So this afternoon maybe I had run out of the house too soon. Maybe when I pressed the button a second time to make my double disappear…maybe it just took a minute or so for the camera to work.
Maybe he was already gone for good.
Maybe he disappeared a few minutes after I ran out of the house.
I pedaled for home as fast as I could. This thought really cheered me up. I had to be right.
I had to!
My problem was over. My life could go back to normal.
I zoomed up the driveway, jumped off my bike, and let it crash to the ground.
I dashed into the house, letting the screen door slam behind me. I checked the den first.
No one there.
Then I checked the living room. No one.
Yes! Yes! I pumped my fists in the air.
I was right! I was so happy.
I ran upstairs. I burst into my room.
“Hi,” said my double. He was sitting on the lower bunk.
“Hi,” said another double. He was sitting at my desk.
Now there were two of them!
“I warned you not to press the button,” my first double said. He was wearing exactly what I was wearing—a dark gray T-shirt and blue jeans. So was the second double.
I just stood and stared at them. You’d stare, too, if there were two other yous in your room!
“Hey, guy—I’m Ira Fishman,” the new double said to me. “Slap me five.”
“I know,” I said gloomily. I slapped him five, but my heart wasn’t in it.
“Nice to meet you, Ira,” the new double said.
“Nice to meet you, Ira,” I muttered.
“Where’s he going to sleep?” I asked myself out loud. “There’s no room for three of us!”
They went back to the talk they were having before I burst into the room. “What kind of cereal do you like?” my first double asked.
“CocoPops,” my second double said.
“Me, too!” cried the first double. “What’s your favorite sport?”
“I like baseball,” answered the second double.
“I do, too!” cried the first double. He looked up at me. “Isn’t this amazing? He’s just like us.”
“Amazing,” I muttered.
“What’s your favorite flavor bubble gum?” the second double asked.
“Banana,” answered the first double.
“Mine, too!” cried the second double.
“Who’s your favorite singer?” I asked.
“CC Mawl,” they both answered.
“Mine, too!” I said.
They were such nice guys, it was hard to stay out of the conversation. But then I heard the front door slam downstairs.
“What’s your favorite color?” my second double asked.
“Ssshhhhh,” I told them both, waving frantically for them to shut up.
“Hey, Ira! Ira!” Zack was home. He was calling me from the bottom of the stairs.
“Blue,” my first double answered.
“Mine, too! Amazing!”
“Shut up,” I told them. Then I yelled, “I’m coming, Zack!” and ran out of the room just in time. Zack was hurrying up the stairs. “No. Stay down. Stay down,” I told him. “I’m coming down.”
Zack gave me a funny look as I pushed him backward down the stairs. “I’m starving,” he whined.
“I’ll fix you a sandwich,” I said.
“Peanut butter and jelly,” he said, still whining.
“I know. That’s the only sandwich you eat.”
I made Zack a sandwich, and I made one for me. Zack complained that I put too much jelly on his. He can be a real pain sometimes.
He kept complaining about it, but I didn’t really listen. I was thinking about the two Iras up in my room. How was I going to keep anyone from seeing them? How was I going to get rid of them?
Zack finished his sandwich and went outside to see if Marv was around. I was too tired to get back on my bike and ride around the block again. So I flopped down on the couch in the den and tried to think.
But thinking on a couch isn’t the same as thinking on a bike. I had no ideas. I decided to go upstairs and ask them what they thought. They were as smart as me. Maybe they’d have a good idea about what we should do.
I ran up the stairs two at a time and hurried into my room.
They were gone.
“Great!” I told myself. “Maybe they left together.”
But then I heard voices coming from outside. The voices sounded like my voice.
I ran over to the window and looked down on the backyard. There were my doubles playing catch with a softball.
And there was Zack watching them from the driveway, a very confused look on his face.
“Oh wow,” I muttered. “Oh, wow. Oh, wow.”
I stood frozen at the window.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think straight.
What was I going to do?
How could I explain this to Zack?
If I told him the truth, he’d probably get really scared.
I ran down the stairs just as Zack was coming in the back door. He still looked confused. And when he saw me in the house, he looked even more confused.
“How’d you get in so fast?” he asked. “I saw you in the backyard.”
“I took a shortcut,” I told him.
“But you were playing catch with yourself,” he said. “There were two of you.”
“What?” I acted surprised. “What on earth are you talking about, Zack?”
“There were two of you,” he repeated. He looked at me as if I were playing some kind of trick on him. He scratched his head. “I saw you both,” he said.
“Uh-oh,” I said. “I’m a little worried about your eyes, Zack. I think you’ve got a problem.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Maybe you need glasses.”
“No, I don’t,” he protested, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“Well, if you’re seeing double, you might need glasses,” I said. “Let me give you a little test.”
He thought about it for a while. “Okay,” he said finally. “What kind of test?”
