She held me at arm's length, studying my face intently. "A mother knows. You're working too hard. You have to stop pushing yourself like this."
"I know, Mom, but believe me, I'm fine. I just haven't slept all that well the last few nights, that's all." Of course, I neglected to mention the reason why I hadn't been sleeping. There was no way I would admit the source of my insomnia was a guy. That was a can of worms I wasn't willing to open. I gave her a quick peck on the cheek to distract her. "By the way, Olivia sent me the cover proof for Wicked Lovely. Do you two want to see it?"
"Oh, I do," Ash chimed in, bouncing up and down. Her enthusiasm was infectious and was one of my favorite things about her. Zachary was a complete asshat for not proposing to her yet. My worst fear was that Ash would eventually get sick of waiting for him to pop the question and move on. I loved my brother dearly, but if that happened I would have to disown him.
Pulling out my phone, I clicked on my pictures icon where I had already stored the new cover. Both Mom and Ashley reacted with the appropriate enthusiasm I had expected.
"Oh my. That's what I call smoking," Ash said, fanning herself as Zachary and Tony came in from outside.
Zachary looked over, understandably curious. "Let me see," he demanded, holding out his hand for my phone. I debated not giving it to him. Alec had been a complete monkey's ass the other night, but I wasn't all that keen on hearing him being criticized.
Tony peered over his shoulder and I could tell they both wanted to find something negative to say, but neither of them could find anything.
"Too bad he's gay," Zachary finally said, handing the phone back to me.
I should have kept my mouth shut. It was an easy out. Let them assume Alec was gay. But no, I had to open my mouth like a complete dipshit. "Alec is definitely not gay," I stated with more emphasis than I intended.
Everyone's eyes pivoted to me, including Dad's and my other brother Riley's, who had walked in on the tail end of the conversation. "Who's not gay?" my dad asked. Great. Big Mouth Nicole had struck again.
"Apparently, 'Alec is definitely not gay,'" Zachary said, snapping his fingers in the air.
"Zach, stop teasing her," Ash said, coming to my defense.
Dad kissed me on the cheek and walked to the fridge to fill a glass he had pulled from the cabinet with ice. "Who's Alec?" He sat his glass on the counter and cracked open a can of Diet Coke.
"The model on her new cover. Quite the looker, I must say," mom said, winking at me.
Before I could react, Riley snuck up behind me and snatched the cell phone from my hand. "Oh yeah? If he's got Mom singing his praises, he must be something special," he said, swiping the screen to reveal the cover picture. "Holy shit. Oops." He covered his mouth and ducked out of the way when Mom swiped at his head with a dish towel. Even though we were all adults, my mom would not tolerate cussing in the house. "Sorry, Mom. That's just a very pretty man in that picture."
"Pretty? Maybe you're the one who's gay," Tony said, grabbing Riley in a headlock. They wrestled around, nearly knocking Dad's drink from his hands.
"Hey, knock it off," Dad yelled. My brothers stopped roughhousing immediately. He had always kept my brothers under control, and they knew when they had pushed him to the limits. "So what if this Alex is gay? It's none of our business."
"It's Alec, and he's not gay. I mean, I don't think he's gay," I lamented lamely, trying to fix my mistake. At this point it was a lost cause. I had already put my foot in my mouth. Zachary's and Tony's eyes sparkled, obviously sensing a conspiracy. Even Mom looked delighted, like she could read my mind. Shit. Shit and double shit. She'd have me married off before the evening was over if it was up to her.
"Be still, my heart. I think our Nikki Pooh has a crush," Riley proclaimed. And to think he was my favorite brother. We were the closest since we were only a year apart. What a traitor. See if I asked him to do the playlist for Wicked Lovely now. Riley had aspirations of becoming a producer after studying music in college. He was actually quite talented and could play seven instruments. Still, music genius or not, he could stick it.
"I do not." I wished I had more conviction in my words, but how could I when I didn't believe them myself? Instead, my traitorous lack of a poker face decided to show up.
