“You’re right again,” said Salvador, “you are a man of respect, and I did wrong. But that damn Tomas, he told me that you decided not to pay me, and well—”
“But you’re no fool,” said Carlitos Chico, cutting Salvador off, “so how could you take that pimp’s word without coming to see for yourself? I got your money ready for you. I’m a man, damnit, un macho!”
“You are,” said Salvador, glancing at the woman. And he suddenly thought that he’d seen this woman before, but he couldn’t place her. She was in her late twenties, probably just a few years older than Carlitos, and she had a hard look to her like she’d been around, but you could also see that she had a lot of respect for her man. She was tough. The whole incident had not unnerved her.
Salvador felt like such a fool. What if someone had burst in on him and Lupe? It was true, they would have had to kill him.
“Look, Carlitos, I agree with you, I did wrong; I’m sorry, and I tell you what I’ll do. How much do you make per day working as a foreman at the Santa Margarita Rancho right now?”
“Well, I don’t get paid by the day anymore, Salvador,” he said, proudly “I get paid by the month.”
“Okay, well how much a month?”
“It’s a lot, Salvador.”
“How much?”
“Thirty dollars, month in and month out,” said Carlitos, proudly. “Rain or shine, it don’t matter.”
“Oh, that is a lot,” said Salvador. “But what the Hell! I made a big mistake and so I’ll pay for it. You pay me the money you owe me, and we’ll deduct one month’s wages that you don’t pay me.”
“All right!” said Carlitos, “now you’re talking! But you remember who I am next time, Salvador! I’m not some little run-away pimp who abuses women and who’s afraid of work or guns or castration!”
Carlitos then paid Salvador the money that he owed him, deducting the thirty dollars, and said that he needed another barrel. They parted como hombres de estaca. But, also, Salvador fully realized that when this story got out, it was going to hurt his reputation, opening up the door for a lot of fools to think that they, too, could challenge him.
But what could he have done? Kill Carlitos when it had been he, Salvador, who had been entirely in the wrong? The ins and outs of power had to be reevaluated on a daily basis, or reality, she did it for you in a very forceful, unceremonious way. Long ago, he’d learned that Lady Luck was not a woman who accepted the courtship of fools for long.
The Sun, la cobija de los pobres, was slipping, sliding into the sea by the time Salvador started back down the coast. He’d been a fool! A stupid fool! Tomas was one thing, but this Carlitos Chico was a whole other animal! And this animal, my God, had the biggest human cock probably in the whole world, and guts, too! Why, Salvador had never seen anything like that on any human being!
Suddenly, Salvador remembered where he’d seen that woman before. She was the wife of the owner of the big, famous Mexican restaurant up in San Juan Capistrano. She wasn’t in her late twenties. Hell, no! That woman was probably closer to forty years old, but my God, after being with Carlitos, he’d ironed out all of her wrinkles from inside out, making her look twenty years younger.
Salvador now felt very happy. Carlitos wasn’t going to tell anyone about their little incident. And she wasn’t either. Because her husband was a big shot—not just among los Latinos, but los gringos, too—and so there was no way that Carlitos or that woman wanted anyone to know about their wild excursions.
Just north of Oceanside, Salvador pulled over to take a leak. The stars were out by the millions. Life was truly full of twists and turns. Never would he have guessed what Carlitos was really famous for—he was such a small-bone, wiry, little Indian.
Salvador got a pint bottle out of his trunk, and took a few good swigs, then capping the pint bottle, he breathed deeply. Hell, Carlitos was a regular walking, talking fountain of youth for a woman whose husband called himself Spanish, when he was really a Mexican from Zacatecas and was well known for chasing after every new, young waitress he hired.
It was dark by the time Salvador came into downtown Carlsbad, and he realized that he was late, but so much had happened. He hoped Lupe wouldn’t be too mad at him. But, well, what could he have done? After he’d pistol-whipped the man, he’d had to stick around and work things out.
