A familiar face distracts me from my deep thoughts; the handsome proud Sprite that visited me last night is waiting outside the lecture theatre. I sigh, knowing that he is waiting for me. His eyes are following me, but I can't look at him. When Amy and I pass by he doesn't take his eyes off me, but I don't respond, pretending that he is not there. In my mind, I am doing everything I can to show that I am not aware of his presence. His companion has long white shiny hair and is a few inches shorter than the Sprite that I know. My wound is aching and I realise that I forgot to take my medication this morning.
I try to concentrate on the subject of the American dream and Hollywood films, but it is difficult not to stare at the striking looking men in the corner. The fascination takes over my entire mind. I am supposed to make notes, but I am drawing circles on my notepad thinking about the Sprites and how I ended up seeing what's forbidden. After the lecture, I phone Mum back; I have four missed calls from her. It takes me a few minutes to assure her that I am fine. She only just woke up after a long shift in the hospital. George called again, but I ignore his call.
‘How is your mum?’ asks Amy after I get off the phone.
‘She is all right, still worrying about me,’ I reply, rolling my eyes. We are standing outside the lecture theatre. Our timetable is showing that we have an hour break before the next class.
‘Is there a café on campus?’ I ask Amy.
‘Yes, the building across the road. Do you want to go there?’
‘Yes, I would like to get some lunch,’ I answer, looking nervously around but I don't spot anything unusual.
‘Cool, I’m just going to pop into the toilet to fix my hair,’ she says and vanishes quickly. Despite Amy’s character, I feel better with her company today; all the strange creatures that I have been seeing make me feel more and more uncomfortable.
The café is situated on the first floor opposite the Faraday building. After ten minutes in the queue, we manage to get a table. The Sprite that I met last night isn't anywhere near me and I am hoping that he won't appear soon. Amy orders a sandwich for lunch and I get tomato pasta. We eat slowly while Amy is chatting about the next party that she wants to take me to. I am miles away; strangely I can't take my mind off the handsome creature that I met. He was right; throughout history, fairies had so many different names. Despite feeling overwhelmed by my new visitor, I am willing to get to know him. My subconscious keeps telling that I can’t ignore the instant connection between us.
The hour passes quickly and soon we have to make our way to the next lecture. Amy seems to know where she is going. When I walk into the building, I notice the Sprite that I know; he is standing outside with few more people of peace, absorbed in discussion with a few women Sprites. I don't have a chance to take a closer look at them as Amy drags me inside.
I can't concentrate on the new lectures; the subject of war isn't my favourite but the module is compulsory. Finally, after an hour I realise that the day’s classes are over. Amy vanishes to get a drink while I decide to wait for her outside. I have an opportunity to take a closer look at my Sprite, who is talking to a female fairy. She is stunning with the long shiny blonde hair that I have always desired and a perfectly shaped body. I stare at him for a long while until he turns his eyes on mine, feeling my gaze on him. I look away quickly, blushing with embarrassment. After a few minutes, I dare to stare at him again; he whispers something in her ear, and she kisses him gently on the cheek. I turn around almost instantly avoiding the intimate moment between them. My phone rings while I am trying to adjust to what I just witnessed, I look at the screen and I instantly regret that I have my mobile on me. It is George and this is the third phone call today. I answer, exhaling sharply.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi Ania, how are you?’ he begins in his usual flirty tone.
‘Good.’
‘I know I wasn’t there when you needed me the most, but I have to see you,’ he continues in a sweeter tone, as the muscles in my stomach clench uncomfortably.
George would never say that he wanted to see me, not unless he wants something from me. I raise my eyebrows with surprise, trying to figure out if he is serious.
‘What do you want?’ I ask harshly, still remembering the scene in London where he announced that it would be better if we stop seeing each other, as he needed to concentrate on his career. George is studying drama in London and always dreamt of becoming a film star. He took parts in a few unknown films, but this new role was the opportunity that he had been waiting for. He was another reason why I chose Swansea to move to; I believed that if I were far away from him, I would finally meet someone who would look after me.
‘Darling, I just heard what happened in Swansea and I have to apologise that I wasn't around.’
‘You were clear when I was leaving that you wouldn’t have time,’ I say resentfully.
‘I don't know what I was thinking back then. I miss you and I would like to come and see you.’
I look at my phone, wondering if I am really talking to my ex who had never shown any kind of feelings toward me. I had pictured this scene in my mind, knowing what I would say to him if he did call.
‘I will text you my address. Let me know when you want to come over.’
I almost bite my tongue. The words came out before I even considered it. I wanted to tell him not to call me ever again, but my heart was unable to cope, so instead I invited him over. I stare at my phone, wondering at what I had just done. My mother has never met him; we had fun together and had never admitted to any kind of feelings for each other. I fell for his charm and pride, but every time I met him, I always ended up crying.
