And I would have to tell them that Atthis was dead.
There was so much to be imparted that it exhausted me merely to think of it, and despite the revelations of the last hour, my habit of secrecy was so deeply ingrained that I would have to overcome my own reluctance to tell what must be told.
2
SUDDENLY RESTLESS, I got up and began to walk again. I noticed a long lush strip of grass running across a clearing and turned toward it. As I had guessed, I found a stream meandering through the grass. The weeds growing in it told me it was untainted, and besides, if the lake was clean, the stream must be, too, since it obviously emptied into the larger body of water. I knelt and drank from it; then on impulse, I stripped off my clothes and slipped into the water. Despite being narrow, the stream was deeper than it looked, and very cold. I sank into it up to my breasts, gasping, and then I took a deep breath and ducked my shoulders and head under. For a moment the cold seemed to freeze my brain, and then it felt wonderful.
I surfaced, gasped in a breath of air, and ducked under again to massage the dust from my hair and scalp vigorously. Then I climbed out and pinched some lemonleaf growing on the bank to give myself a thorough rubdown before drying myself with my sweaty shirt. Dressed in my trousers and jacket, I belted it and then twisted my hair into a knot before I washed my shirt and underthings. By the time I had finished, I was shivering despite the sunlight falling into the clearing, for there was little warmth in it, and the thought of a fire and some more hot stew was enticing enough that I set off back in the direction of the camp.
But I had not gone far when I spotted Gahltha grazing with Faraf and two other horses on a grassy patch of the riverbank. I recognized Ahmedri’s mare, Falada, and the other was the big, older gray Sendari, who had long been Swallow’s mount. As I went toward them, their heads lifted and Gahltha gave a soft neigh of greeting before trotting to me with a faint swagger that made me wonder who he had been courting. It pleased me to think he would find comfort with another mare, for it seemed that he and the mountain pony Avra had parted once and for all. I ought not to feel sad about this, I knew, because horses dealt differently with such things than humans did, and yet I had felt that Avra’s withdrawal had saddened Gahltha, confirming his belief that as a horse that had been owned by humans, he was less worthy than a wild horse.
I put down my bundle of wet clothes and laid both cold hands and my cheek against Gahltha’s warm neck. The contact and the fact that he had entered my mind meant I needed to exert no energy to beastspeak him.
“I am sorry I did not offer you a proper greeting earlier, my dear one, but I was just so astonished to find so many funaga here, where I had thought to find you alone,” I sent.
“The funaga are your friends/companions, ElspethInnle,” Gahltha sent, his voice a deep, soft rumble in my mind.
“I know,” I sent; then I widened my range and bespoke all of them. “I want to thank you for carrying those funaga who came to help me in my quest.”
“Greetings, ElspethInnle,” Sendari sent very formally. “I am honored to serve your quest to free beasts from their bondage to the funaga.”
I misliked his words, for they reminded me that Atthis had been spreading a tale among beasts for years that I was a mythical Seeker from beastlegend, destined to free them from the tyranny of humans. Why they could not simply be told the truth of my quest, I did not know. It had been one of the things I meant to ask Atthis, but now I would never have an answer. The only thing that kept me from exposing the lie now was the knowledge that it might cause the horses to turn from me, and my real quest was as important to beasts as to humans.
So now I merely said, “I am afraid I have another task first, and one that is like to prove long and difficult and dangerous. I must find and destroy the weaponmachines that caused the Great White.”
“It does not matter,” Sendari sent. “I/we have sworn to serve Innle in all ways until the beasts are free.”
“Did the oldOnes bid you go with Swallow?” I asked.
“The funaga-ha who rides me is lecuna-Innle.”
“That means one who serves the Seeker,” Gahltha explained, shielding his words so that the other horses would not hear him. Few beasts had that capacity, but Gahltha, like Maruman, was strong of mind. I stroked his neck lovingly, noting the shine to his mane, and wondered idly who had brushed it.
