I shake my head sadly. I would have acted differently that night before recruitment if I’d had any kind of assurance that I wouldn’t be recruited.
To embrace him more tightly doesn’t seem to be possible, but I press my chest against the strong muscles of his stomach with all my strength.
Suddenly, I become extremely aware of how close our bodies are. The perfect lines of his chest, the heat that emanates from his body, and his masculine scent overcome my senses and a warm, pleasant sensation spreads through me. We’re so tightly pressed that I notice how my closeness physically affects him. But just when the atmosphere is charging with static and sexual promises, a tortured look crosses his face.
“I saw part of the video. You said that you aren’t a V-girl anymore.”
I look down and remain quiet for a long time.
Aleksey grabs my chin and tips my head back, forcing me to see him. The intensity of his eyes and the delicious feeling of his fingers on my skin don’t let me think straight. “There’s war ...” I swallow hard. “and recruitment … All is fair in war. I had to do what I could to feel safe and I won’t let anyone judge me because—”
He looks away, scowling. “I don’t judge you.”
Whenever Aleksey is around, contradictory thoughts overcome me. I don’t want him to judge me, but I don’t want him to be indifferent, either. I can’t hide the hurt in my voice. “You don’t care whether I slept with him or—”
“I don’t care?!” Bam! My back slams on a tree trunk. He lifts my wrists above my head and leans in.
His breath is caressing my ears, making my body shudder. “Don’t you ever say that again! I’m burning with a feeling that I haven’t ever felt before. It’s killing me.” He presses his pelvis against mine. It feels as though he’s trying to claim me, physically. “I hate that he was your first. I can’t think about you two without feeling violent. I hate the circumstances that kept me from being with you that night. I hate him.”
His lips find the pulse point at my neck. He sucks and nibbles at it gently making a tingling sensation spread all over my body. “If you hadn’t told me that hurting him is hurting you, I’d kill him. The jealousy is so bad at this moment that I can’t breathe.” His lips slide to my jaw, then down to the hollow of my throat. “The only thing that keeps me from snapping is that I know that when you’re with me, you’ll feel the difference.”
“What difference?” I say breathily.
His low, raspy voice in my ear tickles me. “I’m better in bed. I’m going to make him disappear from your mind.”
I stare at him in shock.
“Besides,” His lips tease mine slightly before retreating. “Unlike Diaz, for me there has only been, and will always be, only one woman: You.”
I inhale a sharp intake of breath. One more time he’s telling me that he loves me in his own way.
“As for you,” Aleksey nibbles my lower lip. “It’s a matter of time, Lila. One day, you will love only me.”
His hot mouth collides against mine in a consuming, passionate kiss. Fire runs through my blood and searing desire surges through me.
While his right hand undoes the buttons of my dress down to my stomach, his left hand keeps a strong hold on my wrists. “He may have been your first,” he says, trailing feather-like kisses from my shoulder to my collarbone and down to the edge of my bra. “But I’ll be your last.”
He carries me to the flowerbed. Gently laying me down on the soft cushion of the flowers, he covers my body with his. He tilts my head so I’m looking at his eyes.
“I’ll make love to you until you forget his name and even yours,” he says huskily. “The only name you’ll be able to scream will be mine.”
He buries his face in the crook of my neck nibbling softly. The way his weight presses against me without crushing me stirs pangs of desire. Aleksey speaks against the side of my neck. “It’s not only about making you mine. I want to be yours.” His heated words caress my skin. “I’m yours already.”
Butterflies flutter in my stomach. He’s mine?
I hear a giggle and turn my head. Divine and Joey walk toward us. “Wow. That was hot! Now I know what you two get from watching us,” says Divine.
Flustered, I sit up and button up my dress.
Joey eyes us knowingly. “We’ve come for a second try. Never meant to interrupt you.”
Aleksey isn’t embarrassed at all. Ignoring the newcomers, he gets up gracefully and helps me to get on my feet. His face looks cool and possessed as he puts his red cape on.
Leaning closely, he whispers in my ear. “Let’s go to a quieter place.”
