“I’m sorry.”
“I just want to know one Goddamn thing, Alexis,” he yelled angrily. Alexis looked down to the ground, knowing what the question was going to be before he ever asked.
“Did he put his dick in you?”
Alexis hesitated and looked up. The question caught her off guard. She wasn’t expecting him to ask it like that.
“That’s what I thought,” he said when she didn’t answer. Cory turned, and heaved the tennis ball clear across the field, and started toward his car.
“Cory, please don’t leave, let me explain.”
“Explain what, Alexis?” he said through gritted teeth. “How you can just go jump in bed with that fucking slime ball as soon as my back is turned?”
“Cory, no. It wasn’t like that.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. You more than likely didn’t use a bed. What? Did you take him out to the barn, too or did you just do it in a field somewhere?”
Her stomach was rolling again, “Cory, will you stop? Come here and talk to me.”
“No, Alexis. I don’t think there is anything that I want to hear from you. I’ve heard all I need to hear. I just can’t believe I was this stupid. I felt it all along. I knew this was going to happen.
“Where are you going? Cory come here.”
“I am going to take the real-estate sign out of my yard and sleep there. I’ll be after Riki in the morning.”
“Oh my, God. Will you stop and listen to me for five minutes?”
“Yes, I will. Tell me two things first.”
Alexis’s words were defeated. “What, Cory?”
“One, did you kiss him?”
“He kissed me.”
“Two, did he put his dick in you?”
“Cory, it wasn’t like that. I swear.”
“Did he, Alexis?”
“Yes, but—
“I’ll be after Riki in the morning.”
“And do what with her, Cory? Take her back to the lovely babysitter you hired for her when you came here? You’re not taking Riki anywhere.”
Cory disregarded her last remark and glared at her as he opened his car door.
“Cory, please don’t do this,” she begged.
Cory didn’t say a word, he got in his car and backed it up, spinning gravel as he put it in drive and floored it out of her driveway.
Alexis didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t lose him. She hated herself for getting on the back of that quad, all for nothing. The whole reason she went was to get him alone and tell him to back off. She knew there was no way Cory would ever believe that, not after waiting on her for as long as he did.
She gave him time to get to the town house and called his cell phone, of course he wouldn’t answer. “Cory, baby, please don’t do this, will you call me please? I’ll tell you everything. You just need to listen to me for five minutes, please?”
She got no response, not even after four text messages. She laid on the couch with a pounding head, pleading for the phone to ring. She jumped three feet when it finally did.
‘Hello,” she said, disappointed to hear Bernie.
“You okay?”
“I don’t think so, Bernie, he left.”
“He’s just mad, Lex. Let him cool off, he’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Do you think so?”
“Of course I do, but you can’t blame him for being mad. Travis was ready to kill Mitch. Thank God he was gone by the time we got back.”
“How could I have been so stupid, Bernie?”
“You could always blame it on the alcohol.”
“No. Not this time. What if he doesn’t come back?”
“He’ll be back, don’t worry. Go to bed and get some sleep, clear your head. Things will look a lot better in the morning. They always do.”
Alexis stayed on the couch, finally dozing off around three in the morning. She woke five hours later, hoping it was all a dream. Kinley’s yell for her reminded her that it was not a dream. She stumbled up the steps to her in a fog, changed her and looked in on Riki, still sound asleep. The highchair and Froot-Loops seemed like the perfect sitter for a while. Alexis made coffee, reflecting on the night she wished never happened.
Kinley cooed and shared her colorful circles with Mr. Dog. Alexis tried to interact with her, but it was hard. It was even harder when Riki joined them a few minutes later.
“Where’s daddy?”
“He went into town, sweetie.”
“I want Froot-Loops too,” Riki said in a yawn.
“You need a bath,” Alexis said when she noticed she had slept in the same clothes that she was playing in at the farm. The girls played around, talking and babbling like any other day. Her lost cell phone crossed her mind when she realized she hadn’t checked it yet. Maybe Cory texted. She found it in the couch, but there was nothing. Once breakfast was over, the girls played in the tub and Alexis sat on the toilet, holding the black cordless phone in her hand, willing it to ring.
It was after noon and she hadn’t heard one word from Cory. Her dad called to check on her, but didn’t ask too many questions. She was thankful for that. Bernie called to check on her, and even Travis called from his truck, heading south for a few days, but nothing from Cory.
It wasn’t until after lunch that she finally heard something. Alexis was rocking Kinley to sleep and Riki was almost asleep on the sofa. She laid Kinley in the pack-n-play and went toward the buzzing phone. It was Cory, but it wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
Cory—Picking the girls up in twenty. I’ll feed them supper and bring them back before bedtime.
Alexis—They’re sleeping, come now and talk to me, please.
Cory—Nothing to say. Have them ready in an hour.
The girls were barely awake when Cory got there. Alexis tied Riki’s shoes and packed a diaper bag for Kinley. Really? Riki ran to open the door, calling him silly for knocking. Kinley saw her daddy and squirmed, trying to get to him from Alexis’s arms. She kissed her on the head and handed her to him with pleading eyes that Cory ignored. He didn’t even look at her. Cory held a smile, talking to the girls like he didn’t have a care in the world. Alexis walked out to the porch and watched as he strapped them both in, asking Riki if she wanted to get pizza later. Not one glance to Alexis.
