"It's the ambulance?" Asked the other room Mattia, while the sound of sirens approaching. Gisella did not hear the tone of concern and Matthias rejoiced. It seemed simple curiosity and not a very strong, as he had done so much for that question to air out the language. To confirm this, Gisella, getting up, saw him raise the volume of the television and get more comfortable in the chair. He decided not to answer him, pretending not to hear, and received no other questions.
There was an ambulance. The police, probably. The sirens did not come close more: they had stopped and a rough guess would be right near the house of Robert. Her hearing could be refined, if interested. Shortly after there was silence and Gisella began to pray, as he continued to fill the sink with dirty dishes. Sometimes it's a bit 'odd and even I struggle to understand his behavior, but it's a good girl. Protect her, Lord, please. Because Roberto loves her. Because he has two children and is still very, very young.
But new sirens came from the opposite direction. And this time it was the ambulance. That sound was impressed on the mind when, ten years before, her husband had a heart attack. He immediately called the emergency room and within minutes had heard them coming and yelled desperate that they should make more quickly, more quickly. But now he wanted to get rid of the sirens, not having to remove them until no longer hear the lament.
"Again?" Asked Mattia and this time he turned toward her. "What, grandma?"
Gisella turned slowly, trying to take a relaxed. "Hmph! There will be some elderly people who feel ill. In this heat you can not just stay quiet time. "He was satisfied with her and found that he felt no small sense of guilt that he had rather impressed his teacher Anna when she lied to Mattia.
The child seemed satisfied with the answer. He looked at her grandmother with worried expression, as if to want to ensure that she was not hurt by the heat, then returned to television. While the images flowed indulged in a big yawn and began to ponder the possibility of a nap.
Gisella mentally followed the path of the ambulance and saw him stop at the same point where the police already had to be. The siren went out, but do not let him go to another moment of hope. To tell the truth, he had never hoped so far, but only feared. Or heard. She continued to wash the dishes while the consciousness that just screamed for what would have been spared the last bad thoughts about Simon.
***
A few minutes later the two Matthias was sound asleep. Gisella had just finished with the dishes and was moving into the living room to turn off the TV when she heard the sirens of the fire brigade. At the sound, which did nothing to further confirm his fears, and what's more worse, turned a painful look at the child. Poor boy, said to him mentally. What ever you have reserved the fate?
It was amazing how his attitude towards all, especially Simon, had changed when she realized that something serious was at stake. He said that his was a moment of initial disappointment, perhaps due to a genuine concern for the daughter. But deep down he felt a part of her had always had a dislike for Simona and that only now, faced with the threat of a sense of guilt that would leave her for the rest of his life, began to retract.
He sighed, raising his eyebrows again. How are you going to look into his eyes Roberto? asked. How will you do when you see his pain and remember the bitterness of your word against his poor dead wife?
He put the phone with a momentum that threatened to drop it. He dialed the number and Roberto waited a long time but nobody was home. The despair came over her like a slap in the face violent and she wanted to scream. He covered his mouth with his hands clenched into fists to hold back and closed his eyes. Slowly, she tried to calm down: it was old, must not forget, and it was better not to put to test his tired heart.
He found the remote on the chair where he slept Mattia and turned off the television. The silence that descended on the room - we were even off the sirens of the fire - it was thick as the sense of guilt in the soul of Gisella. It seemed almost hard to move, as it were immersed in a gelatinous. However he made a first step and another and another, until in the kitchen. He took a chair and sat, elbows on the table.
And so it remained for nearly two hours. He did not hear sirens coming back to the hospital and that was not a good sign, but now was not very good in that day. Did not arrive or call Simona felt that he was fine and that he had a little mishap, nor Robert who said he had found it at work or in a clothes store.
About four o'clock the phone rang. Gisella, who until then had kept away any thought, he felt within himself up again and the despair that remotely sensed the presence of the last remaining hope, like a lighthouse now too distant to be clearly distinguished. He jumped up and regretted it when he saw that the room was spinning around. He closed his eyes, and when the illness passed, went to the phone in the living room. He saw that Matthias went to sleep, in a very uncomfortable position.
"Hello?" Replied his voice hoarse and mournful tone.
"Gisella? I'm Maria, "said the woman at the other end. He lived in an apartment across from the church and was one of the ladies with whom he was Gisella almost every afternoon for a chat or, better, to gossip, in front of a hot tea in winter and in summer a granita.
"Oh, hello" Gisella greeted her, while the lighthouse away completely disappeared on the horizon. "So?" "Well?" was the typical question of who had anything to say and wanted to avoid awkward silences.
"So?" Repeated Mary, and was almost stunned. "But I'm asking you! How are you? "Even in his voice was strong dialect.
And Gisella all knew immediately, even before his girlfriend him and confirmed that Robert could think of to put the current call. Simon was dead. He had done nothing but think about it but at that moment had arrived certainty was another person to give it to him and there was room for further doubts or hopes. "Normal" she lied. "Why?"
At the other end of the phone there was an imperceptible hesitation. Then Maria burst and seemed indignant that more distraught. " Bemma how? Do not you know yet? "The question there was a tinge of pride, as if to say Certainly you do not know and I'm here ready to tell you everything beautiful! "No, it is true, how do you know," he continued without waiting an answer. "Poor thing," he added.
