CHAPTER LIX
Offended, indignant; escaped, yet without safety; free, yet withoutrefuge; Juliet, hurried into the noble mansion, with no view but to findan immediate hiding-place, where, unseen, she might allow some vent toher wounded feelings, and, unmarked, remain till the haughty partyshould be gone, and she could seek some humble conveyance for her ownreturn.
Concluding her in haste for some commission of Mrs Ireton's, theservants let her pass nearly unobserved; and she soon came to a longgallery, hung with genealogical tables of the Arundel family, and withvarious religious reliques, and historical curiosities.
Believing herself alone, and in a place of which the stillness suitedher desire of solitude and concealment, she had already shut the doorbefore she saw her mistake. What, then, was her astonishment, what heremotion, when she discerned, seated, and examining a part of thehangings, at the further end of the gallery, the gentle form of LadyAurora Granville!
Sudden transport, though mingled with a thousand apprehensions,instantly converted every dread that could depress into every hope thatcould revive her. A start evinced that she was seen. She endeavoured tocourtesy, and would have advanced; but, the first moment over, fear,uncertainty, and conflicting doubts took place of its joy, and robbedher of force. Her dimmed eyes perceived not the smiling pleasure withwhich Lady Aurora had risen at her approach; her breast heaved quick;her heart swelled almost to suffocation; and, wholly disordered, sheleaned against a window-frame cut in the immensely thick walls of thecastle.
Lady Aurora now ran fleetly forward, exclaiming, in a voice of which thetender melody spoke the softness of her soul, 'Miss Ellis! My dear MissEllis! have I, indeed, the happiness to meet with you again? O! if youcould know how I have desired, have pined for it!--But,--are you ill?!You cannot be angry? Miss Ellis! sweet Miss Ellis! Can you ever havebelieved that it has been my fault that I have appeared so unkind, sohard, so cruel?'
With a fulness of joy that, in conquering doubt, overpowered timidity,Juliet now, with rapturous tears, and resistless tenderness, flungherself upon the neck of Lady Aurora, whom she encircled with her arms,and strained fondly to her bosom.
But the same vent that gave relief to internal oppression brought her toa sense of external impropriety: she felt that it was rather her part toreceive than to bestow such marks of affection. She drew back; and hercheeks were suffused with the most vivid scarlet, when she observed thedeep colour which dyed those of Lady Aurora at this action; thoughevidently with the blushes of surprise, not of pride.
Ashamed, and hanging her head, Juliet would have attempted some apology;but Lady Aurora, warmly returning her embrace, cried, 'How happy, andhow singular a chance that we should have fixed upon this day forvisiting Arundelcastle! We have been making a tour to the Isle of Wightand to Portsmouth; and we did not intend to go to Brighthelmstone; sothat I had no hope, none upon earth, of such a felicity as that ofseeing my dear Miss Ellis. I need not, I think, say it was not I whoformed our plan, when I own that we had no design to visitBrighthelmstone, though I knew, from Lady Barbara Frankland, that MissEllis was there?'
'Alas! I fear,' answered Juliet, 'the design was to avoidBrighthelmstone! and to avoid it lest a blessing such as I nowexperience should fall to my lot! Ah, Lady Aurora! by the pleasure,--thetransport, rather, with which your sudden sight has made me appear toforget myself, judge my anguish, my desolation, to be banished from yoursociety, and banished as a criminal!'
Lady Aurora shuddered and hid her face. 'O Miss Ellis!' she cried, 'whata word! never may I hear it,--so applied,--again, lest it shouldalienate me from those I ought to respect and esteem! and you so good,so excellent, would be sorry to see me estrange myself, even though itwere for your own sake, from those to whom I owe gratitude andattachment. I must try to shew my admiration of Miss Ellis in a mannerthat Miss Ellis herself will not condemn. And will not that be byspeaking to her without any disguise? And will she not have the goodnessto encourage me to do it? For the world I would not take a liberty withher;--for the universe I would not hurt her!--but if it were possibleshe could condescend to give, ... however slightly, however imperfectly,some little explanation to ... to ... Mrs Howel....'