Then he remembered his .38 and he slipped it out of his pants and put it under his seat as he turned right into the orchard where their little cottage was located.
He could see that the lights were on inside of their casita at the end of the driveway. His heart-corazón leaped with anticipation!
FOR HOURS LUPE HAD BEEN WAITING for Salvador. She’d taken her bath and fixed up the house, then she’d gotten so hungry that she wanted to eat, but no, she had a special meal in mind for him, and so she hadn’t wanted to spoil her appetite.
Finally she hadn’t been able to wait any longer, so she’d made herself a couple of quick, little quesadillas to hold her over. But eating her second tortilla with the melted cheese and homemade salsa, she’d looked out the kitchen window for the hundredth time and she’d suddenly seen all the orange trees, lemon trees, and avocado trees—as if for the first time—and so she’d rushed outside to pick herself a bunch of avocados.
She made two more quesadillas and added avocado this time, and they’d tasted so good! But still she’d been starving, so she’d heated up three more tortillas de maiz! After eating these, she’d decided to go outside and pick some flowers and try to calm down. She’d put a few flowers in the bedroom and some others in the kitchen, then she’d gone back outside again—so she wouldn’t be tempted to make more quesadillas—and she’d sat down on the front steps with their little dog Chingon and the two cats.
By now the Father Sun was going down behind the orchard in the west. Suddenly, she didn’t know why, but she could feel, here, inside, that something was happening to Salvador right at this very moment.
She gripped her stomach, closing her eyes, and she could see that he was in danger. She could really see-feel it here, inside of her mind’s eye. She opened her eyes and picked up the calico cat, holding her to her breasts. Salvador, her truelove, was in trouble, and she just knew it. Tears came to Lupe’s eyes and she quickly made the sign of the cross over herself and sent God’s love to him, so that he’d have the power to get himself out of whatever trouble he was facing.
After all, her mother had explained to her time and again, that love wasn’t just love for a woman. No, for a woman when she was in love, she then became an instrument of feelings, of intuitions, of a Sacred Knowingness that came straight from the Almighty.
For a woman to be in love meant that her whole corazón was open, and an openhearted woman had the Holy Eyes of Creation!
Lupe now continued hugging the cat to her breasts as she sent all of her love to Salvador who was in trouble. Oh, she could feel it, she could see it, she could see-feel it here with her heart-eye inside of her self that her true-love was in danger.
Then suddenly it was gone—just like that!
Salvador was no longer in danger. He was safe now. She just knew it here, in her corazón. She’d helped him. She’d helped him as surely as her mother had helped them all to survive those terrible days of the Revolution.
She smiled, feeling good that she’d been able to help her husband out of his danger, but also, there was a part of her that just hated him for not being home on time and putting her through all this pain.
Lupe dried her eyes and put the cat down and went inside. It was beginning to get cold. She began to whistle. She just knew that everything was better now, and Salvador, her husband, her esposo, would soon be home and he was okay. She decided to start dinner.
It was dark when she looked out the kitchen window and saw her love’s headlights turn in their driveway. She felt like going out the front door screaming and scratching his eyes out for making her worry so much! But no, she didn’t. Instead, she simply smoothed out her apron
as she’d seen her mother do a thousand times, and she began to hum to herself as she went to the stove, turned on the gas, and began to fix their special dinner for them.
She was not going to be one of these emotional, always-yelling wives. No, she was going to keep calm and have dignity, then after they’d eaten, that’s when she was going to let him have it with this hot frying pan between the eyes!
Lupe laughed. Just the thought of hitting him with the hot pan that she now had in her hands made her feel much better.
She was humming, singing when Chingon started barking at the oncoming car. Then the headlights went out, the motor of the Moon stopped, and she heard the door of their automobile open and shut. Chingon’s barking changed to sounds of welcoming.
