Chapter 19: Tormented Destiny
Nose, throat, and chest still burning from the poisonous smoke, Horus clenched his jaw, grasped his spear, and stood, stance wide.
The smoke began to dissipate.
Staring into the streaked and smudged air, straining to catch a glimpse of who lay in wait within, Horus demanded, "Come forward and face me."
"Guess the game's up." A man's body coalesced within the remnants of smoke. "What a beautiful monster you make. Whatever your form, your fate will be the same."
"It's not Seht," Teo said, lifting unsteadily. "It's one of his followers. I don't know how he concealed himself, but he's a human. I can take him." He stumbled forward.
"Stay back, Teo," Horus insisted.
"Yes, insignificant, listen to your master." The speaker came into view. He was taller than Horus, taller than Teo, trim, muscular. His skin looked deeply burned. His face and body held multiple scars. His eyes, set off by the severe red of his sparse, brittle-looking hair, were glittering black and held both menace and malice. His fingers were curled around a long, curved, polished sword. "My master gives me metal. This was fashioned just for you, Horus." Kafar thrust the sword.
Horus jumped back. "Then he wasted his time. And I'm no one's master." Staring at the stranger, he motioned toward Teo. "It's his choice to be here with me."
Teo clapped his hand around Horus' shoulder, steadying himself. He staggered forward, his arm making halting circles, his hand, clenching his knife, wavering.
Desperate, Horus strained to shout and push Teo back, but terror had closed his throat, locked his legs.
Kafar laughed and turned his black eyes to Teo. "You shouldn't be standing. No matter. I'll use your flesh to demonstrate the ferocity of my skill." He swung his sword.
Teo dropped to a crouch, pitched to the side, and fell.
Horus rushed forward. Fear slackened his grip, and he dropped his spear. It rolled away. Frantic, he ran for it and tripped.
Kafar angled his head toward the wind. "What's that? Yes, a general does return with a trophy. Should I return to my master the slave's entrails or his eyes?"
Had his transformation driven this warrior into madness? Horus scrambled for his spear.
Kafar lunged, his sword piercing Teo's side.
"No! Stop!" Horus sprang forward and tipped down his spear. He jerked it, knocking Kafar's sword up and back. "You didn't come for him."
"True," Kafar said, retreated a few steps, and returned his attention to Horus. "They can wait. You are the trophy offered by a general. I came for your blood, Horus." Sword lifted, he lunged.
Horus spun, the sword just missing his shoulder. Glancing at Teo, wanting to create greater distance between him and the warrior, he retreated a few steps, testing.
Kafar followed.
Horus took several more backward steps and widened his stance.
Kafar looked away, his focus seeming to shift to the wind. "Why not three trophies, you say? Yes, that would be appropriate to my master's orders. Generosity? Yes, of course." His focus returned to Horus. "In my generosity, I'll let you make the choice. The man's entrails and the woman's eyes?"
The warrior intended to kill Nalia, too? Unable to stop himself, Horus glanced back at her, lifting onto her elbows.
Kafar rushed him.
Horus jerked up his spear, deflecting Kafar's sword with its wood. "Who are you?" He blocked yet another attempt. "And who speaks to you? Where's your master?"
Kafar lunged, and his sword sliced into Horus' arm, carving a deep wound.
Horus grimaced against the pain.
"My master awaits my return and what I'll bring him." Kafar swung again.
Flexing his hand, Horus retreated closer to the hut, away from his loved ones. "Why didn't your master come himself? Does he fear me?"
"He fears no one." Kafar struck the end of Horus' spear.
The wood quivered sharply in Horus' hands, the vibration shooting up through his bleeding arm.
Kafar continued, "Nor do I. Why should I? I'm," he said and paused, cocking his head. "One in his command. That's all you need to know." He jabbed his sword toward Horus' chest.
Again Horus spun. Briefly, mind racing, he lowered his spear while the man turned. "Who prevents you from speaking your name? Surely you wish me to know it? Unless you don't want to do this."
Kafar halted mid-swing.
"Let your love for your family give you the courage to walk away from mine."
"My family?" For a moment, inner conflict registered within Kafar's eyes.
Suddenly aware of the sweat covering his body, the hard throbbing in his arm, Horus let the end of his spear dip. "We don't have to do this. Go back to those you love."
"No," Kafar shouted. "My master protects my family till my return in victory."
