And then, Lucerne would say, hooking Toby back into her story -- and then a strange thing had happened: she'd recognized Zeb.
"I've seen you before," she'd said. "Didn't you used to be at HelthWyzer? But you weren't working on the grounds then! You were -- "
"Mistaken identity," said Zeb. And then he'd kissed her. That kiss had gone right into her like a knife, and she'd crumpled into his arms like -- like a dead fish -- no -- like a petticoat -- no -- like damp tissue paper! And then he'd picked her up and laid her down on the lawn, right where anyone could have seen, which was an unbelievable turn-on, and then he'd undone her kimono and pulled the petals off the roses he was holding and scattered them all over her body, and then the two of them ... It was like a high-speed collision, said Lucerne, and she'd thought, How can I survive this, I'm going to die right here and now! And she could tell he felt the same.
Later -- quite a lot later, after they were living together -- he'd told her she'd been right. Yes, he'd been at HelthWyzer, but for reasons he wouldn't go into he'd had to leave in a hurry, and he trusted her not to mention that earlier time and place he'd once inhabited, not to anybody. Which she hadn't mentioned. Or not very much. Except right now, to Toby.
Back then, though, during her Spa sojourn -- thank god she hadn't been having any skin procedure that would have made her scabby, she'd just been there for a tuneup -- back then, they'd had several more appetizer-sized helpings of each other, locked into one of the showers in the Spa pool's changeroom, and after that she was stuck to Zeb like a wet leaf. As he was to her, she added. They couldn't get enough of each other.
And then, after her Spa sessions were over and she was back at her so-called home, she'd slip out of the Compound on one pretext or another -- shopping errands, mostly, the things you could buy in the Compound were so predictable -- and they'd met secretly in the pleeb-lands -- it was so exciting at first! -- such funny places, junky little love hotels and rent-a-rooms, you took them by the hour, so far away from the buttoned-down ambiance of the HelthWyzer Compound; and then, when he'd had to travel in a hurry -- there was some trouble, she'd never understood why, but he needed to get away very fast -- and, well, she couldn't bear to be apart from him.
So she'd left her so-called husband, not that it didn't serve him right for being so inert. And they'd moved around from one city to another, from one trailer park to another, and Zeb had bought a few black-market procedures, for his fingers and his DNA and so on; and then, when it was safe, they'd come back, right here, to the Gardeners. Because Zeb had told her he'd been a Gardener all along. Or so he'd said. Anyway, he seemed to know Adam One quite well. They'd been to school together. Or something like that.
So Zeb was forced into it, Toby thought. He was ex-Corps, on the run; maybe he'd been black-marketing some proprietary item, such as a nanotechnology or a gene splice. That could be fatal if you were caught. And Lucerne had put face and ex-name together, and he'd had to distract her with sex, then take her with him to ensure her loyalty. It was either that or kill her. He couldn't leave her behind: she would have felt scorned, she'd have set the CorpSeCorps dogs on him. Still, what a risk he'd taken. The woman was like an amateur car bomb: you never knew when she'd blow up or who she'd take down with her when she did. Toby wondered whether Zeb had ever thought of stuffing a cork down her epiglottis and slotting her into a carbon garboil dumpster.
But maybe he loved her. In his way. Hard though that was for Toby to picture. However, perhaps the love had run out, because he wasn't doing enough maintenance work on her at the moment.
"Hasn't your husband looked for you?" Toby had asked the first time she'd heard this tale. "The one at HelthWyzer?"
"I don't consider that man to be my husband any more," Lucerne said in an offended tone.
"Excuse me. Your former husband. Haven't the CorpSeCorps ... did you leave him a message?" The trail of Lucerne, if followed, would lead right to the Gardeners -- not only to Zeb, but to Toby herself, and to her own former identity. Which could be uncomfortable for her: the CorpSeCorps never wrote off skipped debts, and what if anyone had dug up her father?
"Why would they spend the money?" said Lucerne. "I'm not important to them. As for my former husband" -- she gave a little grimace -- "he ought to have married an equation. Maybe he doesn't even notice I've gone."
"What about Ren?" said Toby. "She's a lovely little girl. Surely he misses her."
