“I want you to bring my mother back for my father. I want Chad returned home to his family with no idea that he’s cloned.”
“Very reasonable. We’ll need time to start your mother up but it should be done in time.”
“Great.” I took a step toward him. “I want every single one of them returned to Genesis in good condition with absolutely no memory of me.”
Icahn’s eyebrows rose so high I thought they might shoot out of his head. “What?”
“I want to stay here. I can’t go back there knowing what I know and I can’t stand the idea of your messing with my head again. I can’t. I’ve always known in my soul that I wasn’t who I was supposed to be. These last six months, I’ve been depressed. I think they’ll all be much better off without me. I don’t add anything but trouble. No memory of me. Take me out of their memories so I don’t pollute their lives anymore.”
I knew he didn’t understand. I barely did myself. But I knew if I went back knowing what I knew buried in my head, I would somehow end everything again. Genesis could be a wonderful life for those living in it. But I wasn’t meant to be a part of them anymore. I had too many ideas they didn’t want. The Turtle wanted to both have me killed and feel me up.
With my mother back, my father could be the man he was supposed to be. How could I look at him with anything but disgust?
I wasn’t made to live in Genesis even if I knew saying goodbye to the people who resided there would mean the end of what was left of my soul.
“Darren will be glad to have you here.”
I shook my head. “No he won’t.”
“Whatever you say.”
“I want a few minutes with a few people to say goodbye.”
“Of course.”
And just like that I’d not only altered my fate but that of every person I knew. I turned around and tapped on Chad’s tank. I hoped I hadn’t made the biggest possible mistake.
***
Icahn’s people left that morning with instructions on how to get around the Warriors, how to bring them down, and what to expect in resistance. The words had burned in my throat as I’d said them but I hadn’t faltered. Chad could feel pain today.
I stood staring at him when Noah casually strolled into the room. “You did the right thing, you know.”
“I know no such thing.” I leaned my head against Chad’s glass. “Any word?”
“It’s going perfectly. Almost all the resistance has fallen.”
“Who is left fighting?”
Noah shrugged. “Keith and his crew.”
“You don’t like Keith.” I could hear it in the way he said his name.
“He’s been a thorn in my side. He wasn’t supposed to be in Genesis but the people setting up his habitat didn’t want him there. He was a reporter, caused problems, always stirring the masses.”
That was funny considering Keith had told me not to be subversive. “You created the myth then, about him being brought over to teach.”
“Dad thought it lent a certain amount of flair to things.”
“Noah.”
“Yes?” He smiled and I wanted to slap it off his face. He smelled like scotch and it made me gag in my mouth.
“Go away.”
“You’ll learn to respect me.”
I shook my head. “I doubt it.”
***
They’d all been brought into the facility the night before but I hadn’t been allowed to see anyone yet. Most everyone had to be put under immediately. It had only been my request for two conversations that had prevented everyone going into stasis.
I leaned against the wall waiting for Chad to open his eyes. He’d been taken out of the water and declared fit. Icahn was unsure where his memories would pick up. DNA was funny, he’d said. Whatever that meant. Clones could remember their last moments. For a little while. Chad had always been an overachiever. I had no doubt he’d wake up in his own unique way.
Not that the person in front of me was really Chad. It was Chad’s clone. Except that he even smelled like Chad. Woodsy and male. My Chad was dead. This one would get to have a life. How could I doubt my decision?
His dark eyes flew open, and I stopped breathing for a moment. I thought I was prepared for this. Being in his presence moved me, a feeling that I hadn’t anticipated. It knocked the wind from my lungs and made my eyes blurry. He’d been dead, and now he wasn’t. I hadn’t asked for this strange power but it had been thrust onto me.
“Rachel?”
I made myself move to him. “Hi there.”
“Where am I?”
“In a place called Redemption.” It seemed best to be vague.
He sat up and groaned. “I’m so weak.”
“Your strength will return.”
Chad grasped his chest, placing his hand over his heart. “Something happened to me.”
“You were hurt.”
He reached out his hand to take mine. “You saved me. You ended it like you said you would.”
“Don’t be afraid.” I didn’t like how his voice shook. ‘You won’t remember any of that shortly.”
“Why not?” He pulled himself into a sitting up position as he reached out to stroke the side of my face.
“Icahn has ways. We made a deal, he and I. Bringing you here was one of the things he did.”
“Rachel.” His voice dropped an octave. “You shouldn’t make deals with that man. He’s evil.”
“I know but he found a bargaining chip I couldn’t resist.”
“Me.”
I didn’t argue. The real Chad had known me too well and this one, it seemed, did too.
“I won’t let this continue. I’ll find a way to get you out of whatever deal you’ve made with him.”
I shook my head and leaned down over him. “You won’t even remember me tomorrow, sweetheart.”
“What?” he shouted. “Rachel, what did you do?”
I pressed my lips to his, so glad for one more moment with him even if it was fabricated. He paused for a second before his lips met mine. Any objections he would have made died in those precious touches. I had never thought to see him again let alone get the chance to press my lips to his. Tears streamed down my face, and I did not wipe them away. Finally, I pulled back to look at him.
