Chapter 2
I’m sitting on the toilet while Kammie curls my hair in ringlets for tonight’s party. I swing my legs back and forth, “So you have to score me a friend tonight.” I’ve been telling Kammie over and over again that I think she has to go after Blake and that he’s perfect for her. And she really hasn’t given me an opinion on the matter, which isn’t like Kammie at all! We always discuss boys, together we catalog and analyze their behavior and draw conclusions based on whatever Cosmo article we’ve read that’s relevant . And sometimes we include wisdom from John Green and Taylor Swift; they’re kind of experts on romance.
Kammie is quiet at first; she wraps a strand around the wand. She holds the wand in place; then she unwinds the ribbon of hair, “I’m not so sure Blake even likes me.” I bite back the urge to jump off the toilet and scream at her. Of course he likes her, I could see it from a distance while hanging off of Trevor. Kammie is so pretty, sometimes I feel inadequate as a girl because I always compare myself to her beauty. Even though, it’s ridiculous and completely wrong, I can’t help but feel insecure.
I think back to lunch and seeing the two of them together, “so what were you guys laughing at anyways?”
Kammie snickers as she grabs another piece of hair, “you.” she stops talking so she can keep track of how long she has my hair wrapped around the wand. It’s my rule, we have to count either out loud or in our head how long our hair is on the wand so we don’t burn our hair off. I did that to Kamie’s once, luckily it was a small strand and it was an underneath layer or she would have killed me. Sometimes when we get lost in conversation we will make ourselves count out loud so we can both keep track. I’m starting to get impatient but she releases the ribbon of hair and continues, “all we talked about was you.”
I cross my arms over my chest. I didn’t need to know what was said, “I think I have an idea already,” I whirl to face Kammie and look up at her. She’s holding the curling wand away from my face with her eyes wide; I must have cut it close or something and just missed getting burned with the wand, “how come you’ve never told me I’m hideous?”
Kammie frowns and shakes her head, “you’re not!” she shakes the wand in my face and I dodge the wand, sliding a little off the toilet; I grab the edge of the bathtub to stabilize myself.
“kammie!” I gasp, “that’s four hundred degrees you’re coming at me with.”
Kammie doesn’t back down, “you’re really pretty.” She’s stepping closer to me and I keep shrinking away from her with half of my hair bouncing in sleek coils and the other half is sticking out in every direction like a stack of hay.
Aunt Melissa pokes her head in the bathroom, “Do you know when Trevor will be back? I really need to hit the road, but I don’t want you girls here alone for too long.” Her face is stuck in the mid-smile stage and mixed with a confused expression.
I straighten up and Kammie knocks me in the temple with the wand. I hear a slight sizzle as the wand burns a patch of skin. I let out a wail and Kammie jumps, dropping the wand on top of her foot. She hisses in pain as the wand rolls away from us both. Melissa bends over and snatches the wand, she moans when the wand leaves behind a small browned spot where it burned the linoleum. Melissa places the wand in its holster, but not before she turns the temp down. She eyes me, “didn’t I tell you four hundred is too hot?”
“Sorry,” I mumble. She keeps eyeing me and I turn away from her so she can’t see the burnt spot on my temple. Kammie follows my lead and slips her foot between the toilet and the sink. Melissa doesn’t seem to notice that we’re burned and she doesn’t even mention the spot on the floor which is so unlike my mom. My mom would have vented for days and days upon end and I would have to hear about how much money that would cost her to fix it; even though mom and dad were loaded. Living with Melissa and Trevor was a lot better than living at home. Mom and dad moved to Tokyo because of some job offer. Sometimes they came home on holidays and sometimes they didn’t; either way I was happy with Trev and Melissa, happier than I ever would have been if I was with them.
Melissa’s face softens, “well just make sure you don’t burn anyone’s hair off again,” she winks, “what are you girls going to do anyways?” she’s eyeing us in our bra and panties, which has to look really weird and incredibly suspicious.
