“Then God created woman to be man's companion, a helper for man. I remember the story: God asked man to name all the animals, which Adam did.
“As written in Genesis:
' . . . none was found to be a mate for man. “So, God made man to sleep and when man
was asleep God took a rib out of man's side and fashioned a woman.'
“When Adam awoke, he was thrilled as a husband on his wedding day. Adam exclaimed,
“'Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh;
she shall be call woman, because
she was taken out of man.' (Gen 2:23)
"Moses wrote in Hebrew, so he would have written 'ish' and
'ishahah'. We speak English, but even the King James English doesn't connect with us and show the joy and the excitement in Adam's voice. I'm sure he said, 'Wow! Look at that. She is beautiful.'
"I can't wait to see your drawings."
MARYANN BLISS spoke first: "Well, I've got the drawing: a star
– all a glitter."
KB chimed in: "So, God made marriage. I'm with Travis. KB continued slowly, “Marriage I considered a woman's and a church thing.
“Of course with fifty percent women and with homos, who would ever think about God designing marriage. If it says so in the Bible and Jesus supported it . . . then God must have designed it.”
Edward added: "Be careful what you read in the Old Testament. Man has come quite a long way since the Old Testament.
“Does anyone believe that the earth was created out of nothing as it says in Genesis?" Edward touched his neck.
Mike vented his belief and the errors of evolution: "Genesis is
often attacked as not being relevant. Yet, Jesus quoted the Book of Genesis which gives me some belief that it happened in a way close to Moses' description. If one were going to describe the current situation of man and women and the promise of a Savior, Genesis and the story of Adam and Eve comes amazingly close."
Edward leaned back, touched his neck and, backed off a little: "I now know that Genesis must be okay. Some of it, but not all of it."
Mike countered: "Some of Genesis can be confusing. The problem with the Bible, God inspired the writing of the Word, as Paul told Timothy (2 Tim 3:16).
“Edward, which parts do you leave out? Who says which parts are inspired by God? Some think they know, but they don't. To me, God inspired all of the Bible."
Anne turned away form KB, and looked toward Mike: "I know I had a hard time beginning the Bible. All of my schooling taught me evolution happened and the Bible had to include evolution, or the Bible erred---all the fossils they found.
“I finally had to accept, by faith, that God wrote the Bible., and evolution did not occur, but what we know as creation took place.
“Many events occurred in the Bible, that only God would know. He must have written the Bible. If He put himself in the writing, I believe that He also involved himself in the copying and the canonizing of the Bible.
“There are many versions in bookstores, but they all mention Jesus Christ: His birth, crucifixion, and ascension. The historian, Josephus, supported these facts. Also, other secular historians at the time supported the facts concerning Jesus of Nazareth."
Carolle smiled and supported Anne: "If you look at the Bible with an all or nothing point of view, then I have to agree with Mike
and Anne . . . . God created woman and marriage." “We all agree?” Mike asked looking toward Rod.
“I guess so, but it sure stands a bunch of the teaching about evolution on it's ear. Is evolution wrong?"
"It's not found in the Bible. Most evolutionists don't believe in
God," Mike said.
Mike refocused the group: "Does the star convey all we are saying? Do you think the star emphasizes women? Didn't God do it?"
Rod inquired, "Well, how do you draw God? Maybe, He did it. Maybe, He did everything, but how do we draw it?"
Maryann had an idea: "Let's take the emphasis off women, and show them both. Him as a handsome man and her as a beautiful woman. He probably created them naked, so we have to turn them away, or have something covering parts of them.
Mike added: “Clothes were added later. After they sinned.” Edward found an opening: "Sinned? You mean eating of the fruit,
what a bunch of story telling."
Mike fixed his gaze on Edward: 'How else would you explain our fallen condition and the promise of a Savior . . . Jesus Christ?"
Edward keeping a stiff upper lip: "We all wear clothes. I certainly wouldn't look good in my all together."
Anne replied: "That's part of the aging process. If you looked like
Adam, a new creation of God, you wouldn't feel so vulnerable.
“Then, if I looked like Eve, I wouldn't look so plump either." Anne knew she looked a little dumpy, even for her age. She also knew why she came to this retreat, and this wasn't it.
Rose gazed at Mike, and she said in support: "Read Genesis 1 to
3. It's all there. Mike's favorite verse . . . one of his favorites . . . Gen 1:1: 'In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.'
“Interesting isn't it? You know . . . earth supports life. No other planet supports life, and something keeps us at the right temperature. I learned that a few degrees either way, and we would burn-up or freeze solid.
“The scientists study, but they don't come up with any answers. Neither evolution, or creation by God can't be proved.”