An hour later at home Amy disappears in her room while I sit down downstairs on the sofa and begin to wonder if I will ever be able to say no to George. I remember Gosia's words. The only way to get rid of George would be to find another man. The problem is that I’ve never had another man, never felt attracted to anyone else apart from arrogant George. The strong electric current that passed through my body when the Sprite touched me brought new and undiscovered emotions. I can no longer lie to myself; the man who isn't even a human has done something to me and I can't get him out of my head. The strong pulsing pain alerts me that I have to take my medication
5
In the evening, all of us gather in the living room; the new housemate Michael is kind enough to cook and the rest of us relax in front of the TV. We have some wine to accompany our outstanding meal. Around midnight, I leave to get to bed. I have my check-up in the hospital in the morning and I can't show up there looking tired. Despite going to bed at a reasonable time, I am awakened once again in the early hours in the morning; it's after 4 am when I look at my phone. When I switch on the light on my bedside table, I know that he is in my room.
‘Why do you have to do this?’ I ask, rubbing my eyes. He is standing in the far corner of the room looking his best as usual. He is wearing a black shirt and his deep-blue eyes are focused on me.
‘Do what?’
‘Come in here unexpectedly and wake me up in the middle of the night!’ I snap, feeling uneasy and annoyed. I hate waking up at an unreasonable time; besides, no one should see me half-asleep and half-naked. He smiles, stepping closer, and I flush.
‘I apologise, but I am curious,’ he answers, staring at me with his blue eyes and noticing my ruby cheeks. The strong electric current runs through my body. My heart is pounding and I exhale sharply trying to gain control ‘I was never able to talk to you, but now you can see me, I feel that I need to get to know you, as I am supposed to protect your soul.’
‘What does that mean, protecting my soul?’ I manage to ask, my tone shrill.
‘It’s complicated. As far as I can tell, women like to feel protected,’ his eyes narrow as if he is sure that he is right. I decide to ignore the last sentence and focus on the window so that I can control my breathing.
‘What about your name? I suppose that’s not too complicated to tell me.’ I like my
sarcasm today, feeling that he can't intimidate me. He smiles once again.
‘My name is Gabriel and you don’t need to introduce yourself, I have been around you for a while.’
I open my mouth with amazement, trying to adjust to what he had just said. His eyes are following my every move, Gabriel is calm and reserved; his posture shows confidence. He is named after one of the most famous angels in the Bible.
‘I don’t really know what to ask you. Your answers are confusing me even more.’ I mutter to myself.
‘It’s a lot to take in right now,’ he responds.
‘So why are you following us?’ This is the only rational question that comes to my mind.
‘This is our purpose in life – to make sure you follow the right path or try to influence you to make the right decisions.’
‘Make the right decisions? So you are like a guardian angel?’ I know my questions are ridiculous, but whatever he is saying doesn't make much sense either.
‘If it would be easier for you to understand, then you can say that. I am flattered to be called an angel,’ his voice is more relaxed but he doesn't take his eyes off mine, stroking his smoky black hair again. My breathing quickens when he does that.
‘What about the woman that I saw you with today? Is she a Sprite as well?’ I try to sound as if I don't care but my tone is too high again. His blue eyes crinkle in the corners and his posture tenses.
‘She is the one chosen for me.’
I stare at Gabriel, pretending that what he said didn’t affect me but the jolts of jealousy shoots right through me. I shouldn’t care that he is involved with another Sprite; he is way out of my league. I am trying not to blush, but it is inevitable.
It is the second time that we met and spoke and I never felt this kind of connection to any other man, not even George. The new emotions are uncontrolled and ruthless.
Gabriel is perfect but he isn’t a human, and I can't be so foolish to fall for him just because he is a Sprite. He is staring at me in silence and the corner of his lips tip in a smile.
I clear my throat.
‘So are you very similar to us?’ I ask, trying not to sound overly interested and intent on changing the subject.
‘Unfortunately, we are bound by our duties; we have to marry the person that our parents choose for us. It’s more of an arrangement, Rose is destined for me.’ His tone is formal.
‘Rose?’
‘My fiancée, the Sprite that you saw me with today,’ he explains.
‘This applies to every Sprite?’ I ask, confused. He still isn’t looking at me; his face stares towards the shadow of the curtain if his mind is elsewhere.
‘Yes, our lives aren’t as exciting as humans’. We are here to mix with only our own kind and we cannot choose the person that we want to spend our life with. The arrangement cannot be broken even if I would like it to be broken,’ he explains, stepping closer to me.
He is distracting me; I feel the tingle that starts in my toes working its way to my body.
‘What if you won’t follow the arrangement? Surely someone has had to fight for the person that he or she loved?’
I have to shut up; this isn’t relevant. I glare at him wondering if I am crossing the line here asking about his personal life.
‘There have been situations in the past. All Sprites that don't follow the arrangements are dead,’ he finishes, almost whispering ‘Years ago there was a Sprite that used her power; she killed an infant and since then it’s forbidden to reveal ourselves to humans.’
The atmosphere is the room shifts when Gabriel starts talking about the harsh rules. Sprites don't have love in their marriages, but there is so many questions that I have to ask.
‘So no one ever complained?’ I ask with disbelief. His expression shifts and he stares at me blankly as if he doesn't understand my question.
