My mother took in my arms as my father made his way down the stairs. “No, Dad.” I stopped him. “He isn’t going to come through the door.” I heard the slight telltale thump telling me Jason had arrived in my room. My parents never noticed the noise or they thought it something other than my boyfriend sneaking in through my bedroom window.
“Rachel.” My mother turned me to look at her. “Are you telling me Jason has been coming in through your bedroom window without us knowing it?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I’d found a way to make a bad situation much, much worse.
***
Now
I rushed through the streets of Genesis with Chad and Deacon right behind me.
“You might want to slow down before you draw any more attention to yourself.” Chad spoke at me through gritted teeth.
I didn’t have to see him to know his frustration; I could hear it in the way he couldn’t quite pronounce his words. Those teeth were gritted tight.
“I’m not concerned with who sees me right now,” I called over my shoulder. “I’m only interested in getting out of here. Now.”
Before Icahn stopped raving, got his logical mind back on track, and turned off the elevators. Before it all collapsed around me.
“Rachel!” This shout didn’t come from either of my current companions but from Tia Lyons, who booked it down the corridor toward us. Next to me, Chad swore.
“Go home, Tia.”
She shook her head, the only acknowledgment she gave to Chad’s demand. “Rachel, if you’re leaving, take me with you.”
I stopped abruptly midstride and almost collided with Deacon. His hand caught me, pulling me upright when I would have fallen. I stared at him for a second, looking for any trace of the boy I’d known so well I’d been convinced we were cut from the same cloth. A cold, removed glare returned my gaze. I shook my head. I had to let go of the idea anything could ever be the same. It simply couldn’t.
I turned my attention to Tia. “You have a baby.”
“They won’t even let me see him. I’m crazy, remember?”
My heart sank at her words. Tia had been a lot of things—and some of them were really difficult to take—but she’d been a good mother. Seeing this side of the shift made the world seem darker.
“You can’t simply leave him….”
She interrupted me, some of the fierceness I’d come to associate with Tia returning. “I need everyone to know I’m not nuts, I’m actually right. They’ll know if I come with you. You can’t leave without me.”
“Tia.” I took her arm. “There was a time you went Upwards, and when you did, you freaked out. I mean really pulled quite a scene. If I take you with me, I can’t have you lose it. You can’t break down if you see a Vampire or something else scary. “
“I won’t.” She nodded. “I promise.”
She couldn’t really make me a promise she didn’t know if she could keep. How did a person know whether or not they’d freeze when they encountered the Undead? Still, I guessed if she wanted to come she could. I could no longer in any kind of good faith decide what everyone did with their own lives. I’d already played hard and fast with the fates of others.
I took off running. Screw trying to be discreet. Whoever came with me, came with me. I called over my shoulder. “Suit yourself, Tia.”
Finally I reached the elevator, only to find it guarded by a Warrior whose name was Jack. I’d had virtually nothing to do with him when I’d been at Genesis. I didn’t even think we’d ever fought together, because he had at least ten years on me. As one of the few Warriors to live as long as he had and keep fighting, I considered him a force to be reckoned with. Getting up the elevator if he didn’t want me to would be virtually impossible.
I hoped he didn’t know I intended to knock him out.
“Hi, Jack.”
He stared at me blankly. “How do you know who I am?”
“Long story.”
I punched him squarely in the jaw. He doubled over, gripping his face. I could see blood drip on the floor. Later, I’d feel bad about the assault. I just had no choice. I couldn’t allow Icahn to win. I had to finish what I started and then I’d gladly take my punishment. For now, anyone who happened to fall in my way had to be eliminated.
Before Jack could bounce up, I kicked him in the back, pushing the elevator button. It dinged as it opened. I grabbed Jack’s machete as relief flooded my system. Clearly, Icahn hadn’t altered the policy that the elevator always be Downwards when someone didn’t happen to be using it. And if the powers that be didn’t get it together in time to stop our elevator from the control panel, I’d get away because of this rule.
