Chapter vii.
_Wherein Anna Boleyn relates the history of her life._
"I am going now truly to recount a life which from the time of itsceasing has been, in the other world, the continual subject of thecavils of contending parties; the one making me as black as hell, theother as pure and innocent as the inhabitants of this blessed place; themist of prejudice blinding their eyes, and zeal for what they themselvesprofess, making everything appear in that light which they think mostconduces to its honour.
"My infancy was spent in my father's house, in those childish playswhich are most suitable to that state, and I think this was one of thehappiest parts of my life; for my parents were not among the number ofthose who look upon their children as so many objects of a tyrannicpower, but I was regarded as the dear pledge of a virtuous love, and allmy little pleasures were thought from their indulgence their greatestdelight. At seven years old I was carried into France with the king'ssister, who was married to the French king, where I lived with a personof quality, who was an acquaintance of my father's. I spent my time inlearning those things necessary to give young persons of fashion apolite education, and did neither good nor evil, but day passed afterday in the same easy way till I was fourteen; then began my anxiety, myvanity grew strong, and my heart fluttered with joy at every complimentpaid to my beauty: and as the lady with whom I lived was of a gay,chearful disposition, she kept a great deal of company, and my youth andcharms made me the continual object of their admiration. I passed somelittle time in those exulting raptures which are felt by every womanperfectly satisfied with herself and with the behaviour of otherstowards her: I was, when very young, promoted to be maid of honour toher majesty. The court was frequented by a young nobleman whose beautywas the chief subject of conversation in all assemblies of ladies. Thedelicacy of his person, added to a great softness in his manner, gaveeverything he said and did such an air of tenderness, that every womanhe spoke to flattered herself with being the object of his love. I wasone of those who was vain enough of my own charms to hope to make aconquest of him whom the whole court sighed for. I now thought everyother object below my notice; yet the only pleasure I proposed to myselfin this design was, the triumphing over that heart which I plainly sawall the ladies of the highest quality and the greatest beauty would havebeen proud of possessing. I was yet too young to be very artful; butnature, without any assistance, soon discovers to a man who is used togallantry a woman's desire to be liked by him, whether that desirearises from any particular choice she makes of him, or only from vanity.He soon perceived my thoughts, and gratified my utmost wishes byconstantly preferring me before all other women, and exerting his utmostgallantry and address to engage my affections. This sudden happiness,which I then thought the greatest I could have had, appeared visible inall my actions; I grew so gay and so full of vivacity, that it made myperson appear still to a better advantage, all my acquaintancepretending to be fonder of me than ever: though, young as I was, Iplainly saw it was but pretence, for through all their endeavours to thecontrary envy would often break forth in sly insinuations and malicioussneers, which gave me fresh matter of triumph, and frequentopportunities of insulting them, which I never let slip, for now firstmy female heart grew sensible of the spiteful pleasure of seeing anotherlanguish for what I enjoyed. Whilst I was in the height of my happinessher majesty fell ill of a languishing distemper, which obliged her to gointo the country for the change of air: my place made it necessary forme to attend her, and which way he brought it about I can't imagine, butmy young hero found means to be one of that small train that waited onmy royal mistress, although she went as privately as possible. Hithertoall the interviews I had ever had with him were in public, and I onlylooked on him as the fitter object to feed that pride which had no otherview but to shew its power; but now the scene was quite changed. Myrivals were all at a distance: the place we went to was as charming asthe most agreeable natural situation, assisted by the greatest art,could make it; the pleasant solitary walks, the singing of birds, thethousand pretty romantic scenes this delightful place afforded, gave asudden turn to my mind; my whole soul was melted into softness, and allmy vanity was fled. My spark was too much used to affairs of this naturenot to perceive this change; at first the profuse transports of his joymade me believe him wholly mine, and this belief gave me such happinessthat no language affords words to express it, and can be only known tothose who have felt it. But this was of a very short duration, for Isoon found I had to do with one of those men whose only end in thepursuit of a woman is to make her fall a victim to an insatiable desireto be admired. His designs had succeeded, and now he