“Great!” I said, squeaking a little. I couldn’t seem to keep my cool around her. It was a real problem. Maybe it was good she was leaving in a week. Then I could get my feet back under me.
*^*^*
I showed up at the studio with my laptop and my professional face on. And then Lacey opened the door with Murder (the cat) in her arms and everything fell away.
“Hey,” I said, feeling the awful urge to giggle.
“Hey, come on in. I was just getting a few cuddles with this monster,” she said, setting the cat down. He immediately wound his way round my legs and purred so hard I thought he was going to hurt himself.
“Little monster,” Lacey said fondly.
“How does he do with all the traveling?” I asked as we headed over to the little office area to sit down. She already had some photos up on the huge desktop and was in the middle of editing.
“He loves it. I swear, he’s like a dog. He sits in the front seat and just purrs away. As long as I don’t take him on a plane, he’s fine. So my car has a lot of miles on it.” Huh, I hadn’t thought of that. A mobile lifestyle. Still couldn’t imagine it.
“That’s good,” I said, sitting down and pulling my laptop out of my bag. “What are you working on?”
She clicked a few things and brought up a seriously sexy picture of a woman wearing black lacy lingerie and laying on a bed, with light streaming through the window. In fact, that very bed was in the room over in a corner. I recognized other areas of the studio too.
“Amazing,” I said. The woman was totally gorgeous. All smoky eyes and red lips and a smile on her face as if she’d just gotten herself off.
“I think so,” she said, and clicked through a few more of the pictures. There were people of all shapes and sizes, femme and butch and everything in between. Lacey had the knack of bringing out the beauty in everyone and each shoot was completely unique and worked for that person.
“You’re really good at this,” I said, looking from the picture to her.
“I really appreciate that. It’s my life’s work to help people feel good about themselves.” Well, I’d say she was succeeding.
“I’ve always wanted to do something like that, but I didn’t have a reason. You know, most people get them taken for someone.” Like a husband or girlfriend or someone for Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have anyone like that in my life and hadn’t for a long time. I missed things like that.
“Why not do it for you?” she asked and I didn’t have a good answer.
“I guess I’m only going to be this young once.” Someday, I’d look back on this body and wish for it when I was old and saggy and sad.
“I mean, if you wanted to. I could take some for you.” I blushed so red that I had to look away from her. I couldn’t imagine being that vulnerable in front of Lacey, since I’d been developing a serious crush on her. She was going to be gone so soon, so letting that crush further crush me wasn’t the best idea.
“That’s okay,” I said, wishing my cheeks weren’t blazing. I looked down and coughed and Lacey closed the window on the computer.
“So, should we get to work?” she asked. I nodded and put my attention back on my laptop. Work. Right. The thing I was supposed to be doing right now.
I blinked a few times and pulled up Photoshop. I was working on a Facebook banner for a client for her upcoming release.
Lacey went back to her computer and we got down to business for a few minutes, with the only sounds being the clicking of laptop keys.
It was awkward. For me, at least. I couldn’t focus on what I was doing. I was too busy watching her. This was a ridiculous idea. There was no way I could concentrate on pixels when she was sitting so near me, her light brown brows furrowed in concentration. She rested her chin on one hand and I admired the graceful arch of her spine. Everything she did was so careful. So elegant. I felt like a total klutz in comparison. Bumbling and awkward.
“You’re staring at me,” she said, and I almost died right there.
“Sorry,” I said. She swiveled in her chair and stared right back.
“It’s okay,” she said.
“Is it?” I asked, licking my lips. They were extremely dry for some reason.
“Yeah. You can look at me all you want.”
“Do you want me to look at you?” I needed some clarity, but I was terrified of getting it. So far, things seemed to be going in a good direction. But I’d been wrong before. Many times. I had a habit of misreading situations and getting myself into trouble.
Lacey started laughing.
“I feel like I’m too old to be coy. I like you. And I am getting the feeling that you like me?” she asked. I nodded.
“You’re into me?” I asked, my voice squeaking. I was really failing at this. She was probably going to second-guess everything now that I’d started talking.
“Yeah, little bit. Is that okay?” Was she serious?
“You’re asking me if it’s okay that a ridiculously sexy woman is somehow into me? Uh, yeah. It’s pretty much okay.” I laughed a little hysterically. I really was blowing it.
“Ridiculously sexy? Oh, I like that,” she said, getting up from her chair and coming toward me.
“You are. Ridiculously sexy.” She leaned down and took my laptop off my knees and set it on the floor.
“Well, I think you’re ridiculously sexy,” she said, leaning forward and then pausing with her face a breath away from mine. “Do you think I could kiss you?” My answer was to push forward and meet her lips with mine.
Oh. Wow. It was a sweet kiss. A brief kiss. But it was perfect. Her mouth curved into a smile.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment I met you,” she said. We were so close I could count her eyelashes.
“Really?” I asked, breathless. I’d forgotten that I needed to keep breathing. The kiss had knocked me completely off my axis. Just one little kiss.