After running a hot bath, she let the tears flow. This was really happening. Cory left her and there was nothing she could do it about. Nothing.
Alexis pulled on shorts and descended the steps when the hot bath did nothing for her shattered heart. With her phone to her ear, she dialed her friend.
“Bernie,” she huffed a cry.
“I’m on my way.”
Alexis sat on the swing, brought her knees to her chest and cried. What the hell was going on? How could this be happening?
Like she knew she would be, Bernie was pulling in the drive twenty minutes later. Although there was nothing she could do to help, Bernie was there. They sat on the porch and drank coffee. Coffee was the safer alternative. Alexis was swearing off alcohol. There was no way her stomach could handle it yet, probably never would again. Stupid whisky.
Alexis told Bernie everything that happened with Mitch the night before, making her swear not to tell Cory. “If he wants to know, he’s going to sit down and talk to me, but I really don’t think he will, Bernie. I’ve never seen him like this. He won’t even look at me.”
“Give him time, Lex, he’ll come around.”
As much as she hated it, Bernie had to leave to get Taylor around eight. “Come to work and try and get your mind off things.”
“I’ll be there.” Bernie hugged her and told her to call if she needed anything. There wasn’t a thing she could say to make things better, but at least she could be there. Lord knew Alexis was there enough for her during breakups.
Four
It was nearly nine before Cory brought the girls home. Kinley was sound asleep and Riki wasn’t far behind. She whined, wanting carried too when Cory retrieved Kinley from
her seat. Alexis walked down the steps in bare feet to help.
“Here, I can take Kinley.” Cory handed her over, briefly catching her eye. He shifted his eyes to Riki and carried her in.
“They’ve already had a bath,” he spoke, two steps ahead of her. Cory never walked ahead of her. He always made her go first. He hated her.
“Okay, thanks.”
“They’re my kids, you don’t have to thank me for taking care of them.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
Cory ignored her, devoting his attention to Riki and not her.
“Daddy will call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Why? I don’t want you to go to the other house. I want you to stay here.”
“I know, baby, but sometimes life changes.”
“Did you change?”
Riki questioned with her arms securely around his neck. Cory kissed her head and walked up the stairs to her room.
“No, just life. You’re too young to understand.”
“Did Lexis change?”
“No, her mask just fell off. Climb in. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Cory said as he dropped her to the bed.
Riki scooted off, back to the floor. “I have to pee first.”
“Go, I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Riki called as her feet skipped, carelessly down the hall.
“You’re going to play that game?” Alexis questioned. The mask comment was directed toward her, not Riki.
Cory leaned in close to her face and kissed Kinley’s sleeping head. “Game over, thanks for playing,” he whispered with warm words to her ear and walked away. Alexis turned and carried Kinley to her bed. She couldn’t even respond to that. She didn’t know what to say. The tears caught in her throat when Cory walked right past her with an armful of clothes.
“Can we read a book?” Riki wanted to know as she tugged on her hand.
“Yeah, go pick it out and jump in bed. I’ll be right back.”
Alexis followed Cory to the front porch. “That’s it, Cory? You’re just going to cut me off like that?” The sound of her snapping fingers was almost as loud as his quiet anger.
Cory spun on his heels and spoke right in her face. “You handed me the fucking scissors. What do you expect?”
“I expect you to hear me out. Is that too much to ask?”
“I don’t know, Lex. Is it? I expected you to keep your panties on. That was too much to ask,” he stated and walked toward his car.
“You can’t just throw us away, Cory,” Alexis called in a pleading tone with crossed arms. How could he just walk away like this?
“Watch me.”
Alexis pulled herself together and went to Riki, wishing she would hurry up and learn to read herself. She wasn’t up for reading, ‘The Tortoise and the Hare.’ Paige made her read that book a thousand times when she was little. She read the silly story and Riki listened like she’d never heard it before.
“Poor hare! Tired and in disgrace, he slumped down beside the tortoise who was silently smiling at him. Slowly does it every time!’ he said. The end.”
“Can we read ‘The Moon and Her Mother’ now?”
“Tomorrow night. It’s bed time.”
“I’m going to sleep at my dads’ other house when he gets new furniture.”
“You are?” Alexis questioned. She covered Riki and tried her best to keep her words from cracking, keep them normal.
“Yeah, at the furniture store and I’m getting a new bed, but I have to share a room with Kinney, cause there is only two bedrooms at that house.”
Alexis kissed Riki’s head and told her goodnight. “Go to sleep, munchkin. I love you.”
Riki yawned and repeated the same three words. “I love you, too.”
The thought of sleeping alone didn’t appeal to Alexis at all. She dreaded it with everything in her. Neon green numbers on the microwave reminded her of what she would be doing had Cory been home. They would have been cuddled on the sofa, flirting. They may have made it to the bed, before making love, and they may have done it right there on the sofa. Regardless of where, Alexis was sure they would have been gearing up for sex. The sofa felt like the better alternative to the bed. Mr. Dog never left her side. He was the loyal one. Just like he always had, he knew something wasn’t right. He knew Alexis was sad. She rubbed below his neck while, surfing channels to find nothing. The only thing that held her attention for more than twenty seconds was thoughts of Cory. Why couldn’t he just call? Why couldn’t she have a do-over, just one?
