"You will," she answered. "Long ago, I have heard, maybe in a saner, more aquatic age, when a temple was built, it demanded a life. Perhaps the temple that the Gelaming seek to build is so great, so beyond our grasp, only a thousand lives will make it live; I don't know. I'm only a poor girl after all."
We both laughed and I took her hand. "I do believe you," I said.
"Your instincts have not failed you," she replied.
So, my destiny would lead me at last to the south and the wild magic that lay there. In my heart, I was afraid that I could never be ready to face whatever might be waiting for me, yet I heeded the call, like my father had done before me, perhaps. Would I find him there? He had been gone for so long without us hearing news that it was as if he had already died. Perhaps he had. Would we have known? Could Cobweb's intuition penetrate the barrier that kept him from us?
After my talk with the Pythoness in the conservatory, my mind was already made up. Hadn't my hostling known this would happen? It was Fate, and there could be no other way. Even so, I was nervous of telling anyone. I anticipated their scorn, their amazement, their anger.
In the evening, we ate out on the lawns, the smoky aroma of cooking meat drifting around us, the light of torches eating at the sky. I could smell the vitality of spring in the air. It was a smell of something rushing in, a focusing, and great excitement. Something was waiting for me. Now I turned toward it and the pull was stronger. I wore a fur coat draped around my shoulders, but could not eat. Two of Tel-an-Kaa's troupe were musicians, and soon the darkness was alive with the fairy music of their strange echoing strings, the rhythmic mumble of a speaking drum. Shapes swayed in the leaping light of the torches, hissing fat spat down onto the glow beneath the meat and I could hear laughter. It was as if I was somewhere else, looking through a window at the lawns of Forever. Fighting disorientation, I walked toward the lake.
There is nowhere on this earth so eerie, so haunted or so beautiful as that spot in my father's garden. Moonlight touched the uneven surface of the lake, around me tall cypress trees nodded their lofty heads in a slight breeze and I could see the flicker of white that was the summerhouse between the branches. I had not been there since that time when Cal and Cobweb had been there. When I tried to open the door, it was stuck, but eventually, in a sigh of flaking paint, it gave in to my demands and squealed open. I sat down on the lip of the lily bowl. Pale light fell in through the glass across the tiled floor. My heart was heavy. I was grieved and exultant at the same time. (Is that possible?) No-one could tell me exactly what Fate had in store for me. Would I go to my death?
I reached down, under the rim of the stone bowl, searching for the tap that would turn on the fountain. I shivered as webs brushed my skin. Resisting, as the door had done, the fountain tap gradually turned and life spurted into the ancient mechanisms. With a shudder and a few abortive bursts, water finally shot upwards out of the stone animal's mouth, turning its scaly flanks dark with moisture. I watched it. Everything
was black and white, or gray. I listened to the water sounds. I dipped my fingers in the pool.
When I heard the door to the summerhouse scrape open, I looked up, thinking it would be Cal, or Cobweb. Only they knew me well enough to know where to find me. Instinct guided the three of us in scented circles around each other. But it was neither of them. I saw Leef standing there and knew immediately that this was just another intrinsic rightness of the whole situation. Leef and I had had our differences in the past, it is true, but circumstances, even roles, had changed in Galhea. Maintaining a worn-out atmosphere of resentment and bitterness was something none of us had time for any longer. I smiled and said, "Come in, come in."
"What are you doing here, all alone?" he asked. His voice was slightly slurred.
"Oh, just thinking," I replied. "Did you follow me?"
"Mmmm. To my cost, no doubt."
"Ah, there speaks a sore heart!" I said lightly.
Leef pulled a face and leaned against the doorframe. "There is no shame in wanting only the best, is there?"
I shook my head. "No, but I feel that what you say is only flattery."
"It's just my opinion, of course."
We both started to laugh, the fountain sounds seemed to fade right away, and he walked across the floor toward me.
"What's going on, Swift?"
"What do you mean? Is this why you followed me?" I asked, playing for time.
"One of the reasons ... Zigane! A woman demanding to speak with you and then you allowing it, even inviting her and her ragged followers into your home. . . . What did she tell you, Swift?"
"A message, that's all. Come here. Sit by me."
I didn't tell him everything, of course, only what was necessary. He made a few indignant noises, but did not interrupt me. After I had finished speaking, he said, "And of course you've decided to ride south now." I ignored his dry tone.
"Yes. What else can I do? Wait here forever... or until it's too late? I'm not sure I have anything to lose. I'm not sure."
Leef shook his head at the floor. "Are you going alone?"
"I don't think so . . ."
"Swift, it will be dangerous!"
"Yes." I stood up, pulling the fur closer to my body. For a while we argued halfheartedly, he pointing out the dangers, me justifying the cause. I told him that Ithiel had taught me how to defend myself; I was not completely helpless. Leef pointed out that I would never know how to fight until I had had to put it into practice.
"Look, I'm going! There is nothing you can say to dissuade me!" I shouted.
"I don't want to dissuade you, but you have to be made aware of the pitfalls."
"Cal will be with me," I said airily, not yet sure if that was true.
"Just the two of you?"
