He was wearing the same clothes she’d admired on him that morning, only somehow he seemed to be filling them out differently now. The leather seemed to stretch around his biceps and across the hard muscles of his chest and shoulders.
“What the hell are you doing, Sarah?” he demanded, bristling with aggression.
Piper looked to Sarah. “Want me to stay?”
She shook her head. “No, go on. I’ll walk Max out and see you later.”
Turning to Max, she crossed her arms. “What are you doing here?”
“Telling you not to be stupid because you’re mad at me.”
Her brows rose slowly, her temper not so slowly. “Excuse me?” she snapped, and Max closed his eyes.
After a deep breath, his hands came up between them. “You don’t even know this guy. It’s not safe.”
“Your sister does. She’s known him for years. But even if she didn’t, it’s none of your business, Max. So again, what are you doing here? You could have texted. You could have called. You could have had enough respect for me after this morning to let me have one damn day.”
Max blinked, and for a second she wondered if that look was the realization that, yeah, he could have done any of those other things, but until that moment, they hadn’t even crossed his mind.
What the hell?
“It’s time for you to go,” she stated, walking past him and pulling the door closed behind her. Starting down the stairs, she refused to look back. “I have a date.”
“You’re mad at me,” he said, following. But even a few steps behind, she could feel his presence there in the needy prickle of her skin wanting him closer. “What kind of date is it going to be when the only reason you’re on it is because of another guy?”
Sarah pushed out the front door to the street, letting it swing shut without holding it. And then he had her by the arm, his hold gentle but firm. She whirled around to face him.
“What kind of date?” she repeated. “It’s just a first date, Max.” He winced, and she knew he was thinking about their first date and the schedule of intimacy he’d put together for them. Then his eyes hardened and he opened his mouth like he thought he had the right to say anything at all. Screw him. “You know what though, Max? I’m sort of sick of playing by a set of rules designed for someone else’s benefit. I think I’ll just do whatever the hell I want from here on out. And don’t worry. I’ll be sure to let you know how that works for me.”
A guy rounded the corner behind Max, and she recognized him from the pictures Molly had sent to her phone.
She jerked her arm back and glared at Max. “My date’s here.”
Max looked down at the hand he’d been holding her with and then over his shoulder to where Dave Rayes was closing the distance between them. The other man’s eyes shifted between she and Max, studying the exchange.
“Sarah?” he asked, coming up to them with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.
Max’s hand fisted, and her heart skipped. But he kept it down by his side.
“Hi, Dave. Nice to meet you.” Then because Max was just standing there, she turned to him with a firm “Good-bye, Max.”
Dave’s jaw cocked to the side. And when the tension seemed beyond unbearable, his smile spread wide and he held out his hand. “You ready to go, Sarah?”
She was ready to go upstairs and hide, and have a good cry and maybe an entire straight-from-the-pan batch of brownies. But no way was she skipping out on this date because of Max. Even if he was the only reason she’d arranged it.
Taking Dave’s hand, she answered, “Yeah, that sounds great.”
Dave was parked around the corner, and when they got to his car, he held the door open for her before letting himself in. Once the engine started, he turned in his seat, slinging his arm over the back. “So I’m guessing that was the reason you were looking for a few hours of distraction.”
Sarah let out a quiet laugh. “Pretty much.” She met his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he’d be there. If you’d rather not go out—”
Dave laughed and shook his head. “Not a chance. You aren’t the only one in the mood for some company. So what are you thinking? Movie, dinner, drinks? Any combination of the above?”
“Movie? You have one in mind?” she asked, curious what he’d say.
“Truth? I’ve been dying to see the new Marvel flick. Total sucker for the superheroes.” Then he cut her a sidelong look. “But only if you’re not a talker while it rolls. Sorry, but from the first preview to the last credit, I’m all about the show. Talking is for after.”
Sarah laughed and relaxed in her seat. “A movie sounds great. With an option for drinks and discussion to follow.”
He flashed her a crooked grin and pulled out onto the road.
* * *
Four and a half hours later, Dave parked in front of Sarah’s building.
“Thanks so much for tonight,” she said, a lightness in her heart she’d desperately needed. The movie had been a perfect distraction, and the chitchat over drinks after a great way to make a new friend. Which was all either of them was interested in. Dave had ended a relationship a month ago and wasn’t looking for anything more than a break from contemplating his broken heart. Same as her. It had been perfect, right up until Sarah saw the man standing sentinel at her apartment door.
Her breath leaked out as everything she wanted and couldn’t have rushed to the forefront of her mind.
“Umm, is that the same guy from earlier?” Dave asked, cocking a brow at her. “You want me take care of him for you?”
“No, I’ve got this,” she said, turning back to him, an idea coming to her. “But maybe there is one little thing you could do for me.”
Max hadn’t moved from his spot by the wall, but his stare hadn’t left the car once since it pulled up. She was sure he’d catalogued the make and model, along with the plates.
