“Future Business Leaders of America. I should go…”
I step backward, too. I am definitely not a future business leader, unless you count Dad’s shit as a business. Something tells me she wouldn’t, and thinking about hooking up with this girl is a really stupid thing for me to do. “Yeah, you probably should.”
“Ry! Come here for a second.” At the sound of Luke’s voice, I whip my head toward the porch.
“Hold up.” I should have just told her bye. We both know she should leave, but she nods and I run over to my brother. “What’s up?”
“Who is that?”
“Some girl I met. She’s a little young for ya, don’t you think?” Though if they were closer in age, I could see Luke with someone like her. He’s a future business leader of America.
“Funny.” He groans. “Listen, be careful. I don’t know who she is, but she doesn’t look like the kind of girl you’d usually hang out with. I don’t want you—”
“Fuck you, Luke.” Dude, I can’t believe a few minutes ago I'd considered apologizing to him. He takes one look at Virginia and decides she’s too good for me.
Not that I don’t agree with him.
And not that I want her either, but still.
“Ry, that’s not—” He grabs my arm but I jerk it away, and then toss the twenty back at him.
“Whatever.”
Nothing is going through my head as I take the stairs down. I have no plan, but still, when I get back to Virginia, I step close. Closer than I have been yet. Glancing over her shoulder, I catch Luke’s eyes before paying attention to her again. I swear she smells like the ocean... like freedom.
Putting my hand flat on the car, I lean in. “Go to a party with me tonight.”
“I don’t go to parties,” she stutters.
“Go with me anyway.” Ocean hits me again.
She sighs and I know I have her. I don’t move back as I wait for the yes, hoping to feel her breath on my neck, but it’s Virginia who pulls away from me. I don’t feel her breath, her answer vibrating through me instead.
“No.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
~Virginia~
“You really like saying that word to me.” Pierced-lip boy cocks his head slightly. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”
There are certain rules I’ve given myself. Ever since I can remember, rules have been important to me. They’re important to Dad. Even though there were times Mom’s lack of rules were fun, most of the time they just made me flustered, frantic, as though the control I hold so tightly in my fingertips is getting pried away.
Dad used to say that Mom’s carefree ways were what first drew him to her. That was before any of the other Charitys showed up, when her lack of control had been more about fun. Or at least that’s what everyone thought. Who really knows?
When I first started to discover what was going on around me, when I first decided what I wanted for my life, I put my rules into place. I knew that was the only way not to let Mom’s curse claim me.
I do homework when it’s assigned because there’s no point in waiting. You never know when something will come up, and as dorky as it sounds, I really would much rather be safe than sorry.
I keep myself busy with school activities, because the more responsibility I have, the less space there is for distraction.
I always have a plan.
I avoid things that are creative, because artists and writers are flighty. They’re selfish. Grandma was. In many ways, Mom is too.
I don’t let boys distract me. They make you forget about your plan, and for me, that isn’t an option.
Pierced-lip boy’s eyes dart to the side slightly. I look over to see him watching the other guy as he walks to his car. Their eyes don’t leave each other as he gets in, pulls forward, and then stops.
“We’re a little busy here,” he says, and for a second, I wonder about his name. He was called Ry…and I don’t need to know more than that. It’s not like I’ll see him again.
“Remember what I said. I’m serious, bro.”
The second he pulls away, pierced-lip boy steps backward. Wait. “Why’d you pull away?”
He cocks a brow. “You want me close?”
A stupid rush of heat pools in my belly. No, no, no. “Yeah right. It’s just, you didn’t get closer until he came out, and then the second he left…” Oh. “You were only acting like that to get under his skin! Why?” I’m surprised I said it, and annoyed I know it’s true. On reflex, my hand shoots out and I smack his arm.
“Hey!” Pierced-lip boy holds up his hands. “No kicking my ass. Damn, you’re feisty. I didn’t ask you to go because of my brother, I asked you because you’re hot.”
My eyes stretch wide at that no matter how hard I try to fight it. It’s not that I think I’m ugly, I don’t. But I’ve also never had a boy come right out and tell me I’m hot. It’s not logical, but I almost think boys at my school don’t talk like that. In reality, they don’t talk to me that way because they see me as too serious for it.
When I realize my lips are pulling into a smile, I bite down on my cheeks. He must notice, because he gets this look on his face. I’ve seen it in movies a million times—the cocky half grin, the intense eyes that feel like fingers brushing across your skin. Whoa, holy crap. Staring at his eyes for the first time in daylight, I can see they’re totally different colors. One is blue, and the other is half-blue and half-brown. My resistance starts to weaken. His eyes look deep, as though there are more layers than he’s showing.
“Go to the party with me, Virginia.”
It’s the name that pulls me out of his spell. Every time he says my name, he uses Virginia, even though I told him I go by Lulu. “No, thanks. I have a plan, and getting drunk at some stupid party isn’t part of it.”
I need to go before he weakens my defenses even more. He jerks back when I sit down and pull the door closed. Once it shuts, I turn on the ignition, ready to leave.
“Fine. Whatever. Have a good life, future business leader of America.”
