CHAPTER FIVE
Ben and Steve had already taken up their usual places inside the Café Rouge in Hampstead when they noticed Jay dash towards them, crossing the busy road in heavy rain.
“Sorry I’m late” Jay seemed both elated and out of breath as he closed the door behind himself.
“What have you been up to?.. You look so happy.. Did you get your end away?” asked Ben rather too loudly.
Jay stood proudly in front of them, dripping wet, and threw his folded umbrella down decisively on the table.
“Gentleman!.. I have found her!”
Jay could hardly gasp air in quickly enough as he frantically unbuttoned his raincoat and threw it onto the coat-stand behind him. Steve and Ben were trying to read Jay’s face but could not help smiling at each other in a ‘knowing’ sort of way. Jay tried to convince them that this was the ‘real McCoy’ - not just another ill-fated fantasy voyage.
“Do tell Jay” Steve beckoned Jay to sit down whilst Ben poured him a cup of English breakfast tea.
“Cheers Ben.. Well, I found her name in the database yesterday.. after we got back from the rugby.. Her name is Zoolayka.. I think that’s how you pronounce it.. Anyway..she lives in Kilburn.. and she is even more gorgeous than I remember her!”
“How do you know that? You haven’t met up with her have you?” asked Steve in disbelief.
“No.. but I’ve just got back from Kilburn!” Jay took a couple of seconds to compose himself, sipping some hot tea.
“Did you talk to her?” Steve’s eyes widened.
“No.. I couldn’t muster up the courage.. I’ll have to conjure up a plan for ‘bumping into her’” Jay winked with a smile “But it is her.. that’s what matters!”
Ben looked uncharacteristically serious. He leant over the table with one elbow placed in front of him and looked Jay straight in the eye.
“ Jay.. Have you been stalking innocent women again?”
“No Ben.. God.. no! ..And I thought you were going to say something sensible for once! No.. I just went to where she lives and waited a while in my car” Jay lowered his voice and spoke behind a raised hand “Don’t worry.. she didn’t see me”
Jay recited the rest of the story as they ate their Sunday steak baguettes washed down with trendy beers. There were five girls sitting at the table next to them, all dressed in party gear and all speaking with very loud and very refined ‘Chelsea’ accents. This was indeed why Ben had insisted on them going there every Sunday for the past many months. It wasn’t because Hampstead was a bustling hotchpotch of bohemian activity mixed with a good portion of capitalistic cynicism. No, the café was also a well-known watering hole for two types of people; those who lived in the area and had lots of money, and those who came looking for people who lived in the area and had lots of money. Ben’s hope was that some girl would mistake him for one of the latter. The café was almost totally filled with people, most of them women but with the occasional appearance of a well-dressed man or two. The men fell into three main groups; the Cartier-bearing Middle-Eastern types who generally had lots of money but were also known for being ‘players’, the somewhat scruffily dressed middle-aged locals who were invariably artists or ex TV presenters who just went there because they were too lazy to make their own dinner and the likes of Ben who had absolutely no chance of catching any women there at all, but who never gave up trying.
“Oops!” whispered Ben wryly as he tossed his napkin to the floor, strategically landing at the feet of one of the girls. Ben bent down from his chair and picked it up whilst having a good look up the girl’s skirt at the same time.
“Pig! You disgusting pig!” The girl reacted immediately and loudly, crossing her legs away from Ben in protest.
“Better go” mumbled a reddening Ben to the other two. They all gathered their things and made a hasty exit.
“Anyway.. I don’t know why she called me disgusting.. I could’ve been a lot more disgusting than that” added Ben once outside.
“Of that we are in no doubt” replied Jay.
“I could’ve told her about the time when I walked in on my aunty jerking her dog off for example”
“You didn’t?” Jay and Steve challenged in unison.
“No..I didn’t.. but I could have.. I’m just saying”
“Oh Ben..” Jay gave out a hopeless sigh.
“Lads?” Ben continued “I hear they’re having a ladies night down at the Foundation tonight.. Fancy going there instead?” Steve and Jay agreed, not because they particularly wanted to go to the Foundation, or indeed anywhere else, on a Sunday evening, but because they wanted to get away from the restaurant and out of the rain.
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The Foundation was situated strategically in what Ben referred to as the ‘pulling area’ of London, hidden away down a narrow back street in Covent Garden. The bar was already full by the time they arrived, partly due to its reputation as a good meeting place for singles and partly due to the fact that cocktails were half price for women. The three of them sat down on precariously high bar stools beside a high table and proceeded to admire the lightly clad ladies at the bar. They argued about whose round it was, and who was the most competent at ordering cocktails. Ben was immediately ruled out because of the danger of him causing yet another scene. Steve and Jay flipped a coin. Steve lost and dragged himself unwillingly towards the very crowded bar.