Dave opened her door for her and took her hand to help her out. They walked halfway to her door and stopped, at which point, she turned, grasped him by both sides of his face, and pulled him in for a firm kiss. She could feel his smile against her lips as she counted down from seven, which was the duration he’d suggested in the car. When they broke apart, he cast her a quick wink and walked leisurely back to the driver’s side. She turned and walked up to the entry where Max was standing, his fists balled at his sides, the muscle in his jaw jumping with satisfying regularity.
If he didn’t love her, then what the hell was he doing there, looking like he’d just suffered a fate worse than death?
Unlocking the security door, she stepped inside. “Night, Max.”
* * *
Max stood by the upstairs bay window, every damn muscle in his body on lockdown. Barely able to move his jaw, he demanded through the line, “What else did she say?”
His sister was raking him over the coals after waiting half the morning to call him back. Yeah, it was none of his fucking business how Sarah’s night had been, but that didn’t change the fact that if he didn’t find out in the next five seconds, he was going to lose his shit.
“Your phone is making funny sounds, Max,” Molly answered casually, like she didn’t know that every second she delayed was killing him. “It sounds creaky.”
“Molly.” He was giving her his most intimidating voice. She wasn’t impressed.
After yawning in his ear, she finally relented. “She said it was a second date, Max. Pretty much what she’d expected, whatever that means.”
Max tried to swallow, but his throat was Sahara dry. He knew exactly what that meant, having basically written the book on what Sarah’s second dates should look like. Why the fuck had he done that?
“Max? Yo—ill—re—”
He looked down at his phone and found it broken in his hand. Shit.
By the time Max had gotten it replaced and hi
s backup info transferred, it was afternoon. He was throwing his leg over his bike outside the store, thinking about taking the afternoon to ride, when the message app started blowing up, one alert coming through after another in rapid succession.
A single string of text flashed past, tearing his world down around him.
Get to the hospital.
Chapter 20
CJ was standing at the nurses’ station when Max arrived, out of breath, a cold sweat coating his skin. “What happened?” he asked, the words scraping like gravel through his throat.
Red-rimmed eyes met his, and Max felt the floor drop out from under him. Gripping CJ’s arm, he listened as his partner told him what he knew.
“…changing the oil…chest pain…neighbor found him…paramedics…heart attack…resting now…”
Jesus. Max could barely breathe. Carl was as close to a father as he had, and he wasn’t ready to lose him. He also wasn’t going to intrude when Carl’s flesh-and-blood son was there. So instead of begging for a chance to speak to the man who’d been all the things his own father hadn’t, Max asked if there was anything he could do to help CJ.
“You can go in and talk to him some. He was worried about you.”
Max laughed, but the sound felt rusty leaving his chest. “Thank you, man.”
When Max walked into the room, he couldn’t believe how small Carl looked in his bed. He’d always been such a huge presence that seeing him like this, looking so vulnerable, was tough. The last thing the guy needed was Max breaking down in tears at his bedside though, even if that was what Max felt like doing.
So he kept it simple. “You scared the fuck out of me, Carl.”
The older man looked up, his eyes glassy and swollen, but bright with recognition. Carl waved him closer, and Max pulled a chair beside the bed.
“No worries, kid. I’m not going anywhere. Least not until I see both of my boys settled.”
Max ducked his head, knowing his eyes were dangerously close to watering up.
When he had his shit together, he pushed a grin onto his face. “You got a hell of a wait ahead of you then.”
“Yeah.” Carl nodded solemnly. “CJ said you and Sarah ended things. Too bad. I was thinking there was something special about her.”
Hearing Carl talking about her after his heart attack was like having a dull blade twist through Max’s gut. “She is special. But I think we’d be better as friends. If we can ever get back there.”
“Friends? What the hell is that?” Carl scoffed, then started to wheeze and motioned for the pink plastic cup of water on the bedside tray. Max held the cup so the straw went to the older man’s lips. After a sip, Carl leaned back like that had taken everything he had out of him. “Kid, you’re doing it wrong if she wants to be friends. Talk to CJ. He’ll straighten you out.”
Max coughed into his hand as Carl winked, then closed his eyes, sinking deeper into his pillow. Max watched the rise and fall of his chest, thinking maybe he’d fallen asleep. But then, Carl sort of smiled. “Saw you together once. Didn’t think it was friendship back then, or now.”
Max’s brow furrowed. “What’s that? Back when? At the bachelor party?” Yeah, he hadn’t exactly been thinking about being friends that night.
There was a small shake of Carl’s head, and then his eyes squinted open. “At school. You only had a few weeks left. I was still working up north and had a break, so I pulled into campus thinking I’d catch you after that Safewalk program you started. Grab a burger. They told me you worked the last shift at the library and I headed over, but you were walking with this pretty little brunette, and, kid, it didn’t take more than two seconds to realize what was going on there. You were in deep.”
He hadn’t realized Carl had ever seen them together. Almost no one had.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Max asked.