My hands fall away from the steering wheel, and before I know what I’m doing, I rip a piece of paper from the notebook on my passenger seat and write my phone number down.
He pauses when I hold the paper out. Looks down at it and then back at me. “I don’t need this. I’m not trying to be a dick, but I’m not really the kind of guy who’s going to call and spend hours talking to you on the phone every night. I’m not going to be your boyfriend. Find someone else for that.”
Ugh. Of course he would think that’s why I’m giving it to him. Actually, my only thought was that refusing to go to a party with some guy, only to hear about him killing himself driving drunk or worse, isn’t in my plan.
I shove it into his hand. “And I’m not the kind of girl who sits around waiting to talk to a guy on the phone all night, either. I have much more important things going on than that. You’re going to a party. I’m assuming you’ll be drunk. If you need…well, you saved my life once, so I guess I owe it to you to return the favor. If you need a ride, call. Please. If not, feel free to lose it.”
This time I don’t hold myself back from driving away. When I get to the end of his driveway, my eyes dance toward the rearview mirror. He’s standing where I left him, watching my car as I go.
Shaking all thoughts of boys with intense, multi-colored eyes, bad attitudes and pierced lips from my brain, I drive home.
Three hours later, I sit in the middle of my bed, with an open document in front of me. I haven’t written a word of my speech. I tried going over the agenda for the next student council meeting as well, but the words go in, tumble around and then escape before I can process them.
I wonder what the guy in the car was so serious about—his brother? Definitely because they looked the same, minus the piercings. Same attitude. Same hair color. Same build.
I wonder why pierced-lip boy went rigid when his brother spoke.
I wonder why I can’t stop thinking about him.
&n
bsp; Just stop, I tell myself. I am in control of what I feel. I always will be. Refusing to sit here doing nothing a second longer, my fingers move across the keyboard and I make myself get to work.
CHAPTER EIGHT
~Ryder~
We’re partying at Tanner’s house tonight. He’s the only one of us with money. His house is probably bigger than mine, Drea, Shane and Cody’s combined. The only reason Tanner even goes to school with us is because he got kicked out of his private school.
His parents decided they didn’t want him to embarrass them around their country club friends anymore, so they sent him to school in the ghetto. Tanner’s parents are out of town. It wouldn’t surprise me if they have the cops do drive-bys while they’re gone, but Tanner doesn’t seem to give a fuck, so I don’t either.
“You’re up, Ryder.” Shane leans back in his chair as I sit forward. After drawing a card, I put my winning hand on the table and grin.
“Shit. I’m not playing this with you anymore. You always kick everyone’s ass.” Shane groans and pushes to his feet. “Let’s go out back.”
The other people at the table, most of whom we don’t know, stay there. Shane and I make our way to the backyard. People are everywhere, most of them congregating by the two kegs on either end of the lawn.
Shane walks around to the side of the house and unlatches the gate. Most people wouldn’t know to come back here, except our friends. There’s a small table with two chairs. Shane takes one of them, but I lean against the side of the house.
He pulls his pipe out of his pocket, packs it, and takes a hit. “How’s shit with Luke? He still being a dick?”
Yeah. Just what I want to talk about tonight. “Always.” After taking the pipe from him, I put it to my lips and inhale.
“Sucks.”
“What about you?”
“I think my mom’s usin’ again. Can’t tell for sure, though.”
Shit. It makes me realize things with Luke could be a whole lot worse. Pot’s one thing, but when his mom is using, she doesn’t screw around. She does shit that’s almost gotten her killed.
I lean my head back and look up, thinking it’s definitely a good idea Virginia didn’t come with me tonight. Shane wouldn’t have talked about his mom around her, and he shouldn’t have to worry about what he says. Who the hell knows what she would do if she heard something like that? I’m sure stressing about druggie parents isn’t a part of her world. Or watching people get high.
A slow ache starts in my gut and moves up toward my chest. I’m suddenly pissed that she lives this perfect existence where she doesn’t worry about stuff like this. Where she’s so damn good that she has a plan, and she’s too perfect to party. Where she’ll get to grow up and be the next fucking future business leader of America and others like Shane and me won’t have a chance.
“Let me know if you need anything. You know Luke won’t care if you chill with us.” My brother gives me shit about my friends, but he’s pretty cool about helping if someone needs it. Shane has stayed with us off and on. We all know his mom isn’t going to report him missing if he doesn’t come home. It probably makes it easier on her when he’s gone.
“Thanks, man.” He holds out his hand and we bump fists.
“Thanks for ditching us in there! We went out to see if you guys left without telling us, but Shane’s car is still here.” Drea playfully elbows me in the stomach. “Assholes.”
“You were with Tanner,” I throw back at her. “It’s his house. We figured you’d be okay with him and Cody.”
Cody takes the seat across from Shane, pushing his dyed blond hair from his eyes. Tanner sits on his lap and says, “There’s a bunch of idiots in there. Even I don’t want to be around them.”
“Want me to kick them out for you, baby?” Cody nuzzles Tanner’s neck.
“Nope. Maybe they’ll break something and I’ll piss off my parents.”
