Chapter 4
Growing up
Neli and Coralita had gone to my parents’ bedroom with mama. They were watching TV while mama sewed a dress. When Coralita was around, Neli stayed very close to my mama. It was funny seeing Neli cling to mama’s right arm and Coralita to mama’s left hand when they walked anywhere. I could imagine my mama being a wishbone. Those two would barely let her move.
I was in the kitchen when my older sister, Anai, came in. She told me she had something important to talk about. First she needed to greet mama and went to mama’s bedroom.
Another menstrual period talk, I said to myself.
Anai returned to the kitchen. She had a very serious look on her face.
“Miranda, don’t freak out at what I’m going to say, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, bored already.
“You’re getting to the age when you’re no longer a child.”
“Okay.”
“As you grow older, your body changes—it develops,” she asserted.
“Okay,” I said.
“Your breasts start growing.”
“Okay,” I said.
“Don’t freak out but blood—”
“Neli trudged in. She stepped over to the refrigerator and took out sandwich fixings.
“You’re interrupting us,” Anai stated, irritated. “Can’t you wait until I finish with Miranda for your sandwich?”
“No, I can’t,” Neli grumbled. “Coralita is hungry.”
This situation I never understood. Neli was always making Coralita food. If she didn’t like our niece, why did she feed her? Why did Neli make sure the child didn’t go hungry? Neli was so weird!
“Hurry up,” Anai proclaimed. “I’m having a very important talk with Miranda.”
“Mama already told her about her menstrual period,” Neli shot back matter-of-factly. She was slathering lots of mayonnaise on the bread. Coralita loved the condiment.
“She did?” Anai asked, looking at me with eyebrows scrunched together.
“Yes, earlier today,” Neli blurted.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Miranda?”
I eyed Anai before I answered. “Because you wanted to tell me so I let you.”
“Ay, Miranda,” she burst, chuckling. “You know about the monthly cycle too, Neli?”
Neli rolled her eyes. “Why is it such a secret? It’s just stinky blood.”
“Neli, how did you know about mama telling me about the monthly cycle?” I questioned furiously. “You were supposed to be in the shower.”
She cut the sandwich in four pieces so Coralita could hold them better.
“Neli, answer me,” I demanded.
“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Neli opened the refrigerator again and placed the sandwich fixings back. She grabbed a little box of grape juice. “I don’t have time for questions. I have to feed Coralita while you lazy bums sit around and yakety-yak.”
Neli rushed out of the kitchen with her hands full of Coralita’s meal. Anai and I stared at each other and shook our heads. Then I had one of my brain surges. Neli knew about the talk mama had given me because she probably stood at the door and heard it. That was why her shower was longer than usual. It really wasn’t. She only pretended so she could hear us from outside the door. I started counting to ten before my stomach furiously blew open with an explosion.
“Don’t be so angry at Neli,” said Anai.
“Why is she like that?”
“Everybody has their own idiosyncrasies.”
“What’s idio…idio—”
“Idiosyncrasies,” Anai finished for me. “Strange behaviors. Everyone has some strange things about them.”
“But Neli doesn’t have only some. She’s all strange.”
Anai chuckled. “You know she isn’t. She has a lot of energy and is very creative.”
“She drives me crazy,” I burst.
“Miranda, there’s something you need to learn about life.”
She had pinched my curiosity. “What?”
“People don’t always act the way you think they should. Sometimes they don’t seem to make sense at all. They don’t need to make sense to you. They need to make sense to themselves.”
“You mean Neil makes sense to herself?”
“She’s trying to.”
I think my older sister was trying to tell me to accept people for everything they were. People did strange things to find out what was deep inside them.
“Everyone needs to feel important,” said Anai, “to feel good about themselves. Sometimes people do bad things to get attention, so they feel important.”
“So Neli is trying to feel important?” I asked with disbelief. “That’s why she does those weird things?”
“Yes.”
“Children,” I muttered, rolling my eyes as I sighed.
“Adults do the same.”
“Really?”
Anai chuckled. “Being an adult doesn’t mean being mature all the time. If you’re lucky, you’re mature most of the time.”
Being a grown-up was going to take more work than I thought. After Anai left, I trekked over to my bedroom. I took out my journal from my secret compartment in my drawer. Then I opened it with a key from a long chain I wore on my neck. I wrote:
What does it mean to grow up?
I couldn’t think of what else to write. I put up the journal and started placing my dolls in a large cardboard box. Coralita came and stared at me for a few seconds.
“What are you doing?” she asked, puzzled.
Neli stepped in also. “Yeah, why are you putting your dolls away?”
“I’m giving my dolls to Coralita.”
“Really?” Coralita questioned, excited. “Really? Really? Really?”
“Yes,” I answered, “All except my Selena Quintanilla Perez one.”
“I already have a Selena doll,” informed Coralita.
“Why are you giving her your dolls?” Neli snapped. “Why don’t you give them to me?”
“You don’t like dolls, Neli,” I answered matter-of-factly.
“I’ll take good care of them,” Coralita assured.
“Yeah, right!” Neli burst sarcastically.
“Yes, I will,” Coralita insisted. “I’ll dress them and give them tea.”
“Nobody wants to drink your stupid tea,” snarled Neli. “Not even the dolls.”
“Brenda says a lot of people drink tea,” Coralita stated. “Mom said the same thing.”
Neli’s eyes became small and full of scorching fire. “Don’t call her mom! She’s my mom!—not yours! Brenda is your mother. You’re a big fat cabezona.”
“Don’t call her a cabezona,” I snapped.
“But she is a cabezona. Look at her big head.”
“I don’t have a big head, do I?” Coralita looked at me with saucer-like worried eyes.
Mama had said it was bad to lie. But how could I tell Coralita that it was the truth? She did have a big head. Sometimes I thought her head looked like a big pretty apple. When I helped her put on a blouse, I had to pull down hard so it went over her head. She didn’t look bad or abnormal, but she did have a big sized head.
“Yes, yes, yes! You do have a big cabezota!” Neli blurted.
“I don’t, do I?” Coralita’s huge innocent brown eyes kept looking at me, pleading with me to agree with her.
“Well, mijita,” I said, feeling my tongue wanting to blow up, “you… you…”
“See, you do have a great big head,” Neli proclaimed. “I told you so.”
Coralita started to whimper. “I don’t want to have a big head.”
It was then that I had one of my brain surges. “You should want to have a big head.”
“What?” Coralita asked, her face shiny with tears.
“The way I see it, it’s good to have a big head,” I announced.
Coralita’s mouth flew open. “Why?”
“Yeah, why?!” Neli snapped.
“The bigger your head is the bigger your bra
in must be,” I declared. “You’re a very smart girl, kiddo.”
“That’s silly!” Neli spat out.
“No, it isn’t,” insisted Coralita excitedly. “I am smart.”
Neli turned to me with her hands on her hips. Her index finger waved in front of my face. So, that’s why you call me cabezona?—because I’m a smart?”
“No, I call you cabezona because you don’t listen,” I stated.
Neli’s face twisted. She threw her hands in the air. “You two are against me!” She started walking out but as she arrived at the door, she swung back around. “Coralita, you look like Humpty Dumpty. Miranda, you look exactly like Feo’s ugly butt,” she snickered as she closed the door behind her.
Coralita was very quiet as she shook her head.
“Don’t pay any attention to her,” I stated. “Neli says things without thinking sometimes.”
“Don’t you know that Neli is mean? She’s very mean. Don’t you know that?” she asked, her eyes fixed on me.
How could I argue with that?