The life of a man, no matter how humble, no matter how powerful can be condensed to a single moment. The moment he has found the woman he will want for life.
General Fürst’s journal
Chapter 56
“Take off your boots,” he orders as he steps out of his. He grabs my hand and leads me through the vast, spacious room. Most of the far wall and huge portions of the ceiling are made of a sturdy kind of glass. My eyes open wide as I try to take in all the beauty of the rocky beaches, tall cliffs and the purple sky that hovers over a turquoise ocean. I’ve never seen the sea before, except in books, but Aleksey is a man of his word. He told me once that he would show me the sea and here we are in a cottage for the staff that works at a UNNO refueling point.
A shiver runs down my spine when his hand touches the small of my back. Aleksey leads me to a French door that opens to a narrow balcony. It’s precariously perched several feet over violent waves that break on the rocks below us. I inhale deeply taking in the crisp, salty scent of the ocean.
Solid, muscular arms pull me into a tight embrace. “You’re my prisoner here and this time I won’t let you leave until we’ve made love to the point of exhaustion.” He looks at me mischievously. “You have nowhere to escape, unless you want to fall straight into the sea.”
I bite my thumb nervously. Falling is exactly how I feel. As we watch the sun drowning in the horizon, my stomach drops as though I’m about to plunge speedily into the ocean below me. The moment of our long-awaited sexual encounter is finally here.
He yanks me up in his arms and carries me back to the room. In the corner there’s a plush Oriental rug in front of a fireplace. In another corner there’s a red divan covered in gold and black cushions.
When I first entered the cottage, the breath-taking sight of the ocean distracted my attention, but now I’m very aware of the canopied, soldier-size bed that stands proudly in the center of the room. Its exquisitely ornate curtains give the impression of luxury.
Aleksey softly sets me on my feet next to the fireplace. With lithe, yet rough movements he takes off his armor and crosses the room to hang it in a small wardrobe. God! He looks breathtakingly beautiful wearing only black trousers. They hang loosely at his V line. When he crouches to expertly start the fire, I can’t take my eyes off of the strong muscles of his back. The sight of his naked torso sends needy pinpricks of desire across my spine.
As I glance sideways at the bed, a mix of apprehension and excitement constricts my stomach. The unspoken promise of what we will do there hangs in the air, making my legs tremble.
I’m totally wide-eyed, tense, and rooted to the spot when he catches me staring at him. Looking at me intently, he approaches me with slow, sleek steps. When he notices my mood, he kisses me tenderly. “Why are you nervous?”
Because we’re about to explore uncharted territory and a part of me fears the unknown. Besides, I’m worried about my sexual performance. I’m sure I’ll be clumsy in that bed. And because I want to know how long he’ll stay, but I’m afraid to ask. To top it all, I know I have to tell him that I love him before he leaves me again, but I don’t dare. I settle for the easiest answer. “Because there are things that I’ve been keeping from you.”
It seems he was expecting this answer. He shoots me my favorite coy smile. “Like the fact you are still a V-girl?”
My chin d
rops to the floor and the shock paralyzes me. I open and close my mouth several times, abruptly deprived of my voice.
How…? Is he a psychic?
The night before recruitment, I had second thoughts at the last minute, just when his heated penis was frantically searching for the opening in the bridal sheet. But it was too late for him to regain control. He came on the sheet and became embarrassed about that. My body that had been tense and shivering became extremely relaxed when I realized he wouldn’t try again. We never were intimate. The bridal sheet and our clothes were always a barrier between us. His erection never touched a single square inch of my skin. Not even once.
Aleksey waits patiently for me to speak, but I explode in a fit of hysterical laugher. I can’t embarrass Rey by explaining his misfortune to his rival. The hysterics turn into a nervous giggle. That night’s events will always be a secret between me and my best friend.
All traces of humor disappear and I look away, blushing. “Yes. I’m … still a … v—virgin.”
A deep breath escapes from him and he gently cups my face in his enormous hand. It’s as though he had been holding his breath for my answer.
