We ordered a meal and Vaysh told the innkeeper we would eat in our rooms. "We would be pestered downstairs," he said to me darkly, and then ordered the landlord to see to our horses. I was relieved to notice that Vaysh's high-handed manner provoked only amusement. Pausing at the door to my room, I asked him to eat with me. He thought about it for a moment and then said yes. God knows why I wanted his company; I was surprised when he agreed to sharing mine. We were served an attractive meal of smoked meat, rice and salad, accompanied by pale, yellow beer. There was a table in the room, but we sat on the bed to eat. Vaysh was silent and moody, consuming his food without pleasure.
"I'm sorry I hit you," I said, hoping to lighten the atmosphere.
He pulled a face. "I doubt it. I think you're still congratulating yourself for having done it!"
"You're weird," I observed, "and, I think, horrible." It cheered me up considerably to poke at his reserve.
"What are you, Vaysh? Why are you like you are?"
He pushed his plate away, half finished. "We can stay here a few days," he said.
"What happened to you? Was it Thiede?"
He stood up. "The way we traveled; it makes us tire easily. I'm going to bed now."
"Oh Vaysh, sit down," I said, in a cajoling tone. "You haven't finished."
He hesitated a moment, clenching and unclenching his fists. Then he said, "Pellaz, I realize sometimes I treat you unfairly, even unfeelingly, but that's just the way I am. Also, I do not wish to talk about myself; ever!"
"OK," I agreed, placatingly. "I won't ask another question about your impenetrable self. Sit down, eat, tell me about me."
He sat down. "About you? What do you want to know?"
I laughed, "Oh God, Vaysh, everything!"
"I've told you all I can," he said. "There's nothing more. Some things only Thiede knows." He was staring at his food and then something made him grit his teeth and he threw down his fork. "Pellaz, I can see you are straining toward some kind of camaraderie between us, but that is impossible!" I suppressed an obvious wince as he fixed me with his heartless gaze. "You are very interested in what has happened to you; this is understandable. The future also fascinates you, but one thing you must realize, Pellaz, no matter how interesting it all is to you, it is only a bore to me!"
I suppose I should have let him stalk out after that, only more unpleasantness would follow if he remained, but it is difficult to act logically in the face of such excruciating indifference. I beat him to the door.
"You'll have to force your way out!" I cried, gleefully. Vaysh raised one hand to shoulder height. His fingers began to curl, his mouth to open.
"Just try it!" I snarled. Whatever words had been on his lips Were never spoken. He could sense my counter-defense and thought better of attempting that kind of skirmish. His hand dropped to his side.
"I hope Pellaz, you are not going to make a habit out of tormenting me," he said. I watched him as he slumped miserably back down on the bed, one hand clawing his red hair. "Ask me questions, then, ask me!"
His defeat flummoxed me. "I can't think . . . well, OK, what happened to ... what happened to my old body?"
Vaysh made a choking sound that might have been a scornful laugh. "Flirting with devils?" he asked, drily, leaning back on his elbows. Through that question, the balance of power had shifted.
"Just answer," I muttered, turning away; I did not want to see his face.
"It was burned."
I had started to shake. I knew what the real questions were, but could not voice them. I said, "Tell me what happened to it after . . . after I was gone."
I could hear him laughing. "Ah, I see, I am to be your crystal ball. Very well, I shall be generous. Are you ready? Turn around; I want to watch this."
I thought, "This is just another observation, this is unknown to him," but I turned around.
I wish you could see him as I saw him then. Dead loveliness that was inquisitive. A ghoul for the flesh of love.
"He wept for you, Pellaz. He soaked himself in your blood—for days. Sprawled in the rain and the mud until he was no longer rational; an unpleasant sight. Some time after, common sense got control of his hysteria and he burned what was left of you. Then, he went away ..."
My jaw was frozen. I could not say: where? Vaysh knew the question. "We lost interest in him after that. He may have gone back north, or not, I don't know." He stood up. "I'm supposed to comfort you now, aren't I? Probably that is what Thiede expects of me, but..." I moved away from the door to let him pass. "Why be cruel to yourself?" he said. "Forget it, forget him; you might as well."
I know now that my pain pleased him, for reasons known only to himself. I let him leave to surrender myself to a nest of misery. In time it would not hurt so much, I was sure. Time fades everything to a degree; even the deepest wounds.
CHAPTER FIVE
New alliances and expectations; return of an old friend
The following morning, Vaysh being nowhere in sight, I breakfasted alone downstairs. The landlord waited for me to finish eating before sauntering over to my table. He offered me a cigarette. The smoke burned my lungs and I realized that this was the first time my new body had ever tasted it. I was subject to a subtle interrogation, which I equally subtly managed to side-step. The innkeeper laughed and called me a tease.
"Your companion has left money for you," he said, once resigned to the fact that he would get nowhere with me.
"Oh, has he gone?" I answered abruptly. (Surely I could not have been abandoned!)
"He said he would be back to eat at noon. Why don't you take a walk around the town? There is much to see ... spend the money. I would be happy to show you around."