Juliet here, with a strong expression of horrour, interrupted her: 'MrsHowel?--O no! I cannot speak with Mrs Howel!--I had nearly said I cansee Mrs Howel no more! But happier days would soon subdue resentment.And, indeed, what I feel even now, may more justly be called terrour.Appearances have so cruelly misrepresented me, that I have no right tobe indignant, nor even surprised that they should give rise to falsejudgments. I have no right to expect,--in a second instance,--unknown,friendless, lonely as I am! a trusting angel! a Lady Aurora!'
The tears of Lady Aurora now flowed as fast as her own. 'If I have beenso fortunate,' she cried, 'as to inspire such sweet kindness in so noblea mind, even in the midst of its unhappiness, I shall always prize it asthe greatest of honours, and try to use it so as to make me becomebetter; that you may never wound me by retracting it, nor be woundedyourself by being ashamed of your partiality.'
With difficulty Juliet now forbore casting herself at the feet of LadyAurora, the hem of whose garment she would have kissed with extacy, hadnot her own pecuniary distresses, and the rank of her young friend, madeher recoil from what might have the semblance of flattery. She attemptednot to speak; conscious of the inadequacy of all that she could utterfor expressing what she felt, she left to the silent eloquence of herstreaming, yet transport-glittering eyes, the happy task ofdemonstrating her gratitude and delight.
With calmer, though extreme pleasure, Lady Aurora perceived theimpression which she had made. 'See,' she cried, again embracing her;'see whether I trust in your kindness, when I venture, once more, torenew my earnest request, my entreaty, my petition--'
'O! Lady Aurora! Who can resist you? Not I! I am vanquished! I will tellyou all! I will unbosom myself to you entirely!'
'No, my Miss Ellis, no! not to me! I will not even hear you! Have I notsaid so? And what should make me change? All I have been told by LadyBarbara Frankland of your exertions, has but increased my admiration;all she has written of your sufferings, your disappointments, and thepatient courage with which you have borne them, has but more endearedyou to my heart. No explanation can make you fairer, clearer, moreperfect in my eyes. I take, indeed, the deepest interest in yourwelfare; but it is an interest that makes me proud to wait, not curiousto hear; proud, my Miss Ellis, to shew my confidence, my trust in yourexcellencies! If, therefore, you will have the goodness to speak, itmust be to others, not to me! I should blush to be of the number ofthose who want documents, certificates, to love and honour you!'
Again Juliet was speechless; again all words seemed poor, heartless,unworthy to describe the sensibility of her soul, at this touching proofof a tenderness so consonant to her wishes, yet so far surpassing herdearest expectations. She hung over her ingenuous young friend; shesighed, she even sobbed with unutterable delight; while tears of rapturerolled down her glowing cheeks, and while her eyes were lustrous with aradiance of felicity that no tears could dim.
Charmed, and encouraged, Lady Aurora continued: 'To those, then, whohave not had the happiness to see you so justly; who dwell only upon thesingularity of your being so ... alone, and so ... young,--O how oftenhave I told them that I was sure you as little knew as merited theirevil constructions! How often have I wished to write to you! how certainhave I felt that all your motives to concealment, even the mostrespectable, would yield to so urgent a necessity, as that of clearingaway every injurious surmise! Speak, therefore, my Miss Ellis, thoughnot to me! even from them, when you have trusted them, I will hearnothing till the time of your secresy is over; that I may give them anexample of the discretion they must observe with others. Yet speak! havethe goodness to speak, that every body,--my uncle Denmeath himself,--andeven Mrs Howel,--may acknowledge and respect your excellencies and yourvirtues as I do! And then, my Miss Ellis, who shall prevent,--who willeven desire to prevent my shewing to the whole
world my sense of yourworth, and my pride in your friendship?'
The struggles that now heaved the breast of Juliet were nearly toopotent for her strength. She gasped for breath; she held her hand to herheart; and when, at length, the kind caresses and gentle pleadings ofLady Aurora, brought back her speech, she painfully pronounced, 'Shall Irepay goodness so exquisite, by filling with regret the sweet mind thatintends me only honour and consolation? Must the charm of suchunexpected kindness, even while it penetrates my heart with almostpiercing delight, entail, from its resistless persuasion, a misery uponthe rest of my days, that may render them a burthen from which I mayhourly sigh,--nay pray, to be delivered?'