Gisella's stomach twitched and his heart began to pound at a faster pace. He closed his eyes and tried to remain silent for fear of hearing his voice choked by tears that a first, small tear on the cheek, heralded the rough. It would be the worst thing, because those were tears of his sense of guilt more than pain.
"I had gone shopping" began Mary, as if recounting a scene from a movie. "My Gigi asked me to give him the pizza tonight, and I had the flour. However I came out of the supermarket around two, I believe, and I saw all these people that there was a little 'further. Not where is the house of your Robert, I ', but after the intersection. Oh, I told myself. Is' to see which one is off the road and went into the ditch. Because there were so many people standing in the grass where there is the ditch on the roadside. That is a bad way, my mother, with all those trucks. And there was a car of the policemen, I '!'
Gisella, who knew Mary, unable to follow his train of thought even though it was more than confused. But Mary had already embarked on the ramp for sclerosis and could not reverse the direction of travel.
"Then I said to myself: there ', to prepare the dough for the pizza I have time. Maybe I look at what has happened here. I did not do it well? Then they are gone across the street, and luckily have put the traffic light, which otherwise had to wait two hours before that there were more trucks! and meanwhile it is also the ambulance arrived. What bad stuff, those sirens there, which always comes when I feel goose bumps. In fact I said to myself: Oh God, here there was a big accident! I went closer and ... Oh, Gisella, I'm sorry. I saw your Roberto lying in the grass crying. "
Gisella felt another stab to the stomach. The remembered memories: his son, still a child, who was returning from the Oratory crying because "large" had been dropped. She had brought with him, had returned to the oratory and yelled to "large"
that if you even dare to approach Roberto would have thrown them all in the trash. And Robert had felt extremely embarrassed, would tell her, but the "big" does not really did anything.
Now Roberto cried so certainly more desperate then. Lying in the grass he thought - he gritted his teeth as if to block a cry of despair that threatened to strariparle from the throat - and she could not help him. He had not even been close. More tears ran down her cheeks marked by sixty springs.
"He was there and I wanted to go to him and ask him what was wrong, but there were two policemen and one kept saying to stay away and was also angry because he had to move the ambulance. So I'm stood there on the grass and felt even your Roberto crying and saying something, but I did not understand. After I saw a car in the ditch. I saw only the back part, but I think the front was all crushed. It was a black car and I do not know what brand it was, I mean I do, I '... but your Roberto said 'Simon, Simon', now understood, and then ... It was a really bad stuff, I '! A doctor took it and another has helped to bring him into the ambulance. Following are the firemen arrived and have had to work do not know how to cut the car doors and pull out your daughter. I do not have you seen anything, I ', because they have hidden everything to me and why do I feel that sort of thing there. But as the ambulance took an iron chest in the ditch and have it put in, as seen on television, and then are distributed immediately to the hospital. I have not even had time to say anything to you Roberto. And there was so many people. After the firefighters pulled up the car and stayed a while 'looking at her with the police. I was still a bit ', which was so soon and then I was sorry. And I came back half an hour ago and did not know whether to call you. Not to tell you no, there ', but because I thought I knew already and maybe you thought I was a curious one. Instead you did not know? "
"No," said Gisella, but his was more than one way. Now his face was wet with tears. He gripped the phone as if to crush.
"No, right. Maybe your Roberto is still in the hospital. But now you'll see that you can just call him. It's a good guy. I'm so sorry so much. "
"Thank you. Now ... I'm sorry, but ... "Say a word was difficult as giving birth to a son. Gisella And suddenly he found himself exhausted, not knowing that a few minutes before his son had the same reaction to the pain that had fallen upon him.
"Yes, yes, sorry for you. I can understand, I '! But if you need company I am always there! "
"All right ... Hello 'and hung up immediately. Maria he would not hold. Would understand and that otherwise would go to hell.
Gisella was standing a few moments, eyes closed and arms at his sides. How she wished her tears could wash away the dirt remorse that soiled conscience. He turned and looked at Mattia asleep blessed, still unaware of everything. She reached down and gently kissed her forehead.
Then came the image of Roberto, who cried and invoked the name of Simon sprawled in the grass and the thought made her sink.
***
Roberto was in front of the phone with hands full of coins and indecision about who to call first. Eventually he chose his mother, more than anything to postpone the tragic moment when he would have warned Isa, his mother-in-law. God only knew how he would react to the death of his daughter and, given its seventy-six, was not the case for a joke.
He inserted a coin into the phone and dialed a euro Gisella. It took only got three rings to answer, but in those few seconds Roberto found himself considering the idea that his mother already knew everything.
"Hello," said Gisella and the mournful tone of his voice gave confirmation to the thinking of Robert.
"Mom," she began, but the tears never granted him to continue. The sound of the voice of his mother had opened a deep crack in the dam, which until then had preserved him from crying. For the first time since the tragedy could talk to someone who knew someone who could really understand her pain. Above all, hear that voice, the family confirmed again that it was all terribly true.
