CHAPTER XVII
To return to Derrick Dene. When Isabel had left the van he lay, with afrown on his face, thinking sadly and troubled by a somewhatunreasonable remorse. He was not a vain man, but he knew that, allunwittingly, he had gained the love of this dark-browed, passionategirl. She was very beautiful; she had nursed him with the tenderness ofa sister, a mother, a wife. Why should he not accept the gift which thegods were offering him? Why should he not make her his wife? Even as heput the question, the answer rose to confront him. He was in love withanother woman, a girl he had seen once or twice only in his life--thegirl at Brown's Buildings.
It was absurd, of course. He might never meet her again; it was morethan probable that by this time some other man had discovered so great aprize; she might be engaged, married. The chances were that, though hehad thought of her every day since he had left her, she had well-nighforgotten him, or, at the best, thought of him as a foolish young manwho had sacrificed himself for a mistaken sense of chivalry, the manwhom she, a slip of a girl, had saved from suicide. Why, he toldhimself, any feeling she must have for him must be that of contempt. Allthe same, he loved her, and therefore this other woman could be nothingto him.
The doctor and Mr. Bloxford came to see him; Bloxford full of impishdelight and satisfaction at Derrick's recovery, and full also of threatsof what he, Bloxford, would do if ever he came across the cause ofDerrick's "accident."
An hour later Derrick had another visitor. It was Sidcup. Derrick likedthe man; for, notwithstanding his harmless vanity, he was a decent sort,and the courage he displayed in his performance won Derrick'sadmiration. Sidcup came in and stood beside the bunk, and looked down atDerrick with a grim countenance, and he did not offer to shake hands.
"You're better, Green?" he said. "Do you think you're well enough tohave a little talk? Don't say so, if you're not; but I want to have aword or two with you rather badly."
"I'm all right," said Derrick. "Fire away! It's awfully good of you tocome and see me."
"I dunno," said Sidcup, moodily. "I came on my own account--andanother's. Look here, Green; it's about Isabel. I want to have it outwith you."
Derrick had raised himself on his elbow, but at this he dropped back andhis eyes fell, for he knew what was coming.
"Of course you know how it is with her," said Sidcup. "You're not blind,and you must have seen for some time past that she's--sweet on you. Idon't say it's your fault; in fact, I'll go so far as to say that youhaven't led her on, encouraged her, as another man might have done.That's just the worst of it. Perhaps, if you had, she wouldn't have beenso taken with you. It's the way with some women to go after the man thatdraws back or doesn't meet 'em half-way."
"Look here----" said Derrick. But Sidcup shook his head.
"Better let me finish," he said; "no doubt you'll have something to saywhen I've done. Of course, you'll deny it, but what's the use? All thecompany know it. And I--well, I've the best reason for knowing it. Oh,yes, I've come to speak out. I'm sweet on her myself--no, that's not theword, for I _love_ her. It's no new affair with me; it's been going onever since she joined us. She's the one woman in the world for me, and Iwant her, want her badly. But it's love with me, the real thing, and Itell you straight, Green, that, if you care for her, if you'll marryher, I'll stand aside, and I'll do all I can for you and her. That's howit is with me."
Derrick, with his brows drawn straight and his lips shut, held out hishand, for his heart went out to this man who was in the same case ashimself. But Sidcup disregarded the proffered hand.
"Wait a bit!" he said. "I want to hear what you're going to say, whatyou're going to do; for I tell you plainly that, if you don't mean thestraight thing by Isabel, you've got to reckon with me, and I shan'tmiss it, as that fool of a Jackman did. Will you marry her?"
"No," said Derrick, in a low voice, but decidedly. "Mind, I don't admitthe truth of your--your statement; but, if I did, there are reasons----"
"There's another woman," said Sidcup, drawing a long breath.
Derrick's pale face flushed. "There are reasons why I can't marry anywoman, Sidcup," he said. "No, I can't tell you them, but you can take itfrom me that they exist. No, I'm not married already," he added, with agrim smile, as he saw the question in Sidcup's eyes. "The fact is, I'man outcast and a pariah. Sounds melodramatic, doesn't it? But it's thetruth. And you can tell Isabel so, if you like."
Sidcup laughed bitterly.
"Do you think that would make any difference to her?" he retorted. "Youdon't know much about women----"
"I don't!" interjected Derrick.
"----If you think that would put her off. It would make her more gone onyou than ever. She's that sort. And if you don't, or can't, marry her,what are you going to do?"
"The Lord knows," groaned Derrick, desperately.
"Look here, Green, you're a gentleman," said Sidcup.
"Am I? Thank you. But I'm not so sure. I don't know that I've any claimto the title."
"You're a gentleman, right enough; we all know that," said Sidcup. "Butyou haven't traded on it, I'll say that for you. And there's only onething for a man to do who is a gentleman----"
"And that is?" asked Derrick.
"To cut and run; to clear out," replied Sidcup. "Oh, don't make anymistake! If you stay on with the company, things between you and Isabelwill grow from bad to worse."
"I tell you that it's your fancy, that you exaggerate----"
"She's one of the most beautiful women God ever made," said Sidcup,ignoring Derrick's remonstrance, "and no man could resist for long sucha woman, especially when she's gone on him, as Isabel is on you. Yes,there's only one thing for you to do, and that is to clear out as soonas you're able. And if you're the straight man I think you, you'll doit, for her sake--I won't say for mine."
Derrick rose painfully on his elbow.
