INTRODUCTION.
In the beginning of August, 1753, when I had taken the duke ofPortland's medicine, as it is called, near a year, the effects of whichhad been the carrying off the symptoms of a lingering imperfect gout, Iwas persuaded by Mr Ranby, the king's premier serjeant-surgeon, and theablest advice, I believe, in all branches of the physical profession, togo immediately to Bath. I accordingly writ that very night to MrsBowden, who, by the next post, informed me she had taken me a lodgingfor a month certain.
Within a few days after this, whilst I was preparing for my journey, andwhen I was almost fatigued to death with several long examinations,relating to five different murders, all committed within the space of aweek, by different gangs of street-robbers, I received a message fromhis grace the duke of Newcastle, by Mr Carrington, the king's messenger,to attend his grace the next morning, in Lincoln's-inn-fields, upon somebusiness of importance; but I excused myself from complying with themessage, as, besides being lame, I was very ill with the great fatiguesI had lately undergone added to my distemper.
His grace, however, sent Mr Carrington, the very next morning, withanother summons; with which, though in the utmost distress, Iimmediately complied; but the duke, happening, unfortunately for me, tobe then particularly engaged, after I had waited some time, sent agentleman to discourse with me on the best plan which could be inventedfor putting an immediate end to those murders and robberies which wereevery day committed in the streets; upon which I promised to transmit myopinion, in writing, to his grace, who, as the gentleman informed me,intended to lay it before the privy council.
Though this visit cost me a severe cold, I, notwithstanding, set myselfdown to work; and in about four days sent the duke as regular a plan asI could form, with all the reasons and arguments I could bring tosupport it, drawn out in several sheets of paper; and soon received amessage from the duke by Mr Carrington, acquainting me that my plan washighly approved of, and that all the terms of it would be complied with.
The principal and most material of those terms was the immediatelydepositing six hundred pounds in my hands; at which small charge Iundertook to demolish the then reigning gangs, and to put the civilpolicy into such order, that no such gangs should ever be able, for thefuture, to form themselves into bodies, or at least to remain any timeformidable to the public.
I had delayed my Bath journey for some time, contrary to the repeatedadvice of my physical acquaintance, and to the ardent desire of mywarmest friends, though my distemper was now turned to a deep jaundice;in which case the Bath waters are generally reputed to be almostinfallible. But I had the most eager desire of demolishing this gang ofvillains and cut-throats, which I was sure of accomplishing the momentI was enabled to pay a fellow who had undertaken, for a small sum, tobetray them into the hands of a set of thief-takers whom I had enlistedinto the service, all men of known and approved fidelity andintrepidity.
After some weeks the money was paid at the treasury, and within a fewdays after two hundred pounds of it had come to my hands, the whole gangof cut-throats was entirely dispersed, seven of them were in actualcustody, and the rest driven, some out of the town, and others out ofthe kingdom.
Though my health was now reduced to the last extremity, I continued toact with the utmost vigour against these villains; in examining whom,and in taking the depositions against them, I have often spent wholedays, nay, sometimes whole nights, especially when there was anydifficulty in procuring sufficient evidence to convict them; which is avery common case in street-robberies, even when the guilt of the partyis sufficiently apparent to satisfy the most tender conscience. Butcourts of justice know nothing of a cause more than what is told them onoath by a witness; and the most flagitious villain upon earth is triedin the same manner as a man of the best character who is accused of thesame crime.
Meanwhile, amidst all my fatigues and distresses, I had the satisfactionto find my endeavours had been attended with such success that thishellish society were almost utterly extirpated, and that, instead ofreading of murders and street-robberies in the news almost everymorning, there was, in the remaining part of the month of November, andin all December, not only no such thing as a murder, but not even astreet-robbery committed. Some such, indeed, were mentioned in thepublic papers; but they were all found, on the strictest enquiry, to befalse.
In this entire freedom from street-robberies, during the dark months, noman will, I believe, scruple to acknowledge that the winter of 1753stands unrivaled, during a course of many years; and this may possiblyappear the more extraordinary to those who recollect the outrages withwhich it began.
Having thus fully accomplished my undertaking, I went into the country,in a very weak and deplorable condition, with no fewer or less diseasesthan a jaundice, a dropsy, and an asthma, altogether uniting theirforces in the destruction of a body so entirely emaciated that it hadlost all its muscular flesh.
Mine was now no longer what was called a Bath case; nor, if it had beenso, had I strength remaining sufficient to go thither, a ride of sixmiles only being attended with an intolerable fatigue. I now dischargedmy lodgings at Bath, which I had hitherto kept. I began in earnest tolook on my case as desperate, and I had vanity enough to rank myselfwith those heroes who, of old times, became voluntary sacrifices to thegood of the public.
But, lest the reader should be too eager to catch at the word _vanity_,and should be unwilling to indulge me with so sublime a gratification,for I think he is not too apt to gratify me, I will take my key a pitchlower, and will frankly own that I had a stronger motive than the loveof the public to push me on: I will therefore confess to him that myprivate affairs at the beginning of the winter had but a gloomy aspect;for I had not plundered the public or the poor of those sums which men,who are always ready to plunder both as much as they can, have beenpleased to suspect me of taking: on the contrary, by composing, insteadof inflaming, the quarrels of porters and beggars (which I blush when Isay hath not been universally practised), and by refusing to take ashilling from a man who most undoubtedly would not have had anotherleft, I had reduced an income of about five hundred pounds[M] a-year ofthe dirtiest money upon earth to little more than three hundred pounds;a considerable proportion of which remained with my clerk; and, indeed,if the whole had done so, as it ought, he would be but ill paid forsitting almost sixteen hours in the twenty-four in the most unwholesome,as well as nauseous air in the universe, and which hath in his casecorrupted a good constitution without contaminating his morals.
But, not to trouble the reader with anecdotes, contrary to my own rulelaid down in my preface, I assure him I thought my family was veryslenderly provided for; and that my health began to decline so fast thatI had very little more of life left to accomplish what I had thought oftoo late. I rejoiced therefore greatly in seeing an opportunity, as Iapprehended, of gaining such merit in the eye of the public, that, if mylife were the sacrifice to it, my friends might think they did a popularact in putting my family at least beyond the reach of necessity, which Imyself began to despair of doing. And though I disclaim all pretence tothat Spartan or Roman patriotism which loved the public so well that itwas always ready to become a voluntary sacrifice to the public good, Ido solemnly declare I have that love for my family.
After this confession therefore, that the public was not the principaldeity to which my life was offered a sacrifice, and when it is fartherconsidered what a poor sacrifice this was, being indeed no other thanthe giving up what I saw little likelihood of being able to hold muchlonger, and which, upon the terms I held it, nothing but the weakness ofhuman nature could represent to me as worth holding at all; the worldmay, I believe, without envy, allow me all the praise to which I haveany title.
My aim, in fact, was not praise, which is the last gift they care tobestow; at least, this was not my aim as an end, but rather as a meansof purchasing some moderate provision for my family, which, though itshould exceed my merit, must fall infinitely short of my service, if Isucceeded in my attempt.
; To say the truth, the public never act more wisely than when they actmost liberally in the distribution of their rewards; and here the goodthey receive is often more to be considered than the motive from whichthey receive it. Example alone is the end of all public punishments andrewards. Laws never inflict disgrace in resentment, nor confer honourfrom gratitude. "For it is very hard, my lord," said a convicted felonat the bar to the late excellent judge Burnet, "to hang a poor man forstealing a horse." "You are not to be hanged, sir," answered myever-honoured and beloved friend, "for stealing a horse, but you are tobe hanged that horses may not be stolen." In like manner it might havebeen said to the late duke of Marlborough, when the parliament was sodeservedly liberal to him, after the battle of Blenheim, "You receivenot these honours and bounties on account of a victory past, but thatother victories may be obtained."
I was now, in the opinion of all men, dying of a complication ofdisorders; and, were I desirous of playing the advocate, I have anoccasion fair enough; but I disdain such an attempt. I relate factsplainly and simply as they are; and let the world draw from them whatconclusions they please, taking with them the following facts for theirinstruction: the one is, that the proclamation offering one hundredpounds for the apprehending felons for certain felonies committed incertain places, which I prevented from being revived, had formerly costthe government several thousand pounds within a single year. Secondly,that all such proclamations, instead of curing the evil, had actuallyencreased it; had multiplied the number of robberies; had propagated theworst and wickedest of perjuries; had laid snares for youth andignorance, which, by the temptation of these rewards, had been sometimesdrawn into guilt; and sometimes, which cannot be thought on without thehighest horror, had destroyed them without it. Thirdly, that my plan hadnot put the government to more than three hundred pound expence, and hadproduced none of the ill consequences above mentioned; but, lastly, hadactually suppressed the evil for a time, and had plainly pointed out themeans of suppressing it for ever. This I would myself have undertaken,had my health permitted, at the annual expense of the above-mentionedsum.
After having stood the terrible six weeks which succeeded lastChristmas, and put a lucky end, if they had known their own interests,to such numbers of aged and infirm valetudinarians, who might havegasped through two or three mild winters more, I returned to town inFebruary, in a condition less despaired of by myself than by any of myfriends. I now became the patient of Dr Ward, who wished I had taken hisadvice earlier.
By his advice I was tapped, and fourteen quarts of water drawn from mybelly. The sudden relaxation which this caused, added to my enervate,emaciated habit of body, so weakened me that within two days I wasthought to be falling into the agonies of death.
I was at the worst on that memorable day when the public lost Mr Pelham.From that day I began slowly, as it were, to draw my feet out of thegrave; till in two months' time I had again acquired some little degreeof strength, but was again full of water.
During this whole time I took Mr Ward's medicines, which had seldom anyperceptible operation. Those in particular of the diaphoretic kind, theworking of which is thought to require a great strength of constitutionto support, had so little effect on me, that Mr Ward declared it was asvain to attempt sweating me as a deal board.
In this situation I was tapped a second time. I had one quart of waterless taken from me now than before; but I bore all the consequences ofthe operation much better. This I attributed greatly to a dose oflaudanum prescribed by my surgeon. It first gave me the most deliciousflow of spirits, and afterwards as comfortable a nap.
The month of May, which was now begun, it seemed reasonable to expectwould introduce the spring, and drive off that winter which yetmaintained its footing on the stage. I resolved therefore to visit alittle house of mine in the country, which stands at Ealing, in thecounty of Middlesex, in the best air, I believe, in the whole kingdom,and far superior to that of Kensington Gravel-pits; for the gravel ishere much wider and deeper, the place higher and more open towards thesouth, whilst it is guarded from the north wind by a ridge of hills, andfrom the smells and smoak of London by its distance; which last is notthe fate of Kensington, when the wind blows from any corner of the east.
Obligations to Mr Ward I shall always confess; for I am convinced thathe omitted no care in endeavouring to serve me, without any expectationor desire of fee or reward.
The powers of Mr Ward's remedies want indeed no unfair puffs of mine togive them credit; and though this distemper of the dropsy stands, Ibelieve, first in the list of those over which he is always certain oftriumphing, yet, possibly, there might be something particular in mycase capable of eluding that radical force which had healed so manythousands. The same distemper, in different constitutions, may possiblybe attended with such different symptoms, that to find an infalliblenostrum for the curing any one distemper in every patient may be almostas difficult as to find a panacea for the cure of all.
But even such a panacea one of the greatest scholars and best of men didlately apprehend he had discovered. It is true, indeed, he was nophysician; that is, he had not by the forms of his education acquired aright of applying his skill in the art of physic to his own privateadvantage; and yet, perhaps, it may be truly asserted that no othermodern hath contributed so much to make his physical skill useful to thepublic; at least, that none hath undergone the pains of communicatingthis discovery in writing to the world. The reader, I think, will scarceneed to be informed that the writer I mean is the late bishop of Cloyne,in Ireland, and the discovery that of the virtues of tar-water.
I then happened to recollect, upon a hint given me by the inimitable andshamefully-distressed author of the Female Quixote, that I had manyyears before, from curiosity only, taken a cursory view of bishopBerkeley's treatise on the virtues of tar-water, which I had formerlyobserved he strongly contends to be that real panacea which Sydenhamsupposes to have an existence in nature, though it yet remainsundiscovered, and perhaps will always remain so.
Upon the reperusal of this book I found the bishop only asserting hisopinion that tar-water might be useful in the dropsy, since he had knownit to have a surprising success in the cure of a most stubborn anasarca,which is indeed no other than, as the word implies, the dropsy of theflesh; and this was, at that time, a large part of my complaint.
After a short trial, therefore, of a milk diet, which I presently founddid not suit with my case, I betook myself to the bishop's prescription,and dosed myself every morning and evening with half a pint oftar-water.
It was no more than three weeks since my last tapping, and my belly andlimbs were distended with water. This did not give me the worse opinionof tar-water; for I never supposed there could be any such virtue intar-water as immediately to carry off a quantity of water alreadycollected. For my delivery from this I well knew I must be againobliged to the trochar; and that if the tar-water did me any good at allit must be only by the slowest degrees; and that if it should ever getthe better of my distemper it must be by the tedious operation ofundermining, and not by a sudden attack and storm.
Some visible effects, however, and far beyond what my most sanguinehopes could with any modesty expect, I very soon experienced; thetar-water having, from the very first, lessened my illness, increased myappetite, and added, though in a very slow proportion, to my bodilystrength.
But if my strength had increased a little my water daily increased muchmore. So that, by the end of May, my belly became again ripe for thetrochar, and I was a third time tapped; upon which, two very favourablesymptoms appeared. I had three quarts of water taken from me less thanhad been taken the last time; and I bore the relaxation with much less(indeed with scarce any) faintness.
Those of my physical friends on whose judgment I chiefly depended seemedto think my only chance of life consisted in having the whole summerbefore me; in which I might hope to gather sufficient strength toencounter the inclemencies of the ensuing winter. But this chance begandaily to lessen. I saw the summer mouldering aw
ay, or rather, indeed,the year passing away without intending to bring on any summer at all.In the whole month of May the sun scarce appeared three times. So thatthe early fruits came to the fulness of their growth, and to someappearance of ripeness, without acquiring any real maturity; havingwanted the heat of the sun to soften and meliorate their juices. I sawthe dropsy gaining rather than losing ground; the distance growing stillshorter between the tappings. I saw the asthma likewise beginning againto become more troublesome. I saw the midsummer quarter drawing towardsa close. So that I conceived, if the Michaelmas quarter should steal offin the same manner, as it was, in my opinion, very much to beapprehended it would, I should be delivered up to the attacks of winterbefore I recruited my forces, so as to be anywise able to withstandthem.
I now began to recall an intention, which from the first dawnings of myrecovery I had conceived, of removing to a warmer climate; and, findingthis to be approved of by a very eminent physician, I resolved to put itinto immediate execution.
Aix in Provence was the place first thought on; but the difficulties ofgetting thither were insuperable. The journey by land, beside theexpence of it, was infinitely too long and fatiguing; and I could hearof no ship that was likely to set out from London, within any reasonabletime, for Marseilles, or any other port in that part of theMediterranean.
Lisbon was presently fixed on in its room. The air here, as it was nearfour degrees to the south of Aix, must be more mild and warm, and thewinter shorter and less piercing.
It was not difficult to find a ship bound to a place with which we carryon so immense a trade. Accordingly, my brother soon informed me of theexcellent accommodations for passengers which were to be found on boarda ship that was obliged to sail for Lisbon in three days.
I eagerly embraced the offer, notwithstanding the shortness of the time;and, having given my brother full power to contract for our passage, Ibegan to prepare my family for the voyage with the utmost expedition.
But our great haste was needless; for the captain having twice put offhis sailing, I at length invited him to dinner with me at Fordhook, afull week after the time on which he had declared, and that with manyasseverations, he must and would weigh anchor.
He dined with me according to his appointment; and when all matters weresettled between us, left me with positive orders to be on board theWednesday following, when he declared he would fall down the river toGravesend, and would not stay a moment for the greatest man in theworld.
He advised me to go to Gravesend by land, and there wait the arrival ofhis ship, assigning many reasons for this, every one of which was, as Iwell remember, among those that had before determined me to go on boardnear the Tower.
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THE VOYAGE.
_Wednesday, June 26, 1754._--On this day the most melancholy sun I hadever beheld arose, and found me awake at my house at Fordhook. By thelight of this sun I was, in my own opinion, last to behold and takeleave of some of those creatures on whom I doated with a mother-likefondness, guided by nature and passion, and uncured and unhardened byall the doctrine of that philosophical school where I had learned tobear pains and to despise death.
In this situation, as I could not conquer Nature, I submitted entirelyto her, and she made as great a fool of me as she had ever done of anywoman whatsoever; under pretence of giving me leave to enjoy, she drewme in to suffer, the company of my little ones during eight hours; and Idoubt not whether, in that time, I did not undergo more than in all mydistemper.
At twelve precisely my coach was at the door, which was no sooner toldme than I kissed my children round, and went into it with some littleresolution. My wife, who behaved more like a heroine and philosopher,though at the same time the tenderest mother in the world, and my eldestdaughter, followed me; some friends went with us, and others here tooktheir leave; and I heard my behaviour applauded, with many murmurs andpraises to which I well knew I had no title; as all other suchphilosophers may, if they have any modesty, confess on the likeoccasions.
In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe, and immediately went on board,and were to have sailed the next morning; but, as this was the king'sproclamation-day, and consequently a holiday at the custom-house, thecaptain could not clear his vessel till the Thursday; for these holidaysare as strictly observed as those in the popish calendar, and are almostas numerous. I might add that both are opposite to the genius of trade,and consequently _contra bonum publicum_.
To go on board the ship it was necessary first to go into a boat; amatter of no small difficulty, as I had no use of my limbs, and was tobe carried by men who, though sufficiently strong for their burthen,were, like Archimedes, puzzled to find a steady footing. Of this, as fewof my readers have not gone into wherries on the Thames, they willeasily be able to form to themselves an idea. However, by the assistanceof my friend Mr Welch, whom I never think or speak of but with love andesteem, I conquered this difficulty, as I did afterwards that ofascending the ship, into which I was hoisted with more ease by a chairlifted with pulleys. I was soon seated in a great chair in the cabin, torefresh myself after a fatigue which had been more intolerable, in aquarter of a mile's passage from my coach to the ship, than I had beforeundergone in a land-journey of twelve miles, which I had travelled withthe utmost expedition.
This latter fatigue was, perhaps, somewhat heightened by an indignationwhich I could not prevent arising in my mind. I think, upon my entranceinto the boat, I presented a spectacle of the highest horror. The totalloss of limbs was apparent to all who saw me, and my face containedmarks of a most diseased state, if not of death itself. Indeed, soghastly was my countenance, that timorous women with child had abstainedfrom my house, for fear of the ill consequences of looking at me. Inthis condition I ran the gauntlope (so I think I may justly call it)through rows of sailors and watermen, few of whom failed of paying theircompliments to me by all manner of insults and jests on my misery. Noman who knew me will think I conceived any personal resentment at thisbehaviour; but it was a lively picture of that cruelty and inhumanity inthe nature of men which I have often contemplated with concern, andwhich leads the mind into a train of very uncomfortable and melancholythoughts. It may be said that this barbarous custom is peculiar to theEnglish, and of them only to the lowest degree; that it is anexcrescence of an uncontrouled licentiousness mistaken for liberty, andnever shews itself in men who are polished and refined in such manner ashuman nature requires to produce that perfection of which it issusceptible, and to purge away that malevolence of disposition of which,at our birth, we partake in common with the savage creation.
This may be said, and this is all that can be said; and it is, I amafraid, but little satisfactory to account for the inhumanity of thosewho, while they boast of being made after God's own image, seem to bearin their minds a resemblance of the vilest species of brutes; or rather,indeed, of our idea of devils; for I don't know that any brutes can betaxed with such malevolence.
A surloin of beef was now placed on the table, for which, though littlebetter than carrion, as much was charged by the master of the littlepaltry ale-house who dressed it as would have been demanded for all theelegance of the King's Arms, or any other polite tavern or eating-house!for, indeed, the difference between the best house and the worst is,that at the former you pay largely for luxury, at the latter fornothing.
_Thursday, June 27._--This morning the captain, who lay on shore at hisown house, paid us a visit in the cabin, and behaved like an angrybashaw, declaring that, had he known we were not to be pleased, he wouldnot have carried us for five hundred pounds. He added many asseverationsthat he was a gentleman, and despised money; not forgetting severalhints of the presents which had been made him for his cabin, of twenty,thirty, and forty guineas, by several gentlemen, over and above the sumfor which they had contracted. This behaviour greatly surprised me, as Iknew not how to account for it, nothing having happened since we partedfrom the captain the evening before in perfect good-humour; and all thisbroke forth on the first moment of
his arrival this morning. He did not,however, suffer my amazement to have any long continuance before heclearly shewed me that all this was meant only as an apology tointroduce another procrastination (being the fifth) of his weighinganchor, which was now postponed till Saturday, for such was his will andpleasure.
Besides the disagreeable situation in which we then lay, in the confinesof Wapping and Rotherhithe, tasting a delicious mixture of the air ofboth these sweet places, and enjoying the concord of sweet sounds ofseamen, watermen, fish-women, oyster-women, and of all the vociferousinhabitants of both shores, composing altogether a greater variety ofharmony than Hogarth's imagination hath brought together in that printof his, which is enough to make a man deaf to look at--I had a moreurgent cause to press our departure, which was, that the dropsy, forwhich I had undergone three tappings, seemed to threaten me with afourth discharge before I should reach Lisbon, and when I should havenobody on board capable of performing the operation; but I was obligedto hearken to the voice of reason, if I may use the captain's own words,and to rest myself contented. Indeed, there was no alternative within myreach but what would have cost me much too dear.