Monday morning was hectic. Her late night, tossing and turning on the sofa caused her to sleep in longer than she should have. Kinley was the one decided it was time to get up. Alexis hadn’t realized how much easier it was with two people getting the girls up and ready. Routine was shot all to hell. She couldn’t leave Kinley alone in her highchair with breakfast while she got herself ready. This was realized once she had Kinley changed and in her chair with scrambled eggs and toast. Cory should have been entering the kitchen at this time, ready to take over while she saw to Riki and dressed herself. Remembering the load of clothes she’d just hung up the night before, Alexis dressed in the laundry-room.
“Come on, Riki, eat up. We have to go.”
“Is it preschool day?”
“Yes, and we have to take Kinley to Aunt Sam and pick up Emily. Eat up.”
“I don’t want eggs. I want a pancake.”
“Tomorrow. Please don’t give me a hard time this morning. We’re already, running late.”
“Well, I’m not going to eat it.”
“Fine, Riki. Don’t eat it. Can you watch Kinley for two minutes while I run up and brush my teeth and fix my hair?”
“I want a Pop-Tart.”
Alexis held the grumble and gave her the strawberry Pop-Tart. Once she was in her bathroom, she decided to gather up her things and use the downstairs bathroom. She couldn’t hear a thing all the way upstairs, or was it more along the lines of Cory’s things. She couldn’t stand, seeing his things and not him.
This Monday sucked worse than most Mondays. The girls were late for school, the new girl just up and quit with a text message, she couldn’t keep her mind on her job, and Cory never called. Not one little text message. Thank God for Paige. She was more than happy to step back in for the summer, deciding her wish to take the summer off before school was boring. She loved working at the studio and she missed the money. Bernie liked her a lot better than the new girl anyway.
“I’m going. You guys okay?”
“We’re fine. Are you okay, Aunt Lex?”
“Yes, Paige. Thank you. I’m fine.”
“You don’t really look fine. Want me to come over and help with the girls or something?”
“No, I’m fine. I promise. I’m a McKinley, right?”
“For sure.”
Alexis hated this. She hated the pity on both their faces. “Call us if you need anything, Lex.”
“I’m fine, Bernie. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ve got to go get the girls.”
“What’s going to happen with Riki?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, she’s not yours. I mean is Cory going to take her?”
“We haven’t talked about it yet. Hell, we haven’t talked about anything yet. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Alexis turned and left on that note. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Riki, too. That would shred her, but she also knew there would be nothing she could do if he chose to do that. Surely he wouldn’t.
Alexis also had to hear it from her older sister. “Do you want to talk?”
“No, Sam. I’m fine. I want to get home and take something for this pounding headache.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“Not much. Riki, grab your backpack, sweetie.”
“What were you thinking, Lex?”
“Don’t, Sam. You don’t know anything.”
“I know what Doug told me.”
“Yeah, and
what was that?”
“That your shirt was inside out. I don’t get it. You just told the entire family about your upcoming wedding, and now—”
“Now what, Sam?” Alexis asked in a hateful tone.
“I’m just trying to understand what the hell you were thinking.”
“You think you’re innocent, Sam? You think I don’t know about you and Marcus? I may have been twelve, but I knew. Everyone knew.”
“Wow, Lex. That hurt.”
“I’m sorry, but you have no room to judge me. None. You don’t know anything. Let’s go, Riki.” Riki gathered her things and obediently followed angry Alexis out the door. She wasn’t used to seeing this side of Alexis. Alexis didn’t get mad.
Alexis tapped her fingers, ferociously to the steering wheel to the tune of the beating in her heart. Dammit. Why the hell did she have to blurt that out loud? She wasn’t mad at Sam.
“Are you mad at Aunt Sam?” Riki asked.
“No, I’m not mad. Play with Kinley. I don’t want her to fall asleep yet.”
“Is my daddy coming home?”
“No, I don’t think so, bug. He’s going to stay at his other house for a few days.”
“And then go to church with us?”
“Maybe,” Alexis lied while her fingers tapped harder.
The world came crashing in around her when Alexis ran up to change into shorts. She changed Kinley on her bedroom floor, and left her to her toys, locking the gate to the stairs. Her mind was already in a fog, but seeing the emptiness of their room changed everything. This was real and it was really happening. Cory’s side of the walk in closet was empty, his things were gone from the bathroom, and the tee-shirt she’d just slept in, was gone from the back of the chair.
As much as she tried, she lost. Alexis dropped to her knees and covered her mouth. Tears burned in her eyes and then fell.
“Are you sad?” Riki asked with little arms around Alexis’s neck.
“I am, sweetie, but it’s okay. We’ll be okay.”
Kinley crawled up her leg next and she held her, too. What the hell was going on? How could this be happening?
“I don’t want you to be sad.”
“Okay, I won’t be sad anymore. What do you want for supper?”