every day grewcolder, and, as if by infatuation, my passion every day increased; and,notwithstanding all my resolutions and endeavours to the contrary, myrage at the disappointment at once both of my love and pride, and at thefinding a passion fixed in my breast I knew not how to conquer, brokeout into that inconsistent behaviour which must always be theconsequence of violent passions. One moment I reproached him, the next Igrew to tenderness and blamed myself, and thought I fancied what was nottrue: he saw my struggle and triumphed in it; but, as he had notwitnesses enough there of his victory to give him the full enjoyment ofit, he grew weary of the country and returned to Paris, and left me in acondition it is utterly impossible to describe. My mind was like a cityup in arms, all confusion; and every new thought was a fresh disturberof my peace. Sleep quite forsook me, and the anxiety I suffered threw meinto a fever which had like to have cost me my life. With great care Irecovered, but the violence of the distemper left such a weakness on mybody that the disturbance of my mind was greatly assuaged; and now Ibegan to comfort myself in the reflection that this gentleman's being afinished coquet was very likely the only thing could have preserved me;for he was the only man from whom I was ever in any danger. By that timeI was got tolerably well we returned to Paris; and I confess I bothwished and feared to see this cause of all my pain: however, I hoped, bythe help of my resentment, to be able to meet him with indifference.This employed my thoughts till our arrival. The next day there was avery full court to congratulate the queen on her recovery; and amongstthe rest my love appeared dressed and adorned as if he designed some newconquest. Instead of seeing a woman he despised and slighted, heapproached me with that assured air which is common to successfulcoxcombs. At the same time I perceived I was surrounded by all thoseladies who were on his account my greatest enemies, and, in revenge,wished for nothing more than to see me make a ridiculous figure. Thissituation so perplexed my thoughts, that when he came near enough tospeak to me, I fainted away in his arms. Had I studied which way I couldgratify him most, it was impossible to have done anything to havepleased him more. Some that stood by brought smelling-bottles, and usedmeans for my recovery; and I was welcomed to returning life by all thoserepartees which women enraged by envy are capable of venting. One cried,'Well, I never thought my lord had anything so frightful in his personor so fierce in his manner as to strike a young lady dead at the sightof him.' 'No, no,' says another, 'some ladies' senses are more apt to behurried by agreeable than disagreeable objects.' With many more suchsort of speeches which shewed more malice than wit. This not being ableto bear, trembling, and with but just strength enough to move, I crawledto my coach and hurried home. When I was alone, and thought on what hadhappened to me in a public court, I was at first driven to the utmostdespair; but afterwards, when I came to reflect, I believe this accidentcontributed more to my being cured of my passion than any other couldhave done. I began to think the only method to pique the man who hadused me so barbarously, and to be revenged on my spightful rivals, wasto recover that beauty which was then languid and had lost its lustre,to let them see I had still charms enough to engage as many lovers as Icould desire, and that I could yet rival them who had thus cruellyinsulted me. These pleasing hopes revived my sinking spirits, and workeda more effectual cure on me than all the philosophy and advice of thewisest men could have done. I now employed all my time and care inadorning my person,
and studying the surest means of engaging theaffections of others, while I myself continued quite indifferent; for Iresolved for the future, if ever one soft thought made its way to myheart, to fly the object of it, and by new lovers to drive the imagefrom my breast. I consulted my glass every morning, and got such acommand of my countenance that I could suit it to the different tastesof variety of lovers; and though I was young, for I was not yet aboveseventeen, yet my public way of life gave me such continualopportunities of conversing with men, and the strong desire I now had ofpleasing them led me to make such constant observations on everythingthey said or did, that I soon found out the different methods of dealingwith them. I observed that most men generally liked in women what wasmost opposite to their own characters; therefore to the grave solid manof sense I endeavoured to appear sprightly and full of spirit; to thewitty and gay, soft and languishing; to the amorous (for they want noincrease of their passions), cold and reserved; to the fearful andbackward, warm and full of fire; and so of all the rest. As to beaus,and all those sort of men, whose desires are centred in the satisfactionof their vanity, I had learned by sad experience the only way to dealwith them was to laugh at them and let their own good opinion