“You’re my best friend, the best of all of us. Without you, nothing was worth doing, seeing, thinking, or feeling. But I’m so changed now. I don’t belong around anyone. Especially not you. I’ve done things, Chad. Things I’m not proud of. The girl you loved died when you did. Please forgive me.”
Before he could answer, I turned on my heel and ran for the door. I knew it made me cowardly to escape him. I never thought of myself as very brave to begin with.
***
Deacon’s eyes opened, and he immediately pulled at his restraints. There was no way he was moving. They’d bolted him down. His head turned wildly, and he saw me. His face lit up and it made me want to weep again. When this was all over, I’d have no tears left for anything.
“Rachel. What is going on? We were attacked. You were taken. What is happening?”
“I could tell you. I really want to tell you but then you’d have to live with the same problem I had, and I won’t do that to you.”
“Untie me. You’re not making sense. We’ll get out of here.”
“There’s nowhere to go.” I walked to him and placed my hand in his. Deacon had strong capable hands. Someday he’d take care of his wife and family with them. I wondered if I would ever sneak back home to silently watch from afar. I wondered if I’d want to go drown myself in the lake afterwards.
“We have to make a run for it.”
I sat on the stool next to his bed. “Listen to me, because I don’t have the luxury of a lot of time.”
“What?”
“None of what I’m going to say is going to make any sense to you. I need to say it anyway. I know why I doubted you in the vampire lair. It was because to believe in you—in everything you are—is t
o admit that I have a partner in the world when I’ve always been so content to be alone.”
“You’re never alone, and this is feeling way too much like a goodbye. Knock it off.”
I ignored him and continued. “Jason was a fantasy. Something that shouldn’t have traveled over time with me. I love Chad. I always will but I’m not naïve enough to believe I can only love one person in my life. I’ve made decisions that I don’t think he could understand. You could. You see me as I am, and you love me.”
“I do.” He tugged at his arm restraints. “Rachel, let me out of here. I can help you. Whatever it is.”
“You would never have let me be in charge.”
“I would have.” He paused. “About half of the time. Don’t say goodbye to me.”
I moved even closer to him. “You won’t remember me, and I’ll never forget you.”
I pressed my lips down on his. Unlike the sweetness in Chad’s kiss, I felt heat radiate from Deacon even as he was strapped to a table and unable to touch me with his hands. I stroked my finger down the side of his cheek, feeling the slightest stubble beneath my tips.
“I love you, Deacon.”
The guards picked that moment to enter the room so I backed up. I had no other choice. If they were to get on with their lives, without me there making things bad, it was time for them to get started. Deacon hollered my name as I ran from him. If I lived a thousand years I’d never forget the rage in his tone.
Icahn had agreed with me. Genesis would return to the way it had been before I screwed it by turning sixteen and starting a revolution that hadn’t fixed anything. In one month’s time, they would all go home.
Without me.
The thought didn’t make me sad. I wasn’t the girl who had been born in Genesis anymore. Nothing I did solved anything, I only made things worse. This time I could be unselfish, even if no one would ever remember me to ever acknowledge my decision.
It was better that way.
***
My name is Rachel Clancy. Thirty years before I woke up from a cryogenic freeze, the world ended. Some of it was Icahn’s fault. I’m alive because my boyfriend dragged me to a science center and there had been space for us there.
I can’t go back. I can only go forward. But I have no idea what that means.
Redemption
The Warrior – Book Four
By
Rebecca Royce
~DEDICATION~
To Terry, for the first three books. With my thanks.
Then
“I hate the nickname you’ve given me.”
Rolling over, I elbowed Jason hard in the chest. He grunted, more for show than actual pain, I suspected, and laughed. If my parents came home and found us lying in my bed together, there would be hell to pay. We only cuddled, but they wouldn’t care. All they would see was me, their sixteen-year-old daughter, Rachel, with her boyfriend, sprawled out together on my bed in my bedroom, a place they’d banned us from being alone in months ago.
I snapped my gum in my mouth and reread the text my best friend Kayla had sent me. She wanted to go to some club, wanted me to come out with her. If I went, I’d have to do so in secret. I’d never get permission to go, and Jason might actually lose his mind if I let him in on the plan. Sometimes he got really, really possessive. I hated when he did.
Most of the time.
“Why do you hate your nickname? Pixie-girl suits you.”
“Blah.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m way too old for fairy tales. I prefer to live in the here and now. The real world. Come up with something else.”
“I’ll call you whatever I want. End of story.”
I stood and made my way over to the window.
Why do I let him come into my bedroom if I’m just going to spend the entire time he’s here worrying about getting caught?
Apparently, he hadn’t finished talking. “Rachel, there’s lots of real things in the world. Things existing outside of your definition. Even some things found in fairy tales. Don’t be so closed-minded. I don’t like it.”
