“So, what can I do for you? You want to break in and read all the dirty books?” She leaned close and whispered conspiratorially to me.
“Do you have any gay books? Those are my favorites. With girls kissing other girls.” I pretended to gasp.
“So scandalous,” I whispered back.
“I know.” She wiggled her eyebrows and I couldn’t resist any longer. I reached for her face and she came forward to meet me.
It was like the first time. All fire and sweetness and her lush lips on mine. I’d never had someone kiss me who just completely swept me up in it. I couldn’t remember what else I was supposed to be doing, other than kissing Lacey Cole. Why would I ever want to do anything else?
She rested her forehead on mine.
“You’re incredible. I don’t even know your middle name, but you’ve just totally ruined all my plans. And I like my plans, Anna.” I shivered at the way she said my name.
“I’m sorry I fucked with your plans.” I licked my lips, tasting her.
“No you’re not.” She pushed away from me and sighed.
“You want to do something?” she asked.
“What?” Everything was closed or closing soon. Ridiculous small town hours. At least in the summer we would have been able to get a drink until ten.
“I . . . don’t know. You’re the one who lives here. Show me your town.” Okay. I guess I could do that. It was a relatively warm night and we only needed light jackets to wander around without getting cold.
“Sure,” I said, motioning to the street. “Let’s go.”
*^*^*
We headed up and down the main street and then went down to the water. There was a dock that people often used in the summer as a place to get drunk, but tonight it was abandoned. Sometimes I would come down and stick my feet in the water, but you couldn’t pay me to do that now. Way too cold.
Still, Lacey and I sat on the dock and watched the moonlight drift over the waves.
“It’s nice here. It feels like this town moves at a different speed than the rest of the world. It’s calm. Slow. But in a good way. I like it.” I’d been other places, but not for a long time. I’d flirted briefly with the idea of moving to New York or Seattle, but that had always seemed impossible. Unreachable. So I’d just stayed here. And I was happy. I was. I think?
“Does it make you happy? Traveling?” Lacey pulled her legs up and put her chin on her knees, looking out at the water. The wind tossed her hair around under the ballcap.
“It used to. I think it still does. But, like I said, I feel the need to stay still for a while. To breathe. To do nothing but sit and read a book, or watch movies all day. To be idle.” I liked the idea of it, but wasn’t sure if I could really do it.
“I could try being idle with you. I could take some days off, maybe.” She turned and smiled at me, hopeful.
“Really? I think I’d like that. A lot. Being idle with you.” I didn’t mean to make it sound sexy, but there was an undercurrent that I didn’t think I was the only one feeling. She brushed some of my hair behind my ear.
The ocean air was cold, but cleared my head. I’d always loved living near the salty air. It helped me get clarity sometimes.
“Then let’s be idle.”
*^*^*
It got too cold to sit by the water, so we ended up being idle in the comfort of Lacey’s room with a few rum and Cokes, and some cheese and crackers.
“If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?” I asked. We were getting to know each other by asking ridiculous questions. It was fun and silly and I was warm from the alcohol and I couldn’t remember being this relaxed in ages.
“Hmm,” she said, her face screwing up as she thought. So adorable. “Probably buy some boobs.” She looked down at her chest and pouted a little.
“How big would you go?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. I’m still waiting for mine to grow a little more.” They looked perfect to me, but I wanted her to be happy with them.
“I think I’d buy a villa in Tuscany,” I said. “Fix it up. Like that movie.” Lacey looked up from her chest.
“That sounds nice. I’ve never been to Italy.” I could tell she was still thinking about her body.
“Hey,” I said, reaching out and touching her arm. “I think you’re beautiful. Just the way you are. Okay? You don’t need to change anything. But if you want to, need to, that’s okay too. Do what you need to do for you. You deserve it. You deserve everything.” She bit her bottom lip and nodded.