Cody laughs and kisses Tanner’s neck again. He smiles when Tanner whispers something in his ear.
It’s so strange watching the two of them together. Not because they’re both guys, none of us give a shit about that, but because they obviously love each other and don’t mind showing it. Cody was at our school before Tanner, but he never really hung out with us. When Tanner came, he sort of just fit right in with us from his first day. He wasn’t there a month before he brought Cody out with us one night.
He said if we had a problem with it, we better say so. He was obviously testing us, but like I said, we’ve never given a shit who he was into. Cody became part of our group from that day on. If I’m being honest, we don’t really know a lot about Cody other than the fact that he’s Tanner’s. It’s been almost four years and they’re still together.
None of us have parents who stay together like that. Well, except for Tanner, but they think they’re better than us so they don’t count. Drea’s parents are off one week, on the next. It’s really her stepdad, but he’s been around forever. He comes and goes whenever the hell he wants, though. Shane doesn’t know who his dad is, and my mom hasn’t been around since I was a kid.
Luke never brings girls home. He’s like Virginia; he has a plan, and girls aren’t a part of it.
Tanner and Cody are the only happy couple I’ve ever known.
A floodlight on the side of the house shines down on us. Drea looks around. “Nice. You guys are gentlemen. No one is going to give me a seat?”
Tanner and Cody start whistling, and looking anywhere except at Drea. Shane taps his lap. “Sit down.”
“Ha, ha.” Drea rolls her eyes and punches his arm. Shane frowns, and then rubs it as she leans against the house next to me. The way she hit him makes me think about Virginia and the little slap she gave me on my arm earlier. Drea doesn’t slap, she punches. Another difference between the rich girl and us.
She did give me her number, though. She doesn’t know me. She definitely doesn’t seem like the kind of girl who gives her phone number to just anyone. Why would she be so worried about a guy like me getting home safe? I’ve never needed anyone to worry about me before, not that I do now, but I have to admit it was pretty cool of her.
You saved my life once so I guess I owe it to you to return the favor.
Oh yeah, that’s what it is. She thinks she owes me. I get that. Debts can bury you, no matter what kind they are. It’s not that she gives a shit about me; she thinks she owes me.
“Ry, you want a hit?” Drea asks, and I realize Shane pulled out his pipe again.
“Nah, I’m cool.” Pushing my hands into my pockets, I look up at the dark sky again.
If you need a ride, call. Please.
What the hell had the “please” been about? If it’s because she owes me, why would it be so important that I call? That’s what I don’t get. My friends kick ass. I’m glad to have them, and I know they’d do anything for me, but they’ve never told me to call them if I’ll be drinking at a party they’re not at.
They finish smoking and then start talking about school and Tanner’s parents. I’m half listening, half not. Then I’m trying to figure out why I’m not listening to them more instead of trying to dissect my conversation with the rich girl that I’ll never see again.
The girl with the plan, who walked out onto a collapsing dock late at night… No matter how I look at it, nothing fits when it comes to her.
A warm body pulls up against my side. “Wanna fool around?” Drea asks.
I shake my head before I realize what I’m doing. There are zero reasons for me not to want to screw around with Drea. Unattached sex with a girl who wants nothing more than sex and friendship from me? I’ve always signed my name on that dotted line.
“Oh.” Drea puts space between us.
My eyes shoot to Shane, who’s looking at me like I just broke her heart and he’s her protective Dad with a shotgun behind his back.
“I’m not really feelin’ so hot,” I say, lamely.
“He’s just not man enough to handle you.” Shane winks
at her. This is what we do. We always have Drea’s back.
Drea looks a little unsure of herself for a second, but then recovers quickly. “Eh, been thinking about trading him in for another plaything anyway. Thanks, Shane.”
He gives her a simple nod. I nudge Drea’s side, and she looks at me and smiles. A breath I didn’t realize I held pushes from my lungs. I need to know we’re okay. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and kiss her forehead. “You know I love you, Dre.”
Until Dad comes back, these guys are the only people in my life who I know will always be there. No matter what Luke says, I know the second he’s free of me, he’ll be gone.
CHAPTER NINE
~Virginia~
There was once a girl named Control. There was nothing she needed more than her name. It was everything to her. It defined her.
~*~
My dad’s a lawyer. When he and Mom were together, he rarely went out of town on business. He tried to stay home as much as possible. Now that I’m older, he leaves from time to time for a conference or something like that. It’s not like he worries that he can’t trust me.
I remember one time, he had a conference he couldn’t get out of. He sat Mom and I down at the dining room table to talk about it. That’s what Dad does—he talks. Mom creates when she’s having a hard time—books or art, it doesn’t matter. Dad talks. I look for distractions.
So, Dad sat us down to talk. It really wasn’t a big deal, he said. It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust Mom with me. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t been doing well for a while, but we all knew there was a little worry when it came to him being gone for more than a workday.
One of her personalities, Samantha, had once thrown a party when Dad was at work. Not the kind of party most parents go to, either. Once Robin had been afraid someone would break in, and I had to hide with her in the closet until Dad got home.