"Yes, I suppose so."
"That settles it," he said.
"Settles what?"
"I shall have to ride with you."
"You!" I exploded. "You can't! You'll be needed here."
"Needed? Maybe. But it seems to me that the fate of Galhea is to travel south. I'm a fighter. I'm well trained, and I also know the way." He paused and smiled. I could see his teeth in the pale light. "Perhaps you are concerned I am not. .. har enough to travel with you and the celebrated Cal."
"I don't doubt your ability, Leef."
"Then trust my maturity too. You have nothing to worry about. What is done is done. The flower of Galhea rides south; he needs an escort. Much is at stake, Swift."
"Well, if you're sure . . . Thank you, Leef."
He stood up and came to stand behind me, circling me with his arms. "You are braver now," I remarked. "Terzian is not here, and you're no longer a child." "But I'm the beast that rejected you. I may do so again. Are you so confident or is it just the enormous amount of liquor that you've consumed, whose odor is now overpowering me?"
I could feel his laughter. "Liquid courage," he said. "I want to take aruna with you. Shall we go back to Forever or shall we ride into town?"
"You are impertinent!" I snapped. "Town, I think."
Since his promotion, Leef had been given his own house and staff to care for his needs. It was not a large house, but comfortable and warm. We drank wine beside the fire downstairs, sitting on hairy deerskin rugs. "This may sound a bit well-worn, but I have waited a long time for this," Leef told me with a grin.
"Your hair has grown," I said and reached to touch it. I could smell his desire, which is indescribable and different for everyone. He took my hands and kissed them. "You're always losing weight," I said. "You look even thinner."He shook his head. "No ... Swift, was it marvelous?" I thought he was still teasing, but when I looked at his eyes, they were serious.
"Yes, it was. I'm not going to say it should have been you, because it shouldn't... I want you now; is that enough?"
"Enough? Let me answer that properly. Come here!"
Aruna with Leef was nothing like the way it had been with Cal. He was gentle and lazy and loved to be fussed. When I
stroked him, he could purr like a cat. For a while he was content to lie there and be pampered, but once I began to show signs of being more ouana than soume, he laughed and threw me onto my back, lying over me so I could not move. "Swift," he said, "let me at least pretend I am the first! Be scared and shy and compliant. Be water to quench my heavenly fire!"
His hand slid down my back, competent and caressing. I smiled in the firelight.
"Look at me; already I am yours."
Later, we went up to his bedroom and we sleepily began to make plans.
"Tomorrow I shall have to tell them," I said, glumly.
"I shall come with you." Leef decided. "It might make it easier."
"No, I shall have to tell Cobweb, at least, alone. I suppose he knows already, but... half of me still doesn't want to go but I can't waste my life here."
"Ah, all the action's in the south and you want to be part of it!"
"Yes, if you like. I'm curious as well. What are they like? I know their culture is different from ours. Bryony says that Varrs are more like men. Perhaps the Gelaming won't even look anything like us."
Leef took me in his arms, seeking my neck with his mouth. I could feel his tongue on my skin. "Are you scared?" he asked in a muffled voice.
I thought about this for a moment. "Scared . . . scared. . . . Not really, strangely enough. If the Gelaming have really asked for me ..."
"If! Has it occurred to you that you may be a threat to them in some way? Perhaps it is a trap."
That thought had already occurred to me. "I shall soon find out," I said.
I went home early to find Cobweb and Cal conversing furtively in the drawing room. My absence had been noted and considered. Cobweb took in my rather bedraggled appearance with one chilling glance.
"Well, when are you leaving?" he demanded. I looked at Cal, who smiled and nodded.
"It's up to you," I said to him.
He shrugged. "As soon as possible, I suppose. We don't want to deprive the jaws of fate unnecessarily, now do we?"
"Leef is coming with us."
"How cozy."
There was a moment's silence. I wanted to run to both of them and hold them to me.
Cobweb leaned back in his chair. "I hope you're ready," he said ambiguously "lt's more than dreams," I said, and when our eyes met, I could tell he knew what I meant.
BOOK TWO
CHAPTER ONE
Phantom Evil
Panopy, ardor, ritual, pain, Death-stench, blood-stain,
War-magic, music-thrill, Weary limbs, love and kill.
Our day of departure was warm and cloudless, acid green mantling the trees to herald our way. "Once more into the jaws of chance!" Cal exclaimed in a weary voice. It was a
sentiment he was fond of, but I guessed he was not too sorry to leave. Our goodbyes on the previous evening had been emotional and wearing. Most of our household shared the suspicion that we would never return and probably cursed our folly.
I had asked Tel-an-Kaa to remain in Galhea for a while, thinking that Cobweb might find her presence a comfort. Some of the Zigane obviously welcomed a chance to rest, and I suspect that the Pythoness was one of them. As she had said, life beyond the fields of Galhea would astound me.
I had appropriated three of my father's best horses (his stables were always well stocked) and a packhorse from Ithiel. We were bristling with weapons and had a large tent so that our nights could be spent in comparative comfort. Cobweb loaded me with charms and packets of healing herbs. Tyson gave me a stick to ward off devils, casting mournful glances at Cal as we mounted our horses.
