Finally, he lost his patience and he interrupted her on a quiet explosion, “Lily, for Christ’s sake!”
That was when her hands came up to either side of his face and she stared him in the eyes. He realised she wasn’t looking at him with a wary, guarded expression nor were her shields up. She also wasn’t staring at him horrified and repulsed that he’d slept in dirty sheets, had a mother who was a drunken drug-addict and committed crimes before he was in his teens.
Instead, she was planning his birthday party.
And she was looking at him the way she used to look at him, with a look of awe, wonder, as if he was conqueror of nations, creator of worlds.
This hit him with the weight of a dozen anvils, he felt that weight and a clutch in his chest even as he felt warmth spread through his gut and his voice was rough when he murmured, “Lily.”
“I’m going to make you a cake,” she promised softly, “every week until your birthday so you can pick which one you like best.”
At her soft words, he felt the clutch in his chest release, completely and finally, leaving him free for the first time in his life to just breathe.
He pulled her tight into his arms, burying his face in the side of her neck and rolled to his back, taking her with him so she was on top.
“And we’re going to have a big party,” she continued speaking softly in his ear. “And we’re going to have a big Christmas. But, before that, we’re going to have a Fourth of July party and Thanksgiving –”
“I love you, Lily,” he whispered into her neck.
“And we’re going… what?”
He tilted his head back into the pillows and looked in her beautiful blue eyes. “I love you, Lily, more than anything on this earth.”
For a moment she just stared at him, her eyes wide and filling with wonder. Then he watched, fascinated, as they brightened with tears.
“Really?” she breathed.
Keeping their eyes locked, Nate lifted his head and brushed his lips against hers. “Really,” he said there.
“You love… me?” she asked, as if that was impossible to believe.
Because of Fazire’s story, he now understood her disbelief that he could love her even if it still stunned him and Nate knew he had to make her believe. His hand came up and tucked a sheaf of her heavy hair behind her ear.
“Yes, I love you,” he said, his voice hoarse with feeling.
“But –” she began and he kept going, resting his palm against her jaw and running his thumb along her tear-stained cheek.
“I loved you the minute I saw you, elegant, untouchable, beautiful and not for the likes of me,” he told her with complete honesty.
“Beautiful?” she whispered.
“When I first saw you, you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen and I remember everything Lily, every woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. You were extraordinary, magnificent, so much so I couldn’t even move.” Nate watched as her tears came faster and his other hand came up to frame her face and wipe away the wetness with his thumb. Then he whispered, “You still are, darling.”
Her face clouded and she pulled slightly away. “I have to tell you…” she whispered hesitantly and went on cautiously, “it’s all a wish. You don’t really see me. You see what Fazire –”
“I know about Fazire,” Nate cut her off. “I know what he is. I know about your wish and it wouldn’t matter.” He watched her eyes grow round and he continued. “If there was no wish, no magic and no genies, I’d think the same thing. I see you Lily, your natural elegance, your beautiful eyes, your fantastic smile, your lush body –”
“Stop,” she cut in and rubbed her fingers across her cheeks, trying to brush away the tears as she pushed his hands away but he held fast.
“You are beautiful, but I don’t love you because you’re beautiful.”
She became still again in order to stare at him.
“Why do you love me?” she whispered and he answered immediately.
“Because you have the courage to jump on a purse snatcher’s back. Because you have an unnatural abhorrence to litter. Because you act like a ride on a motorcycle is like being given the keys to a kingdom of dreams. Because you have the ability to make all the people around you love you even when they barely know you. Because you inspire loyalty. Because you made our daughter happy even when you were not. Because you created a comfortable, loving home for her even though you had no money.”
“Nate, don’t –” she interrupted, squeezing her eyes shut as if it would blot out his words but he didn’t listen.
“Because you taste good and feel even better. Because you look at me like no one else has ever done.”
“Stop,” she broke in forcefully, her eyes flying open, “I want to tell you why I love you.”
He felt his body get tense.
“Do you?” he asked quietly.
“Do I what?” she asked in return.
“Do you still love me?”
He watched her brows snap together. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He smiled at her and he knew it was a smile filled with regret. “I don’t know, darling,” he answered softly, “maybe because I let you go, broke my promises, didn’t take care of you, made you beg for –”
She lifted her hand between them and waved at the air while saying, “Oh that. I’m over that.”
At this breezy announcement and her acting as if his constant betrayals of trust were akin to forgetting to take out the rubbish, Nate couldn’t have stopped it if he’d tried, which he didn’t and his body started shaking with laughter.
He decided instantly that he loved that about her too, her ability to forgive though, in the same instant, he vowed he’d never do anything that she’d have to forgive, not ever again.
His laughter was short-lived when he heard Lily gasp.
“What’s happened to your hand?” she cried, rearing back, she grabbed his wrist and stared at the bloody handkerchief tied around his hand.
“It’s nothing.”
She lifted her eyes from his hand to his face and glared at him and even with her angry glower, he could have kissed her.
“Right, nothing. Like my migraines are just headaches,” she snapped.