“Yeah. But I wasn’t sure if you were into me, or available or . . . anyway.” I almost burst out laughing because this was somehow happening.
“I am. Into you and available.” She licked her bottom lip.
“Good.” She leaned in for another kiss. My fingers curled against the back of her neck and pulled her closer. We were at an awkward angle, but it didn’t matter. Lacey was a damn good kisser.
Damn good.
Something brushed against my leg and I jumped, but it was just Murder. I laughed and Lacey picked him up.
“Little brat. You always get mad when the attention is not on you.” She nuzzled him and he purred like a tank. Way to clam-jam, Murder.
Lacey growled at Murder and set him down.
“Sorry about that,” she said, her cheeks just a little pink.
“It’s okay,” I said, wondering when we’d be going back to kissing. Or something more. There was a bed in here and a lock on the door.
“There’s just one little thing I think we should talk about before we go further,” she said. Dammit. Of course there was a catch. There was always a catch.
“And what’s that?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
“The fact that I’m leaving in a few days.” Oh, that. I’d completely forgotten about that because of the kissing.
“Right,” I said. “I mean, that sucks, but can’t we still have fun for a few days?” I wasn’t really looking for anything long-term anyway. My feelings for Lacey were strong, but I’d had strong feelings before. I guess I was fickle. I fell hard and fast, but then I somehow moved on to the next shiny person. It would be nice to have something for a little while.
“You’re okay with something quick?” she asked.
“I mean, if you are. I am. You’re hot and I’m into you and you’re a great kisser and you’re smart and interesting and I would like to spend some time with you. Whatever that means.” It wasn’t exactly the best sales pitch, but it was the best I could do.
Lacey laughed a little.
“You’re so cute. So fucking cute
.”
“Thank you,” I said, blushing a little.
“And you’re okay with the whole trans thing? I haven’t asked, because I wasn’t sure,” she said. I’d dated a trans guy before. I’d been totally in love with him and then he’d shattered my heart. But that didn’t have anything to do with him being trans. We just weren’t a good fit. Different places in our lives and all that.
“Of course. One of my boyfriends was a trans dude. And I’ve dated people without genders and with genders that changed while we were together and every kind of person in between. I like who I like.” She seemed to visibly relax. Shit. I probably should have said something sooner.
“You know that I don’t care, right? That it’s not a problem, at all?”
She let out a shaky breath. “I mean, I figured, but you really never know with people. I’ve only been out for a few years, so I’m still working on the whole coming out part. I’ve known I was bi since I was eleven, so that hasn’t really been an issue. But the trans part is . . .” she trailed off.
“Yeah, I know. And thank you for telling me and trusting me.” I stood and rose up a few inches to kiss her.
“You’re so sexy, Lacey,” I said. “So fucking sexy.” I put my arms around her neck and pressed closer to her.
“Mmm, so are you. I’m a sucker for a girl with purple hair.”
I giggled. “Is that so?”
“It is.”
We kissed again and it set my blood on fire. I got closer and closer until I was pushing her back and then we crashed into her chair.
“Oops,” I said and she smiled.
“No worries.”
I stuck my tongue back in her mouth and she made a little moaning sound. It turned me on so fucking much I thought I was going to die. Now that I had her, I just wanted more, more, more. I wanted her naked and spread out for me to enjoy. But I knew that she might not be as comfortable with that. So I was going to take her lead and see where she wanted us to go.
Her fingers started to move up my shirt and I was hoping we were on the way to getting naked, but then she stopped.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her face going red. It was the first time I’d seen her less-than confident.
“It’s okay,” I said, taking her hands and kissing the backs of them.
“Is it?” she asked. “I just . . . I’m a little self-conscious when I’m with someone new.” I kissed her softly.
“It’s okay. We can go at whatever speed you want to. Would you . . .” I trailed off, trying to think of what we could do in a small town at this late hour. Everything was closed.
“How about we just sit and talk?” she suggested. That was good enough for me.
“Sure,” I said. I looked around the studio and there were chairs and the bed, but no couch or anything.
“I’m staying down the street at the Violet Hill Inn, if you maybe wanted to go there? I have a couch in my room. No pressure, or anything.” That actually sounded nice. The Violet Hill Inn was an adorable little place, perfect for tourists. It was the off-season now, so I bet she was getting one of the best rooms at a low rate. I’d worked there a few summers in high school as a housekeeper and I still remembered the layout and which rugs were the hardest to clean.
“Sure, sounds good.” It was within walking distance, as were most things around here. Didn’t look like we were going to get much done tonight.
“We could also do the interview there, if you want. Or maybe not. I don’t want to push you about doing it if you feel weird about it.” I shook my head.
“I don’t feel weird. I think we should still do it.” Plus, it might keep my mind off thinking about kissing her.
“Only if you’re sure,” she said, saving her work and then shutting down her computer.
“I am.”
Four
I was right about Lacey getting the best room at the Violet Hill Inn. She’d even managed to get herself the suite that had its own entrance. They didn’t accept cats, so she’d left Murder at the studio.
“Pretty nice,” I said, as she let me in.