I held up two fingers. “How many fingers do you see?” I asked him.
He squinted hard at my raised fingers, raising one eyebrow, then the other.
“Two,” he answered finally.
“Uh-oh,” I said, shaking my head. “Two? Are you sure? Look again, Zack.”
“I see two,” he said.
“I’m only holding up one,” I told him.
Then I held up four fingers. “Now how many do you see?” I asked him.
He squinted at my fingers. He took a long time. “Four,” he answered.
“No. I’m only holding up two,” I told him.
The poor kid looked like he might cry. I felt bad about playing a mean trick on him. I didn’t like to lie to him. But what choice did I have?
“You—you really think I need glasses?” he asked in a tiny voice.
“Maybe, maybe not,” I said. “Why don’t you go lie down in the den and watch TV for a while. If you don’t see double when you watch TV, you won’t need glasses.”
That idea seemed to cheer him up. He walked obediently into the den, and a few seconds later I heard the TV go on. “What are you watching?” I called to him.
“Double Trouble,” he called back.
I had to laugh. That was kind of funny.
That dumb old show reminded me of my double trouble—those two troublemakers playing catch outside where anyone who walked by could see them.
I hurried to the back door. “Hey, guys! Hey! Ira! We have to talk!” I called.
No reply.
I stepped out and looked around.
“Ohhhh.” I let out a low groan.
My heart sank to my knees.
They were both gone.
Where did they go?
I was in a total panic. I had to bring them back before anyone saw them.
> I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down. I had to think clearly.
Where did they go? Where did they go? Since they’re me, they would go where I would go, right? I reasoned. So—where would I go?
Hmmmm…I might go over to my friend Mark’s house, I thought. Yes. There’s a good chance I’d go to Mark’s house and ask him if he wanted to play ball at the playground behind school.
I decided it was worth a try. I got on my bike and started pedaling like crazy to Mark’s house.
It was just up the hill a few blocks away. But I felt like I was climbing a mountain. My legs were tired from all my earlier bike riding.
But it didn’t matter. I knew I had to find the other Iras no matter what.
I was so angry. What did they think they were doing?
Did they really think they could both parade around together all over the neighborhood? Did they really think no one would notice that there were two of them?
They were so dumb! I would never do anything that dumb.
I finally got to Mark’s house. I rode up his front walk, climbed off the bike, and rang his doorbell. I waited a minute, then I put my face up to the screen door. I could see Mark inside hurrying to answer the bell.
“Hey, Fish!” He looked really surprised. He stared at me from the other side of the screen door. “What are you doing back? I told you I can’t play ball. My mom says I’ve got to watch my little sister this afternoon.”
So I was right! They had been here. I was on the right trail.
“Oh. I…uh…I left my bike here. So I…uh…came back for it,” I said. It was a pretty lame excuse. But it was the best I could do.
“But you—you weren’t riding your bike,” Mark said. He was looking at me like he didn’t believe me.
“Oh. I guess you’re right,” I said. I jumped onto the bike, turned, and rode off as fast as I could.
I turned the corner and headed for the playground. Passing the Corner Candy Shop, I suddenly realized I was starving.
I knew that I needed a Butter Bliss candy bar immediately. It would give me the energy I needed to find those stupid guys and drag them home.
Did I have any money?
I kept one hand on the bike’s handlebars and reached the other hand deep into my jeans pocket.
Yes. I had a dollar bill.
I was supposed to give it to Mrs. Quinn to pay for a class field trip, but I had forgotten.
Excellent!
With a whole dollar I could buy two Butter Bliss bars.
I leaned my bike against the game machine—the machine that had caused me all of this trouble—and walked inside.
My mouth was watering. I could taste those creamy Butter Bliss bars already!
“You’re back?” the man behind the counter said. He was very short and very bald, and he looked very surprised to see me.
“Excuse me?” I cried.
“You came back to pay me the money?”
Uh-oh. I knew I was in trouble.
“What money?” I asked.
“The money you owe me for those two Butter Bliss bars you bought a few minutes ago. You said you’d come right back, remember?”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure,” I said. “Here I am.”
“And the money?” He reached a big pink hand over the counter.
“Here,” I said. I handed him the dollar bill.
He stuffed it quickly into his cash register. “Thanks a lot. I like an honest kid. You want anything else?”
“Well…” I said, trying to get the nerve to ask. “Could I maybe have one more Butter Bliss bar? I’ll pay you for it tomorrow.”
He gave me a strange look. “I’m all out. You took the last two when you were in here the first time—remember?”
“Oh. Right,” I said. “I thought maybe you got a new shipment in.”
“A new shipment in five minutes?”
I said goodbye and unhappily walked back out. Now I was really steamed.
My doubles had taken the last two Butter Bliss bars—and I had to pay for them! That wasn’t fair.
