CHAPTER III
INTRODUCES A MERITORIOUS HEBREW
I had hardly time to open the window ere they were recovered of theirentry and on their feet. Seeing what I was about to attempt they madea rush, but I did not bear youth and vigour in my limbs for nothing.With a quickness that I'll warrant would have done no discredit to acat, I had poised myself on the precarious sill, and had twisted myselfinto a favourable position for reaching the roof. It was easily inreach, as this chamber very happily was at the top of the house. I hadbarely taken a firm hold on the iron gutter that ran along the edge ofthe tiles, before I had drawn up one knee, and was in the act ofdragging up the other as fast as I could, when it was seized by a handfrom the room below. Luckily for me, I had a firm enough hold of theroof to get some little purchase for my imprisoned leg, whereby I wasenabled to deal my adversary a pretty smart kick in the teeth, whichsent him cursing back into the room. Thereupon I scrambledwilly-nilly, hands and knees, on to the tiles. Not one moment toosoon, however. My pursuers evidently numbered fleet and active fellowsamong them. Their blood was up too. For scarcely had I gone ten yardsalong the edge of the tiles, moving on all-fours for safety, ereanother fellow was also in possession of the roof. This was not at allto my liking, and a good deal outside my calculations, since I had notexpected that these clumsy Bow Street runners would attempt to followme in this fashion.
My pursuer gave a view-halloa and followed me so fast that I realizedat once that at this game Jack was like to be as good as his master.Perchance the fellow was better schooled in this mode of procedure thanI, for he was clattering behind me, preparing to grab my heels before Icould take my bearings. I did not know where I was, and had not theleast idea as to how I should get away. But one thing was plain. Ihad embarked on so bold a course that the moment there was a limit tomy daring all would be lost. Therefore, hearing the Bow Streetgentleman wheezing and grunting a yard or two behind me, I stopped androse to my feet, and turned round so suddenly as considerably toendanger my own safety and to take him entirely unawares. And I sentmy fist such a crack in his eye, that only a miracle saved him fromtoppling over the parapet into the middle of Jermyn Street, twenty feetbeneath.
While Mr. Catchpole sprawled and wallowed with his arms and legsoutstretched striving to save himself from falling over the brink, andhowling to his mates, whose heads were just showing above the gutter,to come to his assistance, I took the occasion to alter my tactics.Instead of crawling along the edge, I began climbing up in a verticaldirection. And my pursuer being but a runner from Bow Street afterall, had been considerably cooled in his zeal, and accordingly allowedme rather more of elbow room, whilst his companions, of whom two morehad now come upon the top, observing the nature of his accident, werein no such hurry as he had been to come by one themselves.
I mounted painfully enough as high as the chimney pots, not withoutsome damage to the skin of my hands and knees, and a good deal ofslipping and sliding. A game of hide-and-seek followed. Reaching theopposite slope of the roofs, which concealed me and put me farthestaway from the enemy, I crept as swiftly as I could from chimney-stackto chimney-stack with ever a keen eye for a means of getting down againinto the street. Some yards ahead I saw that the straight line of thetiles was broken by a dormer window. I made to this for here was thevery chance that I desired. Alas! when I reached it I found it securedfrom within. I had no time in which to break a pane of glass in thehope that I might put my hand through and discover the fastenings. Acouple of the traps had already found out in which direction I hadgone, and were even now standing on the apex, and beckoning to theothers. I moved away to another dormer window a few yards further on.It too was fast, but looking ahead I saw, greatly to my relief, that athird was standing open. My satisfaction had a short life, however.For scarcely had I made two yards towards it ere I observed a thingthat in my haste I had overlooked. The line of the houses endedabruptly; the open window belonged to another row. Between ran analley or a narrow street, wide enough to make me pause in my career.Hard pressed as I was, I must confess that I had no fancy to attempt aleap so precarious. I turned to go back, but the enemy had followed sosmartly on my heels that I saw in a glance that there was no chance ofretreating by the way I had come. My only hope lay in a forwarddirection; I could not possibly retire. Nor must I hesitate an instanteither. The closer I came to this gulf in the houses the moredesperate it looked, but my resolve was already taken. A drowning manclutches at a straw.