"No," I said, "Thanks, but I'll find my way about."
The landlord seemed rather put out that I had declined his offer and handed me the money somewhat churlishly.
Outside, the day was already hot. I stood for a moment in the doorway to the inn, soaking up the sun. Already I had forgotten what it felt like to be cold.
The typical Ferelithian is a sociable and contented creature. This does not come as a surprise after spending an hour or two exploring the city. The thriving markets and their bright merchandise betokened affluence and by the amount of ale-houses and live music venues (all bearing colorful, exotic names), I could see the Ferelith spent most of their time in recreation. Utter strangers stopped and spoke to me when they recognized me as a new face. Street-vendors entreated me to buy their wares; sparkling, cheap jewelery and colorful, gossamer scarves. By the time I reached the town center my mood was bordering on euphoric; friends could be made easily in Ferelithia and I could see no reason why I should have to spend another grim evening in Vaysh's company. I was intrigued by the amount of humans, most noticeably females, wandering around the streets of Ferelithia. Some even had stalls in the markets and were obviously enjoying a thriving trade alongside hara. Had the two races learned to live in harmony in this part of the world?
It was in the market-place that I saw her, recognizing her almost instantly. That a woman should have been there at all was remarkable, but that it was her was just too much of a coincidence. A fragment of my past here in Ferelithia. She was looking at some colored ribbons, a frown upon her face; the stallkeeper was bullying her to purchase. I hurried over, afraid that she would vanish, and tapped her on the shoulder. Her skin was dark brown and peeling. "Hello Kate," I said. She turned round with a smile on her face and I was surprised how much older she looked, but when she saw me her face dropped with bewilderment. She knew she had met me before but couldn't think where. "Don't you remember me?" I asked and she shook her head slowly, still thinking.
"I'm sorry . . ."
"Greenling. With Seel. You gave us guns . . ."
Realization dawned across her face. "Pellaz! Pellaz, isn't it? My God, you've changed! Sorry, I mean . . ."
"Oh, that's OK, I know. What are you doing here?"
"What, at the moment? Oh, visiting friends. I'm a bit stranded .
. . waiting for a boat. . . waiting for work . . . you know . . . low on funds. How about you? God, I can't believe this! I never thought I'd meet you here!"
"I'm just passing through really. The power of coincidence ... I don't even know how long I'm staying . . ."I said.
She laughed. "Long enough for a drink with an old friend, or shall I say acquaintance?
"Long enough for that," I confirmed.
She took me to a quayside tavern where we could see the sleek Ferelithian ships bobbing like impatient race-horses upon a dark blue sea. We sat outside at a canopied table, and Kate waved away my offer of Vaysh's money. "No, I'll pay. I'm not that broke." She was dressed like a man with her long hair clasped high on her head with gold circlets. But for her admittedly vestigal bosom, she could easily have passed for Har. She sat sideways in her chair, her nervous arms clanking with bangles. I could not remember her being that restless before, but of course it had been some time since I had last seen her. Now that we had said hello to each other, it was difficult to think of anything to say. I began with the obvious, "I'm surprised to find a woman here . . ."
"Why?!" she snapped. "I have no quarrel with Wraeththu, and neither have many other women ..."
"You are tolerated here then?"
She rolled her eyes and rocked back in her chair. "God forbid! We're not back in the homeland now, Pell, thank heavens! There's quite a few women here. Ferelith like us, we amuse them, we have good friends. God knows womankind appreciates the vagaries of Man's nature just as much as Wraeththu. You've just got here I take it?"
"Mmm, yesterday."
She nodded, poking out her lower lip. "Have you any cigarettes?" she asked.
"For the first time in years, yes," I replied, thankful that I had actually bothered to buy some of my own at last.
"Where've you come from, Pell?" she asked. "You haven't stayed back home all this time have you?"
"No, not all the time . . ." Something about the tone of 'all this time' alerted me and I said, "How long has it been Kate?"
She smiled, flicking ask over the table, twirling the cigarette in her hand. "1 low long? God . . ." she screwed up her eyes. "Two years in Tahralan, some months in Lipforth... God, I don't know... what about five years?" She raised her eyebrows for confirmation.
"Five years?!" I slammed down my mug and ale slopped on the table.
Kate dabbed at her arm where I'd splashed it. "OK, OK, maybe not that long . . . four years something . ... What's the matter, Pell?"
I looked at her; I could not explain. "I didn't realize," I said. "Time goes so quickly doesn't it?"
"When you're having fun . . ."
"That's not always the case." Five years; I couldn't believe it. How much of that time had been spent in Thiede's care? I couldn't work it out.
"Where's your friend?" Kate asked and for a moment I thought she meant Vaysh. Then last night's wounds began to seep a little and the familiar cold numbed my head.
"Oh, you mean Cal..." Just saying his name brought me sorrow.
"We got split up," I explained and it came so easily after that. "That's when I came over here; I don't know where he is now..." (Now; five years later.)