Ten minutes later, Steve returned with a tray filled up with colourful cocktails, mini umbrellas and straws. There were five glasses together with a sandwich and a wealth of peanuts.
“What’s with the sannie Steve.. and why have you bought five cocktails? Are you thirsty?” asked Jay
“Yes I am.. but I just met an old work colleague at the bar.. He’s coming over with his friend Lucy.. Hope that’s alright?” The other two nodded. Steve dragged two more bar stools over to the table “Oh.. and before I forget.. Richard is gay” Steve added in a low voice, then quickly turned towards the bar to signal the couple to come over.
“Err..” Ben didn’t manage to get more out of his mouth before the two strangers stood by the table.
“Hi! Pleased to meet you! I’m Richard.. Dick for short.. but It’s actually quite long”
Richard shook Ben’s hand vigorously whilst dishing out an overly camp wink to underline his witty quip.
“..and this..“
Richard held up the girl’s hand as if she were a ballet dancer.
”..is the very luscious Lucy.. a friend of mine from way back before time was even invented..”
An exchange of hands was followed by a clash of bar stools as everyone tried to find space.
Richard was a dapper man in his late twenties, with fine features, blue eyes, blonde hair and a light grey suit supplemented with surprisingly conservative brown brogues. Lucy was quite short and plump with dishevelled mousy-coloured hair gathered up in a bunch on either side of her head. Her face reminded Jay of a blow-up doll he’d once seen at a party.
“So.. what do you guys do? Nothing as boring as Stevie I hope” Richard picked up the sandwich from the tray as he spoke “Oh.. and thanks for the fish finger sannie Stevie.. even though they are terribly unhealthy.. But it’s always good with a finger in the right place isn’t it Luce?” Richard laughed loudly whilst Lucy blushed through an embarrassed smile “..and as they say.. if you don’t have any sins then you’ve no chance of redemption!” Richard bit into his sandwich and licked the sauce off his fingers demonstratively “Oh goodness.. my fingers smell of fish!” Richard smiled at Jay as he licked sauce suggestively from the side of his mouth.
Richard spoke so quickly, it was difficult for anyone to keep up. Jay wondered if his voice was naturally that gay or whether it was affected – an acquired ‘accoutrement’ to fit the role.
“We all work in IT I’m afraid..” Jay wasn’t given the opportunity to finish his sentence before Richard took over again.
“Oh.. don’t be afraid Jay! ..You know.. you should never be afraid of
anything! That’s what I always used to tell Stevie when we worked together.. I kept telling him.. he should be more adventurous and daring.. I could’ve shown him a whole new world you know..” Richard’s hand was now resting on Steve’s left knee causing Steve to jolt upright as he stared at Ben and Jay as if pleading for their protection. But Ben was already in deep conversation with Lucy over on the other side of the table, complementing her on her low cut top and how nice the tops of her breasts looked. Jay was seated between Ben and Steve, a location he was grateful for given the events that were unfolding before his eyes. Richard’s hand was sliding slowly but surely up Steve’s thigh leaving Steve with no alternative but to interrupt the process by pushing Richard off and telling him to behave himself in a positive yet friendly manner. At the other side of the table, Ben caressed Lucy’s hand on the table, staring deeply into the poor girl’s eyes like a snake hypnotizing its prey. Jay sipped more African Sunrise from his glass. He’d never tried it before, but he was surprised by how nice it was. Jay checked his mobile to see what the time was. He had, after all, work in the morning.
“Sneaky!” Richard pointed to Jay’s phone “Not reading your text messages are you? Especially given the exquisite company you are in.. Shame on you Jay!”
“No.. I was ju..”
Richard interrupted again “But I’m sure you’ve got lots of admirers sending you messages all the time haven’t you Jay-baby?” Richard seemed a little inebriated, or at least that was what Jay hoped. Nobody could possibly behave like that normally. The banter around the table went on as the group drank several more cheap cocktails. Jay noticed that Ben was trying to touch Lucy’s thigh. Lucy kept his wandering hand in check by moving it away as and when it strayed too far. Ben placed his hand on top of hers and dragged it down to his inner thigh where it was all too apparent that Ben’s spirits had also ‘risen to the occasion’. Lucy tried to pull her hand back but Ben held on, rubbing her hand up and down the outside of his trousers. Lucy decided she needed to go to the bathroom.