"Are you certain?"
"I am chosen! I am on mission of my king! I am—ah!" Kafar held his sword high and began whirling it over his head. Roaring, he lunged and lunged.
Horus darted back, recoiling from the violent thrusts. "Then speak your name!"
Fury joined the malice emanating from Kafar. He pressed forward and swung, his sword's tip just missing Horus' abdomen.
"Horus!" Teo pushed back Nalia's hands and sat.
"Stay where you are, Teo!" Horus wrenched his spear's shaft sideways, knocking back Kafar's sword. "He won't even tell me his name. What could he possibly to do me?"
"I am Kafar! Kafar! The name of your destroyer!" He ripped his sword through the air toward Horus' neck.
Horus bent backward, his hand skimming the ground, and stumbled away. "Kafar? That's all? Not 'Kafar the Mighty' or 'Kafar of the—"
Kafar's swing brought his sword almost to Horus' face.
Horus dropped back, bending from the rush of air across his cheek, nearly losing his balance. He scuttled away. "'Of the Sword'? Or even 'Kafar, Servant of Seht'?" He panted, working to remain upright, his arm weakening.
Kafar's roar intensifying, he thrust his sword forcefully toward Horus' ribs.
"Enough!" Horus swung, intercepting the strike.
The sword flew, singing, from Kafar's hand. He scrambled to retrieve it.
Horus wiped his forehead, and droplets of blood fell across his nose. His hand tingled. Teo's wound, too, must be worsening. He had to find a way to—
"Watch out!" Teo called, pointing behind, and Horus spun.
Kafar lunged his sword toward Horus' eye.
"Oh, Mighty Ra!" Horus gave his spear a sharp, sideways lift, and sent the sword spinning away. "I said enough!" He lowered the end of his spear toward Kafar. "Now, stop!"
Kafar's shoulders jerked up, fear mingling with the hatred in his eyes.
Horus opened his hand, blood across its palm. "Leave the sword, Kafar."
"I must meet my destiny." Kafar dropped and rolled to grasp his sword. Fingers wrapped around its hilt, he leapt up. "I will destroy you!" He rushed forward, eyes stretched wide, teeth bared, and crashed into him.
"Rot!" Horus tumbled backward, his fall knocking his spear from his hand.
Kafar kicked the spear away and pressed down.
Horus covered Kafar's hands, tight around the sword's hilt, with his own.
Sword glinting, Kafar inched back Horus' arms.
Metal, cool and smooth, grazed Horus' neck.
"Yes," Kafar said, struggling to force down the blade, sweat beading over his forehead, "I will become a human god."
"A what? No! Stop, Kafar!" Arms shaking, Horus pushed harder against Kafar's hands. "You don't have to do this!"
"Begging for your life, Horus?" Kafar asked, leering.
"No," Horus answered, low. "I'm begging for yours." In Kafar's eyes, for a flash, he saw his own, glowing pale blue.
Kafar's arms trembled. "I was told.... But you're not a monster. You're...."
"Yes, Kafar. See me," Horus pleaded.
Kafar
cocked his head to the wind. "Of course." His gaze hardened. "Who or what you really are changes nothing. It's my destiny to destroy you and take my place surrounded in glory." With renewed fervor, he powered the sword closer to Horus' throat.
"Get off me!" Horus jerked upright, flipping him, and the blade cut across Kafar's thigh.
"Ahh," Kafar groaned, hand to his wound.
Jumping to his feet, Horus flung out his hand, willing his spear to come to him. It smacked against his palm. Closing his fingers around it, he dropped the wooden end onto Kafar's chest, pinning him. "Servant." No, Kafar was a slave. He just didn't realize it. "I'll heal you. Then you may go tell your master I said he must face me himself."
"Heal me?" Kafar stared at his leg's opened flesh. "No, I don't believe you. You're not my master. You're the one I'm destined to destroy."
"Your destiny is what you choose and create." Horus lifted his spear, releasing Kafar.
Kafar twisted, struggling to reach his sword.
With his spear, Horus pushed it farther away. "Seht's using you to test me. This isn't your battle." He held down his hand.
Slapping it away, Kafar rose unsteadily. "I am chosen!"
"For what? To be killed?" Horus took a breath. "You could stay with us. You could choose to learn another way."
