Read The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5) Page 4


  CHAPTER III

  The Admiral immediately repaired to the stranger. 'Young woman,' hecried, 'I hope you don't take it into your mind, that I was moredisposed to serve you while I thought you of foreign culture, than now Iknow you to be of our own growth? If I came forwarder then, it was onlybecause I was afraid that those who have had less occasion than I havehad, to get the upper hand of their prejudices, would keep backwarder.'

  The stranger bowed her thanks.

  'But as to me,' he continued, 'I have had the experience of what it isto be in a strange land; and, moreover, a prisoner: in which time I cameto an agreement with myself--a person over whom I keep a pretty tighthand! because why? If I don't the devil will! So I came, I say, to anagreement with myself, to remember all the ill-usage I then met with, asa memento to forbear exciting in others, those black passions whichsundry unhandsome tricks excited, in those days, in myself.'

  Observing her breakfast to be utterly neglected, he demanded, with anair of some displeasure, whether she had no longing to taste the food ofher mother country again?

  The fulness of her mind, she answered, had deprived her of appetite.

  'Poor girl! poor woman!' cried he, compassionately, 'for I hardly knowwhich to call you, those cap-flounces pon the cheeks making a youngwoman look no better than an old one. However, be you which you may, Ican't consent to see you starve in a land of plenty; which would be abase ingratitude to our Creator, who, in dispensing the most to theupper class; grants us the pleasure of dispensing the overplus,ourselves, to the under class; which I take to be the true reason ofProvidence for ordering that difference between the rich and the poor;as, most like, we shall all find, when we come to give in our accountsin t'other world.'

  He then enquired what it was she intended to do; adding, 'I don't meanas to your secrets, because they are what I have no right to meddlewith; though I disapprove your having any, they being of little service,except to keep foul deeds from the light; for what is fair loves to beabove board. Besides, as every thing is sure to come out, sooner orlater, it only breeds suspicion and trouble for nothing, toprocrastinate telling to-day with your own free will, what you may becertain will be known to-morrow, or next day, with or without it. Don'tbe discomposed, however, for I don't say this by way of a sift, nor yetfor a reproach; I merely drop it as a piece of advice.'

  'And I should be happy, Sir, to endeavour to deserve it, by franklyexplaining my situation, but that the least mistake, the smallestimprudence, might betray me to insupportable wretchedness.'

  'Why then, if that's the case, you are very right to hold your tongue.If the law never makes a person condemn himself, much less ought alittle civility. There are dangers enough in the world without runningrisks out of mere compliment.'

  Then putting his guinea before her, upon the table, he charged her tokeep it unbroken till she set out, assuring her that he should himselforder whatever she could require for her dinner, supper, and lodging,and settle for the whole with the landlord; as well as with thebook-keeper for her journey to London.

  The stranger seemed almost overpowered with gratitude; but interruptingwhat she attempted to say, 'No thankings,' he cried, 'young woman! it'sa bad sign when a good turn surprises a person. I have not escaped fromsuch hard fare with my body, to leave my soul behind me; though, Godknows, I may forget it all fast enough. There's no great fear of mortalman's being too good.'

  Then, wishing her farewell, he was quitting the room, but, thoughtfullyturning back, 'Before we part,' he said, 'it will be but Christian-liketo give you a hint for your serious profit. In whatever guise you mayhave demeaned yourself, up to this present date, which is a solution Idon't mean to meddle with, I hope you'll always conduct yourself in abecoming manner, for the rest of your days, in remembrance of your greatgood fortune, in landing safely upon this happy shore.'

  He was going, but the Incognita stopt him, and again the dark hue ofher skin, was inadequate to disguise the deep blushes that were burningupon her cheeks, as she replied, 'I see, Sir, through all yourbenevolence, that you believe me to be one of those unhappy persons,whose misfortunes have been the effect of their crimes: I have no way toprove my innocence; and assertion may but make it seem more doubtful;yet--'

  'You are right! you are right!' interrupted he; 'I am no abettor ofassertions. They are but a sort of cheap coinage, to make right andwrong pass current together.'

  'I find I have been too quick,' she answered, 'in thinking myself happy!to receive bounty under so dreadful a suspicion, proves me to be in adesolate state indeed!'

