‘This room is fantastic. I was going to come here and look at it beforehand, but then I changed my mind and just went ahead and reserved it,’ she says while I leave her suitcase on the floor. ‘You know, I couldn’t wait to start living on my own. The parties will be amazing. My friend used to study here and she used to party five days a week!’
I smile, trying to catch my breath. Her luggage is very heavy, probably filled with tonnes of clothes and makeup. I wipe the sweat off my forehead looking around her room.
‘I read that Swansea University has excellent social life,’ I point out.
‘I know, right?’ she beams. ‘My parents run a pub in the village, so at my house it’s always busy. They always ask me to help them out during the busy nights so I am glad that I am here now. Plus my sister just got married; she wants to get pregnant soon so my mother will have a lot on her hands.’
‘Right,’ I say, because I don’t know what else to say, but she continues talking.
‘The girl that studied here, she said that Wine Street has the best clubs ...’
She carries on talking, but I kind of switch off and think about Mum for a second, wondering if she will continue calling me every hour just to check if I am all right. I usually turn off my phone when I am out; she gets mad but I normally handle it when I get home. In certain situations, she learnt that she didn’t need to be so overprotective, but it's impossible to change her character. My teenage years were tough, as Mum never allowed to me go out to socialise with friends. She is focused on her work and on bringing me up right with her orthodox values. Her social life is non-existent and I am the most important person in her life. She abandoned men after my father left; I asked her to go out with friends from work but she never seems interested. She created a routine and didn’t want to change it. My move from London will allow her to acknowledge that there is more to life than the household and me. I hope she will start socialising and changing her routine because she won't need to control me anymore and she won’t have to worry about me all the time.
‘... I especially like Latino music. You know that I used to go to Salsa Lessons? But then I had to stop because of school. What about you? What music do you like?’
After several seconds I realise that she’s gone quiet, so I stop day-dreaming and look at her. ‘Sorry, what did you say?’
‘I was talking about music. What’s your favourite?’ she asks, checking her reflection in the mirror.
I am so glad that she didn’t notice that I wasn’t listening. ‘I don’t have a favourite genre. I don’t listen to music that much.’
‘Well, I like a bit of everything: rock, punk and pop but ...’
‘So ladies, as it's our first day in Swansea,’ says Carl standing in the doorway, cutting her off, ‘I think we should leave the unpacking and go and explore. I am starving.’
I smile, thinking that he came at the right time.
‘I think that’s great,’ I reply quickly. ‘I am quite hungry too, actually.’
‘Fab!’ confirms Amy. ‘Give me ten minutes and I’ll be ready.’
It turns out that Amy needs at least half an hour to get ready before she emerges from upstairs. We leave the house shortly after debating the choice of food. The university is only seven minutes away so we quickly reach the centre and relax in one of the many Chinese restaurants. I hope in this first outing that I will get to know my new housemates a bit better.
‘I am going to study law,’ announces Carl after we order the meal. ‘My father is a solicitor you see, and he wants me to become one.’
‘I chose American studies. One of my friends mentioned that I would be able to go to the States for a year,’ interrupts Amy, stroking her blond curls.
My jaw drops. ‘American studies? That’s exactly what I decided to study,’ I say, now feeling apprehensive about my choice. I didn’t expect to have Amy as my class partner.
‘That’s amazing!’ she giggles and starts bouncing up and down in her chair. Carl can’t help but roll his eyes and I just give her a faint smile.
‘So you only chose this course because you could spend a year in the U.S.?’ asks Carl, still looking fairly amused.
‘Yes, I’d love to stay in Hollywood and meet all those famous actors,’ she continues.
The rest of the conversation moves to slightly safer ground, when we start discussing traditional Russian food. Amy can’t help but talk about her ambitions of partying as often as possible. Studying the same subject as her worries me slightly because Amy’s personality is already overwhelming, but I vow to stay open-minded. We just have different priorities.
After the Chinese, Carl and Amy decide to go back home, but I can’t miss out on a walk along the coastline. I assure them that I will be absolutely fine on my own. This is the perfect opportunity for me to explore the beach; it’s great that I can just go out here as often as I like.
The light warms a quiet city and is consumed by the looming arrival of darkness. I say goodbye to Amy and Carl and walk with them until I get to the beach. The noise of the sea nearby calms me down; the cool breeze caresses my skin. I should be here in the daytime to admire the view, but the sound of waves splashing against the shore makes me want to forget about the world around me.
It's after 9pm when I cross the street and enter the sandy seaside, inhaling the air deep into my lungs. I take off my shoes and socks; the sensation isn’t unpleasant when my bare feet touch the cold sand. The temperature noticeably decreases so I decide to zip up my jacket. The cold air hits me so suddenly. I gasp as the saltiness of the sea air catches in my throat. It suddenly feels too thick and somehow intimidating. But the deafening sound of the waves against the shore soon relaxes me. The sea always makes me feel better, more peaceful. The beach is enclosed by gloom. The light from the streetlamps shines on the pathways, but the light doesn't reach the sand.
I think about my new life and my mother back in London. Everything is going as I imagined it. My close friend, Gosia, promised to visit me shortly and I am hoping to make a few more friends. Gosia only recently started a PhD in Environmental Science. She still lives a very hectic life in London.
Shockingly my phone hasn’t rung; normally my mother would call me to check to see if I am all right. It's strange not to feel controlled by her. I walk towards the sea, the air is stimulating, yet I am enclosed by absolute darkness. For some reason everything seems to be bizarrely similar to that late night in London when I heard the noises on the street, but I quickly tune out those memories. My feet reach the water and I shiver; the sea is freezing cold but I enjoy how free it makes me feel, as I don’t have to worry about anything else.
I start to feel unbearably cold. The thought of going home flashes through my mind, but my next step is regrettable. Suddenly I feel a rending pain in my right leg. I stop and search for my mobile as a source of light to find out what has just happened. I am in agony and then the screen of my phone indicates that there is broken glass embedded in my skin. A thick, dark red fluid covers the sand. I gasp, feeling surrounded by the electrifying, thick air as the pain shoots through me like a bullet.
I suddenly notice someone else standing close to me, which makes me jerk back. I lose my balance and fall on the ground, blinded by the darkness and pain. In a moment I reach for my phone, I grind my teeth together and point the light from my phone on the person standing in front of me. It’s a man, but I can't see his face clearly. My breathing changes, his closeness frightens me and my mind is screaming to get out of here but I can't move. Then he is right next to me and within a few seconds I am lying on the sand. I feel pain spreading all over my body, sand in my mouth and then more penetrating pain so suddenly that I pass out.