ofthemselves be the only support of their hopes. I knew, while I could getother followers, I was sure of them; for the only sign of modesty theyever give is that of not depending on their own judgments, but followingthe opinions of the greatest number. Thus furnished with maxims, andgrown wise by past errors, I in a manner began the world again: Iappeared in all public places handsomer and more lively than ever, tothe amazement of every one who saw me and had heard of the affairbetween me and my lord. He himself was much surprized and vexed at thissudden change, nor could he account how it was possible for me so soonto shake off those chains he thought he had fixed on me for life; norwas he willing to lose his conquest in this manner. He endeavoured byall means possible to talk to me again of love, but I stood fixed to myresolution (in which I was greatly assisted by the croud of admirersthat daily surrounded me) never to let him explain himself: for,notwithstanding all my pride, I found the first impression the heartreceives of love is so strong that it requires the most vigilant care toprevent a relapse. Now I lived three years in a constant round ofdiversions, and was made the perfect idol of all the men that came tocourt of all ages and all characters. I had several good matches offeredme, but I thought none of them equal to my merit; and one of my greatestpleasures was to see those women who had pretended to rival me oftenglad to marry those whom I had refused. Yet, notwithstanding this greatsuccess of my schemes, I cannot say I was perfectly happy; for everywoman that was taken the least notice of, and every man that wasinsensible to my arts, gave me as much pain as all the rest gave mepleasure; and sometimes little underhand plots which were laid againstmy designs would succeed in spite of my care: so that I really began togrow weary of this manner of life, when my father, returning from hisembassy in France, took me home with him, and carried me to a littlepleasant country-house, where there was nothing grand or superfluous,but everything neat and agreeable. There I led a life perfectlysolitary. At first the time hung very heavy on my hands, and I wantedall kind of employment, and I had very like to have fallen into theheight of the vapours, from no other reason but from want of knowingwhat to do with myself. But when I had lived here a little time I foundsuch a calmness in my mind, and such a difference between this and therestless anxieties I had experienced in a court, that I began to sharethe tranquillity that visibly appeared in everything round me. I setmyself to do works of fancy, and to raise little flower-gardens, withmany such innocent rural amusements; which, although they are notcapable of affording any great pleasure, yet they give that serene turnto the mind which I think much preferable to anything else human natureis made susceptible of. I now resolved to spend the rest of my dayshere, and that nothing should allure me from that sweet retirement, tobe again tossed about with tempestuous passions of any kind. Whilst Iwas in this situation my lord Percy, the earl of Northumberland's eldestson, by an accident of losing his way after a fox-chase, was met by myfather about a mile from our house; he came home with him, only with adesign of dining with us, but was so taken with me that he stayed threedays. I had too much experience in all affairs of this kind not to seepresently the influence I had on him; but I was at that time so intirelyfree from all ambition, that even the prospect of being a countess hadno effect on me; and I then thought nothing in the world could havebribed me to have changed my way of life. This young lord, who was justin his bloom, found his passion so strong, he could not endure a longabsence, but returned again in a week, and endeavoured, by all the meanshe could think of, to engage me to return his affection. He addressed mewith that tenderness and respect which women on earth think can flowfrom nothing but real love; and very often told me that, unless he couldbe so happy as by his assiduity and care to make himself agreeable tome, although he knew my father would eagerly embrace any proposal fromhim, yet he would suffer that last of miseries of never seeing me morerather than owe his own happiness to anything that might be the leastcontradiction to my inclinations. This manner of proceeding hadsomething in it so noble and generous, that by degrees it raised asensation in me which I know not how to describe, nor by what name tocall it: it was nothing like my former passion: for there was noturbulence, no uneasy waking nights attending it, but all I could withhonour grant to oblige him appeared to me to be justly due to his truthand love, and more the effect of gratitude than of any desire of my own.The character I had heard of him from my father at my first returning toEngland, in discoursing of the young nobility, convinced me that if Iwas his wife I should have the perpetual satisfaction of knowing everyaction of his must be approved by all the sensible part of mankind; sothat very soon I began