Seized with horrour and astonishment, Lady Aurora exclaimed, 'Oh heaven,no! I must be a monster if I would not rather die, immediately die, thancause you any evil! Miss Ellis, my dear Miss Ellis! forget I have madesuch a request, and forgive my indiscretion! With all your misfortunes,Miss Ellis, all your so undeserved griefs, you are quite a stranger tosorrow, compared to that which I should experience, if, through me,through my means, you should be exposed to any fresh injury!'
'Angelic goodness!' cried Juliet, deeply affected: 'I blush, I blush tohear you without casting myself entirely into your power, without makingyou immediate arbitress of my fate! Yet,--since you demand not myconfidence for your own satisfaction,--can I know that to spread itbeyond yourself,--your generous self!--might involve me in instantaneousearthly destruction, and, voluntarily, suffer your very benevolence tobecome its instrument? With regard to Lord Denmeath,--to your uncle,--Imust say nothing; but with regard to Mrs Howel,--let me conjure yourladyship to consent to my utterly avoiding her, that I may escape thedreadful accusations and reproaches that my cruel situation forbids meto repel. I have no words to paint the terrible impression she has leftupon my mind. All that I have borne from others is short of what I havesuffered from that lady! The debasing suspicions of Mrs Maple, thetaunting tyranny of Mrs Ireton, though they make me blush to owe,--orrather, to earn from them the subsistence without which I know not howto exist; have yet never smote so rudely and so acutely to my inmostheart, as the attack I endured from Mrs Howel! They rob me, indeed, ofcomfort, of rest, and of liberty--but they do not sever me from LadyAurora!'
'Alas, my Miss Ellis! and have I, too, joined in the general persecutionagainst such afflicted innocence? I feel myself the most unpardonable ofall not to have acquiesced, without one ungenerous question, or evenconjecture; in full reliance upon the right and the necessity of yoursilence. I ought to have forseen that if it were not improper you shouldcomply, your own noble way of thinking would have made all entreaty asuseless as it has been impertinent. Yet when prejudice alone parts us,how could I help trying to overcome it? And even my brother, though hewould forfeit, I believe, his life in your defence; and though he sayshe is sure you are all purity and virtue; and though he thinks thatthere is nothing upon earth that can be compared with you;--even he hasbeen brought to agree to the cruel resolution, that I should deferknitting myself closer to my Miss Ellis, till she is able to have thegoodness to let us know--'
She stopt, alarmed, for the cheeks of Juliet were suddenly dyed with thedeepest crimson; though the transient tint faded away as she pronounced,
'Lord Melbury!--even Lord Melbury!--' and they became Pale as death,while, in a faint voice, and with stifled emotion, she added, 'He isright! He acts as a brother; and as a brother to a sister whom he cannever sufficiently appreciate.--And yet, the more I esteem hiscircumspection, the more deeply I must be wounded that calumny,--thatmystery,--that dire circumstance, should make me seem dangerous, where,otherwise--'
Unable longer to constrain her feelings, she sunk upon a seat and wept.
'O Miss Ellis? What have I done?' cried Lady Aurora. 'How have I been sobarbarous, so inconsiderate, so unwise? If my poor brother had causedyou this pain, how should I have blamed him? And how grievously would hehave repented! How severely, then, ought I to be reproached! I who havedone it myself, without his generous precipitancy of temper to palliatesuch want of reflection!--'
The sudden entrance of Selina here interrupted the conversation. Shecame tripping forward, to acquaint Lady Aurora that the party had justdiscerned a magnificent vessel; and that every body said if her ladyshipdid not come directly, it would be sailed away.
At sight of Juliet, she ran to embrace her, with the warmest expressionsof friendship; unchecked by a coldness which she did not observe, thoughnow, from the dissatisfaction excited by so unseasonable an intrusion,it was far more marked, than while it had been under the qualifyinginfluence of contempt.