At least they had been smart enough to send only one of them into the store. But that didn’t make me feel any better.
I was tired. And starving.
And totally fed up with them.
When I finally got to the playground, I couldn’t believe what I saw. There they were, near the volleyball nets, playing catch with my softball.
And not far away on the diamond, a softball game was going on with a lot of kids from my class. My doubles were right out in the open field. Both of them.
They didn’t seem to care if anyone saw them!
I rode my bike across the grass as fast as I could. “Come on. Let’s go!” I shouted. “We’ve got to get home.”
They both smiled as if they were happy to see me. “Go home? Why?” one of them asked.
“We have to have a little talk,” I said. “Come on!”
I think they could tell by the look on my face that I meant business. Pedaling slowly, I led my doubles away from the diamond, away from all the kids. I just wanted to get them home without anyone seeing them.
We almost made it.
We were at the far end of the playground, about to cross the street, when I heard somebody shouting. “Ira! Hey—Ira!”
I turned around, and there was Scotty Furman running toward us.
“Hey, Fish—wait up!”
It was too late to make a run for it. He saw all three of us. And he looked very upset and confused.
No one said anything.
Scotty stood there staring at the three of us. The three of us stood there staring back at Scotty.
Finally I said, “Scotty, have you met my cousins?”
“Cousins?” By this time his eyes were practically bugging right out of his head. “Cousins? You’re kidding—right! They look just like you!”
“Yeah,” I said, trying to seem calm. “We’re a very close family.”
I started to lead my two doubles quickly across the street, but Scotty followed. “But—but you’re dressed exactly alike!” he cried.
“Isn’t that amazing?” I said. “We couldn’t believe it, either. Just one of those weird coincidences!”
“Hey, guys!” Scotty called to the kids on the softball diamond. “Come here. You’ve gotta see this!”
“We have to go. We’re late,” I said.
“Hey—come over here! Look at Fish’s cousins!” Scotty yelled.
About a dozen kids came running over the grass to see what the fuss was.
I jumped on my bike and pedaled full speed across the street. “Let’s go!” I yelled to me and me.
The three of us took off.
“Hey, come back!”
“Fish—what’s your hurry!”
“Hey, you guys! Come back here!”
Shouting, the kids chased after us, with Scotty in the lead. We turned the corner and started racing downhill. They were right behind us, yelling for us to stop.
No way.
No way we were going to stop.
One of the nice things about having three of you is that you can split up and run in three different directions. Which is just what we did.
One double turned left, one turned right, and I kept going straight.
The kids chasing us split up, too. But now they were totally confused.
And since they weren’t really sure why they were chasing us in the first place, they gave up pretty fast.
I rode all the way home without looking back once. All three of us arrived at the back door at the same time. We were hot and sweaty and breathing hard.
“Okay, Ira and Ira, up to my room,” I ordered.
“Why? What’s going to happen?” one of them asked.
I frowned at them. “We’re going to settle this problem once and for all.”
The two doubles plopped down on the rug in my room and rested. I was too upset and angry to rest. I paced back and forth in front of them.
“We’ve go
t to talk,” I said.
I picked up the little black box from my desk. I held it tightly in my hand, and I made sure my fingers were nowhere near the green button.
“When is dinner?” one double asked.
“When Mom and Dad get home,” the other double told him.
“Don’t call them Mom and Dad,” I snapped. “They’re not your mom and dad—they’re mine.”
“Mine, too,” the first double insisted.
“Mine, too,” the other double said.
“Ugh!” I slapped my forehead with my hand.
“We’re all Ira Fishman, right?” the first double remarked. “So we have to have the same mom and dad.”
“Listen, guys,” I started again. “This isn’t working. We can’t all be Ira Fishman and you know it.”
“But we are Ira Fishman,” the second double said.
“Look at us,” said the first double. “Who else could we be? We’re Ira Fishman. That’s for sure.”
“But, the three of us can’t live together in this house,” I argued. “It’s too crowded.”
“It was fine till you showed up,” the second double said to me.
“But I was first!” I shouted.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Are you sure you were first? Because actually, I think was first.”
“No. I was first,” the other double said, shaking his head. “I know it.”
“Stop this! Stop it!” I was really losing my temper.
“Hey, I warned you not to press the green button,” the first double said. “You didn’t listen.”
I held up the little black box. They looked surprised. They didn’t know I had picked it up.
“There must be a way to reverse this,” I said, rolling the box over and over, looking at it as carefully as I could. “There’s got to be a way to make the two of you disappear.”
The first double grabbed the box from my hand. “No way!” he said.
I grabbed for it. He tossed it to the second double.
I went after the second double. “Give that back!”
He tossed it over my head to the first double.
“Come on—give it to me! It’s mine!” I shouted.
The first double swung around me and threw the box to the second double. They were having a great time playing keep-away.
But now I was really frightened.