“Thanks. I’m still figuring out what I want. It changes. Anyway, let’s talk about something else.” She went back to asking about what I’d put in my villa.
“Well, I think I’d love to have a huge garden. I mean, I can’t grow a damn thing, but maybe I could hire a gardener or something. I mean, if I had all that money, I don’t see why I couldn’t pay someone to grow stuff. And then I’d put my library with windows overlooking the garden so I could have a window seat to read in.” Of course I’d have a huge library. That was essential.
“And who would live with you in this villa, or would it just be you?” I knew what she was asking.
“I’m not sure. It might be awful lonely to be in a villa by myself. I might want to have a cat, at least. A black one.” She smiled slowly.
“Oh, really?”
“Uh huh.”
Lacey sipped at her drink and thought about that.
“I think Murder would like living in a villa. There’d probably be lots of birds in the garden for him to watch and plenty of places to hide and then jump out and scare us.”
“Us?” I said.
“Yeah, us.” That word was both terrifying and reassuring at the same time. I couldn’t figure out if I liked the sound of it or not. So many conflicting feelings.
“I could put in a photography studio. I think someone could take a lot of wonderful photographs in Italy,” I said. Her smile got wider.
“I think I could.” I changed the subject again, asking about her most-embarrassing moment. I then shared mine, and we went back and forth like that for hours. Well into the night.
“Do you want to just stay here?” she asked. I thought about it. Not a good idea. Too many temptations.
“It’s okay. I don’t live that far.” And I had my car. This was when living in a small town worked out in my favor.
“Okay,” she said, but I could tell she was a little hurt.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just . . . I think we should keep things . . .” I couldn’t find the right words.
“Uncomplicated?” she asked and I laughed.
“Yeah. That.” Lacey sighed and nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right. We should keep things as simple as possible. At least for now.” For now.
“Sounds good. So . . . I’ll see you tomorrow?” I hoped I would.
“Yeah. You’ll see me tomorrow. We’ll do some more idling.” I couldn’t resist giving her one last kiss before I left.
“Goodnight, Lacey Cole.”
“Goodnight, Anna Corcoran,” she said.
Seven
The next few days were a blur of work, seeing Lacey, talking with Lacey, laughing with Lacey, and work. I wasn’t getting a whole lot of sleep, but I couldn’t remember being happier. I’d put in for five days off at the library and Violet Hill and I’d somehow gotten them. Mostly based on the fact that I almost never took vacation days and rarely called in sick. It paid to be a good employee apparently. I also got ahead on my design work, so I wouldn’t have to do that either. I was going to have five days of complete idleness with Lacey and I couldn’t wait.
“So, are you like, together?” Ruthie asked as we took one of our breaks at work. Lacey was finishing up her interviews and taking some boudoir shots today so she wasn’t here, but she’d pretty much been camping out at the café for the past few days. I was going to miss the sight of her in the corner, concentrating and working hard.
“No. We’re just . .
. I don’t even know what we are. She’s leaving soon. It’s not even a fling because we haven’t had sex.”
“Do you have to have sex to consider it a fling?” I thought about that.
“I don’t even know anything anymore. I’m just going with the flow I guess.” The flow was good. I loved the flow.
“So what happens when she leaves?” I gave her a look.
“Oh, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. But it’s nice to think about someone else’s relationship for a few minutes.” I could understand her need for distraction.
“Sorry,” I said.
“Yeah, it’s okay. I’m moving on. I think. Maybe if I say I’m moving on enough times, it will actually happen.” Ouch. She was in a tough spot.
I wanted to say something comforting, but I couldn’t think of what.
“Shit,” she said, looking down at her phone.
“Break’s over.” So it was.
*^*^*
A few days later was the eve of my five days of idleness.
“So. I have an idea. But I’m not sure if you’re up for it, but hear me out,” Lacey said, putting her hands up to stop any protestations I might have. But I didn’t know what she was going to suggest, so how could I protest?