She dried her eyes again. She’d been so frightened for Salvador, but no, absolutely no, he would not see her tears. And he wouldn’t see her anger, either. She was going to be a good wife. After all, it wasn’t just the dog who’d bit him. She’d bit Salvador, too, and so she could do it again if she so chose.
She laughed, feeling much better.
She’d truly enjoyed how he’d screamed out in pain when she’d put her teeth to him like a real chingona!
WALKING IN THE FRONT DOOR, Salvador was smiling and feeling no pain. Hell, he’d drunk most of the pint bottle of whiskey driving down the coast, fully realizing that once he got back inside his home there’d be no more drinking. But he really didn’t mind that; after all, he was in love.
But then, coming in the front door, he wondered about his breath. She was in the kitchen, and it smelled good, but he didn’t know what to do about his breath.
“You’re just in time!” she said, so full of gusto. “I’ve started supper!”
He went into the kitchen. What else could he do? And there she was, his love, and she had a flower in her hair and she came across the room, away from the stove, with open arms to kiss him. He quickly turned his face away so she wouldn’t smell his breath.
“Let me wash up first,” he said. “I’m all dirty.”
“Oh, all right,” she said, feeling a little disappointed.
He looked over her shoulder and saw that she’d also set the table for them in the front room with flowers and white linen. It was beautiful. Their home, their casa, their nest. Never in his life had he known such pleasure. Why, all the sex that he’d had with other women didn’t even compare a little bit to what he was now feeling with this young bride of his who was here standing before him, looking at him with such love!
He rolled his tongue around inside his mouth. From now on, he’d have to keep some candy or something in the car, so he could get the taste of the liquor out of his mouth before he came inside their casita.
He took Lupe in his arms, wanting to kiss her, to taste of her, but not until he’d washed his mouth.
“Oh, I missed you so much,” he said.
“I’ve missed you, too,” she said. “I feel like you were gone for years, Salvador! I was getting worried!”
“I’m sorry,” he said, “but you see, well, I . . . ah, had a little trouble collecting the money this guy owed me.”
“Oh, Salvador,” she said, suddenly feeling her heart beginning to pound again, “you have to be careful of people who don’t want to pay what they owe! My nino, my sister Sophia’s first husband, whom I was very close to, his father was killed by a man who owed him money. It was awful, this man shot my nino’s father, right there in front of my nino’s eyes who was only ten years old, just because he didn’t want to pay the money he owed.
“You need to be very careful, Salvador,” said Lupe, tears coming to her eyes. “Money can do wild things to people’s minds. I just knew you were in trouble! I could feel this pain here in my stomach! I don’t want you getting killed, you hear me, Salvador, and especially not for money!”
He smiled. Her eyes were full of passion. “It’s okay,” he said. “Believe me, querida, you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to get killed.”
“You better not, Salvador, because, well, I . . . I . . . we’re married,” she said, “and we have a home to build and a future and . . . and people are depending on us.”
“And you, you love me, right?” he said, smiling, guessing that this was what she’d really started to say at first, for he was beginning to see that she often had trouble saying these words.
“Yes, that, too,” she said, and she kissed him fully on the lips, then turned, going to the stove. “Now, you get out of here! I don’t want you seeing what I’m cooking ’til I’m ready.”
“Why not?” he asked, taking off his coat.
“Because, well, I’ve just discovered that maybe I don’t know how to cook as well as I thought,” she said.
“You mean you don’t know how to cook?” he said, suddenly realizing that the pint bottle of whiskey was in his jacket.
“No, I didn’t say that,” she said. “I said maybe. But just the same, don’t you come into the kitchen ’til I call you.”
“All right,” he said, glancing around the room, trying to decide where to hide the bottle but still have it handy. He looked at the big stuffed chair in the front room and decided that would be a good place, under the pillows.
“I’m going to go wash up,” he said.
“Okay, but don’t be too long,” she said. “This is really special.”
“Great,” he said, going out of the room, then—when he saw that Lupe wasn’t looking—he slipped the pint bottle under the two pillows that Hans and Helen had made especially for them with their names, Sal and Lupe, embroidered on them.
