'If you want to be an actor I suppose I can't stop you,' he said, 'but damn it all, I insist on your being educated like a gentleman.'
It gave Julia a good deal of satisfaction to discover that Michael's father was a colonel, it impressed her to hear him speak of an ancestor who had gambled away his fortune at White's during the Regency, and she liked the signet ring Michael wore with the boar's head on it and the motto: Nemo me impune lacessit.
'I believe you're prouder of your family than of looking like a Greek god,' she told him fondly.
'Anyone can be good-looking,' he answered, with his sweet smile, 'but not everyone can belong to a decent family. To tell you the truth I'm glad my governor's a gentleman.'
Julia took her courage in both hands.
'My father's a vet.'
For an instant Michael's face stiffened, but he recovered himself immediately and laughed.
'Of course it doesn't really matter what one's father is. I've often heard my father talk of the vet in his regiment. He counted as an officer of course. Dad always said he was one of the best.'
And she was glad he'd been to Cambridge. He had rowed for his College and at one time there was some talk of putting him in the university boat.
'I should have liked to get my blue. It would have been useful to me on the stage. I'd have got a lot of advertisement out of it.'
Julia could not tell if he knew that she was in love with him. He never made love to her. He liked her society and when they found themselves with other people scarcely left her side. Sometimes they were asked to parties on Sunday, dinner at midday or a cold, sumptuous supper, and he seemed to think it natural that they should go together and come away together. He kissed her when he left her at her door, but he kissed her as he might have kissed the middle-aged woman with whom he had played Candida. He was friendly, good-humoured and kind, but it was distressingly clear that she was no more to him than a comrade. Yet she knew that he was not in love with anybody else. The love-letters that women wrote to him he read out to Julia with a chuckle, and when they sent him flowers he immediately gave them to her.
'What blasted fools they are,' he said. 'What the devil do they think they're going to get out of it?'
'I shouldn't have thought it very hard to guess that,' said Julia dryly.
Although she knew he took these attentions so lightly she could not help feeling angry and jealous.
'I should be a damned fool if I got myself mixed up with some woman in Middlepool. After all, they're mostly flappers. Before I knew where I was I'd have some irate father coming along and saying, now you must marry the girl.'
She tried to find out whether he had had any adventures while he was playing with Benson's company. She gathered that one or two of the girls had been rather inclined to make nuisances of themselves, but he thought it was a terrible mistake to get mixed up with any of the actresses a chap was playing with. It was bound to lead to trouble.
'And you know how people gossip in a company. Everyone would know everything in twenty-four hours. And when you start a thing like that you don't know what you're letting yourself in for. I wasn't risking anything.'
When he wanted a bit of fun he waited till they were within a reasonable distance of London and then he would race up to town and pick up a girl at the Globe Restaurant. Of course it was expensive, and when you came to think of it, it wasn't really worth the money; besides, he played a lot of cricket in Benson's company, and golf when he got the chance, and that sort of thing was rotten for the eye.
Julia told a thumping lie.
'Jimmie always says I'd be a much better actress if I had an affair.'
'Don't you believe it. He's just a dirty old man. With him, I suppose. I mean, you might just as well say that I'd give a better performance of Marchbanks if I wrote poetry.'
They talked so much together that it was inevitable for her at last to learn his views on marriage.
'I think an actor's a perfect fool to marry young. There are so many cases in which it absolutely ruins a chap's career. Especially if he marries an actress. He becomes a star and then she's a millstone round his neck. She insists on playing with him, and if he's in management he has to give her leading parts, and if he engages someone else there are most frightful scenes. And of course, for an actress it's insane. There's always the chance of her having a baby and she may have to refuse a damned good part. She's out of the public eye for months, and you know what the public is, unless they see you all the time they forget that you ever existed.'
Marriage? What did she care about marriage? Her heart melted within her when she looked into his deep, friendly eyes, and she shivered with delightful anguish when she considered his shining, russet hair. There was nothing that he could have asked her that she would not gladly have given him. The thought never entered his lovely head.
'Of course he likes me,' she said to herself. 'He likes me better than anyone, he even admires me, but I don't attract him that way.'
She did everything to seduce him except slip into bed with him, and she only did not do that because there was no opportunity. She began to fear that they knew one another too well for it to seem possible that their relations should change, and she reproached herself bitterly because she had not rushed to a climax when first they came in contact with one another. He had too sincere an affection for her now ever to become her lover. She found out when his birthday was and gave him a gold cigarette case which she knew was the thing he wanted more than anything in the world. It cost a good deal more than she could afford and he smilingly reproached her for her extravagance. He never dreamt what ecstatic pleasure it gave her to spend her money on him. When her birthday came along he gave her half a dozen pairs of silk stockings. She noticed at once that they were not of very good quality, poor lamb, he had not been able to bring himself to spring to that, but she was so touched that he should give her anything that she could not help crying.