Ben followed shortly after, staggering his way across to the toilets and navigating between all the people, chairs and tables. He went in to the ladies toilet which looked devoid of people apart from himself. He could see that there were three cubicles, one of which revealed a set of feet under the door. Ben knocked forcibly.
“Lewshy?” his legs were teetering unsafely due to alcohol.
“God! What are you doing in here? Get out Ben!”
Ben could hear the toilet roll being creaked round as it expended its goods.
“Let me in Luce” Ben’s face rested up against the door, stopping him from falling over as he dribbled down the surface. He fumbled in his pocket and took out his keys, dropping them on the floor.
“What are you doing?” shouted Lucy as quietly as she could.
“It’s ok.. just hang on” After several attempts, Ben managed to place the edge of one of his keys in the slot on the outside of the lock and turned it. An amazed Lucy was still sitting on the toilet as Ben pushed the door open.
“Hi Luce! ..Its shmee!” Ben stooped down to kiss her as Lucy’s head swerved away to avoid him. She hurried to close the door behind him. Ben stood upright again and pulled down his flies. He tried to pull Lucy’s head towards him.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Lucy pushed him away “God! I don’t do that.. especially with someone I’ve just met!”
“Oh come on Luce.. You know you want to.. and I won’t tell anyone” Ben stroked the back of Lucy’s hair as he tried to pull her towards him again.
Lucy scowled at him as she pushed him away and stood up.
“Don’t be angry wiff me Luce..” slurred Ben visibly frustrated. Lucy lifted up her finger to her mouth, telling Ben to keep quiet. She lowered the toilet seat cover, lifted her skirt and turned round. Ben fumbled with her panties and pulled them down her legs as Lucy held on to the toilet cistern with both hands. Ben stroked the inside of hers thighs before sliding his hand under her bra. He grasped her firm breast, rubbing gently around her nipple with a loose finger.
Two women walked into the toilet area outside and loudly discussed the price of handbags in Knightsbridge. They were obviously oblivious to the activities inside the cubicle. Ben and Lucy continued, though a little more subdued. Ben put his finger in Lucy’s mouth. She let out a whimper as Ben entered her. The girls outside stopped their conversation briefly. Lucy steadied herself against the cistern, trying not to make too much noise as Ben continued his work and belched rather too loudly. The girls outside sniggered, whispering to each other as they made their way discretely out of the toilet. Ben and Lucy’s bodies tensed as they both let out a sudden but powerful cry of ecstatic relief.
Ben wiped himself clean with some toilet paper and handed some to Lucy. Lucy snatched the toilet paper out of his hand and snapped “Bastard!” as she pulled her knickers back in place.
“What’s that for Luce?”
“Shut the fuck up dick head! Just get out and leave me be..”.
Lucy swung the cubicle door open unceremoniously and shoved Ben into the main room.
“Well.. I’d .. err.. I’ll.. go then.. um..” Ben walked out confused and a little hurt. He walked back in the direction of the bar.
“That must’ve been a huge dump you had there mate?!” Steve laughed as he rubbed his alcohol-reddened eyes.
“I think we’d better go” Ben looked sheepishly at Steve and Jay. Lucy returned to the table shortly afterwards looking like a storm had hit her. Jay and Steve exchanged glances, wondering what had happened.
“I think you are right” agreed Jay, feeling ready for bed himself.
“I can drive you all home if you like?” Richard dangled his car keys at the ready as he quietly spoke to Lucy “Lucy love.. it’s ok.. we’re going now”
“Good!” was the only word that came out of Lucy’s mouth. Her silence persisted even when they were all sitting in Richard’s car. Steve sat in the front and Jay, Ben and Lucy on the back seat. Ben sat uncomfortably in the middle, sitting between Jay and Lucy. The silence was deafening as they drove off. Ben felt guilty, even though he wasn’t quite sure why. He reached out a hand to Lucy, but instead of Lucy pushing it away as he had anticipated, she grasped it firmly and fed it up to her mouth, setting her teeth into the side of his hand with a very powerful bite.
“Owww! ..What the fuck was that for?!” Ben rubbed his hand in disbelief. The car swerved slightly as Ben’s scream caught Richard by surprise.
Lucy mumbled “You know damned fine you bastard.. You know!”.
Jay, Steve and Richard looked at each other confused but decided not to intervene. It was probably best that they remained silent, leaving the rain to tap its incessant beat on the car roof as they swished their way home.
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