Impeded as I was with a cumbersome riding-coat, I could not hope tomake the leap successfully. Hastily pulling it off, therefore, Ifolded it up in some rude fashion, for I could not afford to lose it,and pitched it over a space between the houses. It landed in safetywell over the immediate brink. The traps, apprehending the nature ofthe feat I was about to attempt, were coming along the roof withwonderful expedition. Indeed, they are almost within an arm's-lengthof me when I started on the run to make the leap. With teeth set, andit must be confessed some little sickness of anticipation in my spirit,I ran as hard as I could, and hurled myself into the air with adespairing energy. That I covered the gulf and landed with my knees onthe coat I had cast across, I have always ascribed to that benevolentProvidence that hath such a jealous regard for the worthless. And insooth when I had actually arrived there it was one of the greatestwonders in the world that I did not fall back again in the recoil, ordid not begin to roll sideways and so tumble over the lower edge. Butsomehow I recovered my balance before either of these calamitieshappened. Then I felt that I might breathe again.
There was precious little to fear that the men from Bow Street would bebold enough to follow me. For when I came to contemplate, now as youmay believe with no little satisfaction, the magnitude of the hazardintervening between us, it cost me a shudder in despite of mycomplacency. And as in their case it was not a life and death matteron which line of the roofs they happened to stand, and they had nothoughts of adorable little Cynthia to spur them on to these greatrisks, I think they may be pardoned for giving back before that which Iwith so many sweats and misgivings had accomplished. Nor do I lay anyunction to myself, since I am sure that had I stood in their shoes, orhad I played for a lesser stake, I would have had none of such riskseither. Nay, I am not altogether clear in my mind that had I not beenheated by the fine excitements of the hue and cry I should have beenwrought up to do it as it was. There can be little doubt, I think,that the chase makes a much nobler and more adventurous creature of thefox than ever consists with his vulgar and common character.
Seeing my pursuers had halted on the opposite brink, and werepresenting such a helpless and bewildered appearance as plainly showedthey had no stomach for a similar deed, I was able to resume my ridingcoat at my ease, and even to engage in a few words of conversation as Idid so. Says I:
"Certainly, gentlemen, I think you are well advised in not seeking tocome over. 'Pon my soul I would not have come over myself had you notpressed me so hard! Here is a guinea to drink my health, and now Iwill wish you good afternoon!"
Such is the power of habit that I fumbled in several pockets in searchof a gold piece to toss them, ere I recollected the bankrupt conditionin which I stood. Perforce I had to be content with a bow and alifting of the hat, whereupon I went my way along the roof while theywere left at the end of their wits to discover a means by which theymight circumvent me.
I had not an instant of time to lose, however, if I was to make good myescape. There were doubtless persons in the street below who had had akeen eye for these proceedings. No sooner would they see in whichdirection the cat was to jump than they would act accordingly.Therefore it behoved me to be as bold and as quick as ever. The opendormer window offered the readiest mode of egress. I made to it atonce, and peering within saw that the chamber, a bedroom, was veryhappily empty. I had no difficulty in squeezing my body through thenarrow opening and so came into the room. Having done this, I securelyfastened the window to present a further obstacle to
my enemies. Thegreat thing that lay before me now was to make my way downstairs ascautiously as I could, and to slip out of the house without attractingthe attention of its occupants, or of those of my foes who might belurking about in the street. But much address was required to performall this successfully, as you will readily understand.
First I opened the door of the bed-chamber with noiseless care, andthen groped my way through the gloom and strangeness of the place tothe stairs. And mighty rickety and full of noises they were when Ifound them. They began so sheer and abruptly, and so close to thebed-room door, that in spite of my caution, I was on them long ere Ithought I was, and as a consequence nearly pitched headlong down theirwhole length. Mercifully I recovered my balance in the nick of time,but not before, as it seemed to my nervous ears, I had set up anintolerable clatter that appeared to echo and re-echo through everyroom of the house. Step by step, I crept down the stairs, and pausedto listen on every one. It was so dark that I had to be very tenaciousof the walls. But fortune was still on my side. There seemed not asoul in all the house, nor could I hear a sound. Yet every step Idescended the place grew darker and darker; there was not so much as aglimmer of light from a door or a window to be discerned; while thewalls were so close about me that when I stretched out my hands I couldfeel them on either side. Presently I ceased to descend, whereon muchshuffling of my feet ensued, and I concluded that this was some kind ofa landing. More shuffling and gingerly manoeuvring followed, and thenthe stairs began again, and the place grew darker than ever. Thedarkness became so great that I could not see my hand before my face;and as I had not the means about me to procure a light, nor would havedared to employ them had they been in my possession, I began to marvelwhere in the world I was coming to.