'What an emotional little thing you are,' he said, but he was pleased and touched to see her tears.
She found his thrift rather an engaging trait. He could not bear to throw his money about. He was not exactly mean, but he was not generous. Once or twice at restaurants she thought he undertipped the waiter, but he paid no attention to her when she ventured to remonstrate. He gave the exact ten per cent, and when he could not make the exact sum to a penny asked the waiter for change.
'Neither a borrower nor a lender be,' he quoted from Polonius.
When some member of the company, momentarily hard up, tried to borrow from him it was in vain. But he refused so frankly, with so much heartiness, that he did not affront.
'My dear old boy, I'd love to lend you a quid, but I'm absolutely stony. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent at the end of the week.'
For some months Michael was so much occupied with his own parts that he failed to notice how good an actress Julia was. Of course he read the reviews, and their praise of Julia, but he read summarily, without paying much attention till he came to the remarks the critics made about him. He was pleased by their approval, but not cast down by their censure. He was too modest to resent an unfavourable criticism.
'I suppose I was rotten,' he would say ingenuously.
His most engaging trait was his good humour. He bore Jimmie Langton's abuse with equanimity. When tempers grew frayed during a long rehearsal he remained serene. It was impossible to quarrel with him. One day he was sitting in front watching the rehearsal of an act in which he did not appear. It ended with a powerful and moving scene in which Julia had the opportunity to give a fine display of acting. When the stage was being set for the next act Julia came through the pass door and sat down beside Michael. He did not speak to her, but looked sternly in front of him. She threw him a surprised look. It was unlike him not to give her a smile and a friendly word. Then she saw that he was clenching his jaw to prevent its trembling and that his eyes were heavy with tears.
'What's the matter, darling?'
'Don
't talk to me. You dirty little bitch, you've made me cry.'
'Angel!'
The tears came to her own eyes and streamed down her face. She was so pleased, so flattered.
'Oh, damn it,' he sobbed. 'I can't help it.'
He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and dried his eyes.
('I love him, I love him, I love him.')
Presently he blew his nose.
'I'm beginning to feel better now. But, my God, you shattered me.'
'It's not a bad scene, is it?'
'The scene be damned, it was you. You just wrung my heart. The critics are right, damn it, you're an actress and no mistake.'
'Have you only just discovered it?'
'I knew you were pretty good, but I never knew you were as good as all that. You make the rest of us look like a piece of cheese. You're going to be a star. Nothing can stop you.'
'Well then, you shall be my leading man.'
'Fat chance I'd have of that with a London manager.'
Julia had an inspiration.
'Then you must go into management yourself and make me your leading lady.'
He paused. He was not a quick thinker and needed a little time to let a notion sink into his mind. He smiled.
'You know that's not half a bad idea.'
They talked it over at luncheon. Julia did most of the talking while he listened to her with absorbed interest.
'Of course the only way to get decent parts consistently is to run one's own theatre,' he said. 'I know that.'
The money was the difficulty. They discussed how much was the least they could start on. Michael thought five thousand pounds was the minimum. But how in heaven's name could they raise a sum like that? Of course some of those Middlepool manufacturers were rolling in money, but you could hardly expect them to fork out five thousand pounds to start a couple of young actors who had only a local reputation. Besides, they were jealous of London.
'You'll have to find your rich old woman,' said Julia gaily.
She only half believed all she had been saying, but it excited her to discuss a plan that would bring her into a close and constant relation with Michael. But he was being very serious.
'I don't believe one could hope to make a success in London unless one were pretty well known already. The thing to do would be to act there in other managements for three or four years first; one's got to know the ropes. And the advantage of that would be that one would have had time to read plays. It would be madness to start in management unless one had at least three plays. One of them out to be a winner.'
'Of course if one did that, one ought to make a point of acting together so that the public got accustomed to seeing the two names on the same bill.'
'I don't know that there's much in that. The great thing is to have good, strong parts. There's no doubt in my mind that it would be much easier to find backers if one had made a bit of a reputation in London.'
4
It was getting on for Easter, and Jimmie Langton always closed his theatre for Holy Week. Julia did not quite know what to do with herself; it seemed hardly worth while to go to Jersey. She was surprised to receive a letter one morning from Mrs Gosselyn, Michael's mother, saying that it would give the Colonel and herself so much pleasure if she would come with Michael to spend the week at Cheltenham. When she showed the letter to Michael he beamed.
'I asked her to invite you. I thought it would be more polite than if I just took you along.'
'You are sweet. Of course I shall love to come.'
Her heart beat with delight. The prospect of spending a whole week with Michael was enchanting. It was just like his good nature to come to the rescue when he knew she was at a loose end. But she saw there was something he wanted to say, yet did not quite like to.
'What is it?'
He gave a little laugh of embarrassment.