But when she found that neither caresses, nor kind words, could make hershare with Lady Aurora, even for a moment, the attention of Juliet, shebecame a little confused; and, drawing her apart, asked what was thematter? consciously, without waiting for any answer, running into astring of simple apologies, for not speaking to her in public; which sheshould always, she said, do with the greatest pleasure; for she thoughther the most agreeable person in the whole-world; if it were not, that,nobody knowing her, it would look so odd.
All answer, save a smile half disdainful, half pitying, was precluded bythe appearance of the Arramedes, Mrs Ireton, and Miss Brinville; whoannounced to Lady Aurora that the ship was already out of sight.
Upon perceiving Juliet, they were nearly as much embarrassed as herself;for though she instantly retreated, it was evident that she had beensitting by the side of Lady Aurora, in close and amicable conference.
An awkward general silence ensued, when Juliet, hearing other steps, wasmoving off; but Lady Aurora, following, and holding out her hand,affectionately said, 'Are you going, Miss Ellis? Must you go? And willyou not bid me adieu?'
Touched to the soul at this public mark of kindness, Juliet wasgratefully returning, when the voice of Lord Melbury spoke his nearapproach. Trembling and changing colour, her folded hands demandedexcuse of Lady Aurora for a precipitate yet reluctant flight; but shehad still found neither time nor means to escape, when Lord Melbury, whowas playing with young Loddard, entered the gallery, saying, 'Aurora,your genealogical studies have lost you a most beautiful sea-view.'
The boy, spying Juliet, whom he was more than ever eager to join when hesaw that she strove to avoid notice; darted from his lordship, callingout, 'Ellis! Ellis! look! look! here's Ellis!'
Lord Melbury, with an air of the most animated surprize and delight,darted forward also, exclaiming, 'Miss Ellis! How unexpected a pleasure!The moment I saw Mrs Ireton I had some hope I might see, also, MissEllis--but I had already given it up as delusory.'
Again the fallen countenance of Juliet brightened into sparkling beauty.The idea that even Lord Melbury had been infected by the opinions whichhad been circulated to her disadvantage, had wounded, had stung her tothe quick: but to find that, notwithstanding he had been prevailed uponto acquiesce that his sister, while so much mystery remained, shouldkeep personally aloof, his own sentiments of esteem remained unshaken;and to find it by so open, and so prompt a testimony of respect andregard, displayed before the very witnesses who had sought to destroy,or invalidate, every impression that might be made in her favour, was arelief the most exquisitely welcome to her disturbed and fearful mind.
Eager and rapid enquiries concerning her health, uttered with the ardourof juvenile vivacity, succeeded this first address. The party standingby, looked astonished, even abashed; while the face of Lady Aurorarecovered its wonted expression of sweet serenity.
Mrs Ireton, now, was seized with a desire the most violent, to repossessa _protegee_ whose history and situation seemed daily to grow morewonderful. With a courtesy, therefore, as foreign from her usualmanners, as from her real feelings, she said, 'Miss Ellis, I am sure,will have the goodness to help me home with my two little companions? Iam sure of that. She could not be so unkind as to leave the poor littlethings in the lurch?'
Indignant as Juliet had felt at the treatment which she had received,resentment at this moment found no place in her mind; she
was beginning,therefore, a civil, however decided excuse; when Mrs Ireton, suspiciousof her purpose, flung herself languishingly upon a seat, and complainedthat she was seized with such an immoderate pain in her side, that, ifsomebody would not take care of the two _little souls_, she shouldarrive at Brighthelmstone a corpse.
The Arramedes, Miss Brinville, and Selina, all declared that it wasimpossible to refuse so essential a service to a health so delicate.
The fear, now, of a second public scene, with the dread lest LordMelbury might be excited to speak or act in her favour, forced thejudgment of Juliet to conquer her inclination, in leading her to deferthe so often given dismission till her return to Brighthelmstone; sheacceded, therefore, though with cruel unwillingness, to what wasrequired.
Mrs Ireton instantly recovered; and with the more alacrity, fromobserving that Lady Barbara Frankland joined the group, at this momentof victory.