to have no scruple left but that of leaving mylittle scene of quietness, and venturing again into the world. But this,by his continual application and submissive behaviour, by degreesentirely vanished, and I agreed he should take his own time to break itto my father, whose consent he was not long in obtaining; for such amatch was by no means to be refused. There remained nothing now to bedone but to prevail with the earl of Northumberland to comply with whathis son so ardently desired; for which purpose he set out immediatelyfor London, and begged it as the greatest favour that I would accompanymy father, who was also to go thither the week following. I could notrefuse his request, and as soon as we arrived in town he flew to me withthe greatest raptures to inform me his father was so good that, findinghis happiness depended on his answer, he had given him free leave to actin this affair as would best please himself, and that he had now noobstacle to prevent his wishes. It was then the beginning of the winter,and the time for our marriage was fixed for the latter end of March: theconsent of all parties made his access to me very easy, and we conversedtogether both with innocence and pleasure. As his fondness was so greatthat he contrived all the methods possible to keep me continually in hissight, he told me one morning he was commanded by his father to attendhim to court that evening, and begged I would be so good as to meet himthere. I was now so used to act as he would have me that I made nodifficulty of complying with his desire. Two days after this, I was verymuch surprized at perceiving such a melancholy in his countenance, andalteration in his behaviour, as I could no way account for; but, byimportunity, at last I got from him that cardinal Wolsey, for whatreason he knew not, had peremptorily forbid him to think any more of me:and, when he urged that his father was not displeased with it, thecardinal, in his imperious manner, answered him, he should give hisfather such convincing reasons why it would be attended with greatinconveniences, that he was sure he could bring him to be of hisopinion. On which he turned from him, and gave him no opportunity ofreplying. I could not imagine what design the cardinal could have inintermeddling in this match, and I was still more perplexed to find thatmy father treated my lord Percy with much more coldness than usual; hetoo saw it, and we both wondered what could possibly be the cause of allthis. But it was not long before the
mystery was all made clear by myfather, who, sending for me one day into his chamber, let me into asecret which was as little wished for as expected. He began with thesurprizing effects of youth and beauty, and the madness of letting gothose advantages they might procure us till it was too late, when wemight wish in vain to bring them back again. I stood amazed at thisbeginning; he saw my confusion, and bid me sit down and attend to whathe was going to tell me, which was of the greatest consequence; and hehoped I would be wise enough to take his advice, and act as he shouldthink best for my future welfare. He then asked me if I should not bemuch pleased to be a queen? I answered, with the greatest earnestness,that, so far from it, I would not live in a court again to be thegreatest queen in the world; that I had a lover who was both desirousand able to raise my station even beyond my wishes. I found thisdiscourse was very displeasing; my father frowned, and called me aromantic fool, and said if I would hearken to him he could make me aqueen; for the cardinal had told him that the king, from the time he sawme at court the other night, liked me, and intended to get a divorcefrom his wife, and to put me in her place; and ordered him to find somemethod to make me a maid of honour to her present majesty, that in themeantime he might have an opportunity of seeing me. It is impossible toexpress the astonishment these words threw me into; and, notwithstandingthat the moment before, when it appeared at so great a distance, I wasvery sincere in my declaration how much it was against my will to beraised so high, yet now the prospect came nearer, I confess my heartfluttered, and my eyes were dazzled with a view of being seated on athrone. My imagination presented before me all the pomp, power, andgreatness that attend a crown; and I was so perplexed I knew not whatto answer, but remained as silent as if I had lost the use of my speech.My father, who guessed what it was that made me in this condition,proceeded to bring all the arguments he thought most likely to bend meto his will; at last I recovered from this dream of grandeur, and beggedhim, by all the most endearing names I could think of, not to urge medishonourably to forsake the man who I was convinced would raise me toan empire if in his power, and who had enough in his power to give meall I desired. But he was deaf to all I could say, and insisted that bynext week I should prepare myself to go to court: he bid me consider ofit, and not prefer a ridiculous notion of honour to the real interest ofmy whole family; but, above all