Limping, blood trailing down his leg to his ankle, Kafar grabbed his sword and attempted to attack. "I won't renounce my master! I won't forfeit my destiny!" His leg faltered. He landed hard a few steps away and flailed his weapon at Horus' calves.
Shaking his head, Horus stepped back. He angled toward Teo. Though Nalia had recovered enough to tend to him, slowing the flow of blood from his wound, Horus alone could heal the injury Kafar had inflicted. And to heal Teo, Horus would need to be fully focused. Kafar remained determined to kill. Badly injured, did he continue to pose a threat?Kafar's numerous scars indicated he could overcome pain.
Holding his injured arm steady, Horus rolled his shoulder, his arm's cold ache spreading through his body.
Kafar moaned.
Coolly, Horus appraised him. "Hurts, doesn't it?" Gratified by Kafar's suffering, he narrowed his eyes. His brows knitted. Teo had warned against the dangers of finding pleasure in vengeance. And Horus had no time to indulge in thoughts or emotions that didn't bring him closer to his immediate goals. He rubbed his arm, warming it, then knelt and stared into his opponent's eyes. "We have to end this. Let me help you."
Kafar spat.
Frowning, Horus wiped his face. He stood and again stretched down his hand.
Growling, Kafar dug his fingers into Horus' bloodied palm and forearm.
"Your master wants to keep you imprisoned. Join us, Kafar, and know freedom." Horus took a step nearer, pushing away the end of Kafar's sword. "I'm not your enemy." How much blood had Teo already lost? Attempting to recreate the compelling resonance Nalia's voice sometimes achieved, he urged, "See me and understand."
Kafar lowered his sword, haltingly, to his side.
"Yes, Kafar. You can chose a different path."
"A different...yes." Kafar's gaze shifted away, "What?"
"Kafar?" Cautiously, Horus touched the warrior's shoulder. "Who's talking to—"
Kafar's gaze fixed, fierce, to Horus.
Horus took several measured steps back.
"You're a liar. You're trying to trick me."
"I have reasons for wanting you to side with me, yes, but what I offer is genuine. And I'll hold to—"
"No." A deep bellow began in Kafar's chest and lifted to his throat. He quieted, again cocking his head. "Yes, yes, I see now." He angled his sword.
Straining to trace the voice Kafar had heard, Horus pivoted. If he could just—
Viciously, Kafar swung at Horus' knees.
Horus jumped away, his feet landing where his blood had slicked the ground. He slipped and fell onto his back. Grasping his sides, he fought to draw a breath.
Kafar leaned low over him, sweat dripping from his brow onto Horus' face.
Horus cringed, closing his eyes against the salt's sting. The voice—the key. Whose? Seht's? Kafar's arms and hands, his legs, were cold. Cold. Darkness.
"Teo needs you!" Nalia called frantically. "Horus!"
Kafar straightened, nostrils flaring, chest expanding. He lifted his sword over his head. "Yes, my destiny. As you command. Yes!"
"No!" Horus struggled to roll. "Kafar! Listen to me! Hear me! We can help you!"
Kafar plunged the sword.
"Horus—Teo!"
Angling its tip to Kafar's chest, Horus jerked up his spear. "Stop!"
Kafar twisted, putting his weight behind his sword, arcing closer—
Horus thrust.
Kafar's torso wrenched forward, the spear cracking through his ribs and shoulder.
Horus grabbed the sword, flipped it, and drove it up through Kafar's jaw.
Kafar's eyes fixed. His body slumped.
Shaking, Horus withdrew the sword and threw it to the ground.
Teo. Horus shoved away the spear and what it held and ran to him. So much blood. "Flame! Know the voice—" Horus stopped, feeling it, hot, within him. He fell to his knees and thrust his hands over Teo's side. Energy coursed through him, and Teo's side began to glow golden. "More," he murmured, concentrating on slowing his breathing and sending the energy. The glow intensified.
Teo jerked, opening his eyes.
"It's safe," Horus assured and, trembling, sank back. "Nalia, you're okay now?" She nodded, and Horus clapped his hand, radiating warmth, to his wound. Healed, he stared at his own blood over his arm, Kafar's blood over his fingers.
Teo reached out his hand, and Nalia helped him sit.
Horus rubbed his hand vigorously over the grass.
"What is it?" Teo asked.
Antuus sidled near and licked Horus' feet.