“There were many horses that would have been glad to carry a lecuna-Innle, some younger and more fleet, but I/Sendari, was chosen, for I am strong/steadfast and my mind does not bolt or shy easily,” the gray announced.
“I, too, am honored to serve you/ElspethInnle,” Falada said.
“I thank you,” I said gently. I realized my irritation with her rider had faded, somewhat because it had been largely born of my frustration with Ahmedri’s infuriating certainty that I would do what he wished me to do.
Faraf nuzzled at my cheek and said shyly that she was, too, and was glad to be permitted to carry a lecuna-Innle, whom she had come to love, but most of all she was glad to be able to repay me for saving her life in Sador, when I had yielded to the traitorous rebel leader Malik in the Battlegames.
“There is no debt, for I put you in danger by miscalculating my opponent’s ruthlessness,” I said. “Yet he is dead and we live.”
“How did he die?” she asked curiously.
“He died because his allies did not trust him,” I said. Then I asked all of them if they had seen anything of Maruman.
“The Moonwatcher sleeps in a tree,” Gahltha sent. “Shall I show you where he bides/hides?”
“Let him sleep,” I said, relieved to know that Gahltha was keeping track of him. “I would be glad of a few hours’ sleep myself if I was not chilled to the bone from my bath.”
“I would be glad to give you my warmth,” Faraf offered.
Aware that it would please the little mare and glad of a reason to avoid the others and their questions for a little longer, I accepted her offer. Faraf found a soft patch of sunlit grass and settled herself as I hung my wet clothes over a bush to dry a little, and then I asked Sendari to let Swallow know that I would return later. Finally I lay down gratefully against Faraf’s warm, soft flank. Her sweet scent rose around me, and when Gahltha settled on the other side of me, their combined warmth drove away the last bit of chill from my bones.
Dozing on the edge of sleep, I listened to their conversation for a time, fascinated by the formality of equine beastspeech when no human was involved, but eventually my eyes drooped and I slept.
It was a deep, warm, blessedly dreamless sleep and I woke much refreshed to see that the sun was on the verge of setting. I had not intended to sleep the whole day away, and yet I felt much refreshed and able to face the barrage of questions I had sensed the others had been biting back since my appearance.
I roused the horses and gathered my clothes. They were all but dry, as was my hair, for it had come loose from its knot and had dried in stiff spikes full of grass seeds and horse hair. I was in the midst of trying to comb it with my fingers when Ahmedri appeared, arms piled high with what looked to be apple-sized balls of mud.
“Why have you followed me?” I asked.
Unhurriedly, the handsome tribesman set down his burden and gave me a burning look. “You swore that I might ride with you until I learned the whereabouts of my brother’s bones,” he said in a cold, intense voice. “I see you know how to keep your word.”
I was momentarily startled to realize that he was as angry with me as I had been with him! Then my own temper kindled. I raised my chin, irritated that the tribesman was too tall that I could not look down my nose at him. But I kept my voice cool and mild as I said, “I agreed only that you might remain at Obernewtyn. You assumed this meant you could remain with me.”
“Despite your slyness, I am here and I will remain with you until the woman is found,” the tribesman said abrasively.
I gritted my teeth and held on to my temper. “It must be obvious to you by now t
hat the overguardian was mistaken in her futuretelling, or perhaps Bruna misinterpreted her words. For who is there to have imprisoned Miryum in these mountains but wolves and firelizards?”
“My brother’s spirit will lead you to the woman,” Ahmedri said, steadfastly stubborn.
“Since when do the dead speak to the living?” I demanded.
“My brother’s spirit will speak to you when you open your mind to him,” he answered loftily.
I glared at him. “As to my mind being open, it sometimes feels like a passageway full of doors I cannot close. But your brother does not enter.”
“You have not opened the proper door,” Ahmedri said.
I drew a breath to calm myself. “Tribesman, what possible reason would Miryum have had for bringing your brother here?”
“It is said madness possessed her after Straaka died, and so it may be that she had no reason that any sane person could understand,” he answered. “But she is here—I have no doubt, for you are here and you are destined to lead me to her.”