"Oh," said Lucerne. "Yes. He probably does notice that."
Toby wanted to ask why Lucerne hadn't simply left Ren behind with her father. Stealing her away, leaving no information -- it seemed like a petty act of spite. But asking such a question would simply make Lucerne angry -- it would sound too much like criticism.
Two blocks away from the Cheese Factory, Toby ran into a pleebrat street fight -- Asian Fusions versus Blackened Redfish, with a few Lintheads shouting around the edges. These kids were only seven or eight, but there were a lot of them, and when they spotted her they stopped yelling at one another and started yelling at her. Goddie goddie, whitey bitch! Get her shoes!
She swivelled so her back was against a wall and prepared to fend them off. It was difficult to kick them really hard when they were that young -- as Zeb had pointed out in his Urban Bloodshed Limitation class, there was a species inhibition against hurting children -- but she knew she'd have to, because they could be deadly. They'd aim for her stomach, ram her with their hard little heads, try to pull her down. The smaller ones had a nasty habit of hoisting the Gardener women's baggy skirts and diving in under them, then biting whatever they could find once they were in there. But she was ready for them: when they got close enough, she'd twist their ears or chop their necks with the side of her hand, or bang two of their little skulls together.
Suddenly, however, they swerved like a school of fish, rushed past her, and disappeared into an alleyway.
She turned her head, saw why. It was Blanco. He wasn't in Painball at all. He must have been let out. Or got out, somehow.
Panic gripped her heart. She saw his red-and-blue flayed hands, she felt her bones crumbling. This was her worst fear.
Take hold, she told herself. He was across the street, and she was inside her baggy coverall and had her nose cone on, so maybe he couldn't recognize her. And he'd given no sign yet that he'd noticed her. But she was alone, and he wasn't above a random stomp-and-rape. He'd drag her up that very same alleyway, the one where the pleebrats had gone. Then he'd rip off the cone and see who she was. And that would be the end, but it wouldn't be a quick end. It would be as slow as he could make it. He'd turn her into a flesh billboard -- a not-quite-living demonstration of his rank finesse.
She turned quickly and marched away as fast as she could, before he'd had a chance to focus his malevolence on her. Breathless, she turned the corner, went half a block, glanced back. He wasn't there.
For once she was more than happy to reach the door of Lucerne's apartment. She raised her nose cone, twitched the muscles of her professional smile, and knocked.
"Zeb?" Lucerne called. "Is that you?"
SAINT EUELL OF WILD FOODS
SAINT EUELL OF WILD FOODS
YEAR TWELVE.
OF THE GIFTS OF SAINT EUELL.
SPOKEN BY ADAM ONE.
My Friends, my Fellow Creatures, my dear Children:
This day marks the beginning of Saint Euell's Week, during which we will be foraging for the Wild Harvest gifts that God, through Nature, has put at our disposal. Pilar, our Eve Six, will lead us in a ramble through the Heritage Park, hunting for Fungi, and Burt, our Adam Thirteen, will aid us with the Edible Weeds. Remember -- if in doubt, spit it out! But if a mouse has eaten it, you can probably eat it too. Though not invariably.
The older children will have a demonstration by Zeb, our respected Adam Seven, concerning the trapping of small Animals for survival food in times of pressing need. Remember, nothing is unclean to us if gratitude is felt and pardon asked, and if we ourselves are willing to offer our
selves to the great chain of nourishment in our turn. For where else lies the deep meaning of sacrifice?
Burt's esteemed wife, Veena, is still in her Fallow state, though we hope to welcome her back among us very soon. Let us wish Light around her.
Today we meditate upon Saint Euell Gibbons, who flourished upon this Earth from 1911 to 1975, so long ago but so close to us in our hearts. As a boy, when his father left home to seek work, Saint Euell provided for his family through his Natural knowledge. He went to no high school but Yours, oh Lord. In Your Species he found his teachers, often strict but always true. And then he shared those teachings with us.
He taught the uses of Your many Puffballs, and the other wholesome Fungi; he taught the dangers of the poisonous species, which however can also be of Spiritual value, if taken in judicious quantities.
