“I believe I understand what you mean,” I said.
“Oh, I think we both understand Pride, Captain von Bek,” said Lucifer almost cheerfully. “Shall I call Luther? He is very docile now.”
I shook my head.
Lucifer drew me on through the black streets. I looked at the faces of the citizens, and I knew that I would do almost anything to avoid becoming one of them. This damnation was surely a subtle one. It was their eyes which chiefly impressed me: hard and hopeless. Then it was their whispering voices: cold and without dignity. And then it was the city itself: without any saving humanity.
“This visit to Hell will be brief,” Lucifer reassured me. “But I believe it will convince you.”
We entered a huge, square building and passed into deeper blackness.
“Are there no flames here?” I asked Him. “No demons? No screaming sinners?”
“Few sinners receive that sort of satisfaction here,” said Lucifer.
We stood on the shores of a wide and shallow lake. The water was flat and livid. The light was grey and milky and there seemed no direct source for it. The sky was the same colour as the water.
Standing at intervals in the lake, for as far as I could see, naked men and women, waist-deep, were washing themselves.
The noise of the water was muffled and indistinct. The movements of the men and women were mechanical, as if they had been making the same gestures for eons. All were of similar height. All had the same dull flesh, the same lack of expression upon their faces. Their lips were silent. They gathered the water in their hands and poured it over their heads and bodies, moving like clockwork figures. But again it was their eyes which displayed their agony. They moved, it appeared to me, against their will, and yet could do nothing to stop themselves.
“Is this guilt?” I asked Lucifer. “Do they know themselves to be guilty of something?”
He smiled. He seemed particularly satisfied with this particular torment. “I think it is an imitation of guilt, captain. This is called the Lake of the False Penitents.”
“God is not tolerant,” I said. “Or so it would seem.”
“God is God,” said Lucifer. He shrugged. “It is for me to interpret His Will and to devise a variety of punishments for those who are refused Heaven.”
“So you continue to serve Him?”
“It could be.” Lucifer again seemed uncertain. “Yet of late I have begun to wonder if I have not misinterpreted Him. It is left to me, after all, to discover appropriate cruelties. But what if I am not supposed to punish them? What if I am supposed to show mercy?” I noted something very nearly pathetic in His voice.
“Are you given no instructions?” I asked somewhat weakly. “Tens of millions of souls might have suffered for nothing because of your failure!” I was incredulous.
“I am denied any communion with God, captain.” His tone sharpened. “Is that not obvious to you?”
“So you never know whether you please or displease Him? He sends you no sign?”
“For most of my time in Hell I never looked for one, captain. I am, as I have pointed out, forced to use human agents.”
“And you receive no word through such agents?”
“How can I trust them? I am excommunicate, Captain von Bek. The souls sent to me are at my mercy. I do with them as I wish, largely to relieve my own dreadful boredom.” He became gloomy. “And to take revenge on those who had the opportunity to seek God’s grace and rejected it or were too stupid or greedy to recognize what they had lost.” He gestured.
I saw a sweep of broad, pleasant fields, with green trees in them. An idyllic rural scene. Even the light was warmer and brighter here, although again there was no sense of that light emanating from any particular direction.
It could have been spring. Seated or standing in the fields, like small herds of cattle, dressed in shreds of fabric, were groups of people. Their skins were rough, scabrous, unclean. Their motion through the fields was sluggish, bovine. Yet these poor souls were by no means contented.
I realised that, although the shape of the bodies varied, every face was absolutely identical.
Every face was lined by the same in-turned madness and greed, the same pouched expression of utter selfishness. The creatures mumbled at one another, each monologue the same, as they wandered round and round the fields.
The whined complaints began very quickly to fill me with immense irritation. I could feel no charity for them.
“Every single one of those souls is a universe of self-involvement,” said Lucifer.
“And yet they are identical,” I said.
“Just so. They are alike in the smallest detail. Yet not one of those men or women there can allow himself to recognize the fact. The closer they get to the core of the self, the more they become like the others.” He turned to look sardonically down at me. “Is this more what you expected of Hell, captain?”
“Yes. I think so.”
“Every one of these when on Earth spoke of Free Will, of loyalty to one’s own needs. Of the importance of controlling one’s own destiny. Every one believed himself to be master of his fate. And they had only one yardstick, of course: material well-being. It is all that is possible when one discounts one’s involvement with the rest of humanity.”
I looked hard at those identical faces. “Is this a specific warning to me?” I asked Lucifer. “I should have thought you would be attempting to make Hell seem more attractive to me.”
“And why is that?”
I did not reply. I was too afraid to answer.
“Would you enjoy the prospect of being in my charge, Captain von Bek?” Lucifer asked me.
“I would not,” I told him, “for on Earth, at least, one can pretend to Free Will. Here, of course, all choice is denied you,”
“And in Heaven one can actually possess Free Will,” said Lucifer.
“In spite of Heaven’s ruler?” I said. “It would seem to me that He demands a great deal of His creatures.”
“I am no priestly interpreter,” said Lucifer, “but it has been argued God demands only that men and women should demand much of themselves.”