“Lily.”
She crawled over him, her hand latched to his wrist and pulled him out of bed.
“I want to see,” she said, tugging him toward the bathroom.
“I said, it’s nothing.”
She halted and turned back to him. “I want to see.” She underlined her words verbally and there she was.
He knew in that instant that he finally, irrevocably, had her back.
His Lily.
His.
She’d wished for him.
Him.
Nathaniel McAllister.
He was meant for her and she was meant for him, they belonged to each other, they belonged together.
Relief sweeping through him, he gave his wrist a swift yank. Pulling her off balance and into his arms, his head descended and his mouth took hers for a quick, hard kiss.
When he was done and he saw the smoky dark blue at the edge of her irises was creeping toward the pupil, he muttered in a voice that said, clearly, she really had no choice in the matter, “You can see when I’m done making love to you.”
Without hesitation she agreed, “Okay.”
It was then that he started laughing again but this, too, was short-lived because Lily leaned up on tiptoe, threw her arms around his neck and she gave him a hard kiss.
But Lily’s wasn’t quick.
* * * * *
Much later, Lily’s naked back pressed to his front, Nate buried his face into her fragrant hair.
He hadn’t made love to her, she had pushed him to his back and she’d made love to him, her mouth and hands on him as she spoke softly, lips against his skin, telling him all the reasons she loved him.
Not because he was rugged, lean-hipped and wealthy with a broken heart she needed to (and did) mend.
&
nbsp; But because he was, she said, brilliant. He was strong and people respected him. He kissed well and she mentioned something about gymnasts doing cartwheels and back handsprings in her belly but he wasn’t paying much attention because, at the time she was saying it, her tongue was tracing the ridges of his own stomach and he found he couldn’t concentrate on her words. She told him he had a beautiful smile. She informed him, to his surprise, her parents would have liked him. She explained he was a good son to Laura and Victor. She said he was good at taking care of her when she was ill. And finally, she finished with the fact that he made her feel safe and he was an excellent father.
With her finishing words, he rolled her on her back and took over the lovemaking with such rigorous intent, she couldn’t speak at all.
When they were done she’d again yanked him out of bed to see to his hand. She cleansed it, bandaged it and he’d allowed it, not letting on that she was the first and only person he’d ever let take care of him. He’d never even allowed Laura to tend to him but he didn’t share this either. He would, just not right then. There were other things he needed to share.
Then he guided her back to bed. There he pulled her back to his front and quietly, he shared with her the rest of his life, speaking more words at one time than he ever had. He told her of growing up with Deirdre, of his mother not sending him to a special school when the teachers told her she should, of her murder, of Victor’s part in saving him then Laura’s, of Danielle’s unwanted attention and Jeffrey’s malice.
Through this all, she said nothing, simply rested her arm on his at her waist and laced her fingers in his. Often her body would tense but she didn’t interrupt him.
Finally, when he was finished and silent, she whispered, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
It was his turn for his body to tense. “I thought if you knew, you’d leave.”
“Why?” she asked.
“You’d probably never seen a syringe filled with heroin or held your mother’s hair when she was so drunk she was getting sick in the toilet,” he explained.
“You thought I’d leave because you had a terrible, awful, horrible, useless, unspeakably bad mother?” she queried and at any other time Nate might have smiled at her dramatic description of his mother but it wasn’t the time for smiles.
“I thought you’d leave because I did bad things.”
“You didn’t know,” she defended him.
“I did know. I was young but I wasn’t stupid,” Nate replied.
“You had no choice,” she returned immediately.
Nate didn’t answer for this was true.
Finally he said, “It isn’t a pretty story of genies and magical wishes or even lazing away summer days floating on ponds.”
“No,” she admitted, “but it made you… you.”
“Yes,” Nate allowed for this was true too.
“And I love you,” she went on.
This time his arm tensed, pulling her deeper into his body.
“Yes,” he murmured.
“And I wouldn’t change a thing about you, except to erase what you’ve been through,” she told him, snuggling even closer.
“I didn’t want it to touch you,” Nate shared. “It was ugly, dirty and I didn’t want it to be a part of your life.”
“It was ugly and dirty but you weren’t,” Lily replied in a voice vibrating with feeling and registering so low, he had to tilt his head closer to hear and what she said next shook him so deeply, any remaining armour he had around his heart fell away (although, there wasn’t much left) and the quickly melting ice around it shattered. “I’m proud. I’m proud of who you were, how you survived and what you’ve become. And I’m proud that you were an inspiration to make Victor see he should change his life so you and he and Laura could have a better one. And I’m proud that you love me and we made Tash together.”
Nate closed his eyes and drew in his breath. Of all of it, he’d been dreading this moment the most. He had one last admission to make that night.
“Lily, there’s something else you need to know.”
“All right,” she said trustingly and, now vulnerable, knowing he’d come so far, she’d given so much and he had her back, he steeled himself against her reaction to his next words.
“I meant to get you pregnant,” he announced.
She went completely still and Nate felt his chest constrict. Then she turned in his arms and looked into his eyes, hers were bemused.