He sang the virtues of the wild Onion, of the wild Asparagus, of the wild Garlic, that toil not, neither do they spin, nor do they have pesticides sprayed upon them, if they happily grow far enough away from agribusiness crops. He knew the roadside medicines: the bark of the Willow in respect of pains and fevers, the root of the Dandelion as a diuretic in the shedding of excess fluid. He taught us not to waste; for even the lowly Nettle, so often wrenched up and thrown away, is a source of many vitamins. He taught us to improvise; for if there is no Sorrel, there may be Cattails; and if there are no Blueberries, the wild Cranberry may perhaps abound.
Saint Euell, may we sit with you in Spirit at your table, that lowly tarpaulin spread upon the ground; and dine with you upon wild Strawberries, and upon spring Fiddleheads, and upon young Milkweed pods, lightly simmered, with a little butter substitute if it can be obtained.
And in the time of our greatest need, help us to accept whatever Fate may bring us; and whisper into our inner and Spiritual ears the names of the Plants, and their seasons, and the locations in which they may be found.
For the Waterless Flood is coming, in which all buying and selling will cease, and we will find ourselves thrown back upon our own resources, in the midst of God's bounteous Garden. Which was your Garden also.
Let us sing.
OH SING WE NOW THE HOLY WEEDS
Oh sing we now the Holy Weeds
That flourish in the ditch,
For they are for the meek in needs,
They are not for the rich.
You cannot buy them at the mall,
Nor at the superstore,
They are despised because they all
Grow freely for the poor.
The Dandelion shoots, for spring,
Before their flowers burst;
The Burdock root is best in June
When it is fat with juice; When autumn comes, the Acorn's ripe,
The Walnut black is too;
Young Milkweed pods are sweet when boiled,
And Milkweed shoots when new.
The inner bark of Spruce and Birch
For extra Vitamin C --
But do not take too much of each,
Or you will kill the tree.
The Purslane, Sorrel, Lamb's Quarters,
And Nettles, too, are good;
The Hawthorn, Elder, Sumac, Rose --
Their berries wholesome food.
The Holy Weeds are plentiful
And beautiful to see --
For who can doubt God put them there,
So starved we'll never be?
From The God's Gardeners Oral Hymnbook
24
REN
YEAR TWENTY-FIVE
I remember what the dinner was, that night in the Sticky Zone: it was ChickieNobs. I couldn't deal with meat very well ever since the Gardeners, but Mordis said that ChickieNobs were really vegetables because they grew on stems and didn't have faces. So I ate half of them.
Then I did some dancing to keep in practice. I had my own Sea/H/Ear Candy, and I sang along. Adam One said music was built into us by God: we could sing like the birds but also like the angels, because singing was a form of praise that came from deeper than just talking, and God could hear us better when we were singing. I try to remember that.
Then I looked in on the Snakepit again. There were three guys from Painball in the Snakepit -- ones who'd just got out. You could always tell because they were freshly shaved, with new haircuts, and new clothes too, and they had a stunned look, like they'd been kept in a dark closet for a long time. Also they had a little tattoo at the base of their left thumb -- a round circle, red or bright yellow, depending on whether they were Red Team or Gold Team. The other customers were sort of moving back from them, giving them room, but respectfully -- as if they were webstars or sports heroes instead of Painball criminals. Rich guys loved to imagine themselves as Painball players. They gambled on the teams as well: Red against Gold. A lot of money changed hands over Painball.
There were always two or three CorpSeCorps guys minding the Painball vets -- they could go berserk and do a lot of damage. We Scalies were never allowed to be alone with them: they didn't understand make-believe, they never knew when to stop, and they could break a lot more than the furniture. It was best to get them wasted, but it had to be fast or they'd go into full rage mode.
"I'd bar those assholes myself," said Mordis. "Nothing much human left inside that scar tissue of theirs. But SeksMart pays us a bigtime extra bonus when it's them."