"There it is, ladies and gentlemen. Nikki Red has shown up for the party," Zachary laughed, using the nickname they had coined for me when we were kids because my cheeks would blush bright red from embarrassment.
"Boys, stop teasing your sister," Mom said. I shot her a grateful look, hoping we could all return to being adults. "Now, tell me all about this boy who has you so worked up," she added, slinging an arm across my shoulders.
I sighed. They were all incorrigible. "Mom, I'm not worked up. I just meant to say I went out with him and he's not gay." I was doing a horrible job of thinking before I spoke. The words came out before I could stop them. Seriously, I needed to cut out my tongue.
Suddenly no one had anything to say. They all looked more shocked than anything. It wasn't that farfetched of an idea that I had a date. Maybe in their eyes Alec was out of my ballpark or something, but they didn't have to look like I'd just told them I was carrying Satan's baby. "I have to use the bathroom," I said, walking away before they could say another word.
Closing the bathroom door behind me, I sighed with relief when I twisted the lock and heard it engage. The downstairs bathroom was only a half bath with a pedestal sink and a toilet, but it felt like a luxurious sanctuary after the barracuda's nest I had just left. I knew they would pounce on me the moment I opened the door, but for now I was safe.
Gripping the cold porcelain of the sink, I glanced in the mirror and nearly startled myself at the almost wild look in my eyes. No wonder they had all been eyeing me like I'd gone off the deep end. I was being utterly ridiculous. I needed to get over Alec. Just because he was on my new cover didn't mean I'd have to see him again. I'd also tell Olivia not to use him on any of my covers in the future. She'd understand.
When I resurfaced from the bathroom I didn't get the full-blown inquisition I had been expecting. I didn't know if I should have felt insulted or relieved. Maybe Mom and Dad had told my brothers to lay off. Whatever the reason, no one uttered another word about Alec. Instead, the conversation shifted to the Rays game that was about to start. We sat in front of the TV eating pizza like every other Sunday.
Chapter Eight
"Don't be mad."
Nothing good ever came from those words. Truthfully, their use together should be stricken from the English language.
I paused the show I had been binge watching. Anytime I finished a book I allowed myself an entire day of mindless TV. I'd watch an entire season of one of my favorite shows without any guilt. This time I picked one of my favorite shows on HGTV and I didn't want to miss it. I shifted my phone to my other ear. "What did you do?" I asked Olivia.
"First, you need to remember that I always have your best interests at heart. You know I'm your biggest cheerleader when it comes to your victories and milestones. I want nothing more than N.S. Blake to be a household name. I feel your brand is the most important thing at the moment and that we should be working aggressively to build it." Her words poured out like a tidal wave.
"What did you do?" I repeated.
"Fine. It's no big deal anyway. I answered one of the emails that you haven't gotten a chance to get to yet."
I waited. So far she wasn't confessing to anything she hadn't done before. Olivia not only helped with my covers, but she also acted as an assistant when she knew I was deep in my writing cave. She helped me answer emails and keep my schedule organized.
When I didn't speak, she continued. "Anyway, Indie Booklicious Con wanted to know if you would participate in their Cover-Extravaganza. Naturally, it seemed like a great idea. I know that you wanted to get the word out for Wicked Lovely, so I figured it was a win-win situation."
Her words sounded reasonable. I couldn't argue with anything she had said, a
nd yet, the way she acted it didn't take an Einstein to know there was a boom on the way. It had to be a doozy the way she was buttering me up.
"So, I told them you would absolutely like to participate this weekend at the signing, and that you would be happy to bring your cover model with you." She spoke quickly, like she felt if she got the words out fast enough I wouldn't have time to object.
I shook my head even though she couldn't see me. There was no way that my best friend, who I loved, who I trusted above anyone else, would do this to me again. Especially after I basically told her I would rather poke my eyes out with a rusty fork than see Alec again.
"What are you telling me, Liv?" I rubbed my temple to ease the sudden headache that had popped up.