The fields were behind us now. “I, on the other hand,” continued the Prince of Darkness, “expect nothing of humanity, save confirmation that it is worthless. I am disposed to despise it, to use it, to exploit its weakness. Or so it was in the beginning of my reign.”
“You speak as one who saw all humanity as His rival. I should not have believed an angel—albeit a fallen one—to admit to such pettiness.”
“That rage, I still recall it. That rage did not seem petty to me, Captain von Bek.”
“You have changed, Your Majesty?”
“I told you that I had, captain.”
“You are frustrated, then, that you have failed to convince God of this?”
“Just so. Because God cannot hear me.”
“Are you certain of that, Your Majesty?”
“I am certain of nothing. But I understand it to be the truth.”
I felt almost sorry for this great being, this most defiant of all creatures, having come to a point where He was willing to admit to His defeat, and there being no one to acknowledge or perhaps to believe His admission.
“I am weary of the Earth and still more weary of Hell, captain. I yearn for my position in Heaven.”
“But if Your Majesty is truly repentant …”
“It must be proved. I must make amends.”
Lucifer continued: “I placed high value on the power of the intellect to create a luxury of wonders upon the Earth. I sought to prove that my logic, my creativity, my mind, could all outshine anything which God made. Then I came to believe that Man was not worthy of me. Then I came to believe that perhaps I was not worthy, that what I had sought to make had no substance, no definition, no future. You have seen much of the world, captain.”
“More than most are permitted to see,” I agreed.
“Everything is in decay, is it not? Everything.
The spirit decays as the flesh and the mind decay.” Lucifer uttered a sigh. “I have failed.”
His voice became hollow. I found that I was pitying Him, even more than I pitied the souls who were trapped in His domain.
“I wish to be taken back into the certainty, the tranquility, I once knew,” Lucifer continued.
We stood again upon the white plain.
“I sought to show that I could create a more beautiful world than anything God could create. I still do not know what I did wrong. I have been thinking on that for many a century, captain. And I know that only a human soul can discover the secret which eludes me. I must make amends. I must make amends …”
“Have you decided how you can do that?” I asked quietly.
“I must discover the Cure for the World’s Pain, Captain von Bek.” He turned his dark eyes upon me and I felt my whole being shiver at the intensity.
“A Cure? Human folly, surely, is the cause of that Pain. The answer seems simple enough to me.”
“No!” Lucifer’s voice was almost a groan. “It is complex. God has bestowed on the world one object, one means of healing humanity’s ills. If that object is discovered and the world set to rights again, then God will listen to me. Once God listens, I might be able to convince Him that I am truly repentant.”
“But what has this to do with me, Your Majesty? Surely you cannot think that I possess a Cure for human folly.”
Lucifer made an almost angry gesture with His right hand.
We were suddenly once more in the library of the castle. We faced one of the great windows. Through it I could see the green, silent forest and noted that very little time had passed. My body was now as solid as it had always been. I felt some relief. My ordinary senses were restored.
Lucifer said: “I asked you to help me, von Bek, because you are intelligent, resourceful and not easily manipulated. I am asking you to embark upon a Quest on my behalf. I want you to find me the Cure to the world’s ills. Do you know of what I speak?”
“I have heard only of the Holy Grail, Your Majesty,” I told Him. “And I believe that to be a myth. If I were shown such a cup I would believe in its powers as much as I would believe in the powers of a piece of the True Cross, or Saint Peter’s fingernail.”
He ignored these last remarks. His eyes flamed and became remote. “Ah, yes. It is called that. The Holy Grail. How would you describe it, von Bek?”
“A legendary cup.”
“If it existed. What would you say it was?”
“A physical manifestation of God’s mercy on Earth,” I said.
“Exactly. Is that not the object I have described to you?”
I became incredulous. “Lucifer is commissioning a godless soldier-of-fortune to seek and secure the Holy Grail?”
“I am asking you to seek the Cure for the World’s Pain, yes. Call it the Grail.”
“The legend says that only the purest of knights is permitted to see it, let alone touch it!”
“Your journey will purify you, I’m sure.”
“Your Majesty, what are you offering me, should I agree to this Quest?”
He smiled ironically at me. “Is it not an honour in itself, von Bek?”
I shook my head. “You must have better servants for such a monumental Quest.”
Was Lucifer mad? Was He playing a game with me?
“I have told you,” He said, “that I have not.”
I hesitated. I felt bound to voice my feelings:
“I am suspicious, Your Majesty.”
“Why so?”
“I cannot read your motive.”
“My motive is simple.”
“It defeats me.”
His miserable, tortured eyes looked full on me again and He spoke in an urgent whisper: “It is because you fail to understand how great is my need. How great is my need! Such souls as yours are scarce, von Bek.”
“Can I assume that you are trying to buy my soul at this moment, Your Majesty?”
“Buy it?” He seemed puzzled. “Buy your soul, von Bek? Did you not realize that I own your soul already? I am offering you the chance to reclaim it.”
I knew at once that He spoke the truth. I had known, within me, for some while.
It was then that Lucifer smiled, and in that smile I saw simple confirmation of what we both knew. He did not lie.