“Figured you’d tell me when you were ready. Didn’t figure it would take until you met Joan, but you’re a stubborn sort.” At Max’s curious expression, Carl went on. “You told me she reminded you of this girl you’d waited too long with back in school. That you hadn’t even realized what the girl meant to you until it was too late. Sarah. And damn, kid, just the way you’d said her name.”
Max’s chest was tight, that ache he’d finally shoved aside coming back.
“That was then, Carl. Things are different this time.”
“Why, because she loves you? If you ask me, it’s not as different as you think.”
Why did he feel like Carl was ripping him open by talking about this stuff? Why did he want it to be true? When it didn’t matter anymore, because now Max knew better.
“It’s different because when it comes to all this relationship stuff, Sarah’s barely even dipped her toes in the pool. Carl, she had one real boyfriend, and he held her back from everything. When we started dating, she was so excited about finally just being another twentysomething with a patchy dating history. She wasn’t looking for forever with me.” Max closed his eyes. “She wasn’t even looking for more than one night, but I talked her into giving me more. And then more after that, but I only did it because I knew she was leaving. She was going to be gone, so I wouldn’t be able to hold her back.”
“Hold her back from what, Max? A bunch of meaningless garbage most people are only willing to wade through so they can get to the deeper good stuff?”
“From having enough experience to know what she really wants. I don’t want her to settle for me just because I’m the first guy who wasn’t a total fuckwad to her. I don’t want her to realize down the line that she wanted something different, but now she’s stuck with me for her whole life.”
“Her whole life, huh?” Carl asked, a twinkle in his tired eyes. “That what she was asking you for?”
It wasn’t. She’d never once even suggested it. But still—
The door opened behind him, and CJ walked in with the nurse. “Time for some tests, Pops,” CJ said, giving Max’s shoulder a squeeze.
The guy looked like hell, the smile he’d strong-armed onto his face painful to see. Max stood and pulled his partner into a hug. “Get some rest, both of you. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Outside the hospital, Max leaned against his bike and rubbed a hand over his face. He still couldn’t get a full breath, but at least he knew Carl was okay. Good enough to try to help him with his love life. The old softy was in the hospital after a life-threatening scare, and all he wanted to talk about was Sarah.
Because he loved Max enough to know what she meant to him.
Thinking about Carl’s last question, Max glared down at the parking lot.
Sarah hadn’t asked Max for forever. She hadn’t even asked him to love her back. All she’d wanted was a chance to see where they could go.
The only thing that had kept him from taking that chance was the look on her face three months ago when she’d told him how important it was to her that she not make another mistake like Cory. That she take the time to figure out what she really wanted before signing on with anyone else.
Yeah, Sarah thought she was in love with him. Joan had thought it too. But how was Sarah going to feel when she woke up one morning and realized she’d been rash in believing Max was the one when he was the man who’d held her back?
Max knew how that went, and he couldn’t live with seeing the resentment in Sarah’s eyes. He couldn’t let her grow to hate him. And so he’d said no. Because he knew that if he got as much as a taste of what it was like on the other side of those boundaries they’d built, he’d want everything. His ring on her finger. Sarah wearing his last name. All of her days and nights, sweetness and smiles, for as long as they both lived.
* * *
This was a mistake. Sarah knew it, but she couldn’t stop her feet from moving up the walk to Max’s front door. To the house she’d fallen in love with, just like she’d fallen for the m
an who owned it.
He must have seen her coming, because the door opened before she could knock, and then Max was there, his eyes shadowed.
“Sarah,” he said, stepping out to meet her. “Are you okay?”
Mr. Protective. She almost laughed, but she could see the strain in his face. This man didn’t need another thing to worry about. “I’m fine, Max,” she said, holding her hands together so she didn’t press them against his chest. “I heard about Carl. I know he’s in the hospital, and I was worried about you.”
“You and Carl both,” Max replied with a gruff laugh she didn’t quite follow but somehow made her feel better. Then he was rubbing his hand over his face and taking a step back. “You want to come in? Or maybe just sit out here?”
She adjusted the oversize tote on her shoulder. “Have you eaten? I brought a few things, in case you hadn’t. Simple stuff, so don’t get too excited, but if you’re hungry?”
Max’s brows furrowed in thought, and then he laughed again. “I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday. So yeah, now that you mention it, I could probably use some food.”
The fact that he hadn’t noticed broke her heart and made her arms hurt from not wrapping them around him. “Okay then. Let’s get you some dinner.”
Heading into the kitchen, she started unpacking her bag. She had a jar of sauce from the little gourmet place down the street, fresh pasta, a clamshell of spring salad, and a loaf of ciabatta that had still been warm when she took it off the shelf.
“Sit down, and I’ll get this going,” she suggested, but Max was already pulling out the pots and cutting board. They fell into that too-right rhythm together, moving seamlessly around each other as the table was set, the bread sliced, and the pasta drained. She was spooning the spicy, fragrant sauce over a plate of noodles at the stove when Max’s arms came around her. It felt so right, so natural, that for one perfect second she melted into the hold. But then she remembered it was neither of those things, that she was only there because the man she cared for like no other was in pain and she couldn’t stay away.