"I'm sorry, Nic, but I honestly feel it's the best thing for you at the moment. We both know from your last book event in Chicago that bringing your cover model with you has become popular. Readers like taking pictures with them. It makes them feel like they're getting a chance to actually step into your pages."
I closed my eyes in resignation. I knew she was right. We had even talked about it after the Chicago signing. It was a great marketing advantage and definitely attracted attention at signings. Up to this point I had shied away from bringing attention to myself at events. Talking to new people was something I was still getting used to. I envied my writer friends who were naturally outgoing at the signings. They interacted and engaged their readers in a way I hadn't done yet. Making it through one signing with Alec could help change that.
"Nicole?" Olivia said my name cautiously, waiting for me to bite her head off.
"Okay," I answered, giving in.
"Okay?" She squealed jubilantly.
"Yes, okay. I'm not going to say I'm crazy about the idea, but I know if I want this new book to make its way into the hands of new readers, I need to step outside my comfort zone. I feel like I'm being thrown into the deep end of the pool with Alec, but I'm sure I'll survive. And hey, if I don't, you'll get all my stuff. Just make sure Severus is taken care of."
"It's a good thing you're not being dramatic or anything," she said dryly. "So, if it's settled and you're not going to kill me, I'll set it up with Alec. I'm sure he'll jump at the chance for more exposure and to—" Her words stopped as she remembered who she was talking to.
"That's fine, Liv. Just make sure you lay down the ground rules."
"Ground rules?"
"Yes, like no fondling the women during the signing, and no going home with anyone." I'm sure my rules sounded ludicrous. It wasn't like I could dictate who Alec could and couldn't flirt with, let alone who he slept with.
"Uh, Nicole. I think Alec knows the boundaries of being professional."
"Fine. I just want to make sure he understands we're promoting my book. Not finding him a date," I snapped, taking out my aggravation on her. I ended the call abruptly before I could say anything else stupid.
The rest of my week passed in a flurry of activity that was broken up by bouts of self-doubt. Wicked Lovely had been sent to my editor, and I decided to take the week off from writing to prepare for the signing that weekend. Olivia came over midweek to help me pack my inventory and sort through my swag. Neither of us mentioned Alec.
Instead, we talked about how since Indie Booklicious Con was being held in Orlando, this would be the first significant signing my family would be attending. I was nervous about their expectations. My reader following was slowly growing, but there were plenty of other authors at the signing who had diehard fans. I had to remind myself that this signing was about the new series. It was about putting myself out there.
I couldn't help teasing Olivia about seeing my brothers. It was common knowledge in our household that Tony had been crushing on Olivia for years. She had shot him down numerous times, claiming she wouldn't let some guy ruin her friendship with me. Dating Tony would inevitably do that. Tony remained persistent and never let an opportunity to flirt with her slide by. This Saturday would be interesting since we were all going to dinner after the signing and Taylor would be joining us.
Olivia laughed it off, but I knew her well enough to know she was also nervous about Saturday. At least it wouldn't just be me who might become frazzled.
Friday night Olivia and I headed out to hang out with some of my blogger and author friends who had arrived a day early for the signing. It had become a ritual of ours to get together anytime we did the same events. There was an organized mix-and-mingle party at the hotel where the signing was being held.
To save time in the morning, our plan was to drop off my stuff for the signing tonight since we'd be there for the mixer anyway. The hotel lobby was abuzz with groups of convention-goers scattered around the large room talking and gossiping about everything from the latest books they had read to who said what and why on social media. Over the last year that I'd been attending these types of events, I had come to realize writing was such a solitary experience that when you got a bunch of authors and book lovers together, a pent-up noise explosion was sure to follow. At times it could be overwhelming, but for the most part it was fabulous hanging with so many people with common interests.
"You want a drink?" Olivia asked, scanning the room for the bar.
I shook my head. "You go ahead." I had spotted Melissa across the room and wanted to chat with her.
"You sure? Not even a Coke?"
"Maybe in a little while."