We'd feed them drinks and pills, with a shovel if we could. There was something new they'd started using just after I went into the Sticky Zone -- BlyssPluss, it was called. Hassle-free sex, total satisfaction, blow you right out of your skin, plus 100 percent protection -- that was the word on it. Scales girls weren't allowed to do drugs on the job -- we weren't paid to enjoy ourselves, said Mordis -- but this was different, because if you took it you didn't need a Biofilm Bodyglove, and a lot of customers would pay extra that way. Scales was testing the BlyssPluss for the ReJoov Corp, so they weren't handing it out like candy -- it was mostly for the top customers -- but I could hardly wait to try it.
We always got huge tips on Painball nights, though none of us regular Scales girls had to do plank duty with the new vets because we were skilled artists and any damage to us would be pricey. For the basic bristle work they brought in the temporaries -- smuggled Eurotrash or Tex-Mexicans or Asian Fusion and Redfish minors scooped off the streets because the Painball guys wanted membrane, and after they were finished you'd be judged contaminated until proved otherwise, and Scales didn't want to spend Stick Zone money either testing these girls or fixing them up. I never saw them twice. They walked in the door, but I don't think they walked out. In a shoddier club they'd have been used for the guys acting out their vampire fantasies, but that involved mouth-to-blood contact, and as I said, Mordis liked to keep it clean.
That night one of the Painball guys had Starlite on his lap, giving him the signature twist. She was in her peagret-feather outfit with the headdress, and maybe she was terrific from the front, but from my angle of vision it looked like the guy had a big blue-green duster working him over -- like a dry carwash.
The second guy was gazing up at Savona with his mouth open and his head so far back it was almost at right angles to his spine. If her grip slips, she'll snap his neck. If that happens, I thought, he won't be the first guy to be carted out the back door of Scales and dumped in a vacant lot with no clothes on. He was an older guy, bald on top, with a ponytail at the back, and a lot of arm tattoos. There was something familiar about him -- maybe he was a repeat -- but I didn't get a very good look.
The third one was drinking himself into mud. Maybe he was trying to forget what he'd done inside the Painball Arena. I never watched the Painball Arena website myself. It was too disgusting. I only knew about it because men talk. It's amazing what they'll tell you, especially if you're covered with shiny green scales and they can't see your real face. It must be like talking to a fish.
Nothing else was happening, so I called Amanda on her cell. But she wasn't answering. Maybe she was asleep, rolled up in her slee
ping bag out there in Wisconsin. Maybe she was sitting around a campfire and the two Tex-Mexicans were playing their guitars and singing, and Amanda was singing too because she knew the Tex-Mex language. Maybe there was a moon up above and some coyotes howling in the distance, just like an old movie. I hoped so.
25
Things changed in my life when Amanda came to live with me, and they changed again in the Saint Euell's Week when I was almost thirteen. Amanda was older: she'd already grown real tits. It's strange how you measure time that way.
That year, Amanda and I -- and Bernice as well -- would be joining the older kids for Zeb's Predator-Prey Relationship demonstration, when we'd have to eat real prey. I had a faint memory of meat-eating, back at the HelthWyzer Compound. But the Gardeners were very much against it except in times of crisis, so the idea of putting a chunk of bloody muscle and gristle into my mouth and pushing it down inside my throat was nauseating. I vowed not to throw up, though, because that would embarrass me a lot and make Zeb look bad.
I wasn't worried about Amanda. She was used to eating meat, she'd done it lots of times before. She used to lift SecretBurgers whenever she could. So she'd be able to chew and swallow as if there was nothing to it.
On the Monday of Saint Euell's Week, we put our clean clothes on -- clean yesterday -- and I braided Amanda's hair, and then she braided mine. "Primate grooming," Zeb called it.
We could hear Zeb singing in the shower:
Nobody gives a poop.
Nobody gives a poop;
And that is why we're in the soup,
Cause nobody gives a poop!
I'd come to find this morning singing of his a comforting sound. It meant things were ordinary, at least for that day.
Usually Lucerne stayed in bed until we were gone, partly to avoid Amanda, but today she was in the kitchen area, wearing her dark-coloured Gardener dress, and she was actually cooking. She'd been making that effort more often lately. Also she was keeping our living space tidier. She was even growing a raggedy tomato plant in a pot on the sill. I think she was trying to make things nice for Zeb, though they were having more fights. They made us go outside when they were fighting, but that didn't mean we couldn't listen in.