"By Heaven, Sidcup," he said, in the stifled voice of a man who isdeeply moved, "you're a good chap; and, if I go, it will be for _your_sake. I'd rather cut this hand off than come between a man and the girlhe loves."
"Yes, and there's another reason," said Sidcup, with a shake of thehead. "Isabel's not the only one; there's Alice."
Derrick's eyes shone angrily now.
"Oh, go to blazes!" he said. "You're out of your mind; you'll be tellingme that all the blessed women in the company----"
"Well, we'll let her go," said Sidcup, "though it's the truth. What areyou going to do?"
Derrick lay still for a moment or two; then he heaved a sigh. He hadfound an occupation which, if it did not exactly suit him, provided himwith a living, and it was hard to be compelled to surrender it. Itseemed to him that he was doomed to be a wanderer, a fugitive; he hadflown from man's judgment; now he was told that he must fly from awoman's love.
"I suppose I'll have to go," he said. "I can't stay and make troublebetween you and the woman who has been so good to me. God bless her!"
At this Sidcup took Derrick's hand and pressed it.
"I said you were a gentleman and would do the right thing," he said."God knows whether it will be any good to me, your going; but it will begood for Isabel. Look here, you'll have to pad the hoof without any'good-byes.' Yes, you will"--as Derrick stared at him. "Why, man, do yousuppose she'd let you go if she knew you meant it? You don't knowIsabel; you see, you don't love her as I do. She's the sort to go offwith you----"
"Oh, stow it! You make me tired," implored Derrick. "But if I must, Imust. Seems to me you're having it all your own way, Sidcup. I'm to gooff without saying 'good-bye' to all the people who have been so kind tome. Oh, dash it!"
"The only way," said Sidcup, firmly. "And look here," he added, after apause. "I know I'm doing you out of a good berth, and one that wouldhave been better still if you could have stayed, for the old man's cleangone on you, and in time you'd have been the boss in reality, as well asin name, which you are now. And I don't forget that you're stranded inthis outlandish place. Oh, I know how much I'm asking of you, and--andI'm not ungrateful.
"
"For goodness' sake, say no more about it," said Derrick.
"Only this," said Sidcup, colouring and hesitating nervously. "You maynot be very oofish; you'll want some coin. I've saved a few quid----"
"That puts a finish to it," broke in Derrick, flushing angrily, and yetwith something very different from anger in his heart. "Get out, or--orI'll throw you out!"
"You couldn't throw out a mouse," retorted Sidcup, with a mirthlesssmile. "All right. I was afraid you wouldn't accept my offer; but thereit is. You've played the part of a gentleman, Green----"
"Oh, go and be hanged!"
"Is there anything I can do for you?" inquired Sidcup, with a friendlyand admiring look in his eyes, which, though they were rather too fondof viewing themselves in the looking-glass, were honest and true.
"Yes, you can go and get the property pistol and shoot me," saidDerrick. "But leave me alone now, there's a good fellow. I've given youmy word."
"And you'll stick to it, I know," said Sidcup, shaking hands with him.
Isabel sat beside her patient that night, as she had sat for the fourpreceding ones; but few words passed between them, for Derrick seemed tobe sleepy--at any rate, he lay with his eyes closed. The next day it wasIsabel who was silent; for, woman-like, she felt that a barrier hadrisen between them, and she was wondering what it could be. Derrick wasa strong man, and he recovered quickly. In a day or two he was able toget about, and on the morning of the fifth he sought Mr. Bloxford and,as gently as he could, informed him that he, Derrick, would have toleave his employment.
Mr. Bloxford stared, grew red and exceeding wrath.
"What the deuce does this mean?" he demanded, throwing open his fur coatand sticking out his chest. "Look here, if you're not satisfied----"
Derrick made haste to assert not only his entire satisfaction with, buthis gratitude for, Mr. Bloxford's confidence and generosity.
"Then what is it?" shrilled Mr. Bloxford. "Has anybody been roughingyou? If so, out he goes. Oh, I can't part with you, and that's the longand short of it. Here, what is it?"
"That's just what I can't tell you," said Derrick, colouring under thesharp, gimlet-like eyes.
Mr. Bloxford scratched his hairless head and looked despairingly atDerrick. From the first he had expected that there were grave reasonsfor the young man's presence in the company; a man of Derrick's breedingdoes not join a travelling circus for the mere fun of it.
"Some trouble, I suppose, eh? Got to clear out? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Look here, can't something be done--can't it be squared? if it'smoney--well, say the amount"--he threw out his chest again--"and itshall be forthcoming. I'll own up that I've taken a fancy to you, thatI'd plank down a biggish sum to keep you with me. No?"--for Derrick hadshaken his head.
"Thank you with all my heart," said Derrick. "I must clear out withoutany fuss. I've got a bundle packed, and I'm going straight off directlyI leave you."
Mr. Bloxford's countenance fell, and he whistled.
"Bad as that, is it? Whatever have you done? Well, well, I won't ask anyquestions. I've met some of your sort before; there's always somethingshady--though it goes against the grain with me to think that you'vedone anything low down and mean. But I see there's no use talking."
He thrust his hand in his breast-pocket, in which, with his love ofostentation, he always carried a bundle of notes and some loose gold,and, as he held out his hand to Derrick, there was something crisp init.
Derrick shook the hand and pressed back the note; he could not speak fora minute; then he said, rather huskily:
"It's all right, Mr. Bloxford. You paid me on Friday night, and I'veplenty to go on with."
With that he went out, heavy-hearted, and Mr. Bloxford stood at thedoor, his extraordinary face drawn into a thousand wrinkles and his lipsshaping strange oaths.