I rushed inside, staring down at Jack as I did so. “In a couple of weeks, come and find me. I’ll give you leave to kick the crap out of me.”
My language had deteriorated. My mother, if she remembered me, would be horrified. She’d worked so hard to make a lady of me. Of course, if she had any idea the foul words I’d heard my drunken father use while she’d been dead, she’d probably be more upset.
Chad, Deacon, Tia, and Micah—who I hadn’t realized had also joined us—climbed in around me. The elevator jerked as it began its journey skyward.
Chad spoke first. “You didn’t have to hit him. There would probably have been another way.”
I shrugged even though the horrified look on Jack’s face would probably stay with me for a long time. “It got the job done.”
“Where are we going?” Micah panted like he’d run to catch up with us.
“To a place called Redemption.”
Tia giggled. “Sounds like a metaphor.”
I supposed it kind of did and the grin threatened to take over my face fell into the category of completely inappropriate.
“What’s a metaphor?” Micah’s question made me jump.
“In another life, you were a decent student.”
“What?”
I didn’t answer him and silence fell over us as the elevator banged and twisted its way to the top. In a second, we’d be outside seeing real sun again. I’d missed it. Whatever happened to me in the future, I wouldn’t be going to live back underground. None of us should but I kind of suspected no one would be asking me for my opinion on the subject.
Chad spoke right before the elevator opened. “It’s a figure of speech, dumbass. When you use something to describe something else not related. It’s raining cats and dogs.”
The elevator opened and we stepped outside. A cold blast of air hit me square in the face, reminding me it was still early spring and not yet summer. I shivered. The temperature had dropped since I’d been Upwards. I’d had a long day and it didn’t appear to be over yet, even though the sun had vanished from the sky for the night.
“How did you know? I don’t recall them teaching us about metaphors in Warrior school.”
Chad didn’t answer but stepped out next to me. “I just know it.” Out of the corner of his eye, he stared down in my direction. I knew he had to be thinking about the revelation I’d made earlier in the room with Icahn.
“I will explain all of it. But first I have to go see if something I left on the ground earlier is still there.”
I highly doubted it. Even if Jason had hung around, which he would have been idiotic to do, he wouldn’t be sitting in the same spot waiting for me to come and kill him.
“You told us there would be answers. I want them now.” Deacon moved to block my exit.
“Out of her way.” Chad shoved him. “Even I know we can’t stand here and talk. They’re going to be after us in no time flat.”
“Do you guys know the location of the River Outpost?” It had been the start of my journey with Jason a year earlier. I’d been sent there to die, and instead had gotten clobbered over the head and dragged off to live with the Werewolves for a while.
Chad nodded. “I know it.”
“Me too,” Deacon responded.
If Micah knew it, then only Tia didn?
??t. He nodded before looking up at the sky. “I think it’s going to rain.”
I didn’t care. Let it pour. I’d reached the point where nothing Mother Nature could dish out to me could be nearly as bad as what humanity threw my way.
“You guys split up. Micah, take your sister. We’ll meet there, in the morning. If we break into separate groups, we’ll be harder to track.”
Deacon laughed. “You don’t really expect us to trust you to show up.”
“You can because I will. There has never been a time I’ve let you down. Even if you can’t remember it. Somewhere inside of you there has to be a voice telling you I’ll be there. Unless I’ve been killed.”
Micah answered for Deacon. “I believe you.”
Deacon’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I’m not sure why but I trust her like I know her. It’s weird.”
“I trust you, too.” Tia smiled.
“Great.” I turned to run away, seeing the woods lay out in front of me. Deacon called my name but I didn’t turn around. After a few minutes, when I didn’t hear his footsteps behind me, I knew he’d not followed me.
The Lyons trusted me but Deacon didn’t. Why? Or maybe he did and he just couldn’t let down his tough-guy mentality for even a second to give me a break.
