CHAPTER SEVEN
Maybe you saw that coming; maybe you knew Lordano was going to be the Gurjoo. Maybe you should be telling this story; nobody likes a know-it-all. Could be you know the general story, and you’re reading this to answer some specific questions on some historical quiz about notable characters and events-- if that’s the case, and you’re still curious how this ends, I’ll give you a clue now -- I didn’t die. Hope that’s not a spoiler.
But I was totally gobsmacked, dumbstruck, blown away. True, I’d been kind of distracted lately with all those soft and curvaceous women, but I’d never expected my next encounter with Sirah to be at the wrong end of a gun. I’ve had women point guns at me before, but usually only after the relationship had moved further along; I didn’t think things with Sirah had gotten so far, so fast. Some other women I’d spent time with, yeah, they might be upset, sure, or their fathers maybe, but not Sirah. She’d skipped ahead a couple of steps in the normal progression of my romances.
My eyes swiveled and I saw Aspe Iapmo some distance off, also pointing a pistol down. “Sirah, what’s going on? Why the gun?” as my hands slowly rose to my ears.
“Good morning, or afternoon, adjutant!” she snarled. “Aspe, let’s get these imposters out of here.”
Mayor Rekaburb was as surprised as I was. “Sirah, what’s going on? What do you mean ‘imposters’?”
“She means that your Inspector General and his adjutant aren’t what you figured they were. They’re not from the Empire, they’re con-artists, and they’re as lost as everybody else on this god-forsaken rock,” answered Aspe.
“But Sirah, I thought we had something special between us,” I pleaded.
“No, Jaf, she had something special with the adjutant to the Inspector General who could get her off this planet. That person doesn’t exist any more, and if I have my way, you won’t either,” answered Aspe again. It wasn’t good that Iapmo was taking Sirah’s part in the dialogue; somehow I had to cut her out, try for Sirah to remember our sweet times. Heck, I’d been mooning over this girl just a few days before!
“What are you going to do with us?” I asked, and then the mayor demanded, “What do you mean they’re con-artists? What do you mean they’re not from the Empire? Didn’t they have the sign we were told of by the P. U.?!”
“Dad, she means that this bunch got lost, probably on the run from somebody they’d swindled, and ended up on Caliuga, just like the Solip City bunch, just like the rest of us. And it was pure coincidence and luck that they came to us first, and had the balls, it was only because you are so gullible and naïve that you mistook them for, well, for an Inspector General and his retinue.
“And they’ve been working that angle ever since. And I, and everyone else in Caliuga, fell for it. It wasn’t until they were compromised by Solip City Security that we figured out what happened, and vowed to make things right.” I couldn’t say that those last words, about making things right, hinted of reconciliation with my Sirah. I was not encouraged, not a bit.
“But Sirah, my dear, the role I played was forced on me! My feelings for you were never false! I always cared for you, and I meant to make things right! In fact, the reason we were headed back to Caliuga City was so I could explain things to you, come clean, be an honest man!”
She kicked me again, and her fierce expression alone made me wince. But at least she still cared, in a way. I believed she even ‘pulled’ her kick, out of some small sympathy, but she still had to sell it to Aspe. One of the keys to optimism is finding encouraging signs, no matter how dismal the circumstances.
Aspe said, “Shut up, Jaf. She’s over that now. We’re moving on to our next plan. Get up on your horses, all of you, we’re heading back to the ranch.”
“This should you not be doing. You forget that we all are sparks, particles, sparticles of Divine Spirit, and you forget this when you try to impose ego-will on events.” Lordano still talked crazy, but I was liking his new enlightenment. “Allow us our journey to continue, and you yours continue, in peace.” Preach it, Lordano!
“You must be the Gurjoo we’ve heard about. I have considered your words and have an answer for you, oh Gurjoo!”
“Bless you,” he gestured.
“What? I didn’t sneeze! It’s time for you to shut up! On your horses, now! Or else we start shooting!” Aspe barked.
The ranch, as it turned out, was very near. There at the back was a speeder, dented and somewhat scorched, a tarp cast loose to its side. My mind went back to the wild and stormy ride back from the ranch, and the feeling of peril I’d had. Well, that feeling had returned, doubled.
With her revolver Aspe gestured. “You two, Wanliet and Jaf, we’re going for a ride on the speeder. Mayor Rekaburb and you, Gurjoo, you may continue on your way to Caliuga.” Sirah was nodding. Back to us, “There’s no reason for the mayor and the Gurjoo to take along your possessions. They won’t be needing them. Of course, you won’t either, but I think I’ll keep your hopes alive, so why not unload the horses and put your stuff on the speeder, okay?”
Dutifully we labored as the mayor looked on uneasily. He had a lot of new data to process. He’d been the first to greet the Inspector General; soon thereafter he found his Gurjoo and enlightenment, and now his scriptural account of the meeting of the Gurjoo and the Inspector General was definitely threatened by reality and subsequent events, not that those were barriers insurmountable to myth-making. So far I didn’t think he’d recognized that his Gurjoo was Lordano – no telling how he’d react to that if it happened. Finally, his daughter had kidnapped him and his companions on his impromptu pilgrimage. As tough as my situation looked, I felt a little sorry for him, slumped in the saddle, as his reality jumped from wormhole to black hole.
But sympathy passed quickly, as it always does for me. There was work to do. Just because somebody knows you’re a smooth-talking swindler doesn’t mean they’re deaf to your words – why, I’ve known pros who can take the same mark three, four times. So I knew that, despite appearances, all was not lost. While I had a voice, I had hope.