Kammie beams, “we’re practicing tricks we read about in cosmo,” it wasn’t a lie, we were doing our hair and makeup based out of this cosmo article for tonight’s party. We were totally going to be hot! I couldn’t wait to see how Kammie’s work was coming along, and I bought this new airbrush makeup kit off line that’s supposed to give you the airbrushed look that models have in magazines.
Melissa gives me a look of disbelief, “uh-huh, and why are we in our bra and panties ladies?”
I lick my lips and nod. Melissa isn’t one to be easily fooled and since she isn’t all that old I guess she can still somewhat remember her teens, I don’t know when adults suddenly lose their ability to relate to being a teenager, but obviously she hasn’t reached that point yet, “I read a Cosmo article that said it’s best use the airbrush before you put your clothes on,” she’s smiling at me like I’m a cat eating a canary, and I already know I’m not succeeding at pulling the wool over the eyes, but I don’t give her the satisfaction of giving up on the lie, “so we wanted to practice putting our clothes on without smudging our makeup before we have an actual date to get ready for.”
Kammie stands on her ankles, which amazes me that they don’t snap in two, “yup we want to perfect the drying time.” She adds.
Melissa shakes her head and smiles, “you know I will always know when you little shits lie,” she shakes her head again, “well one little detail Cosmo failed to mention or one you forgot,” she scrunches her noise, “you should do your hair after you have your outfit on,” I must make a panicked face because she adds, “well next time you know. Just choose and outfit that you can step into or snap on like a bandeau —just nothing that goes over your head,” she shoots us a wink and all I can do is keep thinking how she is the coolest person in the world.
I try to act nonchalant, but I’m too excited because of Trev’s party, “you’re a lot better at raising me than mom,” Melissa gives me a warning look so I don’t push my luck, “anyways, I’m kind of bummed you won’t be here with me and Kammie,” it’s not all a lie, I really do enjoy time with Melissa, she always makes everything so special; and she knows how to make sleepovers spectacular with her little bits of wisdom of womanhood.
Melissa gives us a hug, “I remember having sleepovers with my friends,” she glances at her watch, “speaking of they’re probably wondering where I’m at! I’ve got to make a run to get some wine for the road trip!” she trilled and did a little dance. The looks me and Kammie give her didn’t discourage her from shaking her hips, “Say is this how you twerk?” I grab a roll of toilet paper and throw it at her butt. She giggles and tries to dodge it but it hits her anyway, “okay, okay. Well, tell Trevor I’m sorry I missed him and I will be calling at some point tonight to check on you guys,” she looks me dead in the eye and I can tell she is completely serious, “I’m no fool I know there is going to be a raging party here. I was your age once. So I guess what I am saying is if there is a rager up in here,” she points at me, “you better make sure I don’t find out about it. And if boys should spend the night, no sex!”
Kammie and I squeal and I want to die of mortification, “EW! Melissa! I think you should talk to Trevor about all that.”
Melissa nods, “I would if I could find him. But I’m sure you will relay the message for me,” she adds. “You’re both gorgeous girls, older boys will be on the prowl. Just think of their penis as a giant worm until you’re fifty.”
Kammie and I half scream and half laugh, “Stop!” I shriek. I can definitely see why Trevor is the way he is. And maybe I shouldn’t get all of Melissa’s wisdom; I’m obviously not ready for all of it just yet. My minds burning with grotesque images of
worms attacking me, there’s obviously this universal rule of once things are said they can never be unheard. I could totally sing a duet with Cher; if I could turn back time… I definitely would have dodged this conversation before it could have happened.
Melissa throws her hands up in the air in mock surrender, “look no one told me that when I was sixteen and I was knocked up before it was cool on MTV.” She winks and ducks out of the bathroom. Sometimes I feel like we’re the ones raising Melissa; she’s so crazy but you’ve got to love her.
