Page 45
Author: Robyn Carr
She laughed. “Cooper, you’re not the least bit coy, are you. Can you hold that thought?”
“I can. But let’s not waste time. ”
She went to the bedroom to remove her clothes, folding them in a pile on one of his built-in dressers, walking naked to the shower. When she got in, he was soapy and he pushed her up against the wall. He kissed her deeply, holding her against his soapy body. “Sarah, you are beautiful. Have I told you that lately?”
She ran her hands over his chest. “You’re beautiful, Cooper. ” She traced his tattoo on his right shoulder. It was a globe and ocean. Fitting. “Are you clean enough yet?”
“I think I could manage to make you happy right now. . . ”
“Not right now, Cooper,” she said, laughing. “This shower is worse than an airplane bathroom. ”
“Have you ever done it in an airplane bathroom?” he asked.
“No. Have you?”
“Well, no. But with you, I could. ” He lifted the showerhead from its bracket and rinsed them off. “Come on. ” He turned off the water and pulled her out of the shower, but instead of drying off, he grabbed and carried her, slippery and squealing, to his bed.
“Cooper,” she said and laughed. “I’m cold!”
“You won’t be cold for long,” he promised, covering her with kisses until she relented, put her arms around his neck and opened her legs for him. “That’s what I’m talking about. . . . ”
It took only a few moments for both of them to explode in the ultimate satisfaction, then melt into laughter once more.
“Do you know what I love about being with you?” she asked. “You’re fun, you know when to be serious, then you’re fun again. ”
“Do you ever feel like there are eyes on you?” he asked.
Her eyes grew very large, then she turned her head to see Ham sitting patiently at the side of the bed near the foot, waiting for attention.
Cooper pulled on her chin, bringing her gaze back to him. “Please don’t talk to him,” he whispered. “If you do, I’ll have a Great Dane on my back. ”
She started to laugh and he covered her mouth.
“Laughing at him could do it, too. Shh. This is good, my hand over your mouth. I have to tell you something. ” He was smoothing the damp hair off her brow. “Remember when I told you that I’d been accused of being emotionally unavailable? Afraid of commitment?”
“A couple of months ago,” she said, and nodded.
“I didn’t understand that at the time, but I think maybe the woman who said that was right. ” He shook his head. “I’m not that way with you. With you, I’m mentally, emotionally, physically in the moment. All in. All there. All yours. I can tell. I feel different with you than I’ve ever felt before. ”
“Why are you saying this, Cooper?”
“Because I want you to know. It’s important that you know. ”
“Why? You already told me you love me. ”
“Love is easy,” he said. “The other stuff is even more important. ”
She smiled and rubbed her knuckles along the hair over his ear. “You’re awfully good to me when I’m the one who’s emotionally unavailable and afraid of commitment. ”
“I’m not worried about that. ” He grinned at her. “Do you want food?”
“You always make me hungry,” she said, sitting up and wiggling to the other side of the bed so she wouldn’t have to wrestle her way around Hamlet.
“This has been fun, these afternoons when Landon is at school and you’re not at work. ”
“And Rawley isn’t here,” she said.
“Rawley is here. He’s working on that old car of Ben’s in the shed. One of these days soon, I’m going to have to actually work, too. ” He pulled on his jeans and gave Hamlet a pat on the head.
“The bar is done, then?”
“It’s as close to done as it needs to be. ”
“Have you been sending out résumés?” she asked quietly.
He shook his head. “But I’ve gotten a couple of offers without applying. An old friend from Texas is giving up a news chopper job in San Francisco and he said they’d hire me on his recommendation. ASAP. And Colorado really needs firefighters—that was another personal recommendation. Last year’s fires charred the state. They’re ready to gear up for summer. Both positions are open immediately. ”
She looked down to fasten her pants.
“What would you do, Sarah?” he asked her.
She gave a shrug. “News chopper,” she said. She looked up. “Cooper, do you think we’ll stay in touch?”
“I hope so, Sarah. You could beg me not to leave,” he suggested with a patient smile.
“You know I can’t do that. ”
“I know you can’t do that. ”
“How soon on that news job?”
“They’d like someone right away. I assume that means within the week. But—”
“You wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, would you?”
“Of course I wouldn’t do that. Would you?”
She shook her head. “Wow. The idea of you leaving. It hit me. Even though I knew all along, since that first day I caught you surfing the net, looking at potential jobs. ”
“You wouldn’t like that? Me leaving?”
“I’d hate it. ”
“Yet you wouldn’t ask me to stay?”
“You know I can’t. I explained about that. The best I could. ”
He gave her a little kiss on the forehead. “Yes, you did. Let me take you out to dinner at Cliff’s. Text Landon and invite him. Tell him Eve can come. Take your horse home and I’ll pick you up in an hour. ”
* * *
Sarah assumed one of Cooper’s reasons for taking her out to dinner with Landon along was to explain to her brother that he’d be leaving. But of course Landon brought Eve and the conversation around the table didn’t leave room for any kind of serious discussion about Cooper’s next move. Instead, it was all about Jag.
