Her serpentine eyes were taking me in. If I didn’t know better, I would think she could literally swallow me whole. The only thing missing was her devil horns. I was sure that she had them. She had to be one of them, one of the evil ones. Her deathly eyes scanned the room as her laughter rolled off the walls of the Starbucks I was in. I was pretty sure I was the target of the joke, whatever it was. The door swung open, and her raven hair blew gracefully in the wind, landing strand by strand, creating a web to disguise the person who just came in through the door. My world began to swirl around me. Nothing seemed right about what I was seeing. It was Athen, and he was heading straight over to greet her, not even glancing my direction.
Why would he know her? He spent his life fighting creatures like her. I spent my life fighting creatures like her, her evil. We all have. Emptiness was filling every part of my body. I caught his eyes for a brief moment only to realize there was absolutely no recognition. It’s like I never existed. I was just another patron waiting for a latte. I tried screaming as loud as I could. Nothing came out of my lips. This nightmare had to end. I had to wake up. I tried to force myself out of my deepest level of sleep yet. It wasn’t working. He was enamored with her, with her beauty. There she was, staring back at me, grinning with her perfectly polished teeth. And then, her hand slipped through his as they exited, throwing me one last smile for the road. I immediately crumpled to the floor, feeling like a hollow shell of a person.
I awoke not in the leather chair that I fell asleep in, but in Athen’s bedroom. Matilda was sound asleep next to me, and Athen must have slept somewhere else. Sadness crept in very quietly, especially in light of my latest nightmare. I refused to call it a vision. I tried to force myself back to reality as if I could make these images less credible by ignoring them. I let the last shudder run through before I let myself enjoy where I was.
I secretly imagined what sleeping next to him must feel like. I had seen Athen’s room before a couple of times but seeing it from this vantage point was nice. I had the comforter pulled up all the way to my shoulders, and I embraced the warmth from his flannel sheets surrounding me. I noticed for the first time that he had a few pictures of me scattered in frames on his dresser. There was one of me at the dog sledding tour and one when I was dangling from the zipline, but there was one that I knew didn’t occur in Whistler. I wasn’t even sure what decade it was, but there I was in full glory standing by a Christmas tree with Athen, his sister Arie and Cyril.
It was so weird to be looking at a piece of history, my history, but with no recollection. I looked so happy. I hoped I would be able to remember all of those times. As I was daydreaming about the picture, I noticed a dog that looked an awful lot like Matilda stretched out under the Christmas tree. I shot up and ran over to the photo and looked at it closely. Sure enough, it was Matilda. I was barely able to wrap my brain around our situation, but now I really couldn’t begin to fathom how Matilda would continually be in our presence. I made a mental note to ask Athen about that one. I looked at her on the bed still snuggled up as tight as a bulldog could be and decided to climb back in bed. Everything in Athen’s house was so meticulous and in its place, but his bedroom showed his character. It was attractive, bold, and very soothing. The décor was all in earth tones and very modern. There were dashes of red in the pillows and drapes – my favorite color. He had the softest grey throw on the bed. I couldn’t help but pull it up as I snuggled back in.
I kept trying to purge the images from the night before. I didn’t know if my nightmares were back because of the attack or if they were actually visions. I prayed with all of my heart that what I was seeing were not visions of the future. The darkest nightmares always ended with someone I loved being destroyed or vanishing. Last night losing Athen’s love was almost worse than any of the other dreams so far. Maybe that was how Athen had felt for all of the years unable to connect with me. I didn’t know. I knew I could bring him back from a lot of things, even these creatures supposedly - but another’s love, deceitful or not? I had no idea. I hoped to never find out. A few weeks ago, being woken up in terror by beasts tearing me apart seemed like the worst case scenario, but after being reunited with my family, I knew the visions that were most devastating were when any of them were in danger.
I would be lying to myself if I didn’t recognize that more times than not, they were staring danger straight on, and the outcome was not always as I hoped. I shivered as the image of Athen being defeated flew into my mind in an instant with his glow being diminished and floating gracefully up to the sky. I immediately flushed it out as fast as it came as if the mere acknowledgment would make it real. It was almost too much for me to handle between thinking that Athen could be taken away from me by these horrid creatures, whisked to the sky with nothing left or, possibly worse yet, stolen by a woman claiming to love him and possibly getting to him before me. This had to be my mind trying to reconcile the stories I was told of my demise mixed with the worry that I could lose my love again. There was no way any of this could happen. His love was too strong for me. I was certain of it, but the serpentine eyes piercing through me wouldn’t leave my thoughts.