“Yeah, it’s not too bad. Much nicer than the last place I stayed. I kind of hate hotels, so I was glad there wasn’t one here.” Yeah, there wasn’t much around here. The closest chain hotel was probably forty minutes away.
The place was cozy and had new furniture since I’d been here last.
“Sorry about the mess.” It was a little cluttered with photography equipment, a couple suitcases and some clothes thrown here and there on chairs. No underwear though. I wasn’t sure who would be more embarrassed by that, her or me.
“It’s nice,” I said as she cleared off a little loveseat.
“Do you want anything? I have a microwave, a minifridge, and a coffeemaker. It’s a pretty nice setup.”
“Some tea would be great,” I said.
“I have that too.” She walked over and got out a mug to heat up some water for tea and I looked around the rest of the room. There were things everywhere and it felt intimate. Like I was seeing a side of her that I shouldn’t be seeing yet.
“Here you go,” she said, handing me my tea. “So, do you want to do the interview first or maybe do something else? And I don’t mean kissing.” I laughed a little.
“I’m trying not to kiss you right now, and talking about kissing just makes me think even more about it. So.” She sipped from her steaming mug.
“Yeah, I’m having some issues too. We probably should have done the interview before the kissing.” Yeah, probably. Oops.
“I’ve never been good at doing things in the right order.” Lacey smiled and I set my tea down.
“Sorry,” I said as I leaned over and kissed her again.
“Don’t be,” she said into my mouth. We kissed and kissed until I didn’t know why I hadn’t spent most my time kissing Lacey Cole. There were goosebumps all over my skin and I didn’t have any blood running to my brain anymore. I was so fucking turned on that I was nearly shaking.
“Are you okay?” she asked, pulling back and putting her hand on my cheek. God, her eyes were so beautiful.
“Yeah. I just . . . I want you. A lot.” I wasn’t going to lie. She was so damn sexy. Just . . . everything about her got to me.
“Mmm, I want you too,” she said, closing her eyes briefly and making a little sound of desire. Why did she have to do that? It just made things worse.
“Well,” I said. “What are you going to do about it?” I bit my bottom lip and she groaned and rested her forehead on my shoulder.
“Why are you doing this to me? It’s like you were thrown in my path to destroy all my focus and turn my brain into a lust monster.” I giggled a little bit at the use of “lust monster.” I’d never thought of it that way, but it was an apt description.
“I’m sorry?” I said, and she just raised her face and grinned at me.
“You’re not sorry. Not even a little bit.”
I giggled. “Not really. Because you’re doing the same thing to me.” Lacey put some space between us and leaned back.
“Yeah, I think we should do the interview. Maybe if I get myself in professional mode, I’ll stop thinking about taking your clothes off.” She was trying to kill me. Seriously.
But I nodded and moved to other end of the couch.
“Sure.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and then another.
“Okay. Back to professional mode.”
I waited while she got out another laptop and came back over, folding her legs up on the couch and then setting the computer on them.
“So. If there’re any questions you feel uncomfortable with, just let me know and I’ll move on. You only tell me what you want to tell me, okay?” I nodded. I was pretty open about most of my shit, so I wasn’t particularly bothered about what she might ask. Sure, I did have people who, when I explained I was pansexual, asked me if I loved cookware.
“How about we start with how long you’re been working at the café.” Oh, right.
&nbs
p; “Um, about two years, I think? Yeah, that seems about right.” Wow, it didn’t seem like it had been that long.
“And how did you get the job?” I went into the story of meeting Jen randomly at a rally for Planned Parenthood and realized that she was one of the owners of the café in town. We’d struck up a conversation about witty protest signs and she’d essentially given me a job on the spot. It had been perfect timing because I’d needed one desperately.
“What does it mean to you, as a part of the LGBTQ community to work at a place that celebrates you?” Lacey asked. I had to think about that one for a minute.
“It means that I can be myself. That I can talk about my life and not worry about hiding. That I can be a girl who dates girls, or a girl who dates someone of any or no gender, and it’s embraced and celebrated. It’s the most freeing, comfortable thing in the world. It’s my family.” I wiped at my cheeks and found tears. Wow.
“It felt like a safe place for you. Is your family supportive of you?” I snorted and wiped my eyes on my sleeve.
“That’s a no. I’m pretty sure my mom is just praying I’ll settle down and marry a nice boy and have babies and go to PTA meetings like a ‘regular’ person.” I put “regular” in air quotes.
“Hm, sounds familiar,” Lacey said as she typed. I knew so little about her and I wanted to know everything. Yet here I was, spilling my guts.
“She’s also horrified about my hair,” I said, pulling a strand in front of my eyes and studying it. “The first time I dyed it she grounded me for a week.” Ah, memories. I was a rebellious teenager and I didn’t give a fuck about my parent’s rules. Sure, I understood why they had some of them. But others were just made so that we could appear to be a nice, normal family. When we very much weren’t.
“I don’t like to think about my family,” I said. We might live in the same town, but I avoided them as much as I could. I was an expert at dodging my parents in the grocery store if I saw them.