There are many evils in society from which people of the highest rankare so entirely exempt, that they have not the least knowledge or ideaof them; nor indeed of the characters which are formed by them. Such,for instance, is the conveyance of goods and passengers from one placeto another. Now there is no such thing as any kind of knowledgecontemptible in itself; and, as the particular knowledge I here mean isentirely necessary to the well understanding and well enjoying thisjournal; and, lastly, as in this case the most ignorant will be thosevery readers whose amusement we chiefly consult, and to whom we wish tobe supposed principally to write, we will here enter somewhat largelyinto the discussion of this matter; the rather, for that no antient ormodern author (if we can trust the catalogue of doctor Mead's library)hath ever undertaken it, but that it seems (in the style of Don Quixote)a task reserved for my pen alone.
When I first conceived this intention I began to entertain thoughts ofenquiring into the antiquity of travelling; and, as many persons haveperformed in this way (I mean have travelled) at the expence of thepublic, I flattered myself that the spirit of improving arts andsciences, and of advancing useful and substantial learning, which soeminently distinguishes this age, and hath given rise to morespeculative societies in Europe than I at present can recollect thenames of--perhaps, indeed, than I or any other, besides their very nearneighbours, ever heard mentioned--would assist in promoting so curious awork; a work begun with the same views, calculated for the samepurposes, and fitted for the same uses, with the labours which thoseright honourable societies have so chearfully undertaken themselves, andencouraged in others; sometimes with the highest honours, even withadmission into their colleges, and with inrolment among their members.
From these societies I promised myself all assistance in their power,particularly the communication of such valuable manuscripts and recordsas they must be supposed to have collected from those obscure ages ofantiquity when history yields us such imperfect accounts of theresidence, and much more imperfect of the travels, of the human race;unless, perhaps, as a curious and learned member of the young Society ofAntiquarians is said to have hinted his conjectures, that theirresidence and their travels were one and the same; and this discovery(for such it seems to be) he is said to have owed to the lighting byaccident on a book, which we shall have occasion to mention presently,the contents of which were then little known to the society.
The king of Prussia, moreover, who, from a degree of benevolence andtaste which in either case is a rare production in so northern aclimate, is the great encourager of art and science, I was well assuredwould promote so useful a design, and order his archives to be searchedon my behalf.
But after well weighing all these advantages, and much meditation on theorder of my work, my whole design was subverted in a moment by hearingof the discovery just mentioned to have been made by the youngantiquarian, who, from the most antient record in the world (though Idon't find the society are all agreed on this point), one long precedingthe date of the earliest modern collections, either of books orbutterflies, none of which pretend to go beyond the flood, shews us thatthe first man was a traveller, and that he and his family were scarcesettled in Paradise before they disliked their own home, and becamepassengers to another place. Hence it appears that the humour oftravelling is as old as the human race, and that it was their curse fromthe beginning.
By this discovery my plan became much shortened, and I found it onlynecessary to treat of the conveyance of goods and passengers from placeto place; which, not being universally known, seemed proper to beexplained before we examined into its original. There are indeed twodifferent ways of tracing all things used by the historian and theantiquary; these are upwards and downwards. The former shews you howthings are, and leaves to others to discover when they began to be so.The latter shews you how things were, and leaves their present existenceto be examined by others. Hence the former is more useful, the lattermore curious. The former receives the thanks of mankind; the latter ofthat valuable part, the virtuosi.
In explaining, therefore, this mystery of carrying goods and passengersfrom one place to another, hitherto so profound a secret to the verybest of our readers, we shall pursue the historical method, andendeavour to shew by what means it is at present performed, referringthe more curious enquiry either to some other pen or to some otheropportunity.
Now there are two general ways of performing (if God permit) thisconveyance, viz., by land and water, both of which have much variety;that by land being performed in different vehicles, such as coaches,caravans, waggons, &c.; and that by water in ships, barges, and boats,of various sizes and denominations. But, as all these methods ofconveyance are formed on the same principles, they agree so welltogether, that it is fully sufficient to comprehend them all in thegeneral view, without descending to such minute particulars as woulddistinguish one method from another.
Common to all of these is one general principle, that, as the goods tobe conveyed are usually the larger, so they are to be chiefly consideredin the conveyance; the owner being indeed little more than an appendageto his trunk, or box, or bale, or at best a small part of his ownbaggage, very little care is to be taken in stowing or packing them upwith convenience to himself; for the conveyance is not of passengers andgoods, but of goods and passengers.
Secondly, from this conveyance arises a new kind of relation, or ratherof subjection, in the society, by which the passenger becomes bound inallegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is indeed only temporary andlocal, but the most absolute during its continuance of any known inGreat Britain, and, to say truth, scarce consistent with the libertiesof a free people, nor could it be reconciled with them, did it not movedownwards; a circumstance universally apprehended to be incompatible toall kinds of slavery; for Aristotle in his Politicks hath provedabundantly to my satisfaction that no men are born to be slaves, exceptbarbarians; and these only to such as are not themselves barbarians; andindeed Mr Montesquieu hath carried it very little farther in the case ofthe Africans; the real truth being that no man is born to be a slave,unless to him who is able to make him so.
Thirdly, this subjection is absolute, and consists of a perfectresignation both of body and soul to the disposal of another; afterwhich resignation, during a certain time, his subject retains no morepower over his own will than an Asiatic slave, or an English wife, bythe laws of both countries, and by the customs of one of them. If Ishould mention the instance of a stage-coachman, many of my readerswould recognise the truth of what I have here observed; all, indeed,that ever have been under the dominion of that tyrant, who in this freecountry is as absolute as a Turkish bashaw. In two particulars only hispower is defective; he cannot press you into his service, and if youenter yourself at one place, on condition of being discharged at acertain time at another, he is obliged to perform his agreement, if Godpermit, but all the inter
mediate time you are absolutely under hisgovernment; he carries you how he will, when he will, and whither hewill, provided it be not much out of the road; you have nothing to eator to drink, but what, and when, and where he pleases. Nay, you cannotsleep unless he pleases you should; for he will order you sometimes outof bed at midnight and hurry you away at a moment's warning: indeed, ifyou can sleep in his vehicle he cannot prevent it; nay, indeed, to givehim his due, this he is ordinarily disposed to encourage: for theearlier he forces you to rise in the morning, the more time he will giveyou in the heat of the day, sometimes even six hours at an ale-house, orat their doors, where he always gives you the same indulgence which heallows himself; and for this he is generally very moderate in hisdemands. I have known a whole bundle of passengers charged no more thanhalf-a-crown for being suffered to remain quiet at an ale-house door forabove a whole hour, and that even in the hottest day in summer.
But as this kind of tyranny, though it hath escaped our politicalwriters, hath been I think touched by our dramatic, and is more triteamong the generality of readers; and as this and all other kinds of suchsubjection are alike unknown to my friends, I will quit the passengersby land, and treat of those who travel by water; for whatever is said onthis subject is applicable to both alike, and we may bring them togetheras closely as they are brought in the liturgy, when they are recommendedto the prayers of all Christian congregations; and (which I have oftenthought very remarkable) where they are joined with other miserablewretches, such as women in labour, people in sickness, infants justborn, prisoners and captives.
Goods and passengers are conveyed by water in divers vehicles, theprincipal of which being a ship, it shall suffice to mention that alone.Here the tyrant doth not derive his title, as the stage-coachman doth,from the vehicle itself in which he stows his goods and passengers, buthe is called the captain--a word of such various use and uncertainsignification, that it seems very difficult to fix any positive idea toit: if, indeed, there be any general meaning which may comprehend allits different uses, that of the head or chief of any body of men seemsto be most capable of this comprehension; for whether they be a companyof soldiers, a crew of sailors, or a gang of rogues, he who is at thehead of them is always stiled the captain.
The particular tyrant whose fortune it was to stow us aboard laid afarther claim to this appellation than the bare command of a vehicle ofconveyance. He had been the captain of a privateer, which he chose tocall being in the king's service, and thence derived a right of hoistingthe military ornament of a cockade over the button of his hat. Helikewise wore a sword of no ordinary length by his side, with which heswaggered in his cabin, among the wretches his passengers, whom he hadstowed in cupboards on each side. He was a person of a very singularcharacter. He had taken it into his head that he was a gentleman, fromthose very reasons that proved he was not one; and to shew himself afine gentleman, by a behaviour which seemed to insinuate he had neverseen one. He was, moreover, a man of gallantry; at the age of seventy hehad the finicalness of Sir Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly;and, while he was deaf himself, had a voice capable of deafening allothers.
Now, as I saw myself in danger by the delays of the captain, who was, inreality, waiting for more freight, and as the wind had been long nested,as it were, in the south-west, where it constantly blew hurricanes, Ibegan with great reason to apprehend that our voyage might be long, andthat my belly, which began already to be much extended, would requirethe water to be let out at a time when no assistance was at hand;though, indeed, the captain comforted me with assurances that he had apretty young fellow on board who acted as his surgeon, as I found helikewise did as steward, cook, butler, sailor. In short, he had as manyoffices as Scrub in the play, and went through them all with greatdexterity; this of surgeon was, perhaps, the only one in which his skillwas somewhat deficient, at least that branch of tapping for the dropsy;for he very ingenuously and modestly confessed he had never seen theoperation performed, nor was possessed of that chirurgical instrumentwith which it is performed.
_Friday, June 28._--By way of prevention, therefore, I this day sent formy friend Mr Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomist of Covent-garden;and, though my belly was not yet very full and tight, let out ten quartsof water; the young sea-surgeon attended the operation, not as aperformer, but as a student.
I was now eased of the greatest apprehension which I had from the lengthof the passage; and I told the captain I was become indifferent as tothe time of his sailing. He expressed much satisfaction in thisdeclaration, and at hearing from me that I found myself, since mytapping, much lighter and better. In this, I believe, he was sincere;for he was, as we shall have occasion to observe more than once, a verygood-natured man; and, as he was a very brave one too, I found that theheroic constancy with which I had borne an operation that is attendedwith scarce any degree of pain had not a little raised me in his esteem.That he might adhere, therefore, in the most religious and rigorousmanner to his word, when he had no longer any temptation from interestto break it, as he had no longer any hopes of more goods or passengers,he ordered his ship to fall down to Gravesend on Sunday morning, andthere to wait his arrival.
_Sunday, June 30._--Nothing worth notice passed till that morning, whenmy poor wife, after passing a night in the utmost torments of thetoothache, resolved to have it drawn. I despatched therefore a servantinto Wapping to bring in haste the best tooth-drawer he could find. Hesoon found out a female of great eminence in the art; but when hebrought her to the boat, at the water-side, they were informed that theship was gone; for indeed she had set out a few minutes after hisquitting her; nor did the pilot, who well knew the errand on which I hadsent my servant, think fit to wait a moment for his return, or to giveme any notice of his setting out, though I had very patiently attendedthe delays of the captain four days, after many solemn promises ofweighing anchor every one of the three last.
But of all the petty bashaws or turbulent tyrants I ever beheld, thissour-faced pilot was the worst tempered; for, during the time that hehad the guidance of the ship, which was till we arrived in the Downs, hecomplied with no one's desires, nor did he give a civil word, or indeeda civil look, to any on board.
The tooth-drawer, who, as I said before, was one of great eminence amongher neighbours, refused to follow the ship; so that my man made himselfthe best of his way, and with some difficulty came up with us before wewere got under full sail; for after that, as we had both wind and tidewith us, he would have found it impossible to overtake the ship till shewas come to an anchor at Gravesend.
The morning was fair and bright, and we had a passage thither, I think,as pleasant as can be conceived: for, take it with all its advantages,particularly the number of fine ships you are always sure of seeing bythe way, there is nothing to equal it in all the rivers of the world.The yards of Deptford and of Woolwich are noble sights, and give us ajust idea of the great perfection to which we are arrived in buildingthose floating castles, and the figure which we may always make inEurope among the other maritime powers. That of Woolwich, at least, verystrongly imprinted this idea on my mind; for there was now on the stocksthere the Royal Anne, supposed to be the largest ship ever built, andwhich contains ten carriage-guns more than had ever yet equipped afirst-rate.
It is true, perhaps, that there is more of ostentation than of realutility in ships of this vast and unwieldy burthen, which are rarelycapable of acting against an enemy; but if the building such contributesto preserve, among other nations, the notion of the British superiorityin naval affairs, the expence, though very great, is well incurred, andthe ostentation is laudable and truly political. Indeed, I should besorry to allow that Holland, France, or Spain, possessed a vessel largerand more beautiful than the largest and most beautiful of ours; for thishonour I would always administer to the pride of our sailors, who shouldchallenge it from all their neighbours with truth and success. And sureI am that not our honest tars alone, but every inhabitant of thisisland, may exult in the comparison, when he considers the
king of GreatBritain as a maritime prince, in opposition to any other prince inEurope; but I am not so certain that the same idea of superiority willresult from comparing our land forces with those of many other crownedheads. In numbers they all far exceed us, and in the goodness andsplendour of their troops many nations, particularly the Germans andFrench, and perhaps the Dutch, cast us at a distance; for, however wemay flatter ourselves with the Edwards and Henrys of former ages, thechange of the whole art of war since those days, by which the advantageof personal strength is in a manner entirely lost, hath produced achange in military affairs to the advantage of our enemies. As for oursuccesses in later days, if they were not entirely owing to the superiorgenius of our general, they were not a little due to the superior forceof his money. Indeed, if we should arraign marshal Saxe of ostentationwhen he shewed his army, drawn up, to our captive general, the day afterthe battle of La Val, we cannot say that the ostentation was entirelyvain; since he certainly shewed him an army which had not been oftenequalled, either in the number or goodness of the troops, and which, inthose respects, so far exceeded ours, that none can ever cast anyreflexion on the brave young prince who could not reap the lawrels ofconquest in that day; but his retreat will be always mentioned as anaddition to his glory.
In our marine the case is entirely the reverse, and it must be our ownfault if it doth not continue so; for continue so it will as long as theflourishing state of our trade shall support it, and this support it cannever want till our legislature shall cease to give sufficient attentionto the protection of our trade, and our magistrates want sufficientpower, ability, and honesty, to execute the laws; a circumstance not tobe apprehended, as it cannot happen till our senates and our benchesshall be filled with the blindest ignorance, or with the blackestcorruption.
Besides the ships in the docks, we saw many on the water: the yatchtsare sights of great parade, and the king's body yatcht is, I believe,unequalled in any country for convenience as well as magnificence; bothwhich are consulted in building and equipping her with the mostexquisite art and workmanship.
We saw likewise several Indiamen just returned from their voyage. Theseare, I believe, the largest and finest vessels which are anywhereemployed in commercial affairs. The colliers, likewise, which are verynumerous, and even assemble in fleets, are ships of great bulk; and ifwe descend to those used in the American, African, and European trades,and pass through those which visit our own coasts, to the small craftthat lie between Chatham and the Tower, the whole forms a most pleasingobject to the eye, as well as highly warming to the heart of anEnglishman who has any degree of love for his country, or can recogniseany effect of the patriot in his constitution.
Lastly, the Royal Hospital at Greenwich, which presents so delightful afront to the water, and doth such honour at once to its builder and thenation, to the great skill and ingenuity of the one, and to the no lesssensible gratitude of the other, very properly closes the account ofthis scene; which may well appear romantic to those who have notthemselves seen that, in this one instance, truth and reality arecapable, perhaps, of exceeding the power of fiction.
When we had past by Greenwich we saw only two or three gentlemen'shouses, all of very moderate account, till we reached Gravesend: theseare all on the Kentish shore, which affords a much drier, wholesomer,and pleasanter situation, than doth that of its opposite, Essex. Thiscircumstance, I own, is somewhat surprising to me, when I reflect on thenumerous villas that crowd the river from Chelsea upwards as far asShepperton, where the narrower channel affords not half so noble aprospect, and where the continual succession of the small craft, likethe frequent repetition of all things, which have nothing in them great,beautiful, or admirable, tire the eye, and give us distaste andaversion, instead of pleasure. With some of these situations, such asBarnes, Mortlake, &c., even the shore of Essex might contend, not uponvery unequal terms; but on the Kentish borders there are many spots tobe chosen by the builder which might justly claim the preference overalmost the very finest of those in Middlesex and Surrey.
How shall we account for this depravity in taste? for surely there arenone so very mean and contemptible as to bring the pleasure of seeing anumber of little wherries, gliding along after one another, incompetition with what we enjoy in viewing a succession of ships, withall their sails expanded to the winds, bounding over the waves beforeus.
And here I cannot pass by another observation on the deplorable want oftaste in our enjoyments, which we shew by almost totally neglecting thepursuit of what seems to me the highest degree of amusement; this is,the sailing ourselves in little vessels of our own, contrived only forour ease and accommodation, to which such situations of our villas as Ihave recommended would be so convenient, and even necessary.
This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed in any perfection, would be of theexpensive kind; but such expence would not exceed the reach of amoderate fortune, and would fall very short of the prices which aredaily paid for pleasures of a far inferior rate. The truth, I believe,is, that sailing in the manner I have just mentioned is a pleasurerather unknown, or unthought of, than rejected by those who haveexperienced it; unless, perhaps, the apprehension of danger orsea-sickness may be supposed, by the timorous and delicate, to make toolarge deductions--insisting that all their enjoyments shall come to thempure and unmixed, and being ever ready to cry out,
----Nocet empta dolore voluptas.
This, however, was my present case; for the ease and lightness which Ifelt from my tapping, the gaiety of the morning, the pleasant sailingwith wind and tide, and the many agreeable objects with which I wasconstantly entertained during the whole way, were all suppressed andovercome by the single consideration of my wife's pain, which continuedincessantly to torment her till we came to an anchor, when I dispatcheda messenger in great haste for the best reputed operator in Gravesend. Asurgeon of some eminence now appeared, who did not declinetooth-drawing, though he certainly would have been offended with theappellation of tooth-drawer no less than his brethren, the members ofthat venerable body, would be with that of barber, since the lateseparation between those long-united companies, by which, if thesurgeons have gained much, the barbers are supposed to have lost verylittle.
This able and careful person (for so I sincerely believe he is) afterexamining the guilty tooth, declared that it was such a rotten shell,and so placed at the very remotest end of the upper jaw, where it was ina manner covered and secured by a large fine firm tooth, that hedespaired of his power of drawing it.
He said, indeed, more to my wife, and used more rhetoric to dissuade herfrom having it drawn, than is generally employed to persuade youngladies to prefer a pain of three moments to one of three months'continuance, especially if those young ladies happen to be past fortyand fifty years of age, when, by submitting to support a rackingtorment, the only good circumstance attending which is, it is so shortthat scarce one in a thousand can cry out "I feel it," they are to do aviolence to their charms, and lose one of those beautiful holders withwhich alone Sir Courtly Nice declares a lady can ever lay hold of hisheart.
He said at last so much, and seemed to reason so justly, that I cameover to his side, and assisted him in prevailing on my wife (for it wasno easy matter) to resolve on keeping her tooth a little longer, and toapply palliatives only for relief. These were opium applied to thetooth, and blisters behind the ears.
Whilst we were at dinner this day in the cabin, on a sudden the windowon one side was beat into the room with a crash as if a twenty-pounderhad been discharged among us. We were all alarmed at the suddenness ofthe accident, for which, however, we were soon able to account, for thesash, which was shivered all to pieces, was pursued into the middle ofthe cabin by the bowsprit of a little ship called a cod-smack, themaster of which made us amends for running (carelessly at best) againstus, and injuring the ship, in the sea-way; that is to say, by damningus all to hell, and uttering several pious wishes that it had done usmuch more mischief. All which were answered in their own kind and phraseby our men,
between whom and the other crew a dialogue of oaths andscurrility was carried on as long as they continued in each other'shearing.
It is difficult, I think, to assign a satisfactory reason why sailors ingeneral should, of all others, think themselves entirely discharged fromthe common bands of humanity, and should seem to glory in the languageand behaviour of savages! They see more of the world, and have, most ofthem, a more erudite education than is the portion of landmen of theirdegree. Nor do I believe that in any country they visit (Holland itselfnot excepted) they can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on theriver Thames. Is it that they think true courage (for they are thebravest fellows upon earth) inconsistent with all the gentleness of ahumane carriage, and that the contempt of civil order springs up inminds but little cultivated, at the same time and from the sameprinciples with the contempt of danger and death? Is it----? in short,it is so; and how it comes to be so I leave to form a question in theRobin Hood Society, or to be propounded for solution among the aenigmasin the Woman's Almanac for the next year.
_Monday, July 1._--This day Mr Welch took his leave of me after dinner,as did a young lady of her sister, who was proceeding with my wife toLisbon. They both set out together in a post-chaise for London.
Soon after their departure our cabin, where my wife and I were sittingtogether, was visited by two ruffians, whose appearance greatlycorresponded with that of the sheriffs, or rather the knight-marshal'sbailiffs. One of these especially, who seemed to affect a more thanordinary degree of rudeness and insolence, came in without any kind ofceremony, with a broad gold lace on his hat, which was cocked with muchmilitary fierceness on his head. An inkhorn at his button-hole and somepapers in his hand sufficiently assured me what he was, and I asked himif he and his companion were not custom-house officers: he answered withsufficient dignity that they were, as an information which he seemed toconclude would strike the hearer with awe, and suppress all furtherenquiry; but, on the contrary, I proceeded to ask of what rank he was inthe custom-house, and, receiving an answer from his companion, as Iremember, that the gentleman was a riding surveyor, I replied that hemight be a riding surveyor, but could be no gentleman, for that none whohad any title to that denomination would break into the presence of alady without an apology or even moving his hat. He then took hiscovering from his head and laid it on the table, saying, he askedpardon, and blamed the mate, who should, he said, have informed him ifany persons of distinction were below. I told him he might guess by ourappearance (which, perhaps, was rather more than could be said with thestrictest adherence to truth) that he was before a gentleman and lady,which should teach him to be very civil in his behaviour, though weshould not happen to be of that number whom the world calls people offashion and distinction. However, I said, that as he seemed sensible ofhis error, and had asked pardon, the lady would permit him to put hishat on again if he chose it. This he refused with some degree ofsurliness, and failed not to convince me that, if I should condescend tobecome more gentle, he would soon grow more rude.