We finish up our hair and makeup just as I hear Trevor and someone else tromp up the stairs. I crash into Kammie; she’s frozen in the bathroom doorway. I give her a playful nudge, “we don’t have all day!” I’m kind of playing but not really because we are in our bras and panties and we need to get our outfits on before the guys show up.
Kammie hisses over her shoulder, “we’re kind of stuck here,” I push her out in the hallway and see what the deal is and that’s when my jaw drops to the floor. Trevor and Blake are staring first at Kammie and now at me.
They’re both shirtless and sweaty, I’ve seen Trevor run around shirtless countless times and he’s seen me in my undies, never thought much about it, but to see Blake like this and for him to see me like this was just too much. The four of us just stand in the hall half naked, nobody’s saying anything we’re all just standing and staring all breathless and senseless.
Blake’s body looks so good; the light hits his abs just right, I admire the sweat that slithers over his ridges, accentuating the definition of his torso. Worms! I need to think of thousands of grotesque worms! But… Blake is built for days; I think I’ve heard Melissa talk about a man that was ‘built like a brick shit house’ I’m not sure what that means but I think it means someone with a six pack and roped arms, and if that’s what it means then Blake is a brick shithouse.
“What is going on?” Trevor demands looking slightly uncomfortable and out of breath. He has this weird look on his face that I can’t place.
“Damn Comso!” Kammie mutters under her breath.
I nod in agreement; damn Cosmo! Cosmo’s tip of the day can go to fire and flames for all I care and blow away in ashes. I curse the moment I thought the article was pure genius; now with this oh shit situation at the present and Melissa pointing out the flaws in the print, it’s not so genius after all, “we didn’t want to get make up on our outfits,” I push Kammie towards my room and I quickly add, “Melissa says if we have a rager we better not get caught.” I dare a glance over my shoulder and I could have sworn that I caught Blake checking me out but I seriously doubt it; why would he when he compared me to a trucker? Thinking of him seeing me in my silky skivvies gives me a tiny moment of triumph; at least he’ll know my underwear collection isn’t all cartoon characters. I flush at my thoughts, I really didn’t want him to see any of my underwear but I guess if he had to I would want him to see my Sunday’s best.
Kammie slams my door shut, both our faces are glistening with the mixture of bronzer and blush, if not for that you’d see our faces flushed from embarrassment. I walk over to my closet and squeal, “did you see his body?” I’m fanning myself and tossing out possible dresses for us, careful to choose one we can easily step into. No matter how hard I try, I couldn’t get the image of Blake’s sweaty body from my mind. Dressed in sweat, his body glittered under the lights, chills spill over my arms when I think of the way droplets slithered down his face, over the ridges of his abdomen, down to the v of hips. Sweat’s disgusting sure, but he made it look delicious. “You realize he makes something as gross as sweat delicious?” she laughs and I shake my head. “You’re freaking lucky, freaking lucky.” I mumble into my closet.
Kammie plops on my bed with a wild grin on her face, “oh yeah, but I was totally looking at your cousin.”
I laugh with her and hold up an orange silk dress for her to examine, “gross,” I bite the corner of my lip, “he works out,” we both giggle at my imitation of that song on the radio, Kammie continues with wiggle wiggle wiggle. Kammie shakes her head at the dress so I stick it back in the closet, “I thought it would look good on you,” I wave my hand at my collection, “pick something out yourself, just remember to pick something out that you can step into.” Kammie jumps off the bed and delves through my stuff. She always wears something of mine for parties and stuff because her parents are total conservatives; which in case you didn’t already notice Melissa is pretty open about stuff. I rip off by bra, grab a hot pink strapless bandeau top and tight black yoga pants and slip them on, “Well?” Kammie giggles and when I turn around I see that she’s wearing a multi colored bandeau with gray yoga pants.
This tends to happen a lot, us accidently matching, sometimes it’s as crazy as wearing our hair the same. People never believed us when we told them it wasn’t planned, they’d say we were attached at the hips, never one without the other. I wonder if this will make us seem childish, but then I see how we look in our outfits, we definitely don’t look like children.