At last the stairs ended altogether, and on pushing carefully forward,my nose suddenly came against an unexpected obstacle. Running my handsover it, I judged it to be a door. I put my ear to the wood, butlisten as I might I could hear no sound. Whither it led or what laybehind it I had not the vaguest notion, nor was there a speck of lightby which I might make a guess. But when the handle of the door cameinto my fist, I decided not to flinch the situation whatever it mightpresent. A bold course had been my salvation hitherto; come what mightI would continue in it. Therefore, I cautiously turned the handle, andopened the door an inch at a time, I daresay I had got it about fiveinches apart when it was rudely grasped from the other side, and flungwide open in my face. A Jew stood before me, as true a child of Israelas ever I set eyes on. He cast up his hands and gurgled in his angerand surprise.
"Why, what the deffil!" says he at last.
"How do you do, sir," says I, cordially holding out my hand. "Proud tomeet you, sir, infernally proud to meet you."
Although I had hoped that my air and tone were the very pattern ofaffability, I doubt if this Hebrew thought them so; or even if he did,he hardly seemed to think they became me in the circumstances ashandsomely as I had hoped they would. For he gurgled and cackled, histawny countenance grew redder and redder, his hands trembled, and hecontorted his body into a truly fantastic shape. Meantime I gazed pasthim to see whence he had emerged, in the hope that I might get someclue as to what would be the best line of conduct to adopt. To myinfinite pleasure I saw that I had come upon the threshold of apawnbroker's shop, since a truly miscellaneous collection of articleslay scattered about it, whilst the character and nation of myinquisitor alone warranted the theory. Yet in an instant was mysatisfaction turned to anger, for there, staring into my very eyes withall the meditative grandeur he had of yore, was that learned nobleman,my grandfather. It was well for M. Francois that he was not at thatmoment within my reach.
"What do you do here?" says the Jew, having discovered his tongue atlast. "Do you think I do not know? You haf come to rob my house.Benjamin, bring your blunderbush. In broad daylight, too. O heaven,what effrontery!"
"My dear Mr. Moses," says I winningly, "what words are these?Effrontery--rob your house; to conceive that I, the best friend yourtribe ever had or for that matter ever will have, should be thusaccosted by you! I am here as a client, sir; and to conceive that youof all men should deny a client when he takes these monstrous pains tocome to you in privacy!"
Mr. Moses was a good deal reassured by my address. But after all hisrace are a good deal too tenacious to be put off so lightly. Hedemanded to know in what manner I had come there and he did it soboisterously too, and in a fashion so calculated to attract theattention of persons in the street that I judged it wisest to make aclean breast of how matters stood with me.
"Well, Mr. Moses," says I, "if you must know I am that great benefactorof your tribe, Lord Tiverton. My lodgings are about six doors up thestreet, and they have been visited this afternoon by the dirtiest setof minions from Bow Street as ever I saw. And so hard was I put to itto clear them that I took to the housetops, whereupon, seeing yourdormer window open, I gave them the slip by climbing into it, and hereI am. And mark you, my dear Mr. Moses, I would not so honour thedormer windows of all and sundry, no, rabbit me an I would. For I ammighty particular as to whose hands I would accept an obligation from.But if a friend cannot take a benefaction from a friend, then who inall the world is one to take it from? As Flaccus himself has said."
Mr. Moses, you may be sure, was mollified indeed.
"I am sure I beg your lordship's pardon," says he. "A thousand timesmost humbly I am sure I do. Benjamin, put by your blunderbush; andwithdraw the curtains across the window, sirrah, for I have seen thetraps walking up and down the street, and peering here and there andeverywhere this last ten minutes; yes, that I have. Is there anyparticular in which I can serve your lordship?"
"Yes, by thunder, that you can!" says I. "I must get away from hereunknown as quickly as you might count ten. The traps are still aboutin the street you say?"
"See, my lord, there is one going past the window now."