Mike, running out of time: "A handsome man and a beautiful woman. Who can draw?"
Maryann accepted the challenge. She also offered to be the spokesperson.
ANNE MET Marge afterward. “Your table did it again. I wish we had somebody who can draw.”
“Originally Maryann, she's the one, thought of a star. I don't know where see got that idea. I wonder what they will talk about next. Maybe that we should forgive our mates?”
“I don't forgive Bill enough. If he does something, I hold over him for days”
“Days . . . don' t you mean weeks.”
“Weeks . . . sometime months.”
“I know, if KB does something, I never let it go.”
Anne noticed: “They are getting ready to start again. This is all very nice, but when will they talk about knowing Christ? That' s why I dragged KB here.”
They entered the Rollo Room.
--7--
THE SPEAKER STARTED. "I AM Jack and this is my wife, Blanch, I don't know why they picked us, but anyway . . . I am going to talk on a very important topic --"
Rod thought, yeah.
Anne said so one could hear: “It better be about Jesus.”
"The Difference Between Men and Women . . . and the roles they play in marriage. Women, you need to listen, and men – you need to listen, also.
“Men, you may already know and agree to what I am going to say, but you will probably think that you are the only one, or that you are abnormal.
“Women listen . . . your men are normal, and no matter what you think; your men act as men. You may be thinking . . . that's normal, and it may apply to most men and women, but not me or him. I'm different.”
Rod thought, yeah.
"Listen up folks, you may know people that don't behave and think as I'm going to describe, and there are probably some men and women out there that don't think and behave as I' m about to describe, but most men and women fall into these behavior patterns. It's okay to be men and women, that is how God made you . . . different."
Well it's about time, Rod agreed.
Anne questioned it: “Yeah?” She said this emphatically, but softly.
The women looked at each other like they had never heard this before. Slowly they turned their attention back to the speaker.
"As I describe women in general, you may notice your husband or some of the other men at the table nodding their heads in agreement.
Yeah, Rod agreed.
"According to various scientific studies, such as those ref
erenced in a book by John Nicholson, Men and Women published by Oxford press in 1974, women mix right brain -- emotions, feelings, color etc. and left brain – logic, analysis, math etc. thoughts and ideas easily.
“Men’s brains, cannot do this. Thus the difference. They simply can not do it. Men take one particular task at a time, they deal with it in either the right or left brain, but not both sides simultaneously as women. Men and women have different approaches to each situation
Anne thought, I never considered this. Men are different.
"When applied in marriages, females need to remember that the male easily becomes confused and frustrated when the left brain and the right brain become intertwined. Men cannot deal whit this.”
The wives looked at each other again.
“Women, by not interrupting or changing topics in midstream, may help your conversations with your husbands. Answering his questions, although obvious to you, may also help you in your conversations. He may not say it, and it may not show, but a regrouping occurs in men when topics switch between the right and left brain.
“ Ask them, they will tell you. Frustration sets in.
"For example, a female fully understands, when she says, 'You know those shoes I like, well I saw them at Ross's for $42.00. I also saw a blue sweater for thirty-nine dollars.' Some men would have difficulty knowing what to say next. Not another woman. She would know that no purchase took place.
"The male and the female have different interests. "Women, seek to be part of a relationship. The easiest way to hurt a woman . . .
is to leave her out of the plans and discussions that affect her. Women do not want to hurt relationships . . . any important relationship. Males need to remember, listen men . . . “
“That's you Kenny,” Anne interjected softly.
“. . . that females see love in a relationship when everything is talked over, all sides discussed, and all relationships explored before making a decision.
"Men seek to be accepted and given respect (Eph 5:33). The easiest way to hurt a man, look at him with doubt, or question
him – his ideas, his efforts, his plans, his thoughts, etc.
“A man also becomes hurt when he is compared to other men, groups, so-called experts, etc. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's a man's thing. Like looking at a curvy blond belongs to a man.”
This guy knows what he's talking about, Rod thought. Maybe I
could pick up a few pointers.
"The male and female communicate differently. They even use different definitions. Love for a man means affection. Each expression of affection for a man means reaching out in God's love to his special someone.
“Love for woman means someone loyal, making everything look right. Communication troubles easily develop between men and women . . . married or not. In the workplace, for example, men tend to hire men, and women tend to hire women, so they can communicate with each other more easily.
"Most women would speak about 50,000 words per day compared to men who barely reach 25,000 words each day. Women, therefore, always seek more communication from their men, and men don’t want to say much after their 25,000 words.
“Unfortunately, many men may have spoken their 25,000 words or more while away from their spouse. Some women have been home alone or with children all day, and haven’t been able to say much at all. It is normal that she has a few things to say, and he has said all he is going to say. Thus, the problem of communication in most marriages: she wants more; he wants less.