I now renewed a reflexion, which I have often seen occasion to make,that there is nothing so incongruous in nature as any kind of power withlowness of mind and of ability, and that there is nothing moredeplorable than the want of truth in the whimsical notion of Plato, whotells us that "Saturn, well knowing the state of human affairs, gave uskings and rulers, not of human but divine original; for, as we make notshepherds of sheep, nor oxherds of oxen, nor goatherds of goats, butplace some of our own kind over all as being better and fitter to governthem; in the same manner were demons by the divine love set over us as arace of beings of a superior order to men, and who, with great ease tothemselves, might regulate our affairs and establish peace, modesty,freedom, and justice, and, totally destroying all sedition, mightcomplete the happiness of the human race. So far, at least, may even nowbe said with truth, that in all states which are under the government ofmere man, without any divine assistance, there is nothing but labour andmisery to be found. From what I have said, therefore, we may at leastlearn, with our utmost endeavours, to imitate the Saturnian institution;borrowing all assistance from our immortal part, while we pay to thisthe strictest obedience, we should form both our private oeconomy andpublic policy from its dictates. By this dispensation of our immortalminds we are to establish a law and to call it by that name. But if anygovernment be in the hands of a single person, of the few, or of themany, and such governor or governors shall abandon himself or themselvesto the unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or desires, unable torestrain any passion, but possessed with an insatiable bad disease; ifsuch shall attempt to govern, and at the same time to trample on alllaws, there can be no means of preservation left for the wretchedpeople" Plato de Leg., lib. iv. p. 713, c. 714, edit. Serrani.
It is true that Plato is here treating of the highest or sovereign powerin a state, but it is as true that his observations are general and maybe applied to all inferior powers; and, indeed, every subordinate degreeis immediately derived from the highest; and, as it is equally protectedby the same force and sanctified by the same authority, is alikedangerous to the well-being of the subject.
Of all powers, perhaps, there is none so sanctified and protected asthis which is under our present consideration. So numerous, indeed, andstrong, are the sanctions given to it by many acts of parliament, that,having once established the laws of customs on merchandize, it seems tohave been the sole view of the legislature to strengthen the hands andto protect the persons of the officers who became established by thoselaws, many of whom are so far from bearing any resemblance to theSaturnian institution, and to be chosen from a degree of beings superiorto the rest of human race, that they sometimes seem industriously pickedout of the lowest and vilest orders of mankind.
There is, indeed, nothing so useful to man in general, nor so beneficialto particular societies and individuals, as trade. This is that _almamater_ at whose plentiful breast all mankind are nourished. It is true,like other parents, she is not always equally indulgent to all herchildren, but, though she gives to her favourites a vast proportion ofredundancy and superfluity, there are very few whom she refuses tosupply with the conveniences, and none with the necessaries, of life.
Such a benefactress as this must naturally be beloved by mankind ingeneral; it would be wonderful, therefore, if her interest was notconsidered by them, and protected from the fraud and violence of some ofher rebellious offspring, who, coveting more than their share or morethan she thinks proper to allow them, are daily employed in meditatingmischief against her, and in endeavouring to steal from their brethrenthose shares which this great _alma mater_ had allowed them.
At length our governor came on board, and about six in the evening weweighed anchor, and fell down to the Nore, whither our passage wasextremely pleasant, the evening being very delightful, the moon justpast the full, and both wind and tide favourable to us.
_Tuesday, July 2._--This morning we again set sail, under all theadvantages we had enjoyed the evening before. This day we left the shoreof Essex and coasted along Kent, passing by the pleasant island ofThanet, which is an island, and that of Sheppy, which is not an island,and about three o'clock, the wind being now full in our teeth, we cameto an anchor in the Downs, within two miles of Deal.--My wife, havingsuffered intolerable pain from her tooth, again renewed her resolutionof having it drawn, and another surgeon was sent for from Deal, but withno better success than the former. He likewise declined the operation,for the same reason which had been assigned by the former: however, suchwas her resolution, backed with pain, that he was obliged to make theattempt, which concluded more in honour of his judgment than of hisoperation; for, after having put my poor wife to inexpressible torment,he was obliged to leave her tooth in _statu quo_; and she had now thecomfortable prospect of a long fit of pain, which might have lasted herwhole voyage, without any possibility of relief.
In these pleasing sensations, of which I had my just share, nature,overcome with fatigue, about eight in the evening resigned her
torest--a circumstance which would have given me some happiness, could Ihave known how to employ those spirits which were raised by it; but,unfortunately for me, I was left in a disposition of enjoying anagreeable hour without the assistance of a companion, which has alwaysappeared to me necessary to such enjoyment; my daughter and hercompanion were both retired sea-sick to bed; the other passengers were arude school-boy of fourteen years old and an illiterate Portuguesefriar, who understood no language but his own, in which I had not theleast smattering. The captain was the only person left in whoseconversation I might indulge myself; but unluckily, besides a totalignorance of everything in the world but a ship, he had the misfortuneof being so deaf, that to make him hear, I will not say understand, mywords, I must run the risque of conveying them to the ears of my wife,who, though in another room (called, I think, the state-room--being,indeed, a most stately apartment, capable of containing one human bodyin length, if not very tall, and three bodies in breadth), lay asleepwithin a yard of me. In this situation necessity and choice were one andthe same thing; the captain and I sat down together to a small bowl ofpunch, over which we both soon fell fast asleep, and so concluded theevening.
_Wednesday, July 3._--This morning I awaked at four o'clock, for mydistemper seldom suffered me to sleep later. I presently got up, and hadthe pleasure of enjoying the sight of a tempestuous sea for four hoursbefore the captain was stirring; for he loved to indulge himself inmorning slumbers, which were attended with a wind-music, much moreagreeable to the performers than to the hearers, especially such ashave, as I had, the privilege of sitting in the orchestra. At eighto'clock the captain rose, and sent his boat on shore. I ordered my manlikewise to go in it, as my distemper was not of that kind whichentirely deprives us of appetite. Now, though the captain had wellvictualled his ship with all manner of salt provisions for the voyage,and had added great quantities of fresh stores, particularly ofvegetables, at Gravesend, such as beans and peas, which had been onboard only two days, and had possibly not been gathered above two more,I apprehended I could provide better for myself at Deal than the ship'sordinary seemed to promise. I accordingly sent for fresh provisions ofall kinds from the shore, in order to put off the evil day of starvingas long as possible. My man returned with most of the articles I sentfor, and I now thought myself in a condition of living a week on my ownprovisions. I therefore ordered my own dinner, which I wanted nothingbut a cook to dress and a proper fire to dress it at; but those were notto be had, nor indeed any addition to my roast mutton, except thepleasure of the captain's company, with that of the other passengers;for my wife continued the whole day in a state of dozing, and my otherfemales, whose sickness did not abate by the rolling of the ship atanchor, seemed more inclined to empty their stomachs than to fill them.Thus I passed the whole day (except about an hour at dinner) by myself,and the evening concluded with the captain as the preceding one haddone; one comfortable piece of news he communicated to me, which was,that he had no doubt of a prosperous wind in the morning; but as he didnot divulge the reasons of this confidence, and as I saw none myselfbesides the wind being directly opposite, my faith in this prophecy wasnot strong enough to build any great hopes upon.
_Thursday, July 4._--This morning, however, the captain seemed resolvedto fulfil his own predictions, whether the wind would or no; heaccordingly weighed anchor, and, taking the advantage of the tide whenthe wind was not very boisterous, he hoisted his sails; and, as if hispower had been no less absolute over AEolus than it was over Neptune, heforced the wind to blow him on in its own despight.
But as all men who have ever been at sea well know how weak suchattempts are, and want no authorities of Scripture to prove that themost absolute power of a captain of a ship is very contemptible in thewind's eye, so did it befal our noble commander, who, having struggledwith the wind three or four hours, was obliged to give over, and lost ina few minutes all that he had been so long a-gaining; in short, wereturned to our former station, and once more cast anchor in theneighbourhood of Deal.
Here, though we lay near the shore, that we might promise ourselves allthe emolument which could be derived from it, we found ourselvesdeceived; and that we might with as much conveniency be out of the sightof land; for, except when the captain launched forth his own boat, whichhe did always with great reluctance, we were incapable of procuringanything from Deal, but at a price too exorbitant, and beyond the reacheven of modern luxury--the fair of a boat from Deal, which lay at twomiles' distance, being at least three half-crowns, and, if we had beenin any distress for it, as many half-guineas; for these good peopleconsider the sea as a large common appendant to their manor, in whichwhen they find any of their fellow-creatures impounded, they concludethat they have a full right of making them pay at their own discretionfor their deliverance: to say the truth, whether it be that men who liveon the sea-shore are of an amphibious kind, and do not entirely partakeof human nature, or whatever else may be the reason, they are so farfrom taking any share in the distresses of mankind, or of being movedwith any compassion for them, that they look upon them as blessingsshowered down from above, and which the more they improve to their ownuse, the greater is their gratitude and piety. Thus at Gravesend asculler requires a shilling for going less way than he would row inLondon for threepence; and at Deal a boat often brings more profit in aday than it can produce in London in a week, or perhaps in a month; inboth places the owner of the boat founds his demand on the necessity anddistress of one who stands more or less in absolute want of hisassistance, and with the urgency of these always rises in theexorbitancy of his demand, without ever considering that, from thesevery circumstances, the power or ease of gratifying such demand is inlike proportion lessened. Now, as I am unwilling that some conclusions,which may be, I am aware, too justly drawn from these observations,should be imputed to human nature in general, I have endeavoured toaccount for them in a way more consistent with the goodness and dignityof that nature. However it be, it seems a little to reflect on thegovernors of such monsters that they do not take some means to restrainthese impositions, and prevent them from triumphing any longer in themiseries of those who are, in many circumstances at least, theirfellow-creatures, and considering the distresses of a wretched seaman,from his being wrecked to his being barely wind-bound, as a blessingsent among them from above, and calling it by that blasphemous name.
_Friday, July 5._--This day I sent a servant on board a man-of-war thatwas stationed here, with my compliments to the captain, to represent tohim the distress of the ladies, and to desire the favour of hislong-boat to conduct us to Dover, at about seven miles' distance; and atthe same time presumed to make use of a great lady's name, the wife ofthe first lord commissioner of the admiralty, who would, I told him, bepleased with any kindness shewn by him towards us in our miserablecondition. And this I am convinced was true, from the humanity of thelady, though she was entirely unknown to me.
The captain returned a verbal answer to a long letter acquainting methat what I desired could not be complied with, it being a favour not inhis power to grant. This might be, and I suppose was, true; but it is astrue that, if he was able to write, and had pen, ink, and paper onboard, he might have sent a written answer, and that it was the part ofa gentleman so to have done; but this is a character seldom maintainedon the watery element, especially by those who exercise any power on it.Every commander of a vessel here seems to think himself entirely freefrom all those rules of decency and civility which direct and restrainthe conduct of the members of a society on shore; and each, claimingabsolute dominion in his little wooden world, rules by his own laws andhis own discretion. I do not, indeed, know so pregnant an instance ofthe dangerous consequences of absolute power, and its aptness tointoxicate the mind, as that of those petty tyrants, who become such ina moment, from very well-disposed and social members of that communionin which they affect no superiority, but live in an orderly state oflegal subjection with their fellow-citizens.
_Saturday, July 6._--This morning our commander, dec
laring he was surethe wind would change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide, and weighedhis anchor. His assurance, however, had the same completion, and hisendeavours the same success, with his formal trial; and he was soonobliged to return once more to his old quarters. Just before we let goour anchor, a small sloop, rather than submit to yield us an inch ofway, ran foul of our ship, and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinatefrolic would have cost those aboard the sloop very dear, if oursteersman had not been too generous to exert his superiority, thecertain consequence of which would have been the immediate sinking ofthe other. This contention of the inferior with a might capable ofcrushing it in an instant may seem to argue no small share of folly ormadness, as well as of impudence; but I am convinced there is verylittle danger in it: contempt is a port to which the pride of mansubmits to fly with reluctance, but those who are within it are alwaysin a place of the most assured security; for whosoever throws away hissword prefers, indeed, a less honourable but much safer means ofavoiding danger than he who defends himself with it. And here we shalloffer another distinction, of the truth of which much reading andexperience have well convinced us, that as in the most absolutegovernments there is a regular progression of slavery downwards, fromthe top to the bottom, the mischief of which is seldom felt with anygreat force and bitterness but by the next immediate degree; so in themost dissolute and anarchical states there is as regular an ascent ofwhat is called rank or condition, which is always laying hold of thehead of him who is advanced but one step higher on the ladder, whomight, if he did not too much despise such efforts, kick his pursuerheadlong to the bottom. We will conclude this digression with onegeneral and short observation, which will, perhaps, set the whole matterin a clearer light than the longest and most laboured harangue. Whereasenvy of all things most exposes us to danger from others, so contempt ofall things best secures us from them. And thus, while the dung-cart andthe sloop are always meditating mischief against the coach and the ship,and throwing themselves designedly in their way, the latter consideronly their own security, and are not ashamed to break the road and letthe other pass by them.
_Monday, July 8._--Having past our Sunday without anything remarkable,unless the catching a great number of whitings in the afternoon may bethought so, we now set sail on Monday at six o'clock, with a littlevariation of wind; but this was so very little, and the breeze itself sosmall, that the tide was our best and indeed almost our only friend.This conducted us along the short remainder of the Kentish shore. Herewe past that cliff of Dover which makes so tremendous a figure inShakspeare, and which whoever reads without being giddy, must, accordingto Mr Addison's observation, have either a very good head or a very badone; but which, whoever contracts any such ideas from the sight of, musthave at least a poetic if not a Shaksperian genius. In truth, mountains,rivers, heroes, and gods owe great part of their existence to the poets;and Greece and Italy do so plentifully abound in the former, becausethey furnish so glorious a number of the latter; who, while theybestowed immortality on every little hillock and blind stream, left thenoblest rivers and mountains in the world to share the same obscuritywith the eastern and western poets, in which they are celebrated.
This evening we beat the sea of Sussex in sight of Dungeness, with muchmore pleasure than progress; for the weather was almost a perfect calm,and the moon, which was almost at the full, scarce suffered a singlecloud to veil her from our sight.
_Tuesday, Wednesday, July 9, 10._--These two days we had much the samefine weather, and made much the same way; but in the evening of thelatter day a pretty fresh gale sprung up at N.N.W., which brought us bythe morning in sight of the Isle of Wight.
_Thursday, July 11._--This gale continued till towards noon; when theeast end of the island bore but little ahead of us. The captainswaggered and declared he would keep the sea; but the wind got thebetter of him, so that about three he gave up the victory, and making asudden tack stood in for the shore, passed by Spithead and Portsmouth,and came to an anchor at a place called Ryde on the island.
A most tragical incident fell out this day at sea. While the ship wasunder sail, but making as will appear no great way, a kitten, one offour of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, fell from the window intothe water: an alarm was immediately given to the captain, who was thenupon deck, and received it with the utmost concern and many bitteroaths. He immediately gave orders to the steersman in favour of the poorthing, as he called it; the sails were instantly slackened, and allhands, as the phrase is, employed to recover the poor animal. I was, Iown, extremely surprised at all this; less indeed at the captain'sextreme tenderness than at his conceiving any possibility of success;for if puss had had nine thousand instead of nine lives, I concludedthey had been all lost. The boatswain, however, had more sanguine hopes,for, having stripped himself of his jacket, breeches, and shirt, heleaped boldly into the water, and to my great astonishment in a fewminutes returned to the ship, bearing the motionless animal in hismouth. Nor was this, I observed, a matter of such great difficulty as itappeared to my ignorance, and possibly may seem to that of myfresh-water reader. The kitten was now exposed to air and sun on thedeck, where its life, of which it retained no symptoms, was despaired ofby all.
The captain's humanity, if I may so call it, did not so totally destroyhis philosophy as to make him yield himself up to affliction on thismelancholy occasion. Having felt his loss like a man, he resolved toshew he could bear it like one; and, having declared he had rather havelost a cask of rum or brandy, betook himself to threshing at backgammonwith the Portuguese friar, in which innocent amusement they had passedabout two-thirds of their time.
But as I have, perhaps, a little too wantonly endeavoured to raise thetender passions of my readers in this narrative, I should think myselfunpardonable if I concluded it without giving them the satisfaction ofhearing that the kitten at last recovered, to the great joy of the goodcaptain, but to the great disappointment of some of the sailors, whoasserted that the drowning a cat was the very surest way of raising afavourable wind; a supposition of which, though we have heard severalplausible accounts, we will not presume to assign the true originalreason.
_Friday, July 12._--This day our ladies went ashore at Ryde, and dranktheir afternoon tea at an ale-house there with great satisfaction: herethey were regaled with fresh cream, to which they had been strangerssince they left the Downs.
_Saturday, July 13._--The wind seeming likely to continue in the samecorner where it had been almost constantly for two months together, Iwas persuaded by my wife to go ashore and stay at Ryde till we sailed. Iapproved the motion much; for though I am a great lover of the sea, Inow fancied there was more pleasure in breathing the fresh air of theland; but how to get thither was the question; for, being really thatdead luggage which I considered all passengers to be in the beginning ofthis narrative, and incapable of any bodily motion without externalimpulse, it was in vain to leave the ship, or to determine to do it,without the assistance of others. In one instance, perhaps, the livingluggage is more difficult to be moved or removed than an equal or muchsuperior weight of dead matter; which, if of the brittle kind, mayindeed be liable to be broken through negligence; but this, by propercare, may be almost certainly prevented; whereas the fractures to whichthe living lumps are exposed are sometimes by no caution avoidable, andoften by no art to be amended.
I was deliberating on the means of conveyance, not so much out of theship to the boat as out of a little tottering boat to the land; a matterwhich, as I had already experienced in the Thames, was not extremelyeasy, when to be performed by any other limbs than your own. Whilst Iweighed all that could suggest itself on this head, without strictlyexamining the merit of the several schemes which were advanced by thecaptain and sailors, and, indeed, giving no very deep attention even tomy wife, who, as well as her friend and my daughter, were exerting theirtender concern for my ease and safety, Fortune, for I am convinced shehad a hand in it, sent me a present of a buck; a present welcome enoughof itself, but more welcome on account of the
vessel in which it came,being a large hoy, which in some places would pass for a ship, and manypeople would go some miles to see the sight. I was pretty easilyconveyed on board this hoy; but to get from hence to the shore was notso easy a task; for, however strange it may appear, the water itself didnot extend so far; an instance which seems to explain those lines ofOvid,
Omnia pontus erant, deerant quoque littora ponto,
in a less tautological sense than hath generally been imputed to them.
In fact, between the sea and the shore there was, at low water, animpassable gulph, if I may so call it, of deep mud, which could neitherbe traversed by walking nor swimming; so that for near one half of thetwenty-four hours Ryde was inaccessible by friend or foe. But as themagistrates of this place seemed more to desire the company of theformer than to fear that of the latter, they had begun to make a smallcauseway to the low-water mark, so that foot passengers might landwhenever they pleased; but as this work was of a public kind, and wouldhave cost a large sum of money, at least ten pounds, and themagistrates, that is to say, the churchwardens, the overseers,constable, and tithing-man, and the principal inhabitants, had every oneof them some separate scheme of private interest to advance at theexpence of the public, they fell out among themselves; and, after havingthrown away one half of the requisite sum, resolved at least to save theother half, and rather be contented to sit down losers themselves thanto enjoy any benefit which might bring in a greater profit to another.Thus that unanimity which is so necessary in all public affairs becamewanting, and every man, from the fear of being a bubble to another, was,in reality, a bubble to himself.
However, as there is scarce any difficulty to which the strength of men,assisted with the cunning of art, is not equal, I was at last hoistedinto a small boat, and, being rowed pretty near the shore, was taken upby two sailors, who waded with me through the mud, and placed me in achair on the land, whence they afterwards conveyed me a quarter of amile farther, and brought me to a house which seemed to bid the fairestfor hospitality of any in Ryde.
We brought with us our provisions from the ship, so that we wantednothing but a fire to dress our dinner, and a room in which we might eatit. In neither of these had we any reason to apprehend a disappointment,our dinner consisting only of beans and bacon; and the worst apartmentin his majesty's dominions, either at home or abroad, being fullysufficient to answer our present ideas of delicacy.
Unluckily, however, we were disappointed in both; for when we arrivedabout four at our inn, exulting in the hopes of immediately seeing ourbeans smoking on the table, we had the mortification of seeing them onthe table indeed, but without that circumstance which would have madethe sight agreeable, being in the same state in which we had dispatchedthem from our ship.
In excuse for this delay, though we had exceeded, almost purposely, thetime appointed, and our provision had arrived three hours before, themistress of the house acquainted us that it was not for want of time todress them that they were not ready, but for fear of their being cold oroverdone before we should come; which she assured us was much worse thanwaiting a few minutes for our dinner; an observation so very just, thatit is impossible to find any objection in it; but, indeed, it was notaltogether so proper at this time, for we had given the most absoluteorders to have them ready at four, and had been ourselves, not withoutmuch care and difficulty, most exactly punctual in keeping to the veryminute of our appointment. But tradesmen, inn-keepers, and servants,never care to indulge us in matters contrary to our true interest, whichthey always know better than ourselves; nor can any bribes corrupt themto go out of their way whilst they are consulting our good in our owndespight.
Our disappointment in the other particular, in defiance of our humility,as it was more extraordinary, was more provoking. In short, Mrs Francis(for that was the name of the good woman of the house) no soonerreceived the news of our intended arrival than she considered more thegentility than the humanity of her guests, and applied herself not tothat which kindles but to that which extinguishes fire, and, forgettingto put on her pot, fell to washing her house.
