The woman who does “Coochi Snorcher” broke down and sobbed for about five minutes at the line “my coochi snorcher is a very bad place.” She was afraid that she won’t be able to make it through today’s performance without crying. We all said we didn’t care if she does cry and probably all the better if she does; people SHOULD be disturbed by that monologue.
Probably the funniest thing about rehearsal yesterday was that we were in the room next to a history conference (on post-colonialism of all things!), and I think they were a little shocked to hear Crista screaming “CUNT, CUNT!! SAY IT! SAY IT! CUNT! CUNT!! SAY IT!! SAY IT!!” and to hear us responding and then when I did the triple surprise orgasm moan . . . well . . . let’s just say that they heard that loud and clear too!
—Mary, Michigan State University
[To her fellow College Initiative participants]
I have yet to send out a message into this pool of beautiful vagina-talking women. Better late than never?! I just wanted to say that this is an awesome thing that we are all doing and every time I hear someone ask “Why do a play about vaginas?” I think about all the e-mails I have received and I know that we are taking steps to ensure that maybe for our daughter’s granddaughters there won’t need to be plays about vaginas, they will be talked about and respected. But until then I remind those people who ask that we have a long battle in front of us to stop the violation and shame. Happy V-Day, have a fabulous opening night!
—Amy, University of Washington at Seattle
Directors’ Notes
What, then, are the special ways of women? I have found in seeking to answer this question a bottomless well of possibility.
—Shekhinah Mountainwater
From the very beginning, when I waited impatiently for my Performance Kit to arrive in the mail, my experiences with this play have proven the above quote infinitely true. The journey that it has taken me through has revealed to me the endless possibilities of form, manner, heart and spirit . . . the things that shape Woman. Upon reading the script for the
first time, I was struck with the honesty, brilliance and strength of the women depicted in the monologues. Each had the ability to evoke genuine, heartfelt emotion through the stories of their own real lives. The sad ones made me cry, the comic ones made me laugh . . . most made me do both at once. These were real women, with real experiences, and each was completely unique . . . a bottomless well of possibility. Time passed, we held auditions and assembled a company of fairly diverse women (not one was cut from the show). As we began to organize ourselves, form plans and rehearse, I grew to know each of the women better and better. Some were actresses from the start, doing the show because it was, in fact, a show. Others were feminists to the core, who had never acted in their lives but wanted to stand up and fight for their own. Most of us were somewhere in between. Those who lived for the stage couldn’t help but develop a desire to do their part to end sexual violence. Those who knew nothing of acting often found themselves completely expressing their characters’ emotions through the passionate empathy that the script evoked. All of us grew to understand both ends of the spectrum much more deeply than we had before . . . a bottomless well of possibility. So many women, so many spirits, so many stories. . . . It was incredible enough just to experience each person and each story, but I discovered something even closer to home. I discovered the endlessness of what was inside of me. I had pieces of each of these women in my heart, as we all do. I discovered the innate connection we have with each other, the understanding that completely unacquainted women can have of each other. I realized that I can be a director and a feminist and a friend and a student . . . all of these things simply make me a woman. All of us, all women, have this capability to be connected, to be warriors, to be friends, to have as many facets as we wish, to be . . . an endless well of possibility. Thank you all for joining us today to celebrate V-Day, enjoy the show!