“You’re spending the night in a vampire lair with people who are chained up as you count on Deacon to handle things in the morning. I’d say you’re correct, things have gone terribly wrong.”
I frowned. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“I don’t know who I am anymore. Who is this person I’ve become? I don’t plan secret missions and make things explode.”
He shrugged. “Except, apparently you do.”
“Only because you’re dead. If you hadn’t died, none of this would have happened.”
“Well, that’s convenient. Yell at the dead guy. Sure, blame me. It’s not like I can come back and defend myself.”
“And then there’s this whole problem with Jason. Why am I not more worked up about him? He’s missing. But, somewhere in my gut, I knew he’d go. I’m not even surprised.”
Chad took a step away from me. “You know I never liked to hear about Jason.”
“And then there’s this whole thing with Deacon—”
He interrupted me. “I liked talking about him less.”
That was true. I stopped talking as I digested what he said. “Why did you like talking about Deacon less than Jason? The werewolf was my first love. He took the place you thought reserved for you. Why did you hate Deacon more?”
He clasped his hands in front of his chest. “I don’t know, Rachel. I’m dead. You can’t get those answers.” Chad let one hand fall to his side and extended the other one to me. “Unless you want to come dance with me.”
I didn’t. Dancing with Chad didn’t seem like it just meant dancing. My eyes flew open. I had the good sense, or at least I’d developed it over the years, of waking up silently, even after I’d had a nightmare or a weird dream. No one had to know I’d woken up unless they happened to look at me or I let them know.
I stared around the room. There were no windows to let us know if it was day or night. More people snored now than had earlier, and to my right, Deacon and his sister were whispering.
“She’s tough.” Wendy’s voice carried softly over to me. If I hadn’t been listening, I might have missed it.
“She’s had to be. Reminds me of you, actually.” Deacon answered in a louder tone. Subtlety had never been his forte.
“What is she doing with a wolf if she could have you?”
He laughed. “I’m not exactly easy and she had the wolf before she met me. Rachel doesn’t let go of people once she has them. It’s one of her best qualities.”
“She’s not pretty. You could do better than that.”
Her words burned me, and I hated that it hurt. She hadn’t said anything I hadn’t on more than one occasion. But it hurt to hear it, just the same.
“Rachel Clancy is so much more than pretty. She’s fierce…and beautiful.”
“If you say so.” Wendy groaned. “I’m getting too old for this. My head aches. I can’t stand how frequently I’m chained up. It’s starting to feel like it might be the end for me.”
“It’s not the end, sister. I’m getting you out.”
“You can’t have everything you want only because you want it. You can’t save us by force of will alone. You can’t make that girl leave her wolf boyfriend because you desire it. The only thing you can control is yourself. Even then, a lot of things just are going to be as they’re going to be.”
Deacon didn’t answer right away. When he did, his voice sounded hoarse. “You sound like Mom.”
It seemed like a good moment for me to make my presence known. I shifted my leg and stretched like I’d just woken up. Turning my head, I looked at Deacon and Wendy. “What time is it?”
“It’s almost time for me to release the chains.” Deacon stood up and walked to me. “I think we need to talk.”
“About a lot of things.” I took his offering and let him pull me to my feet. “Did you get any sleep?”
“No, I wanted to talk to Wendy. You did.”
His answer told me he’d checked me out to see if I slept, which was both comforting and weird. “I kind of dozed. Had a strange dream.”
I didn’t want to expand past that very much. It felt like I’d had a private conversation with Chad.
“I never remember my dreams.” Deacon lied. I don’t know exactly how I knew since most of the time I thought he had a really good poker face. At that moment, however, as I stared at his blank face, I knew he didn’t tell me the truth.
“What do we do now? Can I help get everyone unchained?”
He nodded. “Yes, let me show you how. They’re going to object. It hurts, and we’re going to have to help them dislocate their shoulders.”
I gasped. The idea of doing that…. No, it wasn’t going to happen. His grin caught me by surprise.
“Why are you smiling? This isn’t funny. I don’t think I can do that. Dislocate their shoulders?” A shudder wracked my body.
“You should see the look on your face. I’ve seen you do a million things that would make most people pass out, and you’re acting like this is the worst thing in the world.”
He reached out and moved a strand of my hair out of my eyes. “Relax, Clancy, I’m kidding. We aren’t going to be dislocating anyone’s anything. I’m going to pick the locks.”
I shoved him, hard, in the shoulder. “That wasn’t funny.”
“Oh, but it was.”
I wanted to curse my ridiculous heart that found him strangely attractive when he did this kind of thing. No one played with me like Deacon did. Everything was serious all the time, even when it didn’t have to be. By contrast, he had a way of making everything fun when it should be really hard.
“How are you going to pick the lock? With your fingers?”
“No, with my secret weapon.” His eyes sparkled, and I had to remind myself how annoyed I felt with him. Deacon had secrets, and I couldn’t totally trust him again until I figured them out.
“What would that be?”
From her spot on the ground, Wendy called out. “I’ll go first, little brother.”