As the messenger who had brought my venison was impatient to bedespatched, I ordered it to be brought and laid on the table in the roomwhere I was seated; and the table not being large enough, one side, andthat a very bloody one, was laid on the brick floor. I then ordered MrsFrancis to be called in, in order to give her instructions concerningit; in particular, what I would have roasted and what baked; concludingthat she would be highly pleased with the prospect of so much moneybeing spent in her house as she might have now reason to expect, if thewind continued only a few days longer to blow from the same pointswhence it had blown for several weeks past.
I soon saw good cause, I must confess, to despise my own sagacity. MrsFrancis, having received her orders, without making any answer, snatchedthe side from the floor, which remained stained with blood, and, biddinga servant to take up that on the table, left the room with no pleasantcountenance, muttering to herself that, "had she known the litter whichwas to have been made, she would not have taken such pains to wash herhouse that morning. If this was gentility, much good may it do suchgentlefolks; for her part she had no notion of it."
From these murmurs I received two hints. The one, that it was not from amistake of our inclination that the good woman had starved us, but fromwisely consulting her own dignity, or rather perhaps her vanity, towhich our hunger was offered up as a sacrifice. The other, that I wasnow sitting in a damp room, a circumstance, though it had hithertoescaped my notice from the colour of the bricks, which was by no meansto be neglected in a valetudinary state.
My wife, who, besides discharging excellently well her own and all thetender offices becoming the female character; who, besides being afaithful friend, an amiable companion, and a tender nurse, couldlikewise supply the wants of a decrepit husband, and occasionallyperform his part, had, before this, discovered the immoderate attentionto neatness in Mrs Francis, and provided against its ill consequences.She had found, though not under the same roof, a very snug apartmentbelonging to Mr Francis, and which had escaped the mop by his wife'sbeing satisfied it could not possibly be visited by gentlefolks.
This was a dry, warm, oaken-floored barn, lined on both sides withwheaten straw, and opening at one end into a green field and a beautifulprospect. Here, without hesitation, she ordered the cloth to be laid,and came hastily to snatch me from worse perils by water than the commondangers of the sea.
Mrs Francis, who could not trust her own ears, or could not believe afootman in so extraordinary a phenomenon, followed my wife, and askedher if she had indeed ordered the cloth to be laid in the barn? Sheanswered in the affirmative; upon which Mrs Francis declared she wouldnot dispute her pleasure, but it was the first time she believed thatquality had ever preferred a barn to a house. She shewed at the sametime the most pregnant marks of contempt, and again lamented the labourshe had undergone, through her ignorance of the absurd taste of herguests.
At length, we were seated in one of the most pleasant spots I believe inthe kingdom, and were regaled with our beans and bacon, in which therewas nothing deficient but the quantity. This defect was however sodeplorable that we had consumed our whole dish before we had visiblylessened our hunger. We now waited with impatience the arrival of oursecond course, which necessity, and not luxury, had dictated. This was ajoint of mutton which Mrs Francis had been ordered to provide; but when,being tired with expectation, we ordered our servants _to see forsomething else_, we were informed that there was nothing else; on whichMrs Francis, being summoned, declared there was no such thing as muttonto be had at Ryde. When I expressed some astonishment at their having nobutcher in a village so situated, she answered they had a very good one,and one that killed all sorts of meat in season, beef two or three timesa year, and mutton the whole year round; but that, it being then beansand peas time, he killed no meat, by reason he was not sure of sellingit. This she had not thought worthy of communication, any more than thatthere lived a fisherma
n at next door, who was then provided with plentyof soles, and whitings, and lobsters, far superior to those which adorna city feast. This discovery being made by accident, we completed thebest, the pleasantest, and the merriest meal, with more appetite, morereal solid luxury, and more festivity, than was ever seen in anentertainment at White's.
It may be wondered at, perhaps, that Mrs Francis should be so negligentof providing for her guests, as she may seem to be thus inattentive toher own interest; but this was not the case; for, having clapped apoll-tax on our heads at our arrival, and determined at what price todischarge our bodies from her house, the less she suffered any other toshare in the levy the clearer it came into her own pocket; and that itwas better to get twelve pence in a shilling than ten pence, whichlatter would be the case if she afforded us fish at any rate.
Thus we past a most agreeable day owing to good appetites and goodhumour; two hearty feeders which will devour with satisfaction whateverfood you place before them; whereas, without these, the elegance of StJames's, the charde, the perigord-pie, or the ortolan, the venison, theturtle, or the custard, may titillate the throat, but will never conveyhappiness to the heart or chearfulness to the countenance.
As the wind appeared still immovable, my wife proposed my lying onshore. I presently agreed, though in defiance of an act of parliament,by which persons wandering abroad and lodging in ale-houses are decreedto be rogues and vagabonds; and this too after having been verysingularly officious in putting that law in execution.
My wife, having reconnoitred the house, reported that there was one roomin which were two beds. It was concluded, therefore, that she andHarriot should occupy one and myself take possession of the other. Sheadded likewise an ingenious recommendation of this room to one who hadso long been in a cabin, which it exactly resembled, as it was sunk downwith age on one side, and was in the form of a ship with gunwales too.
For my own part, I make little doubt but this apartment was an ancienttemple, built with the materials of a wreck, and probably dedicated toNeptune in honour of THE BLESSING sent by him to the inhabitants; suchblessings having in all ages been very common to them. The timberemployed in it confirms this opinion, being such as is seldom used byany but ship-builders. I do not find indeed any mention of this matterin Hearn; but perhaps its antiquity was too modern to deserve hisnotice. Certain it is that this island of Wight was not an earlyconvert to Christianity; nay, there is some reason to doubt whether itwas ever entirely converted. But I have only time to touch slightly onthings of this kind, which, luckily for us, we have a society whosepeculiar profession it is to discuss and develop.
_Sunday, July 19._--This morning early I summoned Mrs Francis, in orderto pay her the preceding day's account. As I could recollect only two orthree articles I thought there was no necessity of pen and ink. In asingle instance only we had exceeded what the law allows gratis to afoot-soldier on his march, viz., vinegar, salt, &c., and dressing hismeat. I found, however, I was mistaken in my calculation; for when thegood woman attended with her bill it contained as follows:--
L _s._ _d._
Bread and beer 0 2 4 Wind 0 2 0 Rum 0 2 0 Dressing dinner 0 3 0 Tea 0 1 6 Firing 0 1 0 Lodging 0 1 6 Servants' lodging 0 0 6 __________ L0 13 10
Now that five people and two servants should live a day and night at apublic-house for so small a sum will appear incredible to any person inLondon above the degree of a chimney-sweeper; but more astonishing willit seem that these people should remain so long at such a house withouttasting any other delicacy than bread, small beer, a teacupfull of milkcalled cream, a glass of rum converted into punch by their ownmaterials, and one bottle of _wind_, of which we only tasted a singleglass, though possibly, indeed, our servants drank the remainder of thebottle.
This _wind_ is a liquor of English manufacture, and its flavour isthought very delicious by the generality of the English, who drink it ingreat quantities. Every seventh year is thought to produce as much asthe other six. It is then drank so plentifully that the whole nation arein a manner intoxicated by it; and consequently very little business iscarried on at that season.
It resembles in colour the red wine which is imported from Portugal, asit doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, and from this agreement inthe orthography, the one is often confounded with the other, though bothare seldom esteemed by the same person. It is to be had in every parishof the kingdom, and a pretty large quantity is consumed in themetropolis, where several taverns are set apart solely for the venditionof this liquor, the masters never dealing in any other.
The disagreement in our computation produced some small remonstrance toMrs Francis on my side; but this received an immediate answer: "Shescorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always frequented bythe very best gentry of the island; and she had never had a bill foundfault with in her life, though she had lived upwards of forty years inthe house, and within that time the greatest gentry in Hampshire hadbeen at it; and that lawyer Willis never went to any other when he cameto those parts. That for her part she did not get her livelihood bytravellers, who were gone and away, and she never expected to see themmore, but that her neighbours might come again; wherefore, to be sure,they had the only right to complain."
She was proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed likelyto stretch the discourse to an immoderate length, when I suddenly cutall short by paying the bill.
This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from curiositythan religion; they were attended by the captain in a most militaryattire, with his cockade in his hat and his sword by his side. Sounusual an appearance in this little chapel drew the attention of allpresent, and probably disconcerted the women, who were in dishabille,and wished themselves drest, for the sake of the curate, who was thegreatest of their beholders.
While I was left alone I received a visit from Mr Francis himself, whowas much more considerable as a farmer than as an inn-holder. Indeed, heleft the latter entirely to the care of his wife, and he acted wisely, Ibelieve, in so doing.
As nothing more remarkable past on this day I will close it with theaccount of these two characters, as far as a few days' residence couldinform me of them. If they should appear as new to the reader as theydid to me, he will not be displeased at finding them here.
This amiable couple seemed to border hard on their grand climacteric;nor indeed were they shy of owning enough to fix their ages within ayear or two of that time. They appeared to be rather proud of havingemployed their time well than ashamed of having lived so long; the onlyreason which I could ever assign why some fine ladies, and finegentlemen too, should desire to be thought younger than they really areby the contemporaries of their grandchildren. Some, indeed, who toohastily credit appearances, might doubt whether they had made so good ause of their time as I would insinuate, since there was no appearance ofanything but poverty, want, and wretchedness, about their house; norcould they produce anything to a customer in exchange for his money buta few bottles of _wind_, and spirituous liquors, and some very bad ale,to drink; with rusty bacon and worse cheese to eat. But then it shouldbe considered, on the other side, that whatever they received was almostas entirely clear profit as the blessing of a wreck itself; such an innbeing the very reverse of a coffee-house; for here you can neither sitfor nothing nor have anything for your money.
Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the marks ofantiquity visible. Scarce anything was to be seen which had not somescar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an utensil, it was manifest,had been purchased within a dozen years last past; so that whatevermoney had come into the house during that period at least must haveremained in it, unless it had been sent abroad for food, or otherperishable commodities; but these were supplied by a small portion ofthe fruits of the farm, in which the farmer allowed he had a very goodbargain. In fact, it is inconceivab
le what sums may be collected bystarving only, and how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will butbe contented to live miserable.
Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as someapprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of hischearfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the contrary; and sodid farmer Francis, who was of a round stature, had a plump round face,with a kind of smile on it, and seemed to borrow an air of wretchednessrather from his coat's age than from his own.
The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more than anypossible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember to have seen anycaution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot, or in any other modernwriter or regimen. Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the learnedDr James's Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is avery common food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were notlong since very liberally entertained with it by the present attorneyand other eminent lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and were all madehorribly sick by it.
But though it should not be found among our English physical writers, wemay be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks; for nothingconsiderable in nature escapes their notice, though many thingsconsiderable in them, it is to be feared, have escaped the notice oftheir readers. The Greeks, then, to all such as feed too voraciously onthis diet, give the name of HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, Isuppose, translate _men that eat themselves_.
As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food, sonothing is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only cheapthing the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish might producethis disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the same aversion in apeople of AEthiopia to the same cause; he calls them the fish-eaters, andasserts that they cannot be brought to eat a single meal with theHeautofagi by any persuasion, threat, or violence whatever, not eventhough they should kill their children before their faces.
What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting thismatter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple mistake, arisingfrom a very excusable ignorance; that the passions of men are capable ofswallowing food as well as their appetites; that the former, in feeding,resemble the state of those animals who chew the cud; and therefore,such men, in some sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as itwere to devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a meagre aspect andthin habit of body, as surely as from what is called a consumption.
Our farmer was one of these. He had no more passion than anIchthuofagus or AEthiopian fisher. He wished not for anything, thoughtnot of anything; indeed, he scarce did anything or said anything. Here Icannot be understood strictly; for then I must describe a nonentity,whereas I would rob him of nothing but that free agency which is thecause of all the corruption and of all the misery of human nature. Noman, indeed, ever did more than the farmer, for he was an absolute slaveto labour all the week; but in truth, as my sagacious reader must haveat first apprehended, when I said he resigned the care of the house tohis wife, I meant more than I then expressed, even the house and allthat belonged to it; for he was really a farmer only under the directionof his wife. In a word, so composed, so serene, so placid a countenance,I never saw; and he satisfied himself by answering to every question hewas asked, "I don't know anything about it, sir; I leaves all that to mywife."
Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil, have madeno composition in life, and for want of all savour must have palledevery taste; nature or fortune, or both of them, took care to provide aproper quantity of acid in the materials that formed the wife, and torender her a perfect helpmate for so tranquil a husband. She abounded inwhatsoever he was defective; that is to say, in almost everything. Shewas indeed as vinegar to oil, or a brisk wind to a standing-pool, andpreserved all from stagnation and corruption.
Quin the player, on taking a nice and severe survey of afellow-comedian, burst forth into this exclamation:--"If that fellow benot a rogue, God Almighty doth not write a legible hand." Whether heguessed right or no is not worth my while to examine; certain it is thatthe latter, having wrought his features into a proper harmony to becomethe characters of Iago, Shylock, and others of the same cast, gave us asemblance of truth to the observation that was sufficient to confirm thewit of it. Indeed, we may remark, in favour of the physiognomist, thoughthe law has made him a rogue and vagabond, that Nature is seldom curiousin her works within, without employing some little pains on the outside;and this more particularly in mischievous characters, in forming which,as Mr Derham observes, in venomous insects, as the sting or saw of awasp, she is sometimes wonderfully industrious. Now, when she hath thuscompletely armed our hero to carry on a war with man, she never fails offurnishing that innocent lambkin with some means of knowing his enemy,and foreseeing his designs. Thus she hath been observed to act in thecase of a rattlesnake, which never meditates a human prey without givingwarning of his approach.
This observation will, I am convinced, hold most true, if applied to themost venomous individuals of human insects. A tyrant, a trickster, and abully, generally wear the marks of their several dispositions in theircountenances; so do the vixen, the shrew, the scold, and all otherfemales of the like kind. But, perhaps, nature hath never afforded astronger example of all this than in the case of Mrs Francis. She was ashort, squat woman; her head was closely joined to her shoulders, whereit was fixed somewhat awry; every feature of her countenance was sharpand pointed; her face was furrowed with the small-pox; and hercomplexion, which seemed to be able to turn milk to curds, not a littleresembled in colour such milk as had already undergone that operation.She appeared, indeed, to have many symptoms of a deep jaundice in herlook; but the strength and firmness of her voice overbalanced them all;the tone of this was a sharp treble at a distance, for I seldom heardit on the same floor, but was usually waked with it in the morning, andentertained with it almost continually through the whole day.
Though vocal be usually put in opposition to instrumental music, Iquestion whether this might not be thought to partake of the nature ofboth; for she played on two instruments, which she seemed to keep for noother use from morning till night; these were two maids, or ratherscolding-stocks, who, I suppose, by some means or other, earned theirboard, and she gave them their lodging _gratis_, or for no other servicethan to keep her lungs in constant exercise.
She differed, as I have said, in every particular from her husband; butvery remarkably in this, that, as it was impossible to displease him, soit was as impossible to please her; and as no art could remove a smilefrom his countenance, so could no art carry it into hers. If her billswere remonstrated against she was offended with the tacit censure of herfair-dealing; if they were not, she seemed to regard it as a tacitsarcasm on her folly, which might have set down larger prices with thesame success. On this latter hint she did indeed improve, for she dailyraised some of her articles. A pennyworth of fire was to-day rated at ashilling, to-morrow at eighteen-pence; and if she dressed us two dishesfor two shillings on the Saturday, we paid half-a-crown for the cookeryof one on the Sunday; and, whenever she was paid, she never left theroom without lamenting the small amount of her bill, saying, "she knewnot how it was that others got their money by gentlefolks, but for herpart she had not the art of it." When she was asked why she complained,when she was paid all she demanded, she answered, "she could not denythat, nor did she know she had omitted anything; but that it was but apoor bill for gentlefolks to pay."
I accounted for all this by her having heard, that it is a maxim withthe principal inn-holders on the continent, to levy considerable sums ontheir guests, who travel with many horses and servants, though suchguests should eat little or nothing in their houses; the method being, Ibelieve, in such cases, to lay a capitation on the horses, and not ontheir masters. But she did not consider that in most of these inns avery great degree of hunger, without any degree of delicacy, may besatisfied; and that in all such inns there is some appearance, at least,of provision, as well as of a man-cook to dress
it, one of the hostlersbeing always furnished with a cook's cap, waistcoat, and apron, ready toattend gentlemen and ladies on their summons; that the case therefore ofsuch inns differed from hers, where there was nothing to eat or todrink, and in reality no house to inhabit, no chair to sit upon, nor anybed to lie in; that one third or fourth part therefore of the levyimposed at inns was, in truth, a higher tax than the whole was when laidon in the other, where, in order to raise a small sum, a man is obligedto submit to pay as many various ways for the same thing as he doth tothe government for the light which enters through his own window intohis own house, from his own estate; such are the articles of bread andbeer, firing, eating and dressing dinner.
The foregoing is a very imperfect sketch of this extraordinary couple;for everything is here lowered instead of being heightened. Those whowould see them set forth in more lively colours, and with the properornaments, may read the descriptions of the Furies in some of theclassical poets, or of the Stoic philosophers in the works of Lucian.
_Monday, July 20._--This day nothing remarkable passed; Mrs Francislevied a tax of fourteen shillings for the Sunday. We regaled ourselvesat dinner with venison and good claret of our own; and, in theafternoon, the women, attended by the captain, walked to see adelightful scene two miles distant, with the beauties of which theydeclared themselves most highly charmed at their return, as well as withthe goodness of the lady of the mansion, who had slipt out of the way,that my wife and their company might refresh themselves with the flowersand fruits with which her garden abounded.
_Tuesday, July 21._--This day, having paid our taxes of yesterday, wewere permitted to regale ourselves with more venison. Some of this wewould willingly have exchanged for mutton; but no such flesh was to behad nearer than Portsmouth, from whence it would have cost more toconvey a joint to us than the freight of a Portugal ham from Lisbon toLondon amounts to; for though the water-carriage be somewhat cheaperhere than at Deal, yet can you find no waterman who will go on board hisboat, unless by two or three hours' rowing he can get drunk for theresidue of the week.
And here I have an opportunity, which possibly may not offer again, ofpublishing some observations on that political oeconomy of thisnation, which, as it concerns only the regulation of the mob, is belowthe notice of our great men; though on the due regulation of this orderdepend many emoluments, which the great men themselves, or at least manywho tread close on their heels, may enjoy, as well as some dangers whichmay some time or other arise from introducing a pure state of anarchyamong them. I will represent the case, as it appears to me, very fairlyand impartially between the mob and their betters.
The whole mischief which infects this part of our oeconomy arisesfrom the vague and uncertain use of a word called liberty, of which, asscarce any two men with whom I have ever conversed seem to have one andthe same idea, I am inclined to doubt whether there be any simpleuniversal notion represented by this word, or whether it conveys anyclearer or more determinate idea than some of those old Puniccompositions of syllables preserved in one of the comedies of Plautus,but at present, as I conceive, not supposed to be understood by any one.
By liberty, however, I apprehend, is commonly understood the power ofdoing what we please; not absolutely, for then it would be inconsistentwith law, by whose control the liberty of the freest people, except onlythe Hottentots and wild Indians, must always be restrained.
But, indeed, however largely we extend, or however moderately weconfine, the sense of the word, no politician will, I presume, contendthat it is to pervade in an equal degree, and be, with the same extent,enjoyed by, every member of society; no such polity having been everfound, unless among those vile people just before commemorated. Amongthe Greeks and Romans the servile and free conditions were opposed toeach other; and no man who had the misfortune to be enrolled under theformer could lay any claim to liberty till the right was conveyed to himby that master whose slave he was, either by the means of conquest, ofpurchase, or of birth.
This was the state of all the free nations in the world; and this, tillvery lately, was understood to be the case of our own.
I will not indeed say this is the case at present, the lowest class ofour people having shaken off all the shackles of their superiors, andbecome not only as free, but even freer, than most of their superiors.I believe it cannot be doubted, though perhaps we have no recentinstance of it, that the personal attendance of every man who hath threehundred pounds per annum, in parliament, is indispensably his duty; andthat, if the citizens and burgesses of any city or borough shall chusesuch a one, however reluctant he appear, he may be obliged to attend,and be forcibly brought to his duty by the serjeant-at-arms.
Again, there are numbers of subordinate offices, some of which are ofburthen, and others of expence, in the civil government--all of whichpersons who are qualified are liable to have imposed on them, may beobliged to undertake and properly execute, notwithstanding any bodilylabour, or even danger, to which they may subject themselves, under thepenalty of fines and imprisonment; nay, and what may appear somewhathard, may be compelled to satisfy the losses which are eventuallyincident, to that of sheriff in particular, out of their own privatefortunes; and though this should prove the ruin of a family, yet thepublic, to whom the price is due, incurs no debt or obligation topreserve its officer harmless, let his innocence appear ever so clearly.
I purposely omit the mention of those military or militiary duties whichour old constitution laid upon its greatest members. These might,indeed, supply their posts with some other able-bodied men; but if nosuch could have been found, the obligation nevertheless remained, andthey were compellable to serve in their own proper persons.
The only one, therefore, who is possessed of absolute liberty is thelowest member of the society, who, if he prefers hunger, or the wildproduct of the fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, with the indulgence ofease and laziness, to a food a little more delicate, but purchased atthe expence of labour, may lay himself under a shade; nor can be forcedto take the other alternative from that which he hath, I will not affirmwhether wisely or foolishly, chosen.
Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of the last Vagrant Act, where all suchpersons are compellable to work for the usual and accustomed wagesallowed in the place; but this is a clause little known to the justicesof the peace, and least likely to be executed by those who do know it,as they know likewise that it is formed on the antient power of thejustices to fix and settle these wages every year, making properallowances for the scarcity and plenty of the times, the cheapness anddearness of the place; and that _the usual and accustomed wages_ arewords without any force or meaning, when there are no such; but everyman spunges and raps whatever he can get; and will haggle as long andstruggle as hard to cheat his employer of twopence in a day's labour asan honest tradesman will to cheat his customers of the same sum in ayard of cloth or silk.
