Char didn’t answer him as she moved to the ladder and began slowly climbing down, but just before her head disappeared she whispered. “Yourself, Jake. Just be yourself.”
Chapter Thirty-six
Char woke to yelling. After her odd conversation with Jake where she was at least eighty percent sure he was drunk, she’d faked a headache and gone to bed, skipping dessert and family game night.
With a groan she picked up her cell and looked at the time. One a.m.? Were they still up?
Not thinking, she swung her feet over the side of the bed and hit something soft. It groaned, then cursed as it pulled her feet out from underneath her, causing her to land with a thud against it.
“Jake?” She breathed.
“No, it’s some other half-starved, half-drunk, crazy seagull-talking lunatic. Yes, it’s me, Jake. Who else would be sleeping on your floor?”
“Good point.”
“You can get off me now.” He grunted.
“Why are you talking to seagulls?”
“That’s all you took from that last statement? Not even gonna ask about the whole starving or drunk thing, just straight to the seagulls?”
Char moved away from his warm body and sighed audibly. “It’s simple subtraction.”
“Huh?”
“Which thing is not like the other? Food and alcohol go hand in hand. Seagull taking? Not so much.”
“Either you’re brilliant or drunk. I can’t decide which.” The tone of his voice was gravelly. “Why the hell did you step on me? Better yet, why are you out of bed?”
“I heard a noise.”
“It’s called breathing, Char. Some people need to do it in order to live.”
“Shut up, you ass.” She pushed him down and walked toward the door. “It was more than that. It was like a scratching or something.”
“So, we have a squirrel problem.” He sounded bored.
“You hate squirrels.”
“Let them get me! You hear that, squirrels? I’m ready for you!” Jake lifted his hands into the air and sighed.
“How much beer did you have?”
With a curse he struggled to his feet. “Clearly not enough. Otherwise I would still be passed out right now, instead of having this ridiculous conversation with you.”
He moved into the moonlight.
Char’s mouth went completely dry.
The man was a god.
How had she forgotten that?
Thick-corded muscles lined his abs and plunged into his pajama pants. Every part of him was smooth and tan. Just… way too beautiful to be real. She stepped forward. Was it possible for a man to be Photoshopped? In real life? In person?
Curious, she pressed a hand to his chest. He was so damn warm, and hard. Dang, but his body was hard.
“Char?” His voice was hoarse. “Are you sure you’re not sleep-walking?”
Jerking her hand back, she laughed nervously. “I thought I saw a, um, scratch, just there.” She pointed to the perfectly smooth skin on his chest.
“A scratch?” Jake’s eyebrows rose. “Really? Well, if you’re so concerned I’m sure I can take off my pants and you can check everywhere else. Wouldn’t want me not waking up in the morning. I’ve heard scratches can turn septic.” He winked.
“Ass.” Char pushed against him and reached for the door, opening it a crack.
“Char,” Jake groaned. “I’m exhausted. Like I said, it’s probably nothing—”
With a curse, Char hit him directly in his hard stomach and told him to shut up, then pointed to the hallway.
Sure enough, Kacey was making her way down the hall toward Travis’s room. His door was open. He was mouthing directions to her and pointing to the floor. Did he expect her to army crawl? And then he made a motion with his hands and cupped his ear.
“Hmm,” Char whispered. “Squeaky floor?”
“Yup.” Jake chuckled; his breath was warm on her neck.
“You know where the spots are?”
“Oh yeah.” He moved past her out into the hall and looked smugly from Travis to Kacey.
Kacey’s eyes narrowed. She made a cutting signal with her hand across her throat then flipped him off.
Like a lunatic, Travis was making obscene gestures toward Jake. It looked like he was threatening him, but Char couldn’t tell. It was like watching a mime get angry. His hands were everywhere in the air, but it was too comical to mean anything.