"He really hated me, didn't he," she said, pulling her lip thoughtfully and staring into her beer
"He hated all women. It was nothing personal. . . God, why do I talk about him as if he's dead?" Even in that hot, kind sunlight, I could not shake off the cold. I was shaking, my teeth were chattering. Kate was staring at my arms and must have seen the goosebumps.
"Do you miss him? Oh shit, yes, you miss him. Shut up, Kate." She took a mouthful of her drink. "He was gorgeous, can I say that?"
I laughed bitterly. "You just did. Hell, it doesn't matter. I'd like to tell you about it, but I can't. At least I think I shouldn't ..."
"Where are you heading?" she asked, to change the subject.
I wondered whether I should tell her and then said; "Immanion."
She raised her eyebrows, swilling a mouthful of liquid thoughtfully. "Well, well, how privileged."
"Indeed. You must come visit me sometime," I returned sarcastically.
"Sorry, I'm only jealous," she said with a grin. "Look, I know it seems terribly ill-mannered, but I have to go soon, but I'll tell you what, meet me for a drink tonight; you can buy me one back. I might be in a sorry state if I don't get this job I'm after."
"I'd like that," I said. "I was hoping to find something to do tonight. I have a traveling companion who's about as lively as the grim reaper. Where shall I meet you?"
She quaffed the rest of her drink and wiped her mouth. "There's a leisure-warren not far from here ..."
"A what?"
"A place to enjoy yourself, drink, dance, listen to music, whatever. It's called Temple Radiant ... not far, OK?"
I watched her hurry back into the crowd, heading for the harbor. I had not even asked her how she had got here.
Vaysh was waiting for me in my room. "You've been gone a long time," he said, in his flat, disinterested way. I did not welcome the prospect of Vaysh destroying my mood.
"I met a woman in the market," I said. "From Greenling. You remember Greenling, Vaysh, surely!"
He ignored the implication. "What did you tell her?" he asked ominously.
"Nothing I shouldn't have!" I snapped. "I was surprised to see her though. Is it fate, Vaysh, or did Thiede organize it for me?"
"Shut up, you fool," Vaysh droned.
"Are all Wraeththu in this land kindly disposed toward women?" I asked, looking at myself in the mirror. I could see him behind me; his narrowed eyes.
"Some women are as pleased to see the decline of men as we are," he said. "It's a bleak prospect for them though and depressing for us. We have to watch them grow old alone. I had women friends once . . ."
"Vaysh, one more word and I'll consider you good-natured," I teased, making him pull one of his sour faces, of which he had an inexhaustive variety. I could still see him in the mirror. Sometimes, not often, Vaysh could be almost approachable and then he'd retreat behind a barrier of unpleasantness. He made disagreeable noises when I told him I was meeting Kate that night and then insisted on accompanying me
"Ah, you just want to enjoy yourself," I said. "You're going to dance and get drunk aren't you?"
"I am not!" Vaysh snarled. "I just want to keep an eye on you."
We dined at the inn and Vaysh pointedly refused a glass of wine. He grumbled continuously whilst I tarted myself up to go out. The last time I'd had a social life was in Galhea; I was determined not to let Vaysh spoil our evening.
"Get changed, comb your hair," I told him.
"I don't have to," he replied haughtily, which was true. I had bought several brass bangles that afternoon and offered him one because I felt sorry for him. (Good humor often brings out a strange side to my nature.) Surprisingly, he took it. I had also spent a rather lavish amount of money on getting my ears pierced again, with half a dozen, heavy gold rings.
"The money's yours anyway," Vaysh said. "Waste it how you like."
We discovered that Temple Radiant was the place to be seen in Ferelithia. I was surprised how much it cost to get in. Inside, it was almost dark; what light there was glowed purple or dark green. The music was so loud and so strange, strident, pounding; I wasn't sure if I liked it.
"Stop gaping," Vaysh said.
"I've seen nothing like this," I murmured inadequately. Vaysh sniffed.
"I used to come here, before," he said.
Several rooms of varying murkiness led to the main auditorium. The furnishings were all of black velvet, leather and simulated animal skins. Black netting strung with painted bones hung down from the ceiling. Vaysh led the way into a room named Gehenna. I must admit I shrank at the door; its occupants, what I could see of them, seemed unpleasantly suitable for the name.
"Blend in, Pellaz; buy a drink," Vaysh advised, firing his basilisk stare at anyone who looked at us.
"Where's Kate?"
"Buy
a drink first. . ." he said impatiently.
I didn't know what to order so Vaysh bought two glasses of something colored neon purple that tasted like acid perfume on first acquaintance and increasingly pleasant after the first swallow.
The Ferelith were undoubtedly the most exotic and colorful race I had yet seen. Their hair, their clothes, their careful mannerisms combined to form a breathtaking glamor. "Do stop gaping!" Vaysh said. I saw several women who looked just like hara; some of them may have been, it was impossible to tell. Vaysh pointed out Wreaththu of different tribes; most of them unfamiliar to me. Then someone touched my arm; a warm dry hand. "Pell, you've come," Kate said, sounding surprised.