of that talisman that my body was saved from consumption. The mandala became my only sanctuary from his hunger for life giving blood. But feed he did! - Upon my living soul!
For in each place I stayed, death stalked the night, and none except I was safe from destruction; for I had become as a slave, and this slave has but one master – Unas. I saw my doom played out before me, my soul removed bit by bit and what was left packed with dust; part of me was already gone and the part left filled with an awful creeping desolation. Proximity to my master possessed me with unworldly powers; I have an acute awareness of events yet to happen, that flooded my senses with a living dread. Call it Foresight or clairvoyance, but times arrow no longer runs straight and true. Sometimes future events are played out before my eyes as in a dream, and the banality of every day existence has become possessed of phantoms.
By what dark magick is a man placed before his doom, he may be in the bloom of life then cruelly struck down, a change of tack from birth should place him safe elsewhere, and if not, a mans life is nothing but a vile game, then if this be so, I say to god I’m not afraid… play on!
Bravado – such foolish bravado – for below the mask lies a soul stricken with a desperate panic; filled with the terrors reserved for a soul partially devoured!
For now it is I who craves his company , so when he calls I must go, for it is I who seek him out ,and upon my soul he feeds. I can feel the great cogs of eternity grinding out each second as I wait to be called ;for during the anticipation of his call my existence is unspeakable I often find myself in the highest of agitations, brimming with hysterical excitement, or thrown into a downward spiral of deep despair. In frustration I often pace, tear at my clothes, or at my flesh. I survive each night with the most inhuman of torments. For when he beckons no earthly force can stop me, for only in his presence is my soul at peace.
As the mischief was worked on my soul, it has become expressed in material manifestation. Over time I have come to notice subtle changes in my appearance and sensitivities that have now become more striking, my skin has taken on a ghastly sallow pallor, all but the dimmest lights assault my eyes, my body is wasted of flesh, nails grow long hair falls out and is thinning, gums shrink back exposing the roots of my teeth, and a scurvy of leprous white patches defiles my skin. My daydreams of late have become constantly assailed by hellish visions, that play upon my senses confusing them and melding things real or imagined into one. Even when driven to distraction by hunger I cannot bring myself to eat of anything other than of the living, for it now goes against my nature, the smell of dead meat filling me with a vile disgust, a physical warning that by its very ingestion I would be surely be undone. Only the blood and the souls of small living things sustain me, and how the mind deceives itself, a mouse, a rat, a cat a dog, how the deception moves on, Onwards and Upwards! – Did a living god not once say eat of my body, drink of my blood, for a new and everlasting Covenant! - Such was his promise of everlasting life.
The mayfly is born, lives and dies all within the space of one day, its little life seems almost trivial in comparison to yours, and to the mayfly yours seems to almost span eternity, and I in my turn have seen and an endless stream of human mayflies come and go, all things perish and even the immortals in time fade to nothing.
So let us now talk of fate and how our paths have become crossed, our two lines were drawn up long ago upon the manuscript of eternity, they were set to cross from the moment that divine pen first ever made mark - such is our fate, and such is our doom!
Oh!-How many endless years have I tormented myself in trying to fathom gods plan for us, how could a god of love curse us foredoomed? - Countless times I have cast my eyes aloft and begged forgiveness for some unknown wrong doing - Only to find heavens have remained unmoved. -Why this cruel charade of a destiny self made? - did god give Judas a choice in his betrayal? - Ill tell you now before all creation of heaven and hell - There was none!
During the reading of this tale the day is done, look!-look!- see! - The sun has set and night is upon us! - See how the mandala about your feet glows! You did not see it there earlier - shame! For at nightfall my soul becomes a desolate place and I am bereft of any reason or humanity, consigned to forever commit dark deeds, most terrible is the hunger that I have for your soul, and in equal measure terrible is the hunger that I have for your blood!
For if it be your soul I will call to you as I am called, and there feed upon you ,and you too will dwell in the shadows , And undergo unspeakable torments in anticipation of my call , and pine for my company until times end. And I will fill the dusty hole that I have in my soul with yours, so when I am called by Unas he will take of you, but not of me!
For I am with you now in this very room, in the corner - Yes! - In the dark with you. Come a little closer and pay witness to the things no mortal eyes may see; but hasten not outside the mandala’s edge, for the spirits that drive my hunger for blood are unquenchable. To the edge of the mandala you are drawn, frozen as a mouse before the yawning jaws of a cat. And there you behold the darkness as though a black mirror, upon which is played out before you the end of time, from above you hear a great blast of trumpets, the blackness is rent asunder, crypts are split in two, coffin lids are thrown open, and countless souls fly upwards to heaven; and then you see a vast multitude of angels resplendent in a golden light cast from heaven, and then with a great roar the heavens close, and all light is extinguished. And all that are left below turn in, and fall upon one another ;And with each in the fury and the agony of their demise, the little of what remains of their soul cries out in despair up into the billowing clouds of black that hang low dark and impenetrable.
Transfixed in horror you see yourself in torment within the great multitude of the dammed - You cry out - “No!-That cannot be!-I have a choice!-To Step outside of the mandala! - To perish! - You must consume my blood! - You must!
The heavens are now closed upon this place like the lid of some great coffin, and the vile atmosphere is leaden with a great tumult of suffering, thunder sounds out as the nails of eternity seem hammered home, as all are henceforth consigned to the abyss.
And in that darkened room as you stand there aghast, you see me open my arms wide as if addressing a vast assembly -
“Come about dark creatures, come about and greet your brother!-For he too is a “desolate one” - abandoned by god long before he was ever born!”
~~~
Note to the Reader
Thank you for reading my work
You will find other work located at:
Thank you for reading books on BookFrom.Net Share this book with friends