"Roberto, darling!" Immediately tried to calm him but Gisella in turn was caught by tears. Her sobs came through the receiver to his ear Roberto, magnifying his despair even more.
A girl of about twenty-five years he walked quickly down the corridor of the hospital passed to Robert and seeing him in that condition, assumed an expression of deep pain that carved a furrow in the middle of the forehead. He made us just the case.
A few moments later managed to find a minimum of calm. "Mom" he continued, seeing that the end was easy never to tell. "Do not say ... say nothing to Matthias. I talk to him tonight, okay? "
"Yes, yes, darling. Yes, "said Gisella between sobs. "Now he's sleeping, poor thing. But how was it? "
Roberto saw on the screen of the phone that his remaining forty cents and decided it was best to close the call. "I'll explain later, Mom. Towards evening I come and I'll explain everything. Now I go, hello. "
"You're tr ..." he heard coming from the phone but hung up without waiting. The phone returned the rest. Roberto reinserted and added another euro, getting ready to call it more difficult.
***
Isa sat on his leather chair and stared absently at the television. Olga, the Ukrainian nanny that Simona had entrusted a couple of years, was dusting the furniture in the living room, taking advantage of the truce that was granted. It was not easy to follow a woman so old: preparing to eat, wash, help her to walk to prevent it from falling, bear her senile outbursts or her crazy ideas. And all for a modest salary at the bottom. However it was more than enough to help his family remained in Ukraine to starve.
"What time is it?" Said Isa biting words. Do not take his gaze from the TV, in its rigid posture, severe gaze.
Olga looked at his watch to the wall. "The four thirty, 'he replied, with his deep accent. It was difficult to learn Italian and even more difficult was having to figure out when the lady was speaking in dialect.
Isa did not answer, no thanks, he did a damn thing. As if the question had arisen independently of his will and not care about time.
But Olga was used repeatedly and quietly dusting: the task was almost a hobby, when compared with the other. "They are there four thirty, 'he repeated, with a melodious voice, knowing that it was as if talking to herself. "The all is well."
The phone rang. Isa did not react in any way, staring. Olga sighed and went to answer it. The only phone calls that came were the ones with the young lady and her son and only occasionally were the grandchildren. All nice people, to whom he was very fond. Mainly because the ability to work and kept it hidden even if no one was allowed to stay.
"Hello," replied the same voice as melodious as before. And only then Isa seemed to notice what was happening around her. He turned his head toward the phone and began to listen.
"Roberto? Is that you? You all right? "Said Olga, who was suddenly worried. "Hello?"
Isa frowned at his words. He moved his lips as if to speak, but nothing came out of his mouth. Only a single tear slid down his cheek from the corner of the right eye and wrinkled white. Isa narrowed his eyes as if to stop her but it was too late. It was too late for everything, apparently.
"How?" Olga continued. "O holy God, I'm sorry. I now say to Madame. "
Isa went back to look ahead. He looked down and moved his lips again. "I told you," she whispered. And those were among the last words he spoke for the rest of his days.
"Yes, calmly. No, I know that she is fragile. How? Ah, yes, it is good. She is quiet, Robert. I'm sorry. Hello. "Olga And so he hung up. He felt weak, hurt and scared. He would never have expected such a tragedy and did not know if it would have been able to break the news to the lady without causing trauma, as he had promised to Roberto. And in the depths of his unconscious part of her, more cynical, wondering if now would lose their jobs.
"Madam?" He called, approaching the chair. "Did Roberto tilefonato" he began.
But Isa had already figured out.
***
Roberto hung up for the second time. He was able to cry less, this time, but not enough. He won
dered if he had scared Olga and especially if he had done well to warn her by phone instead of going to talk to his mother-in-law. Perhaps it would run less risk. But it was done.
His thoughts were dispelled by the arrival of the marshal to his shoulders. "He has done, Mr. Santoni? I would not put too much haste, but I must return to barracks. If you do not mind ... "
"No, no, I'll be right, I promise. The last phone call, I ... I tell my daughter. "
"Okay, but please hurry. The memories that are waiting for the acknowledgment of his wife. "
"Yeah," said Robert, remembering only now. Once torture awaited him, as if he had not already suffered enough. He wondered whether he would be able to watch even the corpse of Simona without getting hopelessly sealed. "Then I suffered."
He pulled out his wallet and looked through the papers the package with the Cristina's cell phone number. Poor thing thought. I pity them all. They were living a normal day, waiting for the evening to meet and tell about their adventures at dinner, unaware of what life could be cruel, than at any moment could decide to walk away and throw all into the abyss.
He found the number and dialed. The figure of Marshal Mortini behind it was cumbersome, annoying, disrespectful. "Cristina?" He asked, when his daughter said. The effort to maintain a normal voice was indescribable: he wondered what he could to resist.
"No, no, no. I just wanted to let you know that tonight we eat from her grandmother, so if you is not a problem you can stop right there when you come back from the university. Is it okay? "He listened for a moment. "No problem, I'll take the clothes from her grandmother and you can wash yourself there. Yes? No, no problem, I just wanted to warn you so that you get home and can not find anyone. Ok? Hello, see you later. "