A coldness came into me. That was why He had shown me Hell; not to lure me there, but to sample my eternal doom.
I drew away from my Master. “Then I am already forbidden Heaven. Is that what you are telling me, Your Majesty?”
“You are already forbidden Heaven.”
“If that is so, I have no choice, surely?”
“If I rejected you, it would allow you a new chance to be restored in God’s grace—just as I hope to be restored. We do indeed have much in common, von Bek.”
I had never heard of such a bargain before. Yet by taking it I could only lose my life a little sooner than I had planned.
I said: “Then in reality I have little choice.”
“Let us say that your character has already determined your choice.”
“Yet you cannot promise me that God will accept me into Heaven.”
“I can promise you only that I will release your soul from my custody. Such souls do not always enter Heaven. But they are said to live forever, some of them.”
“I have heard legends,” I said, “such as that of the Wandering Jew. Am I to try to save myself from Hell merely so that I may wander the world for Eternity seeking redemption?”
It occurred to me of a sudden that I was not the first mortal soul to be offered this bargain by Lucifer.
“I cannot say,” said the Prince of Darkness. “But if you are successful, it is likely, is it not, that God would look with mercy upon you?”
“You must know more of God’s habits, Your Majesty, than I.” A strange calm was creeping into me now. I felt a degree of amusement.
Lucifer saw what was happening to me and He grinned. “It is a challenge, is it not, von Bek?”
“Aye, Your Majesty.” I was still debating what He had said. “But if I am already your servant, why did you go to such elaborate means to ensure this meeting? Why send Sabrina?”
“I have told you. I am forced to use human agents.”
“Even though she and I are already your servants?”
“Sabrina elected to serve me. You have not yet agreed.”
“So Sabrina cannot be saved?”
“All will be saved if you find the Grail.”
“But could I not ask one thing of Your Majesty?”
Lucifer’s beautiful head turned down towards me. “I think I follow you, von Bek.”
“Would you release Sabrina from your power if I agreed to what you ask of me?”
Lucifer had anticipated this.
“Not if you agree. But if you are successful. Find the Cure for the World’s Pain, and bring it to me, and I promise you I will release Sabrina under exactly the same terms as I release you.”
“So if I am doomed to eternal life, I shall have a companion with me.”
“Yes.”
I considered this. “Very well, Your Majesty. Where shall I seek this Cure, this Grail?”
“All that I know is that it is hidden from me and from all those already dwelling in infernal regions. It is somewhere upon the Earth or in a supernatural realm not far removed from the Earth.”
“A realm not of the Earth? How can I possibly go to such a place?”
Lucifer said: “This castle is such a place, von Bek. I can allow you the power to enter certain parts of the world forbidden to ordinary mortals. It is possible that the Cure lies in one of those realms, or that it lies in a most ordinary place. But you will be enabled to travel more or less where you wish or need to go.”
“Do you mean to make a sorcerer of me, Your Majesty?”
“Perhaps. I am able to offer you certain privileges to aid you in your Quest. But I know that you take pride in
your own intelligence and skills and it is those which shall be most valuable to both of us. And you have courage, von Bek, of several kinds. Although you are mortal, that is another quality we have in common. That is another reason I chose you.”
“I am unsure if I am entirely complimented, Your Majesty. To be Satan’s representative upon Earth, some Anti-Pope.” I changed the subject. “And what if I should fail you?”
Lucifer turned away from me. “That would depend, let us say, on the nature of your failure. If you die, you travel instantly to Hell. But should you betray me, in any way at all, von Bek—well, there is no way in which I cannot claim you. You shall be mine soon enough. And I shall be able to debate my vengeance upon you for all Eternity.”
“So if I am killed in pursuit of my Quest, I gain nothing, but am transported at once to Hell?”
“Just so. But you have seen that Hell can take many forms. And I am able, after a fashion, to resurrect the dead…”
“I have seen your resurrections, Your Majesty, and I would rather be wholly dead. But I suppose I must agree to your bargain, because I have so little to lose.”
“Very little, captain.”
How radically had my life been turned about in the past twenty-four hours! I had over the years managed successfully to rid myself of all thoughts of damnation or salvation, of God or the Devil, during my career as a soldier. I had served many masters, but felt loyal to none of them, had never let them control my fate. I had believed myself my own man, through and through, for good or ill.
Now, suddenly, I had been informed by Lucifer Himself that I was damned and that I was to be offered at the same time a chance of salvation. My feelings, needless to say, were mixed. From a pragmatic agnostic I had been changed not only into a believer, but into a believer called upon to take part in that most fundamental of all spiritual concerns, the struggle between Heaven and Hell. And I had become an apparently important piece in the game. It was hard for me to accept so much at once.
I understood what Sabrina had meant when she had told me, also, that only souls already owned by Lucifer could exist in the castle and its environs.
I had originally refused to accept that knowledge, but it was no longer possible for me to resist it. The evidence had been presented to me. I was damned. And I had already begun (more than I would have admitted then, I think) to hope for salvation. As a result, I had committed myself, against all former habit, to a cause.