"I do not know what to say, because you realize yourself that you do not have real reasons to be angry with Daniel."
"I do not have WITH HIM" cried Simon, obtaining the dual effect of silencing Cristina and find some 'determination.
"Why scream, you hear from you granny? You agree with you too? "
"As far as I can be the best boyfriend in the world," said Simon, ignoring that last comment. "Indeed I will hope, but I just want to warn you because INI ..."
"Because of you has already happened," preceded Cristina clenched teeth.
"Yes, but not only, it is because in general they all look wonderful early reports, the boy you like is the man of your dreams, you'd be willing to marry him the next day ..."
"If I can please you do not want to marry Daniel, not for the next five years, provided that we are still together."
"Would you be willing to give him everything, because you are convinced that ..."
"What do you mean?" This time Cristina did not allow his mother to continue to talk about leaving your comment. "What do you mean?" He repeated, with more strength.
"I will not say anything, just that you have to be careful and properly evaluate all aspects before ..."
"You think it's a girl of those?" Spat Cristina, both blushing with embarrassment, the anger that stemmed from treating certain topics. Not to mention that Simon had centered in the middle of the question, why further increased his fury. "You think I'm a whore who goes to bed with the first that understood?" He began to cry.
"I never thought about this and not think about anything, because I know what kind of girl you are. I know you're educated, and I have always had the father meets ... "
"Yes, cut the licks, tell me the truth. If they thought would not be here to tell me these things. "
Simon took a breath to speak, then checked himself. He reflected, then shoot. "When I was nineteen, just like you do now - and I do not think that it is invented to make the comparison with you, it's the truth - I ... I had met a boy I was madly in love, love at first sight in a disco, a very romantic Valentine's evening and ... "
Christina waited more weeping in silence.
"I got pregnant. At nineteen, he was the lesser of two evils, because ... Well, because he went, he reacted badly and ... In short, without going into detail lost the baby. It is a story that does not even know his father, a secret that I carry within me and that has in part ruined his life, not that I've recovered thanks to Dad and to you. It all happened because I let myself go too much with a person of whom I knew nothing. So you think I believe if I tell you that this is not the usual scene of heavy mother who tries to set some limits to his daughter, but a sincere advice from friend to be careful to let it pass you the time to know you more deeply, to see if Fabrizio interest at a deep level or ... "
"A Daniel" corrected Cristina.
"How?" Said Simon, losing his train of thought.
"His name is Daniel, not Fabrizio."
"Oh, sorry," said Simon, adding that he wanted So there is no difference . "Anyway."
"Anyway, nice try, nice words, I am also sorry for what happened to you, but the juice does not change" attacked Cristina. "Are you opposed to our relationship."
"But why do not you understand? Why are you so stupid? "Simon was frustrated, well aware of his attitude towards Fabrizio, the total dependence on him which he had found the victim, an attraction and admiration for which he could have killed. Cristina was obviously at that stage, but it should not give up the attempt to open her eyes. To save it.
Cristina smiled contemptuously. "I am stupid? I'm not the one you got pregnant is like a cow, "snapped and ran out of the room, headed downstairs. Simona is petrified. His suspicions were correct: Cristina had never addressed her with words even remotely offensive and gave her the cow .
But the major problem was different: the first attempt went badly. Cristina was not willing to question Daniel, even before the story of the traumatic experience of her unwanted pregnancy. Simon wondered how he could hope to make them believe the story of heredity, that terrible sentence which was predestined, even if you deign to listen to her motherly advice.
One step at a time , he thought. He decided he would try to discredit Daniel touching aspects other than purely sexual and that as a last alternative would tell the truth to Christina. Maybe putting it in writing, to avoid being constantly interrupted as had happened that afternoon.
***
"Oh, hello, Cristina" Olga greeted by opening the front door of the apartment and finding, surprisingly, the granddaughter of Isa. It was not yet come to visit her after the ugly incident did Simona and in general had always submitted unwillingly even if it was accompanied by her parents. She was a hard, like most teenagers her age. Adolescent girls of her age here in Italy, because in Ukraine the girls knew a very different and were less capricious and more respectful. "How are you?"
"Where is Grandma?" Asked Cristina, without smiling. There was no time for conversation, not with Olga.
"Lei. .." Olga said, puzzled and impressed by the attitude of the rude girl. He had just taken from his mother. If she were his daughter he would say a few words about how to behave, but her daughter was in Ukraine to try to bring home some savings to pay for school. "It's in the living room, waiting for them to prepare to eat."
Cristina Olga entered and passed through a rush and would have certainly affected if the caregiver had not pulled back. "Go on, be glad to see," he said, trying to keep warm. She closed the door, wondering what had happened and he imagined that Cristina had quarreled with his father, who had forced her to visit her grandmother, as was proper. But soon abandoned the conjecture: it was not his business and there was a dinner to prepare.
***
Matthias had spent the whole morning by his grandmother Gisella. Dad told him he would be committed against his will, to talk with a friend of the mother but that he and Christine would have reached for lunch together. He had also promised that he would accompany him in the afternoon in the pool and that would be a blast.