And Grandma, bless her heart, was sitting in a recliner in the middle of the hallway. Mouth ajar, snoring louder than sin. Her leopard print pajamas practically glowed in the moonlight, and her face was covered with one of those creepy sleep masks with the eyes painted on as if to say, she’s always watching.
Jake took a tentative step toward Grandma.
Kacey waved her hands frantically.
Char covered her mouth to hide her laugh.
Kacey glared in her direction.
A loud creak sounded down the hall. Jake took another step. The second creak was even louder.
Travis began banging his head softly against the wall.
Kacey looked like she’d started praying.
And then, all of a sudden, Grandma moved. Without pulling the mask up, she pulled a gun from underneath the cushion and pointed it directly at Travis.
“You sneaking out, son?”
Char’s mouth dropped open as Jake hurried back to their room and stood near safety.
“I, uh…” Travis closed his eyes. “Do it. Just kill me. I’m miserable enough as it is. Sorry Kacey, I can’t do it. I can’t make it; if that makes me weak, so be it.”
“Kacey!” Grandma scolded, pulling back her mask so she could see. “And to think! I was blaming poor Travis for this fiasco, but look at you! Halfway down the hall! You little hussy.”
Jake snickered behind Char.
“Both of you!” Grandma waved the gun around in the air. Travis eyed it tentatively while Kacey slumped against the wall.
“Now.” Grandma pointed the gun at Travis. “Back in your room. Go to bed. You’ll be married soon, and then you can have all the sex you want.”
“Grandma just said ‘sex’.” Jake commented behind Char. “I think this is my favorite night ever.”
“And you!” Grandma pointed the gun at Kacey. “Stop tempting him! He’s a boy! He can’t help his urges.”
“Just kidding,” Jake said. “ ‘Urges’, ‘urges’ trumps ‘sex’.”
“Now! The both of you, back into your rooms so you can put this fornicating business behind you!”
“There it is,” Char whispered. “The winner of the night.”
“Fornication.” Jake held out his hand from behind Char. She gave him a high five before they slowly closed their door.
Grandma called out their names.
“Quick!” Char yelled. “Get on the floor! This is not a drill!”
Jake dove for the pillow and face planted onto his blankets just as Char sprawled across her bed. The door clicked open.
Grandma sighed. “Such good kids, so well-behaved.”
When the door shut, Char exhaled loudly. “That was close.”
“I’m curious.”
“About?”
“She had a whistle this morning… and now she has a gun. I swear my dad locks the gun cabinet for that very reason. He even hides the ammo.”
“I’ve stopped asking why when it comes to Grandma.”
Jake laughed. The sound of his voice caused a warmth to drape over Char as she moved to her side and looked over the edge of the bed.
Jake glanced up. “What? Looking for more scratches? My offer still stands, you know.” With a wink he moved his hands to the band of his pajama pants and began sliding them off.
Char covered her eyes. “Keep your pants on.”
“Hmm,” Jake said. “I think that’s the first time a girl’s actually asked that while in the same room with me in the dark.”
“How’s it feel?”
“Stings a bit.”
Char’s eyes were still closed when she felt Jake’s hands on her cheeks. She had no choice then but to open them and feel the full force of what his hazel eyes did to her. He smiled, a real, hot, honest-to-goodness, soul bearing, I’m-going-to–sell-my-grandmother-to-North Korea-in-order-to-marry-this-man smile. “It always stings before it gets better.”
“W-what?” Words weren’t really forming well, not with his hands on her, his shirtless torso before her, and his eyes gazing at her face as if she was the most gorgeous woman he’d ever encountered.
“Scratches. They always sting before they heal. So it stings to get rejected, but I think in the end it will be worth it.”
“You should drink more often,” Char joked. “You get all sentimental.”
“It’s not the drink,” Jake murmured, his lips so close to hers she could almost taste him. “Good night, Char.”
“ ’Night.” Her voice was foreign and airy to her as Jake released her face and slid back down onto his makeshift bed. “Sweet dreams.”