‘We are not humans. We have been created to help people to make the right decisions; the enjoyment of our lives isn’t a priority for us. I would love to talk about changelings but I don’t think the time is suitable,’ He concludes by moving towards my book collection; I am not sure if he is even trying to make me understand him and his background; I have never heard of changelings. I get up and put my pink robe on quickly as I wonder if he would be looking at me, but when I turn around he is occupied looking at books.
‘I have to go to the bathroom,’ I say, breaking the awkward silence.
‘I am just about to leave anyway; I am risking my and your life by talking to you,’ he replies ‘I will be back to explain this further in a few days.’
I nod and then he is gone. I exhale with disappointment. He never stays for more than half an hour. The ‘forbidden’, well that’s just convenient, but he said that there was a Sprite that murdered a human so is this means that another human was able to see her as well?
I toss and turn for the rest of the night thinking about our short conversation, secretly wondering if Gabriel is glad that I’ve become the one that is able to notice him. I try to convince myself that my emotions are not real, but my heart contradicts everything that my mind is telling me. My whole body reacts when he moves or looks at me, but I am struggling to read if I have any effect on him. He is breaking the rules for me.
By the end of November it rains constantly. I struggle to get out of bed in the mornings. The temperature drops significantly. My visit to the hospital went well despite the lack of sleep the night before; the doctor informs me that the wound is healing nicely. I keep quiet about my mysterious experiences with creatures from fairy tales.
After a few weeks since the check up, I am able to take off the bandage; the nasty scar is visible and it will constantly remind me what had happened in Swansea for years to come. Despite that, I feel that this period in my life is finally over. My odd ‘disability’ is still present.
Gabriel doesn’t visit me as he promised, but he keeps an eye on me, however when I decide to go to my room after a large meal downstairs he is already there waiting for me. I stand in the door and my jaw hangs open. It’s been weeks since we last spoke and now he is in my room again.
‘Evening’ he says folding his arms together leaning on the window. My heart bit speeds up as if the awareness of him standing in my room is driving me mad.
‘Hi’ I squeak and close the door behind me ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I promised that I would come back’ he responds gazing me at me intensely ‘I have to apologise that I didn’t come back earlier, I had to deal with other issues.’
‘Am I going to find out more about you today?’ I ask, walking across my own bedroom. I am angry that he didn’t come back when he was supposed to. I was going to study today but now this is not going to happen. I toss my red hair and sit down on my bed pretending that his presence doesn’t have any effect on me. I shouldn’t be so direct but I am curious to know more about him.
‘Yes, I came back to explain more about our world.’
‘Great.’
He doesn’t take his blue eyes off me, and then he shifts his position by the window and walks up to me.
‘Do you mind if I sit down?’
The smell of spearmint, cypress wood and bergamot hits me again and my mind starts to spin. I stare at him bewildered, he smiles.
‘Yes, sure,’ I murmur, feeling like my face is heating up.
Why do I always have to behave like a total idiot? He is so much closer than I ever anticipated the electric current shoots through my body; the air shifts. I’ve got to pull myself together.
‘Well I thought that it would be good to start from the basics, although I already explained that humans aren’t able to see us. If I reveal to the Council that there is a human that knows about us, you would be probably dead already.’
I don’t know what is going on with me, but my heart is pounding, his eyes are on me and he expected me to ask him a question but I don’t think I can talk right now.
‘The Council detests emotions of love. We have been
brought up to avoid depending on that emotion; that’s why you are vulnerable. I can influence you but you can change me as well.’
‘How?’ I ask finally finding my voice.
‘I can start experiencing forbidden emotions, and if they found out about me then they would kill me. I would probably dishonour my family,’ he adds shifting his weight. He is too close and I can’t think straight.
‘Tell me more about your family?’
I am surprised with myself for being so forward with him. He raises his left eyebrow and smiles.
‘I do like to be around humans, my mother is tightly involved with the Council, she is the highest member and if she would find out about you she would be the first person that would vote for my death.’
‘Your own mother?’ I ask, staring at him with disbelief.
‘You’ve got to understand that she has to obey to rules. She worked hard to be in her position and she doesn’t give second chances,’ he pauses ‘Me, on the other hand, I was never interested in politics.’
‘So what are you interested with?’
He doesn’t respond straight away, his eyes wonder to the window. Maybe it’s a personal question but Gabriel doesn’t seem to care about the rules. He is confident to carry on with meeting with me. He sounds different when he is talking about the council and these odd laws.
‘Our lives were different when there were changelings around. We had more freedom.’
‘Changelings?’
‘You should know this from the history; we used to swap infants years before but this practice has been stopped...’
‘What do you mean by swapping children?’ I ask.
‘Maybe you are too young to understand what I mean, but before we used to take human infants and replace them with our own, to allow them to have better life.’
‘What?’ I stand up feeling like a stone was just dropped into my stomach, ‘You used to steal children?’
‘If you read your history books, then you would know that this process was common in past centuries,’ he responds coldly.