As he spoke I took the precaution of drawing farther back into theshadow of the stairs, for it was even as he said. The next instant Mr.Moses pushed the door to in my face, and as he did so, wheeled round toconfront (as I guessed) two or three of the traps who were coming intothe shop.
"A sheeny, by the Lord!" I heard one say, in a voice so coarse that itset my teeth on edge.
"What is your pleasure, good gentlemans?" says Mr. Moses in a tone ofincredible politeness. "If I, a poor old clo'es-dealer as I am, can beof service to you, I cannot tell you how happy you will make me."
"Well, ole Father Abraham," says the foremost man, "we're on the 'eelsof a hearl, d'ye see. We've been a-chasing of him on the 'ouse-tops,we have so, and he's just a-been a-squeedgin' of himself through yourdormer window, and he's left us in the lurch, d'ye see. He's in yourbed-room, you can wager, and we're a-going up to rout him out."
"Is he so?" says Mr. Moses. "God-a-mercy! is it possible? Benjamin,get your blunderbush, and go and bring him down."
I was so charmed with the comedy that was being played, that at somelittle risk I had opened just a small crevice in the door, in orderthat I might peer through upon the actors. Benjamin, a youth about astall as the counter, but wonderfully keen and sharp of feature, puthimself in possession of an antiquated fire-arm, probably the mostobsolete weapon ever handed down from early times.
"Be damned to Benjamin," says the man from Bow Street, "and be damnedto his blunderbush; we're a-going up to look ourselves."
"And wherefore, gentlemans," says Moses in a tone like silk, it was sosoft, "should Benjamin and his blunderbush be damned? Benjamin is agood boy, and his blunderbush is a good weapon. If this earl is in mychamber, depend upon it one or the other shall bring him down."
"No; we'll go up ourselves, ole Shylock," says the other, "for thishearl is so full of hell, that as likely as not he'd beat Benjamin todeath with his own blunderbush, crikey-likey! he would so."
"Nay, that he would not," says Mr. Moses, "for Benjamin would blow theheart out of him, if he but advanced one step
upon him."
Mr. Moses was evidently a master of fence, and determined as my enemiesmight show themselves, they could make nothing of his subtle, cringingways. They might have excellent reasons for overhauling the house, andgoing upstairs, as indeed they had, yet they had not the wit to enforcethem. For every additional argument he had a new excuse to advance,which at least if it contributed nothing whatever to the case in point,yet served to obscure the issue and to distract and confound thoseconcerned in it. It was truly remarkable how he managed to lure andcheat them with the most specious words that could mean nothingwhatever; and yet at the same time, and therein lay his art, theylistened to him and never once seemed to doubt his sincerity. And itseemed too that this cunning Hebrew had something of a trump card toplay, and this he had reserved for the last.
"An earl did ye say, sirs?" says he, with a vast air of reflection."It could not have been by any chance the Earl of Tiverton?"
"Yes, by thunder," they cried together, "the man himself."
"Well now, I call that whimsical," says he, "seeing as how I see hislordship running at the top of his legs past this window not fiveminutes before you came here."
"You did that," says one of my enemies, "then why in thunder couldn'tyou say so before, instead o' keepin' us argle-hargling here, you pieceo' pork, you hedge-pig!"
With a stream of oaths and vituperation they tumbled out into thestreet, whilst Mr. Moses, with his hands outspread and a cringing,shrugging, smiling yet deprecating aspect, looked the picture of ahighly ingenuous bewilderment. No sooner had they passed away in thehot pursuit of some phantom of myself, than Mr. Moses opened the doorhe had pushed so lately upon me, and informed me that the immediatedanger was overpast. He waved away the thanks I offered him, with agreat deal of politeness, assuring me that he was more than repaid bythe happiness he took for having been of some slight service to so finea specimen of the nobility as myself.
"But if there is any leetle thing in the way of pizness," says he, "Iam the man, your lordship."
