Four
I keep running and in a sheer moment of panic I end up in the woods. Mist surrounds me making it hard for me to see. I hear the footsteps behind me and the sounds of a child laughing. I swing my head around to see but the mist is reducing my visibility.
I hide behind a tree trying to catch my breath and then it dawns on me, this has happened before in my dreams. Whenever I hide behind the tree they always catch up to me, I have to run and keep running, I must not stop.
I run in what I think is a straight direction but I cannot tell, it’s too dark and strong mist surrounds me. The child’s laughter draws closer to me as the darkness moves above. I see it hovering over me.
“You cannot escape us,” it echoes through the air, “you are part of us Willow, do not run. We are here for you, here is where you belong.”
“Yes Willow,” Ruby appears from behind the trees, “I need you, we all need you, please don’t leave me, keep with you, that’s what you wanted isn’t it, that’s why I’m here.”
For a moment my heart pings for the sweet little girl looking up at me holding her hands out for me to take them. But then I see something in her eyes, blackness. I pull away, that isn’t the little girl I know, I want to be out of here, ‘someone please get me out of here’ I scream in my head. ‘Take me anywhere; take me some place away from here now.’
I hear them screaming as if they are suddenly very angry, my heart beats so hard in my chest it takes my breath away and then everything goes black.
I hear the sounds of birds chirping and I feel something rough and soft brushing against my skin. I open my eyes, it’s sunny and the sky is blue. Where the hell am I? My eyes blink rapidly adjusting to the sunlight beaming down over me, a butterfly lands on me, it’s pretty and beautiful. Its wings flutter and then it flies away. Am I dreaming? I sit up and look around me; I appear to be in some sort of meadow, or field, I cannot seem to tell. How the hell did I get here? Where is here?
“Are you alright miss?” a man stands behind me looking over and blocking the ray of the sunshine.
I look up; the glare covers his face, “Umm, yes, I think so.” I look around; there are no houses that can be seen just open space and this man, “sorry, can I ask where I am?”
The old man looks at me concerned, “Well Miss you are in Bushrill.”
Bushrill, that sounds familiar. My mind searches where I have heard that before, memories flash through my mind and then I remember where I have heard it. It’s a small farming community outside the city of Connecticut, how did I end up here? Must have been a thought suppressed in the back of my mind. I wanted to get away from the darkness and again I wanted something light and safe and here I am, lying in a field with an old man looking over me.
“Miss, let’s get you inside, you look like you need a warm meal and some clothes,” he puts his arm around me, lifts me up from the floor and leads me down the field.
After some distance I see a house, the house is a small cottage with ivy growing up the side and wild flowers in the garden. I walk in with him and there is a sweets smell of home cooking. I can’t remember the last time food smelt so good.
A small lady appears from the kitchen wearing an apron and drying her hands with a dishcloth, “hello my love, who have we here.”
The old man looks at me, “I found her passed out in the field, sorry,” he looks at me, “I didn’t quite catch your name there.”
“Willow,” I mumble shyly, “my name is Willow.”
“Willow,” the old lady repeats, “what a lovely name, you look terrible my dear, are you alright?” I nod at her question, I don’t know what I am right now, “Not worry my little flower, I will fix you up a nice meal and you can go take a bath if you like, get yourself all nice and fresh.”
I smile at her; her act of kindness is something that is completely new to me. These people know nothing about me and yet they are incredibly generous with their home and their food. I guess not everything away from the orphanage is dark.
I head upstairs to the bathroom and shut the door, I take a deep breath and try to think back to why my memory chose here of all of places. I don’t remember much as a child, it’s as if I have blocked it all out and now I struggle to get it back, why can’t I remember?
Then I remember Doreen hanging in her bedroom, why would she do that? This all seems too much to happen so quickly after what I saw in the woods.
My mind suddenly clicks to an old memory, oh, Bushrill, Henry brought me here once as a child and let me pick out a toy, I can’t remember what the toy was for but Henry told me that if I ever needed tranquillity or peace then to come here. He said it was a peaceful place and that one day something here may help me with what it is I seek. I never understood what he meant, I was a little girl.
It’s funny how this place never occurred to me until that moment when I wanted to get away from the darkness, but that still doesn’t answer the question as to how I got here in the first place. I don’t remember walking here and I don’t drive.
There is a shower over the bath, feeling the need I hop in and let the water run over me. It’s warm and it feels so bloody good.
There is a slight tap on the door distracting me, “Willow, dinner is laid out if you want to eat,” The old lady mumbles.
Mmm food, I’m so hungry. I quickly get out of the shower and dry myself; I look in the mirror and make myself slightly presentable. Pinching my cheeks together trying to get some colour in them I head downstairs, the food smells so good.
“There you are dear,” she kindly smiles at me, as she places a plate on the table.