'Well, dear, you know, my father's rather old-fashioned, and there are some things he can't be expected to understand. Of course I don't want you to tell a lie or anything like that, but I think it would seem rather funny to him if he knew your father was a vet. When I wrote and asked if I could bring you down I said he was a doctor.'
'Oh, that's all right.'
Julia found the Colonel a much less alarming person than she had expected. He was thin and rather small, with a lined face and close-cropped white hair. His features had a worn distinction. He reminded you of a head on an old coin that had been in circulation too long. He was civil, but reserved. He was neither peppery nor tyrannical as Julia, from her knowledge of the stage, expected a colonel to be. She could not imagine him shouting out words of command in that courteous, rather cold voice. He had in point of fact retired with honorary rank after an entirely undistinguished career, and for many years had been content to work in his garden and play bridge at his club. He read The Times went to church on Sunday and accompanied his wife to tea-parties. Mrs Gosselyn was a tall, stoutish, elderly woman, much taller than her husband, who gave you the impression that she was always trying to diminish her height. She had the remains of good looks, so that you said to yourself that when young she must have been beautiful. She wore her hair parted in the middle with a bun on the nape of her neck. Her classic features and her size made her at first meeting somewhat imposing, but Julia quickly discovered that she was very shy. Her movements were stiff and awkward. She was dressed fussily, with a sort of old-fashioned richness which did not suit her. Julia, who was entirely without self-consciousness, found the elder woman's deprecating attitude rather touching. She had never known an actress to speak to and did not quite know how to deal with the predicament in which she now found herself. The house was not at all grand, a small detached stucco house in a garden with a laurel hedge, and since the Gosselyns had been for some years in India there were great trays of brass ware and brass bowls, pieces of Indian embroidery and highly-carved Indian tables. It was cheap bazaar stuff, and you wondered how anyone had thought it worth bringing home.
Julia was quick-witted. It did not take her long to discover that the Colonel, notwithstanding his reserve, and Mrs Gosselyn, notwithstanding her shyness, were taking stock of her. The thought flashed through her mind that Michael had brought her down for his parents to inspect her. Why? There was only one possible reason, and when she thought of it her heart leaped. She saw that he was anxious for her to make a good impression. She felt instinctively that she must conceal the actress, and without effort, without deliberation, merely because she felt it would please, she played the part of the simple, modest, ingenuous girl who had lived a quiet country life. She walked round the garden with the Colonel and listened intelligently while he talked of peas and asparagus; she helped Mrs Gosselyn with the flowers and dusted the ornaments with which the drawing-room was crowded. She talked to her of Michael. She told her how cleverly he acted and how popular he was and she praised his looks. She saw that Mrs Gosselyn was very proud of him, and with a flash of intuition saw that it would please her if she let her see, with the utmost delicacy, as though she would have liked to keep it a secret but betrayed herself unwittingly, that she was head over ears in love with him.
'Of course we hope he'll do well,' said Mrs Gosselyn. 'We didn't much like the idea of his going on the stage; you see, on both sides of the family, we're army, but he was set on it.'
'Yes, of course I see what you mean.'
'I know it doesn't mean so much as when I was a girl, but after all he was born a gentleman.'
'Oh, but some very nice people go on the stage nowadays, you know. It's not like in the old days.'
'No, I suppose not. I'm so glad he brought you down here. I was a little nervous about it. I thought you'd be made-up and... perhaps a little loud. No one would dream you were on the stage.'
('I should damn well think not. Haven't I been giving a perfect performance of the village maiden for the last forty-eight hours?')
The Colonel began to make little jokes with her and sometimes he pinched her ear playfully.
'Now you mustn't flirt with me, Colonel,' she cried, giving him a roguish, delicious glance, 'Just because I'm an actress you think you can take liberties with me.'
'George, George,' smiled Mrs Gosselyn. And then to Julia: 'He always was a terrible flirt.'
('Gosh, I'm going down like a barrel of oysters.')
Mrs Gosselyn told her about India, how strange it was to have all those coloured servants, but how nice the society was, only army people and Indian civilians, but still it wasn't like home, and how glad she was to get back to England.
They were to leave on Easter Monday because they were playing that night, and on Sunday evening after supper Colonel Gosselyn said he was going to his study to write letters; a minute or two later Mrs Gosselyn said she must go and see the cook. When they were left alone Michael, standing with his back to the fire, lit a cigarette.
'I'm afraid it's been very quiet down here; I hope you haven't had an awfully dull time.'
'It's been heavenly.'
'You've made a tremendous success with my people. They've taken an enormous fancy to you.'
'God, I've worked for it,' thought Julia, but aloud said: 'How d'you know?'
'Oh, I can see it. Father told me you were very ladylike, and not a bit like an actress, and mother says you're so sensible.'
Julia looked down as though the extravagance of these compliments was almost more than she could bear. Michael came over and stood in front of her. The thought occurred to her that he looked like a handsome young footman applying for a situation. He was strangely nervous. Her heart thumped against her ribs.