Two
The walk seems long, I didn’t realise the orphanage was so far out of the way, I keep walking down a road that is very quiet, do cars or buses even come down here?
It’s October and bloody freezing, this coat isn’t much use at all. As I reach the town nearby I see everyday people going about their everyday lives and the sun seems to have come out, I don’t know why I was scared as it seems there is nothing to fear. It’s lovely, it seems to go on for a while but I only need the grocery store, I don’t have the means to go in and out of different stores and browse around at the things I know I cannot have!
With what little money I have I head into the grocery store and pick up the best bargains that I can find. Walking up and down the aisles I see dad’s with their children in trolleys and some children with their mother’s, it makes me wonder, how can people abandon their children like the ones in the orphanage. Those poor little girls deserve a loving warm home, just like these kids in-front of me have. Why didn’t I have that, why didn’t my parents want me?
In a world of my own, I pick up a can of fruit from the shelf and turn to leave, not paying attention I bump into someone I didn’t realise was there dropping my groceries all over the floor. “Shit,” I scream out as some of the stuff breaks and bursts open. I scramble it all together and then a hand comes over mine.
A man looks down on me, his eyes the darkest colour I have ever seen and smile that’s so sweet he stops me in my tracks, “leave that my dear, someone will come and clean that, forgive me for I did not realise you stood there.”
I stand up, staring at the man before me, his accent is strange, an accent I cannot quite place and most certainly one I have never heard before, “umm it’s okay,” I stutter, “I wasn’t watching what I was doing.”
“My fault I assure you, can I help you find your groceries again.”
“Excuse me miss,” a man in black trousers, green top and apron interrupts us, “did you break these, if you did I’m afraid you have to pay for them.” He seems rude and judgemental with his staring eyes.
Pay for them? Have these people never heard of an accident. I freeze on the spot, if I pay for these then I’m not going to be able to afford groceries, what the hell am I going to do. Words barely come out of my mouth as the man who clearly works here stares at me. Why did I bother to leave the orphanage, I’m not stupid, I know what’s on the outside world, TV, the news and books have kept me fully informed over the years but now I have just gone and ruined the children’s chances of food for a week, for fuck sake!
“It was my fault,” the handsome stranger tells him to surprise, “the young lady was stood there and I did not see her, please forgive me, I will pay for it.”
The worker nods, looks at me as if to say ‘I know you did this you shouldn’t be in here,’ and then leaves with the man’s card.
“Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that,” I stare at this man who has captivated me.
“It is of no issue to me, I have a duty and I am happy to help you, please allow me to assist in buying your groceries.”
I step back, I need to keep some of my dignity, “no that’s okay, I’m sure I can manage.”
“I insist,” he states taking my hand and pulls me gently up the aisle.
“What made you venture out, doesn’t seem like you get out much, I guess it is nice that you have, easier to find.”
His words pickle me but I don’t give it much thought, “Umm, I don’t go out normally, this is the first time I have been into town so this,” I look around, “this is all new to me.”
He doesn’t say another word, just starts filling a trolley of food that I haven’t even chosen.
“I’m sorry,” I stop him, “why are you doing this?”
His eyes gaze into mine and something strikes me as familiar and I am drawn to him but that cannot be, I have never met him before.
“It is my duty to help you,” he grins, “if there is anything you would like, please by all means place it in the trolley.”
His duty, why would it be his duty? Taking advantage and thinking of the children, I fill the trolley with as much food as I can without looking like I’m taking the piss a bit.
“Hungry?” he jokes.
“Umm,” how do I tell him the real reason, I suddenly feel very embarrassed, “it’s not all for me.”
“Well I wouldn’t think it was all for you, are you buying for your large family?”
I can wing it I suppose without mentioning I come from a rundown orphanage, “Yes, lot’s of very hungry children.”
“Ahh I see,” his brow raises in curiosity, “are they your siblings?”
“Not exactly.”
“You’re not very giving of information are you?”
“No information to give really,” I shrug awkwardly pushing the trolley to the till, “I’m just a helper, looking after those who cannot look after themselves.”
“I see, well, there are many things about you that I do not need you to tell me, you will see in time, helping others? You will soon learn to help yourself.” He looks at me as if he doesn’t understand kindness, which is odd because he is being so kind to me, “I’m sure over time you will change and there are many things you have yet to discover about yourself my lady. Here.” He hands me some cash and smiles at me.
Change, why would I change? He doesn’t know me, “I doubt that, maybe when I leave where I am but for now.....” I approach the till and turn to thank him, but he’s gone. Where the hell did he go? That was the strangest thing I have ever encountered and that beats my scary dreams, he was acting as if he knew me.