“Problems develop in any marriage . . . wouldn't you agree?"
Yeah, thought Rod, agreeing with Jack.
Anne didn't say anything.
"The male and female approach situations differently.
"Men desire to rise to the challenge of the occasion, and expect to determine what might need adjustment or repair. He wants to fix everything. Men tend to charge in. Going slow isn't a part of their thought process.
"Women, on the other hand, desire to talk it out, which helps them to put the situation in the past. No fixing sought, or required. Just listening. Men, who make good listeners reign supreme in marriages. Men you need to listen more, and fix less.
"Nowhere are these differences more evident than in the areas of money, children and sex. Ask your spouse which differences apply. Develop a common ground.
“The male and female even see marriage differently. Many times these significant differences remain hidden or overlooked until the honeymoon ends.
"When a couple courts one another, both will agree, 'Anything is okay. All is great, as long as we are together. It’s us against the world, We are in love, and You can’t stop us.'
"For many, the honeymoon changes everything. Before marriage, a future wife seeks a relationship, and some women may agree to almost anything to enter into such a permanent relationship as marriage. Men also agree to anything to have companionship and affection.
“After the marriage a woman no longer struggles to enter into a permanent relationship. She has one; it's hers. She is all set. “Therefore, her interest in boating or sports may end, much to the surprise of her new husband, who still seeks companionship,
acceptance and respect in his marriage, which surely contained boating or sports."
That's why, Rod thought. I thought so, but I didn't know why. Everything changed after the honeymoon. Carolle thinks like a woman; I think like a man. Were different.
“In addition, two more items cause difficulties. One, men charge in. I know I've said this before. Men are like an electrical switch. They become ready for affection instantaneously.
“Women become ready more slowly than men, their like an iron heating, gradually. Men, you can see this when she does her hair, so . . . men go slowly . . . to match her timetable. It won't be the same as yours.
“Two, women tend to become manipulative. I see some men nodding their heads in agreement. Women, you need to stop this conduct if you want your marriage to thrive, and not swoop into darkness. You don't want to become like Rebecca, manipulating Issac.
“She manipulated the situation so that Jacob would receive the blessing, in Gen 24:17. She helped God she thought, and in so doing, a few days – turned into twenty years, She never saw her favorite son, Jacob, again – twenty years later.”
All the women, including Anne, gasped at this portrayal. Rod agreed, and thought, nah . . . Carolle wouldn't be
manipulative, or would she. “God has a plan.
“God said of marriage the man shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. How does He expect mankind to do
this?"
Yeah, I want to find out, Rod thought.
"Good marriages include listening-time, going slow, and adjusting conversations to accept these significant differences. Guys take time to listen, and go slow. Ladies, when talking to your
husbands, switch slowly between right brain and left brain thoughts."
"A marriage gets better when the spouses heartily follow God's plan for husbands and wives.”
God has a plan? Rod thought to himself.
"God does not require the knowledge of rocket science to understand a reading in Ephesians:
“'Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head
of the Church; and He is the Savior of the body.' (Eph 5:22-23)
"God uses a military term to establish order, not to eliminate a woman’s initiative, contributions or spunk. Continuing in Ephesians, Paul says:
“'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the Word.' (Eph 5:25-26)
"Naturally, various behaviors fall way outside God’s definition of love. The world and Satan have changed God's definition of love to mean something not intended or not Biblical. God defines love
in 1 Corinthians 13. Reading a part:
“'Love is patie
nt (suffers long), love is kind; love does not envy; love
does not parade itself, is not puffed up (blows it's horn); does not behave
rudely, does not seek it's own (selfishness),
is not provoked, thinks no evil . . .' (1 Cor 13:4-5)
"God makes it easy! Two rules: one for the husband, one for the wife. The husband loves, and the wife submits (Eph 5:22-26).
“Notice, when reading these words of life, these instructions for husbands and wives come without conditions. There is no 'if' anywhere.
“Both spouses contribute so that their marriage can be all God had originally designed. Each spouse has a part to do. Each spouse commits themselves to follow God’s plan, without conditions, such as if he or she will, then I will.
“God’s rules do the impossible; they bring bliss and companionship to the marriage of a man and woman.”
I see . . . that applies to Carolle . . . and me too, Rod thought. Nah. Rod wasn't convinced.
"For a marriage to work like a romantic slow-dance, each spouse applies the words of God’s plan to their marriage. Looking over the dance floor of life, fantastic marriages: flow, bend and twirl from one end of the floor to the other, in a oneness that catches everyone's attention.