“How did you know?”
“I didn’t. It was a hunch. You have just confirmed it.”
“But you—”
“The soldiers are medieval. It’s impossible to know whether a girl is a virgin or not by touching her arms.” Piercing me with his blue eyes, his huge hands land delicately on my hip and the contact is so intimate that I have to remember how to breathe. His low, deep voice sounds confident. “But, I have this theory that when a young girl is initiated in the joys of sex, she acquires a newfound confidence in every step she takes. The rhythm of her hips when she walks is different. And I’ve noticed that the shape of them changes, too.”
A pang of brattish, unreasonable jealousy stirs in me. He says he’s never been with a V-girl, but he’s a sexually experienced man who knows women’s bodies well. It kills me that he knows so much about sexuality and that he didn’t learn with me. Jealousy is the reason for my stupid attempt at lying. He’s older and has enjoyed sex with plenty of experienced women. I meant to pretend that I’d had some first-hand experience until I gained enough confidence in my sexual abilities. Or until I was sure that he would still love me in spite of everything. Only then would I have confessed.
“When we were climbing down the cliff stairs to get here, I paid attention to your hips.” He digs his fingers in the round flesh of them and pulls me close, making our pelvises touch. “The shape of them. The way you move them. I didn’t see any difference in how you always walk.”
His voice turns into a raspy, sensual whisper that tickles my earlobe. “But after our bodies finally become one, you’ll walk differently.” He inhales against my neck and the base of my throat. “Because the power of my passion will have made an impression on your whole body.”
We’re dangerously close. A heated, sexual energy sizzles between us. The way his erection is pressing against my body tells me that he’s feeling it, too.
My body tenses when he slowly unbuttons my dress. “You’ll feel different, too,” he says in a low, sensual purr. “You’ll be more assured of yourself once you learn to enjoy sexual pleasure. With me.”
The dress falls to the floor and pools around my feet. He turns my body and pulls my hair aside to leave the nape of my neck uncovered. Hot desire washes through my body when he blows on it softly before covering the area with soft kisses.
“I want to strip your heart … your soul … your mind. And—” he sucks my neck gently. “… your body.”
He scoops me up and lays me gently on the plush rug. The contact of the soft material with my skin feels pleasant but nothing compared to the sight of him standing above me, eyes raking up and down my body. At first I squirm shyly under his penetrating gaze. He’s seen my body before, but now that I know I love him, I feel self-conscious and well-aware of my body’s imperfections. But his eyes scream at me, You’re beautiful. I want you. That not only relaxes me, but makes my body writhe in anticipation.
Aleksey unhurriedly puts his knee on the rug and lithely crawls over my body until he’s hovering over me. “You can always stop me by saying no,” he murmurs while nibbling my earlobe.
His hands slide under me; forcing my back to arch as he moves to take off my bra. He then uses his weight to pin me to the rug. The sensation of bare skin against bare skin feels incredible. I start to grind my body against his, enjoying the friction.
Aleksey’s mouth eagerly finds mine in an all-consuming kiss.
Hot, eager lips slide from my jaw to my collarbone and down between my breasts, sucking my tender skin in their path. Hovering over my breasts he stops to look up at me. I writhe in impatient anticipation. What is he going to do?
Aleksey skims his nose and mouth around my breasts, his heated breath caressing my sensitive skin. Aleksey blows softly on one nipple before putting it inside his warm mouth. At first he sucks gently making me tingle all over. When his mouth pressures my nipple with long, profound, almost savage, sucking movements, the feeling is almost unbearable. I whimper, squirming in pleasure under him.
His mouth tortures its way south until it reaches my ankles. Then slides its way up my leg slowly. Until he’s nibbling my inner thigh.
His muscular arm goes behind my back to lift my hips in the air. He keeps my body arched as his lips repeat the sensual trajectory up and down the other leg. Aleksey lifts my leg and puts it on his shoulder to accommodate his head better. I love that he’s so strong and the way he’s using his strength to move my body. Alternating nibbles and laps of his warm tongue on both of my inner thighs, he is slowly getting close to the apex of my thighs.