Leef said that we would have several weeks' traveling before we even began to approach where the Gelaming's defenses started. We set off at a brisk trot, westwards to avoid the forest, across the cropped fields. Herds of animals lumbered from our path, birds shrieked a warning of our intrusion. I could not accept that I was really leaving. It did not feel like it. Behind me, on their tree-mantled hills, the windows of Galhea sparkled in the rising sun. I could still make out Forever on the steepest slope, outlined against the sky. Bryony and Yarrow would be in the kitchens. Tyson would be waking up. Life would go on, as always.
Leef knew of several Wraeththu settlements to the south. We anticipated being able to
restock our supplies there, all of us agreeing that to strangers we would no longer be
Varrs, but just three travelers of no
particular tribe, making for the Gelaming. We had tried to make our clothing as
anonymous as possible, shrouding ourselves in gray, hooded cloaks, concealing our
weapons.
For the first three days our traveling was uninterrupted save for sleeping. We were lucky that my father's horses had been kept in prime condition and that we could keep up a steady, consistent pace. The first night we had some trouble in erecting the tent. Leef found out that some vital part was missing and we had to improvise. We made ourselves a small fire and cooked some of the meat we had brought with us. I had been wondering about the nighttimes, that time for starlight and stirrings. Neither Cal nor Leef was a stranger to me physically. I wondered what would happen should either of them approach me. We had only the one tent after all. This, of course, was yet another aspect of my inexperience. For the first two nights, we curled up separately in our blankets, too tired to think of the solace or the fire of aruna, and I began to think that this was the way it was to be for the entire journey, a thought which I found strangely comforting for it avoided awkwardness.
On the third evening, we camped on the edge of a dense pine forest; rustlings behind us in the darkness. I kept having to look over my shoulder. Leef crept off into the trees in search of prey for our supper, while I untackled the horses and brushed the dust and dried sweat from their coats. Cal came over to watch me for a while. I knew he had something to say; I just brushed and waited. Eventually, he said, "Tonight."
"Tonight what?"
"Oh, just arrangements," he replied. "Up till now there has been slight reticence, mostly coming from you, I think. This is the world of adults, little Swift. This is the way we do things from now on. The lifeblood of Wraeththu, remember?"
"Oh," I said dubiously. I carried on brushing the horse vigorously. Cal reached out quickly and covered my hand with his own to stop me.
"You're not in Galhea now," he said. I tried to smile at him, but his eyes were too dark.
"You must do as you think is right," I said.
Leef brought a large rabbit back to the fire, which he skinned and gutted and spitted on a stick. Cal shared our bread and cheese from our supplies and we drank wine from a bottle. Yarrow had only given us half a dozen; we had no room to carry more.
After the meal, Cal stretched out on the springy turf and said, "Ah, Paradise! Imagine this is Eden and we still have all our ribs!"
Leef laughed. "Hail, Lucifer!" he said. "Fallen angel."
"Angels have wings," I said.
"Six!" Cal propped himself up on his elbows. "Mine must have been burned off in the fall to hell. Where are yours, Swift?"
"Oh, in my heart."
"And yours, Leef?"
"Hidden; as all Wraeththu organs of magic. If you have no wings, Cal, I could take you flying."
All of this conversation was conducted with much grinning and laughter, but there was no denying the undercurrent.
"We must all fly," Cal said coolly. "We must fly together." He stood up, in the purple gloom lit by firelight, and shrugged away his clothing as if it had no substance. He stretched toward the sky, throwing back his head, a slim, white flame in the dusk. Leef s eyes gleamed with hunger, but the feast was before him. Cal reached for the moon, swaying, humming beneath his breath, summoning forth his inner strength. "Moon of radiance," he whispered, his hands twisting like moths. "Pale swimmer of the skies, I entreat thee by the elements to sanctify our communion in thy name. Before thee, I sacrifice my fire. Before thee I am aquatic. Hail Ofaniel, angel of the moon! Shine upon us."
O
nly the sound of the crackling fire broke the velvet silence. The waning moon shone back impassively at Cal's prayer. He shivered. Leef leaned forward on the grass. There was only one mouthful of wine left in the bottle. He threw it into the fire and murmured, "Ofaniel."
I too leaned toward the flames. They fought with the wine that had sought to smother them. I blew softly and the red glowed brighter. "Ofaniel," I said.
Cal looked over his shoulder at us. "Beyond Galhea," he murmured, "we must abide by the rules. We are in another land. It is safer." He reached out his hands and we took them in our own. "Complete the circle," he said. "Feel the current. I am soume. You must be fire. I am the altar." This was something I had never experienced. Aruna as it was meant to be; an act of magic. Leef and I shared breath above Cal's body and when Leef slid like a fish into the soume sea, I covered Cal's mouth with my own, filled with his sighs. Watching them, the fire of desire consumed me from within. I was almost delirious by the time Leef guided me gently into the moist folds, slippery with his seed. Cal's body shone beneath me and his hair was wet. This was true soume; he did not fight me. Afterwards, he collected our mingled essences in a cup and dug a hole in the earth with a stick.