Matilda readjusted herself as I found my spot when I heard rustling come from down the hall. It sounded like the others were getting up. I hesitantly got up from the comfort of Athen’s bed and decided to go shower. I trudged into the bathroom, seeing all of my things organized perfectly on Athen’s bathroom counter. Excitement began to build, but self-doubt started infiltrating my happiness. I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case I woke up from this dream life that suddenly started presenting itself to me as complex and unbelievable as it may be.
The previous night’s dream didn’t help either. Their hands interlocking; I pushed the image out of my mind instantly. The shower was running hot as chills came over me. I began shaking and had to sit down before I fell down. Between the nightmares while I was sleeping and the battle that took place before falling asleep, I felt like I was burdened with more than I could handle. How did I even know what was what anymore? What was real; what was fantasy? I was safe for now, and I knew that I was protected with everyone by my side, but the fear that ran through me the night before wouldn’t go away. I was sitting on the floor holding my head trying to make the imposter stop attacking me when I heard footsteps coming. I knew at once who it was going to be so I tried to sit up before he caught me looking so miserable. It didn’t work. I was a wreck.
Athen knelt down, gently reaching for my chin. I grabbed him as the tears began flowing down my face, unable to control the emotions that I prided myself in hiding. I couldn’t stop and wasn’t even sure what made me start. Not even being able to decipher fact from fiction any longer, I didn’t know if it was the actual events that took place or my dream with the serpentine eyes, but being in his arms began to make me feel halfway human again – even though I never really was.
“I’m so sorry.” I began sobbing over and over again into his shirt, which was quickly becoming saturated.
“Ana, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything I put you in danger. I didn’t tell you the gravity of the situation because I always counted on being there when the demon arrived. I knew I could finish him, but I didn’t expect him to get to you before I was there. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“I never understood the seriousness of the situation before. I’m so sorry. I know you had told me that the demons tried to procreate with humans and us, the white demons, but I never imagined it would happen to me. If only I had paid attention. I knew it wasn’t you, but it looked so much like you that I let everything override my senses. You could have been killed, and it would have been my fault.”
“Ana, first, I was never in any danger. It was a young demon. It probably thought it had a chance. As you saw, it didn’t. Second, the demon’s ability to morph is what gives them and us the advantage. We can morph as well. Tha
t is something that you’ll relearn in time. It can work to our advantage. I should’ve told you the full implications of a demon’s actions, and I didn’t. I was too cocky. I have been so happy to have you back in my life. It’s like I’m showing off all over again. This did teach me to be more cognizant of our surroundings, like when we were searching for you. I let my guard down. What you witnessed is what happens to us. The only difference, if it matters, is that the black demons turn to the black mist that you probably saw or they shatter to pieces. Whereas the white demons or fallen angels, like us, turn to white, sometimes with a green cast, as they’re phased out. We almost look like a fog that is rolling to the sky. If it didn’t signify what it did, it would probably be quite breathtaking. Hence the term white demons.”
I crumbled in his arms, and his warmth came through to my bones. The image of him being taken away from me in my dream made the tears resurface. I couldn’t lose him. I made myself switch thoughts immediately. I couldn’t jeopardize Athen possibly reading my mind. I saw Matilda wagging her tail as best she could, which reminded me of the pictures I saw in his room and figured now was as good of a time as any to ask. Good way to switch gears.
“Athen, I saw some of our pictures in your bedroom. I was wondering how Matilda could be in the pictures that aren’t current?”
“That’s a funny one to explain.”
“Really? I think, at this point, it’s all about the same,” I said laughing to myself, more than to him.
“So she is kind of like our little homing beacon. She is the only link we have when or if we get separated. She is our family’s spirit in a sense. That is the one benefit that the white fallen angels have over the demons. That is why if we choose, we can stay together as a family. It’s the one gift that was given to us when this entire thing started. It just so happens that we chose in recent decades to have our spirit masquerade as a bulldog.”
“Huh, I’ve heard more bizarre.”
Athen squeezed me one last time. I was so relieved I could confront him and get honest answers. I think he sensed that I was feeling better and wouldn’t be breaking down into tears again soon. He helped me up into the shower as I prepared for my day. I could tell this was going to be a long shower. I definitely needed it after everything the last 24 hours presented, both real and imagined. The thought of almost losing Athen, even though I have repeatedly been told that wasn’t going to happen, and finding out my little Matilda is a homing beacon, made for a headache bigger than my meager shell could handle.
CHAPTER 17