I look around but he is nowhere to be seen, “Miss, would you like me to scan all of these items?” The clerk asks, I nod at her not really paying attention as my eyes still continue to scan the room looking for the kind and mysterious man that so generously helped me. “That will be ninety four dollars and fifty cents,” the clerk looks at me.
Shit, that much? I don’t even know if I have enough, I look down at my hand embarrassed as I didn’t bother checking the cost, I assumed he was going to stay with me but he has gone. There, out of nowhere are two hundred dollar bills in my hand. Did he give me this? I could have sworn he gave me a twenty.
“Miss?” The clerk interrupts me looking unimpressed as I am staring at the cash in my hand, “are you paying for this?”
I nod, “Uhh yes of course, sorry, here you go,” I hand over the one hundred dollar bill and leave without collecting the change.
I look down at the food in all its bags but I have no idea how I am going to get this home, I will struggle to carry this all by myself. I wish I was back at the orphanage, I have no idea how I am going to get all this back, I didn’t think I would have this much to carry.
As my mind ponders and I think of nothing but being back there, something distracts me and I feel a sense that something or someone is watching me. I look up to see the man who kindly helped me stood across the street. Traffic passes by so I get glimpses of him but I see the smile on his face. The smile that says there is more behind it than just pure kindness.
It makes me feel slightly nervous yet strangely I feel myself attracted to him, I feel like I should know him as something in my gut says he knows me, is he family? I smile back at him acknowledging him and also thanking him for his kindness and give a wave as I am thinking about just wanting to go to the only place I know as home and before I know it I am outside the orphanage, trolley in-front of me full of shopping and the gates are right there.
How the hell did that happen, I know I wished to be here but what the fuck? I look around a grey mist creeps towards the gates where has the sun gone? I was just stood under it in the town, it wasn’t this dark there. I feel as if I’m not alone here. I cannot see anyone but I feel it, someone or something is once again following me. I quickly head inside too scared to find out what it is.
“Where have you been?” Doreen blasts at me, “you were sent f
or some food and you have been gone for hours.”
“I didn’t realise the time, it took me a while to walk there once I knew where I was going and then I had to go round the store, I’m back now, why you so worried?”
“I’m....” she looks at me as if words failed her, “I thought.... it doesn’t matter,” she looks at the trolley, “you stole a trolley?”
Not exactly, I just ended up outside the orphanage with it, “no, long story.”
Her eyes widen as she sifts through the bags “how the hell did you afford all of this?”
Do I tell her the truth or do I lie? I cannot think of a lie that will justify this amount of food, I’ll have to tell her truth, “some man helped me,” I mumble.
“A man?” she looks horrified, “you let a stranger help you? Didn’t we teach you never to talk to strangers?”
Oh I think she’s angry at me, “yes you did, when I was a child and you never mentioned it since....” I quickly stop myself as I realise I was about to mention Henry, that will send her into rage, quick need to think of something else, “anyway you’re the one saying I have to leave here, shouldn’t I talk to people who are kind?”
“Not everyone will want to be kind to you, people will try and make you do things, dark things, remember who you are Willow,” she strokes my cheek and leaves, the look in her eyes show sadness and pain.
Make me do dark things? I shrug it off; the woman needs to lay off the booze. The children come running out and see the trolley of food, they cheer and hug me, “well come on we have to put this all away.”
“Thank you,” Ruby smiles at me and launches herself at me to give me a hug. I hug her back kissing her on the head.
The children go off to play just before supper is prepared and I feel like I need just five minutes to myself. A lot of strange things have been happening around here lately, not to mention my scary vision and dreams.
Doreen seems distant with me but then something will change in her and then she seems caring and worried. She says things to me I barely understand sometimes and I’m beginning to wonder if she knows more about my past than she is willing to admit.
She says I was abandoned here when I was around eighteen months old with a note, which she has never shown me. The police were never involved, which is the norm when children are dumped here and if I ask her what I was like in the times I have no recollection of, Doreen refuses to answer most of the time.
I don’t remember much of my childhood, sometimes I think I do and have a memory flashback or a dream but that’s all they are. The first memory I have was Doreen cuddling me on my birthday, I must have been about six and Henry bringing out a cake. When I think back to those times it puts a warm smile on my face, they were so loving and caring and acted like parents to me. Since Henry has died and I have gotten older, Doreen has changed towards me but now and then still shows like she cares.
I head to the shared bedroom and lie on my bed. I suddenly don’t feel very well. My head hurts and my hands are shaking, I don’t know what has come over me. My palm itches, the burnt tattoo seems irritated, ahh, scratching it is not easing the irritation, I need to just rest for a while I think, so much going on in my head it’s just stress, that’s all it is.