“Nice outfit.” I say. Then I have to tell her to take her bra off since the top is basically a bra, as I said she’s lived a sheltered life.
We stand in front of the mirror and examine ourselves, when a knock comes to the door, “it’s open!” I expect to see Trevor at my door, but instead it’s some random dude with shaggy hair.
He nods his head and sticks his hands in his back pockets, “Where’s the bathroom?” he asks. He’s wearing dark jeans and a bright blue flannel shirt. He’s cute with dark hair and eyes. I’m trying to decide if he’s as hot as Blake but can’t formulate an opinion just yet; and I won’t let myself analyze if I am pretty enough for him or not, I refuse to sink into self loathing state ; and I so don’t want to go to a pity-party tonight.
It takes me a minute, but then I smile, “across the hall,” I point in the general direction because you can see the bathroom door from my bedroom. The dude jumps as a hand comes down hard on his shoulder yanking him back.
“Do you have a hearing problem or something? I said use the bathroom downstairs because the girls are getting ready.” Blake has his arms folded across his chest and he looks pissed. I’m a little disappointed to see Blake with a shirt on and I’m a lot disappointed in myself for even thinking like that, Blake is supposed to be for Kammie.
Radom dude shoots me a wicked grin before he backs away, heading downstairs. Blake glares at him for a while and then turns back to me. I swallow hard when I see he hasn’t stopped glaring. I look to the floor unable to meet his gaze. Kammie shimmies by me, “hey girl I’m gonna see if Trevor needs help with anything.” I give her a panicked look and beg her with my eyes to never leave my side. Of course the look is lost on her because within seconds she slips on out the door and waves at Blake.
Blake’s leaning against my doorframe with his arms folded over his chest. He doesn’t say anything just keeps giving me the evil eye, “um, did you um want something or something?” I close my eyes. I know I sound stupid but Blake makes me so nervous. Butterflies swirl in my stomach, while conflicting emotions whirl in my mind: I want him to stay; but I need him to go. I know it’s lame to be so nervous, but he’s seriously the hottest guy on the planet and I’d give anything to have him think of me as anything but a trucker. Kammie, I need to think about Kammie. Blake is soon to be Kammie’s man so I need to stop thinking of him like that. I really don’t understand why it’s so hard for me to comprehend the concept of Kammie and Blake being perfect for each other, but it just slips through the cracks of my mind so easily when I get lost in those stormy eyes.
Blake doesn’t say anything he just turns to leave and stops only to close my own door in my face leaving me alone in my room. I’m so confused right now. What am I suppose to do? Just stay here? Is that why he shut the door? To shut me out of the party? Was I that hideous that he didn’t think I should attend to Trevor’s party? Just when I was starting to get some of my confidence back it all slips away with one little action from one stup
id hot guy!
I glance at myself in the mirror again; the reflection I see is pretty. My face is bronzed and blushed, highlighting high cheek bones and a pointed chin. The lids of my eyes are painted with a shimmer of white, silver, blue, gray and black shadows all perfectly blended and smoked out to enhance the definition and shape. My eyes are lined with navy, never have they looked so blue or vibrant, they pop out of my face and demand attention. My hair falls in sleek black coils; they curl past my shoulders and down my back. My chest fills the top just right; some flesh spills over the seams, thanks to the change I’ve finally gotten some cleavage. I think I look good. Just because Blake doesn’t find me attractive doesn’t mean no one else will. Screw him! I slip on my stilettos and head downstairs.
Kammie sits on top of the island laughing with Trevor and Blake. I beam at her and strut over to where they are not even looking in Blake’s direction; I won’t even acknowledge his presence. The three of them are taking shots. I look around the room and see the house is empty of people, I don’t even see the random dude from earlier, “Where’s all the peeps?”