“Yep.” Deacon moved toward her, my question still unanswered. Then he turned around to face me, pointing at his wrist. Deacon always wore a strange metal bracelet. He never, ever took it off and once, when I’d asked him about it, he had told me it had been a gift from his father. Having never gotten anything from my own father, I’d felt slightly envious of his memento.
“Your bracelet?”
Deacon took the metal off his wrist, pulling at the clasp. It swung in the air for a second, dangling from where he held it between his forefinger and his thumb. When it stopped moving, I could see it more clearly. It wasn’t just a bracelet. No, it was a mechanism; a thin pointy device that I could see would easily fit into the small hole that would open the chain.
I stepped forward, narrowing my eyes as I regarded him. “So, it’s not so much that you are talented at opening locks as you happen to be lucky enough to have the right tool?”
“Sometimes that’s all it takes. It’s been passed on from father to son since we came to live underground.”
In a moment, I heard a click and Wendy’s arm came loose. She exhaled loudly and rubbed her wrist. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you.”
“Missed me or missed my ability to do that?” He rubbed her head before turning to the next person.
“Both.” She stood up. I hadn’t realized when she’d been seated just how tiny Wendy really was.
Deacon moved around, systematically unlocking the chains on every person in the room. I lunged toward him. “Why didn’t you do that last night? Everyone could have slept with their hands unchained to the wall.”
“At least one of them would have freaked out and run from the room. That would have blown the whole thing.”
“What thing?” I threw my arms in the air. “I don’t even know what we’re doing.”
“We’re getting out of here.” He motioned with his chin. “Through the door we came in.”
“We still don’t have weapons.”
“If we’re lucky, it won’t matter.” He stood. “Everyone with me?”
They all spoke at once, but the general consensus seemed to be that they would follow Deacon anywhere. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from saying no. I wasn’t ready, not at all. Trepidation had formed a lump in the pit of my stomach.
Deacon moved to the door and opened it a crack.
“It’s empty. Let’s go.”
I nodded, not that it mattered since everyone moved anyway.
The people we were with were clearly not used to subterfuge. They made more noise than the entire construction team in Genesis did when they built irrigation systems.
I tried to hush them but my voice went unheard. Deacon turned around and stuck a finger to his lips to shush the noise, and they all fell quiet. On silent feet, I made myself move to the head of the room to stand by him.
He pointed farther down the hall and everyone began to walk again. As far as I could tell, we’d probably be fine as long as all we encountered were sluggish vampires. We continued down the seemingly endless hallway until Deacon stopped. To his right was a door bigger than the one we’d come into where we’d spent the night.
Our fearless leader had apparently decided we should go in. I raised an eyebrow and he looked up at me. Deacon had gone to that place again where I couldn’t read him, where I had no idea what he thought or what he wanted. He touched the door handle and paused.
My gaze dropped to examine his movements, like I was a video camera and the director of whatever movie I watched wanted me to pay attention to certain details. His fingertips shook for a second before he grasped the knob fully. Deacon never got worked up like this.
My breathing quickened. In all of our time fighting together, I had never seen him nervous except when he thought I was about to die.
I grabbed his arm. “Tell me what is going on.”
“I told you, we’re getting out.”
“You’re lying to me. This is your chance. Do the right thing. Tell me what is going on.” I let my fingertips dig into him slightly as I tugged on him.
“I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
I blew out a breath. “What does that mean? Stop talking like we don’t know each other, stop acting like a stranger. You’re important to me. Do you understand that? Lately, I’ve been thinking—”
He interrupted me. “Don’t do that now. We had plenty of time and now there is none. I don’t have a choice. I’ve been racking my brain for so long for a way out of this and there are none.”
My eyes turned to Wendy. Nothing about her had changed. She waited, her eyes wide, for us to open the door. This wasn’t about her. It was about Deacon. I fought the urge to scream.
“Tell me what is going to happen to me when we go in there.” I still hadn’t let go of his arm. If I did that, then I acknowledged the end of Deacon and me. He’d become this entirely different person, a betrayer, like Jason.
“Andon came to me a few months ago.” Jason’s father? I didn’t interrupt but let him continue. “They’re going to kill my family. All of them. It’s not the vamps. I did everything I could for you, Rachel. You’re not to be hurt.”
I let go of his arm. “Wasn’t it you who told me never to trust a monster?”
“I love you. We’re going to be together. I swear it. They’ve promised.”
“They nearly dropped a ceiling on your head. Do you think them trustworthy?”
“Rachel….”
I waved his words away with a flick of my hand. “I got myself into this, I suppose. Ultimately, it’s my fault. And I won’t deny you your family’s life. But know this. Whatever happens—I’ll never be yours. Ever.”
If my words held gumption, my insides didn’t share their sentiments. I opened the door myself, wondering if I was going to throw up.
Chapter Fourteen
I walked through the open door. I guess I could have tried to run away. Maybe I should have. But I didn’t. Maybe I wanted to help Deacon—even though he didn’t deserve it, and I basically wanted to break his head into two pieces—or perhaps I thought I could still figure out a way out of whatever was about to happen.
I’d been waiting for that moment. For a year now, I’d been waiting for Andon Kenwood to try to have me killed in a very public way.