I am running through the woods again and something is chasing me, it’s large and black and is hell bent on catching me. I can’t breathe, the air is too cold. Panicking and fearful I hide behind a tree hoping whatever it is passes me by. The leaves rustle in the howling wind and the sticks crunch under my feet. I hear the sounds of heavy breathing and whatever it is has found me and it is now behind me.
I have nowhere else to run, nowhere else to hide. I am in the woods, surrounded by trees and darkness, there is nothing I can run into, nothing to protect me.
An arm reaches around the tree and I feel the warm touch on my shoulder. I try to scream but nothing comes out, just my heavy panting in fear and breathlessness. “Who are you?” I manage to get out afraid of what has caught me.
“We come for you, we all come for you, you need to join us, it is where you belong,” the voice echoes.
They come for me? Who the hell is coming for me, what do they want? The hand removes itself from my shoulder and suddenly I don’t feel so scared as it doesn’t seem to want to harm me. This tall black shadow appears from behind the tree and hover’s in-front of me, “who are you?” I mutter.
It doesn’t say a word, I cannot see its face but I know whatever or whoever it is looking straight at me. Something catches my eye, the symbol on the hand that burns bright red; it’s the same as mine. The thing points at me and moves closer as my heart beats, who is this and what does it want from me?
“Willow?” someone shouts jolting me from me from the bed. Was that another dream? I jump of the bed quickly make it and head to the children’s play room where I can hear my name being called.
I walk in to find Kirsty crying and another girl Charlotte cuddling her. Ruby is stood coldly watching them clutching on to her tatty teddy bear and sucking her thumb. The other children have distanced themselves away and are oddly quiet.
I walk over to Kirsty and kneel down, tears stream down her face and she looked terrified, “what’s wrong, what happened?”
“I didn’t mean to take the teddy; I just wanted to have a look at it,” she stutters crying.
I look over to Ruby who is still stood there watching, she seems fixated on Kirsty and the look in her eye is worrying even me, “Ruby, did you do something to Kirsty?”
Ruby looks at me and curls up her lip into a creepy smile, “it’s my teddy,” she murmurs, “mine, I just told her that, not my fault that she doesn’t like it.”
Kirsty looks terrified, like she has seen a ghost or something really bad but Ruby is none of those things, she’s a sweet little girl, she always has been in my eyes. I hug Kirsty and she trembles in my arms, “she’s dark, so dark, I saw things, open your eyes Willow to what is around you, it’s not what it seems....” Kirsty mumbles in my arms.
What things did she see; did Ruby show them to her? And if she did show them how did she and what did she show her? What does she mean open my eyes, she’s starting to sound like bloody Doreen.
Ruby walks off and goes into the bedroom and at that moment Kirsty calms down. I give her a reassuring smile and leave her with Charlotte. The other children keep their distance.
I walk into the bedroom to find Ruby sat on my bed humming to herself. I usually find her humming when she has just argued with one of the girls or has been told off by Doreen, but this is the first argument I have seen where one of the girls is scared of her, even I was taken aback by the strange look in her eyes. I sit on next to her on the bed as she gently strokes her tatty teddy, “Roob’s, do you want to explain to me what happened?”
She looks at me, her face so innocent, “well, she touched my teddy; I don’t like it when people touch my teddy.”
“Well maybe she just wanted to have a look; you know sometimes you need to share.”
She turns and looks at me as if what I have just said to her is the worst thing in the world, “but it’s my teddy and I don’t want to share it.”
I smile and move a hair from her face, “but you always share with me, why can’t you share with others.”
“I like you,” a soft smile sweeps her face, “me and you are friends, but they are not my friends, they point stare and laugh at me, so I show them, show them things that make them stay away.”
Point, stare and laugh at her? I have never seen that happen, “I’m sure they don’t do that and if they did do that you know you can always come to me and I will have words with them, we all have to live here so we all need to get along and learn to play nicely. What do you show them,” I ask curiously as Kirsty said Ruby showed her something, what could it be?
She says nothing but gives me an evil grin, her eyes seem dark and for a moment I am weary of her. She kisses my cheek, giggles and then runs off to play.
I watch her a
s she goes back to the sweet and loving little girl that I always see her to be, to me, she is never anything other than that.
I don’t understand, in-fact I am extremely confused. I sit on the bed mulling over what just happened when I feel a cold chill. Feeling watched once again I look to the window to see the strange black figure hovering outside. It taps on the window and points at me, although my heart races and I feel nervous, I am not as terrified. But I know something is after me, something sinister is watching me.