“I did it with intent,” Nate went on, feeling she had to know and hating himself for doing it as well as the fact he had to tell her. “I wanted to bind you to me, I knew how you felt about family and I thought making you pregnant would mean you’d never leave. I didn’t know you were pregnant when you did leave but I did everything I could when we –”
“Thank God,” she breathed, shocking him into silence with her words. Then she smiled her quirky smile and Nate stared at her, dumbfounded by her reaction.
She moved in, brushed her lips against his and turned again, nestling contentedly into his body.
“If you hadn’t,” she carried on sleepily, clearly not upset in any way that he’d callously impregnated her in a selfish effort to tie her to him then left her to bear the child alone through a difficult pregnancy and a birth that caused her to die for two minutes and thirty-eight seconds and then, for seven years, she’d reared Tash under supremely trying circumstances all without Nate’s assistance, “we wouldn’t have Tash and, well, anyway… thank God.”
And that, Nate realised with a profound sense of relief, was that.
He buried his face in her hair, laid silent and listened as Lily fell asleep.
Then he held her.
Then, for the first time in his life, at peace with himself, at peace with his past, Nate slept.
He woke before dawn and carefully pulled away so as not to wake her but she rolled into him and wrapped her arms around him.
She lifted sleep-filled eyes to his, “Where are you going?”
He kissed her softly and murmured, “I have to go to Tash. Go back to sleep, darling.”
She nodded, gave him a sleepy smile and let him go. The minute he exited the bed, she clutched his pillow to her.
Nate dressed, sat on the edge of the bed and tucked her hair behind her ear.
“You’ve seen me on our wedding day,” she muttered into the pillow, not opening her eyes.
Nate bent down and touched his mouth to the skin at the back of her ear.
“I think we’ve had all the bad luck there is to have,” Nate assured her.
Her lips came up in a half-grin before she fell back to sleep.
Nate allowed himself a moment to watch her, a moment to feel the joy that had replaced the tightness in his chest, to come to terms with his newfound sense of contentment, security, belonging.
Then he left his soon-to-be wife and went to their daughter.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Everyone
Lily
“Lily, the limousine is here!” Maxine called up the steps.
Lily stood looking at herself in the mirror thinking maybe, just maybe, Nate hadn’t been bewitched by Fazire’s magic, maybe she was beautiful.
Her dress was simple ivory silk, strapless, form-fitting, cut at just above the knee. At her waist there was a thin belt of the same ivory material with a small, silk-wrapped, square buckle. She had on a pair of pointed-toed, stiletto-heeled, ivory, sling-backed pumps. The only jewellery she wore was a one strand pearl necklace and matching bracelet with pearl studs in her ears, a set that Laura had given her that morning stating it was her engagement present from Laura and Victor. Her hair was swept back softly in a satin ivory ribbon tied in a bow at the nape of her neck.
“You look fab,” Susan said from behind her.
Lily’s eyes moved to the three girls in her bedroom with her. Susan, Emily and Lorna were her shopgirls from Flash and Dazzle. The shop was closed for the day so the girls could attend the wedding and be involved in
the preparations.
Susan was great with hair and thus, she did Lily’s for her wedding day. Emily was great with makeup so ditto Emily’s reason for being there. Lorna had no special skill but Lily was not about to leave one of her girls out and Lorna was the type of girl who wouldn’t have allowed that anyway.
Lily could have, considering the fact that she had a little less than seven million pounds in her bank account, had the best stylists and makeup artists in the United Kingdom tending to her wedding preparations but what would be special about that?
Maxine hustled into the room, all business.
“Come on girls, you better get going or you’ll never make it to Bath on time and –” she stopped dead when her eyes fell on Lily. Then her mouth dropped open. Then, seconds later, she burst into loud tears.
Lily, Susan, Emily and Lorna all rushed toward Maxie and Lily wrapped an arm around her friend.
“Maxie, what on earth’s the matter?”
Maxine’s tear-brightened eyes never left Lily. “You…” she started then sighed, “oh Lily.” And Maxine threw her arms around Lily and gave her a tight hug. When she pulled back, she looked in Lily’s eyes and whispered, “You’re the most beautiful bride in the world.”
Lily smiled thinking that, of course, Maxine would say that.
“Hear hear!” Lorna shouted so loud and with such conviction that Lily jumped and Lorna downed the last sip out of her champagne glass.
“I’ll say!” Emily followed suit with her champagne.
“Me too!” Susan chimed in, not drinking as Susan was driving all the girls to Bath.
“What’s going on?” Laura bustled in, looking around the room which bore the evidence of not only wedding preparations but of a hen morning that had started the minute Lily staggered, tired from a sleep-disturbed night, but still elated at the events of that night, into the kitchen to see a concerned Maxine and Laura sitting at the kitchen table. Once their eyes hit Lily’s happy, shining face, their concern melted, hugs were exchanged, tears of joy fell and the first of several bottles of champagne was popped open.
Lily felt on top of the world, on top of the universe, gliding along in heaven.