He turned on his side and gave her another one of his megawatt smiles. “If you hear your name, you’ll know why.”
And melt.
Well, crap.
Char managed a smile before she lay back in the bed and waged war within herself. What if Jake really was changing? What if he was trying and she missed it because she was too focused on Jace?
Jace was interested.
Jake was a gamble.
Add another sleepless night to her list of growing problems. Not to mention the fact that every single phone call from work had been ignored.
Him. She’d always wanted him, and now that he was right in front of her, actually vulnerable and trying, she owed it to herself to try, too.
She was going to do it.
Possibly lose her job, and her heart, all over again, on the slim chance that the boy from junior high camp really did want to kiss her back.
Chapter Thirty-seven
It was settled.
Karma had come and gone, and in its place it had gifted Jake a heart. One that was so irritatingly tender that he was about five seconds away from losing his mind.
She smiled.
He got giddy, actually giddy, as in his heart did a little flip in his chest. When Char offered to go with him into town, he was actually excited.
Right. Excited that he was spending the afternoon with Char at the courthouse.
What the hell?
Two months ago he would have wanted to kill himself.
And now—now he was looking forward to just spending time with Char, a girl, a woman to be exact. The longest date he’d had in years was taking place at a courthouse. That had to be a bad sign.
Grandma had forgotten to pick up the license after Kacey and Travis stopped by to show that they were in fact who they said they were.
At any rate, all Jake had to do, as the best man, was pick up the license and then take Char out to lunch. Not too hard. Granted, it seemed ridiculous that he of all people had to do it, but Grandma had thrown such a fit that morning over coffee that he would have said yes to anything including going to Africa to fight for lion rights—if it would just get her to stop talking. Travis and Kacey were busy doing some last-minute scheduling with the wedding band and everyone else was helping set up, so that left him and Char.
Char had been eager to get out of the house, what with Grandma following her around snapping orders.
Jace had asked to come with them.
Jake’s answer? Not a chance in hell, and Grandma, bless her heart, claimed to need Jace at the last minute, which was most likely a falsehood. Not that he cared; the situation had totally worked in his favor.
The courthouse wasn’t too far from their house. They had just opened by the time he and Char walked up to the registrar.
“Can I help you?” The elderly lady asked. She had owl-shaped glasses perched low on her nose, bright red lipstick, and a loud electric blue shirt. It was almost like looking at Grandma’s doppelgänger.
“Yes,” Jake said smoothly. “We need to pick up the license for the Titus wedding.”
“Oh.” The lady’s face fell. “Just one moment, I’ll just…” Shaking, she mumbled something under her breath as she searched through a file on her desk.
Char chewed her lower lip, drumming her nails against the countertop while the lady searched. Jake, being the lunatic he now was, watched Char. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, giving him the perfect picture of her high cheekbones and graceful neck. He wanted to reach out and touch her, to feel her smooth skin under his hand.
“Here’s the thing.” The lady cleared her throat. “I don’t have it.”
“Sorry, what?” Jake snapped his attention away from Char and looked at the lady. “The license? But they’re getting married this weekend.”
“Right.” The lady smiled nervously. Lipstick stained her two front teeth. “I have an idea, but I could get fired…”
“I’m all ears.” Jake tried to stay calm. “Because they need that piece of paper by Sunday evening.”
“We can expedite the process. I’ll fudge the date, but I’ll need to leave the names blank on the license.”
“Why?” Char asked. “Can’t you just type them in and fudge the entire thing?”
“They’ll know,” the lady whispered, motioning behind her to all the other people working in the office. “And like I said, I could get fired.”
Jake groaned and looked at Char. “What do we do?”
“Well, we need a license!” Char exhaled. “Okay, fine, we’ll do it. What do you need from us?”
“Sally.” A woman approached. “Is everything okay over here?”
“Perfect!” Sally exclaimed. “These young people were just picking up their marriage license! They’re getting married this week!” Her eyes pleaded with theirs.