Gisella had prepared a hearty breakfast of hot chocolate, cookies, croissants and jam, but Mattia had nibbled only a couple of biscuits. Since the death of his mother had lost the pleasure of doing many things and one of them was eating. Another was enjoying the summer holidays: the school had been over for several days, yet he had even the slightest part of the happiness which is usually the beginning of summer break brought him. Although only a child, had often wondered if he would ever really been happy from then on.
"Would you like to try Stefano call here?" Gisella had asked him after breakfast. Stephen was a classmate who lived even half a kilometer from there and already a couple of occasions he was called upon to try to draw a smile and a few hours of light-heartedness to Matthias, but in vain.
"No," he answered. "I have to do some 'exercises." He brought with him the backpack he used at school and had taken the book out tasks for the holidays. "Today I have a page of math, which I like best."
"You're very good" had praised his grandmother. "I do not know how many moms would envy you, and sit alone to do their homework, and math, among other things, that nobody likes."
"I envy the other hand, even if their mothers are not happy," she replied Mattia, surprisingly, the expression of the saddest Gisella had ever read in his face. "Because at least my mother have it yet," he explained, opening the book to the page of the day and catching up a pencil from his box of Spiderman .
A Gisella had contracted the stomach. He wanted to go and hug him, arruffargli hair, fill it with kisses, but she stopped: actions would be appropriate for a child, but at that moment was far from Matthias, pulled from his childhood by a tragic event. It was found to be hoped that at least he had to suffer other injuries for some time.
***
"Hello, Grandmother," Christine said goodbye, entering the room plunged into darkness and filled with a cool temperature, although there was no air conditioner or fan on. Sometimes, th
e mere presence of an elderly person in the house seemed to somehow make it less hot and muggy in summer.
Isa did not answer, persisting nell'inspiegabile silence in which she had taken refuge after the death of his daughter. Unlike other occasions he was not watching TV, or was busy leafing through magazines or knitting. She was sitting, his eyes planted against the wall in front of him, where a piece of antique furniture and home to the old bulky cathode ray tube TVs and some pictures framed photos of Matthew and Christina by children and Simon and Rob have their wedding day.
"Grandma," repeated Christina, raising his voice and keeping of a serious attitude, not really angry, but with nerves on edge, ready to explode. It might well consider that the worst day of his life. He moved forward a few paces, taking in the visual field of Isa, so he was forced to pay attention to what was showing her the view, since they could no longer count on hearing. Or would not.
Isa lifted his head slightly but his eyes did not follow the movement, as they had been nailed to its original position. He made no smiles, no wonder no happiness at being in front of her grandchild. A subtle, involuntary contraction of the upper lip betrayed a certain inexplicable nervousness on his part.
"How was that?" Cristina asked bluntly, throwing a casual look to the hallway that led to the kitchen to make sure that Olga was not listening. In any case, what difference did it make?
Isa did not move but once again his face was talking to her. A slight wrinkle was added to those already rolling down his forehead and eyes appeared a shade somewhere between sadness and fear.
"Do not pretend not to hear or understand" the attacked Cristina, he perceived as the thin barrier that was holding back from lashing out against his grandmother was rapidly losing consistency. She reached down, bending knees, and stood straight in the face of Isa, with decision. I almost took her head in her hands to force her to look into her eyes.
"I know everything, right? I know the whole story and ... I also know you're only pretending to have lost his speech and that you are perfectly clear, you just ... afraid, "he ventured, driven by adrenaline, only realizing as he spoke of the seriousness of his words, if it were proved true. "So if you want to avoid other catastrophes, he speaks, because I need to know." The tone and expression left no doubt that the threat was not to span the air.
"He said he would not have said anything," said Isa, speaking for the first time in weeks. The gesture seemed almost painful, so much that she moved her face from side to side, as if every word rend his throat. "When she did the night before?"
"No," said Cristina, finding a bit 'of calm, but without getting up. "He wrote everything in a notebook that he had hidden. I think ... had probably decided to tell the story of that Tuesday evening, to make me read and then to help me understand, but has not had time. "
"If you asked for it" said, contemptuously, Isa.
"But what are you saying?" Was shocked Cristina.
"She knew what that would go through. I had advised, but he would not listen. He should have let things go and how they should be here to laugh about it. "
"I hope you're joking," interrupted Christine, with a chuckle. "If there's one thing to reproach mom is that she was not immediately clear. He spent three days trying to convince me that being with Daniel was wrong, but I was never really explained why. If I had said before ... "
"I do not have believed" the anticipated Isa. "Make it difficult to believe even now, you come on purpose to get a confirmation."
"And you gave me the confirmation, but I did not really need, my mother would never have invented such a story. The real reason why I came here is I wanted to understand what made you decide not to tell her all these years. Do you realize what you did to her? "
"If it is done alone. She was stubborn, your mother, you know better than me. He wanted to stop a runaway train. "
"But if I had told the truth when it was time, maybe it would have been less angry and better reasoned. Instead of being mad believe you left for twenty years and suddenly have revealed that he was right and that you wanted to keep a secret. "
"You think he would have gone differently had he known the truth when she was a girl? It was worse then. He spent his life searching for solutions to this thing, but ... "
"And is not the right thing to do, rather than passively accept it?"