It is a great pity then that this power, or rather this practice, wasnot revived; but, this having been so long omitted that it is becomeobsolete, will be best done by a new law, in which this power, as wellas the consequent power of forcing the poor to labour at a moderate andreasonable rate, should be well considered and their executionfacilitated; for gentlemen who give their time and labour _gratis_, andeven voluntarily, to the public, have a right to expect that all theirbusiness be made as easy as possible; and to enact laws without doingthis is to fill our statute-books, much too full already, still fullerwith dead letter, of no use but to the printer of the acts ofparliament.
That the evil which I have here pointed at is of itself worthredressing, is, I apprehend, no subject of dispute; for why should anypersons in distress be deprived of the assistance of theirfellow-subjects, when they are willing amply to reward them for theirlabour? or, why should the lowest of the people be permitted to exactten times the value of their work? For those exactions encrease with thedegrees of necessity in their object, insomuch that on the former sidemany are horribly imposed upon, and that often in no trifling matters. Iwas very
well assured that at Deal no less than ten guineas wasrequired, and paid by the supercargo of an Indiaman, for carrying him onboard two miles from the shore when she was just ready to sail; so thathis necessity, as his pillager well understood, was absolute. Again,many others, whose indignation will not submit to such plunder, areforced to refuse the assistance, though they are often great sufferersby so doing. On the latter side, the lowest of the people are encouragedin laziness and idleness; while they live by a twentieth part of thelabour that ought to maintain them, which is diametrically opposite tothe interest of the public; for that requires a great deal to be done,not to be paid, for a little. And moreover, they are confirmed in habitsof exaction, and are taught to consider the distresses of theirsuperiors as their own fair emolument.
But enough of this matter, of which I at first intended only to convey ahint to those who are alone capable of applying the remedy, though theyare the last to whom the notice of those evils would occur, without somesuch monitor as myself, who am forced to travel about the world in theform of a passenger. I cannot but say I heartily wish our governorswould attentively consider this method of fixing the price of labour,and by that means of compelling the poor to work, since the dueexecution of such powers will, I apprehend, be found the true and onlymeans of making them useful, and of advancing trade from its presentvisibly declining state to the height to which Sir William Petty, in hisPolitical Arithmetic, thinks it capable of being carried.
In the afternoon the lady of the above-mentioned mansion called at ourinn, and left her compliments to us with Mrs Francis, with an assurancethat while we continued wind-bound in that place, where she feared wecould be but indifferently accommodated, we were extremely welcome tothe use of anything which her garden or her house afforded. So polite amessage convinced us, in spite of some arguments to the contrary, thatwe were not on the coast of Africa, or on some island where the fewsavage inhabitants have little of human in them besides their form.
And here I mean nothing less than to derogate from the merit of thislady, who is not only extremely polite in her behaviour to strangers ofher own rank, but so extremely good and charitable to all her poorneighbours who stand in need of her assistance, that she hath theuniversal love and praises of all who live near her. But, in reality,how little doth the acquisition of so valuable a character, and the fullindulgence of so worthy a disposition, cost those who possess it! Bothare accomplished by the very offals which fall from a table moderatelyplentiful. That they are enjoyed therefore by so few arises truly fromthere being so few who have any such disposition to gratify, or who aimat any such character.
_Wednesday, July 22._--This morning, after having been mulcted as usual,we dispatched a servant with proper acknowledgments of the lady'sgoodness; but confined our wants entirely to the productions of hergarden. He soon returned, in company with the gardener, both richlyladen with almost every particular which a garden at this most fruitfulseason of the year produces.
While we were regaling ourselves with these, towards the close of ourdinner, we received orders from our commander, who had dined that daywith some inferior officers on board a man-of-war, to return instantlyto the ship; for that the wind was become favourable, and he shouldweigh that evening. These orders were soon followed by the captainhimself, who was still in the utmost hurry, though the occasion of ithad long since ceased; for the wind had, indeed, a little shifted thatafternoon, but was before this very quietly set down in its oldquarters.
This last was a lucky hit for me; for, as the captain, to whose orderswe resolved to pay no obedience, unless delivered by himself, did notreturn till past six, so much time seemed requisite to put up thefurniture of our bed-chamber or dining-room, for almost every article,even to some of the chairs, were either our own or the captain'sproperty; so much more in conveying it as well as myself, as dead aluggage as any, to the shore, and thence to the ship, that the nightthreatened first to overtake us. A terrible circumstance to me, in mydecayed condition; especially as very heavy showers of rain, attendedwith a high wind, continued to fall incessantly; the being carriedthrough which two miles in the dark, in a wet and open boat, seemedlittle less than certain death.
However, as my commander was absolute, his orders peremptory, and myobedience necessary, I resolved to avail myself of a philosophy whichhath been of notable use to me in the latter part of my life, and whichis contained in this hemistich of Virgil:--
----Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est.
The meaning of which, if Virgil had any, I think I rightly understood,and rightly applied.
As I was therefore to be entirely passive in my motion, I resolved toabandon myself to the conduct of those who were to carry me into a cartwhen it returned from unloading the goods.
But before this, the captain, perceiving what had happened in theclouds, and that the wind remained as much his enemy as ever, cameupstairs to me with a reprieve till the morning. This was, I own, veryagreeable news, and I little regretted the trouble of refurnishing myapartment, by sending back for the goods.
Mrs Francis was not well pleased with this. As she understood thereprieve to be only till the morning, she saw nothing but lodging to bepossibly added, out of which she was to deduct fire and candle, and theremainder, she thought, would scarce pay her for her trouble. Sheexerted therefore all the ill-humour of which she was mistress, and didall she could to thwart and perplex everything during the whole evening.
_Thursday, July 23._--Early in the morning the captain, who had remainedon shore all night, came to visit us, and to press us to make haste onboard. "I am resolved," says he, "not to lose a moment now the wind iscoming about fair: for my own part, I never was surer of a wind in allmy life." I use his very words; nor will I presume to interpret orcomment upon them farther than by observing that they were spoke in theutmost hurry.
We promised to be ready as soon as breakfast was over, but this was notso soon as was expected; for, in removing our goods the evening before,the tea-chest was unhappily lost.
Every place was immediately searched, and many where it was impossiblefor it to be; for this was a loss of much greater consequence than itmay at first seem to many of my readers. Ladies and valetudinarians donot easily dispense with the use of this sovereign cordial in a singleinstance; but to undertake a long voyage, without any probability ofbeing supplied with it the whole way, was above the reach of patience.And yet, dreadful as this calamity was, it seemed unavoidable. The wholetown of Ryde could not supply a single leaf; for, as to what Mrs Francisand the shop called by that name, it was not of Chinese growth. It didnot indeed in the least resemble tea, either in smell or taste, or inany particular, unless in being a leaf; for it was in truth no otherthan a tobacco of the mundungus species. And as for the hopes of reliefin any other port, they were not to be depended upon, for the captainhad positively declared he was sure of a wind, and would let go hisanchor no more till he arrived in the Tajo.
When a good deal of time had been spent, most of it indeed wasted onthis occasion, a thought occurred which every one wondered at its nothaving presented itself the first moment. This was to apply to the goodlady, who could not fail of pitying and relieving such distress. Amessenger was immediately despatched with an account of our misfortune,till whose return we employed ourselves in preparatives for ourdeparture, that we might have nothing to do but to swallow our breakfastwhen it arrived. The tea-chest, though of no less consequence to us thanthe military-chest to a general, was given up as lost, or rather asstolen; for though I would not, for the world, mention any particularname, it is certain we had suspicions, and all, I am afraid, fell on thesame person.
The man returned from the worthy lady with much expedition, and broughtwith him a canister of tea, despatched with so true a generosity, aswell as politeness, that if our voyage had been as long again we shouldhave incurred no danger of being brought to a short allowance in thismost important article. At the very same instant likewise arrivedWilliam the footman with our own tea-chest. It had been,
indeed, left inthe hoy, when the other goods were re-landed, as William, when he firstheard it was missing, had suspected; and whence, had not the owner ofthe hoy been unluckily out of the way, he had retrieved it soon enoughto have prevented our giving the lady an opportunity of displaying somepart of her goodness.
To search the hoy was, indeed, too natural a suggestion to have escapedany one, nor did it escape being mentioned by many of us; but we weredissuaded from it by my wife's maid, who perfectly well remembered shehad left the chest in the bed-chamber; for that she had never given itout of her hand in her way to or from the hoy; but William perhaps knewthe maid better, and best understood how far she was to be believed; forotherwise he would hardly of his own accord, after hearing herdeclaration, have hunted out the hoy-man, with much pains anddifficulty.
Thus ended this scene, which begun with such appearance of distress, andended with becoming the subject of mirth and laughter.
Nothing now remained but to pay our taxes, which were indeed laid withinconceivable severity. Lodging was raised sixpence, fire in the sameproportion, and even candles, which had hitherto escaped, were chargedwith a wantonness of imposition, from the beginning, and placed underthe stile of oversight. We were raised a whole pound, whereas we hadonly burned ten, in five nights, and the pound consisted of twenty-four.
Lastly, an attempt was made which almost as far exceeds human credulityto believe as it did human patience to submit to. This was to make uspay as much for existing an hour or two as for existing a whole day; anddressing dinner was introduced as an article, though we left the housebefore either pot or spit had approached the fire. Here I own mypatience failed me, and I became an example of the truth of theobservation, "That all tyranny and oppression may be carried too far,and that a yoke may be made too intolerable for the neck of the tamestslave." When I remonstrated, with some warmth, against this grievance,Mrs Francis gave me a look, and left the room without making any answer.She returned in a minute, running to me with pen, ink, and paper, in herhand, and desired me to make my own bill; "for she hoped," she said, "Idid not expect that her house was to be dirtied, and her goods spoiledand consumed, for nothing. The whole is but thirteen shillings. Cangentlefolks lie a whole night at a public-house for less? If they can Iam sure it is time to give off being a landlady: but pay me what youplease; I would have people know that I value money as little as otherfolks. But I was always a fool, as I says to my husband, and never knowswhich side my bread is buttered of. And yet, to be sure, your honourshall be my warning not to be bit so again. Some folks knows better thanother some how to make their bills. Candles! why yes, to be sure; whyshould not travellers pay for candles? I am sure I pays for my candles,and the chandler pays the king's majesty for them; and if he did not Imust, so as it comes to the same thing in the end. To be sure I am outof sixteens at present, but these burn as white and as clear, though notquite so large. I expects my chandler here soon, or I would send toPortsmouth, if your honour was to stay any time longer. But when folksstays only for a wind, you knows there can be no dependence on such!"Here she put on a little slyness of aspect, and seemed willing to submitto interruption. I interrupted her accordingly by throwing down half aguinea, and declared I had no more English money, which was indeedtrue; and, as she could not immediately change the thirty-six shillingpieces, it put a final end to the dispute. Mrs Francis soon left theroom, and we soon after left the house; nor would this good woman see usor wish us a good voyage.
I must not, however, quit this place, where we had been so ill-treated,without doing it impartial justice, and recording what may, with thestrictest truth, be said in its favour.
First, then, as to its situation, it is, I think, most delightful, andin the most pleasant spot in the whole island. It is true it wants theadvantage of that beautiful river which leads from Newport to Cowes; butthe prospect here extending to the sea, and taking in Portsmouth,Spithead, and St Helen's, would be more than a recompence for the lossof the Thames itself, even in the most delightful part of Berkshire orBuckinghamshire, though another Denham, or another Pope, should unite incelebrating it. For my own part, I confess myself so entirely fond of asea prospect, that I think nothing on the land can equal it; and if itbe set off with shipping, I desire to borrow no ornament from the _terrafirma_. A fleet of ships is, in my opinion, the noblest object which theart of man hath ever produced; and far beyond the power of thosearchitects who deal in brick, in stone, or in marble.
When the late Sir Robert Walpole, one of the best of men and ofministers, used to equip us a yearly fleet at Spithead, his enemies oftaste must have allowed that he, at least, treated the nation with afine sight for their money. A much finer, indeed, than the same expencein an encampment could have produced. For what indeed is the best ideawhich the prospect of a number of huts can furnish to the mind, but of anumber of men forming themselves into a society before the art ofbuilding more substantial houses was known? This, perhaps, would beagreeable enough; but, in truth, there is a much worse idea ready tostep in before it, and that is of a body of cut-throats, the supports oftyranny, the invaders of the just liberties and properties of mankind,the plunderers of the industrious, the ravishers of the chaste, themurderers of the innocent, and, in a word, the destroyers of the plenty,the peace, and the safety, of their fellow-creatures.
And what, it may be said, are these men-of-war which seem so delightfulan object to our eyes? Are they not alike the support of tyranny andoppression of innocence, carrying with them desolation and ruin wherevertheir masters please to send them? This is indeed too true; and howeverthe ship of war may, in its bulk and equipment, exceed the honestmerchantman, I heartily wish there was no necessity for it; for, thoughI must own the superior beauty of the object on one side, I am morepleased with the superior excellence of the idea which I can raise in mymind on the other, while I reflect on the art and industry of mankindengaged in the daily improvements of commerce to the mutual benefit ofall countries, and to the establishment and happiness of social life.
This pleasant village is situated on a gentle ascent from the water,whence it affords that charming prospect I have above described. Itssoil is a gravel, which, assisted with its declivity, preserves italways so dry that immediately after the most violent rain a fine ladymay walk without wetting her silken shoes. The fertility of the place isapparent from its extraordinary verdure, and it is so shaded with largeand flourishing elms, that its narrow lanes are a natural grove or walk,which, in the regularity of its plantation, vies with the power of art,and in its wanton exuberancy greatly exceeds it.
In a field in the ascent of this hill, about a quarter of a mile fromthe sea, stands a neat little chapel. It is very small, but adequate tothe number of inhabitants; for the parish doth not seem to contain abovethirty houses.
At about two miles distant from this parish lives that polite and goodlady to whose kindness we were so much obliged. It is placed on a hillwhose bottom is washed by the sea, and which, from its eminence at top,commands a view of great part of the island as well as it does that ofthe opposite shore. This house was formerly built by one Boyce, who,from a blacksmith at Gosport, became possessed, by great success insmuggling, of forty thousand pound. With part of this he purchased anestate here, and, by chance probably, fixed on this spot for building alarge house. Perhaps the convenience of carrying on his business, towhich it is so well adapted, might dictate the situation to him. We canhardly, at least, attribute it to the same taste with which he furnishedhis house, or at least his library, by sending an order to a booksellerin London to pack him up five hundred pounds' worth of his handsomestbooks. They tell here several almost incredible stories of theignorance, the folly, and the pride, which this poor man and his wifediscovered during the short continuance of his prosperity; for he didnot long escape the sharp eyes of the revenue solicitors, and was, byextents from the court of Exchequer, soon reduced below his originalstate to that of confinement in the Fleet. All his effects were sold,and among the rest his books, by an auction
at Portsmouth, for a verysmall price; for the bookseller was now discovered to have beenperfectly a master of his trade, and, relying on Mr Boyce's findinglittle time to read, had sent him not only the most lasting wares ofhis shop, but duplicates of the same, under different titles.
His estate and house were purchased by a gentleman of these parts, whosewidow now enjoys them, and who hath improved them, particularly hergardens, with so elegant a taste, that the painter who would assist hisimagination in the composition of a most exquisite landscape, or thepoet who would describe an earthly paradise, could nowhere furnishthemselves with a richer pattern.
We left this place about eleven in the morning, and were again conveyed,with more sunshine than wind, aboard our ship.
Whence our captain had acquired his power of prophecy, when he promisedus and himself a prosperous wind, I will not determine; it is sufficientto observe that he was a false prophet, and that the weathercockscontinued to point as before.
He would not, however, so easily give up his skill in prediction. Hepersevered in asserting that the wind was changed, and, having weighedhis anchor, fell down that afternoon to St Helen's, which was at aboutthe distance of five miles; and whither his friend the tide, in defianceof the wind, which was most manifestly against him, softly wafted him inas many hours.
Here, about seven in the evening, before which time we could not procureit, we sat down to regale ourselves with some roasted venison, which wasmuch better drest than we imagined it would be, and an excellent coldpasty which my wife had made at Ryde, and which we had reserved uncut toeat on board our ship, whither we all chearfully exulted in beingreturned from the presence of Mrs Francis, who, by the exact resemblanceshe bore to a fury, seemed to have been with no great propriety settledin paradise.
_Friday, July 24._--As we passed by Spithead on the preceding evening wesaw the two regiments of soldiers who were just returned from Gibraltarand Minorca; and this day a lieutenant belonging to one of them, who wasthe captain's nephew, came to pay a visit to his uncle. He was what iscalled by some a very pretty fellow; indeed, much too pretty a fellow athis years; for he was turned of thirty-four, though his address andconversation would have become him more before he had reached twenty. Inhis conversation, it is true, there was something military enough, as itconsisted chiefly of oaths, and of the great actions and wise sayings ofJack, and Will, and Tom of our regiment, a phrase eternally in hismouth; and he seemed to conclude that it conveyed to all the officerssuch a degree of public notoriety and importance that it intitled him,like the head of a profession, or a first minister, to be the subject ofconversation among those who had not the least personal acquaintancewith him. This did not much surprise me, as I have seen several examplesof the same; but the defects in his address, especially to the women,were so great that they seemed absolutely inconsistent with thebehaviour of a pretty fellow, much less of one in a red coat; and yet,besides having been eleven years in the army, he had had, as his uncleinformed me, an education in France. This, I own, would have appeared tohave been absolutely thrown away had not his animal spirits, which werelikewise thrown away upon him in great abundance, borne the visiblestamp of the growth of that country. The character to which he had anindisputable title was that of a merry fellow; so very merry was he thathe laughed at everything he said, and always before he spoke. Possibly,indeed, he often laughed at what he did not utter, for every speechbegun with a laugh, though it did not always end with a jest. There wasno great analogy between the characters of the uncle and the nephew, andyet they seemed intirely to agree in enjoying the honour which thered-coat did to his family. This the uncle expressed with great pleasurein his countenance, and seemed desirous of shewing all present thehonour which he had for his nephew, who, on his side, was at some painsto convince us of his concurring in this opinion, and at the same timeof displaying the contempt he had for the parts, as well as theoccupation, of his uncle, which he seemed to think reflected somedisgrace on himself, who was a member of that profession which makesevery man a gentleman. Not that I would be understood to insinuate thatthe nephew endeavoured to shake off or disown his uncle, or indeed tokeep him at any distance. On the contrary, he treated him with theutmost familiarity, often calling him Dick, and dear Dick, and old Dick,and frequently beginning an oration with D----n me, Dick.
All this condescension on the part of the young man was received withsuitable marks of complaisance and obligation by the old one; especiallywhen it was attended with evidences of the same familiarity with generalofficers and other persons of rank; one of whom, in particular, I knowto have the pride and insolence of the devil himself, and who, withoutsome strong bias of interest, is no more liable to converse familiarlywith a lieutenant than of being mistaken in his judgment of a fool;which was not, perhaps, so certainly the case of the worthy lieutenant,who, in declaring to us the qualifications which recommended men to hiscountenance and conversation, as well as what effectually set a bar toall hopes of that honour, exclaimed, "No, sir, by the d--I hate allfools--No, d----n me, excuse me for that. That's a little too much, oldDick. There are two or three officers of our regiment whom I know to befools; but d----n me if I am ever seen in their company. If a man hath afool of a relation, Dick, you know he can't help that, old boy."
Such jokes as these the old man not only took in good part, but gliblygulped down the whole narrative of his nephew; nor did he, I amconvinced, in the least doubt of our as readily swallowing the same.This made him so charmed with the lieutenant, that it is probable weshould have been pestered with him the whole evening, had not the northwind, dearer to our sea-captain even than this glory of his family,sprung suddenly up, and called aloud to him to weigh his anchor.
While this ceremony was performing, the sea-captain ordered out his boatto row the land-captain to shore; not indeed on an uninhabited island,but one which, in this part, looked but little better, not presenting usthe view of a single house. Indeed, our old friend, when his boatreturned on shore, perhaps being no longer able to stifle his envy ofthe superiority of his nephew, told us with a smile that the young manhad a good five mile to walk before he could be accommodated with apassage to Portsmouth.
It appeared now that the captain had been only mistaken in the date ofhis prediction, by placing the event a day earlier than it happened; forthe wind which now arose was not only favourable but brisk, and was nosooner in reach of our sails than it swept us away by the back of theIsle of Wight, and, having in the night carried us by Christchurch andPeveral-point, brought us the next noon, _Saturday, July 25_, off theisland of Portland, so famous for the smallness and sweetness of itsmutton, of which a leg seldom weighs four pounds. We would have bought asheep, but our captain would not permit it; though he needed not havebeen in such a hurry, for presently the wind, I will not positivelyassert in resentment of his surliness, shewed him a dog's trick, andslily slipt back again to his summer-house in the south-west.
The captain now grew outrageous, and, declaring open war with the wind,took a resolution, rather more bold than wise, of sailing in defiance ofit, and in its teeth. He swore he would let go his anchor no more, butwould beat the sea while he had either yard or sail left. He accordinglystood from the shore, and made so large a tack that before night, thoughhe seemed to advance but little on his way, he was got out of sight ofland.
Towards the evening the wind began, in the captain's own language, andindeed it freshened so much, that before ten it blew a perfecthurricane.
The captain having got, as he supposed, to a safe distance, tacked againtowards the English shore; and now the wind veered a point only in hisfavour, and continued to blow with such violence, that the ship ranabove eight knots or miles an hour during this whole day and tempestuousnight till bed-time. I was obliged to betake myself once more to mysolitude, for my women were again all down in their sea-sickness, andthe captain was busy on deck; for he began to grow uneasy, chiefly, Ibelieve, because he did not well know where he was, and would, I amconvinced, have been very glad to have
been in Portland-road, eatingsome sheep's-head broth.