“Hit me with it,” I said. We were back at the photography studio, hanging out with Murder and talking about our worst school pictures.
“I know I’ve already taken some pictures of you, but I was wondering if maybe . . . maybe you’d want to do a boudoir session? Before I go? Free of charge. No pressure.” I opened my mouth to say “hell no,” but then I thought about it. Why not? Who else would I be comfortable enough with to do something like this? If I put it off, then I was going to be eighty and wondering why I’d never done it. And how bad could it be? Really?
“I think I’ll do it.” Her eyes lit up.
“Really? I mean, not just because I’m excited about the prospect of seeing you in lingerie. I like photographing pretty people.” I bet she did. I laughed.
“You’re hilarious. So, do I have to do anything special?” I didn’t have much in the way of lingerie in my drawers.
“Just bring what you feel comfortable and sexy in. And maybe I’ll have a few little things for you to try on.” Oh, that was interesting. The idea of wearing something Lacey picked out for me turned me on. A lot.
“You’re trying to seduce me,” I said. She giggled.
“Am I that obvious?”
“Uh, yes?” Lacey hid her face.
“I’m not trying to seduce you,” she said, her voice muffled.
“You’re always trying to seduce me. Everything you do seduces me.” She lifted her head.
“Really?”
“Uh, yeah. I honestly don’t know how I keep my hands off you most of the time.” It was a serious challenge. But I wanted to keep things toned down. I was still totally confused about what to do with my feelings for her.
“Well, that’s a bit like the pot calling the kettle black,” she said. I stuck my tongue out at her.
“Real mature.” I shrugged.
“Never said I was.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Okay, so I’ll take your picture and I’ll keep my hands to myself and my seducing to a minimum. How’s that? I can be a professional.” I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t.
“I feel like I should make a bet with you about this,” I said.
“No way. I am really trying here.” She pretended to be serious, but failed. So cute.
“Stop being cute, you’re making it worse.”
“You’re seduced by cute?” Lacey raised one eyebrow.
“Always.”
“Oh, then I’ll try not to be cute.” She batted her eyelashes and pouted her lips and I groaned and threw a pillow at her.
“Stop it!”
“I can’t! I’m just too cute! It’s a disease!” I lunged at her and shoved her against the couch.
“If you don’t stop, I’m going to kiss you.” She gasped.
“Oh, no that would be terrible. The absolute worst thing to ever happen to me. Being kissed by Anna Corcoran. Please, no.” We both giggled and I shoved the pillow out of the way so I could get to her.
But at the last second, I pulled back.
“No, I don’t think I’ll kiss you. Because that’s what you want.” She sat up.
“Are you serious?” Now who was frustrated?
“Yup. I’m not going to kiss you.” I moved away from her and pressed my lips together.
“Meanie,” she said, pouting. Damn, now she was back to being adorable again.
“Takes one to know one.” We were both being totally childish, but I didn’t care at all. I loved being silly with Lacey. It was so nice to be silly with someone.
“Fine, fine,” she said. “I don’t want to kiss you either.”
“Liar.”
She sighed.
“Whatever.”
*^*^*
The morning of my first day of idleness, I woke at my usual time. Of course. But I had a full day with Lacey planned and I was eager to get to it. First up: breakfast.
“I thought you said you were terrible at cooking?” Lacey said when I showed up with a waffle iron and ingredients for waffles.
“I am, but waffles are the one thing I make really well. It’s a gift.” I set the waffle iron on the table next to her coffeemaker and got to work mixing the ingredients. I’d also brought whipped cream and blueberries that I’d pilfered from Violet Hill. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. Plus, Daisy had been watching the whole time I’d been stealing them from the walk-in and hadn’t said a word.
“A gift, huh?” she said, coming up beside me and sliding her hand down my back. I leaned into her and she kissed me on the cheek.