Horus pressed his hands to his temples. For a moment, he'd relished Kafar's pain. Had he wanted him to die? Tears welling to his lashes, he turned to Nalia, imploring. "It was defense. I waited as long as I could. I didn't want—"
"To make that choice. I know," Nalia said softly. "I also know Kafar never would have joined us. He never would have believed. You know that, too. His fear was too strong. It fanned his hatred. He would have killed you and us, and from our deaths found satisfaction."
Horus wiped his cheeks. "I didn't want this," he whispered.
"No, nor should you, but there was no other way. You did all you could."
"Did I?" Again Horus rubbed his hand over the grass. "Then shouldn't Kafar still be alive?" He leaned back, breathing quickening. He could heal. Could he restore? He'd vowed to find a way to save Teo and Nalia from death. Could he return Kafar from it? Mouth dry, he looked across at Kafar's body and rose.
"No," Teo said and grabbed Horus' shoulders. "I know what you're thinking. Horus, listen to me. He's dead. There's nothing more you can do."
Horus shrugged free. "I have to try."
"You don't know what the attempt might do to you. Would you sacrifice yourself for him? There's too much at stake, and you know it."
Teo was right. But the knowledge didn't lessen the gnawing ache in Horus' chest, the hollowness in his core. He covered his face. "I loathe this. But what's disturbing is I seem to be good at it."
Nalia took his hands in hers. "It was quick and merciful, unlike how he would've taken you. Teo, help him understand."
Teo was silent. Finally, he said quietly, "I'm sorry I couldn't do this for you. Though it never gets any easier," he added, staring at his knife, "and it shouldn't."
Horus' gaze returned to Kafar's body, and he shuddered. "I can't bear to look at it."
"Then you need to do it," Teo answered.
Nalia shook her head and put her hand to Horus' face.
"You don't understand, Mother. You've never killed."
Horus cringed at the word.
r /> "Look at it, Horus." Teo motioned toward Kafar's body.
Haltingly, Horus went.
Kafar lay on his side, legs over arms, the spear fixed through him.
Horus knelt and withdrew the weapon in one swift motion.
Blood pooled beneath Kafar. Blood covered the spear's point. It shone now not from Teo's polishing with sand but from the sheen of fresh death. Horus put his fingers to it. He felt Kafar's blood on his head, on his soul. He felt covered in Kafar's blood, marked by his death. What was once alive now lay lifeless, and he was the one who'd made it so. He had brought death. He had killed.
Teo spoke over Horus' shoulder, "This is what it is to take life. No matter how just the cause, the result is the same. Kafar has ceased to be, ceased to exist."
Horus stared at the wounds he'd inflicted to Kafar's thigh, chest, head, never to close, scar, and fade to white. His calloused hands, never again to hold a sword. Never again to hold his family. His emotionless eyes, open still, never again to hold hate, fury, desire for destruction. Never to hold contentment, understanding, love.
Kafar would have destroyed him and savored it. He would have taken Nalia, Teo, Antuus, making them suffer to please his master, in Kafar's delusion their deaths a means of keeping his family safe.
Horus had defended himself and protected his family. He knew instinctively what to do to end it quickly, almost painlessly. He saved himself and those he loved. He hadn't been able to save Kafar. Now, Kafar, beyond opportunity of redemption, would never choose friendship, cherish freedom, appreciate the true value of life.
Horus shook his head against the contradiction. He'd preserved life by taking life. He found no glory in it.
If Teo had been the defender, Horus would have wept with happiness for Teo's safe passage through the battle. He would have offered him thanks and honor for protecting them. He would have felt humbled by Teo's willingness to open himself to death to spare them. He would have lifted him on his shoulders in relief to bestow a hero's glory.
But it was Horus who had done this. He had ended a life, and he felt he had been wrong.
"There must have been another way," he finally said.
"He wanted to kill us. He wanted to kill you. If you'd waited even part of a moment more, he would have." Teo knelt beside him. "There was no other way. Kafar made his choice. You did what had to be done. Now you're a victorious warrior and a noble defender. Don't shake your head."
"Darkness twisted his thoughts. It was Darkness speaking to him."
"Does that make him unaccountable?"
"He feared for his family, just like I did for mine."