things, not to disclose what he hadtrusted me with. On which he left me to my own thoughts. When I wasalone I reflected how little real tenderness this behaviour shewed tome, whose happiness he did not at all consult, but only looked on me asa ladder, on which he could climb to the height of his own ambitiousdesires: and when I thought on his fondness for me in my infancy I couldimpute it to nothing but either the liking me as a plaything or thegratification of his vanity in my beauty. But I was too much dividedbetween a crown and my engagement to lord Percy to spend much time inthinking of anything else; and, although my father had positively forbidme, yet, when he came next, I could not help acquainting him with allthat had passed, with the reserve only of the struggle in my own mind onthe first mention of being a queen. I expected he would have receivedthe news with the greatest agonies; but he shewed no vast emotion:however, he could not help turning pale, and, taking me by the hand,looked at me with an air of tenderness, and said, 'If being a queenwould make you happy, and it is in your power to be so, I would not forthe world prevent it, let me suffer what I will.' This amazing greatnessof mind had on me quite the contrary effect from what it ought to havehad; for, instead of increasing my love for him it almost put an end toit, and I began to think, if he could part with me, the matter was notmuch. And I am convinced, when any man gives up the possession of awoman whose consent he has once obtained, let his motive be ever sogenerous, he will disoblige her. I could not help shewing mydissatisfaction, and told him I was very glad this affair sat so easilyon him. He had not power to answer, but was so suddenly struck with thisunexpected ill-natured turn I gave his behaviour, that he stood amazedfor some time, and then bowed and left me. Now I was again left to myown reflections; but to make anything intelligible out of them is quiteimpossible: I wished to be a queen, and wished I might not be one: Iwould have my lord Percy happy without me; and yet I would not have thepower of my charms be so weak that he could bear the thought of lifeafter being disappointed in my love. But the result of all theseconfused thoughts was a resolution to obey my father. I am afraid therewas not much duty in the case, though at that time I was glad to takehold of that small shadow to save me from looking on my own actions inthe true light. When my lover came again I looked on him with thatcoldness that he could not bear, on purpose to rid myself of allimportunity: for since I had resolved to use him ill I regarded him asthe monument of my shame, and his every look appeared to me to upbraidme. My father soon carried me to court; there I had no very hard part toact; for, with the experience I had had of mankind, I could find nogreat difficulty in managing a man who liked me, and for whom I notonly did not care but had an utter aversion to: but this aversion hebelieved to be virtue; for how credulous is a man who has an inclinationto believe! And I took care sometimes to drop words of cottages andlove, and how happy the woman was who fixed her affections on a man insuch a station of life that she might show her love without beingsuspected of hypocrisy or mercenary views. All this was swallowed veryeasily by the amorous king, who pushed on the divorce with the utmostimpetuosity, although the affair lasted a good while, and I remainedmost part of the time behind the curtain. Whenever the king mentioned itto me I used such arguments against it as I thought the most likely tomake him the more eager for it; begging that, unless his conscience wasreally touched, he would not on my account give any grief to hisvirtuous queen; for in being her handmaid I thought myself highlyhonoured; and that I would not only forego a crown, but even give up thepleasure of ever seeing him more, rather than wrong my royal mistress.This way of talking, joined to his eager desire to possess my person,convinced the king so strongly of my exalted merit, that he thought it ameritorious act to displace the woman (whom he could not have so good anopinion of, because he was tired of her), and to put me in her place.After about a year's stay at court, as the king's love to me began to betalked of, it was thought proper to remove me, that there might be noumbrage given to the queen's party. I was forced to comply with this,though greatly against my will; for I was very jealous that absencemight change the king's mind. I retired again with my father to hiscountry-seat, but it had no longer those charms for me which I onceenjoyed there; for my mind was now too much taken up with ambition tomake room for any other thoughts. During my stay here, my royal loveroften sent gentlemen to me with messages and letters, which I alwaysanswered in the manner I thought would best bring about my designs,which were to come back again to court. In all the letters that passedbetween us there was something so kingly and commanding in his, and sodeceitful and submissive in mine, that I sometimes could not helpreflecting