He was in the bathroom washing, whistling happily, when he suddenly heard a terrible scream, and he saw his eyes go wide with terror in the mirror.
Instantly, he turned, rushing down the hallway, wishing that he’d brought his .38 inside instead of that stupid pint bottle. He continued racing into the kitchen, not knowing what to expect. Smoke was everywhere. He couldn’t see what was going on!
“What is it?” he yelled.
“Nothing!” she shouted. “I’m just cooking.”
“Cooking!” he said, opening the back door and waving the smoke out of the room with a dishrag.
“Yes, everything is fine,” she said. “Just fine! It’s just that, well, the cheese slipped a little bit out of the chile is all.”
“The chile?”
“Yes, I’m making your favorite, chiles rellenos. Don’t you remember? You once told my mother that chiles rellenos are your favorite, so I—”
And there it was again.
Lupe dipped the next chile stuffed with cheese into the batter, put it in the sizzling hot pan, and the whole thing exploded! The chile went flying one way, the cheese another, and the pan caught on fire with batter!
Salvador burst out laughing. This had to be the funniest thing, he’d ever seen!
And there was Lupe stomping her foot, jumping up and down, yelling at the chile to stop it.
“Stop it, chile!” she shouted. “What’s wrong with you? Don’t you know you’re supposed to stay in the pan so the cheese can melt!”
Salvador fell back against the wall, howling with laughter!
Then she was crying. “Oh, Salvador, I so much looked forward to cooking this special meal for you all day, but then I got so hungry that I ate, I think, a dozen quesadillas with avocado, and—oh, stop laughing! I swear, or I’ll hit you with this frying pan!
“You were late, Salvador!” she added. “You were late! And I got so worried for you that my stomach hurt!”
“I’m sorry,” he said, trying to stop his laughter. “I’m really sorry, but I was all the way up in San Clemente, and—you ate a dozen quesadillas” he said, in astonishment. “Well, maybe, that’s why your stomach hurt.”
She heard his words and her eyes narrowed and suddenly she was so mad because, well, what he said made sense, but she’d been so sure that her stomach had hurt because she’d been worried for him.
“Oh, you don’t love me,” she sai
d. “Or you wouldn’t say such an awful thing! My stomach hurt because you were in trouble, Salvador, and I could feel it here in my heart! Not because of those quesadillas!”
He didn’t know what to say or do.
“Didn’t you feel a sudden calmness come to you,” she continued, “when you were in danger collecting your money?”
“Yeah, sure, after I knocked him down,” he said.
“You knocked him down?” she said.
“Well, yes,” said Salvador, realizing that he was digging himself in as he spoke. But what could he do? “He came at me with a piece of firewood and I didn’t want to kill him, so I hit him to the side of the head with my gun.”
“You had a gun?” said Lupe, staring at Salvador full in the face. Oh, her heart was beginning to pound once again.
He took a big breath. He’d really dug himself in deep. Love and lies just didn’t mix. “Look, Lupe,” he said, “we’ll talk later, okay?”
“And when is later?” she asked.
He looked at her. He swallowed and looked at her. Why, my God, this young, innocent-looking wife of his could be a tiger. “Well, later is when— let’s eat, then we’ll talk. I have a lot to tell you. You see, I was raised in los Altos de Jalisco, and up there all men carry guns. And remember, you, yourself, just said that your nino’s father was killed when he went to get money that was owed to him, and I’m sure he was without a gun. Guns aren’t bad, querida, they’re just another tool like, well, a saw or knife or—”
“No, Salvador,” said Lupe, smoothing out the apron on herself, “guns were made just for killing, nothing more.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I saw what guns did to our village every time soldiers came,” she added. “Now, sit down while I make you the chiles rellenos,” she continued, “and we’ll talk later, like you said. Oh, I was so sure that I knew how to cook these darn chiles after eating my mother’s all of my life.”