I sit down and devour the ever so tasty meal. I feel like I’m showing myself to be right pig but as I’m so hungry I eat it quickly. This could be the most revolting meal to some but to me it is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth!
“Where did you come from dear?” the old man asks scoffing down his food.
The dreaded question I hear once again, “Doreen’s Orphanage for Girls,” I mumble embarrassed, can’t hide the fact really when I arrived dressed in rags.
“Really?” the old lady interrupts looking oddly at me, “Where did you live after that?”
“Nowhere, I have lived there all my life, I only left there yesterday,” well at least I think it was yesterday, my mind is so confused I couldn’t tell you the date, let alone the day.
“How is that so? That orphanage has been closed for years.”
Did she just say years? No it hasn’t, it’s still open and I have been living there. Yes people haven’t come by for children in quite some time but it’s still open. “I’ve been living there for seventeen years,” I tell her.
She looks puzzled still, like she doesn’t believe me, “I thought it was closed, the owner, what was her name dear” she asks the old man, “oh yes Doreen, she died and we believed the orphanage closed, it was in the paper, dreadful thing how they found her, luckily those children didn’t see it, would have been terrifying.”
When she died? She only died yesterday, I know that because I seen it. I lived there so I know it’s open, what would make her think that it is closed?
I carry on eating not wanting to bring it up again, something isn’t adding up with what happened there and in my own memory but tonight is not the night to go over that. I don’t want to drag these innocent people into my world of crazy. Besides, I’m sure people will start thinking there is seriously something wrong with me if I tell them I saw floating white lights, imaginary people and ghosts in the dark.
“You are welcome to stay here the night, no use you being out there in the cold,” the old man offers.
“Thank you,” I gently give a polite nod, “but I don’t even now your names.”
The old man laughs, “forgive me dear, my name is Arthur and this is my wife Joan.” The both smile at me.
I can’t stay here, god knows what will happen when I attempt to go to sleep, the best thing I can do at this point is thank them, “I would like to thank you for your hospi
tality, but I’m afraid I cannot stay here,” I don’t want to put these kind folk in any danger, “I appreciate the offer I really do, but I’m afraid I have to continue with what I started.”
The old lady gets up and hands me some clothes, “here, we used to look after children and passersby would rent rooms so we have clothes here, I’m not sure they will fit but they will be better than what you were wearing.”
That’s true, what I was wearing looks old worn and tatty and I stick out a mile off and right now all I have on is a bathrobe. I go upstairs to get changed, a nice fitted pair of jeans and a simple top. As I am sorting myself out the children of the orphanage spring to mind, shit! How could I have just left them there? There is no-one to look after them, I don’t know if Margaret is still there, holy shit I have to go back.
I run down the stairs to say my goodbyes, in a blind rush I trip over a sports bag lying there by door. Ouch!
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave that there,” a young man leans down over me holding his hand out. Dark hair and brown eyes and a kind of cheeky chap chewing on gum, “well are you going to get up or just lie there, by all means if you want to stay there then please say so I’m not standing here holding my hand out looking like a complete muppet.”
I take his hand and pull myself up, “sorry, I didn’t mean to, I mean I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
Joan comes out from the kitchen, “Oh Willow, I trust you have everything you need,” I nod and agree; “I see you met our son Toby, apologies for the mess he creates, always leaves his bag in the way.”
I laugh slightly, “boys aye, anyway thank you again but I really have to leave.” She hugs me and I hug her squeezing her to thank her so much for the kindness she has shown me.
“Do you need a lift?” Toby asks me scooping us his bag out of my way.
“Umm, no thanks,” I don’t want anyone dragged into this, “I uhh, I have to go.” I quickly head out of the cottage to look back and see him watching me leave.
I have to get back to the orphanage; those children probably haven’t eaten since I left. I cannot believe I left them without thinking, I just thought of myself. How selfish of me to do that.
I start walking back to the orphanage but I have no idea how to get back there, I still don’t know how I ended up in that field, at least I think it was a field, being sheltered all your life really does have drawbacks.
I walk down the road unsure of the direction I am going in but I know I have walked this road before, oh it’s cold, I feel a cold chill in the air. I look around but I see nothing except trees and open road, no vehicles are coming in either direction. I look behind me and see nothing, Am I going mad? I am paranoid that everywhere I go something dark is following me.
I turn around to carry on walking and there is a man, I jump out of my skin, “what the fuck,” I shout.
“I’m sorry for I did not mean to frighten you,” he apologises.
I look at him, “it’s you,” I murmur, “you were at the grocery store that day, you....you helped me and then you just left.”
He smirks at me, “indeed I was, I am helping you Willow.”
“How do you know my name?”
“I know a lot about you. You need to take my hand and come with me now,” he holds his hand out for me and something about him draws me in, who is this mysterious man?