The room I entered looked similar to the ones I’d been imprisoned in when I’d been captured by Icahn and his men. This time, however, it was been brightly illuminated with torches and artificial lighting. I grinned at the appearance, which I knew made it really apparent just how sick in the head I had become. I couldn’t help the smile. Andon really did like to make a spectacle.
The only major change to the captivity room was that someone had constructed a stage. Humans walked around, seemingly in a daze if the blank, far-away looks in their eyes were any indication of their mental state. Not that I could blame them. A lifetime of servitude to the undead and the wolf population could do that to a person.
“Rachel.”
“Shut up, Deacon.” The last thing I could tolerate was the sound of his voice. I was too focused on the scene in front of me.
Up on the stage as if they were in a terrible play were Andon Kenwood and a face I’d hoped never to see again—the werewolf Payne. He’d been my jailor and had delighted in torturing me in the brief time I’d been in the mines. Of course, I’d all but destroyed his life when I’d forced the vamps to blow up that facility. Too bad he wasn’t dead.
Chad had beaten the heck out of him with a makeshift club. I’d enjoyed watching that. Looked as if he was going to get his revenge.
I made my eyes stay on Andon and Payne because I knew if I looked left or right I would find Jason. He had to be here somewhere. And not just my boyfriend, but also his sisters and his friends…all of the people I’d come to know and like. They’d all be involved in bringing me down. The pain of that might knock me onto my knees before Andon or Payne got to take a turn.
“Hello, Rachel.” Andon’s voice sounded smoother than I remembered it. His blue eyes, the same as his son’s, were tinged with red. I took a step closer. Yes, Andon’s eyes matched Payne’s in their red-ring. That couldn’t be good. Had Andon started drinking from the same water as Payne? Had he been re-caught in Icahn’s destruction? And, if he had, was Jason also changed?
I turned my head, forcing myself to do what only seconds ago I had been incapable of handling. For me, however, curiosity always outweighed my other instincts. If I wanted to know what had happened to Jason, I could endure the pain.
Quickly scanning through the crowd behind Andon, I didn’t let my eyes linger too long on the dazed, faraway stares that covered Autumn and Luna’s faces. Instead Jason, who had been my whole world, held my attention. He regarded me with nothing but disdain.
“What did you do to him, Andon?”
“I’ll be honest. It’s becoming less and less clear to me.” He took a step toward me on the stage. “All I know is that I’ve come home and so has my pack. It’s so much more comfortable not having to fight all the time. You caused me such anxiety and distress. Now, I don’t have to feel those things anymore, and neither does Jason.”
“Did you ask him?” I pointed at Jason. I’d hated Andon for the better part of a year but now I wanted to cause him physical harm. If I had my machete, he’d already be headless.
“I don’t have to ask him anything. I’m Alpha. I have his best interests at heart.”
Jason stomped up next to his father. He pointed at me, and it felt as if he’d struck me. “Kill her, Father.”
“Patience. I like these things to be neat and orderly.”
“Jason.” I called out to him. The part of me that foolishly believed I could be Carol Lyons and he could be Patrick, the part of me that foolishly believed in happy endings, the part of me that forcibly made me forget all the bad things and only remember the good, wanted him to turn at the sound of my voice and snap out of it. As if
suddenly, he would awaken because I had said his name.
Instead, he growled, his eyes glowing red. I’d never see them blue again, never feel their warmth as they looked at me as if only I existed in the world.
“Stop talking to her and end her.” I could see Jason’s fingernails elongate. He was getting ready to shift. I swallowed. My last conversation with Jason had been an argument, and now the last words I would hear him say in his human voice would be a call for my death. It appeared we would never again watch snow fall through a window together as if it was the most magical occurrence on earth.
“This is an awful lot of fuss, Andon. Why not just have at me and be done with it?”
“No, Andon.” Behind me, Deacon’s voice filled the room. I wished for once he would listen to me and stop talking. “You said she wouldn’t be hurt.”
I rolled my eyes. “Considering that they dropped a ceiling on us, I’d say any promises they gave you are probably not worth much.” Why did I have to keep repeating myself?
“I said she wouldn’t be hurt here.” Andon looked satisfied with his answer, and I wasn’t certain why. He’d just admitted to lying to Deacon. Not that I cared, at that moment, what happened to Deacon. Except that, of course, I still did. Why couldn’t my heart flip over in an instant? Why did it take so much time to get used to things like betrayal and goodbyes?
“If you’d just let her die a few weeks ago, none of this would have mattered.”
Suddenly, Deacon’s actions seemed very different to me. He hadn’t been weeping because he’d been so upset that I’d nearly died. No, he’d been distraught because if I died, he didn’t get his family back. My stomach turned over, and I almost threw up. How long had this been going on? How much manipulation had I been subjected to?
Deacon’s voice sounded through the room. “So, then you admit that you helped the wolves attack us?”
I turned around to stare at Deacon. Had he lost what remained of his mind? “What does that have to do with anything right now?”
Andon grinned. “I did. It was so easy. How can people who have been so constantly betrayed be so perpetually clueless?”