I sighed and suddenly my anger leaked away. “You should go back to Obernewtyn,” I said wearily.
“I will stay,” he said curtly.
He bent to scoop up the round balls, and I followed at a distance as he went back to the camp, arriving in time to hear him telling Swallow and Analivia, “These are firenuts. We find them in the desert lands close to the great escarpment. They are light and they burn hotter and longer than wood. We should take as many of them as we can when we leave this place.” Ignoring me, he knelt and began peeling a light husk from the outside of one of the balls, explaining that the outer fiber could be used as kindling. Analivia went to help him, and I went to the fire to warm myself.
“The Twentyfamilies believe it is possible for a spirit of the dead to speak,” Swallow said mildly, looking up at me.
Half shamed by the way I had flounced off earlier, I could not think how to answer. In truth, to respond properly would have required me to speak about the dreamtrails and the mindstream and the way flesh and spirit were linked but were also capable of being separated. And given what Maruman had told me of Atthis and the oldOnes, my own ideas on the matter of spirits and death were none too clear at the moment.
Gahltha and the horses had come to graze close by the camp, and something made me glance toward them. They were all as still as statues, gazing eastward, ears pricked. I turned to see dozens of wolves pouring from a narrow opening partway up the steep wall of the valley surrounding us, and my heart leaped into my throat.
Urgently I told Gahltha to lead the horses around the western side of the lake and to remain there until I summoned them. I did not wait to see them gallop away. I turned to the others and shouted for them to build up the fire as hot and bright as they could.
It was Ahmedri who acted first. The tribesman deftly scooped up the firenuts and hurled them into the flames, which immediately leaped at them hungrily. Swallow and Ana began throwing other fuel on—mostly bits of wood they had gathered.
I turned to gaze around the valley, seeking a sign of the wolves approaching. There was no sign of Rasial or Gavyn. If there had been time, I would have tried to locate Rasial with a probe, but as it was, I was sure she would scent the wolves and keep Gavyn away. I could only pray that Maruman was sleeping deeply, for if he woke, he would come, regardless of whether he was in his right mind or not, and there was no telling what would happen, given the way he had provoked Rheagor in the Wolf Vale. No harm had come of it on that occasion, but I doubted we would be so lucky a second time.
“Perhaps we should not have built the fire up,” Analivia said when I reached her side. “It might anger the wolves.”
I shook my head impatiently. “Listen to me. Stand close about the fire, all of you, and make no threatening moves when the wolves come. Indeed, do not make any move at all and say nothing. I believe the wolves will agree to go with us, as I have asked, but they are wild beasts and as such are unpredictable. Worse, there are some among them whose hatred of humans edges on madness, and seeing so many humans might provoke them. It is vital that you do nothing.”
I did not tell them that the wolf musk would paralyze them, for there was no time to explain. If they were trying to be still, I hoped they might not even notice.
“What of the horses?” Ahmedri asked.
“I have sent them to the other side of the lake. Once the wolves have agreed to go with us, I will summon them. Now get in position. The front runners will be here any minute.”
“I will stand with you,” Swallow said.
“No,” I snapped. “If you would go with me on my quest, then obey me as the leader of this expedition.” I looked at Ahmedri, and after the slightest hesitation, he moved to stand by the fire with the others. I bade Darga go and sit with them and studied the picture they made, noting that Swallow had his staff and Analivia was resting her hand on the hilt of her knife, while Ahmedri had laid his bow over his knees. The thought that they might have to defend themselves chilled me, for no matter what damage they inflicted, they would not stand a chance against the wolf pack.
I heard the long, mournful howl of a wolf and turned in the direction from which the sound had come. The sun had gone behind the mountains in the west, and the red sky gave out a disquietingly bloody shade of light as the first of the wolves appeared, racing around the lake. I was startled to see the lead wolf was not Rheagor, but the older female, Descantra. Immediately behind her came her brother, the older male Gobor One Ear. The other wolves arrayed themselves behind these two, and as they drew near, I felt their wolf musk freezing my limbs.