Having contracted no great degree of good-humour by living a whole dayalone, without a single soul to converse with, I took but ill physic topurge it off, by a bed-conversation with the captain, who, amongst manybitter lamentations of his fate, and protesting he had more patiencethan a Job, frequently intermixed summons to the commanding officer onthe deck, who now happened to be one Morrison, a carpenter, the onlyfellow that had either common sense or common civility in the ship. OfMorrison he enquired every quarter of an hour concerning the state ofaffairs: the wind, the care of the ship, and other matters ofnavigation. The frequency of these summons, as well as the solicitudewith which they were made, sufficiently testified the state of thecaptain's mind; he endeavoured to conceal it, and would have given nosmall alarm to a man who had either not learnt what it is to die, orknown what it is to be miserable. And my dear wife and child must pardonme, if what I did not conceive to be any great evil to myself I was notmuch terrified with the thoughts of happening to them; in truth, I haveoften thought they are both too good and too gentle to be trusted to thepower of any man I know, to whom they could possibly be so trusted.
Can I say then I had no fear? indeed I cannot. Reader, I was afraid forthee, lest thou shouldst have been deprived of that pleasure thou artnow enjoying; and that I should not live to draw out on paper thatmilitary character which thou didst peruse in the journal of yesterday.
From all these fears we were relieved, at six in the morning, by thearrival of Mr Morrison, who acquainted us that he was sure he beheldland very near; for he could not see half a mile, by reason of thehaziness of the weather. This land he said was, he believed, theBerry-head, which forms one side of Torbay: the captain declared that itwas impossible, and swore, on condition he was right, he would give himhis mother for a maid. A forfeit which became afterwards strictly dueand payable; for the captain, whipping on his night-gown, ran up withouthis breeches, and within half an hour returning into the cabin, wishedme joy of our lying safe at anchor in the bay.
_Sunday, July 26._--Things now began to put on an aspect very differentfrom what they had lately worn; the news that the ship had almost lostits mizen, and that we had procured very fine clouted cream and freshbread and butter from the shore, restored health and spirits to ourwomen, and we all sat down to a very chearful breakfast.
But, however pleasant our stay promised to be here, we were all desirousit should be short: I resolved immediately to despatch my man into thecountry to purchase a present of cider, for my friends of that which iscalled Southam, as well as to take with me a hogshead of it to Lisbon;for it is, in my opinion, much more delicious than that which is thegrowth of Herefordshire. I purchased three hogsheads for five pounds tenshillings, all which I should have scarce thought worth mentioning, hadI not believed it might be of equal service to the honest farmer whosold it me, and who is by the neighbouring gentlemen reputed to deal inthe very best; and to the reader, who, from ignorance of the means ofproviding better for himself, swallows at a dearer rate the juice ofMiddlesex turnip, instead of that Vinum Pomonae which Mr Giles Leveranceof Cheeshurst, near Dartmouth in Devon, will, at the price of fortyshillings per hogshead, send in double casks to any part of the world.Had the wind been very sudden in shifting, I had lost my cider by anattempt of a boatman to exact, according to custom. He required fiveshillings for conveying my man a mile and a half to the shore, and fourmore if he staid to bring him back. This I thought to be suchinsufferable impudence that I ordered him to be immediately chased fromthe ship, without any answer. Indeed, there are few inconveniences thatI would not rather encounter than encourage the insolent demands ofthese wretches, at the expence of my own indignation, of which I ownthey are not the only objects, but rather those who purchase a paultryconvenience by encouraging them. But of this I have already spoken verylargely. I shall conclude, therefore, with the leave which this fellowtook of our ship; saying he should know it again, and would not put offfrom the shore to relieve it in any distress whatever.
It will, doubtless, surprise many of my readers to hear that, when welay at anchor within a mile or two of a town several days together, andeven in the most temperate weather, we should frequently want freshprovisions and herbage, and other emoluments of the shore, as much as ifwe had been a hundred leagues from land. And this too while numbers ofboats were in our sight, whose owners get their livelihood by rowingpeople up and down, and could be at any time summoned by a signal to ourassistance, and while the captain had a little boat of his own, with menalways ready to row it at his command.
This, however, hath been partly accounted for already by the imposingdisposition of the people, who asked so much more than the proper priceof their labour. And as to the usefulness of the captain's boat, itrequires to be a little expatiated upon, as it will tend to lay opensome of the grievances which demand the utmost regard of ourlegislature, as they affect the most valuable part of the king'ssubjects--those by whom the commerce of the nation is carried intoexecution.
Our captain then, who was a very good and experienced seaman, havingbeen above thirty years the master of a vessel, part of which he hadserved, so he phrased it, as commander of a privateer, and haddischarged himself with great courage and conduct, and with as greatsuccess, discovered the utmost aversion to the sending his boat ashorewhenever we lay wind-bound in any of our harbours. This aversion did notarise from any fear of wearing out his boat by using it, but was, intruth, the result of experience, that it was easier to send his men onshore than to recal them. They acknowledged him to be their master whilethey remained on shipboard, but did not allow his power to extend to theshores, where they had no sooner set their foot than every man became_sui juris_, and thought himself at full liberty to return when hepleased. Now it is not any delight that these fellows have in the freshair or verdant fields on the land. Every one of them would prefer hisship and his hammock to all the sweets of Arabia the Happy; but,unluckily for them, there are in every seaport in England certain houseswhose chief livelihood depends on providing entertainment for thegentlemen of the jacket. For this purpose they are always well furnishedwith those cordial liquors which do immediately inspire the heart withgladness, banishing all careful thoughts, and indeed all others, fromthe mind, and opening the mouth with songs of chearfulness andthanksgiving for the many wonderful blessings with which a sea-faringlife overflows.
For my own part, however whimsical it may appear, I confess I havethought the strange story of Circe in the Odyssey no other than aningenious allegory, in which Homer intended to convey to his countrymenthe same kind of instruction which we intend to communicate to our ownin this digression. As teaching the art of war to the Greeks was theplain design of the Iliad, so was teaching them the art of navigationthe no less manifest intention of the Odyssey. For the improvement ofthis, their situation was most excellently adapted; and accordingly wefind Thucydides, in the beginning of his history, considers the Greeksas a sett of pirates or privateers, plundering each other by sea. Thisbeing probably the first institution of commerce before the ArsCauponaria was invented, and merchants, instead of robbing, began tocheat and outwit each other, and by degrees changed the Metabletic, theonly kind of traffic allowed by Aristotle in his Politics, into theChrematistic.
By this allegory then I suppose Ulysses to have been the captain of amerchant-ship, and Circe some good ale-wife, who made his crew drunkwith the spirituous liquors of those days. With this the transformationinto swine, as well as all other incidents of the fable, will notablyagree; and thus a key will be found out for unlocking the whole mystery,and forging at least some meaning to a story which, at present, appearsvery strange and absurd.
Hence, moreover, will appear the very near resemblance between thesea-faring men of all ages and nations; and here perhaps may beestablished the truth and justice of that observation, which will occuroftener than once in this voyage, that all human flesh is not the sameflesh, but that there is one kind of flesh of landmen, and anothe
r ofseamen.
Philosophers, divines, and others, who have treated the gratification ofhuman appetites with contempt, have, among other instances, insistedvery strongly on that satiety which is so apt to overtake them even inthe very act of enjoyment. And here they more particularly deserve ourattention, as most of them may be supposed to speak from their ownexperience, and very probably gave us their lessons with a full stomach.Thus hunger and thirst, whatever delight they may afford while we areeating and drinking, pass both away from us with the plate and the cup;and though we should imitate the Romans, if, indeed, they were suchdull beasts, which I can scarce believe, to unload the belly like adung-pot, in order to fill it again with another load, yet would thepleasure be so considerably lessened that it would scarce repay us thetrouble of purchasing it with swallowing a bason of camomile tea. Asecond haunch of venison, or a second dose of turtle, would hardlyallure a city glutton with its smell. Even the celebrated Jew himself,when well filled with calipash and calipee, goes contentedly home totell his money, and expects no more pleasure from his throat during thenext twenty-four hours. Hence I suppose Dr South took that elegantcomparison of the joys of a speculative man to the solemn silence of anArchimedes over a problem, and those of a glutton to the stillness of asow at her wash. A simile which, if it became the pulpit at all, couldonly become it in the afternoon.
Whereas in those potations which the mind seems to enjoy, rather thanthe bodily appetite, there is happily no such satiety; but the more aman drinks, the more he desires; as if, like Mark Anthony in Dryden, hisappetite encreased with feeding, and this to such an immoderate degree,_ut nullus sit desiderio aut pudor aut modus_. Hence, as with the gangof Captain Ulysses, ensues so total a transformation, that the man nomore continues what he was. Perhaps he ceases for a time to be at all;or, though he may retain the same outward form and figure he had before,yet is his nobler part, as we are taught to call it, so changed, that,instead of being the same man, he scarce remembers what he was a fewhours before. And this transformation, being once obtained, is so easilypreserved by the same potations, which induced no satiety, that thecaptain in vain sends or goes in quest of his crew. They know him nolonger; or, if they do, they acknowledge not his power, having indeedas entirely forgotten themselves as if they had taken a large draught ofthe river of Lethe.
Nor is the captain always sure of even finding out the place to whichCirce hath conveyed them. There are many of those houses in everyport-town. Nay, there are some where the sorceress doth not trust onlyto her drugs; but hath instruments of a different kind to execute herpurposes, by whose means the tar is effectually secreted from theknowledge and pursuit of his captain. This would, indeed, be very fatal,was it not for one circumstance; that the sailor is seldom provided withthe proper bait for these harpies. However, the contrary sometimeshappens, as these harpies will bite at almost anything, and will snap ata pair of silver buttons, or buckles, as surely as at the specie itself.Nay, sometimes they are so voracious, that the very naked hook will godown, and the jolly young sailor is sacrificed for his own sake.
In vain, at such a season as this, would the vows of a pious heathenhave prevailed over Neptune, AEolus, or any other marine deity. In vainwould the prayers of a Christian captain be attended with the likesuccess. The wind may change how it pleases while all hands are onshore; the anchor would remain firm in the ground, and the ship wouldcontinue in durance, unless, like other forcible prison-breakers, itforcibly got loose for no good purpose.
Now, as the favour of winds and courts, and such like, is always to belaid hold on at the very first motion, for within twenty-four hours allmay be changed again; so, in the former case, the loss of a day may bethe loss of a voyage: for, though it may appear to persons not wellskilled in navigation, who see ships meet and sail by each other, thatthe wind sometimes east and west, north and south, backwards andforwards, at the same instant; yet, certain it is that the land is socontrived, that even the same wind will not, like the same horse, alwaysbring a man to the end of his journey; but, that the gale which themariner prayed heartily for yesterday, he may as heartily deprecateto-morrow; while all use and benefit which would have arisen to him fromthe westerly wind of to-morrow may be totally lost and thrown away byneglecting the offer of the easterly blast which blows to-day.
Hence ensues grief and disreputation to the innocent captain, loss anddisappointment to the worthy merchant, and not seldom great prejudice tothe trade of a nation whose manufactures are thus liable to lie unsoldin a foreign warehouse, the market being forestalled by some rival whosesailors are under a better discipline. To guard against theseinconveniences the prudent captain takes every precaution in his power;he makes the strongest contracts with his crew, and thereby binds themso firmly, that none but the greatest or least of men can break throughthem with impunity; but for one of these two reasons, which I will notdetermine, the sailor, like his brother fish the eel, is too slippery tobe held, and plunges into his element with perfect impunity.
To speak a plain truth, there is no trusting to any contract with onewhom the wise citizens of London call a bad man; for, with such a one,though your bond be ever so strong, it will prove in the end good fornothing.
What then is to be done in this case? What, indeed, but to call in theassistance of that tremendous magistrate, the justice of peace, who can,and often doth, lay good and bad men in equal durance; and, though heseldom cares to stretch his bonds to what is great, never finds anythingtoo minute for their detention, but will hold the smallest reptilealive so fast in his noose, that he can never get out till he is letdrop through it.
Why, therefore, upon the breach of those contracts, should not animmediate application be made to the nearest magistrate of this order,who should be empowered to convey the delinquent either to ship or toprison, at the election of the captain, to be fettered by the leg ineither place?
But, as the case now stands, the condition of this poor captain withoutany commission, and of this absolute commander without any power, ismuch worse than we have hitherto shewn it to be; for, notwithstandingall the aforesaid contracts to sail in the good ship the Elizabeth, ifthe sailor should, for better wages, find it more his interest to go onboard the better ship the Mary, either before their setting out or ontheir speedy meeting in some port, he may prefer the latter without anyother danger than that of "doing what he ought not to have done,"contrary to a rule which he is seldom Christian enough to have much atheart, while the captain is generally too good a Christian to punish aman out of revenge only, when he is to be at a considerable expense forso doing. There are many other deficiencies in our laws relating tomaritime affairs, and which would probably have been long sincecorrected, had we any seamen in the House of Commons. Not that I wouldinsinuate that the legislature wants a supply of many gentlemen in thesea-service; but, as these gentlemen are by their attendance in thehouse unfortunately prevented from ever going to sea, and there learningwhat they might communicate to their landed brethren, these latterremain as ignorant in that branch of knowledge as they would be if nonebut courtiers and fox-hunters had been elected into parliament, withouta single fish among them. The following seems to me to be an effect ofthis kind, and it strikes me the stronger as I remember the case to havehappened, and remember it to have been dispunishable. A captain of atrading vessel, of which he was part owner, took in a large freight ofoats at Liverpool, consigned to the market at Bearkey: this he carriedto a port in Hampshire, and there sold it as his own, and, freightinghis vessel with wheat for the port of Cadiz, in Spain, dropt it atOporto in his way; and there, selling it for his own use, took in alading of wine, with which he sailed again, and, having converted it inthe same manner, together with a large sum of money with which he wasintrusted, for the benefit of certain merchants, sold the ship and cargoin another port, and then wisely sat down contented with the fortune hehad made, and returned to London to enjoy the remainder of his days,with the fruits of his former labours and a good conscience.
The sum he brought
home with him consisted of near six thousand pounds,all in specie, and most of it in that coin which Portugal distributes soliberally over Europe.
He was not yet old enough to be past all sense of pleasure, nor sopuffed up with the pride of his good fortune as to overlook his oldacquaintances the journeymen taylors, from among whom he had beenformerly pressed into the sea-service, and, having there laid thefoundation of his future success by his shares in prizes, had afterwardsbecome captain of a trading vessel, in which he purchased an interest,and had soon begun to trade in the honourable manner above mentioned.
The captain now took up his residence at an ale-house in Drury-lane,where, having all his money by him in a trunk, he spent about fivepounds a day among his old friends the gentlemen and ladies of thoseparts.
The merchant of Liverpool, having luckily had notice from a friendduring the blaze of his fortune, did, by the assistance of a justice ofpeace, without the assistance of the law, recover his whole loss. Thecaptain, however, wisely chose to refund no more; but, perceiving withwhat hasty strides Envy was pursuing his fortune, he took speedy meansto retire out of her reach, and to enjoy the rest of his wealth in aninglorious obscurity; nor could the same justice overtake him timeenough to assist a second merchant as he had done the first.
This was a very extraordinary case, and the more so as the ingeniousgentleman had steered entirely clear of all crimes in our law.
Now, how it comes about that a robbery so very easy to be committed, andto which there is such immediate temptation always before the eyes ofthese fellows, should receive the encouragement of impunity, is to beaccounted for only from the oversight of the legislature, as thatoversight can only be, I think, derived from the reasons I have assignedfor it.
But I will dwell no longer on this subject. If what I have here saidshould seem of sufficient consequence to engage the attention of any manin power, and should thus be the means of applying any remedy to themost inveterate evils, at least, I have obtained my whole desire, andshall have lain so long wind-bound in the ports of this kingdom to somepurpose. I would, indeed, have this work--which, if I should live tofinish it, a matter of no great certainty, if indeed of any great hopeto me, will be probably the last I shall ever undertake--to produce somebetter end than the mere diversion of the reader.
_Monday._--This day our captain went ashore, to dine with a gentlemanwho lives in these parts, and who so exactly resembles the charactergiven by Homer of Axylus, that the only difference I can trace betweenthem is, the one, living by the highway, erected his hospitality chieflyin favour of land-travellers; and the other, living by the water-side,gratified his humanity by accommodating the wants of the mariner.
In the evening our commander received a visit from a brother bashaw, wholay wind-bound in the same harbour. This latter captain was a Swiss. Hewas then master of a vessel bound to Guinea, and had formerly been aprivateering, when our own hero was employed in the same laudableservice. The honesty and freedom of the Switzer, his vivacity, in whichhe was in no respect inferior to his near neighbours the French, theaukward and affected politeness, which was likewise of Frenchextraction, mixed with the brutal roughness of the English tar--for hehad served under the colours of this nation and his crew had been of thesame--made such an odd variety, such a hotchpotch of character, that Ishould have been much diverted with him, had not his voice, which was asloud as a speaking-trumpet, unfortunately made my head ach. The noisewhich he conveyed into the deaf ears of his brother captain, who sat onone side of him, the soft addresses with which, mixed with aukward bows,he saluted the ladies on the other, were so agreeably contrasted, that aman must not only have been void of all taste of humour, and insensibleof mirth, but duller than Cibber is represented in the Dunciad, whocould be unentertained with him a little while; for, I confess, suchentertainments should always be very short, as they are very liable topall. But he suffered not this to happen at present; for, having givenus his company a quarter of an hour only, he retired, after manyapologies for the shortness of his visit.
_Tuesday._--The wind being less boisterous than it had hitherto beensince our arrival here, several fishing-boats, which the tempestuousweather yesterday had prevented from working, came on board us withfish. This was so fresh, so good in kind, and so very cheap, that wesupplied ourselves in great numbers, among which were very large solesat fourpence a pair, and whitings of almost a preposterous size atninepence a score.
The only fish which bore any price was a john doree, as it is called. Ibought one of at least four pounds weight for as many shillings. Itresembles a turbot in shape, but exceeds it in firmness and flavour. Theprice had the appearance of being considerable when opposed to theextraordinary cheapness of others of value, but was, in truth, so veryreasonable when estimated by its goodness, that it left me under noother surprise than how the gentlemen of this country, not greatlyeminent for the delicacy of their taste, had discovered the preferenceof the doree to all other fish: but I was informed that Mr Quin, whosedistinguishing tooth hath been so justly celebrated, had lately visitedPlymouth, and had done those honours to the doree which are so justlydue to it from that sect of modern philosophers who, with Sir EpicureMammon, or Sir Epicure Quin, their head, seem more to delight in afish-pond than in a garden, as the old Epicureans are said to have done.
Unfortunately for the fishmongers of London, the doree resides only inthose seas; for, could any of this company but convey one to the templeof luxury under the Piazza, where Macklin the high-priest daily servesup his rich offerings to that goddess, great would be the reward of thatfishmonger, in blessings poured down upon him from the goddess, as greatwould his merit be towards the high-priest, who could never be thoughtto overrate such valuable incense.
And here, having mentioned the extreme cheapness of fish in theDevonshire sea, and given some little hint of the extreme dearness withwhich this commodity is dispensed by those who deal in it in London, Icannot pass on without throwing forth an observation or two, with thesame view with which I have scattered my several remarks through thisvoyage, sufficiently satisfied in having finished my life, as I haveprobably lost it, in the service of my country, from the best ofmotives, though it should be attended with the worst of success. Meansare always in our power; ends are very seldom so.
Of all the animal foods with which man is furnished, there are none soplenty as fish. A little rivulet, that glides almost unperceived througha vast tract of rich land, will support more hundreds with the flesh ofits inhabitants than the meadow will nourish individuals. But if this betrue of rivers, it is much truer of the seashores, which abound withsuch immense variety of fish that the curious fisherman, after he hathmade his draught, often culls only the daintiest part and leaves therest of his prey to perish on the shore.
If this be true it would appear, I think, that there is nothing whichmight be had in such abundance, and consequently so cheap, as fish, ofwhich Nature seems to have provided such inexhaustible stores with somepeculiar design. In the production of terrestrial animals she proceedswith such slowness, that in the larger kind a single female seldomproduces more than one a-year, and this again requires three, four, orfive years more to bring it to perfection. And though the lesserquadrupeds, those of the wild kind particularly, with the birds, domultiply much faster, yet can none of these bear any proportion with theaquatic animals, of whom every female matrix is furnished with an annualoffspring almost exceeding the power of numbers, and which, in manyinstances at least, a single year is capable of bringing to some degreeof maturity.
What then ought in general to be so plentiful, what so cheap, as fish?What then so properly the food of the poor? So in many places they are,and so might they always be in great cities, which are always situatednear the sea, or on the conflux of large rivers. How comes it then, tolook no farther abroad for instances, that in our city of London thecase is so far otherwise that, except that of sprats, there is not onepoor palate in a hundred that knows the taste of fish?
It is true indeed that
this taste is generally of such excellent flavourthat it exceeds the power of French cookery to treat the palates of therich with anything more exquisitely delicate; so that was fish thecommon food of the poor it might put them too much upon an equality withtheir betters in the great article of eating, in which, at present, inthe opinion of some, the great difference in happiness between man andman consists. But this argument I shall treat with the utmost disdain:for if ortolans were as big as bustards, and at the same time as plentyas sparrows, I should hold it yet reasonable to indulge the poor withthe dainty, and that for this cause especially, that the rich would soonfind a sparrow, if as scarce as an ortolan, to be much the greater, asit would certainly be the rarer, dainty of the two.