on the difference betwixt this correspondence and that withlord Percy; yet I was so pressed forward by the desire of a crown, Icould not think of turning back. In all I wrote I continually praisedhis resolution of letting me be at a distance from him, since at thistime it conduced indeed to my honour; but, what was of ten times moreweight with me, I thought it was necessary for his; and I would soonersuffer anything in the world than be any means of hurt to him, either inhis interest or reputation. I always gave some hints of ill health, withsome reflections how necessary the peace of the mind was to that of thebody. By these means I brought him to recal me again by the mostabsolute command, which I, for a little time, artfully delayed (for Iknew the impatience of his temper would not bear any contradictions),till he made my father in a manner force me to what I most wished, withthe utmost appearance of reluctance on my side. When I had gained thispoint I began to think which way I could separate the king from thequeen, for hitherto they lived in the same house. The lady Mary, thequeen's daughter, being then about sixteen, I sought for emissaries ofher own age that I could confide in, to instil into her minddisrespectfu
l thoughts of her father, and make a jest of the tendernessof his conscience about the divorce. I knew she had naturally strongpassions, and that young people of that age are apt to think those thatpretend to be their friends are really so, and only speak their mindsfreely. I afterwards contrived to have every word she spoke of himcarried to the king, who took it all as I could wish, and fancied thosethings did not come at first from the young lady, but from her mother.He would often talk of it to me, and I agreed with him in hissentiments; but then, as a great proof of my goodness, I alwaysendeavoured to excuse her, by saying a lady so long time used to be aroyal queen might naturally be a little exasperated with those shefancied would throw her from that station she so justly deserved. Bythese sort of plots I found the way to make the king angry with thequeen; for nothing is easier than to make a man angry with a woman hewants to be rid of, and who stands in the way between him and hispleasure; so that now the king, on the pretence of the queen's obstinacyin a point where his conscience was so tenderly concerned, parted withher. Everything was now plain before me; I had nothing farther to do butto let the king alone to his own desires; and I had no reason to fear,since they had carried him so far, but that they would urge him on to doeverything I aimed at. I was created marchioness of Pembroke. Thisdignity sat very easy on me; for the thoughts of a much higher titletook from me all feeling of this; and I looked upon being a marchionessas a trifle, not that I saw the bauble in its true light, but because itfell short of what I had figured to myself I should soon obtain. Theking's desires grew very impatient, and it was not long before I wasprivately married to him. I was no sooner his wife than I found all thequeen come upon me; I felt myself conscious of royalty, and even thefaces of my most intimate acquaintance seemed to me to be quite strange.I hardly knew them: height had turned my head, and I was like a manplaced on a monument, to whose sight all creatures at a great distancebelow him appear like so many little pigmies crawling about on theearth; and the prospect so greatly delighted me, that I did notpresently consider that in both cases descending a few steps erected byhuman hands would place us in the number of those very pigmies whoappeared so despicable. Our marriage was kept private for some time, forit was not thought proper to make it public (the affair of the divorcenot being finished) till the birth of my daughter Elizabeth made itnecessary. But all who saw me knew it; for my manner of speaking andacting was so much changed with my station, that all around me plainlyperceived I was sure I was a queen. While it was a secret I had yetsomething to wish for; I could not be perfectly satisfied till all theworld was acquainted with my fortune: but when my coronation was over,and I was raised to the height of my ambition, instead of finding myselfhappy, I was in reality more miserable than ever; for, besides that theaversion I had naturally to the king was much more difficult todissemble after marriage than before, and grew into a perfectdetestation, my imagination, which had thus warmly pursued a crown, grewcool when I was in the possession of it, and gave me time to reflectwhat mighty matter I had gained by all this bustle; and I often used tothink myself in the case of the fox-hunter, who, when he has toiled andsweated all day in the chase as if some unheard-of blessing was to crownhis success, finds at last all he has got by his labour is a stinkingnauseous animal. But my condition was yet worse than his; for he leavesthe loathsome wretch to be torn by his hounds, whilst I was obliged tofondle mine, and meanly pretend him to be the object of my love. For thewhole time I was in this envied, this exalted