Guiding myself using only the light I could get from the half-moon and the stars, I made my way through the woods.
I rounded the bend, getting closer to the spot where I’d dropped Jason earlier. I expected to see nothing, not even traces of the Wolf I’d set out to kill and would now have to recapture in order to fulfill my goal. Instead, the bright light of fire beckoned me in the darkness.
Jason sat next to it, staring at the flames. My well-tuned instincts turned on, tingling up my spine. Werewolf.
And not just any Werewolf but the one I wanted to kill, sitting still, looking contemplative. Maybe it was the moonlight or the red glow from the fire or maybe it had to do with the tired lines around his eyes or the way he chewed on his bottom lip, but I could tell the crazy that had been consuming Jason for some time had passed. Instead, sitting in front of the fire was the boy I had loved twice: first in high school and later when I’d come to spend time with the Werewolves.
This return of Jason had been exactly what I’d hoped to avoid, why I’d wanted him dead before he’d gotten back into his more human mind. Jason would eventually become a deranged lunatic again and whenever he lost his mind he wanted me dead. I knew how strong he could be, having fought him myself. I couldn’t leave him out there to destroy others, not after what I had to do.
Breaking up with him in the before-time had been hell. Killing him would be….
A cool breeze hit my back, ceasing my brief interlude, as I knew the wind would bring my scent straight to Jason. As if on cue, he sniffed the air and jumped to his feet.
“Rachel.” He stared in my direction and I knew even if he couldn’t see me with his eyes, he would know exactly where I stood based on his nose alone.
“Jason.” I took my stolen machete off my back while I walked toward him. “I see you’re up and moving.”
He cocked his head to the side. “I’ve been sitting here hoping you would come back. My head is really muddled but I remember some things—”
“Tell me one thing, would you?”
We stood about a foot away from one another. The last time he and I had spoken like this he’d threatened my life.
“Anything.” His voice quivered. “I’m so glad you’re talking to me.”
“Did you know the whole time? Did you lose your memory of before, or did you know the whole time? Could you remember who we were when I couldn’t?”
This question had haunted me for months. I knew what Icahn would tell me: Jason had remembered us; he’d manipulated the whole thing. Still, I needed to hear it from him.
“I could never forget you, Rachel.” He took a step forward and I stopped his approach by pointing my machete at him. “I guess you finally remember me, too.” He said his response with so much hope infused in his voice I wanted to gag.
“And you used it.” I wanted to throw something but I would have had to drop my machete and I wasn’t going to put my weapons down. “To manipulate me when we met again. Did you arrange our encounter? My having to go to the Outpost so you could save me?”
He shook his head. “I don’t have power. Maybe my dad does. But, no. I knew you lived nearby. I did things to hope to run into you but seeing you the day out there? I was shocked, too.”
I believed him. Maybe I shouldn’t have…what reason would he have to lie?
“I broke up with you, Jason. We were toxic and I needed to live a life that didn’t include you in it. Nothing has changed except I have to end your existence before you hurt someone. If you haven’t already.”
“I know why you think you have to.” He lowered his eyes a touch, and I could see the Wolf hanging out inside of him. Jason might be back in his right mind and want to work something out between us, yet I had no doubt his Wolf would fight me to the death if I attacked. Werewolves were only partly contained.
“You do, huh? You think you know why I have to kill you?” I took a step forward, straightening my back. Between Icahn, Chad, Deacon, and Jason, I’d reached my limit. Someone had to go down and I’d be damned before I let it turn out to be me.
“I can remember very little from the times we go feral. Just a sense of things being really wrong, of everything going askew. I must do things, then—really bad things. You’re angry. I get it.”
I shouted. “You were always bad, Jason! Always.” My voice shook. “You lied to me from the moment you met me. Both times.”