“A gift,” I said, turning so I could meet her lips. She still took my breath away when she kissed me. Every single time. I didn’t know when or if I’d ever find someone who kissed me like that ever again.
“You’re such a good kisser,” she said when she pulled back.
“Am I?” I wasn’t aware that I had any particular talent at it. I mean, I’d never had any complaints, but I’d never won any awards for it either.
“Mmmm, yes. You make me forget about everything.” She made a little groan of frustration and stepped away from me.
“So, I got you some stuff for your shoot. And I can do your hair and makeup if you want. Or if you want to go natural, we can do that too.” I wasn’t sure. I kind of liked the idea of getting all dolled up, but I wasn’t really like that normally. Not that I didn’t wear makeup, but I tended to keep it on the light side. My hair was dramatic enough already.
“Can we do maybe a little bit?” I asked.
“Of course. This is all you. This is all for you. Whatever you want to do that’s what we’ll do.” I liked the sound of that.
“Can I see what you bought?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. This photo shoot was already going to be tough.
Lacey went and got a bag from under the bed.
“So I got a little bit of everything.” She dumped it out on the bed. Oh. She really had gotten everything. There were plain cotton tanks with briefs, lacy bralettes, a sport’s bra, a pair of lacy boxer shorts, a barely-there thong and one other thing. A corset.
“I estimated on the sizes,” she said sheepishly. She’d estimated perfectly.
“They all look good,” I said, running my hands along the pink lace bralette. It had matching panties and was so pretty and delicate. I’d never owned anything like that. I’d always worried the lace would just get torn in the wash.
“You like?” she asked, coming to stand beside me.
“I do. Very much. You didn’t have to do this.” I turned and found her face so close. Her eyes were more gold today. Almost like topaz.
“I wanted to. I wanted to buy something pretty for you to wear.”
I brushed my hand against her cheek.
“Thank you.”
“You
’re welcome.” I paused with our lips just a whisper away from each other.
“Do you think I could maybe see you in something like this,” I asked, brushing my fingers along the lace set again. Lacey blushed like a sunset.
“I don’t know. I’m so self-conscious about my body.” I kissed her nose.
“It’s okay. Just an idea. But no pressure. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, gorgeous.” I put my arms around her and squeezed.
“You’re the best,” Lacey said.
“No, I’m not. I’m terrible.” We both laughed.
“So, anyway,” she said, breaking the hug. “I thought you could pick what you wanted and discard the rest.” I picked up the lace bralette and matching panties and one of the cotton tanks.
“I don’t really think I’m a corset girl. I don’t fancy my ribs being smushed.” I shuddered.
“Yeah, I don’t blame you there. Okay, I’ll take the rest of these back if you don’t want them.” Lacey gathered up the rest of the items and put them back under the bed.
“So, I can get the studio tomorrow for a few hours, if you’re ready to do it.” Oh, wow. That was quick. I was kind of hoping I’d have a few more days to mentally prepare, but whatever. I could do this. I wasn’t going to be naked, for fuck’s sake.
“Sure, sounds good. Do I need to do anything special?” Lacey ran her hand through my hair.
“Just bring your gorgeous self and anything you’d like to wear. I have some jewelry in the studio already if you want to wear some. And some hair accessories, although, I think a simple shoot would be best for you. Is there any music you’d like?” Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. There was a lot to this thing.
“Um, whatever. I’m not picky.” Now I had a full day to stress and hope that she didn’t notice the cellulite on my ass, or the stretch marks on my thighs or that weird little scar I had on my belly from when I fell off my bike.
I mean, I wasn’t obsessed with my flaws, but photo shoots tended to kind of bring that stuff out in the open. I hoped that I looked okay.
“You’re going to be gorgeous,” she said, wrapping some of my hair around her fingers and tugging gently.
“I hope so.”
*^*^*
There was one thing I needed to do before the shoot. Re-dye my hair. Lacey offered to help and I didn’t think she knew what she was in for.