state, I led a continuallife of hypocrisy, which I now know nothing on earth can compensate. Ihad no companion but the man I hated. I dared not disclose my sentimentsto any person about me, nor did any one presume to enter into anyfreedom of conversation with me; but all who spoke to me talked to thequeen, and not to me; for they would have said just the same things to adressed-up puppet, if the king had taken a fancy to call it his wife.And as I knew every woman in the court was my enemy, from thinking shehad much more right than I had to the place I filled, I thought myselfas unhappy as if I had been placed in a wild wood, where there was nohuman creature for me to speak to, in a continual fear of leaving anytraces of my footsteps, lest I should be found by some dreadful monster,or stung by snakes and adders; for such are spiteful women to theobjects of their envy. In this worst of all situations I was obliged tohide my melancholy and appear chearful. This threw me into an error theother way, and I sometimes fell into a levity in my behaviour that wasafterwards made use of to my disadvantage. I had a son dead-born, whichI perceived abated something of the king's ardour; for his temper couldnot brook the least disappointment. This gave me no uneasiness; for, notconsidering the consequences, I could not help being best pleased when Ihad least of his company. Afterwards I found he had cast his eyes on oneof my maids of honour; and, whether it was owing to any art of hers, oronly to the king's violent passions, I was in the end used even worsethan my former mistress had been by my means. The decay of the king'saffection was presently seen by all those court-sycophants whocontinually watch the motions of royal eyes; and the moment they foundthey could be heard against me they turned my most innocent actions andwords, nay, even my very looks, into proofs of the blackest crimes. Theking, who was impatient to enjoy his new love, lent a willing ear to allmy accusers, who found ways of making him jealous that I was false tohis bed. He would not so easily have believed anything against mebefore, but he was now glad to flatter himself that he had found areason to do just what he had resolved upon without a reason; and onsome slight pretences and hearsay evidence I was sent to the Tower,where the lady who was my greatest enemy was appointed to watch me andlie in the same chamber with me. This was really as bad a punishment asmy death, for she insulted me with those keen reproaches and spitefulwitticisms, which threw me into such vapours and violent fits that Iknew not what I uttered in this condition. She pretended I had confessedtalking ridiculous stuff with a set of low fellows whom I had hardlyever taken notice of, as could have imposed on none but such as wereresolved to believe. I was brought to my trial, and, to blacken me themore, accused of conversing criminally with my own brother, whom indeedI loved extremely well, but never looked on him in any other light thanas my friend. However, I was condemned to be beheaded, or burnt, as theking pleased; and he was graciously pleased, from the great remains ofhis love, to chuse the mildest sentence. I was much less shocked at thismanner of ending my life than I should have been in any other station:but I had had so little enjoyment from the time I had been a queen, thatdeath was the less dreadful to me. The chief things that lay on myconscience were the arts I made use of to induce the king to part withthe queen, my ill usage of lady Mary, and my jilting lord Percy.However, I endeavoured to calm my mind as well as I could, and hopedthese crimes would be forgiven me; for in other respects I had led avery innocent life, and always did all the good-natured actions I foundany opportunity of doing. From the time I had it in my power, I gave agreat deal of money amongst the poor; I prayed very devoutly, and wentto my execution very composedly. Thus I lost my life at the age oftwenty-nine, in which short time I believe I went through more varietyof scenes than many people who live to be very old. I had lived in acourt, where I spent my time in coquetry and gaiety; I had experiencedwhat it was to have one of those violent passions which makes the mindall turbulence and anxiety; I had had a lover whom I esteemed andvalued, and at the latter part of my life I was raised to a station ashigh as the vainest woman could wish. But in all these various changes Inever enjoyed any real satisfaction, unless in the little time I livedretired in the country free from all noise and hurry, and while I wasconscious I was the object of the love and esteem of a man of sense andhonour."
On the conclusion of this history Minos paused for a small time, andthen ordered the gate to be thrown open for Anna Boleyn's admittance onthe consideration that whoever had suffered being the queen for fouryears, and been sensible during all that time of the real misery whichattends that exalted station, ought to be forgiven whatever she had doneto obtain it.[K]
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THE JOURNAL
OF A
VOYAGE TO LISBON.