"... But he never would have prevented the events that followed their cycle. Do you think that could have prevented your dad to know and fall in love? He like any other man, I mean. And you think we could have avoided getting pregnant and having a female first? "
"You mean that he controls and decides all these things? "
"Sure."
"And how do you know? Who told you? "
"I know that's all. We all know, before you and your mother, who suddenly think they can make a revolution, as if you were the only ones that matter to you about. "
"And is not it? Those who came before us were probably too frightened or too superstitious to turn against him. "
"And they were right, you do not see what happened to your mom?"
"Maybe. But I repeat that if he knew beforehand what he must have known we could have fought together and seek a solution. "
"There is a solution, not you understand? The solution is death! "
"Exactly," agreed Christine, getting to his feet with a mischievous smile.
"What do you mean?" Said Isa allarmandosi, mouth wide open.
"Nothing," demurred Cristina, looking in another direction.
"Cristina, do not ..."
"What else is there?" Asked Cristina, leave without finishing the sentence. "What is the other rule?"
"What rules?"
"That missing. The mother suspected that there were other, which I had not told the whole truth. Me too I am sure, because I know ... I knew the mother and not at all sure that he preferred the risk of death to the idea that I should suffer what you suffered, too. "
"There is no rule was invented around her, what did he say?"
"He did not say anything, but I wish you would tell me something. In respect of memory and especially my mother. "
"I have nothing to say, 'Isa confirmed but could not look at Cristina's eyes as he spoke.
"Whatever" said Cristina. "Maybe he could help me ..." He walked towards the corridor, hoping that his tactics had no effect. But psychology dives could work with the kids, the harder we cascasse an old woman like her grandmother. That fact was silent and let her go.
As he left the room, determined to complete the project that had occurred just after reading the book of Simon and had reconfirmed after the brief conversation with his grandmother, Christine could not resist the urge to feel first hand the his mother's necklace around his neck. Feel its texture between her fingers had an invigorating effect, as if he were caressing and encouraging Simona.
Standing in the door, took out the necklace and turned it in his fingers, feeling the cool metal on your skin like a shower of icy droplets on a hot summer day. He closed his eyes and squeezed the jewel that had given his father, as a sign of the permanence of Simona though physically he was away. Not held back her tears, but it was only sadness: there was even a glimmer of joy because he could really feel the presence of his mother and the love with which he was accompanying to the solution to this terrible nightmare that was going on now centuries.
Seconds later, he opened his eyes and put the necklace under his shirt. With a dismissive gesture he wiped his eyes and it was then, and bent his head slightly to one side, the gaze fell on the two small shelves on the wall, right next to the door jambs. They were packed with tiny frames, which contained photographs of deceased loved ones in the foreground of Isa: there were her parents and her husband on a shelf, while the lowest one housed some uncles, paternal grandfather of Christina and Matthias and portrait of Simon who chose to remember it, the latter still without a frame, leaning against the wall.
In the photo, Simon's face was very funny, smiling, because that wa
s the image that best described the type of woman, wife, mother and friend she was. Tripped on a summer day in the garden, the first floor of herself as she looked up, the pupils in the upper part of the orbit, and he shrugged, as if to say: "If you're going, let me picture this" . Why not be particularly loved shooting.
Cristina found the strength to smile remembering that moment, that was very clear in my mind. He had to go back to the summer before, if he did not remember wrong, but only a few months before in a completely different world, like another life. A life where Cristina and Matthew could still count on a united family and where the future of Christina looking good and not threatened by dark forces and uncontrollable.
The expression of Simona in the picture gave the illusion that he was turning his eyes to the photographs on the shelf above. Cristina followed his gaze and at the hypothetical line that started from the eyes of his mother found his grandfather and father Aldo Isa, the great-grandfather who had never known. They had both died young, poor things: his grandfather had fifty years, if he did not remember well, was just a child then, and the great-grandfather had to be on the same ...
The idea flashed. He felt a shiver down my spine, as he watched take shape in his mind his intuition. He shifted attention back to the photo of Simon and this time it seemed that his smile was accentuated. He spun around and found Isa still stuck in the same position as before.
"How did they die?" He asked. "How are the dead grandfather and your dad?"
***
"It should be under CRI," said Roberto, while imboccava the road towards Parma.
Erika sitting in the passenger seat, was holding his cell phone, a Nokia 3310 that seemed to come unhinged from the prehistory of the phone directly. Pressing the cursor key and looked up the name in the phone book did start calling, wondering what the first generation phones were easier to use than current ones.
"Play?" Said Robert, impatiently.
Erika waited, but got nothing but three beeps repeated in sequence. "When the last time you reload the card?" He asked, removing the phone from his ear and controlling the display.