“Right!” Jake nudged Char. “We are so excited. Aren’t we, sweetie pie?”
“Sure, Twinkie pants.” Char’s teeth clenched. “So, so, so very excited for this holy union.”
“In front of God.” Jake nodded. “And our family.”
Char nodded emphatically. “It’s just too bad I got knocked up before the wedding, huh?”
“I wouldn’t say bad.” Jake’s eyes narrowed as his grip around her shoulders tightened. “In fact I would say it was very, very, very good.”
Char shrugged. “It was all right.”
Sally and the lady chuckled.
“If you get my meaning.” Char winked.
“We are so in love!” Jake shouted, trying to cause a distraction so Char wouldn’t continue talking about his level of sexual prowess.
“Oh.” Sally clapped. “I almost forgot. I’ll need your driver’s licenses just to prove you are who you say you are.”
With a kick, Char stepped on Jake’s foot then handed over her license.
Muttering a curse, Jake pulled out his.
“They check out!” Sally beamed.
The lady behind her disappeared.
Everyone exhaled.
“I’m so sorry,” Sally said. “I know I’m being unprofessional. Now remember, you have to fill in the names of the two parties and then the witnesses, all righty?”
“Perfect.” Jake took the piece of paper and winked. “How much do we owe you for the license?”
“Sixty dollars cash.” Sally held out her hand.
Jake almost choked. “Sixty dollars? To get a piece of paper?” Was it printed on gold? Who the hell paid sixty dollars for something that took two seconds to type out?
Char elbowed him in the ribs. Luckily he always carried cash, so he pulled out three twenty dollar bills and handed them over.
“Thank you so much!” Sally winked. “And congratulations.”
Jake stared at her for a minute. Why did she look so familiar?
“Oh, look! Lunch break!” Sally stood. “Now off you go!”
“It’s ten,” Jake pointed out.
“I like
to eat.” Sally walked off.
Jake stared after her.
“Let’s go.” Char grabbed the manila envelope with the license in it. “Mission accomplished, and you Grandma swore you’d make it worth my while and buy me lunch.”
Actually, his goal was to take her on a date, but she didn’t have to know that. It would freak her out; hell, it was freaking him out. He was actually going to do this. Was he ready? Would he ever be ready to take that plunge?
His manhood was on holiday, his brain was fuzzy from last night, and Char’s short white shorts weren’t helping matters.
“Hello?” She picked up her ringing cell phone. “Right. Okay, yeah, not a problem. Uh.” She flushed and looked away from Jake. “I don’t think that—” She cringed. “Fine, okay, yeah.”
“You all right?”
“Sure.” Char waved him off. “It was nothing, just work.”
“They do know you’re on vacation, right?”
“Vacation and Grandma don’t exactly fit in the same sentence.”
“Tell me about it,” he grumbled as he turned the car toward his favorite coffee shop. “I can talk to your boss, you know, if you want.”
The car fell silent.
“My boss?” Char laughed. “What are you going to do? Waltz in there, throw your name around, and make my problems go away?”
“So he is giving you problems.”
“Drop it, Jake. You’re not my big brother protecting me from the bullies on the playground.”
“Hell no, not a brother. I was thinking more of a superhero, like Superman, sweeping in to fix everything.”
Char rolled her eyes and laughed; there went more giddiness. “So you’d pick Superman.”
“Yes.” Jake exhaled and pulled into the coffee shop. “If for no other reason than wearing super tight Speedo-like pants so everyone on God’s green earth could see that I don’t wear extra small condoms.”
He should have remembered the window was open.
A woman getting into her car gasped.
Her small child asked, “Mama, what’s a condom?”
Jake didn’t think it would be appropriate to say a toy, so he just smiled and mouthed sorry to the mother, all the while thinking God hated him.
“I think you should have explained that.” Char laughed, unbuckling her seatbelt when they’d parked.