Just as I am about to take his hand a car pulls up, I look and turn back to the man but he is gone once again, who the hell is he?
“Need a ride there, you’re going get soaked,” I lean down and see Toby, “what you say sugar?” He asks me.
Sugar, this guy is so cheeky. I look up and see its raining. I hadn’t even noticed, I’m barely wet as if it hasn’t touched me, then it pours down and I become drenched. Toby yells at me to get in the car and I do.
Driving down the road, the rain splashes down on the windscreen so badly I wonder how he can see where he is going. “So you want to tell me where you’re heading so I know if I’m going the right way, be kind of pointless if I’m not?”
I look over to him, “the orphanage?”
He looks confused, just as his mother did, “what the abandoned orphanage? Cool, what do you want to go there for?”
I stare out of the window as images of the night before rerun through my head like an old movie, I feel uncomfortable, how do I explain the reasons why I want to go there, it makes no sense to them why I want to go there and it makes no sense to me why these people think it’s abandoned. “Just, need to see something is all.”
He drives along the road trying to make small talk with me but my mind can only focus on the orphanage. Are the children alright? Are they even there?
“So, Willow is it?” I nod at him, “nice to meet you by the way, sorry about mom and dad, they can be very over loving.”
“It’s okay; it’s nice to meet people like that compared to what I have had to endure as a child. Nice to know some people love their children and others.”
“Where did you grow up,” I see the curiosity growing in his eyes, before I can reply we pull up outside the gates of the orphanage, “here we are, what are you looking for here?”
“My past,” I mumble as I get out of the car. The rain has stopped pouring and as I look up at the building it looks empty. Did someone come and collect the children?
Trees and leaves lay scattered across the yard behind the gates as if it hasn’t been tended to in years and the trees have fallen down in the wind. It didn’t look like this yesterday, leaves yeah but not fallen trees and branches. I push the gate open and they make a squeaking noise, they seem stiff and barely used. Granted we didn’t go out much but Doreen used to come out here and collect the mail each morning and the post box is on the outside of the gate. I check the post box and see that it is empty, so someone must have been here to take the mail, right?
I walk towards the front door as Toby walks behind me, “this place is giving me the creeps,” he murmurs.
I look back at him, “look you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to, you can go. I’m sure I will be okay by myself.” That’s a lie. The fact is I am terrified of what I will find here.
“No it’s okay; I like a bit of adventure and mystery. Are you uhh, you going to go in there?”
I look up at the dark black orphanage I once called home, a place where the sun never shines, “Yes,” I whisper. As I approach the door and push to open it, I once again get a strange feeling that something sinister is near, I push hard but the door will not budge.
Toby comes up behind me seeing my frustration, “hey its okay, calm down look I’ll help you.” He pushes his body against the door and it swings open. I grab him and run inside, afraid of what is lurking in the darkness behind me.
“Calm down love, you almost had my arm off there,” he jokes but I am in no mood for jokes right now.
The inside is not what I expected. Debris and leaves blow through the building as the windows are broken and shattered and items are scattered everywhere. I walk through to the bedroom and the beds are there with worn mattresses and blankets that appear to have not been used in years.
It’s as if this creepy worn down orphanage has been abandoned for years, now it just looks like the scary place you see pictures of on the internet. It looks nothing like it did when I left it yesterday.
“Lush place,” he mumbles sarcastically, “used to hear some stories about hear when I was a kid.”
Curious, I ask him, “oh yeah? What kind of stories did you hear?” I grew up here, would be interesting to know what an outsider thinks.
“Well, not sure how true it is but rumour has it that the woman who owned it went totally psycho after her husband died,” walking around I listen to his story as we go from room to room, “she then like staved all the kiddies and left them in rags, total psycho moment you know, yeah, she hung herself apparently after letting the orphanage rot, some say a strange child made her do it, some say she worshipped demons.”<
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“That’s a lie,” I blurt out, “where did you hear such rubbish.”
“Kids in school you know, we used to come here and hook up you know for like chilling or just to hand around and everyone would tell ghost stories....”
I put my hand over his mouth to shush him, something is in here and it’s not just me and Toby, he mumbles under my hand “shut up,” I whisper.
I look around the room and head towards the kitchen, the pots and pans are all over the place, rusted and black. I walk slowly as I feel the jitters that something is here, something is here for me.
“We have to move,” I whisper to Toby grabbing him by the arm and pulling him away from the kitchen. I pull him back towards the front door only to be confronted by the darkness that has haunted me for so long. It bellow’s out my name as Toby grips me in horror. “Run,” I scream.
We run backwards through the orphanage, passed the bedroom and into the back room where the children’s play room was, everything here looks abandoned too, what the hell?
We run further through the back door and into the gardens that lay at the back of the property. Toby grips me and pulls me faster as we run away from the darkness that is slowly gaining on us.