  'Young woman,' said the Admiral, in a tone approaching to severity,'don't complain! We must all bear what we have earned. I can't but seewhat you are, though it's what I won't own to the rest of the crew, whothink a flaw in the character excuse plenty for letting a poor weakfemale starve alive; for which, to my seeming, they deserve to want acrust of bread themselves. But I hope I know better than that where themain fault is apt to lie; for I am not ignorant how apt our sex is tomisbehave to yours; especially in slighting you, if you don't slightthem; a thing not to be defended, either to God or man. But for allthat, young woman, I must make free to remark, that the devil himselfnever yet put it into a man's head, nor into the world's neither, toabandon, or leave, as you call it, desolate, a woman who has kept tightto her own duty, and taken a modest care of herself.'

  The eyes of the stranger were now no longer bright from their merenatural lustre, nor from the beams of quick surprize, or of suddenvivacity; 'twas with trembling emotion that they shone, and withindignation that they sparkled. She took up the guinea, from which hersight seemed averted with horror, and said, 'Pardon me, Sir, but I mustbeg you to receive this again.'

  'Why, what now? do you think, because I make no scruple to give you anitem that I don't fancy being imposed upon; do you think, I say, becauseof that, I have so little Christian charity, as not to know that you maybe a very good sort of woman in the main, for all some flaunty coxcombmay have played the scoundrel, and left you to the wide world, afterteaching you to go so awry, that he knows the world will forsake youtoo? a thing for which, however, he'll pay well in time; as I make nodoubt but the devil takes his own notes of all such actions.'

  She now cast the guinea upon the table. 'I would rather, Sir,' shecried, 'beg alms of every passenger that I may meet, than owe succour toa species of pity that dishonours me!'

  The Admiral looked at her with earnestness. 'I don't well know,' hesaid, 'what class to put you in; but if you are really a virtuous woman,to be sure I ought to ask your pardon for that little hint I let drop;and, moreover, if I asked it upon my knees, I can't say I should thinkit would be over-much, for affronting a virtuous woman, without cause.And, indeed, if I were free to confess the truth, I must own there'ssomething about you, which I don't over-much know what to call, but thatis so agreeable, that it goes against me to think ill of you.'

  'Ah, Sir! think well of me, then!--let your benevolence be as liberal asit is kind, and try, for once, to judge favourably of a stranger upontrust!'

  'Well, I will! I will, then! if you have the complaisance to wish for mygood opinion, I will!' cried he, nodding, while his eyes glistened;'though it's not my general method, I can tell you, young woman, to gothe direct opposite road to my understanding. But, out of the way asthings may look, you seem to me, in the main, to be an innocent person;so pray, Ma'am, don't refuse to accept this little token of my goodwill.'

  The countenance of the stranger exhibited strong indecision. He enjoinedher, however, to keep the guinea, and, after struggling vainly to speak,she sighed, and seemed distressed, but complied.

  He nodded again, saying, 'Be of good cheer, my dear. Nothing comes ofbeing faint-hearted. I give you my promise I'll see you in town. And, ifI find that you turn out to be good; or, moreover, if you turn good,after having unluckily been t'other thing, I'll stand your friend. Youmay depend upon it.'

  With a look of mingled kindness and concern, he then left the room.

  And he
re, shocked, yet relieved, and happy, however forlorn, sheremained, till a waiter brought her a fowl, a tart, and a pint of whitewine, according to commands issued by the Admiral. She then heard thatthe whole of the boat-party had set off for London, except Mrs Ireton,the sick lady, who did not think herself sufficiently recovered totravel till the next day, and who had enquired for some genteel younglady to attend her to town; but she was so difficult, the waiter said,to please, that she had rejected half-a-dozen candidates who had beenpresented to her successively. She seemed very rich, he added, for sheordered things at a great rate, though she found fault with them as fastas they were carried to her; but what had put her the most out of humourof all, was that the young gentleman, her son, had set off without her,in a quarrel: which was not, however, so much to be wondered at, for themaids of the two other ladies said that the gentlewoman was of soaggravating a humour, that nobody could live with her; which hadprovoked her own woman to leave her short in France, and hire herself toa French lady.

  The little repast of the stranger was scarcely over, when the waiterbrought her word that the sick lady desired to see her up stairs.

  Extremely surprised, she demanded for what purpose.