“I know but—”
I spoke over him. I had a lot to say and I had no intention—none—of stopping until I’d gotten it out. “I broke up with you all those years ago because you frightened me, because you were bad for me. Hell, Jason, you ended up breaking my father’s nose because you were so angry he wouldn’t let you see me. All of it makes sense now. I know you’re a Werewolf.”
“I don’t lose control of my Wolf like anymore.”
“No, you just become an evil, maniacal lunatic under the control of your father any time he succumbs to the virus. Excuse me for not exactly believing you are somehow better off. You knew who I really was. I had no memory of the time, no idea my whole life happened to be nothing but a big fat joke implemented by a madman.” I had to find a way to calm down or I’d soon be out of breath. Still, I couldn’t help but continue. “You knew. You lied to me over and over again. You manipulated me. You’re a lying, deceitful jerk.”
Jason let out a long breath. “Rachel, I love you. You’re my mate.”
That word. I hated it. With a surge of anger propelling me forward, I raised my machete. I was taking off his goddamn head.
Chapter Ten
I swung at Jason’s head, hoping I could take it off in one swift whack. If tears happened to be streaming from my eyes, I didn’t care to figure out why. Jason backed up two steps.
“Rachel, think about this. You’ve been angry before. When this is over, you’ll just feel awful you killed me. I need you. The pack needs you. We have to rescue my father.”
“Jason, in case you have missed the gravity of this situation, I intend to kill you right now. I’m not going to change my mind. I’ve thought of almost nothing else for months. And as for you father, I hope when the Icahns are done with him, they skin him alive.”
He shook his head. “You’re saying things you don’t mean.”
“Don’t tell me what I mean. You don’t know me. Not even if you can smell what I’m thinking. Tell me something, buddy. What does my scent tell you now?”
Jason nodded, his blond hair falling into his eyes. “It says you’re not thinking rationally.”
“Shut up.”
I lunged at him again, swiping left. He ducked right, growling at me. He tried to grab the machete from my hands and if I hadn’
t stepped back, he would have. I cursed and jumped to the side, pulling my weapon back next to me.
“Aren’t you going to shift and show me what kind of monster you really are?”
He narrowed his eyes and I noted they’d remained in their human form. Jason’s Wolf always rose to the surface when he felt endangered. I’d clearly not been threatening enough.
“It would be easier on you, wouldn’t it? Then you could write me off as another monster you’ve eliminated. No can do, pixie-girl. If you end me, you can look me in the eye while you’re doing it.”
“Fine.” I kicked him hard in the stomach. My fighting-monster genes kept it from hurting. If I assaulted Deacon the same way, I’d be in horrible pain.
Jason stumbled backward, his eyes widening. “You’ve gotten really strong.”
“What? You’re surprised I might have gotten better considering you threatened my life? Did you not think I might now want to be able to kick your sorry behind the next time we face one another?”
He swallowed hard. I could see the muscles in his neck clenched. “I don’t remember the feral time clearly. It’s not fair for you to hold it against me. I love you. You’re my mate.”
“Guess I’ll just have to live mateless.”
I swung my Werewolf-killing device at him, missing his neck but catching his shoulder and the side of his arm. He swore, clutching his wound as blood seeped through his fingers.
“You cut me.” Now, his Wolf appeared fully in his gaze. Perhaps, he’d finally take me seriously.
“Does it hurt?”
He nodded. “A lot.”
“Good.” I swung again, this time missing him completely. Then, as our bodies collided mid-stride, the movement sent him hurtling to the ground.
“Okay, I believe you.” He jumped to his feet. “You want me dead. I get it. I can’t feel the same way toward you because I love you. Because you’re my mate.”
“Do you think if you say it enough I’m going to care?” I raised my machete. “I’m not your mate. I’m nothing to you.”
Tears flowed down my face as I spoke. I knew I looked pathetic. What kind of Warrior wept while she killed a Werewolf? Jason shouldn’t mean anything more to me than any of the other countless monsters I’d eliminated.