“Hmm.” He kisses the side of my hips. “What do we have here? Did you wrap yourself like a gift for me, Lila? ” he says, tearing teasingly at the tie of my underwear. “I love your … garments.”
I pant. “I made them myself and—” He softly inserts two of his fingers in my mouth and after the initial surprise, I suck them eagerly.
His now moist, deft fingers caress my folds, and the satisfied noise coming from the back of his throat tells me he’s pleased. “Good job.”
His voice is so full of pride that I know he’s talking about the fact that I’m so ready. Aleksey knows he did this to me. In a slow movement, he unties one side of my underwear and kisses the exposed skin of my hip. He takes his time to untie the other side with his teeth, nibbling my skin along the way.
I’m naked now and I’ve never felt more vulnerable.
The next thing I know, he is naked, too, and he is sucking my nipple. Waves of heated pleasure flash across my skin. His lips trail a path down my chest to my stomach, to my mound of Venus where he rubs his stubble against the area before sucking the skin gently.
He pulls his hands down to part my folds, leaving my most sensitive area ready and well exposed to his tongue. A sudden flush of embarrassment makes me raise my arm to shield my eyes as he takes a good look at my most intimate parts.
Aleksey grasps my arm, pulling it back. "Don’t be embarrassed,” he murmurs as his tongue laps at my lower lips. “Looking at you—this is surreal. So beautiful."
Sitting on his heels, he effortlessly wraps my legs around his shoulders. I’m hanging upside down from his body like an acrobat. My shoulders and head are resting on the rug and my arms are over my head. With one arm he keeps my balance on his body, with the other he is caressing and opening my lips to give easier access to his warm moist tongue.
He hums into my folds, making pleasure run through my body. His erection sears my skin, making me aware that he’s getting pleasure from driving me crazy with his mouth.
Aleksey kisses the area softly; he flips his tongue and sucks my sensitive lips gently. Relentlessly.
And his tongue finds my most sensitive spot.
“Ah! A-Aleksey.”
Deliberately he blows. I’m writhing with pleasure as my legs stiffen. He alter
nates his flapping, flaming tongue with hungry lips that devour and press my now engorged nub.
I cry out. The pleasure is more than I can take. My muscles tense, my toes curl. I don’t want him to stop, but this is becoming too much. I feel the sensation building up. I squirm, trying to release my body of the tension. My insides start to quiver.
Finally he increases the pressure of his suction on my clit. Pleasure—scorching, sheer, exquisite pleasure—sweeps over me and I explode. I try to muffle the vocal expressions of my pleasure by biting my hand but he takes my wrist.
“Let me hear you,” he says as he kisses each of my finger pads gently.
Still sitting on his heels, he scoops me in his massive arms and cradles me. He kisses me sweetly as I slowly start to descend from heaven.
“You’re so relaxed. So deliciously lubricated.” He hums satisfyingly. “It’ll be less painful now that you’re so ready for me.” He places feather-like kisses on my shoulders. “Do you want me to continue?”
I press my forehead to his muscular chest and nod.
Chapter 57
Aleksey carries me across the room. He gently lays me on the bed, my butt on the edge of it, and kneels on the floor in front of me.
I look at his erection nervously. Like the rest of his body, it is large, hard, and beautiful.
He leans to kiss me and I forget that I’m nervous. In a swift move, he puts his hands on my knees, bending them, spreading them apart gently.
“Look at me.”
I obey. The look on his face is hungry, almost predatory, as he settles between my legs. My breath comes in loud pants.
I gasp when I feel my Aleksey—my stoic, older General—slowly rubbing against my folds. Coating the tip of his erection in my wetness. I squirm under his torture.
Still keeping my knees spread apart, he bends his body to kiss my mouth. “Even with your extraordinary, wet response, this will hurt. Tell me when it becomes too much.”
I feel him at my entrance for what feels like an eternity, enjoying the feeling of his erection rubbing my most sensitive spots.