  He answered, that a seventh young person whom he had taken into thelady's room, with an offer to serve her, upon being sharply treated, hadas sharply replied; which had so affronted her, that she had orderedthat no one else should be brought into her presence; though in twominutes more, she had rung the bell, said she was too ill to be leftalone, and bid him fetch her the woman who came over from France.

  The stranger, at first, refused to obey this imperious summons; but thewish of placing herself under female protection during her journey,presently conquered her repugnance, and she accompanied the messengerback.

  Mrs Ireton was reclining upon an easy chair, still somewhat disorderedfrom her voyage, though by no means as much in need of assistance forher shattered frame, as of amusement for her restless mind.

  'So!' she cried, 'you are here still? Pray,--if I may ask soconfidential a question,--what acquaintance may you have found in thisinn?--The waiters?--or the grooms?'

  'I was told, Madam, that you had some commands for me.'

  'O, you are in haste, are you? you want to be shewing off those patchesand bandages, perhaps? You won't forget a veil, I hope, to preserve yourwhite skin? Not but 'twould be pity to make any sort of change in yourdress, 'tis so prodigiously tasty!'

  The stranger, offended, was now moving off, but, calling her back, 'Didnot the waiter,' Mrs Ireton demanded, 'give you to understand that Isent for you?'

  'Yes, Madam; and therefore--'

  'Well, and what do you suppose it was for? To let you open and shut thedoor, just to give me all the cold wind of the passages? You suppose itwas for that, do you? You surmize that I have a passion for thetooth-ache? You conclude that I delight in sneezing?--coughing?--and astuft-up nose?'

  'I am sorry, Madam,--'

  'Or perhaps you think me so robust, that it would be kind to give me alittle indisposition, to prevent my growing too boisterous? You may deemmy strength and health to be overbearing? and be so good as to intendmaking me more delicate? You may be of opinion that it would render memore interesting?'

  'Indeed, Madam,'--

  'Or, you may fancy that a friendly catarrh might be useful, infurnishing me with employment, from ordering water-gruel, and balm-tea,and barley-water, and filling up my leisure in devising successiveslops?'

  The difficulty of being heard made the stranger now cease to attemptspeaking; and Mrs Ireton, after sundry similar interrogatories, angrilysaid, 'So you really don't think fit to initiate me into your motivesfor coming to me, without troubling yourself to learn mine for admittingyou into my presence?'

  'On the contrary, Ma'am, I desire--'

  'O! I am mistaken, am I? It's on the contrary, is it? You are vastlykind to set me right; vastly kind, indeed! Perhaps you purpose to giveme a few lessons of behaviour?'

  'I am so wholly at a loss, Madam, why I have been summoned, that I candivine no reason why I should stay. I beg, therefore, to take my leave.'

  Again she was retreating; but Mrs Ireton, struck by her courage, beganto conceive that the mystery of her birth and business, might possiblyterminate in a discovery of her belonging to a less abject class thanher appearance announced; and therefore, though firmly persuaded thatwhat might be diminished in poverty, would be augmented in disgrace, herdesire was so inflamed to develop the secret, that, softening her tone,she asked the young person to take a chair, and then entered intodiscourse with some degree of civility.

  Yet with all this restraint, inflicted upon a nature that, to theprivilege of uttering whatever it suggested, claimed that of hearingonly what it liked, she could gather no further intelligence, than thatthe stranger had received private information of the purposed sailing ofthe vessel, in which they all came over: but her birth, her name, herconnexions, her actual situation, and her object in making the voyage,resisted enquiry, eluded insinuation, and baffled conjecture.Nevertheless, her manners were so strikingly elevated above her attire,that, notwithstanding the disdain with which, in the height of hercuriosity, Mrs Ireton surveyed her mean apparel, and shrunk from herdusky skin, she gave up her plan of seeking for any other person to waitupon her, during her journey to town, and told the Incognita that, ifshe could make her dress a little less shocking, she might relinquishher place in the stage-coach, to occupy one in a post-chaise.

  To avoid new and untried risks, in travelling wholly alone, the strangeracceded to this proposal; and immediately, by the assistance of the maidof the inn, appropriated the guinea of the Admiral to purchasing decentclothing, though of the cheapest and coarsest texture.

  The next morning they set off together for London.