Jason’s voice had gotten low and sharp. I knew the tone well. Every once in a while, my sweet, gorgeous, blond, horribly popular boyfriend would seem like a different person. Where had the Jason I loved gone? Every once in a while he seemed entirely changed. I shivered and rubbed my arms. I pretended I had all the answers to life’s problems, but deep in my heart I knew I still had a lot to learn before I handled the kind of baggage Jason’s intensity spoke toward. Or so my mother said.
“Are you listening to me?” He banged on the wall as if his action might make me answer him faster.
What brought on these episodes? I mean, really, how much secret history did he have to hide to justify his darkness? He’d been born the upper-middle-class son of a prominent research physician. Jason’s troubles seemed pretty null and void to me. My family wouldn’t end up on some reality show for the deprived, either. My father, a science teacher with his summers off, who liked NASCAR, and my mom, an investment banker, managed to provide me with everything I needed or wanted. Unless something really awful happened behind closed doors, neither Jason nor I had much of a leg to stand on when it came to “issues.” Hence, why I had such a hard time understanding Jason’s dark, spooky side.
Usually, I pretended I didn’t notice the change in him.
“Whatever. Come up with a different name. I’m not allowing pixie-girl.”
He stared at me, his eyes narrowed, but even through the slits, I made out the beauty of those blue depths staring at me. After a second, he grinned and I let out the breath I’d been holding. The strange moment had ended.
“You know I’ll always take care of you. Don’t you? Nothing will ever happen to you while I’m around to prevent it.”
My heart fluttered, and I made my way over to the bed to press against him again. This version of Jason had made me fall in love with him. “My mother says you’re too much for me.”
He nodded, kissing the side of my face. I felt the faintest touch of whiskers against my skin. Jason, two years my senior, could grow facial hair on a regular basis—a strike against him as far as my mother was concerned.
“She’ll come around, or she’ll get out of the way.”
I drew back, biting down on my bottom lip. “What do you mean?”
“Mommy can’t control you forever.” He moved a piece of my hair out of my face, his gaze roaming my body. “And my mother adores you. Thinks you’re the best thing to ever happen to me in my entire life.”
I grinned, levity returning to the room. Jason had a way of making me forget everything but him. Who cared if he sometimes went a little dark? We were teenagers; we were supposed to be sort of sullen. It should have bothered me a lot more than it did, how I so easily, so seamlessly, rewrote his difficult traits into decent ones in my own mind until I convinced the world Jason Kenwood didn’t have any not-so-nice qualities. I didn’t do the same in other parts of my life.
Maybe I needed to read some sort of book on bad relationships. I blinked. Does that last thought mean our relationship qualifies as bad?
I rubbed my forehead. Why did I have to overthink everything? “I am the best thing in your life.”
He exhaled loudly. “I know.”
His firm lips met mine and all coherent thought fled. Kissing Jason made me shake, like an addiction. I loved it. I loved him. I hated loving him. And the sick thing—the part of my life I didn’t understand—was Jason seemed to know all of this even though I never told him. Like he somehow read my thoughts.
As he pulled back to look at me, he grinned. “I love you, too, Rachel. And I don’t even mind how you question everything about us all the time.”
I sucked in my breath, afraid to ask him how he managed to always know what I thought when I never said it aloud.
“Your parents got home about thirty seconds ago. I’ll go out the window.”
I closed my eyes. Nothing ever made any sense anymore.
***
&
nbsp; Now
My name is Rachel Clancy. I have so many memories like the one between Jason and me. I don’t know the real ones from ones that were fabricated by a maniacal scientist who somehow justified his actions as doing the right thing. Truth is, I don’t care very much.
As I once, maybe, told Jason, I have to live in the here and now. The present demands my total attention. It doesn’t matter if I wore a red dress to my sophomore prom and Jason kissed me under the chandelier in his parents’ foyer, or if I spent the night of my birthday filing down stakes to give to Chad Lyons for his battle Upwards.
In the present, I’ve abandoned both versions of myself in favor of this new girl I’m still trying to figure out. I live in Icahn’s lair, wishing his entire clan dead even as I know we need them to handle the Vampire disease, the same one when caught by Jason—surprise! He’s a Werewolf—turned him feral, ending any remote chance we’d ever had at happiness together.
The same illness had required me to stake Chad, who’d been my boyfriend until he became a Vampire, through the heart.
The condition made loving Deacon, who had wanted to date me for some reason I didn’t understand, an impossibility because there is no such thing as love in the rules of this new world where I reside.
I’ve made a deal with the devil. Chad lives again. Cloned. And, per my request, they’ve all forgotten my very existence.
It’s better I never lived in their hearts and minds, because what I have to do can’t be hindered by the fears, hopes, and dread of loved ones. I have to kill the boy who once crawled out my window. I have to end him and his entire pack, including his father. They’re too dangerous to be allowed to live.
I have no doubt in my ability to do it. The Rachel who couldn’t raise a machete to take off his head doesn’t live in my body anymore. I’m even looking forward to it. I can’t kill Icahn; he’ll simply be cloned back to existence. But I can rid the world of monsters.