Vanity or scarcity will be always the favourite of luxury; but honesthunger will be satisfied with plenty. Not to search deeper into thecause of the evil, I should think it abundantly sufficient to proposethe remedies of it. And, first, I humbly submit the absolute necessityof immediately hanging all the fishmongers within the bills ofmortality; and, however it might have been some time ago the opinion ofmild and temporizing men that the evil complained of might be removedby gentler methods, I suppose at this day there are none who do not seethe impossibility of using such with any effect. _Cuncta prius tentanda_might have been formerly urged with some plausibility, but _cuncta priustentata_ may now be replied: for surely, if a few monopolizingfishmongers could defeat that excellent scheme of the Westminstermarket, to the erecting which so many justices of peace, as well asother wise and learned men, did so vehemently apply themselves, thatthey might be truly said not only to have laid the whole strength oftheir heads, but of their shoulders too, to the business, it would be avain endeavour for any other body of men to attempt to remove sostubborn a nusance.
If it should be doubted whether we can bring this case within the letterof any capital law now subsisting, I am ashamed to own it cannot; forsurely no crime better deserves such punishment; but the remedy may,nevertheless, be immediate; and if a law was made at the beginning ofnext session, to take place immediately, by which the starving thousandsof poor was declared to be felony, without benefit of clergy, thefishmongers would be hanged before the end of the session.
A second method of filling the mouths of the poor, if not with loaves atleast with fishes, is to desire the magistrates to carry into executionone at least out of near a hundred acts of parliament, for preservingthe small fry of the river of Thames, by which means as few fish wouldsatisfy thousands as may now be devoured by a small number ofindividuals. But while a fisherman can break through the strongestmeshes of an act of parliament, we may be assured he will learn so tocontrive his own meshes that the smallest fry will not be able to swimthrough them.
Other methods may, we doubt not, be suggested by those who shallattentively consider the evil here hinted at; but we have dwelt too longon it already, and shall conclude with observing that it is difficult toaffirm whether the atrocity of the evil itself, the facility of curingit, or the shameful neglect of the cure, be the more scandalous or moreastonishing.
After having, however, gloriously regaled myself with this food, I waswashing it down with some good claret with my wife and her friend, inthe cabin, when the captain's valet-de-chambre, head cook, house andship steward, footman in livery and out on't, secretary and fore-mastman, all burst into the cabin at once, being, indeed, all but oneperson, and, without saying by your leave, began to pack half a hogsheadof small beer in bottles, the necessary consequence of which must havebeen either a total stop to conversation at that chearful season when itis most agreeable, or the admitting that polyonymous officer aforesaidto the participation of it. I desired him therefore to delay his purposea little longer, but he refused to grant my request; nor was heprevailed on to quit the room till he was threatened with having onebottle to pack more than his number, which then happened to stand emptywithin my reach.
With these menaces he retired at last, but not without muttering somemenaces on his side, and which, to our great terror, he failed not toput into immediate execution.
Our captain was gone to dinner this day with his Swiss brother; and,though he was a very sober man, was a little elevated with somechampagne, which, as it cost the Swiss little or nothing, he dispensedat his table more liberally than our hospitable English noblemen putabout those bottles, which the ingenious Peter Taylor teaches a ledcaptain to avoid by distinguishing by the name of that generous liquor,which all humble companions are taught to postpone to the flavour ofmethuen, or honest port.
While our two captains were thus regaling themselves, and celebratingtheir own heroic exploits with all the inspiration which the liquor, atleast, of wit could afford them, the polyonymous officer arrived, and,being saluted by the name of Honest Tom, was ordered to sit down andtake his glass before he delivered his message; for every sailor is byturns his captain's mate over a cann, except only that captain bashawwho presides in a man-of-war, and who upon earth has no other mate,unless it be another of the same bashaws.
Tom had no sooner swallowed his draught than he hastily began hisnarrative, and faithfully related what had happened on board our ship;we say faithfully, though from what happened it may be suspected thatTom chose to add perhaps only five or six immaterial circumstances, asis always I believe the case, and may possibly have been done by me inrelating this very story, though it happened not many hours ago.
No sooner was the captain informed of the interruption which had beengiven to his officer, and indeed to his orders, for he thought no timeso convenient as that of his absence for causing any confusion in thecabin, than he leapt with such haste from his chair that he had like tohave broke his sword, with which he always begirt himself when he walkedout of his ship, and sometimes when he walked about in it; at the sametime, grasping eagerly that other implement called a cockade, whichmodern soldiers wear on their helmets with the same view as the antientsdid their crests--to terrify the enemy, he muttered something, but soinarticulately that the word _damn_ was only intelligible; he thenhastily took leave of the Swiss captain, who was too well bred to presshis stay on such an occasion, and leapt first from the ship to hisboat, and then from his boat to his own ship, with as much fiercenessin his looks as he had ever expressed on boarding his defenceless preyin the honourable calling of a privateer.
Having regained the middle deck, he paused a moment while Tom and othersloaded themselves with bottles, and then descending into the cabinexclaimed with a thundering voice, "D--n me, why arn't the bottles stoedin, according to my orders?"
I answered him very mildly that I had prevented his man from doing it,as it was at an inconvenient time to me, and as in his absence, atleast, I esteemed the cabin to be my own. "Your cabin!" repeated he manytimes; "no, d----n me! 'tis my cabin. Your cabin! d----n me! I have broughtmy hogs to a fair market. I suppose indeed you think it your cabin, andyour ship, by your commanding in it; but I will command in it, d----n me!I will shew the world I am the commander, and nobody but I! Did youthink I sold you the command of my ship for that pitiful thirty pounds?I wish I had not seen you nor your thirty pounds aboard of her." He thenrepeated the words thirty pounds often, with great disdain, and with acontempt which I own the sum did not seem to deserve in my eye, eitherin itself or on the present occasion; being, indeed, paid for thefreight of ---- weight of human flesh, which is above fifty per cent.dearer than the freight of any other luggage, whilst in reality it takesup less room; in fact, no room at all.
In truth, the sum was paid for nothing more than for a liberty to sixpersons (two of them servants) to stay on board a ship while she sailsfrom one port to another, every shilling of which comes clear into thecaptain's pocket. Ignorant people may perhaps imagine, especially whenthey are told that the captain is obliged to sustain them, that theirdiet at least is worth something, which may probably be now and then sofar the case as to deduct a tenth part from the neat profits on thisaccount; but it was otherwise at present; for when I had contracted withthe captain at a price w
hich I by no means thought moderate, I had somecontent in thinking I should have no more to pay for my voyage; but Iwas whispered that it was expected the passengers should find themselvesin several things; such as tea, wine, and such like; and particularlythat gentlemen should stowe of the latter a much larger quantity thanthey could use, in order to leave the remainder as a present to thecaptain at the end of the voyage; and it was expected likewise thatgentlemen should put aboard some fresh stores, and the more of suchthings were put aboard the welcomer they would be to the captain.
I was prevailed with by these hints to follow the advice proposed; andaccordingly, besides tea and a large hamper of wine, with several hamsand tongues, I caused a number of live chickens and sheep to be conveyedaboard; in truth, treble the quantity of provisions which would havesupported the persons I took with me, had the voyage continued threeweeks, as it was supposed, with a bare possibility, it might.
Indeed it continued much longer; but as this was occasioned by our beingwind-bound in our own ports, it was by no means of any ill consequenceto the captain, as the additional stores of fish, fresh meat, butter,bread, &c., which I constantly laid in, greatly exceeded theconsumption, and went some way in maintaining the ship's crew. It istrue I was not obliged to do this; but it seemed to be expected; for thecaptain did not think himself obliged to do it, and I can truly say Isoon ceased to expect it of him. He had, I confess, on board a number offowls and ducks sufficient for a West India voyage; all of them, as heoften said, "Very fine birds, and of the largest breed." This I believewas really the fact, and I can add that they were all arrived at thefull perfection of their size. Nor was there, I am convinced, any wantof provisions of a more substantial kind; such as dried beef, pork, andfish; so that the captain seemed ready to perform his contract, andamply to provide for his passengers. What I did then was not fromnecessity, but, perhaps, from a less excusable motive, and was by nomeans chargeable to the account of the captain.
But, let the motive have been what it would, the consequence was stillthe same; and this was such that I am firmly persuaded the whole pitifulthirty pounds came pure and neat into the captain's pocket, and not onlyso, but attended with the value of ten pound more in sundries into thebargain. I must confess myself therefore at a loss how the epithet_pitiful_ came to be annexed to the above sum; for, not being a pitifulprice for what it was given, I cannot conceive it to be pitiful initself; nor do I believe it is thought by the greatest men in thekingdom; none of whom would scruple to search for it in the dirtiestkennel, where they had only a reasonable hope of success.
How, therefore, such a sum should acquire the idea of pitiful in theeyes of the master of a ship seems not easy to be accounted for; sinceit appears more likely to produce in him ideas of a different kind. Somemen, perhaps, are no more sincere in the contempt for it which theyexpress than others in their contempt of money in general; and I am therather inclined to this persuasion, as I have seldom heard of either whohave refused or refunded this their despised object. Besides, it issometimes impossible to believe these professions, as every action ofthe man's life is a contradiction to it. Who can believe a tradesman whosays he would not tell his name for the profit he gets by he sellingsuch a parcel of goods, when he hath told a thousand lies in order toget it?
Pitiful, indeed, is often applied to an object not absolutely, butcomparatively with our expectations, or with a greater object: in whichsense it is not easy to set any bounds to the use of the word. Thus, ahandful of halfpence daily appear pitiful to a porter, and a handful ofsilver to a drawer. The latter, I am convinced, at a polite tavern, willnot tell his name (for he will not give you any answer) under the priceof gold. And in this sense thirty pound may be accounted pitiful by thelowest mechanic.
One difficulty only seems to occur, and that is this, how comes it that,if the profits of the meanest arts are so considerable, the professorsof them are not richer than we generally see them? One answer to thisshall suffice. Men do not become rich by what they get, but by what theykeep. He who is worth no more than his annual wages or salary, spendsthe whole; he will be always a beggar let his income be what it will,and so will be his family when he dies. This we see daily to be the caseof ecclesiastics, who, during their lives, are extremely well providedfor, only because they desire to maintain the honour of the cloth byliving like gentlemen, which would, perhaps, be better maintained byliving unlike them.
But, to return from so long a digression, to which the use of soimproper an epithet gave occasion, and to which the novelty of thesubject allured, I will make the reader amends by concisely telling himthat the captain poured forth such a torrent of abuse that I veryhastily and very foolishly resolved to quit the ship. I gave immediateorders to summon a hoy to carry me that evening to Dartmouth, withoutconsidering any consequence. Those orders I gave in no very low voice,so that those above stairs might possibly conceive there was more thanone master in the cabin. In the same tone I likewise threatened thecaptain with that which, he afterwards said, he feared more than anyrock or quicksand. Nor can we wonder at this when we are told he hadbeen twice obliged to bring to and cast anchor there before, and hadneither time escaped without the loss of almost his whole cargo.
The most distant sound of law thus frightened a man who had often, I amconvinced, heard numbers of cannon roar round him with intrepidity. Nordid he sooner see the hoy approaching the vessel than he ran down againinto the cabin, and, his rage being perfectly subsided, he tumbled onhis knees, and a little too abjectly implored for mercy.
I did not suffer a brave man and an old man to remain a moment in thisposture, but I immediately forgave him.
And here, that I may not be thought the sly trumpeter of my own praises,I do utterly disclaim all praise on the occasion. Neither did thegreatness of my mind dictate, nor the force of my Christianity exact,this forgiveness. To speak truth, I forgave him from a motive whichwould make men much more forgiving if they were much wiser than theyare, because it was convenient for me so to do.
_Wednesday._--This morning the captain drest himself in scarlet in orderto pay a visit to a Devonshire squire, to whom a captain of a ship is aguest of no ordinary consequence, as he is a stranger and a gentleman,who hath seen a great deal of the world in foreign parts, and knows allthe news of the times.
_He abjectly implored for mercy_]
The squire, therefore, was to send his boat for the captain, but a mostunfortunate accident happened; for, as the wind was extremely rough andagainst the hoy, while this was endeavouring to avail itself of greatseamanship in hawling up against the wind, a sudden squall carriedoff sail and yard, or at least so disabled them that they were no longerof any use and unable to reach the ship; but the captain, from the deck,saw his hopes of venison disappointed, and was forced either to stay onboard his ship, or to hoist forth his own long-boat, which he could notprevail with himself to think of, though the smell of the venison hadhad twenty times its attraction. He did, indeed, love his ship as hiswife, and his boats as children, and never willingly trusted the latter,poor things! to the dangers of the seas.
To say truth, notwithstanding the strict rigour with which he preservedthe dignity of his station, and the hasty impatience with which heresented any affront to his person or orders, disobedience to which hecould in no instance brook in any person on board, he was one of thebest natured fellows alive. He acted the part of a father to hissailors; he expressed great tenderness for any of them when ill, andnever suffered any the least work of supererogation to go unrewarded bya glass of gin. He even extended his humanity, if I may so call it, toanimals, and even his cats and kittens had large shares in hisaffections. An instance of which we saw this evening, when the cat,which had shewn it could not be drowned, was found suffocated under afeather-bed in the cabin. I will not endeavour to describe hislamentations with more prolixity than barely by saying they weregrievous, and seemed to have some mixture of the Irish howl in them.Nay, he carried his fondness even to inanimate objects, of which we haveabove set down
a pregnant example in his demonstration of love andtenderness towards his boats and ship. He spoke of a ship which he hadcommanded formerly, and which was long since no more, which he hadcalled the Princess of Brazil, as a widower of a deceased wife. Thisship, after having followed the honest business of carrying goods andpassengers for hire many years, did at last take to evil courses andturn privateer, in which service, to use his own words, she receivedmany dreadful wounds, which he himself had felt as if they had been hisown.
_Thursday._--As the wind did not yesterday discover any purpose ofshifting, and the water in my belly grew troublesome and rendered meshort-breathed, I began a second time to have apprehensions of wantingthe assistance of a trochar when none was to be found; I thereforeconcluded to be tapped again by way of precaution, and accordingly Ithis morning summoned on board a surgeon from a neighbouring parish, onewhom the captain greatly recommended, and who did indeed perform hisoffice with much dexterity. He was, I believe, likewise a man of greatjudgment and knowledge in the profession; but of this I cannot speakwith perfect certainty, for, when he was going to open on the dropsy atlarge and on the particular degree of the distemper under which Ilaboured, I was obliged to stop him short, for the wind was changed, andthe captain in the utmost hurry to depart; and to desire him, instead ofhis opinion, to assist me with his execution.
I was now once more delivered from my burthen, which was not indeed sogreat as I had apprehended, wanting two quarts of what was let out atthe last operation.
While the surgeon was drawing away my water the sailors were drawing upthe anchor; both were finished at the same time; we unfurled our sailsand soon passed the Berry-head, which forms the mouth of the bay.
We had not however sailed far when the wind, which had, though with aslow pace, kept us company about six miles, suddenly turned about, andoffered to conduct us back again; a favour which, though sorely againstthe grain, we were obliged to accept.
Nothing remarkable happened this day; for as to the firm persuasion ofthe captain that he was under the spell of witchcraft, I would notrepeat it too often, though indeed he repeated it an hundred times everyday; in truth, he talked of nothing else, and seemed not only to besatisfied in general of his being bewitched, but actually to have fixedwith good certainty on the person of the witch, whom, had he lived inthe days of Sir Matthew Hale, he would have infallibly indicted, andvery possibly have hanged, for the detestable sin of witchcraft; butthat law, and the whole doctrine that supported it, are now out offashion; and witches, as a learned divine once chose to express himself,are put down by act of parliament. This witch, in the captain's opinion,was no other than Mrs Francis of Ryde, who, as he insinuated, out ofanger to me for not spending more money in her house than she couldproduce anything to exchange for, or any pretence to charge for, hadlaid this spell on his ship.
Though we were again got near our harbour by three in the afternoon, yetit seemed to require a full hour or more before we could come to ourformer place of anchoring, or berth, as the captain called it. On thisoccasion we exemplified one of the few advantages which the travellersby water have over the travellers by land. What would the latter oftengive for the sight of one of those hospitable mansions where he isassured _that there is good entertainment for man and horse_; and whereboth may consequently promise themselves to assuage that hunger whichexercise is so sure to raise in a healthy constitution.
At their arrival at this mansion, how much happier is the state of thehorse than that of the master! The former is immediately led to hisrepast, such as it is, and, whatever it is, he falls to it withappetite. But the latter is in a much worse situation. His hunger,however violent, is always in some degree delicate, and his food musthave some kind of ornament, or, as the more usual phrase is, ofdressing, to recommend it. Now all dressing requires time, andtherefore, though perhaps the sheep might be just killed before you cameto the inn, yet in cutting him up, fetching the joint, which thelandlord by mistake said he had in the house, from the butcher at twomiles' distance, and afterwards warming it a little by the fire, twohours at least must be consumed, while hunger, for want of better food,preys all the time on the vitals of the man.
How different was the case with us! we carried our provision, ourkitchen, and our cook with us, and we were at one and the same timetravelling on our road, and sitting down to a repast of fish, with whichthe greatest table in London can scarce at any rate be supplied.
_Friday._--As we were disappointed of our wind, and obliged to returnback the preceding evening, we resolved to extract all the good we couldout of our misfortune, and to add considerably to our fresh stores ofmeat and bread, with which we were very indifferently provided when wehurried away yesterday. By the captain's advice we likewise laid in somestores of butter, which we salted and potted ourselves, for our use atLisbon, and we had great reason afterwards to thank him for his advice.
In the afternoon I persuaded my wife, whom it was no easy matter for meto force from my side, to take a walk on shore, whither the gallantcaptain declared he was ready to attend her. Accordingly the ladies setout, and left me to enjoy a sweet and comfortable nap after theoperation of the preceding day.
Thus we enjoyed our separate pleasures full three hours, when we metagain, and my wife gave the foregoing account of the gentleman whom Ihave before compared to Axylus, and of his habitation, to both which shehad been introduced by the captain, in the stile of an old friend andacquaintance, though this foundation of intimacy seemed to her to be nodeeper laid than in an accidental dinner, eaten many years before, atthis temple of hospitality, when the captain lay wind-bound in the samebay.
_Saturday._--Early this morning the wind seemed inclined to change inour favour. Our alert captain snatched its very first motion, and gotunder sail with so very gentle a breeze that, as the tide was againsthim, he recommended to a fishing hoy to bring after him a vast salmonand some other provisions which lay ready for him on shore.
Our anchor was up at six, and before nine in the morning we had doubledthe Berry-head, and were arrived off Dartmouth, having gone full threemiles in as many hours, in direct opposition to the tide, which onlybefriended us out of our harbour; and though the wind was perhaps ourfriend, it was so very silent, and exerted itself so little in ourfavour, that, like some cool partisans, it was difficult to say whetherit was with us or against us. The captain, however, declared the formerto be the case during the whole three hours; but at last he perceivedhis error, or rather, perhaps, this friend, which had hitherto waveredin chusing his side, became now more determined. The captain thensuddenly tacked about, and, asserting that he was bewitched, submittedto return to the place from whence he came. Now, though I am as freefrom superstition as any man breathing, and never did believe inwitches, notwithstanding all the excellent arguments of my lordchief-justice Hale in their favour, and long before they were put downby act of parliament, yet by what power a ship of burthen should sailthree miles against both wind and tide, I cannot conceive, unless therewas some supernatural interposition in the case; nay, could we admitthat the wind stood neuter, the difficulty would still remain. So thatwe must of necessity conclude that the ship was either bewinded orbewitched.
The captain, perhaps, had another meaning. He imagined himself, Ibelieve, bewitched, because the wind, instead of persevering in itschange in his favour, for change it certainly did that morning, shouldsuddenly return to its favourite station, and blow him back towards thebay. But, if this was his opinion, he soon saw cause to alter; for hehad not measured half the way back when the wind again declared in hisfavour, and so loudly, that there was no possibility of being mistaken.
The orders for the second tack were given, and obeyed with much morealacrity than those had been for the first. We were all of us indeed inhigh spirits on the occasion; though some of us a little regretted thegood things we were likely to leave behind us by the fisherman'sneglect; I might give it a worse name, for he faithfully promised toexecute the commission, which he had had abundant opportunity to do
; but_nautica fides_ deserves as much to be proverbial as ever _Punica fides_could formerly have done. Nay, when we consider that the Carthaginianscame from the Phenicians, who are supposed to have produced the firstmariners, we may probably see the true reason of the adage, and it mayopen a field of very curious discoveries to the antiquarian.
We were, however, too eager to pursue our voyage to suffer anything weleft behind us to interrupt our happiness, which, indeed, manyagreeable circumstances conspired to advance. The weather wasinexpressibly pleasant, and we were all seated on the deck, when ourcanvas began to swell with the wind. We had likewise in our view abovethirty other sail around us, all in the same situation. Here anobservation occurred to me, which, perhaps, though extremely obvious,did not offer itself to every individual in our little fleet: when Iperceived with what different success we proceeded under the influenceof a superior power, which, while we lay almost idle ourselves, pushedus forward on our intended voyage, and compared this with the slowprogress which we had made in the morning, of ourselves, and without anysuch assistance, I could not help reflecting how often the greatestabilities lie wind-bound as it were in life; or, if they venture out andattempt to beat the seas, they struggle in vain against wind and tide,and, if they have not sufficient prudence to put back, are most probablycast away on the rocks and quicksands which are every day ready todevour them.
It was now our fortune to set out _melioribus avibus_. The windfreshened so briskly in our poop that the shore appeared to move from usas fast as we did from the shore. The captain declared he was sure of awind, meaning its continuance; but he had disappointed us so often thathe had lost all credit. However, he kept his word a little better now,and we lost sight of our native land as joyfully, at least, as it isusual to regain it.