“Everyone in school is talking. People say Jag shot him or stabbed him, but that can’t be right,” Eve said. “The police would’ve known if that happened. ”
“What about his friends?” Cooper wanted to know.
“Only Wormitz and Pickering were there. They said they didn’t know anything, except that Morrison lied so much all the time, bragged so much, no one really took him seriously,” Landon said. “Except Sinclair didn’t come to school and someone said he isn’t coming back. He’s going to stay with his aunt and uncle in Seattle for a while. He might be afraid of Morrison. ”
“Did either of them try saying they were sorry for backing him up? For picking on you?”
Landon shook his head. “I don’t see that happening, man. But around school, they’re treated like they have typhoid fever. ”
When Cooper took Sarah home, he didn’t go inside. Landon and Eve had followed them home in Landon’s little truck, and they walked past them to go inside. Sarah told him she had to go to work early and probably wouldn’t see him until late tomorrow, so he spent delicious moments at the front door, kissing her stupid.
Landon snapped open the front door. “Get a room, guys,” he said, then laughed at himself.
“He’s a pain in the ass sometimes,” Cooper said.
“Will you promise me something, Cooper? Will you please not leave town without explaining to Landon what’s going on? Where you’re going, what you’re doing, all that? Because even though he’s a pain in the ass, I think, in his way, he depends on you. ”
He rubbed a knuckle down her cheek.
“Sometimes you really act like you don’t know me,” he said, giving her a brief kiss. “Or maybe you think I’m someone else? Of course I would never leave without saying goodbye, without talking to Landon. Is this going to keep you awake all night? Because you have work early tomorrow and you need sleep. ”
“N
o, I’m fine,” she lied. “Thank you for being so understanding. About Landon and everything. ”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said.
Why can’t I say it, she asked herself. Why can’t I say I love you, don’t go? “Good. Tomorrow. ”
Sleep came hard. She heard Landon leave to take his girlfriend home, heard him return, saw the time on the clock every hour. The next day at the station dragged so much she found herself almost wishing they had a training day or an inspection.
She did talk to Cooper, but somehow managed not to ask him if he was packing. It hung like a pall over the conversation. The only thing that filled her mind right now was giving him up, an unfathomable notion. And yet she didn’t want their relationship nailed down.
The sun was setting by the time she got home. Landon and the dog were gone, as was the Razor. She changed into spandex, rubber boots, turtleneck and her red slicker and headed across the beach. She suspected Landon and Cooper were having a talk about his leaving. But then she found Landon on the beach, throwing the ball for the dog, his ATV parked nearby, Ham’s helmet in the seat.
“Hey,” Landon said.
“Hey,” she answered. “Did you see Cooper? Talk to him?”
“Not yet,” Landon said. “I’m wearing out this big old moose. Hey, I’m going over to Eve’s tonight. That’s okay, right?”
“Sure. They aren’t getting sick of you over there, are they?”
He grinned his heart-stopping grin. “They love me. ”
She looked up toward the bait shop. Cooper and Rawley were both there, working on something, though it was getting dark. “I’m going to go see Cooper. Are you having dinner at Eve’s?”
“Probably. Mac is starting to refer to me as his oldest son. ” He made a face. “Creeps me out. ”
She laughed at him and that was all it took to remember they were a team. Invincible. Hard stuff had happened to them, but together they were up to it.
Well, today Cooper wasn’t packing up. It appeared he was putting some sort of finishing touch on the bar. He and Rawley had ladders against the wall, one on each side of the double doors that opened onto the deck. It looked to be a sign, covered with a sheet or piece of paper. They lifted the sign just as she started up the stairs and while she climbed, they fastened it into place.
They were coming down as Sarah reached the deck. “What are you guys doing?”
Cooper looked at her over his shoulder, smiled at her and tore off the cover. The sign read BEN & COOPER’S.
Rawley lifted his ladder and took it around the corner, leaving them alone on the deck.
“What is that?”
“A sign, Sarah,” he said, laughing at her.
She took a step forward, looking up. “You’re going to sell it with your name on the sign?”
He shook his head. “I’m not going to sell it. ”
“Rent it?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Run it. I hope I can figure it out. ”
“But, Cooper, what about that flying job?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I think I’m done working for other people. I’m too judgmental, for one thing. Now if I pick apart the way things are being run I have no one to blame but myself. Sarah, I’m not done with us. We’re just getting started. ”
She was shocked for a moment. Then she said, “You let me believe you were leaving!”
He shook his head, then he put his hands on her waist. “I didn’t correct your assumption. It’s true, I was contacted about a couple of flying jobs. I turned them both down. Even though dropping flame retardant on a big nasty fire does sound like fun. ”