“Where is Rheagor/pack leader?” I demanded, trying to inject calm authority into my mental voice. But the wolves’ minds were not open to me. Fear jabbed at me then, for I had not imagined having to contend with the Brildane with no means of communication. I had to force down panic.
“Tha do stink of fear, dinrai-li,” snarled Gobor triumphantly.
Descantra immediately rounded on him, snapping furiously. Hearing her curses, I understood that, in jeering at me, Gobor had opened a way to the wolves’ minds for me. It was a small triumph, until I became aware of the rage and murderous intent of the wolves about me. Too late, it occurred to me that maybe in saying the wolves would have to hear me, Atthis had meant more than the simplest and most obvious meaning of that word. Perhaps she had meant that I needed to get through to the wolves, and whether or not I had got through to Rheagor, it was clear that I had failed to reach the rest of his pack.
“Where is Rheagor?” I reiterated, speaking my thought directly to Descantra and knowing the others would hear it because of the link they shared.
“Speak not the name of the pack leader,” she snarled.
“What am I to call him if not his name?” I asked.
“Tha might as well call that one dead,” Gobor said.
“Dead to the world,” Descantra added bitterly. “That one went seliga and has not returned. Such paths do lead near to the longsleep and those that do walk them be half in love with death.”
I felt sick knowing that Maruman had wandered long and far when he had gone seliga, and it might be days or sevendays before the wolf woke. But I said, “That one said he would return to give me my answer and I believed him.”
“Nor is that one liar or oathbreaker,” Descantra growled. “But all who do walk seliga do risk losing themselves.”
“He has walked seliga only three nights,” I said. “The feline that was with me in your valley has walked longer by far and returned to tell the tale.”
“The pack leader did walk seliga only once before and that did near kill him. You made him go where he had sworn he would never venture again, and that one will not return any more than will this one’s brothers, slain by tha brethren, dinrai,” Descantra answered. The intensity of her focus on me was so great that her muscles were tensed to attack. I longed to step back and put the fire between us, but even if I could have broken the power of her musk, it would h
ave spurred her to attack, not to mention drawing the wolves to notice the others. So far it was as if they saw only me.
“The funaga who trapped and tortured you is no brethren to me, but a deadly enemy,” I sent; then something prompted me to add, “As to your brothers that perished at his hands, how is it that you left them to die?”
I felt her outrage. “The she-pup that did free this one and Gobor was mortally wounded before that one could free the others,” Descantra sent, and for a moment memories floated in her eyes. Then her gaze sharpened and she drew back her lips and snarled at me. “Tha do lure me with tha words, dinrai. For the sake of all other wolves, tha should die, and this one will do the killing.”
“You are a fool,” I snapped. “You care nothing for other wolves. You care only for revenge. Eat it, then, and see the pack die and the world as well.”
My anger surprised her, and I pressed home my advantage, praying I could make her listen to me. “You heard what I told Rheagor. He was wise enough to put aside his loathing of the funaga to find out if I spoke true. What are you that would betray him while he strives but a coward?”
All of the wolves snarled and tensed at this, but I saw from the flash of red in Descantra’s cold eyes that my words had struck a blow. “Rheagor will not return,” she sent.
“And if he does?” I demanded.
“Tha do listen to a dinrai!” Gobor growled at her, and I sensed his madness boiling up. “Th’art as much a fool as Sharna! I will tear out this one’s throat and that do be the end of the dinrai’s lies.”
The name shocked me, for how could Gobor know Sharna’s name? He had not been born when his mother had freed them. And why would they call him a fool because he had come back to live at Obernewtyn? These thoughts rattled wildly through my mind as Gobor padded closer, snarling all the while.
I do not know what Descantra would have done, but without warning, Maruman catapulted into the clearing, spitting and snarling, and then he leaped onto my shoulder, sinking in his claws and warbling a warning to the wolf. I would have thrown the old cat away from me to save him from the wolf’s fury if I had been able to break the numbing power of the wolf musk. How Maruman had managed it I had no idea.