"Yes, Mr. Moses, I have been thinking of it," says I, and indeed I had."Now you see I am very tolerably attired." I unbuttoned my riding-coatand threw it open to display as elegant a costume as ever I had fromTracy. "Unhappily I have not a guinea in the world"--let me do Mr.Moses the justice of recording that in the face of this announcement heretained his countenance wonderfully well.--"But I will barterbreeches, coat, waistcoat, ruffles, stockings, buckled shoes, for aplain drab shoddy suit, some common hose, and a pair of hob-nailedboots. By this exchange I think we shall both be gratified; you onyour side by receiving things of about twelve times the value of whatyou give away; and I on mine by obtaining a tolerable disguise to mycondition when I start on my itinerary, for I hardly think I shouldrecognize myself in such a uniform, whilst as for my mamma, dearsainted buckram lady! if at the end of all the journeying that isbefore me I come before the gates of Heaven in it, she will hold abottle of vinegar before her fine-cut nose, and say _c'est un fauxpas!_ and get me denied the _entree_. She will ecod! for I would haveyou to know, my dear Mr. Moses, I am of a devilish stiff-backed family.Look at my grandfather. What a majestical old gentleman it is, even asin his declining years he takes his ease in his pop-shop, withchristening mugs and dirty candlesticks about him on the one hand, andsaving your presence, Mr. Moses, a Jew dealer on the other. But there,my good fellow, we will not talk about it."
Mr. Moses, seeing his advantage in this proposal--indeed he was soexcellent a fellow that had he not done so, I do not doubt he wouldstill have tried to accommodate me--fully entered into this idea, anddid his best to fish this chaste wardrobe out of the varied contents ofhis shop. Indeed such hidden stores did it contain, that after thecontents of divers boxes, and cupboards, and back parlours, andmysterious receptacles had been examined, the necessary articles wereforthcoming, and I was shown into one of the chambers leading from theshop, in order to effect this change in my attire.
It would have made you laugh to see the figure I cut--my snuff-colouredcoat and pantaloons, fitting in most places where they touched, gave mesuch a rustical appearance that an ostler or a tapster became agentleman by the comparison. The hose was rather better, however, butthe boots were not only the thickest and clumsiest as ever I saw, butwere much too big into the bargain. A hat was also found for me thatmatched very well indeed with this startling change in my condition;and a thick, coarse brown cover-all in lieu of the smart riding-coat Ihad set out with. Mr. Moses certainly had as good a bargain as hecould have wished, but certainly not a better one than his meritsdeserved; whilst I had come by the most effectual disguise to mystation, and one well calculated to mislead Sheriff's officers and BowStreet runners, for in all my extended experience of the tribe theyhave ever been clumsy fellows, blind of eye and thick of understanding,incapable of seeing beyond the noses on their faces. With mutualrespect and pleasure, therefore, and many pious hopes for the welfareof my grandfather, whom I was moved to say could not have been left inmore worthy hands, I took my leave of Mr. Moses. And seeing he was aJew, I must say that he was the best conditioned Jew as ever I met.
I took my way very cautiously on leaving the shop of my friend theHebrew. At first I kept well in the shadow of the houses and peeredcarefully about. My enemies, however, appeared to be still away on thefalse scent. The twilight of the autumn afternoon was gathering in asI pursued my way towards little Cynthia. She was to have met me at thegates of Hyde Park nearly an hour ago. As I turned into Piccadillywithout meeting with a sign of my enemies, for no reason whatever I wassuddenly stabbed with the pain of a most bitter speculation. Supposemy little Cynthia was not there to meet me after all! Suppose I hadtarried so long that, fearing I was taken, she had gone from therendezvous! Suppose something unforeseen and mysterious had befallenher, as such accidents occasionally do! In a flash I realized howdear, how inexpressibly dear she was to me. If aught bereft me of hernow, she, the one friend I had, the one creature who believed in me,worthless ruined fellow as I was, the one person who would dare tostand at my side and face the sneers and the scorn of the world, lifewould indeed have no savour left in it. I should neither have theheart nor the desire to continue in that which would become a burdenand a mockery. And in sooth so did this terrible thought take hold ofme, that a kind of fatality came upon me. I began to have a sense offoreboding, as they say one may have in a dream; I felt the blood growslow and thin in my limbs; I was taken with a cold shivering; and myspirit flagged so low that I would have wagered a kingdom at thatmoment that some dire circumstance had happened to my love, and evenmore particularly to me.
In the very height of this fever of insane fears, I came to the end ofPiccadilly, and there in the increasing gloom of the evening were thegates of Hyde Park. And there too, like a sentinel on guard, so proudand strict she was of outline, was my little Cynthia. She stood thereall unconscious of the fact that the simple sight of her was enough initself to reconcile a ruined man to his empty life.