"Okay. I'll be back in a few."
I nodded. "I'll be with Melissa and Tracey over there," I said, heading toward two of my friends I had met through Facebook. The idea that I had met so many people online was funny to me. It reminded me of the dating sites I would see commercials for on TV, but for friendships.
"Nicole!" Melissa greeted me in her normal exuberant way, giving me a tight hug. "What took you so long to get here?"
"I had to drop off all my crap in the ballroom," I answered, giving Tracey a hug. "When did you guys arrive?"
"I got here a couple hours ago," Tracey answered.
"Me too," Melissa added, taking a sip from her drink. "Is it always armpit hot down here?"
"This is nothing. Wait till August. When you live here you learn to go from one air conditioned spot to another."
"My family came along so we could visit the Mouse House. My kids have been dying to go to Disney, but we're going to be like fried eggs out there," Tracey said dryly.
Melissa and I laughed. By the time Olivia joined us, we were all comparing the good and bad of our home states. Eventually, more and more people joined our group until we had about a dozen different conversations going on. The tension I had been feeling during the week began to sap away, and for the rest of the evening Alec became an afterthought.
Our late night made it hard to get up the next day. Olivia and I were grumpy and barely spoke until I drove through a Starbucks and picked us up a couple of coffees. The caffeine didn't help my nerves, which were already on edge. Alec may not have been on my mind last night, but this morning was a different story. The thoughts bounced around my head like a ping-pong ball on crack, painting different scenarios of how our interaction today would go.
Would he say something about that night, or pretend it never happened? The last thing I wanted was to create a scene and become the topic of the latest gossip in everyone's Facebook groups. As long as Alec and I both acted like professionals, the day would work out fine.
The closer we got to the hotel, the more anxious I became. My stomach was tied in knots. If I didn't have Olivia with me, I would have considered skipping the event. Luckily, she was my rock and would drag me inside if she had to. Not to mention, my family and readers would be disappointed.
"You okay?" Olivia asked as I pulled into a parking spot. Her voice startled me. I didn't realize I had been gripping the steering wheel like it was a life preserver.
"I'm fine," I lied, opening my door and forcing my body out of the jeep.
Olivia carried our coffees while I signed us in and collect
ed our ID lanyards from the convention's registration desk. People from different directions waved and called out greetings to us as we headed toward the large banquet room to set up. Inside, dozens of authors scurried about like busy bees organizing their tables with books, swag and other types of merchandise to sell. Tall banners were being assembled and placed prominently around the room. Some of the authors were quite creative with their displays.
Olivia and I were currently fighting with the stand for my vertical banner when the subtle scent of Alec's cologne caught my attention. I realized how sad it was to be able to recognize him by his cologne, but the smell seemed to be engrained into my senses. Of course he would walk up when I was bent over with my ass in the air.
"Need some help there?"
"No, we got it." Olivia looked at me without saying a word, but I knew she was questioning the harshness of my response.
"If you say so," he replied.
I could practically see the shit-eating grin on his face without turning around. Mocking me wasn't going to get our day off to a good start. My hand closed around one of the metal bars from my banner stand. For a moment, I considered whacking him in the nuts, but I counted to ten in my head to calm down. It came to my attention since meeting Alec a few weeks ago that I'd developed quite the violent tendencies. I was becoming downright demented. My brothers would be so proud. Zachary and Tony always claimed I was too much of a pushover.
Alec stood idly by while Olivia and I fought and cursed my banner, trying to get it extended to its full height. The problem was neither of us was tall enough to lock it into place at the top. Olivia opened her mouth to ask Alec for help, but I shot her a look that stopped her. Reaching over with my free hand, I dragged my chair closer so I could stand on it to click the banner into place. I may have knocked over my boxes in the process, but it was better than asking for Alec's help.
Just as I stepped off the chair to pat myself on the back, the banner came undone at the top of the stand and tumbled at my feet. Olivia snorted, trying to hide her laughter. She turned away and knelt down to pick up the boxes I had knocked over.