“Christmas 2006 was beautiful. There was more snow than had been seen in years. Storms, power outages, roads closed, and people complained, but I loved it. Wind was blowing the snow about in the mountains so the peaks disappeared into the mist of the blowing snow, melted into the clouds, the clouds looked like mountains, mountains as high as the eye could see, all white and soft gray shadow and endlessness as though there were no such thing as death at all. I felt exhilarated and everyone was happy, happy to be warm and dry with wood on the fire and food warm in the oven. We all ate all day long and had company. People came by and talked and left and others came, all my neighbors, my husband’s nieces and nephews and I didn’t care that they all spoke Spanish among themselves, serves me right I guess for never learning it but I didn’t care, the house was full and when at last all the visitors had gone home and it was dark I still had my houseguests, my family now, our second Christmas together. I could hear the boy, growing up so fast, but still a child, trying to coax some food into the dog in the yard, poor old dog, and Noah snoring on the sofa with the television on, the parrot repeating jokes in Spanish, a new challenge I guess and old Cassandra and I played cards, gin rummy like my grandmother taught me. I’m a tough gin rummy player, she didn’t have a chance, won three games to my thirteen “like life” she said “you win some, you lose a lot” and we both laughed. I let her tell my future then with my beautiful tarot deck that I’d put away so long ago. It came up death again but not for us. She said she and I would live to be a hundred and since our birthdays are within a couple weeks of each other that makes it convenient: as only one of us will have to be left alone and then not for long. Yes I believed her, why not?
And I believed her about Noah, that he would find his rest before the year was out and not to mind because he was ready. Sure enough, he went out walking one last time a couple days later into the snow covered mountains. The boy wanted to take the dog and go look for him but Cassandra said only if the Sheriff went too. We gave him his time, time to find his resting place and then when enough time passed and he had not returned and we knew we were right, we called the Sheriff and the volunteer medics went also, searching, but in the snow they could not find his body and probably won’t until spring, if even then. But I, I dreamed they found his body peaceful like he’d just fallen asleep in a spot we knew he’d chosen carefully, a hollow place in a rock outcropping where he had walked in the fall to see the view, a beautiful spot, a spot to feel worshipful, a good place to die. I’ve had this dream many times this past week and it gives me comfort. Only a few days have past since we last saw Noah, but it seems a lifetime ago. Time is like that.”