_Sunday._--The next morning the captain told me he thought himselfthirty miles to the westward of Plymouth, and before evening declaredthat the Lizard Point, which is the extremity of Cornwall, bore severalleagues to leeward. Nothing remarkable passed this day, except thecaptain's devotion, who, in his own phrase, summoned all hands toprayers, which were read by a common sailor upon deck, with more devoutforce and address than they are commonly read by a country curate, andreceived with more decency and attention by the sailors than are usuallypreserved in city congregations. I am indeed assured, that if any suchaffected disregard of the solemn office in which they were engaged, as Ihave seen practised by fine gentlemen and ladies, expressing a kind ofapprehension lest they should be suspected of being really in earnest intheir devotion, had been shewn here, they would have contracted thecontempt of the whole audience. To say the truth, from what I observedin the behaviour of the sailors in this voyage, and on comparing it withwhat I have formerly seen of them at sea and on shore, I am convincedthat on land there is nothing more idle and dissolute; in their ownelement there are no persons near the level of their degree who live inthe constant practice of half so many good qualities. They are, for muchthe greater part, perfect masters of their business, and alwaysextremely alert, and ready in executing it, without any regard tofatigue or hazard. The soldiers themselves are not better disciplinednor more obedient to orders than these whilst aboard; they submit toevery difficulty which attends their calling with chearfulness, and noless virtues and patience and fortitude are exercised by them every dayof their lives.
All these good qualities, however, they always leave behind them onshipboard; the sailor out of water is, indeed, as wretched an animal asthe fish out of water; for though the former hath, in common withamphibious animals, the bare power of existing on the land, yet if he bekept there any time he never fails to become a nuisance.
The ship having had a good deal of motion since she was last undersail, our women returned to their sickness, and I to my solitude;having, for twenty-four hours together, scarce opened my lips to asingle person. This circumstance of being shut up within thecircumference of a few yards, with a score of human creatures, with notone of whom it was possible to converse, was perhaps so rare as scarceever to have happened before, nor could it ever happen to one whodisliked it more than myself, or to myself at a season when I wantedmore food for my social disposition, or could converse less wholesomelyand happily with my own thoughts. To this accident, which fortune openedto me in the Downs, was owing the first serious thought which I everentertained of enrolling myself among the voyage-writers; some of themost amusing pages, if, indeed, there be any which deserve that name,were possibly the production of the most disagreeable hours which everhaunted the author.
_Monday._--At noon the captain took an observation, by which it appearedthat Ushant bore some leagues northward of us, and that we were justentering the bay of Biscay. We had advanced a very few miles in this baybefore we were entirely becalmed: we furled our sails, as being of nouse to us while we lay in this most disagreeable situation, moredetested by the sailors than the most violent tempest: we were alarmedwith the loss of a fine piece of salt beef, which had been hung in thesea to freshen it; this being, it seems, the strange property ofsalt-water. The thief was immediately suspected, and presentlyafterwards taken by the sailors. He was, indeed, no other than a hugeshark, who, not knowing when he was well off, swallowed another piece ofbeef, together with a great iron crook on which it was hung, and bywhich he was dragged into the ship.
I should scarce have mentioned the catching this shark, though soexactly conformable to the rules and practice of voyage-writing, had itnot been for a strange circumstance that attended it. This was therecovery of the stolen beef out of the shark's maw, where it layunchewed and undigested, and whence, being conveyed into the pot, theflesh, and the thief that had stolen it, joined together in furnishingvariety to the ship's crew.
During this calm we likewise found the mast of a large vessel, which thecaptain thought had lain at least three years in the sea. It was stuckall over with a little shell-fish or reptile, called a barnacle, andwhich probably are the prey of the rock-fish, as our captain calls it,asserting that it is the finest fish in the world; for which we areobliged to confide entirely to his taste; for, though he struck the fishwith a kind of harping-iron, and wounded him, I am convinced, to death,yet he could not possess himself of his body; but the poor wretchescaped to linger out a few hours with probably great torments.
In the evening our wind returned, and so briskly, that we ran upwards oftwenty leagues before the next day's [_Tuesday's_] observation, whichbrought us to lat. 47 deg. 42'. The captain promised us a very speedypassage through the bay; but he deceived us, or the wind deceived him,for it so slackened at sunset, that it scarce carried us a mile in anhour during the whole succeeding night.
_Wednesday._--A gale struck up a little after sun-rising, which carriedus between three and four knots or miles an hour. We were this day atnoon about the middle of the bay of Biscay, when the wind once moredeserted us, and we were so entirely becalmed, that we did not advance amile in many hours. My fresh-water reader will perhaps conceive nounpleasant idea from this calm; but it affected us much more than astorm could have done; for, as the irascible passions of men are apt toswell with indignation long after the injury which first raised them isover, so fared it with the sea. It rose mountains high, and lifted ourpoor ship up and down, backwards and forwards, with so violent anemotion, that there was scarce a man in the ship better able to standthan myself. Every utensil in our cabin rolled up and down, as we shouldhave rolled ourselves, had not our chairs been fast lashed to the floor.In this situation, with our tables likewise fastened by ropes, thecaptain and myself took our meal with some difficulty, and swallowed alittle of our broth, for we spilt much the greater part. The remainderof our dinner being an old, lean, tame duck roasted, I regretted butlittle the loss of, my teeth not being good enough to have chewed it.
Our women, who began to creep out of their holes in the morning, retiredagain within the cabin to their beds, and were no more heard of thisday, in which my whole comfort was to find by the captain's relationthat the swelling was sometimes much worse;
he did, indeed, take thisoccasion to be more communicative than ever, and informed me of suchmisadventures that had befallen him within forty-six years at sea asmight frighten a very bold spirit from undertaking even the shortestvoyage. Were these, indeed, but universally known, our matrons ofquality would possibly be deterred from venturing their tender offspringat sea; by which means our navy would lose the honour of many a youngcommodore, who at twenty-two is better versed in maritime affairs thanreal seamen are made by experience at sixty.
And this may, perhaps, appear the more extraordinary, as the educationof both seems to be pretty much the same; neither of them having hadtheir courage tried by Virgil's description of a storm, in which,inspired as he was, I doubt whether our captain doth not exceed him.
In the evening the wind, which continued in the N.W., again freshened,and that so briskly that Cape Finisterre appeared by this day'sobservation to bear a few miles to the southward. We now indeed sailed,or rather flew, near ten knots an hour; and the captain, in theredundancy of his good-humour, declared he would go to church at Lisbonon Sunday next, for that he was sure of a wind; and, indeed, we allfirmly believed him. But the event again contradicted him; for we wereagain visited by a calm in the evening.
But here, though our voyage was retarded, we were entertained with ascene, which as no one can behold without going to sea, so no one canform an idea of anything equal to it on shore. We were seated on thedeck, women and all, in the serenest evening that can be imagined. Not asingle cloud presented itself to our view, and the sun himself was theonly object which engrossed our whole attention. He did indeed set witha majesty which is incapable of description, with which, while thehorizon was yet blazing with glory, our eyes were called off to theopposite part to survey the moon, which was then at full, and which inrising presented us with the second object that this world hath offeredto our vision. Compared to these the pageantry of theatres, or splendourof courts, are sights almost below the regard of children.
We did not return from the deck till late in the evening; the weatherbeing inexpressibly pleasant, and so warm that even my old distemperperceived the alteration of the climate. There was indeed a swell, butnothing comparable to what we had felt before, and it affected us on thedeck much less than in the cabin.
_Friday._--The calm continued till sun-rising, when the wind likewisearose, but unluckily for us it came from a wrong quarter; it wasS.S.E., which is that very wind which Juno would have solicited ofAEolus, had AEneas been in our latitude bound for Lisbon.
The captain now put on his most melancholy aspect, and resumed hisformer opinion that he was bewitched. He declared with great solemnitythat this was worse and worse, for that a wind directly in his teeth wasworse than no wind at all. Had we pursued the course which the windpersuaded us to take we had gone directly for Newfoundland, if we hadnot fallen in with Ireland in our way. Two ways remained to avoid this;one was to put into a port of Galicia; the other, to beat to thewestward with as little sail as possible: and this was our captain'selection.
As for us, poor passengers, any port would have been welcome to us;especially, as not only our fresh provisions, except a great number ofold ducks and fowls, but even our bread was come to an end, and nothingbut sea-biscuit remained, which I could not chew. So that now for thefirst time in my life I saw what it was to want a bit of bread.
The wind however was not so unkind as we had apprehended; but, havingdeclined with the sun, it changed at the approach of the moon, andbecame again favourable to us, though so gentle that the next day'sobservation carried us very little to the southward of Cape Finisterre.This evening at six the wind, which had been very quiet all day, rosevery high, and continuing in our favour drove us seven knots an hour.
This day we saw a sail, the only one, as I heard of, we had seen in ourwhole passage through the bay. I mention this on account of whatappeared to me somewhat extraordinary. Though she was at such a distancethat I could only perceive she was a ship, the sailors discovered thatshe was a snow, bound to a port in Galicia.
_Sunday._--After prayers, which our good captain read on the deck withan audible voice, and with but one mistake, of a lion for Elias, in thesecond lesson for this day, we found ourselves far advanced in 42 deg., andthe captain declared we should sup off Porte. We had not much wind thisday; but, as this was directly in our favour, we made it up with sail,of which we crowded all we had. We went only at the rate of four milesan hour, but with so uneasy a motion, continually rolling from side toside, that I suffered more than I had done in our whole voyage; mybowels being almost twisted out of my belly. However, the day was veryserene and bright, and the captain, who was in high spirits, affirmed hehad never passed a pleasanter at sea.
The wind continued so brisk that we ran upward of six knots an hour thewhole night.
_Monday._--In the morning our captain concluded that he was got intolat. 40 deg., and was very little short of the Burlings, as they are calledin the charts. We came up with them at five in the afternoon, being thefirst land we had distinctly seen since we left Devonshire. They consistof abundance of little rocky islands, a little distant from the shore,three of them only shewing themselves above the water.
Here the Portuguese maintain a kind of garrison, if we may allow it thatname. It consists of malefactors, who are banished hither for a term,for divers small offences--a policy which they may have copied from theEgyptians, as we may read in Diodorus Siculus. That wise people, toprevent the corruption of good manners by evil communication, built atown on the Red Sea, whither they transported a great number of theircriminals, having first set an indelible mark on them, to prevent theirreturning and mixing with the sober part of their citizens.
These rocks lie about fifteen leagues north-west of Cape Roxent, or, asit is commonly called, the Rock of Lisbon, which we past early the nextmorning. The wind, indeed, would have carried us thither sooner; but thecaptain was not in a hurry, as he was to lose nothing by his delay.
_Tuesday._--This is a very high mountain, situated on the northern sideof the mouth of the river Tajo, which, rising about Madrid, in Spain,and soon becoming navigable for small craft, empties itself, after along course, into the sea, about four leagues below Lisbon.
On the summit of the rock stands a hermitage, which is now in thepossession of an Englishman, who was formerly master of a vessel tradingto Lisbon; and, having changed his religion and his manners, the latterof which, at least, were none of the best, betook himself to this place,in order to do penance for his sins. He is now very old, and hathinhabited this hermitage for a great number of years, during which hehath received some countenance from the royal family, and particularlyfrom the present queen dowager, whose piety refuses no trouble orexpence by which she may make a proselyte, being used to say that thesaving one soul would repay all the endeavours of her life.
Here we waited for the tide, and had the pleasure of surveying the faceof the country, the soil of which, at this season, exactly resembles anold brick-kill, or a field where the green sward is pared up and set aburning, or rather a smoaking, in little heaps to manure the land. Thissight will, perhaps, of all others, make an Englishman proud of, andpleased with, his own country, which in verdure excels, I believe, everyother country. Another deficiency here is the want of large trees,nothing above a shrub being here to be discovered in the circumferenceof many miles.
At this place we took a pilot on board, who, being the first Portuguesewe spoke to, gave us an instance of that religious observance which ispaid by all nations to their laws; for, whereas it is here a capitaloffence to assist any person in going on shore from a foreign vesselbefore it hath been examined, and every person in it viewed by themagistrates of health, as they are called, this worthy pilot, for a verysmall reward, rowed the Portuguese priest to shore at this place, beyondwhich he did not dare to advance, and in venturing whither he had givensufficient testimony of love for his native country.
We did not enter the Tajo till noon, when, after passing several oldcastles and
other buildings which had greatly the aspect of ruins, wecame to the castle of Bellisle, where we had a full prospect of Lisbon,and were, indeed, within three miles of it.
Here we were saluted with a gun, which was a signal to pass no farthertill we had complied with certain ceremonies which the laws of thiscountry require to be observed by all ships which arrive in this port.We were obliged then to cast anchor, and expect the arrival of theofficers of the customs, without whose passport no ship must proceedfarther than this place.
Here likewise we received a visit from one of those magistrates ofhealth before mentioned. He refused to come on board the ship till everyperson in her had been drawn up on deck and personally viewed by him.This occasioned some delay on my part, as it was not the work of aminute to lift me from the cabin to the deck. The captain thought myparticular case might have been excused from this ceremony, and that itwould be abundantly sufficient if the magistrate, who was obligedafterwards to visit the cabin, surveyed me there. But this did notsatisfy the magistrate's strict regard to his duty. When he was told ofmy lameness, he called out, with a voice of authority, "Let him bebrought up," and his orders were presently complied with. He was,indeed, a person of great dignity, as well as of the most exactfidelity in the discharge of his trust. Both which are the moreadmirable as his salary is less than thirty pounds English per annum.
Before a ship hath been visited by one of those magistrates no personcan lawfully go on board her, nor can any on board depart from her. ThisI saw exemplified in a remarkable instance. The young lad whom I havementioned as one of our passengers was here met by his father, who, onthe first news of the captain's arrival, came from Lisbon to Bellisle ina boat, being eager to embrace a son whom he had not seen for manyyears. But when he came alongside our ship neither did the father dareascend nor the son descend, as the magistrate of health had not yet beenon board.
Some of our readers will, perhaps, admire the great caution of thispolicy, so nicely calculated for the preservation of this country fromall pestilential distempers. Others will as probably regard it as tooexact and formal to be constantly persisted in, in seasons of the utmostsafety, as well as in times of danger. I will not decide either way, butwill content myself with observing that I never yet saw or heard of aplace where a traveller had so much trouble given him at his landing ashere. The only use of which, as all such matters begin and end in formonly, is to put it into the power of low and mean fellows to be eitherrudely officious or grossly corrupt, as they shall see occasion toprefer the gratification of their pride or of their avarice.
Of this kind, likewise, is that power which is lodged with otherofficers here, of taking away every grain of snuff and every leaf oftobacco brought hither from other countries, though only for thetemporary use of the person during his residence here. This is executedwith great insolence, and, as it is in the hands of the dregs of thepeople, very scandalously; for, under pretence of searching for tobaccoand snuff, they are sure to steal whatever they can find, insomuch thatwhen they came on board our sailors addressed us in the Covent-gardenlanguage: "Pray, gentlemen and ladies, take care of your swords andwatches." Indeed, I never yet saw anything equal to the contempt andhatred which our honest tars every moment expressed for these Portugueseofficers.
At Bellisle lies buried Catharine of Arragon, widow of prince Arthur,eldest son of our Henry VII., afterwards married to, and divorced from,Henry VIII. Close by the church where her remains are deposited is alarge convent of Geronymites, one of the most beautiful piles ofbuilding in all Portugal.
In the evening, at twelve, our ship, having received previous visitsfrom all the necessary parties, took the advantage of the tide, andhaving sailed up to Lisbon cast anchor there, in a calm and moonshinynight, which made the passage incredibly pleasant to the women, whoremained three hours enjoying it, whilst I was left to the coolertransports of enjoying their pleasures at second-hand; and yet, cooleras they may be, whoever is totally ignorant of such sensation is, at thesame time, void of all ideas of friendship.
_Wednesday._--Lisbon, before which we now lay at anchor, is said to bebuilt on the same number of hills with old Rome; but these do not allappear to the water; on the contrary, one sees from thence one vast highhill and rock, with buildings arising above one another, and that in sosteep and almost perpendicular a manner, that they all seem to have butone foundation.
As the houses, convents, churches, &c., are large, and all built withwhite stone, they look very beautiful at a distance; but as youapproach nearer, and find them to want every kind of ornament, all ideaof beauty vanishes at once. While I was surveying the prospect of thiscity, which bears so little resemblance to any other that I have everseen, a reflexion occurred to me that, if a man was suddenly to beremoved from Palmyra hither, and should take a view of no other city, inhow glorious a light would the antient architecture appear to him! andwhat desolation and destruction of arts and sciences would he concludehad happened between the several aeras of these cities!
I had now waited full three hours upon deck for the return of my man,whom I had sent to bespeak a good dinner (a thing which had been longunknown to me) on shore, and then to bring a Lisbon chaise with him tothe sea-shore; but it seems the impertinence of the providore was notyet brought to a conclusion. At three o'clock, when I was, fromemptiness, rather faint than hungry, my man returned, and told me therewas a new law lately made that no passenger should set his foot on shorewithout a special order from the providore, and that he himself wouldhave been sent to prison for disobeying it, had he not been protected asthe servant of the captain. He informed me likewise that the captain hadbeen very industrious to get this order, but that it was then theprovidore's hour of sleep, a time when no man, except the king himself,durst disturb him.
To avoid prolixity, though in a part of my narrative which may be moreagreeable to my reader than it was to me, the providore, having at lastfinished his nap, dispatched this absurd matter of form, and gave meleave to come, or rather to be carried, on shore.
What it was that gave the first hint of this strange law is not easy toguess. Possibly, in the infancy of their defection, and before theirgovernment could be well established, they were willing to guard againstthe bare possibility of surprise, of the success of which barepossibility the Trojan horse will remain for ever on record, as a greatand memorable example. Now the Portuguese have no walls to secure them,and a vessel of two or three hundred tons will contain a much largerbody of troops than could be concealed in that famous machine, thoughVirgil tells us (somewhat hyperbolically, I believe) that it was as bigas a mountain.
About seven in the evening I got into a chaise on shore, and was driventhrough the nastiest city in the world, though at the same time one ofthe most populous, to a kind of coffee-house, which is very pleasantlysituated on the brow of a hill, about a mile from the city, and hath avery fine prospect of the river Tajo from Lisbon to the sea.
Here we regaled ourselves with a good supper, for which we were as wellcharged as if the bill had been made on the Bath-road, between Newburyand London.
And now we could joyfully say,
Egressi optata Troes potiuntur arena.
Therefore, in the words of Horace,
--hic Finis chartaeque viaeque.
END OF VOL. I.
BALLANTYNE PRESS: EDINBURGH AND LONDON
* * * * *
FOOTNOTES:
[A] Some doubt whether this should not be rather 1641, which is a datemore agreeable to the account given of it in the introduction: but thenthere are some passages which seem to relate to transactions infinitelylater, even within this year or two. To say the truth there aredifficulties attending either conjecture; so the reader may take whichhe pleases
[B] Eyes are not perhaps so properly adapted to a spiritual substance;but we are here, as in many other places, obliged to use corporeal termsto make ourselves the better understood.
[C] This is the dress in which the god appears to mortals at
thetheatres. One of the offices attributed to this god by the ancients, wasto collect the ghosts as a shepherd doth a flock of sheep, and drivethem with his wand into the other world.
[D] Those who have read of the gods sleeping in Homer will not besurprized at this happening to spirits.
[E] A particular lady of quality is meant here; but every lady ofquality, or no quality, are welcome to apply the character tothemselves.
[F] We have before made an apology for this language, which we hererepeat for the last time; though the heart may, we hope, bemetaphorically used here with more propriety than when we apply thosepassions to the body which belong to the soul.
[G] That we may mention it once for all, in the panegyrical part of thiswork some particular person is always meant: but, in the satirical,nobody.
[H] These ladies, I believe, by their names, presided over the_leprosy_, _king's-evil_, and _scurvy_.
[I] This silly story is told as a solemn truth (_i.e._, that St Jamesreally appeared in the manner this fellow is described) by Mariana, I.7, Sec.78.
[J] Here part of the manuscript is lost, and that a very considerableone, as appears by the number of the next book and chapter, whichcontains, I find, the history of Anna Boleyn; but as to the manner inwhich it was introduced, or to whom the narrative is told, we aretotally left in the dark. I have only to remark, that this chapter is,in the original, writ in a woman's hand: and, though the observations init are, I think, as excellent as any in the whole volume, there seems tobe a difference in style between this and the preceding chapters; and,as it is the character of a woman which is related, I am inclined tofancy it was really written by one of that sex.
[K] Here ends this curious manuscript; the rest being destroyed inrolling up pens, tobacco, &c. It is to be hoped heedless people willhenceforth be more cautious what they burn, or use to other vilepurposes; especially when they consider the fate which had likely tohave befallen the divine Milton, and that the works of Homer wereprobably discovered in some chandler's shop in Greece.
[L] At Lisbon.
[M] A predecessor of mine used to boast that he made one thousand poundsa-year in his office; but how he did this (if indeed he did it) is to mea secret. His clerk, now mine, told me I had more business than he hadever known there; I am sure I had as much as any man could do. The truthis, the fees are so very low, when any are due, and so much is done fornothing, that, if a single justice of peace had business enough toemploy twenty clerks, neither he nor they would get much by theirlabour. The public will not, therefore, I hope, think I betray a secretwhen I inform them that I received from the Government a yearly pensionout of the public service-money; which, I believe, indeed, would havebeen larger had my great patron been convinced of an error, which I haveheard him utter more than once, that he could not indeed say that theacting as a principal justice of peace in Westminster was on allaccounts very desirable, but that all the world knew it was a verylucrative office. Now, to have shewn him plainly that a man must be arogue to make a very little this way, and that he could not make much bybeing as great a rogue as he could be, would have required moreconfidence than, I believe, he had in me, and more of his conversationthan he chose to allow me; I therefore resigned the office and thefarther execution of my plan to my brother, who had long been myassistant. And now, lest the case between me and the reader should bethe same in both instances as it was between me and the great man, Iwill not add another word on the subject.
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