Blake holds up a shot glass full of something in my direction I don’t even look at him, I lean forward and grab a shot from Trevor’s hand that was almost to his lips and downed it before he could say otherwise. Trevor laughs and doesn’t say a thing he pats my back like he thinks I’m the cutest person in the world. I’ve seen enough John Wayne movies to know how to take a shot. My eyes burn and I sputter as hot lava slides down my throat. I cough forever and it’s a minute or so before I speak because whatever I just drank robbed me of my breath, “oh . my. Gosh!” I cough a little more.
Kammie giggles, “it’s terrible!” I nod in agreement. Kammie still has half a shot left, I guess she must have sipped hers; she’s obviously never watched John Wayne. I think I gave her some confidence because she throws the rest of it back. She wipes her lips with the back of her hand and tries to hold back coughs, but it’s all in vain because in the end she does cough.
Trevor smirks at us, “well are you girls satisfied that you’re not missing out on anything? Now that you tried alcohol and you see how bad it is, you’re not going to sneak it through the night?”
Kammie nods in agreement, I start to object, but then think better of it. It’s annoying that he’s tricking us in order to teach us a lesson like we’re children. It’s infuriating and I’d love to tell him that I can do whatever I want, but I don’t. Instead I decide to keep my mouth shut and play along, because I had no intentions of being a good girl, tonight I was going to cut loose and show him that I could handle some adult beverages like the rest of them. I smile at him, “Ew that tastes like kerosene.” I say.
Trevor seems pleased with answer, and doesn’t see the look exchanged between Kammie and I, “well you girls can tell all your little friends at school that you got to party with the upper classmen.” I look at Kammie, she smiles with the devil in her eye, I’m smiling too and wonder if I look the same.
Random dude bursts through the backdoor in the kitchen with a keg, “just how old are they?” Random dude sets the keg on the floor and wipes sweat from his brow, “there’s two more in the back of the truck,” he waves a hand at Blake, “Dude you’re next to haul one I need a glass of water it’s hotter than a mofo!” Blake hesitates but then he ducks out the door and I want to scream good riddance but I don’t of course.
I walk over to the counter and reach over random dude to get a glass. I smile at him, he’s leaning against the counter with his eyes twinkling at me. I’m stuck on my tip toes and the two of us just stare at each other. A door slams and I’m jolted back to my task. I turn the faucet on and fill the glass before handing it to him. His fingers brush mine as he takes the glass smiling at me, “Lexi.” I say.
He nods, “sexy Lexi,” I gasp and shake my head, ok it’s nice to be called sexy but not in front of your older cousin who definitely didn’t hear that because he would have kicked him out of the house, “Evan,” he winks. I nod and repeat his name and lean next to him on the counter.
I give him the side eye, he’s got a nice profile, his jaw’s naked of stubble, but he’s cute in boyishly handsome way. His hair’s just the right length to be considered a shag; it falls in layers just an inch past his ears. It’s dark, but not as dark as mine, he looks like he could be in a boy band. Dimples appear when his mouth curls into a smile, he’s definitely hot.
“Talk like that can be hazardous to your health,” I say.
He makes a face, “Why, your boyfriend going to kick my ass?”
I smile, “Not my boyfriend, but Trev will for sure.” I bite the corner of my lip, I’m pretty sure Evan was hedging to see if I was single or not. I should have just said right away that I was single, but I kind of liked the rush of dangling on the edge of the unknown. I wasn’t about to put myself out there, a girl could get hurt doing something like that. I’d already been burned once by Blake, I wasn’t ready to be burned by Evan if I was reading too much into things.
Evan faces me and when our eyes collide my mouth goes dry, I get lost in his velvety brown irises, my mind melts into a blur and it’s hard to focus. He parts his lips, we’re so close I feel his breath on my face when he says, “he did say he’d kick anyone’s ass who messed with his baby cousin.”
I flinch, he would say something like that. I’d be embarrassed right now if I wasn’t so consumed by the velvet of his eyes and his breath on my face. “I’m not a baby.” I say lamely.