"He kept them enslaved. Look into my eyes and see I'm speaking the truth. You held your spear and offered another path. Your action was a last resort, not a first response." Teo stood, grasped Horus' hand, and pulled him to his feet. "Now you understand all too well that glory and tragedy exist together in every victory.
"It's the warrior's burden. A false warrior knows only that the foe has been defeated and rejoices blindly. My father taught me a true warrior knows the price of victory but pays it willingly to protect those he loves, those he serves in a just fight.
"That's the honor in being a warrior—the willingness to face the horror of battle, the willingness to fight to defend those who can't defend themselves, the willingness to die to save another. A true warrior knows and fears the price of defeat more than his own death."
Teo gazed into Horus' eyes. "A true warrior weeps at the price of victory and wishes there had been another way. He weeps for those he was unable to keep from harm, those who suffered and died when peace was shattered. He weeps for the loss of his fellow warriors, those who stood their ground and gave their lives in the effort. He weeps because he was unable to spare the living their cause for grief.
"He weeps because he knows victory can be followed either by peace or by more battle, more loss, and because he knows no matter how courageously he fights, how much he sacrifices, he can't control the final outcome, only the hearts of others can decide." Teo drew a breath and put his hands on Horus' shoulders. "Yet he carries on because he knows he must.
"Know this. A true warrior offers not only defense, but hope. He shows, through his willingness to stand against those who wish only destruction, that honor is valued, life is valued, and, yes, Horus, that freedom and love are valued."
Horus bowed his head.
"Darkness must be challenged. You know the consequence if it's not."
With a jolt, Horus knew what it would be, saw it so clearly he shook.
It would be chaos.
Chaos as those who knew only hate brutally ravaged those who stood for light. Those who fled left with nothing, some turning to hate, themselves, in their unspeakable anguish.
It would be destruction.
Destruction on destruction as homes, meeting places, and finally all structures were ripped apart then smashed to dust, as all beauty was hidden away only to be found and broken, as crops and flowers withered and died with nothing sown to take their place, with any reemergence trampled down.
Destruction on destruction as people were struck down and left to decay, the few tombs cast open and brought to ruin, the dead desecrated and no one left with will enough to grieve.
Chaos and destruction, unabated, without sense, without mercy. The torture and decimation of love and compassion, the eradication of family and community, respect reduced to a reaction born only of fear, suffering without hope leading only to death.
It would be the end of possibility and then—
The end of all.
"You saw didn't you? Horus, look at me."
Trembling, Horus gazed again into Teo's eyes.
"Now hear me. Light challenges darkness, and you, Horus, are light. You show us there's another way, and you illuminate the path. You give us hope. In you, we see the possibility of peace without pain, joy without fear, love without force. You affirm light's promise. And you show us it's worth defending."
Jaw jutting, Horus stared at the sky, sorrow swelling inside him. He brushed his cheeks and pressed his laced fingers against his lips. Why must it be this way?
How many had died since Seht murdered Osiris? How many more would die before the war was ended? Teo's words and the images Horus had seen repeated in his mind. Oh, why must it be this way?
He opened his hands and gazed at the droplets on his fingers. He couldn't change what had happened. He could, must, affect what was to come.
Eyes closed, he pushed back his shoulders and drew to his full height. Warrior, healer, falcon, Flame merged, and he found a fathomless stillness within himself. King, he opened his eyes.
Teo's head jerked. He took a breath through parted lips.
Antuus glided close, sniffed Horus, and lay at his feet.
Nalia turned toward Horus and was still. Her eyes searched his. Drawing a breath, she glided closer. Head bowed, she kissed Horus' hand and knelt.
"No," Horus told her softly, bending to caress her face. He helped her to her feet.
Eyes averted, she took Teo's hand in hers, pulling him close.
"Nalia, I'm still your Horus." Hearing a snap of teeth, he returned his gaze to Teo and saw his lips had paled. "Please, don't ever fear me. Be my brother." He offered his hand, holding it steady before Teo's chest.
Teo swallowed hard and accepted.
Horus let the sight of them, his beloved ones, fill his vision as he exhaled, feeling what was to come, and then inhaled, feeling the expanse of the sky within him.
He lifted his gaze to the falcon circling above. "The time has come. I both create and claim my destiny. To build anew what Seht seeks to destroy, I choose to stand. In the hope of reaching others' hearts and minds, I choose to stand. Calling forth the power of the dawn...I choose to stand."
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