'Take the trouble, then, if you please, Ma'am,' she replied, in herusual tone of irony; 'if it will not be too great a condescension, takethe trouble to carry Bijou to the coach. And bid Simon keep him safewhile you come back,--if it is not asking quite too great a favour,--forMr Loddard. And pray bring my wrapping cloak with you, Ma'am. You'll beso good, I hope, as to excuse all these liberties? I hope so, at least!I flatter myself you'll excuse them. And, if the cloak should be heavy,I dare say Simon will give you his arm. Simon is a man of gallantry, Imake no doubt. Not that I pretend to know; but I take it for granted heis a man of gallantry.'
Juliet looked down, repentant to have placed herself, even for anothermoment, in a power so merciless. Lord Melbury and Lady Aurora, each hurtand indignant, advanced, uttering kind speeches: while Lady Barbara,still younger and more unguarded, seizing the little dog, exclaimed 'No,I'll carry Bijou myself, Mrs Ireton. Poor Miss Ellis looks so tired!I'll take care of him all the way to Brighthelmstone myself. Dear,pretty little creature!' Then, skipping behind Lady Aurora, 'Nastywhelp!' she whispered, 'how I'll pinch him for being such a plague tothat sweet Miss Ellis! Perhaps that will mend him!'
The satisfaction of Lady Aurora at this trait glistened in her softeyes; while Lord Melbury, enchanted, caught the hand of the spiritedlittle lady, and pressed it to his lips; though, ashamed of his ownvivacity, he let it go before she had time to withdraw it. She coloureddeeply, but visibly with no unpleasant sensation; and, grasping thelittle dog, hid her blushes, by uttering a precipitate farewell upon thebosom of Lady Aurora; who smilingly, though tenderly, kissed herforehead.
An idea that teemed with joy and happiness rose high in the breast ofJuliet, as she looked from Lord Melbury to Lady Barbara. Ah! there,indeed, she thought, felicity might find a residence! there, in the rareunion of equal worth, equal attractions, sympathising feelings, andsimilar condition!
'And I, too,' cried Lord Melbury, 'must have the honour to make myselfof some use; if Mrs Ireton, therefore, will trust Mr Loddard to my care,I will convey him safely to Brighthelmstone, and overtake my sister inthe evening. And by this means we shall lighten the fatigue of MrsIreton, without increasing that of Miss Ellis.'
He then took the little boy in his arms; playfully dancing him beforethe little dog in those of Lady Barbara.
The heart of Juliet panted to give utterance to the warmacknowledgements with which it was fondly beating; but mingled fear anddiscretion forced her to silence.
All the evil tendencies of malice, envy, and ill will, pent up in thebreast of Mrs Ireton, now struggled irresistibly for vent; yet to insistthat Juliet should take change of Mr Loddard, for whom Lord Melbury hadoffered his services; or even to force upon her the care of the littledog, since Lady Barbara had proposed carrying him herself, appeared nolonger to exhibit dependency: Mrs Ireton, therefore, found it expedientto be again taken ill; and, after a little fretful moaning, 'I feelquite shaken,' she cried, 'quite in a tremour. My feet are absolutelynumbed. Do get me my furred clogs, Miss Ellis; if I may venture to asksuch a favour. I would not be troublesome, but you will probably findthem in the carriage. Though perhaps I have left them in the hall. Youwill have the condescension to help the coachman and Simon to make asearch. And then pray run back, if it won't fatigue you too much, andtie them on for me.'
If Juliet now coloured, at least it was not singly; the cheeks of LadyAurora, of Lady Barbara, and of Lord Melbury were equally crimsoned.
'Let me, Mrs Ireton,' eagerly cried Lord Melbury 'have the honour to beMiss Ellis's deputy.'
'No, my lord,' said Juliet, with spirit: 'grateful and proud as I shouldfeel to be honoured with your lordship's assistance, it must not be in abusiness that does not belong to me. I will deliver the orders to Simon.And as Mrs Ireton is now relieved from her anxiety concerning MrLoddard, I beg permission, once more, and finally, to take my leave.'
Gravely then courtsying to Mrs Ireton, and bowing her head with anexpression of the most touching sensibility to her three youngsupporters, she quitted the gallery.
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