He smiles, “I know.” I pull my eyes from his, glance at the island in the middle of the kitchen to see if Trevor’s watching me, but his back’s to us and he’s too into whatever he’s talking about with Kammie to notice.
Kammie gives me the thumbs up from the island and I nod. I jump out of my skin when I feel Evan’s thumb graze my upper arm, “So, do you think Trevor’s going to beat me up for talking to you?” He asks, and before I can answer Blake slams the second keg in front of me barely missing my toes. I look up in utter shock. Trevor and Kammie seem oblivious to it all. Trevor’s too busy demonstrating what looks like his latest soccer moves for Kammie while she giggles and shamelessly bats her fake eyelashes at him.
“hey.” Evan chuckles, missing the fact that Blake did that on purpose, “easy there big guy.” Evan might have missed it, but I didn’t.
Blake doesn’t even look at Evan he’s too busy eyeing me like some stoic weirdo. I seriously hope he stops hating me and soon, I’m not sure my shoe collection would survive his temperament. I want to ask him what his deal is, I want to ask him why he doesn’t like me, but I don’t.
I brush past Blake when I hear the front door open, “be right back,” I ease past Trevor and pat his shoulder, “don’t stop what you’re doing I’ll see to the guest.” Kammie giggles at me and Trevor nods and picks up where he left off. I glance over my shoulder, and smile at Kammie perched up on the island like some oriental bird and Trevor standing in front of her being so animated. It was funny, funny until I open the door to Kim and crew strutting their stuff in the house. I inhale and make my voice loud and excited, “oh my gosh! Kim!” I jump and squeal, “I am so glad you are finally here!” we both jump up and down and she devours me in a hug and introduces me to her gang. I hug each and every one of them to buy time and pray that Trevor heard.
Kim flips her hair over her shoulder, “you look hawt!” I say a thanks and return the compliment. Kim’s eyes get wide and she’s looking around the room, “I brought the decorations and lighting,” her eyes narrow at her girls, they take this as a hint to scurry out the door. She turns back to me and a smile blooms back on her face, “where’s my man?”” I take her to the kitchen. She’s discussing with me about how she’s going to make Trevor be cool and stop being such a stiff about not letting me drink when she stops midsentence and I think I kind of know what’s making her eyes bug out of her head.
Yeah, I don’t think the scene I left a few minutes ago is all that funny to Kim. Kammie is looking so gorgeous sitt
ing on the island with her legs crossed. Trevor has a hand on Kammie’s knee and he’s standing directly in front of her; her knees are pressed into his stomach and it looks super intense and romantic except it’s not because Trevor is reliving some soccer game, and he and Kammie are oblivious to me and Kim.
Kim does nothing. Her mouth just kind of hangs open. I look around and I don’t see Evan or Blake. I do the only thing I know to do and clear my throat. Trevor looks up and smiles at Kim, “Hey babe!” Kammie’s face turns beet red when she looks over her shoulder. I send her a shrug and shake my head. I think Kammie’s in for it; it’s possible she’s on Kim’s shit list, whether I like it or not Kammie is probably going to eat mud and learn how the taste lingers long after it’s been washed away.
Though it takes Kim a minute, she replaces the look of horror on her face with a fake Miss America smile, “Hey,” her voice is shaky at first but she recovers, “so I’m going to steal the girls and we are going to jazz this place up.” She purses her lips and smoothes out her lip gloss. I guess Trevor is lost to how inappropriate this all looks because he backs away and slides his hand off her leg before he helps her off the island.
Trevor heads out the back door, “I’m gonna’ check on Evan, Blake’s on a hooch run,” he grins and winks at Kim before he closes the door behind him.
Kim looks at me and Kammie, “so you girls ready?” we exchange a look and Kammie gives me a weak smile. She looks like a person caught with their hand in the cookie jar and we all know it. Kim doesn’t say a word we all just get busy carrying out her orders for the decorating.